Exercise: Perception is projection

Whatever we see in others must be present in some form and at some level in
ourselves. Remember ‘it takes one to know one’.

In this exercise all you need to do is write down some of the traits of outstanding people you
know.

So…. Are there any people in your life that you admire in some way? That have certain traits
that make them stand out? That seem to have talent or a set of special skills that you admire
in some way?

Step 1:

Take a moment now to think about someone with the qualities listed above and then write
down a couple of the things that you really like about that person.

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Step 2:

Next write down how you also share those qualities in greater or lesser intensity or quantity.
Just take the time to notice that you do in fact have those qualities. Maybe you can think of an
entirely different context in which you have the same skills or qualities.

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And now it’s time to be really honest!

You know that person that really irritates you or gets on your nerves or that certain behaviour
that ‘they’ do which gets up your nose!? well remember you couldn’t notice that behaviour in
others if you didn’t first relate to it in some way because it is present within you.

Yep… its going to sting a bit… however look at that person’s behaviour and ask yourself. In
what context or situation do I display similar behaviour albeit in a different intensity or
quantity.

Personally, I find this quite a humbling experience and every time I do this exercise (which I
kind of do on the fly in my head and you could too) I find I am a lot more forgiving and
tolerant of others. Which is generally a lot more pleasant for everyone.