Reading from Mahabharat 1st chapter Adi Parva and verse number 156.

Dhirtarashtra is continuing
his lamentation. Lamentation is also a very good thing. When your mind is in tension and you are in
anxiety and you can find somebody who can listen to you then this is like catarysis? Big relief and
you can release all you emotions. So Dhirtarashtra lost his sons all his kingdom everything now there
is no one. Of course pandavas are treating him nicely but he was also feeling a little bit embarrassed.
These are the same people he was fighting all his life he cheated them tried to kill them now he is
living with them by their mercy. So he is lamenting to Sanjay his secretary and making his mind a
little light.

yadA.ashrauShaM digjaye pANDuputrai- rvashIkR^itAnbhUmipAlAnprasahya.

mahAkratuM rAjasUyaM kR^itaM cha
So he says that when I heard that Pandavas conquered all great kings on earth and they have
completed big sacrifice called rajasuya then I knew that there is no hope winning over them.

yadA.ashrauShaM draupadImashrukaNThIM sabhAM nItAM

duHkhitAmekavastrAm. rajasvalAM nAthavatImanAthava- ttadA nAshaMse
vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-178
When I hear that draupadi was dragged into assembly of Kauravas when she was in her state of
menstruation and she had only one cloth on her body and although her powerful husbands were
sitting right there but they could not help and she was crying like a helpless cow at that time I knew
that there was no scope winning over the Pandavas. Because that was such an irreligious act which
was done. Then he realises that such irreligious people cannot win over the saintly Pandavas. So this
is when Pandavas lost their kingdom in gambling and duryodhana was very clever and said that you
can put draupadi on stake and if you win then I will give you all the kingdom back. But Yudishthira
lost draupadi also. So now duryodhana order dushasana that now draupadi belongs to us and she is
like a prostitute because only prostitute can have more than one husband. So she is can be brought
to the assembly. And they dragged her right from the palace were she was stayed. She was in this
state of period. And there was custom those days that women used to confine themselves wearing
only one cloth. So in that state they won’t come out in public matters. But she was forcibly dragged.
It was very humiliating both for draupadi as well as for the pandavas. Therefore bhima became so
angry at that time cause he could not tolerate if you are not capable fighting and somebody is
insulting your wife you keep quiet but if someone is capable and still keep quiet this is the limit of
tolerance. And they tolerated it because of Yudihthir. Bhimasena was telling Yudishthir that you just
close your eyes sometime. And he says non of these Kauravas can get out of this assembly I will
crush them into my arms to death. He was so angry. It was described it was like fire was coming from
his body like big ball of fire and sparks are coming from his body. Blood was boiling. But important
thing is that even in that state he kept him under control. Otherwise he could say she is also my wife
and why should I care about you. You are the one who play gambling I didn’t out her on the stake. So
you lost it but not me. Because this is to show how much they were surrendered to Yudishthir
Maharaj. That they will not do anything. That incident is to show only that this is actual surrender
and because of that he was able to tolerate it. Therefore he took vow at that time that I will kill all
the 100 brothers and in this battle everyone was killed by bhimasena. If anyone else has got a
chance them they would stay and say that Bhima has to kill him. And therefore Bhimasena is the one
who killed every one of them. Because he said I will not leave them he says ok today you can escape
because I cannot fight but one day when I will get a chance then you will know who is Bhima. And
what it means to insult draupadi. And then he took a vow that this dhushasan who is trying to
undress her one day I will tear off his chest and drink his hot blood. And when the war was going on
Bhima got a chance to fight with Dhushasan and he throw him on the ground and at that time he
remembered that now I have to take my revenge. And then actually he smashed him left and right
he was so angry he became mad completely mad nobody there to come him. Even the Krishna was
standing there and they wanted to cool him down but even Krishna did not dare to calm him that he
will not listen now to anybody. He says now I have my chance and he beat him up physically with
hands with legs with everything and even kauravas no one dare to come him that time and then
actually he tore off his chest and he drank his blood. And then he was jumping up and down like….
And then he said in my whole life because Bhima was very fond of eating. He says that I have eaten
so many things in my life I drink the milk from the breast of my mother and then I have eaten so
many delicate but there is nothing more tasty than the blood of my enemy. And then he would spit
the blood took long time and then dhushasan was finished it took long time to cool him down. So
you can imagine how you know for the Kshatriya to control anger like this is most difficult thing
therefore Dhirtarashtra says that I knew that there is no chance for my sons to win over them.

yadA.ashrauShaM vAsasAM tatra rAshiM samAkShipatkitavo mandabuddhiH.

