Brain Hacks

Brain H acks
BRain
Hacks
Life-Changing Strategies to
Improve Executive Functioning
LARA HONOS-WEBB, PHD

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To Ken, Kenny, and Audrey Webb
for the ultimate brain hacks:
their love, support, and encouragement
Contents
1W hat Is Executive Functioning? 1

2 Attention & Focus 23
3 Planning & Organization 45
4 Cognitive Flexibility 67
5 Emotional Regulation 85
6 Impulse Control 105
7 Your Road to Success 125
Resources 132
Further Reading 134
References 136
index 140
Chapter One
What Is
Executive
Functioning?
Executive functioning describes the cluster
of advanced cognitive skills—including work-
ing memory, organization, and emotional
control—that acts as your “command center”
as you navigate all the complicated tasks of
daily life. Simply put, it comprises the thinking
skills that allow you to be the boss of your life.
Executive functioning determines your ability
to stay focused, plan ahead and organize, resist
temptations, and stop something once you’ve
started it. It also helps with emotional regula-
tion and your ability to make transitions and
solve problems with flexibility.
People who struggle with their executive functioning, such as those
with ADHD, can face serious challenges getting ahead and meeting
their goals, experiencing things like distractibility, disorganization, and
even emotional outbursts. But the fact is that everyone can benefit from
strengthening their executive functioning. Who wouldn’t want to enjoy
better organization at home or improved focus at work?
This book offers a powerful toolbox of strategies to help you make an
evolutionary leap by tapping into these critical mental skills. With a little
time and effort, you will transform from being distracted by your brain
to being the director of your brain. When you harness the power of your
executive functions, you’ll work smarter, look before you leap, and build
a life based on your own plan, instead of trying to put out fires as you
white-knuckle through each day.
2 Brain Hacks
Executive functioning is associated with your brain's prefrontal cortex,
shown in the following illustration. This part of your gray matter is
essentially the CEO of your brain. It is the last of the brain regions to fully
develop, and it controls most of the higher-order thinking that is essen-
tial for functioning smoothly in adult life. Imagine a corporation without
a CEO, where no one has a clear job description or sense of purpose in
the company. It would be a recipe for a failed business. The same is true
for people. If your executive functioning is weak, you’ll find that it’s dif-
ficult to keep the “business” of your life afloat. The more you build your
executive functions, the better equipped you’ll be to succeed in all areas
of your life. By hacking these fundamental brain skills, you can learn to
work smarter and get better results.
Prefrontal
Cortex
Let’s look at a quick example of executive functioning in action to

examine what we use it for and what can go wrong with it.
Imagine that Emma is planning a three-day trip to Las Vegas in
June. To prepare, Emma asks herself questions such as, “What will
the weather be like?” and “How long will I be there?” and “What will
I be doing?” Asking and answering questions like that allows her to
plan which clothes to pack and what supplies she’ll need to take along:
What Is Executive Functioning? 3

sunblock, enough clothing for three days, a book to read on the plane,
electronic chargers, and so on. As she’s planning, she writes out a list so
she doesn’t forget anything. It’s executive functioning that allows her
to ask these seemingly simple questions, which are actually the keys to
effective planning.
Now, imagine Olivia is going on the same trip, but she struggles with
her executive functioning. Maybe she put off planning for the trip until
the last minute, or maybe she didn’t plan at all. The night before the trip
is chaotic and anxiety-ridden. She mindlessly grabs a family-size suitcase
and stuffs in random articles of clothing, including a couple of sweat-
ers she won’t need because it’s going to be over 100 degrees. She ends up
packing more than a week’s worth of clothes, even though she only needs
enough for three days. And she forgets to pack her phone charger and
other important items, including her ID.
Emma, who is efficiently using her executive functions, has a more
enjoyable trip than Olivia. She caught her flight, didn’t have any unnec-
essary expenditures, and avoided other mishaps that plague people with
weak executive functioning.
Whether you’re more like Emma, more like Olivia, or somewhere in
between, the techniques you’ll learn in this book will help you be a happy
traveler of life. Whether you’re organizing a work project or planning
your summer vacation, strong executive functioning will ensure that you
get where you need to go on time and are fully prepared to meet whatever
comes next.
How to Use This Book

This book provides you with a multitude of tools for strengthening your
most advanced brain functions, giving you huge advantages at work, at
home, and in your relationships. Specifically, it provides a type of strat-
egy that I’m calling brain hacks—ways to tap into your mind’s latent
natural abilities to supercharge your progress and improve performance
4 Brain Hacks
in all areas. The hacks were created specifically to take advantage of your
brain’s executive functioning skill set and teach you how to strengthen it
along the way. As you read through this book and practice the strategies,
keep an eye out for the hacks, because they hold the key to long-lasting,
sustainable change.
Maybe you’ve been rushing through your day-to-day life, feeling
overscheduled, under-rested, and as if goal setting and long-term plan-
ning are just more than you can manage. By harnessing the power of your
executive functioning, you’ll improve your efficiency, effectiveness, and
stress management, putting things like financial planning, fitness goals,
and higher education within reach.
This book isn’t meant to be one you read through, feel briefly inspired
by, and then put on a shelf. This is a book for you to use—pretty much
anytime you have a problem that needs solving. That’s the magic of your
executive functioning: It plays a role in basically all the important skills
essential to adult life.
Keep this book in your car, on your nightstand, or in your bag as a
reference and handy how-to guide to consult whenever you need it. If
you went on a hiking expedition through unfamiliar territory, you’d want
a map of the area to point the way and alert you to any dangerous ter-
rain that lay ahead. This book is that map—only it’s for your whole life
instead of a single hiking trip. When you find yourself lost, pick it up and
discover a new brain hack to help you navigate the landscape. Life is full
of unexpected challenges and rapidly changing conditions, so keep this
book close at hand. Learning to be the boss of your brain is an ongoing
process.
An important tip for getting the most out of this book is to remem-
ber that a small effort repeated many times adds up to big results. As
you read through the activities, choose one to practice. Set a timer and
do that activity for five minutes. If you do that every day, those five min-
utes will add up to noticeable improvements. The recipe for advancing
executive functioning is a lot of work over a lot of time. Consistency
is essential.

Executive Functions:
The Five Core Skills
If you have found yourself failing to meet your personal or professional
goals, struggling to get your life or parts of it organized, or working hard
but feeling frustrated by what feels like slow progress, the good news
is that the main executive functions—stuff your brain is already wired
to do—can have you covered in all those areas. All you need to do is
strengthen them.
There is no single way to define or categorize the executive func-
tions—different researchers have various ways of describing them. For
our purposes, we are going to divide the executive functions into five
main components. Each component can be targeted and improved with
the specific exercises and techniques offered in this book. If you apply the
functions regularly and practice these techniques in your everyday life,
you’ll make faster progress toward your goals and be better equipped to
face challenges big and small.
Let’s start with a quick overview of the five main executive functions
and how they look when they are in good working order.
1 Focus & Attention: This executive function allows us to

follow conversations and instructions, see a project through
to completion, remember what we were about to do, and
more. These are fundamental skills that allow us to take on
and complete any task, whether it’s a small daily chore or a
life-changing goal.
2 Planning & Organization: This executive function ensures that

we arrive at appointments on time with the right documents in
hand, keep our workspaces and living spaces orderly, and plan
time with friends and family—and follow through on those
plans without too many hitches. Strong planning and organiza-
tional skills give us a head start and help make life run smoothly.
6 Brain Hacks
3 Cognitive Flexibility: This executive function helps us
transition from one thing to the next, whether that’s from
work to home or from math problems to English essays. It’s
the part of us that likes to try new restaurants and dishes, is
okay when plans spontaneously change, and likes surprises.
Cognitive flexibility allows us to adapt to change and be quick
on our feet.
4 Emotional Regulation: This executive function helps us thrive

in our personal and professional relationships. It allows us to
put our feelings in context and refrain from emotional out-
bursts, and it keeps the intensity of our feelings in check. When
we’re regulating our emotions well, we don’t have to waste time
worrying that we spoke too hastily or hurt someone’s feelings
in the heat of the moment. When we manage our emotions, our
other executive functions can work optimally and we can reach
our full potential.
5 Impulse Control: This executive function helps us look before

we leap. It allows us to put something stimulating aside when
there are more important matters at hand. Good impulse control
also means we respect boundaries and rules, while understand-
ing when and how to take a calculated risk. Our behavior is
thoughtful rather than mindless. This skill is a hallmark of adult
behavior.
In the next section, you’ll learn more about these skills and take assess-
ments to help identify what your executive “style” is—that is, which func-
tions you excel at and which present the greatest challenge for you.
Once you know your style, you can personalize your plan for tack-
ling these challenges by turning to the specific tools that will net you the
biggest results. For example, if you find it easy to transition from one
setting or task to another but have difficulty staying engaged in the task

at hand, save cognitive flexibility for later and devote your time to focus
and attention.
Targeting even one area of executive functioning will have a positive
impact on all the other areas. For example, in my psychology practice,
I've observed that problems with emotional regulation (emotional dys-
regulation) typically go hand in hand with problems staying organized
(disorganization). I once gave a talk to professional organizers, and one of
the organizers shared the story of a client who had one room in her house
so packed with stuff that it was unusable. The room had belonged to her
son, who had moved away. The mess in the room represented her grief
over no longer being a full-time parent. By using the room as a catchall
and putting off the cleanup, she avoided the emotional discomfort sur-
rounding her loss. She needed to work on regulating her emotions to get
the room organized.
What’s Your Executive “Style”?

In the assessments that follow, you’ll find 10 yes-or-no questions for each
of the five basic executive styles. These assessments can help you pin-
point which areas pose your greatest challenges. However, because the
executive functions are interrelated, you’ll benefit most from eventually
addressing all of the five core skills sets.
For each assessment, use a journal or notebook to keep track of your
answers. Add up the yeses to get your score for each executive function,
and rank each skill set from one to five based on those scores. So, the skill
in which you scored highest would be ranked number one (most likely to
be causing you problems), and the skill in which you scored lowest would
be ranked number five (least likely to be the source of your challenges). If
you got the same score on multiple assessments, place them in order of
which skill you want to tackle first. This ranking will be your personalized
roadmap as you make your way through this book.
8 Brain Hacks
People vary greatly in their cognitive strengths and weaknesses, so
don’t be overly concerned by your scores. Some people may score high
in all the areas, and others may show greater variability in their skills. If
you score higher than five across the board, do the exercises in this book,
but also consider finding an additional support system to help you meet
your personal goals even faster. This can be a therapist, an ADHD coach,
or even a professional organizer. A quick online search can let you know
what resources are available in your area. Now, on to the assessments.
Grab your notebook and a pen, and answer the following questions.
Attention & Focus

Problems with attention come in different forms, depending on the
person. It can be caused by not knowing what to pay attention to or
not being able to pay attention long enough to complete a task or com-
prehend instructions. One impact of impaired attention is that it can
cause you to take two or even three times longer to complete a job,
because you didn’t absorb the instructions the first time around or
because your attention wanders while you’re working. This may result
in poor performance reviews at work, because it can appear as though
you’re not doing your job, when in fact the underlying problem is that
you need to read an e-mail or document multiple times to retain the
information.
Problems with focus may mean that tasks requiring a good mem-
ory—say, those involving a long sequence of steps—are often challeng-
ing in ways that others don’t understand. For example, a simple task like
copying a document requires you to remember the proper sequence of
steps: Do you need to load more printer paper? Does the document go
in faceup or facedown? Do the settings need to be changed? If so what
should they be? Clearly, the ability to pay attention and focus on the task
at hand is a critical part of success.
The following assessment will help you rate how you are doing in this
area of executive functioning.

Attention & Focus Assessment
1 Does your partner or another significant person in your life com-

plain that you don’t listen to them?
2 Do you depend on frequent rewards to stay focused on and com-

plete a project?
3 Do you rely on others to direct you and keep you focused when you
are performing difficult tasks?
4 Do you use substances like coffee, energy drinks, or nicotine to help

you get your work done?
5 Have you been in a relatively high number of car accidents or near

misses because you weren’t paying attention?
6 Do you engage in dangerous, adrenaline-pumping activities to help

you focus clearly?
7 At work, do you find yourself surfing the Internet or shopping online,

or do you wear headphones to drown out your surroundings?
8 Do people in your environment complain that you are distracting

them while they are trying to stay on task, or that you’re not paying
attention to what’s going on?
9 When you are in groups, do people complain that you are derailing
the discussions by bringing up irrelevant material?
10 Do you find yourself not contributing to meetings because you don’t

hear or fully comprehend what others are saying, or because you
are afraid someone has already covered what you are thinking?
Organization & Planning

Problems with organization create stress at home and in the workplace.
A person who struggles with organization at work may lose important
documents, be unable to complete projects, and create problems that
10 Brain Hacks

cause their colleagues to lose respect for them. The more clutter you have
on your desk, the longer and more complicated any task will be, which
will decrease your productivity. In your personal life, failures of planning
and organization can lead to crises like missed flights, unpaid bills, legal
problems, and even failed relationships.
If you really struggle with organization, you may have to rely on oth-
ers to help structure your life, which can lead to resentment from fam-
ily and colleagues. Others may get angry and criticize you for relying on
them too much, leaving you with feelings of unhappiness and self-doubt.
These unpleasant emotions even further impair your attention, organiza-
tion, and planning skills.
Organization & Planning Assessment
1 Do you have multiple calendars, schedulers, and apps to manage

your time, yet use none of them consistently?
2 Do you miss out on opportunities because you forget to follow up

or track important contacts you have made?
3 Do you have a hard time operating technology that requires follow-

ing a set of instructions?
4 Do you have difficulty completing household tasks that require

a sequence of steps, such as sorting the laundry, loading the
washer, putting in the soap, transferring clean clothes to the dryer,
putting in the next load, folding the dry laundry, and putting the
clothes away?
5 Do you lose important documents and have a hard time remember-

ing to renew important licenses and finish related paperwork?
6 Do you spend a lot of money on late fees for parking tickets, library
books, and bills?

7 Do you still have old phones and charging devices or other outdated
technology that create clutter that interferes with being able to find
items you actually use?
8 Does packing for a trip stress you out because you aren’t sure
what and/or how much to pack and you worry that you will forget
something?
9 Do your friends and family complain that your space—and maybe

your behavior, too—is sloppy?
10 Have you ever accidentally thrown out an important check, docu-

ment, or personal item in an impulsive effort to get rid of a mess
quickly?
Cognitive Flexibility
Adapting to any new environment or task requires cognitive flexibility. It’s
the ability to quickly change the way we’re thinking and behaving in response
to the changes that happen around us. For example, the transition from high
school to college requires different skills and behaviors for success; the same
is true for the transition from college to a full-time job. A great deal of cogni-
tive flexibility is required to make those transitions successfully.
I often work with clients who struggle with these transitions, and it’s
usually because they’re applying the skills and habits that worked in the
old environment to a completely different setting. Many old rules won’t
apply in the new situation. For example, to be a good student you have to
be a good studier—you read information, then prove you have absorbed
it on a test or in a paper. On the other hand, to succeed in a work setting,
you often need to be a good problem solver. To excel in many industries
today, you have to be creative and innovative, not just good at absorbing
and retaining information.
Of course, transitions happen on the day-to-day level, too, like going
from measuring ingredients for dinner to reading instructions for put-
ting together your new desk while you are waiting for the casserole
to bake.
12 Brain Hacks

Cognitive Flexibility Assessment
1 When other people give you feedback for improvements or changes,

do you usually push back or find roadblocks to their suggestions?
2 Do you frequently argue with the people you live with when you get
home from work because you can’t transition out of “work mode”?
3 Do you have a hard time interacting with others in a way that

doesn’t relate to your work life? For example, do you often “talk
shop” when you are socializing?
4 Do you get poor performance reviews at work for not being able to
manage multiple projects, even though you get high ratings for the
work you do complete?
5 Do you often resist introducing change into your personal life and
work settings? For example, do you feel that new tools and technol-
ogies will only make your life more difficult?
6 If you work in a setting where many requests are made of you or

you have to respond to shifting situations as they arise—such as
a medical setting, service industry, or sales job—do you often get
complaints that you aren’t fast or responsive enough?
7 Do you get angry with people for interrupting tasks you are engaged in?
8 Do you find yourself getting frustrated, depressed, angry, and/or sad

when new people come into a social or work-related group and/or
familiar people leave?
9 If a friend cancels plans for the day, would you rather do nothing
than find someone else to make plans with?
10 Do people complain that you tend to minimize other people’s ideas

and contributions in an effort to get your way?

Emotional Regulation
Think of emotional regulation like an angel sitting on your shoulder. The angel
represents executive control and the ability to act for the common good. You
need that angel to balance out the little devil that’s always on the other shoul-
der, in the form of irrational passions, counterproductive urges, and intense
cravings. When emotional regulation is working well, the angel wins out.
Problems with emotional regulation can put a strain on your relation-
ships, as they can result in outbursts of anger or waves of sadness you feel
you can’t quite control. If you lose control of your anger at work, you could
face disciplinary action or even be let go. Uncontrolled bouts of anxiety or
depression can likewise derail career success and relationships. Keep in
mind that depression may be a clinical disorder that requires professional
assistance; however, feeling depressed can also result from not being able
to manage everyday life or experiences of loss, disappointment, failure,
or sadness. An inability to regulate powerful emotions can also contrib-
ute to addictions to things like drugs, alcohol, porn, shopping, gambling,
and video games, as these addictive substances and activities can be used
as attempts to regulate our feelings.
Clearly, the ability to consistently and reliably regulate our emotions
helps us navigate life’s unavoidable problems, disappointments, and
other stressors. Fortunately, emotional regulation is a skill that can be
cultivated. When you break it down, emotional regulation involves learn-
ing to identify what you’re feeling, allowing the feeling to emerge—and,
most critically, waiting for the feeling to subside, which it inevitably will.
The more we learn to use our executive function to manage our emotions,
the less likely we’ll be to show our temper, blurt out things we’ll regret, or
turn to mood-altering substances that lead to the risk of addiction.
Problems with emotional regulation will affect how well you do in all
the other main areas of executive function. A person who is flooded with
strong emotions won’t be able to pay attention, plan, or remember things
very accurately. Because they don’t know how to let feelings subside, they
may struggle with things like transitions and flexibility.
14 Brain Hacks

Emotional Regulation Assessment
1 Do you ruminate about friends and family members who hurt your
feelings, and do you hold on to resentment for weeks?
2 If someone criticizes you, do you act out with anger and/or think
about ways to retaliate?
3 Have you often been told you are too sensitive?
4 If you have a conflict with a friend, do you imagine worst-case sce-

narios and become anxious that they will end the friendship, even
if it was a small matter?
5 If you don’t do as well as you expected on a test or performance

review, do you start feeling worthless and depressed?
6 If a friendship ends, do you find it difficult to believe you’ll develop

new friendships with others?
7 Have others described you as a “yeller” or “screamer”?
8 Do you use drugs or alcohol to calm down after a stressful day?
9 Do you feel that you overreact to events (that is, your reaction is
greater than what a situation calls for), and/or have you been told
that you overreact?
10 Are you a people pleaser who is afraid to say no to unreasonable

requests because you are afraid of rejection?
Impulse Control
Impulse control is the ability to not do something as soon as you feel you
want to do it—in other words, to pause before taking action. Impulsivity
is action unmediated by thought; it is an automatic response or indica-
tion of mindlessness. Much of addiction is driven by impulsivity. For
example, upon getting home from work, a person may go straight to the
refrigerator for a beer or vape a few hits of marijuana, failing to consider

that they need to pick someone up in 15 minutes or that they have an
important household decision to make that evening.
While there are many everyday examples of moving forward on an
urge without considering the consequences, like making an on-the-spot
purchase of an unnecessary new gadget or engaging in some fun activ-
ity at the cost of meeting a deadline, poor impulse control can also lead
to dangerous behaviors like unprotected sex with multiple partners or
jumping off a cruise ship in port. Impulsivity can damage relationships
due to blurting out hurtful comments or alienating friends and family
with a pattern of unpredictable, risky behaviors.
Impulse Control Assessment
1 Do you often regret risky behaviors that seemed fun at the time but
that you know will have serious or unwanted consequences?
2 Do you feel you cannot control saying what’s on your mind, some-
times resulting in angry outbursts or sharing personal information?
3 Do you find your relationships on shaky ground because you said

something without thinking about the impact your words would
have on someone?
4 Have you been in legal trouble for car accidents, tax fraud, or other
risky behaviors?
5 Do you struggle with debt because you buy things you don’t need
and/or can't afford on the spur of the moment?
6 Do you indulge in daring activities despite the consequences of

getting caught, such as possessing drugs, using the services of sex
workers, or driving recklessly?
16 Brain Hacks

7 When you have an important deadline, do you find yourself accept-
ing invitations and/or starting other activities anyway, knowing that
these things will interfere with your ability to finish your project?
8 Do you skip out on commitments with people if something more fun

or interesting comes up?
9 Have you ever scheduled a trip to get out of town to avoid a commit-
ment you didn’t feel like keeping?
10 Have you ever made a poor business decision because someone

made you an offer that was too good to be true?
Why You Should Strengthen Your

“Executive Set”
Now that you have some idea of your strengths and weaknesses, you have
a decision to make. Do you want to strengthen your executive skill set?
There’s a good chance you do—otherwise, you wouldn’t have read this far.
Strengthening your executive functioning will help you be more produc-
tive personally and professionally and find more balance and fulfillment
in your relationships and day-to-day life. All it takes is practice.
In the same way doing more reps of weight training at the gym builds
bigger muscles, spending more time on a set of exercises and doing more
repetitions will strengthen your executive functions. In this case, the
“muscle” you’ll be building is your brain. By training it, you increase your
strength in the vital cognitive skills you need to navigate daily life and
meet challenges head-on.

