Fiqh of Marriage &

Divorce Course
Summary

Marriage is a beautiful union between a man and a woman through which they seek
to live a life of chastity and together build a healthy society.

Allāh Says in Sūrat’l-Dhāriyāt that He created us in pairs as a miracle for us to

ponder over and to thank Him:

And of everything We have created pairs, that you may

QURAN
remember (the Grace of Allāh). [al-Dhāriyāt, 51:49]

Allāh Says in Sūrat’l-Rūm that He placed love and mercy in marriage:

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves

QURAN

spouses that you may find tranquillity in them; and He

placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are
signs for a people who give thought. [al-Rūm, 30:21]

■■ Allāh created the male and the female to find comfort in each other.
■■ The husband and wife strengthen and support each other.
■■ Husbands and wives complement one another in their roles.

The Prophet’s wife ‘Ā’ishah reports that he said: Marriage

HADITH

is part of my Sunnah, and whoever does not follow my

Sunnah has nothing to do with me. [Ibn Mājah Vol. 3,
Book 9, Ḥadīth 1846]

■■ Marriage allows both genders to fulfil their desires in a legitimate manner

■■ Islam does not teach celibacy, rather, views marriage as a natural need of human beings just like they
need food and water
■■ Through marriage children are born and a family begins

1
 ‘Abdullāh b. Mas‘ūd narrated: We went with Allāh’s

HADITH
Messenger, while we were young men who had nothing.
He said: “O young men! You should marry, for indeed it
helps in lowering the gaze and protecting the private parts.
Whoever among you is not able to marry, then let him fast,
for indeed fasting will diminish his sexual desire.” [Jami‘ al-
Tirmidhi Vol. 2, Book 6, Ḥadīth 1081]

QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR IN A POTENTIAL SPOUSE

The Prophet said:

Narrated Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi
HADITH
wa sallam) said, “A woman is married for four things – her
wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So
marry the religious woman, may you prosper!” [Ṣaḥīḥ
Bukhāri Book 67, Ḥadīth 28]

■■ Look at the character of the person

■■ Examine their commitment to the religion; whether they are God-fearing or not
■■ Physical features of handsomeness & beauty are not the most important criteria to look for
■■ It is Islamically acceptable for marriages to be arranged by elders as preferred by some cultures with
the condition that there is no coercion
■■ Allowed to meet during the engagement phase by making sure there is no vulgarity, no physical
touching, nor meeting in a private setting
■■ Pray Ṣalāt’l-istikhāra ie. seek Allāh’s guidance on the matter

O Allāh, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by

HADITH

virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of

Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have
power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are
the Knower of hidden things. O Allāh, if in Your knowledge,
this matter (mention the matter by name) is good for me
in my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, then ordain
it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And
if in Your knowledge it is bad for me and for my religion,
my livelihood and my affairs, then turn me away from it,
[and turn it away from me], and ordain for me the good
wherever it may be and make me pleased with it.

2
 ■■ Speak to elders and those who have your best interest in mind about the proposal and the prospect
■■ A third party cannot come in with a proposal if it is known that a lady is already engaged to someone else
■■ Prohibited to propose to a widow during her waiting period of 4 months & 10 days
■■ The Prophet clearly said that a lady must be asked for her permission before getting her married:

The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “A matron

HADITH
should not be given in marriage except after consulting
her; and an unmarried lady should not be given in marriage
except after her permission.” The people asked, “O Allāh’s
Messenger (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam)! How can we
know her permission?” He said, “Her silence (indicates her
permission).” [Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhāri Book 67, Ḥadīth 72]

MARRIAGE CONTRACT

Mandatory Conditions of an Islamic Marriage contract

■■ Identification: Both parties must be known and properly specified

■■ Acceptance: Both must consent to the marriage and not be coerced
■■ Presence of a guardian (wali): a male of mature age from her family.

Abu Mūsa narrated that the Messenger of Allāh said:

HADITH

There is no marriage except with a Wali. [Jami‘ al-

Tirmidhi, Vol. 2, Book 6, Ḥadīth 1101]

■■ Witnesses: marriage must be conducted in the presence of at least 2 witnesses. Islam does not
condone the concept of secret marriages.
■■ Wedding Gift (mahr): something of value is given by the man to the bride, which must be discussed and
agreed upon by both parties. The amount is decided by culture and place.

Permissible conditions in the marriage contract:

Can be added as long as they do not violate the Sharī‘ah and become binding once both parties agree upon
them. Examples: choice of residence, educational expenses, etc.

Impermissible conditions:
Forbidden to add to the contract such as a “time clause” ie. setting an expiration date of the marriage; also
called nikāḥ al-mut‘a or temporary marriage.

3
ETIQUETTES OF MARRIAGE

They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.

QURAN
[al-Baqarah, 2:187]

■■ Spouses protect one another from all types of harm – physical and psychological
■■ Spouses find comfort in each other
■■ They cover each other’s faults
■■ They complement and beautify one another
■■ A righteous wife is one of the greatest blessings of this world.