duHshAsano gatavAnnaivaM chAntaM tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-179
And when I heard that foolish dhushasan he tried to strip down draupadi completely but he was
unable to do that then I knew that there is no possibility winning over them. Dhushasan actually
tried to make draupadi naked in an assembly but draupadi she cried for Krishna and Krishna
appeared. There are many incarnations of Krishna and this was special incarnation he became sari.
And because God is unlimited then sari became also unlimited. It was like as this was as a shop full of
sari there he was just going on pulling pulling and pulling and there was no end to it. So this was of
course very amazing feat which everybody witnessed and Dhirtarashtra was only hearing about it
therefore he says Yada ashrausham when I heard.

yadA.ashrauShaM hR^itarAjyaM yudhiShThiraM parAjitaM

saubalenAkShavatyAm. anvAgataM bhrAtR^ibhiraprameyai- stadA nAshaMse
vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-180
When I heard that pious Yudhisthira has lost everything in gambling to Shakuni who was playing his
tricks and his kingdom and his powerful brothers simply followed him then I knew that there is no
possibility of being victorious over them. Yadashraham. When they were lost they had to go to the
forest. And they were given a chance that now you go and live for 12 years and then after you have
to live for 1 year incognito but if we find you then you have to go for 12 years again. And then again
live for incognito. So duryodhan thought that he will definitely find then where these people can
hide. And when you find them then they have again go to the forest for 12 years. And these people
just remain forest vasis. Thet will become residents of forest. And then they had to remove their
crown and cloth and everything and dressed like forest people. And dhuryodhana was especially
passing sarcastic remarks on Bhima. He was calling him Bull bull says look at the bull walking. So
bhima was very angry. Why bull? Because he was fat. Just like if you call somebody a dog when you
want to disrespect or you call him pig. So he was disrespecting like bull. Also the word which he used
also meant other meaning the man who does not have moustache because Bhimasena has no
moustache. Although he was quite mature but Kshatriyas they always keep moustache. So Kshatriya
without moustache is not a Kshatriya. He got late. You know some people they get the beard very
early in life some people get late. So what was the age then? Bhima was quite young at that time.
Because they were just married draupadi. So they were Yudhistira was about 25 or something.
Bhima was younger than Yudishthira. So some people they get this beard late. So he was also making
fun of that. Cause Kshatriyas were very proud of their moustache. And in rajasthan you know they
always fight because of the moustache if the lower person goes in front of the Kshatriya and puts his
hand over moustache he will beat him up. He says how you dare to do that in front of me. So
sometomes these people used to go and borrow money. So you know what they will do they would
take one hair from the moustache and give to the person from whom they are borrowing he says
keep this from me with you. And this is my surety that I will give the money back. Because
moustache was like prestige. So there is a saying in hindi. Means I pull this moustache down. Means I
disrespect him. So Bhima was very angry at that time when these people trying to insult him like this.

yadAshrauShaM vividhAstatra cheShTA

dharmAtmanAM prasthitAnAM vanAya. 

jyeShThaprItyA klishyatAM pANDavAnAM

tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-181

When I heard that all Pandavas living in the forest and they are suffering there but still there having
love for each other they are not getting angry or anything like that. And they are performing various
activities in the forest then I realised that there is no possibility wining over them

yadA.ashrauShaM snAtakAnAM sahasrai-

ranvAgataM dharmarAjaM vanastham. 

bhikShAbhujAM brAhmaNAnAM mahAtmanAM

tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-182

When I heard that thousands of brahmacaris, students, brahmanas they were living with them and
yudishthira was feeding them every day then I became hopeless. So when pandavas went to the
forest practically the whole kingdom was falling there because they had so much love for them.They
were talking that if our king is living in the forest how can we live in the house? When king was
treated as God in India. Krishna also says that among from human beings I am the King. So how can
their God can live in the forest and they live in the house so they also went and especially the
brahmanas and many students and of course Yudishthira sent many of them back but still many
went with him. But where to eath how Yudishthira is going to feed them. So then sun God has given
this pot to them and he said that you can get any amount of the food from this pot but once the
draupadi eats and cleans the pot then you cannot get anything. So everyday he will cooking this pot
Draupadi and then give it to everybody and it was unlimited food coming out of that. It was a quite
good solution for food. Instead of doing this farming and doing fertilization and all cancer chemicals
just worship sun god get a pot feed everybody.