Your Plastic Brain
Training your brain might sound like a tall order, but it’s simpler than
you might think—after all, the brain is built to learn. The recent sci-
entific discovery of neuroplasticity changed everything about how
we understand learning, habits, and the way our brains function.
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change throughout a person’s
life. This means we can actually change our brain structure through
what we do and the behaviors we practice.
Thirty years ago, neuroscientists believed that the brain developed
during childhood and its structure and capacity were set early in life. We
now know that this isn’t the case. For one thing, the prefrontal cortex,
which is where most of our advanced thinking goes on, is still developing
into our twenties. This has far-reaching implications for our understanding
of cognitive development. Car rental companies knew the magic power of
the age of 25 long before this discovery and used it as the age requirement
to rent a car, likely based on statistical analyses of financial risk.
Researchers have suggested that risk- and sensation-seeking
behaviors during the teen years can be caused by the delay between
the early development of the emotional brain and the later develop-
ment of executive functioning in the prefrontal cortex, which matures
at age 25. The amygdala, which directs social-emotional processing,
develops during puberty, which leaves several years’ gap until the cog-
nitive controls catch up in the mid-twenties.
One of the most promising developments in the field of psycho
therapy to bridge this gap is psychologist Carol Dweck’s work on
mind-set. The basic premise is that if kids are taught that their intel-
ligence and capabilities are not fixed and can expand with hard work,
they will be more productive and motivated in life. But we don’t have to
be children to take advantage of this. We can all benefit from reminding
ourselves that the more we try to learn something new, the smarter we
will be. What’s more, research has shown that the more stimulating an
environment is, the bigger and stronger the connections between nerve
cells in the brain will be. Adopting the practices in this book, which will
surely stimulate your brain, will not only change what you do, but can
also change the structure of your brain with enough practice.
18 Brain Hacks

Getting Your Executive Skills in Shape
The first time I went to a cardio kickboxing class, I left halfway through.
All the moves were new to me, and they changed before I could figure
the last one out. Even though that first class wasn’t a rousing success, I
kept going back. Sure, I looked foolish and uncoordinated the first several
times I went. But over time, I increased my ability to follow the compli-
cated, ever-changing sequences of moves and steps, and with practice,
my performance—and my confidence—improved dramatically. So, too,
with your brain. Practice and persistence are key.
As you practice these skills, keep an eye out for progress. You can be
your own coach as you work your way through this program. Practice is
important, but so is rewarding yourself for a job well done. Try to notice
any small steps forward. I’m still not a cardio-kickboxing master, but I
noticed I was able to follow the sequences after a few classes, and this
motivated me to keep trying. Simply noticing the improvement from one
class to the next felt rewarding.
So throughout the process, ask yourself, “How far have I come since I
started reading this book?” Look for small improvements, and when you
notice them, pat yourself on the back for making progress, and celebrate
your achievements. With that said, don’t compare yourself to how others
around you are doing. If I compared myself to the kickboxing instructor,
I would have become discouraged very quickly. Compare where you are
now to where you were then.
Ready to Start?
One of the best ways to increase attention and goal-directed activity is to
discover your “jet stream”—your unique gifts and talents that help propel
you forward. If you apply these tools in areas you’re already excited about,
you won’t have to overcome resistance, because you’re motivated by the
tasks themselves. Focusing the upcoming techniques on something you
already love to do will unleash motivation to learn these tools quickly and
practice them rigorously.

As you’re reading this book and practicing the strategies, be sure to
have a notebook or journal on hand to do the exercises, record your prog-
ress, and write down your impressions of the work you do. Respond to
questions like:
How did I feel about the exercises I tried today or this week?
Were they fun or routine? Easy or hard?
What short- or long-term goals am I moving toward?
Which goals do I feel most passionate about, and why are they
important to me?
Focusing on the things you care about most will make your new prac-
tices a lot more engaging. If you start out thinking, “Well, I’d better do
this exercise so I can finally sort through my e-mails,” you likely won’t
enjoy the process very much. A clear inbox is a great practical goal, but
it isn’t as motivating as doing something you truly enjoy, like a hobby or
recreational activity.
So, as you do this work, try to connect the skills you’re building with
the things that mean the most to you personally. If you love making jew-
elry and have always wanted to build a side gig selling it, remind yourself
that strengthening the executive functions of focus, attention, planning,
and organization will help you get that business off the ground. And your
clean inbox will just be the icing on the cake.
20 Brain Hacks

Takeaways
The five main skill sets of executive functioning are attention
and focus, planning and organization, cognitive flexibility, emo-
tional regulation, and impulse control.
These five core areas are interconnected, so making improve-
ments in one area will give the other skills a boost, too.
Small, repeated efforts over time lead to big results.
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change throughout a
person’s life, so nothing about your brain is set in stone; you can
change your brain structure by engaging in certain activities.
You can use goals that motivate you to overcome any resistance
to improving your skills through regular practice.

Chapter Two
Attention &
Focus
If you’re awake, you’re paying attention to
something. At any given time, the question is
whether you’re paying attention to what you’re
supposed to be paying attention to. You’d be
surprised how often the answer is no. Think
about your average day. If you’re in a meeting,
are you following the conversation, or are you
thinking about the argument you had with
your partner that morning? Or what you’ll have
for lunch? Or that e-mail you forgot to answer?
Strengthening your ability to focus means that
you have disciplined your attention to stay
where you put it, whether that’s on a work task,
a personal conversation, or an article you’re
reading.
Think of your attention as a spotlight that you can move around at
will. Whatever you point the spotlight at is illuminated by your attention
and brought into sharper focus. The more interested you are in some-
thing, the easier it is to focus your attention on it—and keep it there.
But things like routine tasks, work assignments, or long and compli-
cated conversations can tax our ability to stay focused on what’s right in
front of us.
There’s another, rather unexpected thing that can interfere with our
ability to focus, and it’s something we all face every day: stress. Stress,
anxiety, and the uncomfortable feelings they cause fight for our attention
24 Brain Hacks

with the other things going on around us—and they often win. The more
anxiety or stress you’re experiencing, the less attention you have left to
pay to other things. Since anxiety and stress interfere so much with atten-
tion, two of the most powerful methods you can use to increase attention
and focus are practicing stress management and relaxation techniques,
which are covered in this chapter.
In addition to being able to direct and sustain your attention, you’ll
need to learn how to avoid distractions. Imagine a puppy who wants to
explore every room of its new home, climb on every chair, and chew on
every shoe. The puppy needs to be trained, and gates need to be set up to
prevent the puppy from running amok. So, too, with your mind. In this
metaphor, your executive functioning is the dog trainer and your atten-
tion is the puppy. The truth is, we all need to put in some time to learn to
discipline our minds to be calm and well-behaved.
In this chapter, you’ll find brain hacks and exercises to increase your
attention and focus. In addition to good self-care (that is, getting enough
sleep, proper nutrition, and regular exercise), this chapter will jump-start
your ability to put your attention where you want it—and keep it there.
Your Working Memory

Working memory is a type of short-term memory that allows you to
recall information you’ve recently heard or seen and retain whatever
information you need to execute the immediate task at hand. If your
partner asks you to get shredded cheddar cheese and taco sauce as you
head out to the grocery store, your working memory is what helps you
come home with the requested ingredients, instead of pasta sauce and
Parmesan.
Research has shown that memory, focus, and concentration are
increased by exercise and impaired by stress. Our first two brain hacks
and their accompanying exercises focus on physical movement and
stress management.
Attention & Focus 25

BRAIN
HACK Get Moving
A powerful way to enhance your direct attention is through physical
activity. Research suggests there are immediate benefits to even just 10 to
15 minutes of moderate exercise. One study showed that 10 minutes of
bouncing a ball improved the attention span of teenagers, and another
study showed that students who exercised for 20 minutes had a higher
attention span. John J. Ratey, MD, the author of Spark and other books,
said in his TEDx Talk that exercise essentially has the same effect on the
brain as a little bit of Ritalin and a little bit of Prozac: It both increases
attention and improves mood.
exercise
10-MINUTE MOVES
A few times a day, schedule 10-minute “movement sessions.” As you just
learned, even bouncing a ball can improve attention, so it doesn’t have to
be anything complicated. Here are three simple methods:
1 Choose a destination five minutes away and walk there and back.
For example, it might take you five minutes to walk to the lobby
from your office. Go there and back, and you’ve boosted your brain.
2 Use a standing desk at work or when doing hobbies. Research has

shown that the use of a standing desk increases selective attention
and cognitive control.
3 Get some light hand weights and do a simple 10-minute rou-

tine. You can do this right at your desk or sitting at your kitchen
table. Since this activity is meant to increase attention, you don’t
have to worry about building muscle; the goal here is just healthy
movement.
26 Brain Hacks

BRAIN
HACK Manage Stress
While a little bit of stress can focus our brains, too much stress is dis-
tracting and diminishes attention. Imagine you’re a caveman hunting a
lion. When you lunge at the lion, it snaps your spear in half. You are now
unarmed in the presence of a 500-pound beast with razor-sharp teeth.
Your body produces adrenaline to help you quickly choose between fight
and flight.
In the case of the lion, stress facilitates quick thinking and rapid
response in the face of a threat. But the truth is, in modern life, most of
us don’t face physical danger very often. When we get anxious in non-
threatening situations like making a presentation at work, we get that
same adrenaline surge, which actually impairs our ability to focus over
the longer term. For example, a data engineer at a computer company
fights server crashes instead of lions. If she’s constantly worrying about
a server crashing, she won’t be able to focus on other tasks that also need
attention, like preparing for a 2 p.m. meeting. Learning to manage that
daily stress and put worries in their proper place—she knows she can
address server crashes, after all—frees up attention so she can focus on
more immediate concerns.
Stress management directly improves your attention and focus,
which strengthens overall executive function. Stress-management tools
like mindfulness practices and guided meditations have gone main-
stream, and there are now plenty of books and apps to enable us to learn
these helpful strategies. Simply being aware of your breath is a good
place to start.
exercise
BELLY BREATHING
If you only remember one thing about stress management, remem-
ber this: The quickest way to reduce your stress level is through your
breath. Change how you breathe to change how you feel. Specifically,
“belly breathing,” or taking deep, diaphragmatic breaths that cause your
belly to rise and fall, has an immediate soothing effect on your nervous

system. You can start by practicing once a day, and then build up slowly.
Here are three fun ways to learn belly breathing:
Pretend that you are going to blow out birthday candles. Inhale
deeply, then blow out the “candles.”
Make some noise. Inhale deeply, and, as you exhale through

your mouth, make a sound like a spooky ghost or wind blowing
through a tree.
Get your hands on a pinwheel. Remember how much fun you had
blowing on them as a kid? Inhale deeply, and, on your outbreath, see
how fast you can get it to spin.
tip
There’s an App for That
You’re probably familiar with the cliché of the wise, old person living
on top of a mountain that seekers need to climb to find spiritual
enlightenment. These days, we only have to travel as far as our
smartphones. Today’s technology has unleashed convenient access
to spiritual practices, including the following top-three meditation
and mindfulness apps that I recommend to clients:
• Calm: Meditation and Sleep Stories

• Moodnotes: Thought Journal, Mood Diary
• Headspace: Meditation and Mindfulness Made Simple
Sustaining Attention
Earlier, I used the metaphor of a spotlight to explain how we direct
our attention to focus on something. Let’s take that metaphor further.
Sustained attention is the battery life of that spotlight. How much bat-
tery life you have available for something depends in large part on how
much the thing interests you. It doesn’t take an expert to notice that we
pay more attention to things we’re already interested in. In fact, when
you’re interested in something, you are also charging the battery life on
your spotlight.
28 Brain Hacks

The next two brain hacks and exercises will help you discover your natu-
ral interests and identify your goals to keep your attention battery charged.
BRAIN
HACK Fly with Your Jet Stream
A jet stream is a fast-flowing air current. It takes a plane where it’s going
faster and with less effort, saving on the cost of fuel. If you’re flying with
a jet stream, you speed up. If you fly against it, it slows you down. Your
interest is a jet stream that boosts your attention.
Someone who is working with the flow of their jet stream will achieve
their goals more quickly and with less “fuel” (effort) than someone who
isn’t. Someone who’s outside their jet stream might have to work twice
as hard just to catch up. Do you know what your jet stream is? If not, it’s
time to find out. When you do, you can ride it toward your goals.
exercise
CAREER BRAINSTORMING
If you are already established in your career or a job, you are probably
thinking, “It’s too late for this.” However, as reported by Forbes, the aver-
age worker in the United States stays in any one job for only 4.4 years,
according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. So, unless you’re nearing
retirement age, you’re likely to change jobs at some point. And when you
do, wouldn’t it be great to find a job that truly aligns with your talents and
passions—to get on your jet stream and really fly? Let’s take the first step
now. In your journal or notebook, respond to these prompts:
What would you consider an ideal new job or side hustle? Be very spe-
cific. For example, instead of saying, “I want to be a life coach,” or “I want
to be parenting coach,” specifically target what this means: “I want to
be a coach to parents with teens who are struggling with depression.”
Would your new job or side business surprise your friends and
family? Sometimes other people’s expectations create unnecessary
boundaries for us.

Can you get comfortable with saying no to employment opportuni-
ties you feel you should take but don’t really want to? What would
you say to yourself if you were giving yourself permission to say no?
Maybe it seems like working in the family business is the easier
path, but it would be a dead end for your jet stream.
What is the one question you want to ask someone who is doing
what you want to do? When you’ve completed this exercise, send
that person an e-mail with that one question without requiring a lot
of their time. If you don’t know who to ask, network to find people
who know people who can answer your question.
What are the obstacles you might face as you set out for your ideal
job or side business? Predicting obstacles will help you prepare for
them so you won’t be surprised when you encounter them.
How will you overcome the obstacles you just listed? Start planning
now before you encounter them. Be prepared to keep going even
when you meet with rejection.
Create a list of 10 actions you can take to be in an ideal job or start

a new business that you’re passionate about. Take the first action
on your list as soon as you can, and keep going step by step.
BRAIN
HACK Set Goals & Take Steps
You can sustain your attention by staying in touch with your goals. It’s
important to check in periodically to remind yourself why you’re doing
what you’re doing, especially if the “what” is unexciting and doesn’t fall
naturally within your jet stream.
Goal setting is the quickest way to focus and sustain your attention,
whether you’re in your jet stream or not. If attention is the spotlight and
sustained attention is the battery life, goal setting is choosing what you
want to illuminate with the spotlight. For example, say you need to take a
class on accounting to get to your long-term goal of starting a new busi-
ness you’re excited about. But unfortunately, accounting isn’t something
30 Brain Hacks

you find at all interesting. Keeping your long-term goal in mind can help
you stay focused on the accounting class, even though it’s not your a nat-
ural fit for you.
“New Year’s Day” is a basic strategy I use with clients to help them
keep their end goal in mind and sustain focus.
exercise
YOUR WEEKLY “NEW YEAR’S DAY”
Following through on our New Year’s Day resolutions requires that we do
more than just think about them on January 1st. To maintain our momen-
tum, we have to keep our resolutions constantly in mind. In this exercise,
you’ll block a one-hour window on your calendar (a calendar app is ideal)
each week. On the day and time selected, write “New Year’s Day.” Set a
reminder for an hour before so you can prepare. If you don’t have an app,
write it in on a wall or desk calendar you see every day.
When the designated hour rolls around, spend it reviewing your res-
olutions (your long-term goals for the year). In your journal or notebook,
jot down at least one action step you can take that week to achieve your
goal. Then, using the same calendar, schedule a day and time for when
you’ll actually take the step or steps. Within a few weeks, you’ll have
made real progress.
tip
Set Your Five-Year Goal
In addition to setting your goals for the year, think about where
you want to be five years from now. An excellent resource for
setting five-year goals is the book 5: Where Will You Be Five Years
from Today?, by Dan Zadra and Kristel Wills. The authors sug-
gest setting goals in 12 areas of your life: family, career, health,
finance, education, recreation, charity, adventure, travel, romance,
relationships, and spirituality. Whatever goals you choose, be sure
they align with your personal values so you’ll be motivated to work
toward them.

BRAIN
HACK Reward Yourself
Using rewards is one of the most effective methods for focusing your
attention on your goals. To use rewards in an ongoing way, you have to
be sure to pick effective ways to reinforce your determination that won’t
conflict with other goals. For example, let’s say each week you have a
report you have to fill out for your supervisor documenting your progress
on your projects. You have a difficult time because it requires reviewing
your week and completing tiresome documentation. Some of my clients
have found that they can knock these most difficult tasks off their lists by
rewarding themselves with a Frappuccino at their favorite coffee shop.
The problem with this is that if they did this for every tiresome task, it
would be quite expensive and not very healthy.
With a little bit of strategy, you can come up with ways to reward
yourself that are meaningful to you and will sustain your motivation over
the long term.
exercise
MAXIMIZE REWARDS
In your journal or notebook, brainstorm all the rewards you can give
yourself for your everyday accomplishments. Think of multiple types of
rewards, varying from big (lunch at your favorite café) to small (a walk
around a nearby park). Here are a few ideas to help you create this list:
Use a concrete reward for the most difficult or unpleasant tasks.

This can be something like a (nonfat) latte or a bunch of flowers
from your local florist.
Allow yourself a break for moderate and low-level tasks. Set timed
intervals, and reward yourself by switching temporarily to an activ-
ity you like or taking a walk around the block.
Include some “goofing off” rewards, too. For example, if you work for
an hour or so on a project at home, you can watch a half-hour show on
Netflix, stream music for 20 minutes, or watch a couple of videos on the
Internet. These are free, no-calorie treats that will boost your mood.
32 Brain Hacks

BRAIN
HACK Track Your Progress
Tracking the progress you make toward goals helps sustain attention
by increasing your motivation and drive. Imagine you’re hiking up a
mountain to a cozy camping spot at the top. As you grow tired, you
start to focus on how much farther you have left to go. The distance
feels discouraging, especially to your tired feet and aching legs. Now,
imagine that instead of focusing on the distance left to cover, you
stop, turn around, and look down the path to see how far you’ve come.
The distance you’ve already covered shows you that you’ve made a lot
of progress, and that in itself is a great motivator to stay focused on
reaching the peak.
Similarly, tracking your progress toward other types of goals keeps
you revved up for the road ahead, unleashing your motivation to sustain
your focus on ongoing tasks.
exercise
PROGRESS TRACKING
In your journal or notebook, write about a project you’ve been working on,
and include the steps you have taken so far. Take a moment to appreciate
the effort you have made toward your goal. Recognize how far you have
already come.
Now, write about the challenges you encountered as you took those
steps and how you overcame them. Maybe, for instance, the project felt
overwhelming, so you broke it into smaller chunks. Maybe you tackled the
least complicated parts first, which gave you a sense of progress even in
the face of a big task. Remind yourself of what is motivating you to keep
going. Write it down.
BRAIN
HACK Deal with Distractions
One of the reasons so many of us struggle to sustain attention is that our
brains are naturally prone to distraction. Being able to switch attentional
focus quickly in response to changes in the environment is useful for

many things, but that tendency gets in our way when we need to pay sus-
tained attention to—well, anything.
One of the best ways to deal with distractions is to give yourself a
head start by eliminating as many of them as you can. One of the biggest
distractions most of us face these days is our smartphones. A study by the
global tech services company Asurion found that Americans check their
phones every 12 minutes on average, and 10 percent check their phones
an average of every 4.8 minutes over a 24-hour period. Proactively man-
aging your phone and other electronics to cut down their interruptions
is a great first step to making your brain distraction-proof. See the tip
on page 35, and remember to include your smartphone in the following
exercise.
exercise
CREATE A NOT -TO-DO LIST
A “not-to-do” list gives you a physical reminder of things that may
distract you from accomplishing your to-dos. It’s the exact opposite of a
to-do list, where you keep a running tab of what has to get done that day,
crossing things off as you accomplish them.
On a clean journal or notebook page, make your to-do list for the
day. Now, think about all the things that will keep you from accomplish-
ing those things. Think of as many as you can, and jot them down as
they come to you. Maybe you’ll include something small like checking
Facebook or something big like browsing at your favorite store. Perhaps
your not-to-dos will include taking personal calls between certain hours
of the day or getting caught up in a conversation in the break room.
Writing your not-to-do list will make you more aware when tempta-
tion arises.
As a bonus, you can reward yourself for finishing to-dos by indulging
in a not-to-do. Match up the rewards to a task based on difficulty, and
build some fun breaks into your day.
34 Brain Hacks

tip
Managing Your Devices
Do you operate your technology, or does your technology have you
on autopilot? To put yourself back in charge and minimize your
distractions, try any or all of the following:
• Put your phone on sleep mode when you need to focus on a task.
• Leave your phone in your bag, a drawer, or a different room while
working, and access it only during specified breaks.
• Turn off e-mail notifications, and set a schedule to check your
e-mails once every hour. That means you’ll be getting hour-long
chunks of focused work done with minimized distractions.
• If something does distract you, ask yourself, “Can I come back
to that when I finish what I am doing?” If so, jot it down. This
gets the distraction off your mind, and you can follow up later
without getting off track.
Giving Yourself Instructions

and Moral Support
Therapists use the fancy-sounding phrase “self-talk proficiency” to
describe getting really good at talking to yourself in ways that increase
your effectiveness. Most of us have an internal critic that, once we get
started working on a project or personal goal, fills us with self-doubt by
criticizing our every move and reminding us that we could fail.
Think of the difference between telling yourself, “I can’t handle this,”
and telling yourself, “I am calm and focused on this task.” The first comment
is typical of times we let our inner critic run away with us. The second,
more affirming statement is typical of someone who has learned how to
give themselves effective instruction and positive support. Here are a few
brain hacks for putting that inner critic in its place, giving yourself the
instructions you need to stay focused on whatever task you’re working
on, and getting over the hurdle of not wanting to start something in the
first place.

BRAIN
HACK Be Your Own Coach and Cheerleader
One of the most effective ways to support attention and focus on tasks is
to become your own coach and cheerleader. Quiet your self-criticism by
imagining that you are your own coach and cheerleader, and that your
job is to be encouraging rather than discouraging. Your inner coach can
offer specific guidance and provide instructions that will help keep you
focused on your goals. If you’re looking at a pile of papers and feel over-
whelmed, say to yourself, “Focus on completion,” or “Take the papers
in chunks of three in chronological order.” The cheerleader, meanwhile,
says, “Good thinking! You got this!” Here are a few more examples of
good self-coaching and cheerleading:
Your cheerleader: “Keep going! You can do it.”

