I have had problems with my mother for years as she is a narrassist.

Usually I tend to forgive her when

she reaches out after I want space from her. She calls it a "Disappearing Act" as she can never find or
contact me. Her latest stunt was really unforgivable, however, my family has been calling me to forgive
my mom. I did not tell my family what she did as it is heart braking what she did.

My Great Grandmother, had passed away at 101 years from natural causes a few months ago. She was
loved, caring, was all about family. I named my daughter after her, she was so honored and happy.

When my mom and I were good at the time, she wanted to do a zoom memorial for grandma, but only
invite me, my brother, and my sister with our families. I was the only one that disagree & declined. Our
whole family was hurting.Grandma wouldn't like that. My mom got mad at me for not participating. I
wanted to include all family & friends. So, my sister talked to my mom about doing a Memorial CD to
give to everyone and they can send in pictures, poems, letters. I was happy that it was not secluded
anymore.

My sister told me, my Memorial CD is on its way. Then she informed me that my mom and her decided
to cut out my granny (biological son's-wife) and my dad ( biological grandson). My mom married into the
family divorced my dad after 15 years then married my dads brother. (Alot of family drama from that!
Plus it is not incest-my mom and my dads brother is not related by blood, I was asked that a few times). I
was devastated on what they did. My sister took responsibility for her actions and understood what she
did. Believe me, I was upset and had a stern talk. I wanted space after. We talked a month later.

As for my mom, she called me everyday for a week to watch the CD. I told her,"I was not ready". After
the umpteenth call, she was upset that she worked so hard the Memorial CD, she wanted know what I
thought as I declined to attend the zoom memorial. I gave my stern tone "let me grief on my own time".
My mom hung up on me. After I finally watched the CD, I texted my mom I watched the Memorial. She
called me demanding,"What is wrong with you"? I put a boundary that I needed to grief in my own time
plus I was upset that you cut your mother in law and dad out of the memorial. She lied, denied, and told
me it was either us or them. I never liked this but I always picked them when she asked me. I don't
believe in a us or them mentality. She yelled at me and said her usual you're such a horrible daughter
among other colorful words. So she disowned me and done with me again for the umpteenth time.

A week ago I talked to my sister, she told me to expect a call from mom in a week. My mom is quitting
her job and is stressed out and wants to work things out as it been 3 months. Also, she is not attending
our brother wedding cause dad is going. She did the same to me at my wedding, (I want my dad to give
me away) So I waited for the call. Nope, no call.
After that, I decided to talk to my husband and change my last will & testament. I always like simplicity
as I wanted to be cremated then bury under roses. I'm planning on moving to Colorado last year. Turns
out death certificates are private there. I thought about it... if my dad goes, my mom won't go and I
don't want my mom make another memorial CD and cut family, she may cut my husband out. With my
family saying, "She's your mother and you should forgive her". I don't want to happen again if I pass
before my mom. So I added my husband (he'd agreed to my wishes) to tell my family' "I left and never
look back". Make it as I'm still alive. I don't want a funeral and memorial. Records are private so my
parents can not see it. Some people may not agree, but I want peace after I pass... Plus my mom did say
she did hate when I do my disappearing act.