(A doctor, Joe, is on stage with a large pain scale poster with facial

expressions show levels of pain from 1-10)

JOE
Hello my name is Dr Curly Moe but you can call me Joe.
Today we will discuss the medical pain scale

(Points to pain scale poster)

JOE (CONT.)
To help me demonstrate exactly what this pain scale means is my assistant...
Larry.

(Larry enters happily)

LARRY
Hello.

JOE
How you feeling?

LARRY
Good!

JOE
This represents a 1 on the pain scale. Note the smile and cheerful disposition.
No pain at all?

LARRY
Nope.

(Joe gives Larry a hard slap on the back)

LARRY (CONT.)
Ow!

JOE
The pain would now be a two. Note the slight aggravation.
 The eyes narrow a little and the smile is gone
but this subject can still function normally.

(Larry gives Joe a dirty look. Joe smiles and points to the audience. Larry
turns back toward them and tries to smile)

JOE (CONT.)
Next we have a three.
(Joe pulls Larry's hair)

LARRY
Hey!

(Larry rubs head - goes up to a Joe to protest and gets slapped across the
face)

JOE
And then a four.

LARRY
Listen here you!

(Joe punches Larry in the stomach)

JOE
Five.

(Stomps on foot)

JOE (CONT.)
Six.

LARRY
That's it!

(Larry charges but Joe dodges and trips him)

JOE
Seven.
(Larry is moaning and tries to get up)

LARRY
Please.

(Joe gets out duct tape)

LARRY (CONT.)
No!

(Joe puts duct tape on Larry's arm and pulls off hair)

JOE
Eight.

(Gets Larry in a headlock and pulls a nose hair)

JOE
Nine. We now see signs of extreme pain. The subject's eyes are watering.
He's moaning. He is stumbling around disoriented and unable to speak.
Finally for the ten. Ten represents your upper limits. The subject's pain at this
level
has become so bad that one appears to be at death's door. Subjects will be
crying and
sobbing, begging for someone to put them out of their misery because the
pain
is so unbearable that death is preferred to continuing to live with such pain.
And to demonstrate a ten, I will now...

LARRY
Forget it. Keep your $5. I'm out of here!

JOE
Wait! Come back! I will give you an extra dollar.

(Larry gets away and Joe returns sadly)

JOE (CONT.)
Oh well - perhaps we can find a volunteer in our audience?
Who would like to show us what ten looks like today?
(Joe looks for a volunteer from the audience)

LARRY
How about you show them?!

(Larry runs in with a bat or club. Joe screams and runs out. They can run
back and forth a few times across the stage with different weapons to add to
the comedy if desired)

END