STOP OVERTHINKING:

HOW TO STOP OVERTHINKING AND STOP

PROCRASTINATION. CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS AND STOP
WORRYING, ELIMINATE NEGATIVE THINKING. MAKE A
BETTER DECISION NOW AND DECLUTTER YOUR MIND.
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION......................................................................................................................................3
CHAPTER 1: CAUSES OF MENTAL CLUTTER.............................................................................................7
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF OVERTHINKING?...................................................................................7
YOU SUFFER FROM FREQUENT TENSION HEADACHES..........................................................................16
CHAPTER 2 CHALLENGING YOUR THOUGHTS.......................................................................................18
CHAPTER 3: PRACTICING MINDFULNESS..............................................................................................24
WHAT IS MINDFULNESS?......................................................................................................................24
WHAT IS MEDITATION AND WHEN TO USED IT?...................................................................................29
FREE YOURSELF FROM EXTERNAL CONDITIONING................................................................................36
MAKE YOUR BODY’S ENERGIES PROSPER..............................................................................................40
CHAPTER 4 NEGATIVE THINKING..........................................................................................................43
WHERE DO YOU GET NEGATIVE THOUGHTS FROM?.............................................................................45
5 WAYS TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.....................................................................................46
CHAPTER 5: POSITIVE THINKING...........................................................................................................54
WHAT IS IT AND WHERE DOES POSITIVE ENERGY COME FROM?..........................................................57
5 CHARACTERISTICS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE...........................................................................59
5 WAYS TO GET MOTIVATED IN LIFE.....................................................................................................60
CHAPTER 6: GRATITUDE.......................................................................................................................65
WHAT IS AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE AND BENEFITS OF THIS TO YOUR LIFE?...................................65
CONCLUSION........................................................................................................................................70
Introduction
 

What is Overthinking?

The mind is our more precious tool. But what happens when our thoughts start to get out of
control? Humans are gifted with a superior thinking capacity that sets us apart from other living
beings on this planet. The human brain can create great things like buildings, literature, movies,
novels, and thousands of other inventions that have enhanced our way of life throughout history.
It is remarkable what we can do when we put our minds to it.

Thinking allows us to excel in school, go to college, plan for the future, get a job. No doubt, our
mind is our biggest asset, but what happens when the mind stops being your ally and starts
becoming your enemy? What if your mind starts to get out of control and starts eating away at
your happiness? What would happen if your mind started producing destructive thoughts that
threaten to hold you back in life and ruin the relationships you’ve worked so hard to build?

Overthinking Explained

Thinking too much. That is exactly what it means to overthink. When you spend too much time
thinking instead of taking action, when you analyze and repeat the same thoughts in your mind
but do very little about it, you’re overthinking.

Or how about another, more relatable example of overthinking happening in a relationship. You
send a text to your crush whom you’ve recently started dating. You wait eagerly for their reply,
but an hour pass. Two hours. Three hours. Still nothing from them. Your mind starts to go into
overdrive. Why aren’t they texting me back? Are they busy? Have they lost interest in me? Was
it something I said? Maybe they’re annoyed that I’m texting them first. Maybe they want to
break up with me. Could they be ghosting me? Is it me? Why does this always happen to me?

The Reason Behind It

To be trapped by the thoughts in your mind is torture. Being locked in and unable to escape the
negativity is mental torture. The brain is tricky in that way. Telling it not to think about
something rarely ever works. We naturally want certainty. We want control. We want to know
what’s happening. We want concrete answers to the questions we have. When we don’t get what
we need to satisfy that urge, the brain goes into overdrive, coming up with scenarios of its own.
Why does overthinking happen? Well, along with the ability to think, humans have another
special ability called intuition. Intuition is defined as the ability to immediately understand
something without any need for conscious reasoning. Have you ever been told to “go with your
gut” when you were stuck on a decision that had to be made? “Gut” in this context refers to your
intuition, and it does highlight the fact that your intuitive thoughts are not coming from your
conscious mind. Instead, they stem from your subconscious mind. If you’ve ever experienced
those moments when it feels like your brain is arguing with itself, this is the reason why.

Your subconscious mind sometimes tries to give you answers to the problems you’re facing. You
need to make decisions every day. What makes it scary for a lot of people is how those decisions
determine the direction your life is going and what you’re going to experience next. This can be
an overwhelming notion for many and why overthinking is such a problem. We’re afraid of
regret, and since time continues to move forward instead of backward, it feels like every decision
that is going to impact our life matters. Once a decision has been made, you cannot go back in
time and change the moment. You can’t alter the choice you’ve made most of the time, and you
must live with the consequences of your decisions. The last thing we want is to make a decision
that we come to regret. We don’t want to live with the possibility that we could have experienced
something better if only we had made a different decision. See why overthinking is a big
problem?

Ask anyone you meet, and they’ll tell you that they don’t want to look back on their life with
regret when they’re old one day, wishing they had done certain things differently. To complicate
matters more, we never know what the guaranteed outcome is going to be for most of the
decisions we make. Overthinking happens because the mind is constantly wrestling with the
many possibilities it is faced with. The uncertainty of not knowing which decision is going to be
the best only makes it harder to figure out the right choices to make.

Ultimately, the root cause of overthinking is fear. The seeds that it sows in your mind will prey
upon your thoughts to the point they become out of control. None of us came into this world
being afraid. The fear we experience today is what we’ve developed out of trauma or life
experiences. Even when the traumatic experience has passed, remnants of that fear remain, and
we continue to carry that fear around with us for the rest of our lives. Fear is the poison that
latches unto our mind and, if left unchecked, triggers a lot of the overthinking that happens.
These destructive thought patterns become an inescapable habit once it starts. The more we
overthink, the more fear we invite in. The more fear we invite in, the more unsettled our thoughts
are. It takes considerable effort to break out of this cycle, and without the right support and tools
to do it, it can feel nearly impossible to do.
The Causes

There is always a reason or a cause behind everything that happens. This includes the thoughts
you have. Very rarely do thoughts randomly spring to mind for no apparent reason. When you
catch yourself overthinking, there is always going to be a reason behind it. Something that
sparked that train of thought. It is now up to you to identify what those triggers are. Now, this
may be something you’re reluctant or hesitant to do at first, but it needs to be done nonetheless.
It is important to identify your causes. Only when you know the root cause of any problem can
you then begin to fix it.

You’re not alone. Excessive thoughts are something a lot of people struggle with each day.
We’ve all had those moments where the brain seems to go a mile a minute, and it seems
impossible to quiet all that noise that it’s making. Telling your brain to slow down and stop is not
easy, especially when the brain seems to come up with more problems faster than it can produce
the solution. Let’s look at some of the common excessive thinking triggers:

Trigger #1: social media

Social media usage has skyrocketed within the last decade. We spend more time on platforms
like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat more than we do on any other online space.
What do you do when you find yourself idle or with some free time on your hands? You pick up
your phone and start scrolling through your newsfeed. Whether we like to admit it or not, social
media is changing why and how we do certain things. It is even changing the way we think, and
has become one of the many triggers for the tendency to overthink. Why? Because when we’re
on social media, we start comparing.

We compare the life we have to the ones we see on social media. We compare our lives to that of
our family and friends who seem to be having it all. Someone just got engaged. Someone’s
celebrating an anniversary. Someone else is about to jet off on a holiday you’ve been dying to go
on. Someone just got promoted. When you look at all these, it becomes almost impossible not to
compare. You look at all the smiling faces and enthusiastic announcements and start to think:
Why not me? Why do they seem to have it all? Why can’t I get that lucky? Why does my life
have to be this way? It’s no wonder social media usage has been linked to higher levels of
depression on loneliness. An entire generation is growing up with lower self-esteem levels than
the generation before. As if that wasn’t worrying enough, they’re growing up with higher levels
of anxiety and a penchant for excessive thinking. They don’t want to be obsessed with their
thoughts, but they can’t seem to help it.
Amid all that comparison and overthinking, we forget that not everything we see on social media
is as it seems. The grass will always seem greener than it is on the other side. As excessive
negative thoughts start swimming through our mind, we forget to remember that social media is
where people come to share the positive aspects of their lives. Most people don’t share the
struggles they go through because they don’t want anyone else to know they’re struggling.
Would you share your struggles on social media? Regardless, since social media is a big part of
our lives today, it has unfortunately become one of the biggest contributors to negative/excessive
thinking, low self-esteem, self-doubt, and dissatisfaction.

Trigger #2: Relationship Anxiety

Excessive thinking is a regular occurrence among those who struggle with anxiety and who also
happen to be in relationships, specifically, romantic relationships. Now, relationship anxiety may
not be a common diagnosis under the list of all the other anxiety disorders, but it is common, and
the effects can be as devastating as all the other forms of anxiety. Overthinkers and anxiety
sufferers struggle when they are in a relationship. They constantly seek reassurance or approval
from their partner, looking for validation that they are still loved. When they don’t get the
desired response, they were hoping for; their mind starts going into a tailspin, churning out all
sorts of possible scenarios about why their partner is not responding the way that they hoped.

There could be several reasons why relationships might become a trigger for your excessive
thoughts and anxiety. It could be a bad dating experience you had in the past that left you scarred
to this day. Perhaps you struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. Maybe you’re afraid to
open yourself up to your partner and expose the vulnerable side of yourself out of fear of getting
hurt. Even the fear of getting hurt could send your thoughts and emotions hurtling out of control.
Here’s the interesting bit: People who struggle with relationship anxiety would STILL rather be
in a relationship than be alone. Yet, when they become intimately involved with someone, the
anxiety rears its ugly head and sabotages the relationship, thanks to all the overthinking and
doubt, insecurities, and fears that are present. Without any way of controlling your thoughts or
emotions, they can quickly get out of control, and it won’t be long before you end up pushing
your partner away.

Your excessive negative thoughts will always be at the back of your mind, whispering ideas that
the relationship is either doomed to fail or will eventually fail anyway. For that matter, how do
you be sure that you genuinely love the person you’re with? Where’s the guarantee that the
relationship is going to last a lifetime? How do we know if our partners love us the same way we
love them? Could it be that we love them more than they love us? Overthinkers need constant
validation, guarantees, and the need for control. They crave certainty and the security of knowing
exactly how everything is going to turn out. Unfortunately, that’s not possible.
Chapter 1: Causes of mental clutter

What are the Symptoms of Overthinking?

overthinking to a degree is completely normal; everyone is prone to it at times. Worrying along
with ruminating can even be beneficial tools to find solutions for your troubles. Worry causes
you to imagine the worst-case scenario, such as failing on a test and doing everything you can to
avoid it. While rumination reminds you of your previous mistakes and other negative moments
so that you can ensure that you don't repeat them again. However, overthinking becomes a
problem when it consumes your entire life with anxiety and paralyzes you from taking action.
These are 9 common signs that worry and rumination have taken ahold of your life and how to
resolve them:

Consistent insomnia

Falling asleep is a challenge for all overthinkers. Overthinking takes away your ability to slow
down your train of thought while your racing thoughts gradually paralyze your decision making.
Your mind is always active and becomes too stimulated for sleep; all your worries and regrets
plague your mind, and you can’t escape from your own mental hell. All of this comes together to
create the perfect recipe for insomnia.

To relieve your insomnia, try tranquil activities before going to bed, such as meditating, yoga,
light exercise, creative activities, or even talking to family and friends. Do something that takes
your mind off your thoughts while providing an outlet for your creativity, and especially
emotions.

Fear of the future

If you have an anxious fear of the future, then you are spending too much time in your mind. In
her research, Nolen-Hoeksema found that this fear causes overthinkers to use alcohol and drugs
to cope with anxieties about the future.

To treat this symptom of overthinking, you should have a meditation routine or other activities
that promote mindfulness and living in the moment. Another idea would be to give yourself an
“outlet” for your overthinking. Spend 15 to 30 minutes per day to let lose all your worries by
writing or talking to a loved one. This way, you can continue on with your day without being
burdened by your worries anymore.
Overanalyzing everything

The root problem that all overthinkers have is their need to control everything in their lives. They
need to decide their future, but because they can't foresee it, this causes huge anxiety. They don’t
like handling anything they can't fully control and have a huge fear of the unknown, which
results in sitting and contemplating over every single possibility instead of committing to an
action. In fact, a study from UC Santa Barbara discovered that overthinking actually resulted in
worse decision-making and judgments overall rather than better ones. It seems that your gut
feeling really does have some legitimacy, after all.

