POWER OF PEN 2021 (SENIOR)

AN EXPERIENCE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

Major changes in one’s life largely depend on the understanding of the chaos of
their emotions and the ultimate truth of the uncertain life, for which life itself
has to come in action. For the funny part, the maturity that comes with “life-
changing experience” usually tends to disregard the age of an individual and
might amaze them with lifelong trauma. My life rather chose the funny part and
now I’m here narrating the most unfortunate event that happened to mock my
innocence in the most satirical way.
It was twenty-fifth December, the usual time for ‘celebrations’, I guess. Not the
same for us though. Being a cute teenager with absolutely zero emotional
understanding was slightly tough but it was still a usual day for me except for
the fact that it was the twenty first day of my grandmother being in the intensive
care unit. Everything was still pretty cool, literally. We were so used to being
welcomed by her hope-drenched face that the situation was not as harsh as it
sounded. To be very honest, regular trips to the hospital were enough to keep us
sane in that cold atmosphere.
Back to when I failed to maintain the count but it was another typical day at the
hospital. Family members almost giving up. Uncertainty in the air and the
distressed eyes. The sudden cries. The inevitable silence and the dry mouths.
The helplessness could be witnessed even in the innocence of a five-year old.
But empathy made the environment survivable and the attendees made it
enjoyable.
The three week long stay at the hospital was quite enlightening to say the least.
The chaos managed to provide me with the mandatory life lesson when I
sneaked into the ICU for a comparatively longer time, all by myself. The first
glance at her tidied face has a permanent place in my heart and I still couldn’t
figure out the most precious part of my existence- the conversation we had or
her genuinely effortless smile. Her want to escape this cruel world is what I
terribly failed to understand at that age. Failing to figure out the seriousness of
her will to escape, we justified it with being extremely tired.
Living in denial definitely resulted in our peace of mind while innocently
clasping hers but eventually she escaped.
Twenty-fifth December, 7:41 p.m.– it actually happened.
We failed. The incessant silence followed by the fear of acceptance was beyond
human expression and our numb souls, with endless crying sessions, were still
drowning in guilt. Absence of warmth from her cold body led to absurd
hallucinations and us being delusional until the darkness collapsed.
Ultimately life goes on.
Life has been hard since then but it isn’t as meaningless as earlier and I’m proud
of my shaped perspective on life. Acceptance is necessary in whatever case
scenario you’re thrown into as it carries with it the truth of life. I’m still stuck in
the void, in the emptiness of my want to escape, and learning.

Vanshika Sachar
XII-A
Aliganj-1