Love, Dating

and
Relationships
Has anyone perfected the art of the first date? Just wondering,
because it sure as heck ends up more awkward than not. Raise your
(virtual) hand if you’ve been on a dinner date searching for anything—
anything—to talk about because you’ve already breezed through your
planned points of conversation.

“A lot of people suggest just going out for dinner and a drink, although
I don’t think that’s really that effective,” says Marisa T. Cohen,
PhD, relationship scientist and coach. “If you’re in a noisy, crowded
place, you’re not going to be able to have these deep conversations
that allow you to suss out whether or not you like this person.”

Instead, Cohen recommends planning a date where you can show off
your amazing personality. For me, that might be lending my know-
how during a pottery workshop, a new hobby I picked up where I can
flex a different creative muscle.

After all, the point is to stick out in the pool of potential suitors, right?
Just like you might be queuing all up the Hinge hotties, the person on
the other side is doing the same. “You want to be able to do something
that’s not the same cookie cutter experience that everyone else is
having over a meal,” Cohen says.

Since the anxiety that comes with planning a memorable date

is very real, here's a prepared a list of not-so-boring first date ideas to
get the fling off to an exciting start—even if it ends there. And as the
saying goes, “it’s either a great experience or a great story.” Let’s go
date:

1. Catch a performance in the park

“I’m a big proponent of experience-based dates,” Cohen says. Imagine
a warm summer night listening to a jazz quartet over a shared bottle of
wine. Live music is always a good move, but this strips away the
pressure of committing to a concert together. This way, the more
casual atmosphere allows you to see your date, chat, and leave when
you want.

2. Go axe throwing
Howdy, partner. Don your favorite plaid shirt and show off your
badass side—and that you won’t be messed with. A boost of adrenaline
also bodes well for your budding connection. “Research shows if
you’re able to get your physiological arousal level up, you wind up
attributing it to the person you’re with,” Cohen says. “You feel like
you’re more into them.” No wonder the Bachelorette dates are
bungee-jumping bonkers.

3. Plan a progressive dinner

Here’s a twist on the typical dinner date: Instead of grabbing a table at
your go-to date spot, agree on a neighborhood and visit different
places for drinks, appetizers, dinner, and dessert. You’ll try out new
restaurants and bars, but without the stiff interview feeling typical
dinner dates bring. If all goes well, you can add a nightcap to the
itinerary.

4. Get sporty (at a bar)

There are two types of people in this world: those who get heated over
company softball league games, and those without an athletic bone in
their body. Opt for a bar with ping pong tables, shuffleboard, and the
like. Make a cheeky bet, and see what kind of competitive streak you’re
working with.

5. Take a trapeze class

Why not? Maybe don’t waste this one on any old Hinge boy, but for
someone you’ve casually hung out with already, says Meredith
Golden, adating coach and expert. “Take the pressure to talk off the
table and just have some light fun enjoying an activity together.”

6. Visit a botanical garden

Pop into a sauna of an indoor botanical garden, or wander outside at a
Japanese garden to get in touch with your inner flora lover. Your
Instagram Story will thank you.

7. Tour a brewery
Now this one's hip as heck. Day drink at a local brewery, and snag a
spot on a tour of the facilities. You’ll get to see each other in a
vulnerable state: wearing science class-esque safety goggles.
8. Take a bike ride
Rent bikes on a sunny afternoon and take turns deciding where to stop
off, like a pretty park or local coffee shop for a latte pick-me-up. As
you pedal along, Cohen suggests checking in with yourself. Can you
see yourself riding down the same path ~of life~ with this person?

Want to know the Secret of Making a Person Fall in Love with You?

9. Have a picnic
Now, a picnic might sound more romantic than it actually turns out.
Have your way with the Whole Foods hot bar and grab a canned wine
or two. Just don’t forget the blanket—no first date “my butt is wet”
horror stories allowed.

10. Visit an arcade

Embrace your inner child and play some Skee-ball, laughing along the
way. While you’re waiting for the air hockey table to open up, it’s a
perfect time to get to know one another. “During that first date
conversation, it's a lot about getting to understand one another’s
[personalities],” Cohen says.

11. Karaoke
Comfort zone? Don’t know her. Instead of asking, “What’s your go-to
karaoke song?” on a date, why not show it? Cohen says performing in
front of other people can get your heart beating fast, an experience
that will bring you closer to your date.

12. Go to a board game bar

We’re making an exception for first dates that involve drinks for
nostalgia's sake. Board game bars are typically cozy and low-key, so
you can nurse a drink in between games of Connect Four. Share
stories from your childhood, or recent game nights with friends. You’ll
fall into those intimate conversations Cohen says are so important.
13. Have a beach day
Like long walks on the beach? Same. Use your beach day to "let other
person into your world, and hopefully you share some of these
interests together,” Cohen says. Regardless of how it ends, you’ll get a
healthy dose of vitamin D.