To solve this, try to bring yourself back into the present by taking deep breaths and focusing your
thinking on relaxing things when you catch yourself overthinking. Try to focus on how useless
these thoughts are for the present, and this should stop them since you'll find these thoughts
cause nothing but stress.

Excessive Fear of failure

Overthinkers need to be perfectionists in everything they do. They can't face failure and take
efforts to avoid it at all costs. However, this is only possible by doing nothing. The fear of failure
paralyzes the overthinker from the action, so instead of risking failure, they would rather do
nothing to ensure they don't fail.

If this accurately describes you, remember that your past mistakes and failures don't define you.
Remember that failure is required to make any progress in life. Failure enables you to learn,
grow, and improve.

Continually second-guessing yourself

Because they crave flawlessness, overthinkers continually analyze, reanalyze, and triple analyze
any situation therein. They don’t want to come to the wrong decision, so they take a long time to
decide on any choice since they don’t believe in themselves. They are out of touch with their
instinct, so each choice is made logically, and this doesn't always work out. If your brain is so
foggy and hindered down that you can’t make a clear choice, then you’re clearly an overthinker.
Learn to go with your instinct and gut. In case it turns out wrong, at least you learned something
and gained more life experience as a result.

Common headaches

If you have headaches commonly, you likely think too much. Headaches tell our bodies that we
need a break; this applies to our brains as well.
Moreover, you'll find that you think the same things repeatedly if you keep a close eye on your
thoughts. Worriers tend to have negative looping thought systems, so in order to counter this,
gradually switch over to positive thoughts instead. Concentrate on your breathing and
mindfulness, and your headaches will disappear in no time.

Muscle and joint pain

Overthinking can affect you physically after becoming a part of your psyche, and until it gets
addressed, it will continue to manifest itself as phantom muscle and joint pain without any
medical cause. Although overthinking starts in your head, it eventually affects the parts of your
body causing exhaustion and fatigue. To avoid this, exercise regularly and stretch before going to
sleep. This will help you achieve a healthy body and mind. The mind and body are closely
related, so much that a decline in one's condition will negatively affect the other as well.

Fatigue

Being constantly tired indicates a problem that we need to solve. Our bodies need us to pay
attention to the signals that it is sending, rather than continuing to go about our day and ignore its
important messages. While fatigue is normally caused by overworking oneself, overthinking can
also wear you out as well. If you stop and think about it, it makes sense; you'll pushing your
brain to the limit by overthinking and burning it out eventually. The mind can't run 24/7 at max
levels without inevitably completely exhausting itself. Our modern lives cause this problem
because of its hectic and non-stop pace which requires us to do too much in too little time. We
simply don't have the free time in our busy schedules to focus on our own well-being. This didn't
exist in the past when we lived in nature and only focused on our own survival; hunting,
gathering and farming enough to get by at a leisure pace relatively not bound by strict schedules
or deadlines. Take mental health days off to focus on the needs of your body and mind to deal
with your fatigue.

Failure to live in the moment

If you can’t live in the moment and appreciate life as it comes, it’s a result of overthinking.
Overthinking causes you to lose track of the world and live in your mind. It distances you from
others because you're always stuck in your own head. Be sure to open up your mind and heart to
the world and not to get stuck in cycles of negative thinking. Focus on thinking positively and
ignore the negative thoughts that bring you down. The world offers countless opportunities for
personal connections and experiences for those who can live in the moment rather than in their
heads. Also, connections with others provide assistance to quiet those negative considerations.
When we form personal connections with others, we can gain an assistant to silence our negative
thoughts. Our friendships also allow us to redirect attention away from themselves and our
negative thoughts to others. Learn to listen to others, form bonds with them, and learn more
about them. Chronic overthinking is a problem that can be solved by creating strong
communities again, where we can learn from and support each other.

As you can see from these 9 signs, overthinking is a problem that not only chains your thinking
and decision making resulting in procrastination but affects your mental and physical health and
well-being negatively. This results in an increased risk for debilitating mental conditions such as
depression and anxiety. Left unchecked, overthinking will destroy your job performance,
relationships, mind, and body. Now that you know the signs that overthinking has become a
problem, you can now learn about the consequences associated with overthinking and its partner
conditions; anxiety, worry, and rumination. Overthinking things isn’t just annoying; it can
seriously affect your health. Research finds that ruminating on your imperfections, errors, and
troubles increase your risk of developing mental health problems such as depression and anxiety
disorders. And as your mental health worsens, you become more likely to ruminate, resulting in a
self-destructive cycle, which is difficult to break. Studies also show that overthinking causes
serious emotional suffering, which sufferers deal with through unhealthy coping means, such as
tobacco, alcohol, drugs, or food. Insomnia has also been linked to overthinking with studies
confirming this, discovering that rumination and worry resulted fewer hours of sleep, of lower
quality overall as well. The unhealthy habits, poor sleep, and mental conditions associated with
overthinking results in serious health problems such as (e.g. cancer, heart disease, liver problems,
pancreatitis, and an overall shortened lifespan). Before going into the specifics of the
consequences of overthinking and its related mental disorders (e.g. stress, worry, anxiety, and
depression); it is important to understand what actually happens in your brain when you
overthink:

Your mind is fixated on an event, a person, a past event, or a problem. Rather than think of a
solution, being decisive, and taking action, you just continue thinking; unable to shake the
feeling.

Whenever something bad occurs, your mind automatically turns to the most disastrous scenarios,
with thoughts asking “what if?” or “why?”.

You occasionally fall into negative thinking patterns.

You excessively worry about previous errors or present problems and concerns, and they might
lead to negative outcomes.

You preoccupy about or over-analyze your daily experiences and social interactions.
You amplify every single word, idea, and situation beyond sensible and realistic proportions,
picking up on things that aren't there in the first place.

With anxiety, not only are these thoughts racing through our brain, but they are always racing
through our brains, 24/7. Like a hamster hooked up to an endless energy drink drop, they’re
always running but going nowhere. Anxiety and overthinking at the same time both tires and
energize us. One result of overthinking that comes with anxiety is that people end up feeling both
physically and emotionally sick. The same anxious thoughts that race through our heads 24/7 no
matter what takes its toll on us.

Furthermore, another dangerous side effect of anxiety and overthinking is that we eventually
start to believe our own thoughts. After all, if we believe in its legitimacy enough times, then it's
real. Isn't it? No. This is a side-effect of anxiety. Anxiety causes overthinking, but anxious
thoughts cannot be trusted under any circumstances. The unhealthy effects of excessive anxiety
will result in a more disease-stricken life and reduced lifespan for the afflicted. Below is a list of
harmful anxiety side-effects.

The afflicted living with an untreated and uncontrolled generalized anxiety disorder may face
several consequences and symptoms since anxiety can negatively affect every part of daily life.
Common effects of untreated anxiety include but are not limited to:

Unable to fulfill home, work, and school responsibilities

Sleep problems

Family and marital problems

Difficulty accomplishing daily activities

Inability to focus

Inability to socialize normally with others

Agoraphobia

Feeling helpless with your condition

Lowered self-esteem due to hopeless feelings

Loss of motivation

Self-harm

 
Anxiety is strongly linked with stress; your body is in a constant fight-or-flight stress response
because of the worst-case scenarios that your anxious mind thinks up. These troubling thoughts
result in your body experiencing consistent negative stimuli to deal with which results in your
stressful state. As you see, the human nervous system isn't proficient at telling the difference
between emotional and physical threats. Being stressed and overwhelmed by an argument with a
friend, a job deadline, or a ceiling-high bill stack can result in your body reacting the same as if
you were facing a real life-or-death event. Also, the more your emergency fight-or-flight system
is activated, the easier it is to set off, exacerbating the stress problem. In the demanding modern
world full of countless stresses, you become under high stress at all times. This can result in dire
health problems. Acute stress interferes with almost every bodily system. It can inhibit your
immune system, disrupt your digestive and reproductive systems, increase your risk for heart
attacks and strokes, and accelerates your aging. It can even rewire your brain's neural networks,
leaving you more at risk for anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.

Health problems resulting from or worsened by stress include:

       Depression and anxiety

       Pain

       Sleep issues

       Autoimmune diseases

       Digestion problems

       Skin problems, such as eczema

       Heart disease

       Weight issues

       Reproductive issues

       Thinking and memory problems

The most dangerous aspect of stress is how it can catch you totally by surprise. You think you
won't be affected by it anymore. You begin to feel acquainted, it’s almost as if you're friends.
However, you fail to realize how much stress is impacting you, even after you pay a heavy price.
That’s why it’s important to know of the common danger signs and symptoms of stress
meltdown.

 
Mental symptoms:

Memory problems

Unable to focus

Poor judgment

Pessimistic

Anxious or non-stop thoughts

Chronic worrying

Emotional symptoms:

Depression or unhappiness

Anxiety and turbulence

Distemper, short fuse, or anger

Feelings of being overwhelmed

Loneliness and isolation

Other mental or emotional health problems

Physical symptoms:

Aches and pains

Diarrhea or constipation

Nausea, dizziness

Chest pain, rapid heart rate

Reduced sex drive

Constant colds or flu

Behavioral symptoms:

Over or undereating

Over or under sleeping

Withdrawing from social interaction

Procrastinating or shirking off responsibilities

Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs for leisure

Uneasy habits (for example, nail-biting, pacing)

Worry is another mental condition closely associated with overthinking, especially anxiety since
both involve the fixation of thought on the worst-case scenario. As you can see below:

Acute worry and emotional unease can cause several health problems. The problem occurs when
fight or flight is triggered every day by too much worrying and anxiety. The fight or flight
response causes the body’s sympathetic nervous system to send stress hormones (signal
molecules) such as cortisol into the bloodstream. These hormones can increase blood sugar
levels and triglycerides (blood fats), which can be utilized as fuel by the body. The hormones
also result in physical effects such as:

Trouble swallowing

Vertigo

Dry mouth

Quickened heartbeat

Exhaustion

Headaches

Inability to focus

Irritability

Muscle aches

Muscle tension

Sick feeling

Uneasiness

Rapid breathing

Shortness of breath

Sweating

Shaking and muscle spasms

When the extra fuel in the blood isn’t burned for physical activities, the acute anxiety and
outflow of stress hormones can have serious physical outcomes, such as:

Immune system suppression

Digestion problems

Muscle strain

Short-term memory loss

Early coronary artery disease

Heart attack

If worrying and anxiety go untreated, they can result in depression and even suicidal thoughts in
the worst-case scenario. Also, it is important to note that although these side-effects are a
reaction to stress, stress is simply the catalyst. Whether you become sick or not depends on how
you deal with stress. Physical reactions to stress include your immune system, heart and blood
vessels, and how some glands in your body release hormones. The role of these hormones is to
assist in the management of bodily operations, such as brain function and nerve impulses. All of
these systems are connected and are impacted by your coping style and your mental state. It isn’t
the stress that makes you sick. Rather, it’s the impact that too much worrying and anxiety has on
these various interconnected systems that can result in physical illness. There are things you can
do, such as healthy changes in your lifestyle, to shift your stress response to become more
sustainable and sensible.

Lastly, depression is commonly associated with its catalyst anxiety, worry, and overthinking, and
is known for several severe physical and mental health problems it brings on including:

Feelings of sadness and emptiness

Insomnia

Absorption with death and self-injury (suicide risk)

Memory and decision-making problems

Emotional neediness

Heart attack risk

Overeating and undereating

Weight gain or loss

Increased risk for cardiovascular disease

Unexplained pains and aches

Fatigue

Suppressed immune system

Ultimately, it is important to keep in mind that overthinking can be a problem with serious
physical and mental health consequences.

you suffer from frequent tension headaches

Tension headaches feel as if there is a thick rubber band wrapped around your temples, and it is
slowly getting tighter. Aside from headache, you might also feel a sharp pain or stiffness in your
neck. If you suffer from chronic tension headaches, it is a sign that you are overworking yourself
and you need a rest.

And by rest, it also includes rest from mental activities, like overthinking. Headaches is a sign
that your body needs to take a break, this includes your mind. In addition, you might not notice
it, but when you overthink, you are actually thinking of the same things over and over again.

Overthinkers usually have negative thought patterns that loop around themselves. To fight this,
you need to break this loop by reinforcing positive thoughts. Take deep breaths and focus your
mind on every time your chest rises and falls, being mindful of the present will help you get rid
of negative thoughts and the tension headache that came with them.

Signs You Are an Overthinker

·          Chronic fatigue. The brain is at its maximum capacity when overthinking takes hold of
your attention. Since the brain is a power-hungry organ system, it consumes a great deal of your
usual energy. Hence, you may find yourself constantly tired bordering on exhaustion. This is
why you often need more sleep than most folks.  