Your coach: “Compare this task to your last successful project
and see which steps you can replicate here.”
Your cheerleader: “Stay calm. You handled a bigger project than
this last week, and you did great!”
Your coach: “Look at everything you have to get done this week
and organize it all by due date.”
Your cheerleader: “You work hard and deserve to be successful!”
Your coach: “If there’s too much on your plate, take your list
of tasks to a supervisor and see if anything can be removed or
deferred to a later date.”
tip
Turn Your Tech into a Cheerleader!
Set reminders on your smartphone to flash positive messages at
certain times of the day. You can include messages like “You can
do it!” or set questions to pop up once a day, like “Why is this goal
important to me?” Many times, the why is more important than the
how. When you realize that your goals are aligned with your core
desires and values, you will find the rocket fuel to sustain your
attention.
36 Brain Hacks

BRAIN
HACK Ask the Right Questions
Part of giving yourself good instructions is learning to predict and navi-
gate around obstacles that, if not planned for, will likely cause frustration
and loss of focus. When we feel frustrated, as we often do when a problem
or complication takes us by surprise, our first impulse is often to throw
up our hands and say, “Forget it!” At such moments, it seems easier to
switch focus to another task, rather than maintain attention on the one
that’s causing us problems. You can minimize the frustration you feel
when problems crop up by anticipating problems before they arise. All it
takes is asking the right questions before you begin a task:
What are the potential obstacles to completing this task?

What are some things I can do to get around these obstacles
if they come up?
What support do I need to overcome these obstacles if I can’t
do it alone?
BRAIN
HACK Eat the Frog
The book Eat That Frog, by Brian Tracy, is based on a Mark Twain quote:
“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will hap-
pen to you the rest of the day.” Tracy recommends identifying the task
you most dread and doing that first thing each day. The idea here is that
if you don’t get the worst task out of the way early, the dread you feel
about having to do that task will slow you down as you go about your day.
Additionally, having it behind you will make the rest of your day feel easy
by comparison, lowering your resistance to other tasks.
You probably know what you dread most about any project or activity,
so eat the frog first thing and get it out of the way to be more productive,
focused, and less stressed. Feel the pain and do it anyway—the feeling of
accomplishment will be worth it.

exercise
FOCUS ON YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS
In your journal or notebook, jot down anything that tastes like a frog to
you. It could be a daily chore, starting a project, aspects of a chore or
project, or maybe even something as simple as making your bed. Try to
identify anything that fills you with dread when you think about doing it.
This way, you are identifying all of your frogs so they won’t jump out at
you when you least expect it.
Now, jot down all the possible positive benefits of completing each
of the dreaded tasks (“frogs”) you identified. List as many of them as
you can. Then ask yourself, “How good will I feel when I’ve accomplished
this thing?”
Each time you feel resistance when faced with one of these tasks, ask
yourself that question to help you overcome the obstacle. Then as you
perform the work, focus your energy on that feeling. Experiment a bit by
noticing how you feel when you think of doing the task versus how you
feel when you think of being done with the task.
By focusing on the positive feeling of finishing something, you can
address the reality that you may never feel motivated to do certain
things. You don’t have to figure out why you have so much resistance
around certain things. There’s nothing to figure out; you just need endur-
ance and a positive attitude.
tip
Perfect Timing
Another reason to get your most dreaded chores or tasks out of the
way first thing in the morning is because that’s when your abilities
to concentrate and analyze are likely the strongest. In the book
When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, author Daniel Pink
discusses research that has shown these abilities are greater early
in the day and decline steadily. In fact, Pink writes that, compared
to the earliest part of the day, working at the latest part of the day
can impair concentration as much as a few alcoholic drinks.
38 Brain Hacks

Mixing It Up
One way to keep yourself focused is to mix up your tasks. This can mean
giving yourself breaks, changing tasks so that you stay interested, or
working in smaller chunks of time. Legend has it that Thomas Edison
would often work on one of his inventions, get bored with it, move on to
another invention, and then go back again—and he was pretty successful
and productive!
Think of mixing up your tasks like driving by yourself late at night
when you’re tired. You would probably want to listen to lively music and
change the channel until you found music that would keep you awake
and alert. So too with your daily work flow—keep yourself awake by mix-
ing it up. The next few hacks and exercises will offer some ideas to make
things interesting and keep you fresh and focused.
BRAIN
HACK Chunks and Breaks
A popular method to sustain attention is called the Pomodoro technique.
It involves working in 25-minute chunks and taking 5-minute breaks.
Many people endorse this strategy, and there are hourglasses and timers
that support this method, but you should experiment to find your own
work-to-break ratio.
For example, for some of my clients with ADHD, the ideal ratio of
work to break time is 15 minutes of work to 20 minutes of break time. You
may wonder how anyone can be productive with that ratio of chunking,
but for some people, it’s the difference between getting nothing done and
getting something done. I don’t recommend this if you don’t have a spe-
cific diagnosis, but it’s an example of being willing to experiment until
you find the strategy that works best for you. Use your creativity to create
chunking schedules that work for you.

exercise
FIND YOUR FOCUS DOSE
To find your “focus dose,” pick one of these four activities to try today, and
then write about your experience in your journal or notebook:
Choose a task and try giving it two minutes of focused attention.

For many people, just getting started is the hardest part. Once you
get started, you might decide to keep going. Otherwise, take a break
and try again for just two more minutes.
Choose a project that will take about a half hour. Start with a
15-minute dose, take a break and/or reward yourself, and then put
in the next 15 minutes. How’d you do?
Rate your tasks for the day from high resistance to low resistance.
Work in 15-minute chunks on high-resistance tasks and 30-minute
chunks on low-resistance tasks.
Choose one of your high-resistance tasks, and figure out how to

chunk it down. When your resistance is strong, you can also ask
yourself, “What is the smallest chunk I can do?”
BRAIN
HACK Take a Power Nap
A power nap is one of the top brain hacks for refreshing yourself and
restoring your attention. Sleeping during the middle of the day might
seem like it’s an obstacle to getting things done—after all, a two-hour nap
will take a big chunk out of your day. But research supports the power of a
10- to 20-minute nap to increase productivity. That’s it—just 10 to 20 min-
utes to get yourself back on track.
In Daniel Pink’s book When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, he
recommends a new twist: if you’re a coffee drinker, drink a cup of coffee
before your nap. As counterintuitive as that sounds, the caffeine will kick
in right as you wake up from your nap, giving you a double jolt—a replen-
ished mind and a caffeine boost.
40 Brain Hacks

BRAIN
HACK Take a Nature Break
Scientific research confirms that time in nature may be the ultimate brain
hack. This shows up in biophilia, the human tendency to interact or be
connected with other forms of life and nature. Because nature invites a
state of unfocus, it allows for the replenishment of direct attention.
In a 2008 study published in Psychological Science, Marc Berman and
coauthors describe their finding that time in nature was “a therapy that
had no known side effects, was readily available, and could improve your
cognitive functioning at zero cost . . . Many have suspected that nature
can promote improved cognitive functioning and overall well-being, and
these effects have recently been documented.”
It’s true: Research has shown a direct improvement on focused atten-
tion following time in natural settings, including gardens and parks.
Many of these studies have been done by cognitive psychologists who
were looking directly at exposure to nature as a way to improve atten-
tion span. Research has found that interacting with nature from afar can
have these effects, too: Just looking out a window or at pictures of nature,
including cute puppies, gives reliable boosts to attention and focus.
So, plan a nature break into your day—if you can’t get out, look out
a window or hang some beautiful photographs of the outdoors around
your workspace.
BRAIN
HACK Craft Your Mission Statement
When you take a break, you can create momentum for your task by review-
ing your personal mission statement. Don’t have one? Then it’s time to
write it. Here’s why: A mission statement gives purpose and meaning to
whatever you’re doing. It gives you an end goal and an aspiration to strive
for. As a psychologist, my personal mission statement is “Find gifts, meet
needs.” Whether I am in the consulting room, speaking, or writing, this
is how I focus my actions and content.

The benefit of a mission statement is that it allows you to know what’s
an absolute yes and what’s an absolute no. For example, in the private
space industry, SpaceX has a mission statement that culminates with the
phrase “with the ultimate goal of enabling human life on Mars,” while
Blue Origin’s mission is focused on getting payloads into orbit at low
cost. For SpaceX, getting to Mars is an absolute yes. This allows them to
focus their efforts and resources on the logistics of getting to Mars. Blue
Origin, on the other hand, can put “sending humans to Mars” on their
not-to-do list.
With all that said, when your mission statement is clear, you will not
beat yourself up for not being good enough to get to Mars. This clarity
and focus allow you to cut out what you don’t need and concentrate your
energy on what’s essential.
exercise
WRITING YOUR MISSION STATEMENT
In your journal or notebook, start brainstorming your mission statement
by responding to the following questions:
What do I believe in?
What do I stand for?
Why do I do what I do?
What do I need to follow through on to achieve my mission?
What things don’t I need to do?
Then, using your answers to the above prompts, write a clear mission
statement that gives you direction and purpose—and, best of all, keeps
you focused.
42 Brain Hacks

Takeaways
Physical movement and stress management are key to keeping
your short-term memory sharp and focused.
Find what interests you—the more interest you have in what you
are doing, the more attention you will devote to that project.
Setting goals and taking steps toward them is the quickest way
to focus and sustain your attention. Notice your progress and
use positive self-talk to increase your focus.
When you eliminate distractions, such as social media and
phone alerts, you will be better able to stay focused on the task
at hand.
Chunk your work time and take breaks to overcome resistance—
and don’t forget to eat your frogs first.

Chapter Three
Planning &
Organization
Imagine you want to go to the beach on
Saturday. It’s a relatively straightforward goal
that actually requires many steps to execute
successfully. Even these days, when a lot of our
planning can be automated by things like GPS
apps, we still have to take the time to think
through plans in advance to ensure things go
smoothly. Skipping even a seemingly minor
step in a complex plan can cause problems
down the line.
Let’s say you’ve outsourced some of your planning to your phone’s
GPS and set out secure in the knowledge that the app will guide you
there, navigate you around traffic problems, and stay on the alert
for speed traps. But when you set out, you skip the critical step of
previewing the route and don’t realize there will be a toll bridge.
You’re not carrying cash, so you’re automatically ticketed—an expen-
sive headache you could have easily avoided with just a little more
planning.
Dwight D. Eisenhower is quoted as saying, “Plans are worthless, but
planning is everything.” This means that without a plan, all our goals are
wishful thinking. Without planning, we’re unlikely to get past our first
step. However, even with a solid plan in place, circumstances can change
to prevent us from following our plan as we first conceived it. That’s
where the idea of a “plan B” came from; it’s the rare plan that gets carried
out if something changes along the way. But without that initial “plan A,”
we may not ever even get off the ground. That’s why planning and organi-
zation are so critical to daily life. Even a drive to the beach can turn into a
hassle without a plan.
46 Brain Hacks

Eisenhower himself is an apt metaphor for the role executive
functioning has in daily life. Executive function is a central point of
authority that marshals all our cognitive resources, setting goals,
anticipating probable outcomes, and planning the next steps. A mil-
itary commander oversees many possibilities and unknowns and has
to take it all into consideration to execute a successful plan. Planning
and organization go hand in hand, in the sense that planning is a form
of mental organization; it requires foresight and systematic thinking to
prepare us to successfully carry out an idea. Advanced thinking, pri-
oritization, and planning for mishaps all are part of the mental prep
work required for planning a clear path to your goal.
Have you ever looked at someone who has a quality or set of circum-
stances you want and asked yourself, “What does that person have that I
don’t?” Many times, the missing pieces are planning and organization.
It’s likely they took the necessary steps to arrive at the place from which
you are viewing them.
Planning helps you break down big goals into small, manageable
steps. One of the key elements of planning is momentum. For example,
it may feel overwhelming to set a goal to move up in your company, but
if you take that first, small step to revise your resume, you’ve started the
ball rolling. Next, with your resume in hand, you can speak with the HR
department about your career goals, and the momentum builds. This is
how a little bit of progress adds up to big results.
In addition to having a plan, your chance of success is going to be
increased by your ability to stay organized. Let’s say you need to take a
few classes to qualify for a new position in your company. You will need
to organize your course materials and keep your calendar straight so you
don’t miss any assignment due dates. You’ll need an organized place to
keep your course materials, and, if you want to find any assignments
you’ve done on your computer, you’ll need an organized desktop and fil-
ing system.
If you struggle with planning and organizing, you’ll find helpful
brain hacks, exercises, and tips throughout this chapter to strengthen
those mental skills.
Planning & Organization 47

Having the Right Tools at the Right Time
In order to execute even the best thought-out plans, you also need to have
command over your physical space at work and home, as well as your vir-
tual space, like on your computer. If you decided to build a birdhouse, the
first thing you’d need to do is find a set of instructions. Then before you
start building, you would need the correct materials and tools required.
If it took you an hour just to find a hammer and the nails, you’d lose
momentum and might give up on the birdhouse. The key factor here is
time. We all have limited time, and we cannot advance our goals if most of
our time is spent finding the tools needed to make progress. The follow-
ing two brain hacks and exercises will help you save time on your way to
building that birdhouse—or accomplishing any goal you have in mind.
BRAIN
HACK Inventory Your Stuff
The specific tools you’ll need to get a job done depends on the task—
ranging from pens, a notebook, and sticky notes for a research project
to actual tools like hammers and saws for building a table. For your tools
to be useful, you have to be able to find them when you need them. As
basic or even as silly as that may sound, you’d be surprised by how often
this most basic level of organization can trip people up. Sometimes even
figuring out which tools you’ll need to get a job done can be a challenge.
Start with an inventory of your stuff and where you can find it.
48 Brain Hacks

exercise
WHERE’S YOUR STUFF?
Do you know where your stuff is? Can you easily identify and locate the
tools you need to do your next important task or craft project? In your
journal or notebook, indicate whether each of the following statements
is true or false. For any false statements, make notes about the areas
you may need to improve. Don’t worry if more than a few are false. That’s
exactly what the brain hacks in this chapter are for.
If someone unexpectedly drops by, my home looks good enough for

company. There are plenty of uncluttered places to sit.
It is easy to find important documents that I rarely need but are

essential, such as birth certificates, diplomas, social security card,
professional documentation, and medical records.
I have a system in place for getting rid of things I no longer need and
for figuring out whether I should donate them or recycle them.
Organizing my home and office, at least on the surface, is a regular

practice, even if I only do it for a few minutes a day.
I have a place for everything I own and use containers effectively.
My car only has items in it that I need while I’m on the road.

My desk drawers, closets, and dresser drawers are straightened.
I can easily find my tools in my garage or tool bench.
My craft supplies each have their own bins and boxes.
My kitchen cabinets are organized in such a way that I can find the
kitchen tools and ingredients I need to make a meal.
BRAIN
HACK Plan to Organize
Planning to organize is your first step to getting where you want to be. This
gets your brain used to the idea that you’re moving in the direction of greater
organization. Planning to organize means figuring out the strategies you
will use to get rid of things, sort things into the right categories, contain
work-related and home-related paperwork and supplies, find appropriate
containers, and create routines to stay organized. Writing out your plan
makes it more concrete and more likely that you will stick to the plan. This
way, when it comes time to execute, all the front-end work will be done, and
the plan will come together quickly. You’ll have yourself organized in a snap.
exercise
CREATE YOUR PLAN
In your journal or notebook, create your plan to organize. Brainstorm the
strategies you will use to organize these different areas of your life. Think
of as many ideas as you can to figure out what will work best for you.
What strategy can you use for getting rid of things you no longer
need, want, or use? Maybe you will keep a box in the garage where
you will put items you plan to donate, give away, recycle, or toss.
Maybe you will weed out things on a weekly or monthly basis (see
the tip on page 52), box them up at that time, and call for pickup.
What strategy can you use to contain related objects? This can
include things like books, technology, clothing items, cleaning
supplies, and memorabilia. Perhaps you will get a new bookshelf for
50 Brain Hacks

your books or box them up. Maybe you can store your memorabilia
in an art portfolio. Your cleaning supplies can go in a bin that you
keep under the kitchen sink or in the laundry room. Any technology
you use can be kept in a basket in your living room, and any you
don’t use can go to a recycling plant.
What strategy can you use to manage and separate your

work-related paperwork and supplies from your home-related
paperwork and supplies? A filing cabinet for each might be helpful
here, but only if you’ll need the paperwork for your records or later
reference (see the tip on page 52).
What strategy can you use to organize your virtual desktop

and filing system? Perhaps you will create one folder labeled
“Professional” and another labeled “Personal.” Then within those
folders, you will have subfolders. For example, your personal folder
might have a subfolder for recipes, another for interesting articles,
and so on. If you have a number of articles you still want access to,
you can put those in a reference folder. There are also smartphone
apps—Pocket, for example—that allow you to store links to arti-
cles. Maybe you will start deleting electronic files that are no longer
of any use to you on a weekly basis or before shutting down your
computer for the day.
What strategy can you use to separate the items in your kitchen?
You can sort by items that you use frequently, such as cooking uten-
sils and serving dishes, and ones you use less frequently, like a food
processor and the “good” china. What items in your kitchen don’t
you use? That clunky juicer you bought six years ago but used only
once? Consider loaning it to someone who just got the juicing bug.
What strategy can you use to stick to the plan you create? Will you
set aside some time each week to put items in their place? Will you
put items back in their place as soon as you are finished with them?
Will you spend a half hour at the end of each day to return every-
thing that’s out to its rightful home?

tip
Weed Once a Week
Like regularly pulling weeds out of a garden, weeding your home or
office environment (as well as your virtual space) means eliminat-
ing stuff you don't need from the space, including things related to
completed tasks. This gives your new ideas and projects the space
they need to grow.
While you are weeding, you can decide what’s dispensable by
asking yourself, “Can I get rid of this for good, or will I need it later?”
If you’ll need it later, use your organizing strategy to put it in its
“home.” If you won’t need it again, use your strategy for giveaways,
trash, and recycling.
Weeding at least once a week eliminates the need to do it a
couple of times a year, when the task might seem overwhelming.
BRAIN
HACK Establish a Command Center
Command centers can help you gain easy access to your daily essentials.
These are centralized locations where you keep items you need every day.
It can make the difference between leaving the house late and in a rush
after a 30-minute search for your keys, and leaving on time feeling calm
and ready for the day.
To make a command center, designate an area in your home where
you’ll keep important mail that comes in, your keys, your purse or wallet,
a phone charger, and any materials needed for high-priority tasks. I have
an empty section of a bookshelf that I designated for this purpose. I leave
enough room so I can stack various things I’ll need in the near future. You
could also use a side table or a basket.
Some of the things you keep in your command center can and prob-
ably will change from day to day, reflecting your highest-priority tasks
for the next day or week. For example, if I get time-sensitive items like
a parking ticket, jury duty notice, or driver’s license renewal, I put them
in my command center where I’ll see them and be prompted to complete
whatever the task may be. I also keep my to-do lists there.
52 Brain Hacks

The command center is not for piling the “wish list” items that you’re
hoping to get done someday. This will quickly lead to clutter, and the
organizational value of your command center will be lost in the grow-
ing mess. Make your command center a place to keep only urgent action
items and daily essentials.
Initiating a Task
For many people, getting started—just taking that first step—can be
the hardest part of any task. Intuitively, it seems like step one of a proj-
ect should be relatively simple because the stakes are lower. However,
resistance is a powerful psychological force. Especially if the task has a
negative emotional association fueled by perfectionism (fear of not doing
everything just right), getting a job started can actually be a big hurdle.
The impulse to avoid those negative associations can cause you to
avoid the task itself, leading you to waste time and procrastinate. Part
of the solution to this common problem is to develop a different rela-
tionship with that feeling of resistance. When you find yourself having a
difficult time just getting started, simply label that feeling as resistance,
and start working anyway. The following brain hacks and exercises can
help get you going.
Since the first step can be the hardest, you need to plan for it so you’re
not derailed by the unexpected difficulty of task initiation.
BRAIN
HACK Start Small
Whether it’s applying for business schools or preparing a presenta-
tion for your biggest client, the hardest part of any task can be getting
started. Particularly if it’s a big task with lots of moving parts, finding the
momentum to get going can be tough. One secret to getting moving is to
start small by breaking the task down into smaller components or mak-
ing a short time commitment just to get the ball rolling.