It was narrated ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Amr b. al-‘Āṣ that the

HADITH
Messenger of Allāh said: This world is all temporary joys,
and the best temporary joy of this world is a righteous
woman. [Sunan al-Nasā’i Vol. 4, Book 26, Ḥadīth 3234]

ROLES OF SPOUSES:

Men are in charge of women. [Sūrat’l-Nisā’, 4:34]

QURAN

■■ Men are caretakers, providers, and are responsible for women

■■ Men must have the best manners with their wives:

The Messenger of Allāh (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

HADITH

“The best of you is the best to his wives, and I am the best
of you to my wives.” [Jami‘ al-Tirmidhi, Vol. 1, Book 46,
Ḥadīth 3895]

■■ The Prophet helped around the house and was never bossy toward his wives:

Hishām said: I asked ‘Ā’ishah, “What did the Prophet, may

HADITH

Allāh bless him and grant him peace, do in his house?” She
replied, “He did what one of you would do in his house. He
mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” [Al-
Adab al-Mufrad Book 30, Ḥadīth 540]

4
 ■■ Prophet advised the men:

“A believing man must not hate (his wife) believing woman;

HADITH
if he dislikes one of her characteristics he will be pleased
with another.” [Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim Book 1, Ḥadīth 275]

■■ Wives are required to be reasonably obedient to their husbands

■■ Domestic violence as well as emotional abuse is forbidden in Islam
■■ Speak to each other in a loving and gentle manner
■■ Respect each other

DIVORCE

■■ General default in Islam is for marriages to last forever

■■ Divorce is similar to a fire drill in that knowledge of it is necessary but is only turned to as a final resort.
It is never taken as a first step as evidenced in the ḥadīth:

It was narrated from ‘Abdullāh b. ‘Umar that the

HADITH

Messenger of Allāh said: “The most hated of permissible

things to Allah is divorce.” (Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Mājah Vol. 3, Book
10, Ḥadīth 2018]

Steps to resolve marital conflicts:

11. Husband and wife should have an open conversation about their differences
22. Seek counselling and therapy
33. Both husband & wife should approach close family or friends who can act as arbitrators for them
■■ Typically elderly individuals who possess wisdom
■■ Have the best interest of both parties with the goal of saving the marriage.
Allāh Says in Sūrat’l-Nisā’:

And if you fear dissension between the two, send an

QURAN

arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her

people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allāh will cause
it between them. Indeed, Allāh is ever Knowing and
Acquainted [with all things]. [al-Nisā’, 4:35]

5
 44. Pray istikhara for guidance on what the next step should be
55. Once points 3-1 fail, and istikhara points to divorce, then the Qur’ān says in Sūrat’l-Ṭalāq:

O Prophet, when you (Muslims) divorce women, divorce

QURAN
them at the right timings, and count (accurately) their
‘iddah (periods). And fear Allāh your Lord (O Muslims), and
turn them not out of their (husband’s) homes, nor shall
they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of
clear immorality. And those are the set limits of Allāh. And
whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allāh, then indeed
he has wronged himself. You know not; perhaps Allāh will
bring about after that a [different] matter. [al-Ṭalāq, 65:1]

Proper Divorce (Ṭalāq al-Sunni ie. done according to the teachings of the Sunnah)

Principle: Divorce is never given in haste nor in anger. It is planned just as one plans marriage.

STEPS:

11. Must be given with one statement

22. Can only be given when the lady is in a state of purity and no intimacy has occurred
33. Waiting period of 3 menstrual cycles begins
44. Couple must live under one roof without being intimate
55. Upon the end of the 3rd cycle, the marriage dissolves and the lady leaves the house
66. If the couple wishes to come back after a few months, all procedures must be performed again.
However, it shall forever remain on record that the couple has been divorced once.
7. Divorce can occur a maximum of 3 times after which the couple can no longer be married and the
woman must marry someone else in a legitimate marriage with the intention for it to last

Improper Divorce (Sinful divorce)

■■ Divorce given during menses

■■ Divorce given in the same month when couple have been intimate
■■ Husband utters divorce multiple times in the same session: “I divorce you 3 times”

6
Attitude Towards Divorce:

■■ Divorce is not evil

■■ Does not make someone a bad person
■■ Wrong for a community to stigmatize the divorcee. Examples of righteous ṣaḥābah and ṣaḥābiyat who
divorced:
»» Zubayr b. al-‘Awwām and Asmā’ bint Abu Bakr
»» Zayd b. al-Ḥāritha and Zaynab bint Jaḥsh

Khul‘a: divorce that is initiated by the woman

a. Different rulings from ṭalāq

b. Can be initiated during menses or in the state of ritual purity
c. The lady gives up a portion or entirety of the wedding gift (mahr)
d. Once mahr is accepted by the man, the waiting period begins after which the marriage is annulled