·          Overanalyzing everything. The chronic overthinkers make something out of everything.
Even when someone makes a very innocent comment, the overthinker will find something and
blow it out of proportion. Often, it is just a ploy to get the attention they crave.  
·          Dread of disappointment. The knit-picking tendencies of the overthinker lead them to
constant disappointment. Since it is virtually impossible for them to take anything at face value,
they will try to find the catch in everything. This leads to constant disappointment.  

·          Failure to be in the now. The overthinker is generally concerned about the past and
focused on the future. This leads them to forget about living in the present that is, enjoying life’s
most precious moments, and the people around them.

·          Continually re-thinking themselves. In other words, the overthinker is constantly second-
guessing themselves, making unreasonable criticisms about themselves and the things they have
done or failed to.

·          Constant headaches. Given the fact that the brain is at full blast, the overthinker is
generally prone to headaches. It is only when these folks are able to calm down that they find
peace and solace in the world around them.

·          Chronic sleeping disorders. Since overthinkers are prone to insomnia, they tend to be
sleep deprived until their bodies shut down. At that point that they may oversleep as the body
attempts to gain precious rest.  

·          Stiff muscles and joints. A chronic overthinker is in a constant state of stress. This may
lead to maintain a consistent state of stiffness in joints and muscles. Hence, aches and pains
throughout the body are very common.  

·          Living in dread. There is the overwhelming sensation of impending doom no matter how
cut and dry things may be. After all, there is always the possibility that something could go
wrong regardless of how far-fetched it may be.  

·          If you can relate to these characteristics, then it would be a great idea to find a person in
whom you can trust, who can listen to you, so that you can ventilate at least some of your
feelings as often as you can.
Chapter 2 Challenging Your Thoughts

To stop overthinking, you need to first retrain your brain. Fortunately, there are many exercises
and activities that you can use to reshape the way you think.

Now that you know a little about overthinking, and you also know when you are on the verge of
dropping into that deep whirlpool of infinite negative emotions, you can start getting rid of it
entirely, and you can start by challenging your thoughts before they run out of control.

Before You Begin

Here are some of the things that you need to know before you start challenging your negative
thoughts so you will not get too surprised and overwhelmed with everything that is happening.

You need to know that challenging your thoughts might feel unnatural, sometimes even forced at
first. But with a bit of practice, it will start to feel natural and believable.

To build up your confidence for thought challenging, you should practice them on thoughts that
are not as upsetting and provides a bit more flexibility. It is also a good idea to practice this
technique when you are still feeling a bit neutral and not too overwhelmed by your thoughts.
Trying to practice thought challenging after a particularly rough and problematic day would be
asking too much from yourself.

The first couple of times you try thought challenging it would be best if you jot down your
responses. Often, when beginners try doing it in their heads, they end up with their thoughts
going around in circles, which makes their thoughts all the more intense, and might cause them
to spiral into overthinking.

Another benefit of taking down notes is that if a similar thought pops up in the future, you can
refer to your notes and find out how you reacted to it.

You can practice with a family member or a friend whom you know will not judge you.
Practicing with another person might help you by shedding light on the blind spots of your
thinking, or they can offer you different viewpoints that you might find useful.

When you are first practicing thought challenging, you should focus on a single thought instead
of a series of them this early in the game. For instance, instead of thinking “It’s pretty obvious
that my bosses thought I messed up the project” you should break down your thoughts into
smaller, simpler sentences, and then challenge these thoughts one by one. You will only be
confusing yourself if you start challenging a pile of thoughts at the same time.

Do something that will distract yourself once you finish working through a couple of thought
challenging questions. This will give you some time for your mind to settle down.

Now that you know what you should expect, here are some of the most popular thoughts
challenging exercise that you can try now.

Step Back and Assess the Situation

Here’s a scenario that you might have experienced: you feel as if your boss is constantly and
intentionally ignoring you. You think that the reason why your boss did not greet you this
morning is because you somehow messed up something and that he is contemplating on firing
you very soon. Usually, this kind of thoughts will cause your mind to overthink and cause you to
lose sleep, thus causing you to not be as efficient at work, which therefore leads to you getting
fired; in short, overthinking problems turns them into self-fulfilling prophecies.

On the other hand, if you just step back and analyze your thoughts before your overactive brain
blows it way out of proportion, you can control it better. In the case mentioned above, remind
yourself that your boss rarely greets anyone at all, and whatever screw up you might have made
during the past couple of days is not grounds for your termination. Next, think about what you
could do in order to not get fired, like increasing your productivity, or maybe learn a new skill
that can help you do your job better.

In just a couple of minutes, you have derailed your train of negative thought before it even gets a
chance to gain momentum.

Write Them All Down

Another way to challenge your negative thoughts before they trigger you to overthink is to write
them all down on a piece of paper. When you write down the things that are bothering you, it
gives them a somewhat tangible form, which actually helps you reanalyze them in a more
rational manner. If you want to take this to the next level, you can start making a thought journal.

What is a thought journal/diary?

A thought diary is different from the traditional form of journaling, it has a structure that you
have to follow to make analyzing your thoughts much easier. For instance, in a thought diary,
you do not start an entry with a “Dear Diary” or any form of it, the entries look more like a
ledger if anything.

You make a thought diary by making a couple of columns on the page and then you title them as
follows:

Antecedent – These are the things that triggered you during the day.

Beliefs – These are your thoughts about the things that you listed in the first column.

Consequences – These are the things that happened because of your thoughts.

This is why a thought journal is called an ABC journal.

Here is an example on how you write an entry in your thought journal. You suddenly start
worrying because you have an upcoming bill that you have to pay, this is your consequence. On
the second column, you write that you were worried because you might not be able to make your
due date. you could write that you were watching the evening news when you suddenly
remembered that you needed to pay.

After some time of writing in your thoughts journal, you might start noticing that the triggers are
usually not related to the thoughts that made you worry. Thoughts just occur, and the triggers
that caused them to surface might be related to them at all; thoughts are fickle in that way.

In the consequences column, you then might write down something like, “I took an aspirin to get
rid of the headache that I felt was coming.”
Every Sunday evening you could review your entries and then think of the things that you could
have done better. For instance, for the entry above, instead of taking an aspirin, you could have
just walked around the park to clear your mind, or at the very least you could have eaten an apple
or something just so your headache will not get any worse. Or you could call your utility
company and inform them that you might be a little late on the payment, but you will be paying,
and ask if it is possible for them to waive the late fees. Your thought diary will help you make
sense of your muddled thoughts by laying them out on paper for you to easily analyze. This tool
can help you understand your less-than-ideal coping skills and why you end up making choices
that lead to consequences that are not really best for you. With the help of a thought journal, you
can change your future consequences by restating and reanalyzing your past thoughts and
making the necessary adjustments

Benefits of a thought diary

Writing in a thought journal/diary helps you identify the things that trigger you into
overthinking. When you write down your thoughts, you will easily see if they are actually
legitimate concerns, or if they are just irrational. Thought journals help you recall how you
behaved during the time you were triggered into overthinking, and in time you will start to notice
the patterns in the way you think.

When you recognize your existing thought patterns, it will be possible for you to change not only
your behavior, but also your thoughts. When you notice evil thoughts start to creep in, you can
practice mindfulness (more on this later) and just observe and acknowledge them so they will go
away. You actually do not need to behave according to your thoughts, you can actually ignore
them and just continue living your own life. It is much better to write down “I ignored the
thought of...” instead of “I went to the pub and drank a few pints to make myself forget”, and if
you notice that you are doing basically the same thing almost every day then your thought diary
is actually working.

Make a habit of writing a thought journal

It is highly advisable that you make a habit out of writing down your thoughts using the format
mentioned above. You can use a small notebook, a stack of papers, anything that you can write
on and keep confidential. No one else aside from you and your therapist (if you are seeing one)
must know about the existence of this journal; no one else should have access to your inner
thoughts.

If you do not want to use the traditional method, you can also use your smartphone or laptop to
create a secret document. Gradually over time, you will start noticing when you are starting to
spiral into overthinking and then stop yourself from going any further.

Negative emotions, like those that shatter your confidence to pieces, can usually lead to clinical
depression, makes you feel irrationally lonely, hopeless, and they will break you apart from the
inside. Writing helps you get rid of your self-destructive thoughts. It is an art that can help you
share your innermost feelings and your deepest thoughts.

Writing down your feelings onto paper is a way for you to freely express your views and
opinions on the things that happened during the day, and what effect they had on your life. You
are not just writing words on paper, you are effectively eliminating all these negative thoughts
from your mind, and with them goes all that negativity that came with them.

Get a Hobby

Have you always wanted to learn to play the piano, the guitar, ukulele, or any other kind of
musical instrument, why not try learning today? Do you want to get good at drawing,
calligraphy, or painting? Attend classes or watch online video tutorials. You can also play your
favorite video games for an hour or so. Having a hobby not only gives you a creative outlet, they
also provide you with a way to create something with your hands, it also allows you to think
individually, and most importantly, hobbies provide you with an escape from your negative
thoughts.
Whenever you feel as if your thoughts are starting to overwhelming you, whip out your hobby
kit, and immerse yourself in the activity. Lose yourself in the skills, coordination, concentration,
and repetition that your hobby requires you to do. Focus your mind on the comfort or challenge
brought about by your chosen hobby, and allow it to chase away all of the worries that used to
trigger your overthinking.
Chapter 3: Practicing Mindfulness

What is mindfulness?
In simple terms, mindfulness is the average ability of a man to be completely conscious of his
current location and what he is doing in that location and not being distracted by what goes on
within his environment.  

Naturally, everyone is blessed with the concept of mindfulness within them; notwithstanding, it
can only be accessed when it's consistently used. But how do you know you've become mindful?
You become conscious of what is going through your brain. When you consistently teach your
mind to be mindful, you redesign your brain.  

Further, the aim of mindfulness is to be conscious of their inner operations of the function of the
brain, its physical processes, and feelings. If, by chance or knowingly, we lose grip on the critical
things in life, life may leave us behind. With mindfulness, we can be more present, more aware,
and more capable of dealing with life.  

How people define mindfulness  

Some have defined mindfulness as a condition of being conscious of one's current situation.
They say that individuals who do not judge situations as either good or bad are not being
controlled by their thoughts and that these individuals can be tagged as being mindful.  

Being mindful is a useful tool to help one understand and control subconscious feelings that may
present big problems in both our work and personal relationships. Mindfulness suggests being in
the current moment instead of dwelling on the past or peering into an unknown existence. As a
tool, mindfulness has been defined by many to be utilized during meditation.  

Many see mindfulness as therapeutic. There are a series of advantages to being mindful. Some of
these benefits include reducing a person's level of anxiety and depression and boosting a person's
general well-being, helping them to combat feelings of isolation and rejection.  

The best way to lead a mindful life

A person's emotional condition determines their ability to remain objective in stressful situations.
Dwelling on painful memories and past events can haunt people and prevent them from doing
their very best within their individual environments.  
A man or woman may have, many years ago, doing something wrong, and years after year, the
thought will keep returning and haunting him or her. He may want something to happen that will
take away the thought of remembering that occasion. But how could that be solved?  

This person would need to focus on that reality that is existing within his/her environment, and
not let his past regrets disturb his/her present happiness. There is no doubt that the best tool to
help a person to be conscious of what happens within his or her environment is mindfulness; it
enables us to stop judging whether the situation is good or bad.  

If you really want to control your feelings, mindfulness is something you should practice.

Important facts to know about mindfulness

These mindfulness facts are important for you to know. Knowing them will allow you to
understand mindfulness and appreciate its functions.

Fact 1: Mindfulness is not a myth or farce.

Developing mindfulness is a scientifically-proven method which will result in improved

relationships with friends, neighbors, families, coworkers, and other individuals.

Fact 2: You need not alter your personality.

We don’t need to change anything about our personality to become capable of being present.
Changing who you are will achieve little or no success at all; methods like these are bound to
fail. But with mindfulness, you can bring the best out of yourself and become a new, improved
you.

Fact 3: Everyone can learn mindfulness.

Mindfulness is gained by learning and practicing. And it is very easy; anyone can learn how to
become more mindful.

Fact 4: Mindfulness is a way of life.

Mindfulness is not just common practice; it is a way of life. This way of life helps us to get rid of
mindless stress and handle life’s challenges more easily.

Fact 5: Evidence supports the benefits of mindfulness.

The effects and benefits of mindfulness have been observed in scientific studies and in the
personal experiences of those who practice it. These studies indicate that mindfulness improves
health, general well-being, and all other aspects of human lives.
Fact 6: Mindfulness gives birth to innovation.