When I say small, I really mean small: Think in the range of one to five
minutes. You will likely feel that you can do almost anything for two min-
utes, so why not start there? If two minutes pass and you’re still working,
re-up for another two minutes. Before you know it, the task will develop
its own momentum, and you’ll be on your way.
This is actually the prototypical “brain hack”—meaning it’s a trick you
play on your own brain to work around built-in cognitive tendencies that
can get in your way. For many people, task initiation is the hardest part
of most tasks. That means that once they get started, they will likely keep
going. For many people, two minutes will turn into 10, 20, or 30—and at
the end they find they’ve “hacked” the problem of task initiation.
BRAIN
HACK Confront Your “Tiger”
Imagine you had a tiger living in your backyard. Your chief concern
would probably be figuring out how to go about your business while
minimizing your chances of getting attacked. You’d probably study your
tiger closely so you’d know when she took a nap, when she’d want to be
fed, and when it was best to stay out of your backyard altogether. So, too,
with procrastination. Think of it as a beast that lives inside you, which, if
left untamed, can make a mess of your daily life. When you take the time
to study your procrastination and learn its habits, you’ll be better able to
avoid a dangerous run-in with your “tiger.”
exercise
YOUR PERSONAL PROCRASTINATION HABITS
Do you find other things to do when there is something more important to
be done? Do you seek comfort through food, socializing, or other distrac-
tions when you feel overwhelmed? In your journal or notebook, respond
to the following questions to start becoming aware of your personal
procrastination habits. These questions are based on a powerful pro-
crastination treatment called Motivational Enhancement, developed by
William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick.
54 Brain Hacks

What important task have you been putting off?
What are the benefits of procrastination?
What are the costs of procrastination?
What’s at stake if you don’t get this done?
What are the benefits of completing this task?
tip
Get an Accountability Partner
An accountability partner is someone you can call when you are
having trouble getting something underway. Turn to this person
when you feel resistance and start procrastinating. You can offer to
be their accountability partner, too, so it feels like a fair exchange.
You each can offer words of encouragement, give reminders of
what’s at stake if something doesn’t get done, check in on progress,
offer ideas and strategies, exchange information, help solve prob-
lems, or just sit with the other. Answering the simple question, “What
do you need to overcome this resistance?” should help you get on
track. If there’s no one you can turn to, use a visual prompt that says,
“What do you need to overcome this resistance?” and include some
resources you can turn to for help with problem solving.
BRAIN
HACK Shift Your Focus to Completion
Procrastination can be connected to limited beliefs about what you are
capable of doing. The idea that a task is too hard or the fear that you’re
not up to the challenge can be building blocks in a wall of resistance.
Or maybe you just really dislike doing a particular task. Whatever your
reasons for procrastination, a simple mind shift can help you challenge
those limiting beliefs if they exist or take your focus off the drudgery of
getting it done.
Think of something you have to complete but have been putting off.
Let’s say you work at a hospital and you’re behind on charting. When you

think about doing the charting, what do you feel? Many people will feel a
sense of dread and may automatically think of a distraction—something
else to do instead. When that happens, shift your focus. How good will
you feel when you complete the task? Will you have a sense of relief ? A
sense of accomplishment? Focusing on task completion can shift your
mood and get you back into work mode.
The brain hack here is to shift your focus from the dread of doing a
task to the good feelings of getting it done. The good feelings will moti-
vate you to get started. You may never feel like doing certain tasks, but
you can trick your brain into wanting to get them done because of the
good feelings their completion will bring.
exercise
WHAT ARE YOU AVOIDING?
The enemy of planning and organization is avoidance. Avoidance can
show up in many different guises, depending on the specific person and
the thing they’re trying to avoid. In one instance, avoidance might mean
not looking at your bank account because you’re afraid to see how much
(or how little) money you have. In another case, avoidance could mean not
keeping a calendar or tracking how you spend your time, because if you
did you’d see how much time you’re wasting on aimless distractions.
In your journal or notebook, complete the following sentence: “I am
avoiding . . .” For now, just include one thing you have been avoiding, even
if there are more.
Now, plan ways to encourage yourself to do that thing. Again, start
small. Don’t set aside a whole weekend to spend digging through five
years’ worth of bank statements. If you have a pile of unopened bank
statements, you’d write something like, “I’ll open my most recent state-
ment and spend 10 minutes reviewing it on Saturday.” Then maybe a
few days later, you can spend 10 minutes opening all the statements
and placing them in chronological order without reviewing the state-
ments themselves. A few days later, maybe you will look at the previous
month or two.
Taking on important tasks, even for small amounts of time, can yield
big results, especially when it comes to breaking an avoidance habit.
Psychologists call this strategy exposure therapy. Exposure in this case
56 Brain Hacks

is exactly what it sounds like: It simply means spending time doing the
things you’re avoiding due to fear or aversion. Over time, exposure will
actually reduce your level of resistance and help you learn that things
you’re dreading aren’t really that terrible when you actually face them.
Now, list five things you have been avoiding. It might be going to the
gym, seeing a doctor about the pain in your shoulder, taking a class to
further your education, cleaning your closet, and so on. Rank them in
order of how much you want to avoid them—with number one being the
thing you most want to avoid. This is your first step in planning your own
exposure therapy treatment.
Getting Your Priorities Straight

To plan and organize effectively, we have to break our uninterrupted
busyness long enough to get our priorities straight. We may feel so busy
that we think if we just push forward, we’ll get it all done. But that’s not
necessarily how it works. Without setting some priorities, it’s easy to lose
track of time and fail to leave enough of it to take care of the things that
really need to get done in a timely manner. This requires a pause in our
busy schedules to figure out the best sequence for handling all the tasks
demanding our attention. The following brain hack and exercises can
help prioritize your weekly goals.
BRAIN
HACK Learn to Triage
If you’ve heard the word triage before, it may have been in the context of
hospitals and medicine. But what, exactly, does it mean? Triage is basi-
cally the process of sorting out immediate tasks in order of importance
and/or urgency. If you’re a triage nurse, the sorting process could trans-
late into deciding which of the three patients who just showed up at the
ER is most urgently in need of care, and sending them for treatment in
that order.
For the rest of us who are faced with an array of tasks to complete, tri-
age can mean deciding which task to tackle first based on a clear criterion,

like a deadline. For example, if you have a project deadline that’s due in
a few days and is also high stakes because your boss told you it’s her pri-
ority, then that task would obviously take precedence over completing
paperwork that has a deadline a week later.
Sort your weekly to-do list as if the items on your list are patients in
a hospital—which ones need immediate attention, which can wait their
turn, and which aren’t in any danger of derailing your plans if they don’t
get done? This allows you to make smart decisions about which job to
tackle first. When you’ve finished your triage, you should have a clear sys-
tem for ranking the tasks on your to-do list in terms of when they’re due
and what’s at stake.
exercise
BRAIN DUMP YOUR WEEKLY TO-DOS
Every Sunday, take out your journal or notebook. Write down everything
you can think of that you need to accomplish in the following week in no
particular order. Just dump whatever pops into your brain on the page.
This can include things like completing urgent projects, scheduling
appointments, doing administrative work, following through with ambi-
tious goals, taking your dog to the vet, and calling your mom.
Once you’ve exhausted everything that comes to mind, identify the
15 highest-priority tasks that need to be done that week. Now, choose
three tasks to handle each day that week. The more urgent the task, the
earlier it should be done in the week. You might also handle the more diffi-
cult tasks with the highest stakes first so you can feel like the rest of your
tasks are comparatively easier.
Narrowing Your Focus

How do you win the battle against the many temptations and distractions
you face on a daily basis? Your distraction might be lingering at the gym
to chat for an hour instead of getting home to complete your paperwork.
It might be spending time on social media or doing an easy task rather
than working on the high-stakes project on your plate. A daily to-do list
58 Brain Hacks

keeps you focused and gives you a sense of progress as you cross the
items off it.
Although I recommended three tasks a day in the previous exercise,
you can adapt your list as needed. Until you figure out what works best
for you, you may want to try several different strategies. One such strat-
egy is to set reminders on your smartphone that will make a sound and
pop up on your screen. There are many apps that help you organize your
tasks; one that is free and available on both iOS and Android is Any.do.
Regardless of the strategy you settle on, a daily to-do list will keep you
focused and help you manage your time and prevent you from losing
track of important tasks.
You can create your task list in a live document, which may include
not only urgent items but also any tasks that get added throughout the
day, including lower-stakes chores like scheduling meetings. If you keep
an electronic list in a Word document or in a notes app, you can review
the document and add new items that come up while crossing off the
ones you’ve completed. But you can also do it the old-fashioned way,
using a pen and notepad or sticky notes. If you don’t complete everything
one day, carry the remaining items over to the next, and you’ve already
got a jump start on tomorrow’s list.
exercise
CATEGORIZE YOUR DAILY TO-DO LIST
While you’re getting used to the idea of using a to-do list, try this exercise.
Open a new Word document on your computer or do this exercise in your
journal or notebook. Later, you can customize your document based on
your own needs.
For this exercise, one main heading will be “Urgent” and another will
be “Low Pressure.” Under these headings, list the items that fall into
these categories based on deadlines and importance. You can also break
them down further into categories such as:
Phone calls you need to make
Appointments you need to make

Work-related tasks
Home-related tasks
Things you need to buy
Play around to discover the headings and categories that make the most
sense to you.
tip
“Index” Your Daily To-Dos
If you write each of your daily to-dos on an index card, you can carry
them around with you. This way, you don’t have to feel overwhelmed
by a long list. When you have completed the task, fold the index
card in half. Looking at only one item at a time creates laser focus
and puts all those other things you need to do in a silo. At the end
of the day, you can see all of the folded cards and feel a sense of
accomplishment.
Managing Your Time

Your goals matter. The more time you spend puttering on unnecessary
distractions, the more opportunities you miss. If you can’t find time to
get to that conference where you can network, because you spend so
much time on the phone being the listening ear for family and friends,
you may miss out on meaningful accomplishments.
Similarly, many people let other people’s agendas take over their own
purpose, which derails them and can make them forget their own core
goals. Small chunks of time may also go to answering e-mails as soon
as they land in your in-box and reading social-media alerts that, at the
moment, seem like no big deal. There’s no mistaking it: These things steal
your time. This theft of time leaves you feeling stressed because it seems
like there’s never enough time for you to do what you set out to. The more
rushed you feel, the more likely that your actions will be counterpro-
ductive. The next three brain hacks and exercise will help you steal your
time back.
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BRAIN
HACK Steal Your Time Back from People
There is one thing in life that you can never get back once you give it
away: your time. If you lose money, you can earn it back. If you give things
away, you can likely get more or better things. Time is the most valuable
resource we have. By limiting commitments and saying no to unreason-
able requests, you can prevent depletion of this irreplaceable resource
and increase your ability to plan and organize.
It’s difficult to say no. That’s because the enemy of your time is your
desire to be nice. You may be afraid others will judge you and think you’re
not a nice person. But every time you say yes to a commitment, you are
saying no to innumerable other possible goals you could be working
toward. None of these choices are easy. To manage your time, you have
to recognize that whenever you say yes to one thing, you are saying no
to something else. The question is whose priorities you are attending to.
Make sure they are your own the majority of the time.
BRAIN
HACK Steal Your Time Back from Media and Devices
Never before have we had access to so much information, so many enter-
tainment options, and such heightened connectivity with others through
social media. Smartphones and other technology mean that we hold the
world in the palms of our hands. We can tune in to thousands of enter-
tainment, news, and social-networking sites at any time during the day.
While technology has created countless improvements in our lives,
this ready access to so many distractions steals our time away in seemingly
innocuous ways. Contrary to popular belief, our brains aren’t really built
to multitask, so dinging phones, e-mail notifications, and countless other
ways our devices distract us cause us to lose our momentum. And some-
thing that should take a half hour to complete becomes an hour-and-a-half
project. That’s an hour of stolen time. So turn off push notifications,
place your phone on silent when you need to focus, sign out of Facebook,
check your e-mail only after you’ve completed a task, and so on.

exercise
HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR TIME?
Get a calendar that breaks down the day into hours. For one week,
track how you actually spend your time each day. This is a little like
a diet-tracking notebook. During the week, as you go about your day,
include the time you spend on each thing in this list, even if it’s just five
minutes. Those five minutes add up!
Entertainment
Exercise
Family
Hobbies
Household chores
Self-care
Shopping
Sleep
Social time
Transit
Work
Include any other relevant categories or activities that aren’t listed. At

the end of the week, review how you actually spent your time. How much
time did you spend on mindless technology, entertainment, shopping,
and chatting on the phone? If this is a lot of time—three hours or more
a day—think about what problems you could solve or goals you could
achieve if those three hours hadn’t been stolen from you. Think of all
the health and fitness, professional, and aspirational goals you could
achieve in three hours a day. Simply becoming aware of where you invest
your time puts the choice back in your hands.
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tip
Find Support to Better Manage Your Time
A great way to find more time is to gain clarity on what you are
good at and get support in weaker areas. This can keep your project
moving forward while you focus on what you can do well. Find ways
to sub out the items on your to-do list that require you to work
from your weakest point. You can find real or virtual assistants by
exploring websites such as TaskRabbit, Fivrr, and Guru. You can
also explore trading tasks with family members or friends who have
different strengths and weaknesses than you do.
BRAIN
HACK Build an Exoskeleton
To understand the power of an exoskeleton, think of Tony Stark’s Iron
Man armor. The hard, exterior structure makes him immune to things that
would normally be dangerous, like bullets and falling objects. Likewise,
your exoskeleton can make you immune to time-suckers like distractions
and poor organization and planning. It’s the external structure of plan-
ning and organizational tools you build around you for protection from
disorganization, distraction, and other unhelpful things.
As a practicing psychologist, part of my exoskeleton includes an
online tool that allows clients to schedule and cancel appointments and
provides me with dates, times, and billing details. If I had to handle this
myself, all those phone calls back and forth and paperwork would suck
my time away—time that I want to be spending with my clients.
There are plenty of time-saving organizational tools that can become
parts of your exoskeleton. Any time you invest in getting technology to
do the work for you will translate into more time available to you down
the line. Here are a couple of ideas:
Artificial-intelligence personal assistants: The use of auto-

mated personal assistants like Siri, Cortana, Google Now, and
Alexa is the most direct route to outsourcing your executive
functions. For example, you can say to Alexa, “Alexa, put ‘call
mom’ on my to-do list,” or “Alexa, add carrots to my shopping

list,” or “Alexa, remind me in an hour to get ready for my 2 p.m.
appointment.” You don’t have to rely on memory or waste any
time finding a pen and paper to write it down. Alexa does it for
you. Most artificial-intelligence personal assistants can be used
for shopping lists, to-do lists, reminders, timers, and doing cal-
culations. Interestingly, a prototype of Siri was used in military
simulations as part of the Personal Assistant that Learns (PAL)
program led by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency
(DARPA). Two teams were faced with increasing situational diffi-
culties, and the team that used the PAL far outperformed the
team without it.
Apps that turn your smartphone into a portable office:
TurboScan is a smartphone app that enables you to scan doc-
uments and receipts and save them as high-quality PDFs. You
can back up important documents and make these electronic
files your primary copies when originals aren’t needed. There
are other smartphone apps that also serve this and other useful
functions. For example, I integrate TurboScan, eFax, Google
Docs, and Dropbox in such a way that I can run a significant
chunk of my business remotely or in my office from my phone.
Once, I used TurboScan to scan a 25-page document, saved it
in Google Docs, and used eFax to fax it where it needed to go.
It took only a few minutes, and I reflected on all the time I had
saved by not having to rely on the old, sometimes frustrat-
ing, tools.
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Takeaways
Inventory your stuff so you don’t have to waste time looking for
it when you need it. A plan to organize is your best first step to
getting organized.
Establishing a “command center” in your home ensures that all
of your everyday items, like keys and phones, and important
items, like paperwork, are at hand.
When faced with a task you dread, focus on the good feelings of
completing it to overcome procrastination.
Replace the time you spend on mindless technology, entertain-
ment, shopping, and chatting on the phone with something that
takes you closer to your goals.
Time-saving tools and technology can take some weight off your
to-do list, freeing you up to take care of what you’re best at.

Chapter Four
Cognitive
Flexibility
Overview
Cognitive flexibility encompasses multiple
skills, all of which are related to our capacity to
quickly adapt our thinking to reflect changes
or complexities in our environments. It allows
us to figure out and clearly understand even
poorly defined problems and to generate sev-
eral possible solutions to a given problem. In an
ever-changing world, taking steps to improve
your cognitive flexibility is paramount, and
one of the best tools for immediately improv-
ing this executive skill is a growth mind-set.
According to the work of Stanford psychologist and author Carol
Dweck, a fixed mind-set is the belief that behavior patterns and thoughts
are essentially unchangeable characteristics. Have you made statements
like “I can’t get organized,” “I’m no good at sports,” or “I’m terrible at man-
aging my finances?” Statements like those suggest you believe qualities
like financial knowledge or organizational skills are enduring personal
characteristics that cannot be changed. That kind of thinking reflects a
fixed mind-set.
In contrast, people with a growth mind-set generally believe that,
with practice and application, they can work to change things like orga-
nizational ability, and thus grow beyond their current limitations. So
instead of saying, “I’m no good at organizing,” you’d say, “The harder I
work at organizing, the better I’ll get.” That belief in and capacity for per-
sonal change is cognitive flexibility in a nutshell.
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Whether you choose to adopt a growth mind-set or a fixed mind-set
can have a dramatic impact on your life. A growth mind-set encourages
persistence in the face of challenge, while a fixed mind-set could encour-
age you to give up. Think how many opportunities will open up to you if
instead of saying, “No, I’m just no good at that,” you say instead, “I could
learn to do that! What a great, new experience this will be.”
People who invest in their own cognitive flexibility not only create
more opportunities, but also strengthen their ability to solve problems
and change tactics midstream, which is essential to successfully navigat-
ing our complex and rapidly changing world. Like with other executive
functioning skills—or any skill, for that matter—practice is the key to
strengthening cognitive flexibility. The shortest path to being a better
problem solver is to solve more problems, which you can often do simply
by stepping up to challenges that arise in your life. The more you go out
in the real world, bump up against real problems, try to solve them, fail,
and try again, the more you are strengthening your cognitive flexibility.
You can also hone these skills with the brain hacks and exercises we’re
about to explore.
Flexible Problem-Solving
I once worked with a woman, Marie, who was living in fear about the
drastic changes and reorganization that were taking place at her place
of employment. As Marie explained to me, she had a lifelong strategy of
dealing with uncertainty by preparing herself for the worst. She believed
that if good things were going to happen, she would have to work hard
for them, and she also believed she had to work equally hard to make sure
bad things didn’t happen. She didn’t trust the ideas that something good
might just come into her life and that difficult situations would work
themselves out in her favor.
I suggested that she try switching her perspective and asked if there
was anyone in her company who was not fearful of the changes tak-
ing place. She thought of her coworker Stan. She was amazed that Stan
Cognitive Flexibility 69

believed everything would work out and didn’t put any energy into get-
ting stressed out. He had an easy faith and trust in the goodness of the
world. Whenever she and Stan discussed the reorganization, he was
upbeat and confident that they would be fine no matter what happened.
Marie imagined that she was Stan, adopting his attitude to describe
the situation from his point of view. Her fear began to dissipate just by
pretending to be him. When she saw the world through his eyes, she real-
ized what a toll it took to always imagine the worst-case scenario. She
also realized that the future can never be known for sure, but that that,
in itself, could be exciting. She discovered that when she felt hopeful, she
felt good in the moment, which impacted everyone around her.
With this new attitude, Marie realized that even if her job were elim-
inated, she would get a severance package that would allow time for her
to find work she might enjoy even more. In short, the positive feelings
she came to experience created an ability to see a wider range of positive
outcomes. Marie adopted a growth mind-set, and you can, too, starting
with the first brain hack in this chapter.
BRAIN
HACK Role Play—What Would Oprah Do?
When a problem or struggle feels overwhelming to you, bring to mind a
role model or someone who has an inspirational story. Oprah Winfrey is a
good example. She overcame a childhood of poverty to become one of the
most successful inspirational media figures. She’s a great choice for this
brain hack, but you can choose any person you love or admire that you
know personally or only from books and film.
Use your imagination to explore what it would be like to be this
inspirational person and how they would handle the situation you are
facing. This opens up new potentials. You can ease into this brain hack
by pretending you’re an actor and this person is the part you are playing.
Imagine that you are acting, thinking, and feeling the way that person
would. Ask yourself, “What is the most different thing about being this
person?” and “What does it feel like to be this person?”
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Then, think of the problem you are trying to solve, and ask yourself,
“How would this person solve this problem?” As you embody this role,
figure out the first action step this person would take to start making this
solution concrete. That’s your next action step.
tip
Pop Your Bubble
Your experience in life is often constrained by your gender, race,
social and economic class, education, and family history. Most of us
live in personal bubbles we assume to be “true” reality. These bub-
bles convince us of untruths, like the idea that we can’t change or
shouldn’t change because others will look at us unkindly. But there’s
a whole world of possibilities outside our personal bubbles. When
you practice seeing what lies outside of your bubble, problem-
solving opportunities will make themselves known to you.
BRAIN
HACK Stop Approval-Seeking
Psychologists use the term approval-seeking to describe making deci-
sions based on what other people think. It can be as small as choosing
your clothing to fit in with a group instead of expressing your own style.
It can be as big as taking an impressive job rather than a lower-paying
job that’s more aligned with your talents and interests. If you value
others’ approval over your own, you won’t be able to discover what you
love, where you want to live, what sort of career you would thrive in,
and so on.
Unfortunately, many of us are controlled by our fears of what others
will think of us. It may be that the solution to a problem requires you to
take actions that others would argue with, disapprove of, or otherwise
discourage. Start noticing your fears about how things look to others.
When you notice them, you have the choice to move beyond them. Then,
loosen up new viewpoints by shifting from “What do others want me to
do?” and “What will others think of what I do?” to “What do I really want
to do?” This opens up a whole new perspective.

exercise
FIND YOUR INNER COMPASS
Bring to mind a choice you have to make either soon or in the future. If
you’re not currently facing a choice, make one up that is likely to occur.
Jot it down in your journal or notebook. Below that, list all the possible
options. Then, write out your answers to these questions:
What would my partner or closest friend recommend I choose?
What would my parents recommend I choose?
What would my friends recommend I choose?
What would other significant people in my life recommend

I choose?
What would I like to choose?
Finding your inner compass doesn’t mean you have to defy what others
think you should do. They might actually have good ideas that you agree
with. However, if you still feel stuck making a choice, consider consulting
with a coach, therapist, or an expert in the field associated with your
decision.
tip
Career Selection
Give yourself permission to try out new jobs if you’re not thriving
in your current workplace. In a post called “How to Pick a Career
(That Actually Fits You),” on the blog WaitButWhy.com, Tim Urban
likens the concept of having a lifelong career to entering a tunnel
that you don’t leave until 40 years later. Who wants to stay in a
tunnel, especially if it’s dark and dreary? There’s no need to feel
like you must stay put. Maybe you can put in for a promotion, ask
for a transfer, or launch a job search while you’re in the job you
have now.
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Seeing Yourself from Different
Perspectives
Being able to see yourself and your life from multiple perspectives
not only helps you think creatively, but also helps you regulate your
emotions. I’ve already discussed seeing a problem from someone else’s
viewpoint, but now I’m suggesting you see it from your own—from
different versions of you. What do I mean? Well, let’s say I were to write
an article about the top 10 ways to get a client who never thinks they’re
good enough to cry in therapy. Number one on my list would be ask-
ing the question, “What would your 16-year-old self say about the life
you’ve created for yourself ?”
When I ask this of my clients who are struggling in their lives, they
almost always realize how much they have overcome and that, by the
standards of their 16-year-old selves, they have achieved enough to be
really happy. “You’re doing awesome!” their younger self would say.
Unfortunately, adults develop tunnel vision, and, with each new life
upgrade, they lose this perspective.
However, some people may do this exercise and feel that they have
disappointed that 16-year-old self. If that’s you, remember that you have a
book in your hands to teach you the skills you may have been missing. If
you feel this way, reassure the 16-year-old in you that you’re back on track
and working toward achieving your dreams.
My client Sandra was struggling with feelings of jealousy toward a
former schoolmate who was doing exactly what Sandra believed she
always wanted to do: writing a lifestyle blog about decorating her home
while parenting as a stay-at-home mom. I guided Sandra through an
exercise where she imagined herself at different ages and different ver-
sions of herself.
If she were more confident, she would start her own blog and even ask
her friend for help. If she were more driven, she would create a business
plan and start seeking funding. If she were herself at age 10, she would
start a blog just for fun and post it on social media. If she were a teenager,

she would say, “Who cares about this stupid blog? I just want to hang
out with my friends.” If she were 10 years older, she imagined she would
think, “Why did I spend my time on that? My kids have grown up, and I
wasted time on a stupid blog.”
By taking these different perspectives, Sandra emerged from the box
she had put herself in and created a pathway for flexible thinking. She
didn’t arrive at one answer, but she freed herself of the jealousy she’d felt.
She thought she would wait until her kids were older, and, if blogging
still felt compelling, she would reconsider her options. The next brain
hack will drive home the reason to release yourself from a narrow per-
spective, and the exercise that follows will help you do what Sandra did.
BRAIN
HACK Think Beyond “Outside the Box”
Don’t just think “outside the box”—think beyond the box itself. Simply
thinking outside the box would suggest you are in a box in the first place.
Societal stereotypes and prejudices are part of what builds the boxes
around us. It’s often not our own doing, but sometimes we might build
boxes of our own, too, around things, people, and ourselves. This is all
part of inflexible thinking. When you broaden your perspective on who
you are, a whole world opens up.
For example, Ray was a self-defined “guy’s guy” and limited his
romantic partners to women who fit in the box he had created based on
physical attributes, but he wasn’t connecting with them. During his ther-
apy sessions with me, he began thinking outside of this suffocating limit.
If he weren’t a “guy’s guy,” what could he do differently? He started to
consider dating women who were more successful than him or smarter
than him or equally as adventurous as he was. When he did, he felt more
alive and met women who could potentially be his match.
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exercise
THROW AWAY THE BOX
Think of a problem you are trying to solve that has been bugging you. It
could be a dead end in your life, an overly complicated relationship, the
frustration of not meeting the “right” people, or a seemingly unsolvable
work problem. Whatever box you have been living in, throw it away now.
Then write the problem on a new page in your journal or notebook, and
answer the following questions:
If I were more confident in myself, what I would do?
If I were more driven, what would I do?
If I were still age 10, what would I do?
If I were still a teenager, what would I do?
If I were 10 years older, what would I do?
This exercise may not solve your problem, but now that you’re looking
at it from a variety of perspectives, you’re getting more clues than you
had before. You’re not “stuck in the box” of who you are now. You see that
there’s a number of possibilities for moving forward. That’s what cognitive
flexibility is all about.
What’s Your Plan B?