109 yadāśrauṣam arjuno devadevaṃ; kirāta rūpaṃ tryambakaṃ toṣya yuddhe

    avāpa tat pāśupataṃ mahāstraṃ; tadā nāśaṃse vijayāya saṃjaya

He says that Oh Sanjaya when I heard that Arjuna had satisfied Lord Shiva who has three eyes and
who is dressed as a kirata like a hunter and Lord Shiva has blessed Arjuna with this weapon known as
Pashupa astra which can actually destroy the whole universe it is so powerful then was no hope for
us to win over them. Arjuna was asked by Yudishthir to go and do austerities and please Shiva and
beg for him because in the forest they were preparing for the battle. They knew that these kauravas
are not gonna give us our kingdom back just like that. So Arjuna went and he was performing
austerities in the Himalayas. Was living like a celibate. And once there were a fight with Lord Shiva.
Lord Shiva came to test and there was one big wild boar which came there and Arjuna was chasing
it. And Lord Shiva came and said dont chase it it is my pig I am chasing it, And then they start
fighting. So Arjuna fought with Shiva and Shiva was pleased with his fighting abilities and then he
revieled himself and gave him the pashupa astra. So all these news will travel because kauravas also
tried to keep spies to find out where are the pandavas what are they doing.

`yadA.ashrauShaM vanavAsena pArthA-

nsamAgatAnmaharShibhiH purANaiH. 

upAsyamAnAnsagaNairjAtasakhyAM-

stadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjarya..' 1-1-184 

When I heard that in the forest many sages are coming and meeting the Pandavas they are living
with them they have become friendly with the pandavas they are blessing them then I lost hope.

yadAshrauShaM tridivasthaM dhanaMjayaM

shakrAtsAkShAddivyamastraM yathAvat. 

adhIyAnaM shaMsitaM satyasandhaM

tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-185 

When I heard that Arjuna he has gone to heaven and he got divine weapons from Indra himself and
he was learning how to use them and everyone was gloryfing the weller and saliviation?? Arjuna in
the heaven. So I lost hope. Once Arjuna has gone to heaven to fight with certain deamons wich are
described in the next verse.

yadA.ashroShaM kAlakeyAstataste

paulomAno varadAnAchcha dR^iptAH. 

devairajeyA nirjitAshchArjunena

tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-186 

There was group of deamons who were known as kalakeya and paulom. And they used to trouble
demigods very much. Indra was not able to kill them so he has sought help of Arjuna. And Arjuna
fought with them and defeated all of them. So this was very wonderful feat which he did there

yadA.ashrauShamasurANAM vadhArthe

kirITinaM yAntamamitrakarshanam. 

kR^itArthaM chApyAgataM shakralokA-

ttadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-187

And then when I heard that Arjuna went to heaven there he fought with these demons and he was
victorious. And Indra became so happy that he gave him a helmet. That's why one of the name of
Arjuna is Kiriti even in bhagavad gita it comes. Kirit means helmet crown. And Indra made Arjuna sit
on it own throne. So this was a big respect which Arjuna got there and everybody was gloryfing him
there as it is said in the verse earlier even his celibacy was glorified because when you are in the
heaven there is good chance to enjoy women. But Arjuna did not do that. And Indra he send Urvasi
because Indra was very please with Arjuna so he thought that Arjuna has to enjoy here. So at night
he send Urvasi to Arjunas room. And when Urvasi knocked on the door Urvasi opened it. He folded
his hands and said yes mother what do you want. So Urvasi was little embarrased and she said dont
call me mother there is no mother here Ive come to enjoy with you. And he said that I respect you
but that is not possible for me to do anything like that here. And then Urvasi became angry because
she also wanted to enjoy with such a person who is come from earth. And is very special. But Arjuna
refused. People would very happy to get something like Urvasi which is one of the beautiful nimbs
they have. But Arjuna refused and then of course Urvasi cursed him that you will become impotent
you will become what you call this yunak?? So of course Arjuna become very sad because he has to
become yunak. So he went and told this to Indra and he said dont worry this will be blessing for you.
Because you will have to live incognito and at that time you will become yunak for one year. So he
actually lived like a yunak for one year. And this became blessing because anyway he had to hide. So
this was blessing. He lived in womans court in the palace nobody would go there to seach him
because no one could imagine that Arjuna will be living like yunak he was so famous hero and the
fighter and is living like a yunak with the women. Teaching them dancing and singing. And he was
dressing like that like women. at least in India they dress like woman.