Mindfulness eliminates mental clutter and frees the mind up for creative and intellectual pursuits.
You will find it easier to provide answers to complex situations and problems.

Fact 7: There are some mindfulness practice basics.

With mindfulness, your reaction to daily events becomes more positive. Self-control is
improved, making the impact of mindfulness more beautiful.

Wondering how to go about practicing mindfulness? Here are some important steps to follow;

•Set aside time and space for your practice.

For effective mindfulness practice, it is best to schedule a regular time and place. Always set
time and space aside for this task.

•Do not pass judgment on your thoughts.

The chances that we will judge our thoughts while practicing mindfulness are high. The right
thing to do is to observe such thoughts without passing judgment.

•Have a positive view of the present moment.

The goal of mindfulness is not only to achieve unmatched calmness and quietness; it is actually
to increase our attentiveness to each moment, without judging it to be good or bad. Hard as it
may be, the goals of mindfulness are achievable.

•Accept each moment as it is.

We might easily get lost in thought. The best way to come back to the present is through
mindfulness.

•Stop your mind from wandering mindlessly.

At every moment, numerous thoughts will pop into your head. But never let these thoughts be
the basis for your judgment. Identify the point at which your mind starts to wander and refocus it
on the present moment.

These following practices will help you achieve mindfulness more easily. They are simple, but
you must be dedicated and work hard to bring about positive results.

Mindful practices to help you improve your life

A positive change in attitude and the effectiveness of your activities increase when you can set
time aside each week to practice mindfulness or mindful exercise. This exercise will help you to
become more patient and better tolerate others. Your mind will worry less about criticism or
negative comments. It will result in you socializing more easily and becoming friendly.

The result will definitely affect your sleep. You will get a sound and peaceful night's rest.
Overall, your day will be eventful, happy, and you will feel fulfilled long into the evening.

Mindful walking

Think about what you want to do for 15 to 20 minutes each day while walking. This is mindful
walking. Since walking helps to keep you refreshed and improve thinking, mindful walking has a
definite purpose. To get better results, you have to stick to a particular pattern and method. This
will enhance your progress.

You need to be attentive and concentrate well if you are engaging in mindful practices. Endeavor
to pay attention to even the littlest of details, such as the people and events around you. Four
essential elements will make mindful walking possible: a steady pace, relaxed gaze, straight
posture, and good balance.

Posture

The success of mindful walking is influenced by your posture. You need to hit that perfect
position while you engage in mindful walking. Getting the right posture involves releasing your
body into each moment. Getting rid of stiffness, standing in an upright position, and ensuring
that your feet are planted firmly on the ground. This will help you to walk better.

Balance

To avoid distraction while engaging in mindful walking, you need to have the right balance. This
balance should be obvious from your finger down to your arms, and even to your tummy.

You may need to do this to be successful; bend the left thumb and wrap the other finger around
it. Then place it on your stomach. Now place the right hand on it and let your right thumb rest in-
between the left thumb and the index finger.

Gaze

Your gaze level affects your attentiveness to things around you, and how well you concentrate.
More success is achieved when you lower your gaze; don’t necessarily look at the ground,
though. Remove or lower your gaze when you start to become too focused on the things that you
see around you.
Pace

During mindful walking, your pace is another thing to consider. Walking too fast will help you
achieve nothing. Try a steady pace; walk slowly, or at least below your average walking pace.
When your feet touch the ground, it will help you to feel more grounded at the moment and able
to concentrate.

Why should you practice mindfulness?

There are many misconceptions about mindfulness. Therefore, people who start engaging in
mindfulness often find that the results are very different from what they expect or from what they
have been promised.

Below are some of the six most frequent misconceptions about mindfulness:  

•The goal of mindfulness is to make you a better person.

•The goal of mindfulness is to halt your ideas.

•Mindfulness is a religious practice.

•Mindfulness will protect you from being affected by real-life conditions.

•Mindfulness will solve all your problems.

•The goal of mindfulness does not go beyond eliminating stress.

Yes! Mindfulness helps people to deal with their stress, but that is not the main objective of
mindfulness. What then, is the goal? It is to ensure that you are conscious about what is
happening around you: things happening in the physical, mental, and emotional faculties. Start
learning mindfulness today for the following reasons:

Train your body to thrive via mindfulness

One thing that has helped athletes to surpass their own expectations, achieve greatness, and rid
themselves of negativity is mindfulness. Their training often involves channeling their strength
in the best possible way and gaining better control of their breathing.

Athletes can attain full presence and achieve their goals when they work on a mix of
mindfulness, which includes tactical breathing, and intellectual, behavioral exercises.

Boosting your creativity via mindfulness

By becoming more mindful, you can clear your mind, freeing yourself up to become more
creative in all of your daily tasks or assignments.

Strengthen your neural connection via mindfulness

The development of new neural routes and building new connections in the brain can be made
possible through the practice of mindfulness. This improves your abilities and helps you
concentrate more on things that are currently happening around you. It also helps you become
more flexible and promotes well-being.

What is meditation and when to used it?

Meditation as it is most commonly known is the practice of training attention. Most people
assume that meditation is something practiced in a temple with a monk sat cross legged on a
cushion. But it doesn’t have to be that way. It can be as simple as a state of mind. For example,
when we are doing something, we give it our full attention in the moment. Washing the dishes
can be a mediation. Walking can be a meditation. Mainstream practices involve taking the time
out to sit down, close your eyes and focus on your breathing as it goes in and out. Inevitably
thoughts will arise, but as you notice yourself getting distracted by them you gently bring your
attention back to your breathing.

Mediation has been proven again and again by countless studies that conclude it improves focus
and brain function. All you need is ten minutes a day and you can begin to reap the rewards
almost immediately. The amazing thing about mediation is that it spills over into your daily
living. After some weeks of daily meditation, you will start to notice that food tastes better, you
see more clearly and life is less stressful. This is because meditation is calming down your
internal dialogue and allowing you to be in the moment experiencing life at its fullest.

Mediation has grown in popularity over the last few decades. What was once just something
practiced by monks has now become a commercial success. Meditation groups have surged in
popularity and even the business world has picked up on it. Of course, meditation isn’t some
magic pill that cures everything in your life. But it will provide some much-needed space. Here
are some excellent reasons to meditate.
● Self-awareness

● Stress relief

● Connect with
life

● Better focus

● Less brain
chatter

Meditation and overthinking

Overthinking takes over your mind and can lead to doubt, suspicion, and overall bad mind states.
Overthinking is a big issue for many of us. We admire thinkers such as Shakespeare, Darwin and
Einstein who have changed the world with their thinking. That type of thinking is a positive trait
but overthinking is not. Essentially overthinking is a tidal wave of random unhelpful thoughts.
Now that won’t help you or bring you peace. However, meditation is something that can help to
resolve overthinking and bring peace to your life.

Meditation can help you to gain perspective and see the larger picture of life. In turn that leads to
a more peaceful and happy life. Seeking out a higher state of consciousness will help you to
overcome your negative thoughts and declutter your mind. Dealing with life in a more organized
and calm way without getting distracted from your purpose and happiness. Plus, you will be free
from attachment. So many benefits.

Meditation and the brain

In 2005 Sara Lazar, a Harvard neuroscientist published some astonishing research about
mediation. She found that meditation can literally change the brain structure by thickening parts
of the cortex that are responsible for controlling attention and emotion. In a little as eight weeks
of practicing, daily half hour meditation this brain change is possible.
Further studies in 2014 found that the brains of meditators had enlarged regions. Those included
the insula which is responsible for emotional self-awareness and also parts of the cingulate
cortex, orbitofrontal cortex and prefrontal cortex. These are responsible for self-regulation and
attention. It is no wonder that experienced meditators are better at focusing and struggle less with
stress, worry, anxiety or overthinking. Various other studies have proven that meditation can
change our neural circuitry which makes us more compassionate and more likely to experience
positive feelings.

Not only does meditation change internal emotional states as a result it also changes our
behavior. One study in particular concluded that people after being trained in mediation for just
two weeks were more likely to make charitable donations. Whilst another study discovered that
people who meditated are more likely to offer a chair to someone who needs it.

There are five regions of the brain associated with healthy function which are substantially
affected by meditation.

The Left Hippocampus

This area of the brain is responsible for helping us to learn. Cognitive ability and memory are
found here in addition to emotional regulators that are responsible for empathy and self-
awareness. Various research has concluded that the cortical thickness of this area grows when a
person mediates daily. As the density increases those important functions are improved.

The Posterior Cingulate

This area of the brain is associated with self-relevance and wandering thoughts. It considers how
one subjectively refers to oneself as they process information. The stronger and larger this is the
less the mind will tend to wonder. In turn the more realistic a sense of self will be. Since
meditation trains the mind to remain in the present moment it directly benefits the posterior
cingulate which increases its density.

The Pons

This area of the brain is a very busy and important part that hosts many neurotransmitters which
regulate brain activity. It can be found in the middle of the brain stem and that's where the name
pons comes from which is the Latin word for “bridge.” A number of essential brain functions are
attributed to the pons. Those include facial expressions, sleep, physical function, sensory input
and more. Meditation has been found to strengthen the pons.

The Temporo Parietal Junction (TPJ)

The TPJ is associated with compassion, empathy and our sense of perspective. Whilst the
posterior cingulate focuses on “me”, the TPJ focuses on everything else. When we consider
things from another perspective The TPJ becomes more active. The benefits of meditation such
as lowering stress, anxiety and putting us more in the present moment combine to create a
stronger TPJ. This can help us to become better people since we have improved empathy and
compassion.

The Amygdala

This area of the brain is responsible for producing anxiety, fear and stress. This is the threat
detection area of the brain. When it perceives a potential threat, it will trigger or fight or flight
response. This then releases the stress hormones which include cortisol and adrenaline. This
causes us to get fixated on the threat and make it hard for us to break free and focus on anything
else. In the brains of meditators, it is physically smaller. Reducing this size is great because as a
result we are going to be less sensitive to negative emotions. It's no wonder we feel better with a
daily dose of meditation.

In a 2012 study people who had never mediated before were trained for eight weeks of
mediation. Before they started the training they had MRIs, scans to discover where their brain
activity was occurring. Whilst they were being scanned, they were shown upsetting images.
After the eight weeks of meditation training, they were shown those images again whilst under
the MRI scanner. This time their brain activity showed a reduction in the amygdala. One of the
most amazing things about the 2012 study was that the reduction of amygdala activity continued
even when the participants went back to their baseline state. This further proves that meditation
can result in lasting mental changes.

How to Meditate

Now with all that being said one more thing needs to be explained. You won’t change your brain
unless you sit down and do your daily meditation! Sure, some days you won’t want to.
Everything else is way more important. Push on and stick with it, even on the bad days. The
practice is very straightforward and easy to do.

To begin with, find a comfortable place to sit and relax. It should be free from distraction and
comfortable. You can choose to lie down or sit as you please. The best results tend to be seated
cross legged. Strike a balance between alert and comfortable. Choose a time that works for you.
At the start of the day or in the evening are the best times. Set a timer for ten minutes at first. As
you become more comfortable with the mediation you can build up to longer sessions

Setting aside a time each day is an effective way to establish a consistent meditation routine.
With daily practice you will become more accustomed and comfortable with that practice. All it
requires is just a few minutes a day. That can make a huge difference in your day-to-day life. I
know we all have busy lives and it does require taking time out of your day. But the busier you
are the more important it is. With mediation you will become a more effective person because it
will stimulate long lasting benefits into our lives. From reduced stress levels, awareness with
ourselves and greater connection with life.
So how do you actually mediate? There are many ways to meditate. Most of those are beyond the
scope of this book. But here I will outline a simple mindfulness meditation. Primarily this is
about learning to focus on your breathing. As each breath goes in and out, notice how your mind
tends to wander from the task. The muscles of mindfulness and attention are built by practicing
returning your focus to your breathing. When you learn to pay Atten to
you’re breathing it anchors you into the present moment. Here and now without judgement.

It sounds simple and easy to do but it requires patience and discipline. Our minds have been
burned out by all the distractions and information nowadays that something so simple has
become so challenging.

Follow this step-by-step process to meditate

Step one

Find a comfortable place to sit. You should strike a balance between comfort and alertness.
Laying down would be too much comfort. You might fall asleep. Whilst standing would be too
alert and not enough comfort. Sitting on a seat or cross legged on a cushion is good. You can do
this with eyes closed or open. Go with what gives you the most present feeling.