A cornerstone of cognitive flexibility is to be able to generate alternatives
if your plans don’t work out. As often as not, our best laid plans can fall
flat for various unforeseen reasons. It may be vacation plans to the beach
ruined by bad weather, or a presentation interrupted by a PowerPoint
malfunction. If we’re prepared with a plan B, we will come to see that the
unpredictable is in fact predictable. We can prevent emotional meltdowns
if we do not expect the world, the weather, or other people to conform to
our plans. That vacation to the beach? There’s a great IMAX movie theater
down the block and a number of new movies to see. That presentation?

You can use your slides as prompts to give it orally, then e-mail coworkers
the slide deck later.
Sometimes, developing a plan B will also help you act more effectively
on your plan A. You know that you have something to fall back on if things
don’t work out the way you want them to. Creating a plan B is as simple as
asking what comes after rejection or failure. This goes a long way in elimi-
nating fear of failure or rejection, both of which can create inflexible think-
ing about the different pathways to achieving goals. The next brain hack and
exercise can help you stay flexible and comfortable with potential failure.
BRAIN
HACK Rejection Collection
Many people lose motivation and stop trying to solve problems or make
changes after they experience failure or rejection. Being failure phobic
can lead to avoiding risks that are necessary for success. On the other
hand, accepting failure can give you a sense of freedom by forcing you to
try something outside your comfort zone and expertise. When you lose
your fear of failure, you gain the power to experiment in life and work,
and experimentation leads to innovation and discovery. In short, you
become unstoppable. Thus, the capacity to take risks without undue fear
of failure is directly related to cognitive flexibility.
The best way to get over any fear is by using the exposure therapy
method we discussed previously. In this case, expose yourself to failure,
and realize it doesn’t have to stop you. Rejection collection is a specific
strategy of actively seeking out more rejections in order to expose yourself
to them. When you actively seek out rejection, you realize you can handle it.
The hack here is to seek rejection in an arena that is low stakes. Let’s say
you want to join a dating site, but you know you can’t handle personal rejec-
tion in this moment. You can start asking for new opportunities at work or
propose new initiatives within your current role. If you have some measure
of security and confidence at work, you won’t be devastated if your propos-
als are rejected. You can also search for new and interesting jobs, apply for
them, either collect rejections or gain confidence if you are offered jobs.
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exercise
SEEK OUT LOW-STAKES REJECTIONS
To find a low-stakes goal, make a list in your journal or notebook of all the
social connections you would like to have in your life. Here is an example,
but yours can be different:
A romantic partner
A friend to play sports with
A friend to go to the movies with
A mentor in my career path
A spiritual mentor
A friend at work
Pick an area that feels low stakes to you. Identify people you would like
to meet up with or get advice from, and reach out to them for support
or connection. Starting in an area where you won’t feel discouraged or
personally hurt will allow you to practice risking rejection. For example,
if getting on a sports team feels low risk to you, start there. As you will
likely experience rejection even in these low-stakes areas, you will be
getting the exposure you need to feel more comfortable around rejection
in general. This will prepare you to roll with the punches when you move
up to higher-stakes areas.
tip
Find Off-the-Grid Dating Sites
I’ve heard stories of people finding true love because a friend
secretly posted their profile for them on a dating site. One of these
stories was about someone who, as a joke, put their friend’s profile
on a completely off-the-mark site. Experiment with off-the-grid
dating sites that feel like lower stakes to you. Try posting your
profile on dating sites for cat lovers, horse lovers, Star Trek fans,
and more. So what if a cat lover rejects you? You’re more of a dog
lover anyway.

Unsticking Your Mind
By doing the same things the same way day after day, you create deep ruts
of habit that are hard to get yourself out of. By creating time to go off-road
driving and explore unknowns, you can create a habit of taking the road
less traveled and paving new roads.
Imagine a grassy field you walk diagonally across, where before there
was no path. If you walk this path many times, a well-worn path is created,
which might be a new shortcut to your destination. The great unknown is
out there waiting for you to discover it, but you need a growth mind-set
to see beyond your usual paths, and sometimes that means recognizing
that you can’t always control what’s going to happen. The next brain hack
can get you in the mind-set of letting go of your usual mode of thinking.
BRAIN
HACK Schedule Chaos
One way to unstick your mind is to practice acceptance of how out of con-
trol life can get. Perfection is a form of rigidity; in contrast, messes are
examples of flexibility. There is no right place for one right thing. Lots of
things can go on in lots of places at lots of times. Life is like that, too; we
get caught in rigid schedules that rule us, and we lose sight of the fact that
we should be ruling our own time.
Here are some events you can schedule to mess with your calendar
and practice breaking rigid habits and narrow thinking:
Entropy. This is a law of physics that tells us that systems pre-

dictably tend toward increasing disorder. It is the opposite of
evolution in the biological realm—it’s the inclination to devolve
into disarray. Schedule three hours of entropy in your weekly
calendar. You can use your own words, such as “chaos,” “stuff
hits the fan,” or “licking my wounds.”
Fun. This is that feeling you get when you’re doing something
new and interesting with no real purpose or desired outcome.
Schedule two hours of fun in your weekly calendar. Do not define
78 Brain Hacks

what fun is. Let yourself figure out what feels fun when that time
arrives. Only in that moment can you choose what that will mean.
Dreaming. Once a week, schedule three hours to do something
that is not a reality for you, but still a dream or a desire. You can
use this time any way you want; it serves only as a reminder to
take your dreams seriously. If you’d like, you can use the time
to set intentions or make goals for your dream. For example,
I schedule 2 to 5 p.m. on Fridays as “dream interpretation.” I
would like to offer sessions to clients that focus on interpreting
dreams. I haven’t created a program, but I schedule it in my cal-
endar as a reminder that I would like to be doing that.
Figuring out my place in the universe. Schedule 15 minutes for
this every day. Think about all the people in the world, planets in
the solar system, and galaxies in the universe. As you think, just
wonder what it’s all about. Ask yourself, “What’s my role in the
universe?”
exercise
MESS UP YOUR ROUTINES
You can unstick your mind by purposely switching up small details of
your routine. Here are three ideas for very small adjustments to make—
nothing too scary. If you started a fitness program, you would start with
10-pound weights before moving on to heavy lifting. In the same way, this
challenge will give you practice sweating the small stuff.
Choose one of the following challenges each week for the next three
weeks, and make a note of it in your journal or notebook. After you’ve
done it, write about your experience.
Go to a coffee shop you don’t like. Order something you have never
tried before.
Meet up with someone you feel indifferent toward. Review your

social-media connections to select this person and invite them to
an activity or place that is new to you. For example, you may find
someone who lives close by but whom you hardly know, or someone

you know well but haven’t had a personal interaction with in several
years. Invite them to go for a walk in an unfamiliar area or check out
a new restaurant.
Appreciate your time wasters. In your journal or notebook, list three

things you consider time wasters. Then come up with three reasons
why they are good uses of time. For example, I think of watching TV
as a time waster, but I can appreciate it because:
1) it is a bonding experience with family and friends.
2) I can relate more to things that friends, family, and clients
talk about.
3) Downtime is worth it!
Experiment with trying out one of your time wasters, and see what
happens.
Changing Gears
Many of life’s problems are created by a failure to change gears. A woman
may come home from work and treat her family like they’re her employ-
ees. A frat dude may have trouble transitioning from days of partying to
growing up and enjoying tamer social pursuits.
Whether it is shifting gears from a work setting to home or from one
stage of life to the next, your relationship and career success depend on
this ability. The following brain hack and exercise will help you practice
changing gears.
BRAIN
HACK Go to Unfamiliar Places
One way to increase your ability to step outside your comfort zone is to
experiment with giving up control in low-stakes areas and noticing the
impact on your life. To get started, put yourself in unfamiliar environ-
ments—for example:
If you love nature, plan a trip to the shopping mall.

If you have expensive taste, go to a garage sale.
80 Brain Hacks

If you’re a wash-and-go type person, go to a beauty salon.
If you’re a neatnik, go frog catching in a muddy pond.
After you give some unfamiliar environments a try, think about the
pros and cons of your experiences. For example, I love to spend time in
nature but hate shopping malls. I actually coined the term mall-air to
describe the sense of fatigue and overstimulation I feel within 10 min-
utes of going inside a mall. When I experiment with going to the mall to
change things up, I can see the benefits of finding things to solve specific
problems. Once, I found a lightweight backpack I could use on hiking
trips so I could leave the heavy one at home.
exercise
CHANGE GEARS ON YOUR ATTENTION
Experiment with the question, “What’s the next best decision?” This
phrase forces you to redirect your attention from where it currently is
focused. When you are confronted with a problem, instead of assum-
ing your first idea is the best one, tell yourself, “Keep looking for other
answers.” This simple statement opens you up to the idea that there are
answers you have never thought of. It sets you on a path of investigating,
researching, and exploring the world for more answers and possibilities.
In your journal or notebook, spend one minute writing about a difficult
decision you have to make. Ask yourself, “What’s the right decision?” and
write your answer. Then ask, “What’s the next best decision?” Allow any
new ideas to emerge. Just notice what comes up without judging it, and
write it in your journal.
This question can help you change gears. It is like driving and decid-
ing to pull over so you can figure out if where you are going is really
where you want to go. Once, when I was a teenager, my friend’s mom
was driving us to a concert. But before she dropped us off, she said, “I
don’t know if this is a good idea.” Clearly, she was struggling with leaving
us unsupervised. Instead of dropping us at the concert, she took us to
a nice r estaurant. She must have asked herself, “What’s the next best
decision?” and decided leaving two teens unattended at a rowdy concert
didn’t fit the bill. That’s a perfect example of changing gears.

Ignoring Contradictory Rules
A catch-22 is a situation, such as a dilemma or difficulty, that seems
insurmountable or unavoidable. It’s the epitome of inflexible thinking,
assuming there is no possible adaptation we can make to improve a prob-
lematic situation. The recognition catch-22 is an example of what I mean;
it’s a limiting belief that can keep you from achieving your goals. Let’s say
you want to be a writer, but you believe you have to achieve some form
of recognition first, like winning an essay contest. How can you win an
essay contest if you haven’t spent a lot of time writing and developing
your craft?
Tearing down misguided, limiting beliefs that seem to have contra-
dictory rules, like having to find someone who recognizes your talent
before you think you are talented, goes a long way toward helping you
reach your goals. The next brain hack and exercise will get you primed for
coming at what you want from a different angle.
BRAIN
HACK Put Yourself Out There
You don’t need to be a recognized expert or professional in a field to share
your ideas about it, so put today’s technology to good use. You can post
your ideas and offerings on social-networking sites, whatever the topic.
Photographers often create blogs featuring their work, comedians create
podcasts and/or YouTube channels, writers blog and Tweet their work,
and artists show off their work on Facebook, Instagram, and other sites.
Remind yourself that you don’t have to already be established to find an
audience. There are no gatekeepers, and you don’t need permission.
exercise
RELEASE THE NEED FOR PERMISSION
If you are waiting for the door to opportunity to be opened by some “offi-
cial gatekeeper,” you are seeking permission and may be unnecessarily
holding yourself back. Sure, if you want a new job, the person doing the
82 Brain Hacks

hiring is a gatekeeper of sorts, but there’s no one withholding permission
for you to train for the job and go on the interview. Waiting for permission
or approval, even from yourself, is a manifestation of inflexible thinking.
In your journal or notebook, write down a bold action you could take
that would help you move forward with a goal. Don’t think about all the
reasons you can’t allow yourself to take that action. Simply ask, “Do I
really need permission to just go for it?” Then respond in writing to the
following questions:
1 If there are no gatekeepers and I don’t need permission, what is the

first step I’ll take?
2 If I take the next step, what will happen and how will I feel? Where
will I be five years from now if I take that step?
3 If I don’t take the next step, what will happen and how will I feel?
Where will I be five years from now if I don’t take that step?
Takeaways
Look at your problems or challenges from the perspective of
someone you admire and even different versions of yourself to
create more flexible thinking.
Having something you can fall back on if things don’t work out
the way you hope can alleviate some of your fear of failure or
rejection.
If you target low-stakes rejections, you can build up your rejec-
tion tolerance through exposure therapy.
Part of being flexible is considering other people’s advice and
expectations of you, but before you do this, know where you
stand. You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to take
the next step toward your goals.
Shake up your life a bit to get out of the rut of following the
same routines that keep you stuck in a fixed mind-set.

Chapter Five
Emotional
Regulation
Emotional regulation refers to our ability to
manage our emotional responses to things by
finding ways to bring ourselves down from a
“high” (say, a spike of intense anger) or back
up from a “low” (like the sadness that might
immediately follow a big disappointment).
Emotional regulation is our way of staying on
an even keel as we navigate through the average
day, which may include good news, bad news,
and everything in between.
Emotional regulation is important because when we are experienc-
ing strong emotions—whether they’re positive or negative—we’re not
able to think as rationally as we do in a calmer state. That means things
like planning, focusing on tasks, and organizing ourselves become
more difficult. So you can see how our ability to regulate our emotions
is critical to the smooth functioning of all the executive functions. For
our purposes, the two main strategies for emotional regulation are
(1) increasing appropriate emotional expression and (2) managing
intense emotions—like anger or acute anxiety—that can interfere with
smooth executive functioning.
Let’s look at some examples. Say you’re at work preparing for a pre-
sentation. Your mind keeps wandering to what a jerk your boss is, always
criticizing your team’s performance. Your boss doesn’t work at your
branch and has no idea how different your branch is, and so she com-
plains that results are not as high as in other cities. You can’t focus because
these other thoughts are looping through your mind, interfering with the
task at hand. One way to get thoughts out of a rut is to slow down, access
the feeling, and learn how to “feel it to heal it.” You’ll learn tools in this
86 Brain Hacks

chapter for doing just that, but in this situation, the quickest example of
what to do would simply be to write an angry letter to your boss, which
you will tear up and throw away afterward because you do not intend to
send it. Venting on paper can help you express and release the emotion,
make meaning of it, and perhaps come up with an action step.
You might also arrive at a specific request to make to your boss, such as
a meeting to explain why your branch is different and can’t follow the same
protocols as other branches. This simple step of writing a letter will allow you
to better focus—you have a presentation to prepare for, after all. Imagine you
have a tank inside of you that fills with repressed emotions. When it gets too
full, it interferes with your ability to focus and plan. Cleaning out the tank
increases your ability to focus—that is the value of emotional expression.
Some people are hardwired to be more intense than others. In these
cases, the oversensitivity will create lots of different intense emotions
that will directly interfere with the ability to focus and plan. Let’s say Ted,
who works in the complaints division of customer service, has difficulty
controlling his emotions while responding to the dozens of e-mails he
gets from customers each week.
Customer service is, almost by definition, managing angry people. One
week, Ted is already having a hard time concentrating because he’s wonder-
ing why his friend didn’t accept his invitation to hang out over the weekend.
Then he opens the first e-mail, in which a customer blames him for a billing
mistake. He looks at the account and sees that the error occurred with Joe in
operations. He is now furious with Joe. He wants to walk over to Joe and tell
him what he’s really thinking, as he’s done in the past, but he knows he often
loses control and starts yelling in these circumstances. He realizes none of
this falls under the category of “customer service.” In this case, rather than
clearing out a tank of repressed emotions, he needs to talk himself down and
gain detachment from the intense emotions.
Whether you bottle up your emotions and ruminate or blurt them out
in the moment and feel bad later, this chapter will show you a number of
brain hacks and exercises for gaining control over these intense emotions
and keeping on an even keel throughout even the most challenging day.
Emotional Regulation 87

Identifying Emotions
Lupe came to me for therapy to discuss a major complaint: She didn’t
believe her job at a Silicon Valley start-up was secure, so she had difficulty
feeling calm at work and would often lash out at people in her life, even
though they had nothing to do with her work situation. She revealed that
she was constantly afraid she would lose her job. Lupe had identified her
fear, her frustration, and the stress she felt, all of which would point us
to important information. We dug deeper. It turned out that Lupe had
difficulty focusing at work because of a disruptive coworker, and her per-
formance was suffering as a result.
I advised Lupe to journal about the situation. This journaling exer-
cise brought light to Lupe’s anger at her coworker for goofing off and her
anger at the others in her office for not noticing or complaining about the
disruption. Her coworker constantly socialized during work hours, dis-
rupting Lupe’s ability to focus, which made her frustrated and actually in
jeopardy of losing her job due to missing deadlines, sulking around the
office, and slamming stuff around.
Now that Lupe understood that her poor performance and fear of los-
ing her job had specific causes that could be addressed, she could talk to
her boss about the disruptions at work. She could also work on manag-
ing her emotions by putting a plan in place to get to the root cause and
address it. Like Lupe, take some time to identify the emotions surround-
ing an issue in your life. Your emotions are telling you something. The
following brain hacks and exercises will set you on the path to getting
familiar with what’s going on.
BRAIN
HACK Get to Know Your Feelings
Get to know what your feelings are telling you. Our feelings are ways that
we communicate to ourselves about ourselves. Anger can mean you need
to set boundaries. Sadness communicates that someone or something we
value has been lost. Anxiety means that something we fear might happen
88 Brain Hacks

or that something we love might cease to be. Within feelings are mes-
sages that can help us solve problems or be more faithful to ourselves and
our needs. To start this process, identify the emotions associated with
your chief complaints in the next exercise.
Keep in mind, too, that many painful emotions are caused by
thoughts that may be distorted, unhelpful, unlikely, or flat out untrue.
Many therapists tell their clients, “You can’t always believe what you
think,” and I’m saying the same to you. Perhaps you will discover that
you have a lot of thoughts surrounding the emotions associated with
your chief complaint, but not all of those thoughts are based on the real-
ity of the situation. If that’s the case, there’s also an exercise for creating
some distance from your thoughts.
exercise
BREATHING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
Underneath any complaint or dissatisfaction with life is at least one
emotion: anger, fear, sadness, and/or frustration. Writing is a helpful way
to figure out what the emotions underneath your complaint are telling
you. Take out your journal or notebook, and list the three biggest com-
plaints you have about your life. Choose one of these complaints and
write your answers to the following questions:
What is the underlying feeling behind the complaint?
What is the external cause of that feeling?
How can I address that external cause?
Is the external cause based in reality? (If not, the next exercise
will help.)
Once you have identified an emotion you’re feeling, take a seat and
validate the feeling by saying to yourself, “It’s okay to feel mad/sad/fear-
ful.” Allow yourself to stay with the emotion by anchoring yourself in your
breath. Here’s how:

1 Place your hand on your belly and inhale, filling your belly as if you
are inflating a balloon with air. (This is called diaphragmatic breath-
ing because you are expanding your diaphragm.)
2 Let yourself feel the emotion as you breathe in, expanding your belly,
and also as you breathe out, allowing all the air to leave your body. I
like to think of this as ventilating the room or opening the window to
allow the emotion more room for movement and transformation.
3 Now, as you continue to breathe, focus your attention on the out

breath. You can let go of your attention on the in breath. When you
breathe out, you exhale carbon dioxide, and this is essential for
calming the nervous system.
Note: A simple rule is to exhale longer than you inhale. For example, on
his website, Dr. Andrew Weil explains that the simplest and most effec-
tive way to do this is through the 4-7-8 count. You inhale for 4 seconds,
hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. He recom-
mends you repeat this three times.
tip
Staying Present with Loss
Two of the hardest feelings to stay present with are grief and loss. If
we stave off the pain of a breaking heart, we effectively shut down
our own feelings and sensitivities, handicapping us in our future
relationships. If you let yourself feel the full force of a recent loss,
you will increase your capacity for love. How you handle a breakup
or other loss can change you and improve every relationship that
comes after. Use this reminder as you breathe through it.
exercise
GAIN DISTANCE FROM YOUR THOUGHTS
There are many ways to practice gaining some distance from your
thoughts, not taking them too seriously, and relieving some of the
emotional turmoil. Here are three visualizations that can help you gain
healthy skepticism and distance from troubling thoughts. Try one or
more, and journal about your experience.
90 Brain Hacks

Imagine your thoughts are like clouds. Now, watch them drift away.
As you practice this, you will notice that as one thought passes,
another, often unrelated thought arises. Buddhists call this the
“monkey mind.” Like a monkey jumping around and swinging from
tree to tree, your thoughts are always looking for some new action.
Imagine floating in a river. Look around and notice every area of

concern as if it were a leaf drifting past you. You may notice many
leaves at one time or see a series of leaves floating past you.
As you notice thoughts arising, put a label on them. You can simply
label every thought as “thinking.” Or, if you prefer, you can come up
with more specific labels, such as “worrying,” “hoping,” or “desiring.”
Emotions and the

Body-Mind Connection
To feel good, you have to take good care of your body. The fundamentals
of emotional regulation start with the foundation of good sleep, a healthy
diet, and regular exercise. The foundation of mental health is sleep. Even
a deprivation of two hours a night can create dramatic impairments in
basic functioning, like being able to drive safely and stay focused.
Emotional regulation requires that all systems are a go when it comes
to executive functioning. Without the necessary seven to eight hours of
sleep a night for adults, the brain hacks won’t have the momentum to
overcome a sleep-deprived brain. Eating a well-balanced diet is also a cor-
nerstone of emotional regulation. It’s easy to lose your cool when you’re
starving or have had three cups of coffee. You might also indulge in food
you know will make you feel bad, whether it’s that sugar high or the cock-
tail that leads to regrets later.
Physical exercise is one of the most powerful brain hacks for improv-
ing mood. Whether this means joining a gym, putting an exercise bike in
your home or office, or taking regular walks around the block or up and
down the stairs, every little bit helps. With all that said, your body is the

storehouse of your emotions. Take care of it, but also tune in to get clues
about the emotions it’s carrying. That’s what the following brain hack and
exercises are for.
BRAIN
HACK Listen to Your Body
Your body is always talking to you, so start listening to get clues on what
to do next. That stomachache can mean that there is some emotional
issue you are having a hard time digesting. A constant headache might be
your body telling you to slow down and deal with some issues you have
not been facing. Places of tightness, pressure, and tension can indicate
that you need to slow down and pay attention to what you are feeling.
There is an expression attributed to various aboriginal populations about
needing to slow down to let your soul catch up with your body. Imagine
putting that on your to-do list! The next exercise is an elaborate way to
follow that advice.
exercise
DO A BODY SCAN
Imagine a body scanner like the wands used by airport security guards.
They wave the wand over your body, checking for any concealed weapons.
In this case, you’ll be checking for feelings. “You have to feel it to heal it”
is a well-worn mantra we use in psychotherapy. Do the following scan
several times a day to tune in with your body and your feelings.
1 Imagine the wand moving very slowly from the top of your head
down to your toes, and then slowly scanning each arm from shoul-
der to fingertips. This wand is moving slowly as it looks for any
hotspots of concealed emotion, physical tension, or pain.
2 When you identify a hotspot, take a moment to describe the sen-

sation you feel. Is it big or small? Is it a warm or cold sensation?
Describe the sensation as carefully as you can. Is it a physical sen-
sation or an emotion? If it’s an emotion, is it anger, sadness, anxiety,
shame, guilt, or something else?
92 Brain Hacks

exercise
SCAN BEFORE AND AFTER
To test out the power of the body scan you did in the previous exercise,
try a before and after exercise. In your journal or notebook, describe how
you are feeling before the scan. Give yourself a rating on a scale of 1 (bad
mood) to 10 (great mood).
Now take a 10-minute break to try out the body scan. Set a timer, and,
without worrying about following the directions perfectly, take the time to
mentally scan your body for emotions or points of tension. Most com-
monly, someone will find tightness in their chest, an upset stomach, or a
tension headache.
Once you locate the pain point, let yourself breathe deeply and imag-
ine your breath touching the tension and melting it away. You don’t have
to make this complicated; it can be as simple as putting your attention
on the tense point and feeling caring or compassionate toward yourself.
If you have a tension headache, practice dropping your jaw to notice
if it has been clenched. If your chest is tight, put your hand on it for com-
fort. If your stomach feels sick, put your hand on it as if to soothe it.
Return to your journal or notebook, and write about how you are feel-
ing after the exercise. Again, rate your mood on a scale of 1 to 10. Do you
see any improvements? Describe any changes you noticed after the body
scan. Any benefits you notice will motivate you to pay attention to what
your body is telling you and to take the time to address tension whenever
it arises.
Building Emotional Resilience

Resilience is the ability to keep going after you have had a setback or feel
like you’ve been knocked down. Maybe you tried out for a role with the
local theater group and didn’t get the part. Do you decide to take more
acting classes and audition for the next performance? Or do you feel
upset and filled with self-doubt, wondering why you even tried? The
path of resilience will lead to a very different life trajectory. The more you
bounce back, the more likely you are to get better at life and turn your
goal setting into goal getting.

Resilience requires getting back up after a letdown. It also requires
you to fully feel the impact of getting knocked down. Once you are firmly
rooted in the painful, emotional impact of an event, bouncing back
requires you to find some positive element in the disappointing situation.
Lessons learned will build your confidence so you can bounce back—
taking one positive step forward.
BRAIN
HACK The Resilience “Three-Step”
When you’ve had a setback or disappointment, it’s time to put on your
dancing shoes and do the three-step: Recognize the feeling, identify the
positives, and create an action step. Repressive coping—that is, just put-
ting a lid on your feelings and sitting this one out—can result in health
and relationship problems.
1 Recognize the feeling. Are you sad, angry, embarrassed, afraid,

or something else? Once you’ve recognized the feeling, turn up
the volume by “surfing the wave of emotion.” Be present for the
emotion, imagine it like a wave getting more intense, and then,
like a wave, let it subside. Turning up the emotion helps you
learn that you can control the intensity of the feeling. If you can
turn it up, you can also turn it down.
2 Identify the positives. Ask yourself, “What part of that did I do

well,” or “What went well?” For example, maybe you didn’t get
the promotion you expected, but when you got the news, you
didn’t storm out of your boss’s office and slam the door behind
you. That’s a positive. Whatever the situation, you should always
be able to identify something that went well or better than
expected, and/or something you did that showed growth or grace.
3 Create an action step. What’s one action step you can take to
move forward? For instance, instead of blaming or complaining,
94 Brain Hacks

you can make a specific request or set a boundary; that’s com-
posed assertiveness. For example, you could say, “I understand
that coworker X got the promotion, but I have been here longer,
and I am more qualified. What other criteria were considered?”
This won’t get you that particular promotion, but it will provide
you with important information.
exercise
ENCOURAGE YOURSELF TO TRY AGAIN
Think of something you haven’t yet been successful at but know you
need to do to reach your goals. You may be afraid to try again. Let’s
say you’ve been looking for a job. It’s difficult to stay positive in this
situation, because until you have a job offer, you’re facing a series of
rejections. It would be easy to give in to fear, catastrophic thinking, or
despondency.
Take out your journal or notebook, and, on a fresh page, write what
that challenging thing is for you. Maybe you’re not looking for a new job.
Maybe you want to start dating or you want to go out for a meal by your-
self on your business trip next month.
Ask yourself the following five questions, and brainstorm your
answers to come up with supportive and encouraging thoughts and
feelings:
What are the three reasons I can do this thing? For example, “I can
go out to dinner alone because I have the money to pay for my meal,
other people do it all the time, and I need to satisfy my hunger to
stay focused.”
What are three things I did right this week? It can be anything, but
try to think of things that are similar or somehow related to the
scary thing. For example, “I went to the grocery store alone to pick
up my food for the week, I sat alone in the break room to eat my
lunch, and I shared a meal at a restaurant with my friend.”
What are three things that are already working in my life? For
example, “I was chosen to go on this business trip, I have financial
stability, and I get along well with my coworkers.”

How does doing this thing advance a broader goal? For example,
“Going out to eat by myself aligns with my goal to become a suc-
cessful businessperson.”
Are my thoughts helping or hurting? For example, maybe you’re

thinking, “I’ll look like a loser sitting all alone at a restaurant. People
will feel sorry for me. They’ll think I don’t have any friends, and maybe
they’re right.” If your thoughts are hurting you through frequent
self-criticism, they will create all sorts of emotional upsets—from
irrational fears to emotional torment—as you think about past
mistakes you’ve made. You can improve your emotional balance by
challenging distorted and unhelpful thoughts. There’s a brain hack
for that.
BRAIN
HACK I magine, Substitute, Ignore,
Change the Channel
When it comes to building emotional resistance in the face of
self-criticism, doubts, and limiting beliefs, you have four options to take
matters into your own hands . . . and brain: imagine, substitute, ignore,
and change the channel. Any one of these actions will get you off the path
of negative thinking that causes emotional upsets and back on the path of
more balanced emotions.
Imagine that your self-criticism is being delivered by someone

whose opinion you don’t trust. Would you take their word at face
value? No, you would challenge and dispute them. Challenge
and dispute your own thoughts in the same way.
Substitute your upsetting thoughts with a soothing or comfort-
ing image. When you hear an internal voice tearing you down,
think of a time when you felt valued and appreciated. It may
have been a special award you won, words from an encouraging
teacher, or someone who said, “I love you.”
Ignore the self-criticism. Discipline your mind to think of
self-criticism as useless brain chatter—like a yapping dog
96 Brain Hacks

barking at nothing. Remind your brain not to take it seriously,
tell it to be quiet, and then move on.
Change the Channel by forcefully dragging your mind
away from the self-criticism. Here’s how: Imagine that the
self-criticism is a cable channel you hate. As you’re flipping
through the channels, you wouldn’t stop on that channel and
force yourself to watch it for minutes; you’d just skip past it as
fast as you can. When your mind lands on the self-critical chan-
nel, tell it to change the channel. Create one or more “channels”
in your brain to tune into instead. For example, you can focus
on good memories or a new project you are excited about. If
you need a physical reminder that you can change the channel,
pick up an inspirational book (Brain Hacks, anyone?) or one with
spiritual teachings. You can even have a stack of books, each
representing a different channel.
Managing Negative Emotions

The first noble truth of Buddhism is that life is suffering. While this
book is not a guide to enlightenment or a treatise on Buddhism, it can
be helpful to recognize that managing negative emotions is a full-time
job. Whereas Buddhists say that life is suffering, America’s Declaration of
Independence tells us it is an inalienable right to pursue happiness.
Perhaps our American optimism has made us naive about the ways our
brains constantly face emotional challenges. Perhaps more than any other
emotion, in a culture of “keep moving, nothing to see here,” the feelings of
heartbreak and grief are not given the light and space they need for healing
to occur. In some cases, difficult emotions arise from not getting our needs
met. We might be thought of as selfish if we focus on our own needs, and
that’s unfair. What’s more, we are often pressured into thinking we need to
always be in control, so not feeling like we’re in control can bring up all sorts
of distressing emotions. The following brain hacks and exercises are just
what you may need to counter these types of cultural conditioning.

BRAIN
HACK Grieve Your OWN Way
Sometimes we have experiences so wrenching that they inevitably—and
legitimately—cause us to feel extremely uncomfortable emotions for a
period of time. When you are going through a loss from death, divorce,
job failure, or heartbreak, throw out the timelines others suggest for when
you should move on, and remind yourself that grief is uniquely personal.
Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the author of
On Death and Dying, documented predictable reactions of people going
through grief, the stages of which are denial, anger, bargaining, depres-
sion, and acceptance. The stages may happen out of order, come around
again several times, and may happen in combination. Knowing this, give
yourself permission to be wherever you are in your grief. Also, keep in
mind that grief doesn’t have to come from a major loss like a death. Loss
and the accompanying stages of grief can come from feelings of rejection
or abandonment, too.
Give yourself permission to grieve, but also give yourself permission to
heal from a loss when you’re ready. Let yourself feel your feelings and be
there for as long as you need. Tell yourself, “I can be sad as much as I want
for as long as I want,” “I can be mad as much as I want for as long as I want,”
or “I can be afraid as much as I want for as long as I want.” You don’t have to
jump over where you are now to get to the stage of being able to let go. The
book It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine can be a helpful guide.
exercise
GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION
Think of a person no longer in your life—whether from death, divorce, or
disengagement—who you are grieving over. Write this person’s name at
the top of a clean page in your journal or notebook, and respond to the
following questions. Remember that you don’t actually have to do these
things, so feel uninhibited in your exploration of them here.
If you gave yourself permission to believe that living a full life hon-
ors the person you lost, what might you do differently?
98 Brain Hacks

If you gave yourself permission to believe that the person you lost
wants you to be happy, what might you do differently?
If you gave yourself permission to believe that the life of the person
you lost is made more meaningful by your living a vibrant life, what
might you do differently?
If you gave yourself permission to look for new relationships coming

into your life, what might you see?
If this person could talk to you now, what might he or she

say to you?
BRAIN
HACK Identify Unmet Needs
Your emotional life is inextricably connected to your external life. Many
of your emotions are reflections of what’s going on in the outside world.
It’s true that many intense emotions are the result of distorted thoughts,
exaggerated fears, and ruminations, but emotional and social depriva-
tion can result in massive dust storms of intense fury and sadness, too.
Think of a recent example of a time when your emotions drove a con-
versation with someone and you didn’t get the results you wanted. Many
times, our interactions become negative when we’re being driven by
unmet needs in a relationship. Start getting in touch with what you need
from others. Only by knowing your needs will you get clear on which of
them aren’t being met. The following exercise will help you on the way.
exercise
WHAT DO YOU REALLY NEED?
Take out your journal or notebook. Down the left side of a clean page,
write “I need . . .” 20 times.
Next, fill in the blanks. Let your stream of consciousness dictate what
you write down without feeling like what you are saying must be right. It’s
okay if it starts out silly, like “I need a cup of coffee.” You may even write
things that are lewd or not realistic. That’s okay; just keep going.

When you’ve completed your list of needs, look for realistic and legit-
imate responses. For example, you might realize you need a mentor or a
supportive community. When you identify a healthy, realistic need, take
a step to meet that need. For example, you might send out an e-mail to
10 people inviting them to your place on Friday night for a potluck. Or
maybe you wrote, “I need to be heard.” Maybe there’s someone in your
life who’s not hearing your point of view. You may want to schedule a
time when you and that person can sit down and you could ask for a few
moments to express yourself from a calm place.
Repeat this exercise once a month. The more often you can identify
legitimate needs and take steps to get them met, the more capable you
will be of regulating your emotions.
exercise
CREATE A SUPPORT ACTION PLAN
As the saying goes, “People need people.” When you are in the process
of identifying your unmet needs, chances are you will discover that you
require more support from others than you currently have. Ask yourself,
“Who can support me?” In many cases, you can get support from:
A loving romantic partner. If you don’t have one, you can join a dat-
ing site. Ask a friend for help creating your profile.
Friends with shared interests. If you don’t have enough of these,

you can join a sports team or take classes at your local hobby store.
A mentor who can help you sort out professional goals. If you don’t
have one, identify someone in your profession who you admire, and
schedule regular coffee or lunch meetings.
A community group for a sense of belonging. If you don’t belong to a

community, you can sign up for classes, workshops, or conferences
where you can meet like-minded people.
A networking group. If you aren’t part of a networking group, you

can research groups in your area, reach out to the facilitator, and
attend the next meeting.
100 Brain Hacks

A coach or a therapist. If you don’t have one, you can ask for
recommendations from people you trust or do an online search for
coaches and therapists in your area.
With these ideas in mind, take out your journal or notebook. To start
creating an action plan for finding and asking for support, write out three
actions you will take in one of these areas.
tip
Take a Break from Negative Emotions
Manage your negative emotions by setting reminders to pause and
engage in a healthy pleasure, the power of which is not to be under-
estimated. Being the boss of your brain means you can create your
own rules, so make one to stop on a regular basis and feed your
brain with things that rejuvenate you. Healthy pleasure can be as
simple as a stretch or exercise, a stack of books or journals to read,
a favorite app, an audiobook, or a podcast.
BRAIN
HACK Build Uncertainty Tolerance
The human drive for control or certainty is one of the many causes of dis-
tressing emotions. Some people seek therapy because they are distressed
over not being able to control other people’s actions or want certainty
about how situations in their lives will turn out. Many psychics have
made a good living off people desperately searching for concrete answers
about the future.
But the fact is, life is full of uncertainty and unexpected events—and
there’s no stopping it. No one can predict the future, let alone control
it, and letting go of your desire to know the outcome goes a long way in
releasing your need to control it. As for other people, they’re going to
be who they are, and there’s no controlling that. An important step in
improving your emotional regulation is building your tolerance for the
uncertainty we all face in daily life.

We all want definitive answers: Will I get this job? Will this relation-
ship work out? Will I have enough money to buy a house? Will he/she ever
listen to me and stop doing that dangerous thing? The catch is that defin-
itive answers are in short supply. When your mind pipes up demanding
certainty, the brain hack is to simply answer, “I don’t know.” This usually
isn’t easy for any of us to admit, but the reality is that we usually don’t
know what’s going to happen to us in a given situation.
Whenever questions come up about the future or another person’s
behavior, say to yourself, “I don’t know.” Give it a minute to see what
emerges. You may have to keep repeating this. Each time the question
arises, pause, take a deep breath, and say, “I don’t know.”
exercise
UNCERTAINTY “WORKOUTS”
When you tell yourself, “I don’t know,” and you wait a moment to see what
emerges, does an anxious feeling come up? If so, turn your attention to
your breath and let that feeling fully emerge. Focus your attention on it
and the important information it contains. Try one of these techniques:
1 Imagine the feeling as a wave that gets bigger and then subsides.
This is the “surf the wave” technique. Like the waves, feelings come
in and go out, so allow them to ebb and flow.
2 If the feeling is intense, visualize an image that conveys the feeling.

For example, if you feel frustration, imagine a steel safe you cannot
open no matter how hard you try. Then, use that image to suggest
an opposing feeling. Imagine yourself as steely and determined.
102 Brain Hacks

tip
Reframe Uncertainty
Uncertainty can be viewed as scary, but it can also be seen as an
adventure. Adopt an attitude of excitement about venturing into
the unknown. Sports is a great example. No one knows who’s going
to win when the game starts. Still, the stands are full because
there’s pleasure in seeing what unfolds. Whether you win or lose,
have compassion for yourself. Sure, the stakes are high and you are
struggling with uncertainty, but that’s what it means to be human:
wanting to succeed or have a positive outcome and simply not
knowing what’s going to happen. No matter which team we’re on,
we’re all in this predicament.
Takeaways
Exploring your chief complaints can help you uncover your feel-
ings surrounding a situation and create action steps.
Spend time breathing with your emotions to validate them. You
have the right to feel whatever you are feeling.
Your body has important information for you; a body scan can
help you get in touch with what it has to tell you.
Emotional resilience is built by getting back up after a setback or
rejection, and encouraging yourself to try again—because you
can do this thing.
Negative emotions are a normal part of life; you will feel them,
but they can be managed.

Chapter Six
Impulse
Control
Fire. Aim. Ready. That’s impulsivity: taking your
shot and then backtracking to figure out what
you did and why. Han Solo—an impulsive out-
law smuggler and space pirate—is one of the
most beloved Star Wars characters. He shoots
before he thinks, gambles away the Millennium
Falcon, and taunts outlaw space gangs by not
repaying his debts. But that’s a scripted drama,
and acting like Han Solo in real life is likely to
get you in trouble.
Habitual behaviors and patterns of mindlessness are also forms
of impulsivity. Impulsive actions are not preceded by thought. It’s
doing what you feel like in the moment without considering the con-
sequences. Impulsivity is also the driving force behind addictions of
all kinds, as the nature of addiction is indulging an urge without paus-
ing or reflecting on the consequences, even if the behavior is ruining
your life.
Impulsivity can result in brinkmanship, or pushing the limits
so it feels like you’re always living on the edge. For example, Ethan
knows he has enough time to get to work by 9 a.m., but then he passes
a convenience store and pulls into the lot to get chocolate milk and
doughnuts. He doesn’t think about all the people who are going to be
waiting in line, too, getting their morning coffees and snacks. With
some preemptive self-talk, he would have recognized that stopping at
the convenience store would not be a good idea. Instead, as he sips the
chocolate milk and takes a big bite of his doughnut, his self-talk comes
in the form of, Wow! That took longer than I thought it would. But he didn’t
actually think.
106 Brain Hacks

Now, his adrenaline is pumping and he’s worried about being late,
so he starts driving recklessly, weaving in and out of traffic, speeding
through yellow lights, and shouting at slow drivers. He’s starting to feel
a little ill from the sugar rush, but his adrenaline is kicking in. He tries to
figure out what he will say to his boss if he walks in late or if he gets pulled
over for speeding. Just before he stopped at the convenience store, he was
on target for an easy drive to work, calm and ready to start his day. Now he
is plotting and trying to come up with excuses.
Does that scenario sound familiar? Why would someone do this to
themself ? One theory is that people who do this are seeking stimulation.
While most people would enjoy the stress-free ride to work and look for-
ward to the few minutes they have to spare to kick off the day in a relaxed
and easy manner, a stimulation-seeking person might need the thrill and
excitement of getting themselves out of the trouble they created.
Maybe you don’t relate to Ethan’s scenario, but you still struggle with
impulsivity in other ways. This chapter teaches you tools for challenging
impulsive behaviors that can damage or ruin careers and relationships.
Deciding What Not to Do

Much of the time, managing impulsiveness is about stopping yourself
from doing something that feels good in the moment. Good executive
functioning means exercising your judgment, planning your actions,
and using your cognitive flexibility to think of alternatives to an imme-
diate urge.
An urge is more primitive than an emotion. An emotion is a reaction
to something that has happened, is happening, or might happen. An
urge, on the other hand, is a drive to take immediate action, like reading a
text as soon as it comes in, no matter what you are doing at the time. For
example, one day I was in my office writing session notes and schedul-
ing another client when my phone chimed. I dropped my tasks to answer
the text. The text was from a friend saying our sons’ soccer practice had
been cancelled. I texted back saying I’d drive the kids to the practice—the
Impulse Control 107

practice she had just told me wasn’t going to happen. As ridiculous as
my response was, this is entirely predictable when you consider the
research on multitasking, which basically shows that we’re terrible at
it. Let’s address the counterproductive urge to multitask with our next
brain hack.
BRAIN
HACK Say No to Multitasking
Impulsivity can often manifest as multitasking. In these cases, we jump
around from task to task with no rhyme or reason, and get nothing done
as a result. For example, you might have an urge to check your e-mails to
see if someone responded to your query on one project while you are work-
ing on another project. Or you might have the urge to check your phone to
see if any notifications popped up. A dangerous example of multitasking
is texting while you are driving. (Research has shown that texting while
driving makes you 23 times more likely to get into an accident.)
Research also shows that multitasking slows you down dramatically
and increases the likelihood of mistakes. Data also suggests that multi-
tasking over a long period of time can diminish working memory. This
means that when you have multiple tabs up or are doing more than one
thing at a time, you lose in three ways:
You are less productive and work more slowly.