14. Get your tarot cards read

Woo-woo or not, getting your cards read lets you into your date's
mind. You can’t help but breach those vulnerable topics like love, your
place in life, and everything in between that helps you understand one
another on a deeper level, Cohen says.

15. Go to a cabaret or drag show

It’s impossible not to have a good time at a cabaret or drag show.
Drinks are flowing, good vibes are in the air, you're cheering on the
performer, and you can let loose with your date. It’s all about feeding
off of each other's energy. What more could you want?

16. Go on a boat
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream of love. Too much?
Okay, so you might not feel comfortable enough to hop in a kayak with
a first date (understandable). In that case, a sightseeing boat tour is
the move—as long as no one gets seasick.

17. Go to the zoo

First date talk can be exhausting even for the biggest chatter of them
all, says Golden. Date fatigue is real. So if things get stale? Focus
instead on that lioness that's giving you the eyes.

18. Visit a bookstore

You can tell a lot about a person based on the books they read—and if
they comfortably navigate a bookstore. Trade recommendations and
get a peek into your date’s interests bookcase by bookcase. And if
you’re lucky? You’ll catch a poetry reading.
19. Go rock climbing
Belay, baby! Test your sense of trust right out of the gate, and take
your attraction to new heights. “You’ll come away from it like, ‘My
heart’s beating so fast, it must be that this person is so wonderful,’”
Cohen says.

20. Take a walk

Just like a casual beach date, strut your outdoorsy self with a hike or
stroll through your favorite park in the city. “We often have deeper,
more substantive conversations when we’re side-by-side rather than
face-to-face,” dating expert Bela Gandhi previously told Women’s
Health. Bonus: maybe you’ll stumble upon a new ice cream shop (a
real love language).

21. Do improve
Stick with me here. Sure, it sounds like a company outing gone wrong,
but it can actually be a fun way to get outside your comfort zone.
“You’re sharing a new experience with this person, so you’re creating a
common bond and a memory for the two of you to have,” Cohen says.
Now swallow your nervousness (and pride) and add “Yes, and…” to
your dating vocabulary.

22. Go to a comedy show

Still not into the idea of embracing your inner Ali Wong? Hit up a local
open mic night or comedy show. Cohen says sharing a small laugh
together—even at a joke that fell completely flat—is a joint experience
that communicates interest. Besides, you can figure out your date’s
sense of humor and if the vibe is right, post-show drinks keep the
evening going.

23. Visit a speakeasy

While grabbing a vodka soda at a random watering hole take a first
date to snooze town, walking into a speakeasy gives the evening an
exclusive air. And face it: secret(ish) spots are sexy.
24. Make dinner together
Teamwork makes the dream work. Say you and a friend decide to give
your flirtation a real shot—test your compatibility over taco or pizza
night. (Maybe think twice about inviting a random app date to your
digs). And if they can’t handle the heat? They gotta get out of the
kitchen.

25. Go for brunch

Flip the script and go for a day date, preferably where cinnamon rolls
are involved. The ambiance will be more low-key and you can chat
without needing to yell about your life’s greatest passion from across
the table. Then it’s up to you if you want to extend the date or just
bounce. “You don’t want to get stuck on a first date in an escape room
or at a concert if you realize twenty minutes in that you aren’t
interested,” Golden says.

26. Browse a record shop

As with a bookstore date, music taste reveals a lot. And it’s an easy
way to weed out those annoying music snobs (if someone knocks my
Harry Styles love, I’ll ghost). Flipping through records is also a great
conversation starter: you can talk about your dad’s favorite tunes,
what you grew up listening to, your first concert...you get the idea.

27. Take a cooking class

This could be the difference between locking down a gourmand or a
person who’s idea of “cheffing it up” is making grilled cheese. Cohen
says cooking classes can get you out of your comfort zone. Even
better? No need to make dinner reservations (as long as nothing goes
terribly wrong).

28. Go golfing
Working on your stroke? Get that green on the mini golf course where
a little flirty competition will keep things exciting.
29. Visit a museum
So many options. Pondering hidden messages in modern art? Gallery
time. Into exploring the seas? See you at the aquarium. Time traveling
type? Meet up at the natural history museum. You’ll come away with
an understanding of how your date sees the world and what they’re
drawn to.

30. Go bowling
Hold the blue ball jokes—and we hope your date does, too. Bust out
your best moonwalk-in-bowling-shoes dance moves, drink some
watery beer, and heckle your date. The bowling alley keeps the mood
light, so you can simply enjoy the night. Have a ball, as they say.