Step two

Set a time. In the beginning you can set an alarm to go off after five to ten minutes. As you get
more comfortable and experienced, try longer times. Twenty minutes is optimal. Oh, and
remember to turn your phone off and make sure you have no other distractions. Start the timer.

Step three

Notice your body. Scan your attention across your body and pay attention to each area. Move
around if you need to at first to make sure you're comfortable. Then stay in that position.

Step four
Focus on your breathing. Begin by counting to ten and focusing on your breathing. Follow the
sensations of your breathing as each breath goes in and out. Notice all of the smallest details
from the air filling your lungs to passing your lips. You will notice moments of pure presence.
That is pure consciousness. You will know when it happens. No thinking just in the moment.

Let go and just be with your breathing. Thoughts will run through your mind but when you catch
yourself caught up in them forgive yourself and return to focusing on your breathing. Allow your
mind to relax into the moment and experience consciousness.

Step five

Notice anytime your mind wanders from focusing on your breathing. This is natural and will
inevitably happen. When you notice, this has happened forgive yourself and thank yourself that
you are coming back to the present moment. Return your attention to your breathing. Don't be
hard on yourself for it. Simply return back to your breathing.

Step six

When the timer goes off gently open your eyes if they are closed. Stretch your body and take a
moment to notice your environment, thoughts and emotions. Give thanks for the moment.

As you can see meditation is pretty simple to do. The best results come from committing to
doing it every day. No days off. Even when you do not feel like doing it, stick with it. It's a
beautiful thing and the more you practice the more you will fall in love with it.

Walking meditation

Walking meditation is another great meditation practice. Find a place that has plenty of space.
It’s great if the floor has lots of texture to it. Remove your shoes so that you can feel the details
of the floor in your feet. Begin to walk slowly. With each step focus on the experience of
walking and the sensations it brings. When you reach the end of your path, start again until you
have completed the time you want to meditate.

*Important: Remind yourself to meditate

Make meditation a part of your morning or evening routine. I personally practice after reading in
the morning. This works because I stack my habits. Doing one habit triggers a cue to do the next
and so on. In the evenings I also meditate. My cue is arriving home or taking an evening shower.
Then I meditate and journal after. Use physical reminders such as a yoga mat or a cushion in
your room. Put reminders on your phone or even stick-up post notes in your home. Every time
you see any of those it will remind you to meditate. Stick with it

Free yourself from external conditioning

There is no law that restricts you to practice mindfulness while sitting on the floor or on a chair.
You can practice mindfulness in your everyday life by being mindful about what you are doing.
Below is a look at how you can apply mindfulness to your daily routine. 

Washing the Dishes 

Usually, most people will want to take advantage of the process of washing dishes to chat or
watch a TV show. However, this alone time can be used to practice mindfulness. How do you do
this? Immerse yourself in the process. Don’t take anything for granted that is happening when
you're cleaning the dishes. Notice the warm or cold water you are using. Pay attention to the
sounds of the pans and other dishes that you are washing. Try your best to be present in the
moment. Don’t just wash the dishes for the sake of it. Wash them while taking time to
experience everything that is happening around you. 

Driving 

There are many instances where you may find yourself zoning out when driving. Most people
spend their time thinking about what they did during the day. When driving home from work,
some folks will use this time to think about what they will be eating for dinner. Practicing
mindfulness can help you maintain your focus on the immediate environment around you. 

First, if the radio is playing, turn it off. Alternatively, you can choose to play some soothing
music that will help you meditate. While maintaining your focus on the wheel, practice breathing
exercises as you pay attention to your bodily movements. Practicing this regularly can help
prevent your mind from wandering. 
Brushing Your Teeth 

You can also take advantage of your daily routine of brushing your teeth to practice mindfulness.
The main thing that you should pay attention to is your body. Notice how your feet are connected
to the floor. Do you feel cold since you are barefoot on the cold tiles? Think about the way
you’re holding the toothbrush in your hand and how your arm is moving sideways or up and
down to clean your teeth. 

Judging from the everyday mindfulness exercises mentioned, it is evident that living mindfully is
all about living in the present moment. Sometimes we find ourselves overthinking because we
cannot control our minds when they are left to their own devices. Therefore, it is by being
present in every moment that you can catch yourself overthinking and stop it. 

Mindfulness Exercises to Help You Sleep 

There are numerous mindfulness exercises that you can use to enhance the quality of your sleep.
The following are a few that you can consider incorporating in your daily routine. 

One Minute Meditation 

Just as the name suggests, this is a meditation exercise that will only take you a minute. Start by
finding a comfortable place to sit. Close your eyes. As you maintain your comfortable and still
position, scan through your body and connect with the parts of your body. Take a deep breath as
you continue scanning your body for any joints or muscles that want to relax. Again, take
another deep breath in and breathe out. Follow your breath as it will help you become focused
and aware. Just notice your fleeting thoughts and emotions. Take another final deep breath in and
out. 

Ambient Music 

The idea of listening to music before you go to sleep can help you overcome insomnia and other
sleep-related issues. When you find it difficult to sleep, this could be the resultant effect of your
anxiety and nervousness. Listening to ambient music calms down your nerves and before you
know it, you’re fast asleep. The following day, you will wake up feeling rejuvenated like never
before. 

Belly Breathing 

Breathing exercises can generally help you relax. You should take time to study how to do a full
belly breath. Usually, breathing meditation involves regular breathing, and by paying attention to
your breathing, you enhance your concentration. Given time, you will increase your self-
awareness. This means that it will be somewhat easier for you to catch yourself when your mind
is drifting. 

In this meditation exercise, your first goal will be to be able to do a full belly breath. Start by
sitting on a chair and make sure that you assume an upright posture. Place one of your palms on
your belly and the other on your chest. Take a deep breath in and out. Pay attention to the hand
that is moving. If you can’t accurately figure out the part of your body that is moving, try looking
in the mirror. Certainly, if you’re still breathing with your chest, expect the hand placed on your
chest to move. In some cases, both hands will move. This will be an indication that you’re still
breathing with your chest. On the contrary, if the hand placed on your belly moves, then you
have achieved a belly breath. 

Practicing belly breathing is quite simple. All you need to do is the following: notice each time
you feel anxious or stressed, and during this period, you should take a minute to take a few deep
breaths while you pay attention to how your belly is moving. You can practice belly breathing
meditation exercises without limiting yourself to a particular position. You can either do this
while standing or sitting down. Moreover, you can do it anywhere, anytime you feel that your
mind and body are not in a relaxed state. 

Tension Release 

If you’re dealing with a challenging situation, it is likely that you will carry troubling feelings
throughout the day. Undeniably, this is a common thing that happens to anyone. When you feel
emotionally burdened, it doesn’t mean that you should give up on everything that you have been
working on. Indeed, there are times when we feel like giving up simply because we cannot
control how to deal with our emotions. Unfortunately, this affects how we approach our day to
day lives. To be on the safe side, tension release meditation exercises can help you relax and find
it easy to sleep. 

Just like any other meditation exercise, start by taking an upright posture and ensure that you’re
comfortable. You can also choose to lie down. Gently close your eyes as you take a deep breath
in. While doing this, notice the environment around you through your body. Are you feeling cold
or warm? Do you hear any noise coming from the nearby buildings or roads? Slowly, bring your
mind to focus on how you are breathing. Count the number of breaths that you are taking starting
with 1 to 10. Gradually, take your mind to the areas where you’re feeling pain or tensed. Gently
allow your awareness to rest in these positions. With the help of breathing exercises, allow your
breath to massage these areas as it releases the tension you are feeling. Treat yourself with
compassion. Feel the pain moving out of your body for each breath that you take. 
Bring the meditation to a close by taking a few last breaths. Slowly open your eyes. Maintain the
same position for a few minutes as you appreciate the relaxed state that you are feeling.  You can
then proceed to take a nap or do anything that you were doing before calling it a day. 

Guided Sleep Meditation 

Guided sleep meditation can be helpful when trying to eliminate the barriers that prevent you
from resting and sleeping peacefully. This meditation exercise is based on the notion that the
biggest barrier to sleeping is worrying that you cannot sleep. The anxiety created in your mind
will, therefore, deter you from getting the night’s rest that you require. 

Start this meditation practice by lying on your bed. You can choose to lie on your side or on your
back. Maintain a still position while assuming that you’re going to get the same kind of rest that
you achieve when sleeping. As a result, assume that you’re getting the rest that you need
regardless of whether you’re asleep or not. The significance of adopting this mindset is that it
works as a placebo effect This soothes your mind and before you know it, you will hopefully be
sleeping like a baby. 

Surrender Meditation 

Have you ever felt that there are certain things that you need to surrender simply because you
cannot control them? Undeniably, you cannot control everything in your life. Trying to do this
will only lead you to think too much about things that are beyond your control. Surrender
meditation will help you realize and acknowledge the importance of surrendering when you feel
that you can’t control what is happening around you. 

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. While doing this, scan through your body to
identify areas that need to relax. As you continue breathing in and out, feel your mind surrender
the thoughts and emotions that consume you. For every breath that you take, breathe out while
allowing all these thoughts and emotions to leave your body and mind. Feel the space that is
created when this is happening and enjoy the moment. 

Schedule Your Worries 

Indeed, this might appear counterintuitive since we should always try to prevent ourselves from
worrying. However, it is important to realize that by scheduling your worrying, you will be
emptying out these worries at a specific time before going to bed. Therefore, this leaves you in a
calm state where you find it easier to sleep. 

This meditation exercise is very simple. All you need to do is to spare some time and designate it
as your worry time. This can be 20 to 30 minutes during the day or when you are about to go to
sleep. Identify all the things that you are worried about. To ensure that you point out everything
that occupies your mind, start by worrying about one thing at a time before you proceed to
something else. If possible, write it down as it can help you to get rid of those thoughts once you
are done worrying about it. 

During your worry time, try your best not to prevent yourself from worrying. Remember, you
have about 20-30 minutes to bring out your worries. So, there is no reason to hold them back.
Once your time elapses, bring your attention back to the tasks you were attending to. Express
gratitude that you managed to attend to your worries and promise yourself to do the same the
following day. 

Practice this meditation exercise every day. In time, you will notice that you can easily
disconnect yourself from any worries more so when it’s not your ‘worry time’. This gives your
mind the space it needs to think positively and productively. 

Gratitude Practice 

The quality of your sleep can also be improved by expressing gratitude for the things that you
have. Instead of allowing your mind to race, trying to think about all the things that you lack,
expressing gratitude brings your attention to the things you are grateful for. Therefore, it brings
about positive emotions that soothe you. Take note of the fact that your mind will be filled with a
sense of abundance. You will be happy that you can afford to sleep in a warm bed or that you
managed to complete certain tasks during the day. Your sense of gratitude prevents your mind
from activating the “fight or flight” response. This response is usually activated when you’re
facing a threatening situation. 

Letting Go 

Holding on to negative beliefs about ourselves can prevent us from being happy. This meditation
exercise is meant to bring you closer to the stories that you have developed in your mind about
yourself and your life. Take a few minutes during the day to introduce yourself to the opinions
that you have crafted about yourself. These are the perceptions that are preventing you from
being truly happy. Usually, they will deter you from utilizing your full potential. After observing
how you feel about these opinions, consider a scenario where you didn’t have to believe all these
things about yourself. Would you be happier? Recognize the importance of letting go of these
perceptions that you have as it will give you the opportunity to live your life without limitations. 

Clearly, mindfulness meditation is a great way of managing how you think. By enhancing your
self-awareness, you are in a better position to notice when your mind is thinking too much about
something. From the information provided, there is nothing that you benefit from overthinking.
The worst thing is that you only torture yourself as you will live your life feeling worried and full
of anxiety. The effects of this are that you will find it difficult to sleep peacefully and it prevents
you from making informed decisions. Remember, practice makes perfect. As a result, the
meditation exercises will help you if you integrate them into your daily routines. 

Make your body’s energies prosper

First things first, find a quiet place where there are minimal distractions. You can choose
to do this indoors or outdoors as long as there is little noise coming from the surrounding
environment. If you prefer doing this indoors, ensure that the lights do not distract you. During
the day, draw your curtains and use natural light. Another important consideration that you
should bear in mind is that you should choose to meditate when you’re free. Don’t do this when
you are in the middle of something important. This can end up being a distraction and it could
prevent you from achieving the total focus that it requires. 

How to Sit 

Posture is an integral aspect of meditation. If you don’t assume the right posture, you will find it
difficult to meditate. It is essential that you assume a good posture that is comfortable for you. 