You make more mistakes.
You diminish your capacity for working memory.
Multitasking is a no-win situation. Here are some strategies to say no

to multitasking:
Put your phone in another room while you are working.

Keep your Internet browser closed on your computer.
Repeat, “One thing at a time” to yourself throughout the day
and/or write it on sticky notes that you post in your office.
Take one-minute micro breaks between tasks. Set a timer for one
minute and focus only on your breath. You don’t have to jump
108 Brain Hacks

from one thing to another. Do this several times throughout the
day to build a transition between actions.
Notice how your body reacts when you multitask. Are you
clenching your jaw? Holding your breath? Is your stomach
jumping? Are your shoulders tight? Pay attention to the physical
consequences of multitasking to increase your motivation to
reduce the habit.
Considering Your Options

Imagine a situation in which you feel backed into a corner. You used to be
your boss’s right hand, and now she has a fledgling circle of upstarts that
she is leaning on more and more. You feel displaced and fearful. You think
you should just quit because this really stinks. In fact, that’s what you’re
going to do right now! You are going to march into her office and say, “I’m
outta here!” But wait. That’s your impulsivity talking.
You need this job. You actually have several options. You can redefine
your role within the company, you can meet with your boss to discuss
your job description, you can look for another job while you still have this
one, you can build your skills to be more useful in your current position,
and so on. Wow! And you were just going to quit your job.
This is just one example. Another might be the urge to make an
on-the-spot purchase of that couch that’s 15 percent off “only today” at
your favorite online store. It’s a good idea to ask yourself, “Are there other
options?” Of course there are. There are thousands of other couches, not
to mention the fact that the couch you have now has a few more years of
life. Can you see why it’s important to consider your options before you
move forward? The next brain hack will help you on your way.
BRAIN
HACK Know Your Options
When you have an urge to do something, do not make an immediate
decision to do it until you have brainstormed your options. Think of your
Impulse Control 109

urge as a question: “What are my options?” Count them on your fingers,
as in the example of the advertisement for the couch sale. Once you’ve
made a count, ask yourself, “Are there any unique opportunities here?”
For example, is there anything about this sale that won’t come around
again? Count those on your fingers, too. You’ll see that giving in to the
urge probably isn’t your best, most productive option.
This process will train your brain to not take an immediate action
based on an urge. It can keep you from knee-jerk reactions that can dam-
age relationships and save you from spending money unnecessarily, in
addition to a number of other benefits.
Becoming Aware of Your

Thought Process
Put simply, the word “metacognition” means thinking about thinking, and
it’s an important component of your executive functioning. It’s the ability
to take a broader perspective on how you think and whether your thoughts
are helpful or hurtful. A craving or urge is a form of cognition, a message
you are giving yourself: “I want that bag of potato chips.” Metacognition
is as simple as labeling that thought “craving” and deciding to ride it out,
rather than grabbing the chips. Multiplied over a lifetime, your ability
to assess the value of your chip-craving thought can mean the difference
between good health and high cholesterol. Metacognition enables you to
observe your own thought process in flight, and that critical perspective
leads to better decision-making.
If reactivity is a form of mindlessness, mindfulness is part of a solution
to strengthen your ability to think about and evaluate your own thinking.
To be mindful means to “go meta”—to get outside of your own process
and observe it as if from a distance. Anytime you ask, “Is this thought
helpful or unhelpful?” you are using your metacognition. Talking to a
therapist or coach is another way to “go meta.” These professionals serve
as your view from outside of your own mind. Sometimes, between ses-
sions, people might ask themselves, “What would my therapist say?” This
110 Brain Hacks

simple switch of perspective increases metacognition. The next brain
hack and accompanying exercise are great tools for building this skill.
BRAIN
HACK Know Your Craving Level
Identify how important it is to you to take an action before you do it.
Remember the example of Ethan at the beginning of this chapter? If he
were more aware of his thought process, he could have asked, “On a scale
of 1 to 10, how much do I really want chocolate milk and doughnuts?”
Ethan might be inclined to say 10, but in assessing it seriously, he may
discover it's really only a 3—a fleeting impulse, rather than a real desire
or need. He may then have considered his options: I can get a coffee and
apple from the cafeteria when I get to work, or I can turn up the radio because
my favorite song just came on, and so on. If it were a higher-level craving,
he could choose to take his lunch break at the grocery store to buy choc-
olate milk and doughnuts, or, recognizing that these aren’t the best food
choices, he could make a plan to avoid future sugar cravings and crashes
by preparing a healthy snack for himself, which he can eat in the car on
the way to work the next morning. Further, he may gain insight that he’d
actually been seeking the thrill he obtains by getting himself in trouble
and having to talk himself out of it.
Be like the thoughtful version of Ethan, and rate your level of craving
to put yourself back in the driver’s seat.
exercise
RATE YOUR LEVEL OF CRAVING
Choose one bad habit to monitor this week. In your journal or notebook,
write this habit down and make a commitment to track it for one week.
It could be anything you feel has a negative effect on your life: maybe it’s
overeating, drinking, smoking, online shopping, gambling, checking social
media all the time, playing video games, watching porn, or even some-
thing as simple as biting your nails.
Each time you have the urge, ask yourself, “On a scale of 1 to 10,
how much do I really crave this?” The simple act of asking this question
Impulse Control 111

inserts a pause between the impulse and the action, thereby limiting
impulsiveness.
Rating the craving is also a form of mindfulness. You are observing the
craving rather than “being” the craving. You might even take another step
and spend a moment labeling the craving as “craving.” Putting a label on
it can create even more distance between the impulse and the action.
At the end of each day, return to your journal or notebook, and take
notes about what occurred to you as you rated your cravings.
BRAIN
HACK Harm Reduction
Think about a behavior that is creating problems for you. Assuming this
is not a serious addiction for which you may need professional help (see
the tip to follow), ask yourself, “How can I reduce the harm this is cre-
ating in my life?” You don’t have to tell yourself you can never do this
particular thing again.
For example, if you have a doughnut-related problem like Ethan, it
doesn’t mean you should never have another doughnut. It means you
should figure out a way you won’t feel driven to get the doughnut no
matter the consequences. In this case, you could keep a box of dough-
nuts at work to avoid the impulsive decision to stop for one on your way
there. This way, you’ll get to work on time and avoid the reckless driving.
Whatever your problem is, get creative and figure out ways to reduce the
harm your behavior might cause.
tip
When to Look for Professional Support
If you rate cravings for any behavior at a seven or above and
continue to do that behavior even when it’s causing you problems,
consider reaching out for help from a professional to be evaluated
for an addiction or mood disorder. While these brain hacks are help-
ful tools, you will likely need professional support for more severe
issues in this area.
112 Brain Hacks

BRAIN
HACK Know Your Strengths
Many impulsive behaviors are the result of feeling threatened by criticism
or uncertain about where we stand. However, the threat itself is not nec-
essarily based on fact but on the automatic assumption that you’re being
insulted or that you’re somehow on shaky ground. For example, you may
feel criticized when your boss gives you some corrective feedback and
fear that your job is at risk, so as soon as you get home you smoke pot to
check out. Or maybe, right after your boss shares his feedback, you hop on
social media to see what everyone’s doing. Becoming aware of when your
thoughts take this route allows you to come up with a plan to refute them.
A great brain hack here is to become clear about your strengths. This
way, you’re better able to respond rationally to criticism. Knowing your
strengths also reveals what your strengths aren’t (aka what your weak-
nesses are), and you can advocate for yourself or get support in that area.
For example, if your boss tells you that your paperwork is late, rather than
assuming the worst and impulsively displaying negative behavior, you can
pause and say something like, “Yes, you’re right. As the top salesperson
at the company, that’s not one of my strengths. Can I get administrative
support so I can keep my focus on making the sales?”
The more you know your strengths, the less threatened you will feel
when you get feedback in both professional and social contexts. You
can communicate from a perspective of problem-solving rather than
defensiveness, hurt, or anger. You can start identifying your strengths
right now.
exercise
STRENGTH FINDER
In your journal or notebook, list your three greatest strengths. Even if
you have trouble with impulsivity, do you excel in one of the key areas
of executive functioning? Write that down as a strength. Maybe you are
analytical, diplomatic, a leader, a connector, a good speaker, a details
person, a good artist, etc. Really work to identify these great things about
yourself. Then, respond to the following prompts to dig a little deeper.
Impulse Control 113

Write three paragraphs, each describing a different time in your life
when you felt most appreciated.
Write about the three biggest successes you’ve had.
Write about the three biggest challenges you have overcome and
which personal qualities helped you navigate those challenges
successfully.
You can scan these pages to a PDF to keep them on your phone whenever
you need a quick reminder. You can even set reminders in your phone to
look at these pages to boost your confidence from time to time.
tip
Assess Yourself
If you are really struggling to identify your gifts, consider taking
the CliftonStrengths Assessment. This online tool can help you
figure out your natural talents and how to develop them. (See the
Resources section on page 132.)
Pause/Plan
It’s great to pause when you feel an urge or craving, because this gives
you the space you may need to turn your attention to something else and
bypass the impulsive behavior. Sometimes, though, it helps to have a
plan of action—something you can do instead. This requires additional
thought. The next brain hack can help you take a simple pause a few
steps further. The exercise that follows will help you create a plan before
going into a situation, so you can act deliberately—the opposite of being
impulsive.
BRAIN
HACK Learn to STOP
Survival-training programs often advise that if you find yourself lost or in
a dangerous situation, you need to STOP—that is, Stop, Think, Observe,
114 Brain Hacks

and Plan. If you think of an impulsive behavior as a potentially dangerous
situation—which it sometimes is—steer yourself into survival mode and
remind yourself to STOP as soon as you feel the urge or craving.
How might this play out in real life? Let’s say you go to happy hour
for a drink with your coworker after work to talk about some office drama.
You only plan to have one drink, because you still need to drive home and
cook dinner. After you have a few sips of your drink, you start loosening
up. You chat away, and before you know it, your glass is empty. You feel
the urge to have another drink, although you’d only planned to have one.
Before you call the bartender over: STOP.
You wait to call the bartender over because you’re busy thinking. A
second drink will impair your ability to drive later, and it also might lower
your inhibitions and lead to a third drink. Observe your thoughts in this
moment. Were you just thinking of telling your coworker something you
were told in confidence, and is it possible you’d tell them after a second
drink? What might the consequences of that be? You would likely risk the
other person’s ability to trust you. What if you drive under the influence?
You may get into an accident. What if you’re not home in time to cook
dinner? Will someone besides you go hungry?
Now, make a new plan. Ask the waiter for a glass of water or some-
thing from the soda fountain.
exercise
PLAN TO BE DELIBERATE
The word deliberate, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, means
“to think about or discuss issues and decisions carefully.” Being delib-
erate likely isn’t second nature to you if you struggle with impulsivity, so
planning to be deliberate before going into a situation increases your
chances of not acting impulsively.
Using the example of grabbing a drink with your coworker, set a
goal before you arrive at happy hour. Maybe your goal is to increase the
support network at work and learn more about hidden dynamics so
the office can run more effectively. Notice that your goal is not to reveal
confidential information or gossip. If you keep your goal clear when the
Impulse Control 115

temptation arises to have another drink or to reveal confidential informa-
tion, you will resist. To deliberate is to take a pause to determine if your
temptation is in alignment with your personal goals.
In your journal or notebook, jot down an upcoming event, such as a
high-stakes meeting, a social gathering, or even an after-work happy
hour, and answer the following questions:
What is my goal for this event?
What sort of things might happen during this event that will make
me need to remind myself to STOP?
What phrases can I use to delay sharing exactly what I’m thinking?
At a meeting, maybe you can say, “I will take that under consider-
ation and get back to you,” or “Can I get that in writing?” In a social
situation, maybe you can say, “That’s an interesting topic. Let me
think about that for a moment.” This will buy you some time to think
and respond deliberately rather than impulsively.
Practicing Social Observation

Some people may look at your impulsiveness and see an uninhibited per-
son who finds it easy to make interpersonal connections. Others may see
it as an uncomfortable violation of their boundaries. If you impulsively
speak your mind (that is, if you tend to be verbally impulsive), you may
offer those around you colorful, moment-by-moment commentary about
what’s going on. You may also accidentally offend people.
Imagine a friend mindlessly sharing each internal reaction she has
with you without passing her thoughts through an internal check of
whether or not those comments are helpful or kind. This might come out
in a live stream of angry outbursts if your friend’s emotional regulation
skill needs work. It can also lead to embarrassment if someone else, like
a friend or partner, is present and your friend is oversharing. Maybe this
describes you—not your friend. This is the opposite of a conscious con-
versation, as described in the following brain hack.
116 Brain Hacks

BRAIN
HACK Conscious Conversations
You have three great options to choose from here, but using them all is
your best bet for training your brain to cure that verbal impulsiveness:
Ask yourself, “Can I hold back in this moment?” Some

people find that asking yourself a question is more effective than
affirming to yourself, “I can hold back. I can hold back.”
Don’t assume that just because your family thinks over-
sharing is charming, others in the real world think the
same. Actively seek feedback from friends or your partner about
your social reactions. You may have heard this feedback before
but didn’t take it seriously. Maybe you dominate conversation
with topics that don’t fall within the realm of general interest,
making you seem self-centered when you think you are being
entertaining. Or maybe you reveal profoundly personal details
that make others squirm.
Give helpful, coach-like feedback, rather than delivering
criticism or suggestions in a critical tone. One way to do this
is to use “I” statements (“I suggest trying . . .”) rather than “you”
statements (“You should do . . .”). Also, add some statements of
respect (“You’re good at . . .”).
Delaying Gratification
Most of us hate the idea of delaying gratification, because our brains
think waiting is the same as a hard no. But that’s not necessarily the
case. Delaying just means not right now, but probably later. Imagine a
three-year-old who sees a pudding pop in the refrigerator just before
dinner and is screaming that they want to have it now! Telling that
three-year-old they can’t have it and to stop crying is not the way to get
your desired outcome. Instead, letting the child know he can have it for
dessert after dinner will get him to calm down. And he might even forget
that he wanted it in the first place when he has a full belly. That’s what you
Impulse Control 117

can do for your brain. Saying “later” creates space to use your rational
thought process to think through the consequences of the impulse. The
next brain hack will help you practice this useful skill.
BRAIN
HACK Practice Delay
When you are faced with an impulse, whether it’s to tell someone off or to
eat that piece of cake, tell yourself, “Not now. If I still want it later, it will
be here.” Buying yourself 1 minute, 10 minutes, or 60 minutes can save
you lots of regret. You’ve probably heard the trick of counting to 10 before
taking any action when you’re angry. Even better, take 10 minutes to ask
yourself the following questions:
What are the consequences of this action?

Are there any benefits to this action?
How will I feel about this a week from now?
What is the goal of this action?
Does this action help me achieve this goal?
Does this action contradict any other goals I have for myself ?
For example, eating a piece of cake may fulfill your goal of needing to
feel a sense of pleasure. Maybe you want to try an orange-flavored cake
you’ve been offered because you’ve never tried that type of cake before.
You may realize, however, that eating the cake contradicts your goal to eat
healthy foods and that the cost will be guilty feelings and a sugar crash.
tip
Choose to Delay
It’s up to you to choose how long you want to delay an action.
Maybe you’ll choose 10 minutes, one day, or one week. During this
time, turn to the stress-management tools suggested in chapter 2.
Also, revisit the brain hack Learn to STOP on page 114. If you choose
to delay for a day or a week, you may need additional support, so
ask others for guidance.
118 Brain Hacks

Thinking Long Term
Being impulsive is something that happens on the spur of the moment.
It couldn’t be further from thinking ahead. But because long-term think-
ing is key to helping you carry out your plans and achieve your goals,
it’s definitely something to work on, whether or not you struggle with
impulsivity.
Many times, short-term thinking is based on avoiding unpleasant
realities. For example, John’s daughter recently graduated from college
but still requires his financial support, and he isn’t sure how much help
to give her. When he thinks in the short term, he avoids confrontation
with his daughter by doing anything else that presents itself—washing
dishes, answering e-mails, etc., effectively putting the conversation off
indefinitely. But when John thinks long term, he makes more produc-
tive choices, like setting up an appointment for both himself and his
daughter with a therapist and financial counselor so they can consider
their options. This requires looking ahead with a greater perspective than
would be available if John were simply keeping a narrow perspective.
Sometimes, short-term thinking can be all about trying to escape
what you might consider the drudgery of daily living. The next two brain
hacks help you see from a wider perspective so you can view the long-term
picture and reframe the boredom you might be feeling.
BRAIN
HACK View from a Balcony
When you feel an impulse to take an action, whether it’s buying a plane
ticket for an adventure or pressing “send” on that irate e-mail, transport
yourself in your mind to a high balcony to get a wider, broader view of
yourself and your situation. Tell yourself to step back to gain some
detachment from the moment.
Think of what you are considering in the short term—for example,
buying a plane ticket to take you on an adventure because you are feeling
bored with life. There’s a chance you are avoiding an unpleasant reality.
Impulse Control 119

What might that be? Perhaps you feel overwhelmed by yet another boring
project that has landed on your desk. Buying that plane ticket isn’t going
to lessen the workload or make your work more exciting. In fact, buying
that plane ticket may mean you need to work even harder when you get
back so you can pay off your credit card balance.
Thinking long term, what happens if you keep feeling overwhelmed?
You might suffer burnout. Seeing your situation from the balcony helps
you realize that you simply need a break. You might realize that your urge
to hop on the next plane is actually driven by a realistic need. Now, you
can ask yourself, “How else can I meet this need without racking up a big
bill and shirking all of my duties?” You might realize that you can take a
full day off on Friday, cancel your commitments, and enjoy a three-day
weekend, and see if that helps you feel more balanced. Or maybe a day trip
to a neighboring town or city is all you need.
BRAIN
HACK Outsmart Boredom
Research has suggested that the stimulation seeking that underlies
impulsiveness is caused by a genetic variant—what some researchers
are calling the “restless gene” or the “nomadic gene.” Imagine that your
ancestors were nomads who were constantly on the move. Every time they
saw a horizon, they ran for it. This allowed them to find the resources they
needed to survive. So, in fact, your genetic inheritance might lead you to
feel that living on the edge is necessary for survival, and anything less
than an adrenaline rush might feel like boredom to you. Once you become
aware of this, a pivotal question you can ask yourself when you’re about
to take an impulsive action is, “Am I motivated to do this just to create a
state of brinksmanship?”
Once you recognize that your brain may want to create dangerous sit-
uations simply for the thrill, you can challenge that automatic impulse.
When you do, you may be surprised that you decide it’s just not worth it.
But that doesn’t relieve your boredom, and it probably feels uncomfort-
able. You can find ways to outsmart your brain’s tendency to make you
120 Brain Hacks

take risks to relieve your boredom, for example, by listening to a stimu-
lating podcast or audiobook while driving to eliminate making impulsive
stops on your way somewhere. You can also dispute any self-talk that says
you’re bored by verbally reframing the feeling. The following are a few
examples of reframing, but try to come up with some of your own, too.
This is not boredom; this is calm and ease.