`yadA.ashrauShaM tIrthayAtrApravR^ittaM

pANDoH sutaM sahitaM lomashena. 

bR^ihadashvAdakShahR^idayaM cha prAptaM

tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya..' 1-1-188 (187) 

yadA.ashrauShaM vaishravaNena sArdhaM

samAgataM bhImanyAMshcha pArthAn. 

tasmindeshe mAnuShANAmagamye
tadA nAshaMsi vijayAya saMjayA.. 1-1-189 

And then I heard that Yudishthira Maharaj he is traveling to various holy places with the sage lomash
who is very famous. And he heard from lomash that Arjuna went to heaven and has attained the
divine weapons then I lost hope. And then I also heard that Bhimasena with brothers went to such
places were human beings cannot go. And that is the land of Kuvera and Himalayas. And they have
made friendship with Kuvera then I lost hope.

yadA.ashrauShaM ghoShayAtrAgatAnAM

bandhaM gandharvairmokShaNaM chArjunena. 

sveShAM sutAnAM karNabuddhau ratAnAM

tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-190 

Once duryodhana he wanted to travel to these pandavas because he thought that they are living in
the forest I can go there and attack them or trouble them there. Because they had no army nothing.
So then he went to the forest on the pretext of doing gosh yatra. Gosh yatra is something like you
know going on a picknick or a .... but when he went there he met some gandharvas he had a fight
with them and these gandharvas they defeated them and they caught duryodhana and made him a
slave. So when Yudishthira Maharaj heard it he told to bhima and arjuna you go there to get him
released. So they said why we should get him released it is good that our enemy got caught. He will
go to hell. So Yudihthira said no no no it is not like this. When we fight with others we are together
only if we have to fight with kauravas then they are enemies but if the third party comes then we
should be together and help them. He says that this is very nice verse actually I dont remember the
verse but the meaning is something like this that when we fight with each other they are 100 and we
are 5 and then we fight with third party then whey are 100 and we 5.

yadA.ashrauShaM yakSharUpeNa dharmaM

samAgataM dharmarAjena sUta. 

prashnAnkAMshchidvibruvANaM cha samyak

tadA nAshaMse vijayAya saMjaya.. 1-1-191 

When I heard that religion personified Yamaraj he came as dissguised as yaksha and he asked
questions to Yudishthira maharaj and Yudishthira Maharaj answered all his questions satisfactorily
when I lost hope. Once the Pandavas living in the forest. Yudishthir became very thirsty so he asked
bhima that you go and look for water. So he climbed the tree and he saw some bird flying, So he said
that there must be some water there. So yudishthir said you bring the water because I am very
thirsty. So when bhima went he actually saw there was a lake. And he started drinking water first
himself and then he thought that he will carry the water. But when he was about to drink the water
he heard the voice from the tree nearby. There was yaksha sitting on the tree and he said dont drink
this water because that belongs to me. And if you want to drink water here first you answer my
questions. But bhima was very pround and he said what the hell this guys is talking like this. And this
water belongs to him this is the forest everybody can drink the water. He drank the water and after
drinking the water he immediately died. And Yudihthira kept on waiting waiting waiting and the
bhima did not come. So then he asked Arjuna that what happened he didnt came back. So Arjuna
also went and same thing happened and like this to Nakula and Sahadev. All the 4 brothers went and
never listened and they were also thirsty so they all died. And then Yudishthira himself came. And he
saw these four brothers lying there and he also wanted to drink water but then this Yaksha spoke.
And Yudhishthira said ask your questions I will answer them. So he asked him 100 questions. and ....
very nice questions. Yudhistira answered them perfectly. And I only remember one question this
answer used to be very popular. That what is the most wonderful thing in this world? So the
Yudhishthira Maharaj said that most wonderful thing that ,,,,,, some verse. That everyday so many
people are dying but the person himself thinks that I will never die. So he says that this is very
wonderful. So in this way he went on answering his questions and then yaksha was very happy with
him. And then he says that I am very satisfied and you can ask two of you brothers I can revive any
time. He says that four of your brothers died because they did not listen to me but I can bring two of
your brothers to live. So Yudhistira said you can bring Bhima and Nakul to life. So yaksha said that
you think again because you have to fight later on with the kauravas why dont you ask bhima and
arjuna. Because Arjuna is such a great hero what you will do with Nakul. Bhima is good he is the
fighter. So Yudhishita said that no I want only Bhima and Nakul. So Yaksha asked why is like that?
Why dont you want Arjuna and Bhima? So he says that the reason is that i have two mothers. Kunti
and Madri. And we three are sons of Kunti and those two are sons of Madri. And if I can ask if she
can revive Nakula and Bhima then both mothers have their sons alive. Otherwise all Kuntis sons are
alive and all Madris sons are dead. So that will not be fair because Madri was not more anyway. So
then Yaksha was very happy to hear this that you are so righteos person and I will revive all of them.
So he said that when I heard these stories then I lost hope of any victory.