●       Sitting Down 

You can either choose to sit down on a bed on a chair. Whatever option you choose, ensure that
you are comfortable. When sitting down, confirm that your back is in an upright position. You
can use a pillow to stabilize yourself and ensure that you’re not straining to maintain an upright
position. 

●       Positioning Your Legs 

When sitting on the floor, cross your legs. Individuals who are unfit to do this should consider
using a seat. If you choose to use a chair, make sure that feet touch the ground. Don’t use a chair
that will leave your feet hanging. 

●        Positioning Your Arms 

Your arms should be comfortably positioned on top of your legs. The point here is that there
should be no stiffness in the sitting position that you choose. 

After assuming the right position, it is time to relax your body and mind. This is achieved by
focusing on your breath. Pay attention to how you are breathing. Follow how you are inhaling
and exhaling. Notice how your chest moves as a result of the air coming in and out of your nose.
Pay attention to all bodily movements that you are experiencing. Feel the expansion of your
thorax. The inflation and deflation of your stomach. To easily achieve focus, you can choose to
count each breath that you take. A complete inhale and exhale can be counted as one full breath.
Continue doing this until you reach a count of ten. 

With time, your mind can get used to your counting process. Therefore, you could try changing
how you count. For example, instead of counting from 1 to 10, count from 10 to 1. This creates
more focus on how you’re breathing and could, therefore, help you calm your mind.   

Inevitably, you will realize that your mind tends to wander to other thoughts. This is normal, so
don’t worry about it. Recognize that your mind is wandering and learn how to bring it back to
focus on how you are breathing. Remember, this should be done gently. Don’t try to force things
when you are in the process of meditating. You should be more aware of yourself and the
thoughts and emotions moving around your mind. Therefore, you can manage how you think and
what you think about. Your focus here should be on one thing; you’re breathing. 

Pay close attention to what is happening in your mind. Notice the thoughts and sensations that
come and go. Don’t resist them in any way. Just notice them. You are not required to react to
these thoughts and sensations in your mind. Sure, they might be burdensome, but try to gently
return to your point of focus without judging what you’re feeling or experiencing. 

As you finish, gently bring your attention to where you are now. Sit for a moment without doing
anything. Breathe in gently and breathe out while allowing your body and mind to flow with it.
Take another deep breath while gently opening your eyes as you complete your meditation. Stop
for a moment and decide what you want to achieve within your day. 

Mindfulness meditation practice is as simple as it sounds. Nevertheless, it’s not that easy. Don’t
expect immediate results when first starting your meditation exercises. It takes time to master
how to do it. Thus, you should aim to make it a habit as it strengthens your awareness. In time,
you will notice the impact it has on you.
Chapter 4 Negative thinking
These are the most likely patterns that your thoughts will take if they are negative, and because
they are the most common, they will be the best starting point. However, keep in mind that
sometimes a thought will somehow miss all of these points but still be problematic or damaging.

Filtering 

When you engage in filtering, you look at only the negative, rejecting the positive that has
happened around you. You refuse to acknowledge the good, turning a blind eye to it, and in
doing so, you develop an incredibly pessimistic view of life. For example, if you got an 88% on
a test, you are likely to focus on the 12% that you got wrong rather than seeing that you got 88%
of it correct. You see that 12% as a flaw and feel as though you should have gotten 100%. 

Personalization 

When you engage in personalization, you are essentially assuming that you are the root cause of
any suffering around you. If you see someone at the grocery store that looks annoyed, it has to be
your fault. If you see someone having a bad day at work, you think that it must be caused by
your behavior or failure to provide the care necessary. 

Control Fallacy 

When this is your negative thought pattern, you essentially give yourself far more credit for
influencing those around you than is true, to more of an extent than is present in personalization.
In this case, it is your fault that there was an accident outside your house last night because you
forgot to change your light bulb, so it kept flickering outside, and the flickering was enough of a
distraction that it caused an accident. 

Fairness Fallacy 

When you’re thinking falls for the fairness fallacy trap, you are essentially hyper-focusing on
fairness. You assume that everything must be fair, whether it is the case or not. When life is not
fair, you assume that you have been wronged and therefore focus on that fact, emphasizing that
you should have gotten the same as the other person. It, of course, keeps you hyper-focused on
the past and ideals rather than looking at skills, personality differences, or the million other ways
someone else might be more deserving of something than you.
Blame 

When you engage in blaming, you are either blaming outward or inward to explain away the
behavior. You may assign blame to yourself, focusing on the fact that it is your fault that
something happened for reasons that you may not be able to explain rationally totally, or you
may blame someone else for avoiding blaming yourself, such as saying that the reason you failed
your latest exam was that you were sick and therefore not in the right mindset. 

Should Haves 

When you focus too much on the should-haves, you lose track that many things in life do not
play out the way they should. Parents should not lose children, but it happens. Focusing on what
should have happened is essentially just keeping your mind focused in the past rather than
allowing yourself to recognize the fact that things do not always work exactly as planned. 

Emotional Reasoning 

Think about the words involved in the naming of this negative thought pattern—emotional and
reasoning. They are exact opposites. When you are using emotional reasoning, you are using
your emotions to rationalize your thoughts. Essentially, you decide that your feelings are
accurate and allow them to color your thinking. For example, if you feel like you failed, then you
will call yourself a failure. 

Labeling 

Labeling refers to assuming that something can be reduced down to one or two words. For
example, you label yourself a failure because you have messed up, or you label a job you have as
pointless because you feel like you cannot get anywhere. You fail to see everything else that
whatever you are labeling actually is and reduce it down to the simplest terms. 

Refusal to Admit Wrongdoing 

When you engage in this sort of thinking, you essentially reject the possibility of being anything
other than right. Even when someone provides you with concrete evidence about whatever has
happened or contradicting your claims, you assume that it is wrong altogether. There is
absolutely no possible way you can be wrong, even if you have to twist things to have even a
possibility of being right.

Heaven's Reward 

When you fall for Heaven's reward thinking, you assume that your good deeds must be
rewarded. If you do something good for someone else, you feel like you have to get some benefit
for it, even though in the real world, no one cares to reward you for doing what is expected of
you or what makes you a right person.           

where do you get negative thoughts from?

Have you ever wondered, “Why am I so negative?” Or perhaps a loved one has told you, “You
need to look on the bright side more often.” Where does negative thinking stem from? Why do
some people look at life as a glass half full while others see it as half empty? Is it nature or
nurture?

It’s become a commonly accepted idea that we are born with our own natural happiness set
point. This is the level of happiness that we experience regardless of what is happening in our
lives; whether everything is going well or we are experiencing challenges, our happiness set
point remains generally the same. In fact, it’s been shown that even when people experience a
significant positive event like winning the lottery or a significant negative event like a serious
medical diagnosis, their happiness set point returns to its baseline after about a year (Bloom,
2017). If people have happiness set points, it stands to reason that we also have our own
individual levels of positivity and negativity. So, it may be the case that some people are just
more predisposed to negative thinking than others. This is the nature side of the coin.

Our early childhood experiences also impact our personalities, mindsets, and worldviews. If you
were raised in a household where negative thinking was prevalent, you likely learned some of the
same behaviors. Perhaps you had an overly critical parent, causing you to compare and judge
yourself harshly later in life. A parent who frequently expressed pessimistic thoughts may have
taught you that the world is harsh or that the cards are stacked against you. More traumatic
childhood experiences, such as neglect or abandonment, can lead to negative thinking patterns as
well. Someone who suffered early trauma may engage in worst case scenario thinking, finding it
hard to trust other people or take their word. Clearly, nurture plays as large a part as nature in
determining whether you will be plagued by negative thinking.

A pattern of negative thinking can also be caused by stressful life events beyond childhood. The
end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or a health scare can all spark negative thoughts which if
not addressed can soon spiral out of control into habitual pessimistic thinking. Negative thinking
functions like a feedback loop: the more we focus our attention on what’s going wrong in our
lives or in the world, the worse we feel. And the worse we feel, the harder it will be to have a
positive attitude. It becomes a vicious cycle and those grooves of negativity in our mental track
just get deeper and deeper.
For some people, negative thinking can even develop into an addiction. People for whom
negativity becomes an addiction derive a sort of pleasure from the habit. As mentioned earlier,
pessimistic thoughts can be used as a way to validate a person’s worldview. Similarly, negative
thoughts can be used to cement a person’s identity (“I’m always a victim”) or to try to make
sense of or control the world around them (“People are just bad, that’s all there is to it.”).

So much for how the habit of negative thinking can develop. Where do the specific negative
thoughts themselves come from? If you begin to pay attention to the content of your negative
thoughts, you’ll notice that they fall into one of two camps: anxiety or fear about the future or
guilt or anger about the past. We all experience these feelings from time to time, but habitual
negative thinkers’ dwell on the past or the future and find it hard or even impossible to let their
thoughts go and focus on the present.

For many people, negative thinking crops up in specific situations or with specific people. You
may experience negative thinking in the form of social anxiety. Perhaps you worry that people
won’t like you or are talking about you behind your back in social settings; you might also find
yourself constantly comparing yourself to others or judging them harshly. Some people are
plagued by negative thinking in their work environments; they might complain constantly about
their boss, their coworkers, or their customers, or demand perfection from themselves and others.
Negativity can crop up at home as well. Perhaps you find yourself constantly criticizing your
family members; you might also be consumed with worry about the health and well-being of
your family or feel like you need to “do it all” yourself and thus make yourself a martyr. Your
negativity could center on your body image and looks, your finances, or politics and the general
state of the world.

5 ways to overcome negative thoughts

The problem with negativity is you’re not the only one affected by it. Everyone around you is
too. It affects your family, your relationships, your colleagues, your friends, and anyone you
interact with frequently. Those who cultivate a negative lifestyle are always guaranteed to
experience more stress and illnesses because their bodies are affected by it. They are bound to
experience fewer opportunities in life too. Even when opportunities do come knocking, they
rarely get answered. Negativity produces all sorts of excuses and not enough action. 

It’s going to take a great deal of effort to overcome negativity. Positive and negative thoughts are
two forces that exist within us all. They’ll constantly be battling for your attention, and if you
want to become someone who’s positive, you’re going to have to find the willpower you need to
channel your energy towards positivity. The stronger force will be the one that wins out at the
end of the day. 

Getting rid of negativity is a challenge, and you need to be mentally prepared for that right from
the start. Beginning this process with the assumption that is going to be easy enough or that
results are going to happen overnight is only setting yourself up for disappointment. Patience is a
necessity that you carry out the following steps to eliminate negativity from your life:

Creating Some Distance - Start creating distance between anything negative that exists in your
life right now. Like breaking up from a bad relationship, you must begin separating yourself bit
by bit by trimming out any element in your life that is not doing you any favors. Stay away from
negative people and influences so they don’t have a chance to fester in your mind. There’s no
exception to this rule, not even people. Toxic individuals are now the people you need to stay
away from. If they happen to be family members you can’t exactly cut ties with, choose to spend
as little time as possible in their presence. Anyone who is contributing to your negativity is
someone you must distance yourself from. 

Watch Your Feelings - During the moments where you’ve got no choice but to be around toxic
family members, watch your feelings when you’re around them. As soon as you notice that your
mood is swinging towards the negative side, excuse yourself and walk away before your emotion
starts to get out of control. You don’t have to feel bad about it either. Chances are you’re not the
only one in your family who feels this way. 

Don’t Feel Guilty - This is your life and you owe it to yourself to put your happiness first. You
don’t need to feel bad or guilty about choosing to remove the toxic people from your life. No one
should have the power to stop you from being happy. Doing what is best for you can be the best
thing you end up doing. Leave the guilt at the door; there’s nothing wrong with wanting to put
your best interest first.

Avoid Arguing - You’ll never win an argument with negative people. The only guaranteed
outcome is you’re going to end up even more miserable than when you started. Another reason
why you need to work on eliminating the toxic people from your life is that you’ll get drawn into
their unnecessary drama. Minimize the time you spend with them and if they try to draw you into
their arguments, walk away.  

Positive Replacement - Positive thoughts and negative thoughts are like yin and yang. For every
negative thought that your mind can churn out, there’s a positive counter to it. All you need to do
now is replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. 

Having identified those who bring negative influence into your life, the next logical question you
should ask yourself is "how do I handle these individuals that influence me negatively?".

We have highlighted some steps below to help you handle negative influences.

Spend less time with negative individuals

As soon as you successfully identify negative people in your life, you should take steps to avoid
them. It doesn’t matter where the negative person is. Put some distance between you and them.
This will give time to think about yourself and rediscover yourself without them being around to
distract you.