I enjoy this sense of calm and lack of pressure.
I am safe and content with the way things are.
It’s nice to arrive at my destination on time and feeling relaxed.
Avoiding Misunderstandings
Impulsiveness often results in jumping to conclusions about what other
people mean. People are so different from one another in their beliefs,
past experiences, and assumptions about the world, but we still assume
it’s easy for us to understand each other. As a therapist with the inside
scoop on so many lives, I realize that conflict with others is rather pre-
dictable. I sometimes wonder why, if we are all so different, we assume
that others are viewing the world the same way we do. It’s actually a real
achievement when people can understand each other.
A common source of misunderstanding is when one person offers
advice to another, but the other person hears it as a criticism. The question
“What did you mean by that?” can prevent some of those misunderstand-
ings. Maybe that’s why therapy is so helpful; psychologists spend years
training to bracket our own beliefs and attitudes to understand and lis-
ten to where our clients are coming from. It is common for clients to tell
their therapists, “You are the only one I can tell these things to; no one else
understands.” The following brain hack and exercise can help you create a
better listening attitude and keep you from jumping to conclusions.
Impulse Control 121

BRAIN
HACK Assume Nothing
When we are impulsive, we often miss details and are unable to process
all of the information we receive. Rather than start with the assumption
that you “get” what the other person is saying, start with the assumption
that the other person’s culture, education, family upbringing, work expe-
rience, and love history have shaped their perceptions in vastly different
ways from your own perceptions. When someone tells you something,
assume you have a mystery to solve regarding how that person sees the
world. Consider that their words may point to something vastly different
from what it seems like they are pointing to. Instead of being the driver of
a car in charge of getting you to your destination, imagine that you are a
passenger, observing and trying to take it all in.
exercise
THE “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” EXPERIMENT
To create a habit of asking questions that will give you more information
and moderate your initial impulse, set a goal to ask, “What do you mean?”
five times this week in various settings. Set a reminder on your phone
throughout the week so you remember to give this experiment a try.
You can play with this question in your journal or notebook, coming up
with alternate versions of the question, such as “Can you tell me more?”
or “Can you explain that in a little more detail?”
Jot down a list of situations in which you might ask such questions.
For example, if your boss gives you feedback at work, you can ask, “Can
you give me a little more detail about how that would look when it’s com-
plete?” During a political discussion, you can ask, “What will that action
accomplish?” During a discussion with your partner, you can ask, “What
do you think caused that?” When your social-media “addicted” friend tells
you that he just joined a new social-media platform, before rolling your
eyes, you can ask, “What are the features on this one?”
122 Brain Hacks

Takeaways
Multitasking, especially with regard to impulsively using tech-
nology, increases your chances of making mistakes, both major
and minor.
When you think of your options before you give in to an urge,
you can keep yourself from having knee-jerk reactions and rec-
ognize opportunities or better choices you didn’t see before.
Monitor your level of craving by engaging in a habit or pattern
that inserts a pause between the urge and the activity.
When you take a wider perspective, you may discover that your
impulses are pointing you to a need you may be able to fill in a
less dangerous or costly way.
“Living on the edge” may be embedded in your genetic code, but
you can outsmart your brain by reframing what would other-
wise feel like boredom.
Impulse Control 123

Chapter Seven
Your Road
to Success
Congratulations!
Brain Hacks is a guide for redesigning your life by harnessing the power
of your brain’s executive functioning. That’s why this book is not some-
thing you read and put away. This is the blueprint for living the life of
your dreams. But now you actually have to build that life by converting
everything you’ve learned and practiced here into real-life actions.
Give yourself lots of credit for all the work you’ve already done. Did you
notice any shifts? Perhaps you learned that resistance is constant and that
simply shifting your attention to how good you will feel when you have
overcome it can increase your motivation. Maybe you also learned that
once you get something started, even if your goal is only 2, 10, or 15 min-
utes of work, you might just keep on going. Pat yourself on the back for
that. Noticing your own progress is one of the greatest built-in motivators.
Hopefully, you have learned that you can set a goal, create a plan to
work toward it, and organize yourself to achieve it. You have practiced
the ability to direct your attention to start a task, regulate your moods,
manage your time, and much more.
But in order for all your new skills to really take hold, you’ll have
to find ways to keep practicing. If that sounds like a boring homework
assignment to you, think back to the strategy we learned on page 30, and
remember the “why” of what you’re doing.
Hacking Your Way to Happiness

The need to hack our brains is especially necessitated by the technologi-
cal revolution that gives us moment-to-moment updates on world events
and access to unlimited entertainment in the palm of our hands. Never
before have there been so many distractions that are so easy to access.
One brain hack that could have the most powerful impact on your life is
asking yourself, “How many hours a day do I spend on my phone or other
devices, and what can I accomplish instead in that same amount of time?”
This can make the difference between posting selfies all day and finding
126 Brain Hacks

a lifelong partner, or it could be the difference between scrolling through
social media and starting a business, finding the perfect job, becoming an
expert in something, or spreading kindness.
All the hacks in this book are designed to enhance positive motiva-
tion and create happiness, because, when it really comes down to it, being
happy with your life is your ultimate “why.” But it does take effort. We
humans find ourselves in a predicament—we evolved to survive and pass
on our genes; we did not evolve to be happy or feel fulfilled at work or any
of the many other things we now see as essential to living well. Focusing
on fearful thoughts was part of our evolution—it kept our ancestors alive
back when early humans were surrounded by natural predators. We were
built to scan our environments for threats, so we’re more likely, among
other things, to focus on the negative than on the positive. As an early
human, the more prone you were to interpret a rustle in the tree as a
threat, the more likely you were to survive. It didn’t matter that most of
the time you might have been wrong and you would be creating a lot of
stress for yourself. What mattered were the times you were right.
Because humans evolved to scan for threats to survive in the wilder-
ness, you will not easily “find” happiness, even if you land that perfect job
or mate. Because your brain is still scanning for threats, you will always
be able to find reasons not to be happy. Becoming the boss of your brain
is an evolutionary leap. To find lasting contentment and fulfillment,
you’ll need to find a workaround to your brain’s natural tendencies to see
threats where there are none. Happiness—it’s the ultimate brain hack!
Find the Best Strategies for You

After experimenting with several of the tools in this book, select those
that you have the least resistance to, and repeat them every day. The
simplest one in the whole book is setting a timer for two minutes and
getting started on a task. This tool works as a brain hack in another way.
For many people, the most resistance is to task initiation, or just getting
started. Many people I work with who have tried this report that, once
Your Road to Success 127

they started, they kept going for 15 minutes of more. So, if the main bar-
rier is task initiation, this daily 2-minute activity could lead to 1 hour and
45 minutes of organization a week, which has the potential to transform
your life.
Review your journal or notebook and highlights from the book to
create prompts for yourself. These can be reminders that pop up on your
smartphone or index cards that you’ve written goals and guidance on. For
example, you can create prompts like “Are my thoughts helping or hurt-
ing me?” or “Practice belly breathing.”
Remember when we discussed that feeling we get on New Year’s
Day in chapter 1? Access that feeling, and look forward with expectancy
toward all the possibilities that await you.
Tune-Ups and Check-Ins

Many of the brain hacks in this book fit into two major themes:
The power of goal setting

The power of choosing your thoughts
While the tools in this book can accelerate your goal getting, you will
want to constantly revisit your goal setting. Unless you program a des-
tination into your life plan, you likely won’t find yourself getting there.
It can be hard to juggle your career goals, relationship goals, health and
fitness goals, and adventure goals. Think of goal setting as fun, just like
creating your birthday wish list when you were a kid. Sit down and think
of all of the things you really want.
Choosing your thoughts allows you to overcome one of the biggest
obstacles to achieving your goals: self-doubt. Once you realize that you
don’t have to believe your own thoughts or feel oppressed by them,
a whole new world opens up for you. You can work hard to challenge
the self-doubt, substitute it with a list of your successes, suppress that
128 Brain Hacks

thought, throw it away, exile it from the kingdom of your life, recognize
that it is ruining your life, ignore it, pay no attention to it, distract your-
self from it with something productive, or direct your mind to reading
this book to remind yourself that you are the boss of your brain.
Post-Test
SELF-ASSESSMENT
Go back to the assessments at the beginning of the book. You assigned
yourself a rating on each of the five executive functions. Retake the
assessments to see if you made some small improvements. If you notice
even a one or two-point shift in the positive direction, recognize how
powerful that can be. Imagine your life as a train headed toward a des-
tination, but you want to go somewhere else. If you move the train track
even one foot toward your new destination each time you make progress,
you will begin to direct yourself closer and closer to your goal.
Look back through the notes you took throughout this process, and
review some of the goals you set for yourself. Have you made any prog-
ress on those goals? Have you increased your motivation and confidence
to meet those goals? The way forward is to continue to use these tools
and create new habits. Focus on one of the habits you learned from this
book for two weeks, and practice it daily.
Sustain Your Gains

Think back on all of the effort you dedicated to this process. Which exer-
cises worked the most for you? With these exercises in mind, ask yourself
the following questions:
What changes did I make when I experimented with these

exercises?
How can I keep these changes going?
How can I find support for reinforcing these changes?

BRAIN
HACK Brain Hack Support Groups
You don’t have to go it alone. Consider starting up a Brain Hacks book club
that meets weekly or monthly to review these tools and provide account-
ability buddies to reinforce your learnings. A social-media site, such as
Meetup—where you can create meetings and find community spaces that
can be reserved ahead of time—can help you on your way. An ideal size
for a group would be about six people. Meetings can be set for an hour
and a half, at least once a month.
You may want to have a moderator lead each meeting. The modera-
tor can be the same each week or a different person each time. The basic
goal is to limit contributions so (1) no one monopolizes the group and
(2) tangents don’t go on too long. The moderator is meant to model execu-
tive functioning and keep the group focused on the goals.
You can structure the group around these topics:
Successes experienced after using the tools in this book

Tools that still need to be tweaked and how this could be
achieved
Resources such as schedulers, apps, and personal assistants
Goals for the month
We all need coaches and cheerleaders in our lives. You can create
a group centered on filling these much-needed roles in your life.
Do You Need Professional Support?

As a psychologist, I often wish people would seek out professional help
before their lives are in crisis. Therapy for damage control is a lot harder
that preventive work. You might even consider a mental-health checkup
twice a year, as you would with dental appointments. One person who
came to see me for a session realized that he was on a slippery slope back
to alcoholism. He had been fooling himself into thinking that his recov-
ery was so strong he could have one beer each night. After our session, he
130 Brain Hacks

committed to going back to his 12-step recovery meetings. Sometimes,
one or a few sessions can get you back on track, or you can find a referral
or resource that will help you solve specific problems.
Executive functioning is a broad category. Severe dysfunction in this
area can lead to many different diagnoses. If you wonder if you might
have a clinical diagnosis or need professional support, please seek out
a mental health professional. The most familiar diagnosis is attention
deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Other diagnoses that are related
to a deficit in executive functioning include autism spectrum disorders,
mood disorders, and sensory-processing disorders.
If you didn’t have as much success with these tools as you hoped
or expected, consider consulting with a professional who can help you
narrow in on the deeper reason for the severity of your problems. If this
book serves only to help you get needed professional support sooner
rather than later, that is an incredible accomplishment. Recognize your
bravery in seeking support; there’s no need to be ashamed of it. Therapy
and coaching increase flexible thinking, which will improve all aspects
of your life.
Congratulations again on how far you’ve come. The life you want is
out there, waiting for you to live it.

Resources
At-a-Glance DayMinder Fiverr

Ruled Weekly Planner www.fiverr.com
www.ataglance.com
A directory for finding service workers to
/ataglance/browse/product
hire for different tasks
/DayMinder+Ruled+Weekly
+Planner/G535
Guru
A nondigital planner for visualizing time www.guru.com
on a weekly basis and scheduling in some
brain hacks
Calm Headspace
www.calm.com www.headspace.com
/headspace-meditation-app
A popular app for training in meditation
A popular app for training in meditation
The CliftonStrengths
Institute for Challenging
Assessment
Disorganization
www.gallupstrengthscenter.com
www.challengingdisorganization.org
A great tool for discovering your
A website that helps locate professional
strengths and understanding the best fit
organizers and provides free resources
for you in the world
such as fact sheets and useful links
The Five Minute Journal App

Moodnotes
www.intelligentchange.com/pages
moodnotes.thriveport.com
/five-minute-journal-app
A simple tool for increasing emotional
An app that invites you to list what you
regulation, which allows you to select a
are grateful for and what you can do to
feeling and answer questions to improve
make the day great
your mood
132
Pocket TurboScan
getpocket.com itunes.apple.com/us/app
/turboscan-document-scanner
An app for saving and organizing articles
/id1017559099?mt=8
and creating a reference list
An app that allows you to turn docu-
ments into PDFs; other PDF scanner apps
The SELF Journal
are also available
bestself.co/collections/all/products
/self-journal
A tool that packs in goal setting, progress

Your Brain On Porn
www.yourbrainonporn.com
notes, and a daily and weekly schedule to
keep you on track A website for exploring the negative
impacts of porn and tools for recovering
from overuse
TaskRabbit
www.taskrabbit.com

Resources 133
Further Reading
Books
The Clutter Diet: The Skinny on Organizing Your Home and Taking Control of Your
Life, by Lorie Marrero (Reason Press, 2009)
This book is a comprehensive guide to getting rid of clutter, with room-by-
room recipes for organizing.
Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less
Time, by Brian Tracy (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2017)
This book advises you to “eat that frog”—do the thing you have the most resis-
tance to first thing in the morning, so you don’t drag your day down.
5: Where Will You Be Five Years from Today? by Dan Zadra and Kristel Wills
(Compendium, Inc., 2009)
A great book that helps with longer-range planning by breaking down differ-
ent categories of goal setting.
Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health and Happiness, by Qing Li
(Viking, 2018)
Written by a scientific researcher, this book discusses numerous studies on
the powerful real-world impact of time in nature.
The Gift of Adult ADD: How to Transform Your Challenges and Build on Your
Strengths, by Lara Honos-Webb, PhD (New Harbinger, 2008)
This book discusses the upside of executive dysfunction, based on research
that supports the theory that creativity, social connection, and intuition can
come from a state of unfocus.
The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want under Everything You Own, by Joshua
Becker (WaterBrook, 2016)
This book explores the benefits of minimalism, which is the movement toward
owning less and therefore organizing less and reducing the impact on the
environment.
134
Online Content
“How to Pick a Career (That Actually Fits You),” by Tim Urban

(https://waitbutwhy.com/2018/04/picking-career.html)
This blog post is a humorous and comprehensive examination of jobs in the
current economy.
“Set Phone Reminders for Anything: Outsource Your Memory,” by David Nield
(https://www.popsci.com/set-phone-reminders)
This is an article on how to set reminders on your smartphone using Android,
iOS, and apps.
Further Reading 135

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Index
A C
Accomplishments, 37–38 Career, 29–30, 72
Accountability partners, 55 Cognitive flexibility
Anxiety, 25, 27 assessment, 12–13
Approval-seeking, 71 changing gears, 80–81
Apps having a plan B, 75–77
meditation, 28 ignoring contradictory rules, 82–83
portable office, 64 overview, 7, 68–69
task organization, 59 problem-solving, 69–72
Artificial-intelligence seeing yourself from different
personal assistants, perspectives, 73–75
63–64 unsticking your mind, 78–80
Assumptions, 121–122 Command centers, 52–53
Attention and focus Cravings, 111–112
assessment, 9–10
mixing up tasks, 39–42
D
overview, 6, 24–25
Dating sites, 77
self-instruction and
Distractions, 33–35
moral support, 35–38
Dread, sense of, 37–38, 55–57
sustaining attention, 28–35
Dreaming, 79
working memory, 25–28
Avoidance, 55–57
E
“Eat the frog,” 37
B Emotional regulation
Belly breathing, 27–28, assessment, 14–15
89–90 body-mind connection, 91–93
Biophilia, 41 building resilience, 93–97
Body-mind connection, identifying emotions, 88–91
91–93 managing negative
Body scanning, 92–93 emotions, 97–103
Boredom, 120–121 overview, 7, 86–87
Brain, 3, 18 Entropy, 78
Brain hacks, 4–5 Executive functioning
Breathing, 27–28, 89–90 defined, 2–4
Brinkmanship, 106 styles of, 6–7, 8–17
140
Exercise, 26, 91–93 Interests, 29–30
Exoskeletons, 63–64 Inventorying belongings, 48–49
Exposure therapy, 56–57, 76–77
J
F Jumping to conclusions, 121–122
Failure, 76–77
Feelings, 88–91
L
Fixed mind-set, 68–69
Long-term thinking, 119–121
Focus. See Attention and focus
Loss, 90, 98–99
“Focus dose,” 40
Frustration, 37
Fun, 78–79 M
Meditation, 28
Mental organization, 47
G
Metacognition, 110–114
Goal-setting, 30–31, 128
Mind-set, 18, 68–69
Gratification, delaying, 117–118
Mission statements, 41–42
Grief, 90, 98–99
Misunderstandings, 121–122
Growth mind-set, 68–69
Motivation, 36–38
Movement, 26
H Multitasking, 108–109
Habits, 78–80
Happiness, 126–127
N
Harm reduction, 112
Nature, 41
Needs, 99–101
I
Negative emotions, 97–103
Impulse control
Negative thinking, 96–97
assessment, 15–17
Neuroplasticity, 18, 21
avoiding
misunderstandings, 121–122
becoming aware of thought O
processes, 110–114 Options, 109–110
considering options, 109–110 Organization. See Planning and
deciding what not to do, 107–109 organization
delaying gratification, 117–118 Organization plans, 50–51
overview, 7, 106–107 Oversensitivity, 87
pause/plan, 114–116
practicing social P
observation, 116–117 Pause/plan, 114–116
thinking long term, 119–121 Permission-seeking, 82–83
Inner compass, 72 Personal bubbles, 71
Inner critic, 35 Perspectives, different, 73–75
index 141
Physical activity, 26 Social observation, 116–117
Plan B, 75–77 STOP strategy, 114–116
Planning and organization Strengths, 113–114
assessment, 10–12 Stress, 24–25, 27
initiating tasks, 53–57 Support, 63, 100–101, 112, 130–131
narrowing focus, 58–60
overview, 6, 46–48 T
prioritizing, 57–60 Task initiation, 53–57
the right tools at the right Technology, 61, 63–64
time, 48–53 Thoughts, 90–91, 128–129
time management, 60–64 Time management, 60–64
Pomodoro technique, 39 To-do lists, 58–60
Power naps, 40 Triage, 57–60
Prefrontal cortex, 3, 18
Prioritizing, 57–60, 61 U
Problem-solving, 69–72 Uncertainty, 101–103
Procrastination, 54–57 Unsticking your mind, 78–80
Professional support, 112 Urges, 107, 109–110
Progress tracking, 33
V
R Visualizations, 90–91
Rejection, 76–77
Resilience, 93–97 W
Rewards, 32 Weeding, 52
Role-playing, 70–71 Working memory, 25–28
Routines, changing, 78–80
S
Self-coaching, 36
Self-doubt, 128–129
Self-talk proficiency, 35
Smartphones, 34–35, 61
142 index
About the Author
Lara Honos-Webb, PhD, is a clinical psychol-

ogist licensed in California. She is author of The
Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book, The
Gift of Adult ADD, The ADHD Workbook for Teens,
and Listening to Depression. Her work has been fea-
tured in USA Today, Newsweek, Wall Street Journal,
U.S. News & World Report, Chicago Tribune, and
Publishers Weekly, as well as newspapers across the country and local
and national radio and television programs. Honos-Webb completed a
two-year postdoctoral research fellowship at University of California,
San Francisco, and has been an assistant professor for graduate students.
She has published more than 25 scholarly articles. Visit her website at
www.addisagift.com.

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Brain H acks

LARA HONOS-WEBB, PHD

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted

Designer: Debbie Berne

ISBN: Print 978-1-64152-160-4 | eBook 978-1-64152-161-1

1W hat Is Executive Functioning? 1

Let’s look at a quick example of executive functioning in action to

What Is Executive Functioning? 3

How to Use This Book

What Is Executive Functioning? 5

1 Focus & Attention: This executive function allows us to

2 Planning & Organization: This executive function ensures that

4 Emotional Regulation: This executive function helps us thrive

5 Impulse Control: This executive function helps us look before

What Is Executive Functioning? 7

What’s Your Executive “Style”?

Attention & Focus

What Is Executive Functioning? 9

1 Does your partner or another significant person in your life com-

2 Do you depend on frequent rewards to stay focused on and com-

4 Do you use substances like coffee, energy drinks, or nicotine to help

5 Have you been in a relatively high number of car accidents or near

6 Do you engage in dangerous, adrenaline-pumping activities to help

7 At work, do you find yourself surfing the Internet or shopping online,

8 Do people in your environment complain that you are distracting

10 Do you find yourself not contributing to meetings because you don’t

Organization & Planning

10 Brain Hacks

Organization & Planning Assessment

1 Do you have multiple calendars, schedulers, and apps to manage

2 Do you miss out on opportunities because you forget to follow up

3 Do you have a hard time operating technology that requires follow-

4 Do you have difficulty completing household tasks that require

5 Do you lose important documents and have a hard time remember-

What Is Executive Functioning? 11

9 Do your friends and family complain that your space—and maybe

10 Have you ever accidentally thrown out an important check, docu-

12 Brain Hacks

Cognitive Flexibility Assessment

1 When other people give you feedback for improvements or changes,

3 Do you have a hard time interacting with others in a way that

6 If you work in a setting where many requests are made of you or

8 Do you find yourself getting frustrated, depressed, angry, and/or sad

10 Do people complain that you tend to minimize other people’s ideas

What Is Executive Functioning? 13

14 Brain Hacks

3 Have you often been told you are too sensitive?

4 If you have a conflict with a friend, do you imagine worst-case sce-

5 If you don’t do as well as you expected on a test or performance

6 If a friendship ends, do you find it difficult to believe you’ll develop

7 Have others described you as a “yeller” or “screamer”?

8 Do you use drugs or alcohol to calm down after a stressful day?

10 Are you a people pleaser who is afraid to say no to unreasonable

What Is Executive Functioning? 15

Impulse Control Assessment

3 Do you find your relationships on shaky ground because you said

6 Do you indulge in daring activities despite the consequences of

16 Brain Hacks

8 Do you skip out on commitments with people if something more fun

10 Have you ever made a poor business decision because someone

Why You Should Strengthen Your

What Is Executive Functioning? 17

18 Brain Hacks

What Is Executive Functioning? 19

1W hat Is Executive Functioning? 1

Make some noise. Inhale deeply, and, as you exhale through

Create a list of 10 actions you can take to be in an ideal job or start

Use a concrete reward for the most difficult or unpleasant tasks.

Your cheerleader: “Keep going! You can do it.”

What are the potential obstacles to completing this task?

Choose a task and try giving it two minutes of focused attention.

Choose one of your high-resistance tasks, and figure out how to

What do I believe in?

What do I stand for?

Why do I do what I do?

What do I need to follow through on to achieve my mission?

What things don’t I need to do?

If someone unexpectedly drops by, my home looks good enough for

It is easy to find important documents that I rarely need but are

Organizing my home and office, at least on the surface, is a regular

I have a place for everything I own and use containers effectively.

I can easily find my tools in my garage or tool bench.

My craft supplies each have their own bins and boxes.

What strategy can you use to manage and separate your

What strategy can you use to organize your virtual desktop

What are the benefits of procrastination?

What are the costs of procrastination?

What’s at stake if you don’t get this done?

What are the benefits of completing this task?

Phone calls you need to make

Appointments you need to make

Things you need to buy