You can distance yourself from negative people by reducing the amount of time you spend on
the phone with them if they are a bit far from you. You can also avoid having a one- on -one
conversation with them. Have positive friends around you when you want to talk to them so they
can see what positive thinking is all about.

 
When you want to go out shopping or maybe dinner, rather than being alone with your cynical
friend, invite other friends to join you guys. This will stop you from being left alone with your
cynical friend.

You are in control of your time. No one else is. Don’t allow a negative person to dictate how you
spend your time. They are energy drainers. A time that is wasted is a time that can’t be
recovered. So, spend your time wisely. They will never contribute anything meaningful to your
life, other than push you to join them in whining away your precious time. Spending one hour
with a negative person will make you lose three hours of your time. Hours that could have been
put into some positive use. Don’t allow negative people to waste your time. When you allow
them into your life, you are doomed. Instead of listening to whatever they have to say, distract
yourself with some fun activities. Listen to music, take a stroll, or better still, just excuse
yourself.

Build Boundaries Between You and the Source of Your Negative Influence

To remove negative influence on your life, set boundaries between you and the source of the
negative influence. Building boundaries will make you feel safe and in control around a negative
influence. While setting up boundaries may be useful in handling certain individuals, you may
discover that some will try to infringe on these boundaries. Try to maintain your limits as much
as possible even when you feel it has been encroached upon. Building boundaries to keep out
negative influence is essential, especially when your negative influence is the type you can't cut
off completely. An example is your boss, your parents, or siblings. Setting up boundaries will
limit their effect on your life and help you cope with their presence without any form of conflict
and live with them out of necessity.

To avoid being contagious, keep anything that could influence you negatively and that includes
negative people. It’s critical that you keep them at arm’s length. When in a group hangout, learn
to be concise and talk less. Being wordy with details will only exploit you and you could end up
talking about the things you aren’t meant to talk about.

 
Display a Positive Attitude with a Negative Person

For example, when your negative friend says that no one cares about you, say that your friends
or family love you very much. If they make a bad comment about something or someone,
counter their statement by saying how vital the thing is or how generous the individual they tried
to put down is. Canceling they negative words with your positive response will nullify their
negative influence on you and address their negativity openly and proactively.

Stop Negative Talk/ Thought About Yourself

Negative self-talk is as damaging as negative habits. You can engage in negative talk but only
focusing on the bad things happening in your life rather than the good ones. Negative talk can
also apply to the way you think about yourself. For example, a night of hangout may be canceled
by your pals. Rather than letting it go, you begin to tell yourself that it was canceled because of
you. You use words like 'no one likes me that is why they don’t want to hang out with me'.
Another example can be something like this. After having a very productive day at work, you
come home rather than being happy about your day; you begin to tell yourself how much work
you couldn't get done.

Furthermore, negative talk means that you have a narrow-minded view of the world around you.
When things are not working out for you and every turn, so there is no possible positive outcome
in sight, which means that you have a feeling of imminent disaster coming your way.

If you engage in this type of talk about yourself, it is time you put an end to it, or you won’t
remove negative influence from your family and life.

Turn Negative Talk to Positive Ones

If you want to remove negative influence, you need to turn negative talk about yourself to
positive ones. The power of the mind is crucial to the way you see yourself. Negative thoughts
lead to negative speech, and negative talk leads to negative influence. You can change all that
but having positive thoughts about yourself and, in turn, have a positive talk about yourself.

Start by evaluating any negative thought that comes into your mind. After evaluation, give a
positive response to that particular negative thought. Make use of positive responses like ' I can
do better than I did yesterday.' Make use of the ' can and will' phrase to dispel any negative
thought that comes to your mind. Remember, you are what you think of yourself. Change must
come from within before it can manifest outwards. Start your day every day with a positive
affirmation of yourself. With consistency in your part, you will remove negative influence in no
time from every area of your life.

Be Yourself

It’s easy to impress someone or look good for someone, but it’s not always wise. The simple fact
is you can’t always satisfy everyone. Instead of making yourself look good for others, why not
focus on making yourself happy? Don’t to impress anyone, let alone a negative person. Be
yourself and spend quality time trying to figure out the things that make you happy. Spend time
with people that will accept who you are and what you stand for. Don’t pursue the wrong thing.

Determine Your Attitude

A person associating with a negative person does so at his/her own peril. They are toxic and
introduce toxicity into your life. You don’t have the will power to make your own decisions
because you are surrounded by pessimists.

Don’t allow negative people to dictate how you should respond or how your mood should be.
You are yourself and in control of whatever that’s happening to you. Choose how you want to
behave. Choose how you want to be. Decide how you run your life because it’s yours and no one
else’s.

 
Negative people can bring out the worst in you. It’s quite normal. What’s more important is how
you let this negativity control you. Do not let your emotions get the better part of you. Determine
your state of reaction. If you find yourself in negative situations, learn to control your emotions.

Reduce Negative Habits

You can't get rid of or remove negative influence if you don't remove negative habits first. These
negative habits, like smoking, heavy drinking, and regular partying, could make you feel good
momentarily, but they have a lasting negative impact on your dreams and aspirations. They
generally leave you with a wicked hangover and a negative feeling in the morning. This negative
feeling in the morning will cause time mismanagement. Time mismanagement means that you
won’t have enough time during the day to pursue your dreams and engage in those activities that
will facilitate your career development.

Stopping all your negative habits will be a good way to handle negative influences in your life.
Still, from experience, I know it will be difficult to stop all bad habits suddenly, so I suggest
cutting back on your negative habits. This will go a long way to removing negative influence in
your life. For example, rather than go out every night after work to the bar for a couple of drinks
that usually lead to one too many, cut it back to once or twice a week.

Some people give the excuse of being stressed as the reason they drink every night. You can
handle your stress by engaging in healthy activities like evening runs around your neighborhood.
If you’re not fond of running, you can get a bicycle and cycle around your neighborhood as well.
You will feel less stressed after engaging in any of these activities. You might as well have
friends over once or twice a week and cook for them. Social interaction is one good way to get
rid of stress.

Have a Positive Lifestyle

You can get rid of negative influence by leaving a positive lifestyle. You can start by having
healthy meals. Healthy meals should include a large portion of self-made meals and less junk. A
balanced diet of protein, vegetables, and fruits, as well as milk, should be part of your meals.
Remember to drink adequate water as well to stay hydrated. Cut down or soda or possibly avoid
it completely as well as other sugary drinks.

The next part of your positive lifestyle should be to get sufficient sleep. This is one thing most
people don’t pay much attention to but, a sufficient amount of sleep every day plays a role in
your mood and how you feel about yourself. When you get a sufficient amount of sleep, you
won’t get exhausted before the day even begin and you will be in a good mood. In the current
economy, it is easy for you to neglect sleep but it is essential you sleep at a fixed time to ensure
you don’t deviate from it. Set up your bedroom to ensure you get as much sleep as possible. If
you maintain your sleep schedule, you will find yourself more relaxed and in a better positive
frame of mind.

Furthermore, the recommended time for adequate sleep is nine hours, ensure you get up that
number in a day.

Take Note of Your Unhealthy Habits

It is normal for an individual to have some unhealthy habits so you shouldn’t feel that you are the
only one with them. However, knowing what your bad habits are and looking for ways to
eliminate them will assist you to remove negative influence.

To effectively take note of these bad or negative habits, think about habits that make you feel
depressed and sad about yourself. Those habits that leave you with the feeling that your life
sucks and drains your energy making it difficult for you to focus on doing things that will aid
your development and influence your life positively.

The obvious examples of these habits are heavy doses of alcohol consumption, substance abuse,
heavy partying and unhealthy eating habits. The less obvious ones are unhealthy relationships
that leave you with senses of depression and sadness. Another example of this type of habit is
self-esteem hate and loathing, low self-esteem. It's highly recommended that you document these
bad or negative habits so you can know how to handle them.

 
Chapter 5: Positive thinking

When you develop and improve positive thinking, it goes beyond just what you think about that
makes you smile. It becomes your environment. It becomes who you are as an individual.
Positivity - just like negativity - consumes us. It can be tough to think positively when you have
a rough day or when everyone or everything around you seems depressing or worrisome. But the
truth is when you think positively, your aura and mind stop looking for the bad in every
situation, and you become grateful for these hard days and extreme failures because they shape
your destiny. In every horrible scenario, there is good that you can take from it. At first, seeing
the positive in situations can be very difficult, but it will become so easy that you won't even
need to think, the positive will be there.  

So how do we do it? Here are four ways that you can develop positivity in your life: 

Focus on three (or more) positive things daily      

Before going to sleep at night, rehash your day in your mind. Think about everything that
happened and take three positive perceptions away from the day. It could be anything. Was the
sun shining? Did you reconnect with an old friend? Maybe your boss or coworker wasn't that
grumpy today, making you have a less stressful day. The more you start seeing the little positive
effects, the more your perception of positivity will develop, and the quicker happiness and
success will come.   

Do something nice for someone.  

It may not seem like it, but acts of kindness can lift your spirits and lift someone else's spirits.
When we do excellent for others, we feed our soul with positivity because those chemical
endorphins shoot off in our brains as a reward response. These acts could be anything, such as
smiling at a stranger, waving to a coworker, or pausing to do something thoughtful for someone
you know. When you make someone else smile, your heart smiles, making you feel better about
yourself and developing confidence.   

Be in the present.  

If I haven't said this enough, then let me repeat it: Be mindful! Once we live in the moment, it
creates balance and structure in our awareness of what is going on around us. When we become
aware of our surroundings while staying in the present moment, we will be able to better pick up
on the positive things that happen, and negativity will seem like a distant friend.  
Practice self-love and gratitude  

The thing about positivity is that when you love yourself, it becomes easier to help others and
give back to the universe. Just think about it - if you don't love yourself, then your relationships
fall apart faster, your job never seems to feel satisfying. You continuously second-guess your
ability to handle stressful situations. However, when you love yourself, you can be thankful for
what you have because you have it. You won't be asking for more or for things that you don't
have, and envy or jealousy won't seem like important things to worry about anymore. Being
grateful for the human that you are required self-acceptance and a deeper understanding of what
you want in life. So, any chance you get, be grateful for what you have rather than envy what
you don't have. The grass is rarely greener on the other side.   

Changing Your Mood  

Most of the time, we get stuck in negative thought-patterns because our moods are dark. It's a
cycle - negative or worrisome thoughts bring on bad moods, which bring on perceptions of more
negative outcomes, making it hard to make crucial decisions because our minds are crowded,
leading to overthinking (or negative thoughts), and so on. Some days we don't want to get out of
bed, and other days we are motivated, which produces "feel good" chemicals that result in
getting more done. So, on the days you feel down, stressed out, anxious, or depressed, think
about the productive days and draw from that energy. Sometimes, it is okay to give in to your
dark mood; try not to sulk or make it a daily habit.   

Here are ways to change your dark mood to a lighter one when you feel stuck in the mud:   

Get exercise  

We talked about this already as well. When you work out, those "feel good" chemicals released
in your brain and instantly change your mood. It is also a good distraction from your bad mood
because instead of focusing on what got you so upset, you can focus on other things, like the
scenery or you’re breathing. Make sure to drink water while you work out as being dehydrated
can make you feel worse.   

Listen to or watch motivational material  

When you don't feel like moving or getting out of bed and just one of those days, watch an
inspiring movie or listen to an uplifting podcast. Even though we like to listen to music that
matches what we feel in our down moments, ignore this urge and do the opposite - crank some
happy, upbeat tunes. Who knows, it may even want to make you dance or sing. It will lift your
spirit 60% faster by listening to or watching motivational material over listening to or watching
harmful, depressing material. Interestingly, when we listen to what suits our mood at the
moment, we are training our brains that these attitudes are okay, and then we find ourselves
falling deeper into the negative cycle.  

Change your body language  

This means that you should act and behave the way you want to feel. So, if you want to feel
confident, then prance around the house in the sexiest or wackiest thing that you have and pose
in front of a mirror with your chest puffed out and your back straight. If you want to feel relaxed,
then throw on your comfy clothes and lounge around, but be mindful of what you tell yourself.
Force yourself to smile for 60 seconds, and I guarantee your mood will lift, even if only slightly.
Don't let negativity consume you; break free by being you. Be funny, laugh, tickle yourself, talk
to someone about your aspirations and dreams, or do whatever you need to get out of the funk
you are in and into the mood you want to have.   

Be grateful or have an appreciation for everything.  

Here is a weird, funny fact: We find it normal when someone goes around and complains about
everything. We listen to our friend's vent, our parents' bicker, our bosses complain, and even
strangers arguing with themselves sometimes. It is "normal" to listen to someone complain and
bicker about things, but wouldn't it be weird if we heard someone going off about how grateful
and appreciative, they are about everything? How typically do you hear an individual say, "It is
raining outside, and I am so grateful for the rain," or, "Food is often taken for granted, so I just
wanted to take a moment to feel blessed for this food." Have you ever heard someone say, "I
appreciate that my kids scream and give me attitude because it means that they are growing
human beings?" No, you probably haven't. Imagine if you said out loud everything you were
grateful for today, everything you appreciated today and even yesterday. Just envision how you'd
feel and what you'd make someone feel. You may even have a good laugh, but isn't that the
point? Practice this.  

Force positivity, even when you don't feel like it  

The truth about your thoughts is that they do not control you. This is the same with moods; they
don't control you. So, when you have a hard time practicing or enforcing the past techniques, do
it anyway. Force yourself to smile, force yourself to get out of bed and dance, force yourself to
feel grateful. Once you get up and force positivity in your day, you are taking control of your
surroundings and your behavior. This teaches your brain that, even in down times and dark
moods, you control how you react to them, which creates positivity and healthy habits.  
Enforcing Positive Habits  

Sometimes thinking positively and changing your mood isn't enough to develop a positive
attitude regularly. You have to create habits so that your brain stops synapsing the negative
enforcements you have created and starts synapsing the positive ones. While the past exercises
will work for the short-term, you will need to practice these every day and create healthy daily
habits. If you stay consistent in creating positive habits, you will become less anxious, less of a
"worrywart," and more easy-going. The minute you know you have succeeded in being positive,
you stop feeling tense during the day, and you see the light in all situations. You will feel clear-
minded, and you will have acceptance of what you can't control, meaning you have
acknowledged that negativity no longer consumes you as you have taken the control back.

What is it and where does positive energy come from?

It takes a lot to think positive. That is because our brains are wired to think negatively than
positively. 80% of about 60,000 thoughts that ruminate in the mind are negative thoughts.
However, nothing good comes out of thinking negative. No matter how the brain is wired, you
can unwire it to think positively often. Negative thoughts are dangerous, evil and something that
you must get rid of by any means possible. A cluttered mind will yield into negative thinking, so
the first step to declutter your mind is by thinking positive.

For you to start thinking positive, you need to cultivate a positive mindset. The power to create
and destroy starts from the mindset. The mindset is the framework of the mind and houses the
pattern at which you think. Adopting the right mindset will act as a shield against any negative
thinking and baggage that may devour the mind. By adopting a positive mindset, you are
shutting away anything that is detrimental to your success and progress. The truth is a cluttered
mind thinks of nothing positive or progressive. He/she is in a loop of his/her thoughts. That is,
such a person is going round in circles. When you have a negative mindset, you’re shutting the
doors of opportunities, ideas at your face. At the end, you have nothing. Free up that mind of
yours by thinking positive.

One of the simple, yet effective way to think positive is by affirming positively. Words are
powerful. When you constantly look yourself in the mirror and say a word or two positively,
chances are that you are ready to overcome the challenges and obstacles that you may encounter
that day. Any negative thoughts or anything that will keep your mind occupied unnecessarily is
laid aside because you have affirmed that you are going to do this and that you are not going to
let that happen to you. Thinking positive, affirming positive is one of the ways to control your
thoughts and shun anything that will clutter your mind.

Negative thinking can’t be entirely stopped, no matter how you try. It’s part of the human
psychology to think negative at times, but the goal is to think more often, positively. To think
more positively, you need to reduce the way you think negative. One part of the equation
balances the other. You can’t be thinking negatively and positively at an equal level. The
increase in one lead to the decrease in one.

Another way to think positive and shun a cluttered mind is by engaging in workouts. If you are
not the busy type or the morning to evening work type, you can dedicate 20-45 minutes of your
time and head to the gym. It will clear your mind, brighten your morning and imbibe some good
thinking into your mind. If you can’t head to the gym, you can do a simple morning jogging. It
will put away any chance of you having to think negative or having a cluttered mind for good. It
will refocus your mind and channel your energy into achieving your goals.

Another way to think positive is by surrounding yourself with positive company. Sure, you know
that people are greatly influenced by the company they keep. Your company can either keep you
happy or gloomy. They can influence you positively or negatively. If you are in a company of
bad or unserious people, your head will be filled with irrelevant, disturbing things. You will be
reminded of things you don’t want to. You will be coerced to do things that you are not willing,
in the name of suggestions. Your mind will be so cluttered that you can become depressed,
stressed or even develop one form of illness to the other. If you need to change your circle of
friends to avoid having a cluttered mind, do it. They will act as a deterrence to your goals,
ambition and progress.

Another effective way to declutter your mind is by adopting the pause and breathe technique.
This simply means that when your head is on the verge of exploding from numerous thoughts,
take a minute, pause and take a deep breath. Repeat process twice or thrice. You will experience
some kind of relief within yourself. You will see that you have become better, more goal
oriented and focused.
 

You can equally distract yourself when you see that your thinking has been cluttered. Think of
yourself doing something crazy, that you can’t imagine doing. Better still, you can call a loved
one, relative or have a close friend invited over for dinner or a drink. Doing any of these
distractions will declutter your mind and subdue any thoughts that does not contribute to the
good of your wellbeing.

Remember, imbibe a positive mindset in order to think positive.

5 characteristics of highly successful people

You want to think critically about your work, but watch out for overthinking things. If you find
you are thinking about the same thing repeatedly, it is time for a new approach. 

It is understandable to worry that your idea is not good enough and believe that you can make it
better by spending more time thinking about it. But when you obsess over it, you are wasting
time and energy. Here are five ways to help stop yourself from overthinking:

1.     Perfection can negatively impact your productivity.

A study of professors showed that those who self-reported being perfectionists published fewer
papers and were less cited in journals than their colleagues. Perfection impacts your productivity.

Ask yourself, “Is it more important that I be perfect or that I be productive?” Perfection, even if
you think you may have obtained it, is unattainable. 

Perfection is an unrealistic goal, a goal that can undermine your productivity and ability to get
things done effectively and efficiently. That is, you don’t have to be a perfectionist to be
productive. You don’t have to be a perfectionist to be effective. You don’t have to be a
perfectionist to be successful.

2.     You are smart.

Trust yourself. You are in your role because you have the intelligence to do the job.

You don’t have to overthink. Believe in yourself. Believe in your idea. Have confidence.

3.     You will make mistakes.

You are human. You will make mistakes, even if you think intensely about your work. Don’t
waste your time and energy overthinking. 
Still, knowing that there is always the potential for mistakes does not excuse you from putting in
a solid effort and giving your best and all to your work. You may be human, but you are also
smart. Put your intelligence to work.

4.     Few ideas become better by thinking more.

People tend to think that if they brainstorm more, they will come upon a better idea than the
initial idea. Research suggests that this is untrue and that people underestimate the originality. of
their ideas. 

Successful people brainstorm, but they don’t overdo it. You may have felt drained after a long
brainstorming session. It could be telling you that you drained your energy on an idea that did
not get better over time. Stop overthinking.

5.     Time is money.

In business, time is money. The more time you spend on one thing, the less time you spend on
something else. Make sure you are spending your time the right way. 

Some work products need to be excellent. Some work just needs to be good enough. Successful
people are smart enough to know the difference and to discern the level of effort and care needed
for each task or project.

Overthinking is overdoing it, which means that it is unnecessary. Fight the urge to be perfect.
Remember you are smart and, even despite that, you will make mistakes because you are human.
Ideas don’t tend to get better with time, and time is money.

5 ways to get motivated in life

You might think that any subject related to “positive thinking” might be covered mostly by
psychologists or life coaches. You might have never thought that the medical community might
actually start looking into the topic. But they did, and the results are pretty surprising. According
to Mayo Clinic (Mayo Clinic Staff, n.d.), positive thinking provides you with many benefits
including:

       Lower rates of depression

       Longer life

       Lower stress levels

       Improved cardiovascular health

       Improved coping skills during times of stress

Of course, a lot of people might say, “How is cardiovascular health involved in all of this?”

Your cardiovascular health depends on a lot of factors. It depends on your diet, the hours of sleep
you get, the degree of stress you face, and more. Negative thoughts fuel negative emotions,
which in turn causes stress to arise easily in your brain. For example, you are in bad traffic and
your thinking is already in a negative state. You are already adding stress to your brain because
your thoughts keep conjuring ideas and memories that trigger stress. Because of that, you might
not be able to deal with the traffic well. This means more stress. Which in turn means that you
exacerbate your negative emotions. And eventually, you have a cycle.

When your body is under a lot of stress, it increases cholesterol and blood pressure levels. That
in turn affects your heart.

Positive thinking is not just essential for good mental health, but contributes to good physical
health as well.

How exactly can we create a positive mindset? Let us examine some of the ways.

1. Start Your Day with Affirmations

The tone you adopt in the morning can dictate how the rest of the day might proceed. Why not
set a positive tone for yourself? In fact, have you ever had an experience where you woke up in a
state of panic, wondering if you forgot to complete an important task or if you are late for
something, only to realize that nothing has happened and it was just your nerves? Or have you
woken up once in such a state of stress that you could not even finish the coffee you made for
yourself? All of these situations have occurred because when you start your day poorly, the
emotions trickle over to the next day. Eventually, you are living in a constant state of stress and
negativity. Affirmations are simple phrases that help you focus on positive emotions. Every time
you wake up, start the day with phrases like:

       Today, I shall face my day with courage and positivity.

       Today might be challenging, but so is any day of the week. I shall not let these challenges
change my perspective of the world and create negativity.

       I am an incredible person and despite today’s events, I will not look down on myself.

       Today is going to be a good day.

       I’m going to be awesome and nothing is going to convince me otherwise!

You can always create your own positive affirmations depending on the situation.

2. Think About the Good Things, No Matter How Small They Are

Don’t wait for a big moment to occur in your life. Look at every small event as another positive
contribution. Here is the reality of life: no matter how much you want to avoid obstacles; you are
going to encounter them every day. Each obstacle is something that has the potential to add to a
whole pile of negative things. Eventually, you will feel that your life has too much negativity in
it. What you are experiencing is small things that have accumulated to become something
intimidating.

The same rule applies with the positive things in your life as well. Keep collecting them, no
matter how little they seem. Eventually, the number of positive things will add up to become a
dominating presence in your life.

3. Crank Up Your Humor

Don’t let the dark situations get you down. Teach yourself to see the humor in things. Remind
yourself that the situation you are in is going to get better eventually. After all, life goes on.
Regardless of what happens to whom, life is a continuous ticking clock. So, make a joke out of
the things that have happened to you and move on.

4. Failures Are Lessons

Success finds those people who are not brooding over their failures, but are finding ways to
move past them. But the only way that can happen is if they choose to learn from their failures.

You too should approach your failures with tact and wisdom. Let your failures teach you a
lesson; do not let them define your life. Bill Gates is defined by the success of Microsoft because
he let that be the focus of his attention. If he had let his failures define him, then he would be in a
different position rather than on the Forbes list of billionaires.

5. Watch Out for Negative Self-Talk

It’s not unusual for people to berate themselves when they commit an error. How many times
have you thought “I shouldn’t have done it? I was going to fail anyway” when you tried
something and didn’t succeed at it? Or you might have thought one of these critical thoughts:

      Why do I even bother with such things anyway?

       What am I doing? I should have just stuck to what I know.

       If only I hadn’t tried something new, this wouldn’t have happened.

Every time you create a negative statement about yourself, you are forcing your brain to think in
a particular manner. And we don’t need to go into the details of how your subconscious is going
to latch on to those negative thoughts and run with them.

So, what should you do if you are faced with negative self-evaluations? You turn them into
positive ones.

Let’s say that you tried to do something and it failed. Rather than thinking:

●       I shouldn’t have tried. This is what happens when you don’t stick to what you do.

Think of it this way:

●       So that’s what happens if I do it this way! Interesting! I’ll remember this and make sure I
don’t do it this way in the future. Or even if I do, I will plan better. Let’s look at my other
options.

Notice the difference? In the second response, you acknowledge that a mistake has been made.
But you see it in a positive light. You allow it to teach you rather than defeat you. Make sure that
you are not denying the fact that you have made a mistake. Denial has its consequences.
What is so bad about denial, you ask?

A lot.

One of the things that denial prevents you from doing is seeking help. We are not all perfect.
Sometimes, we need help in our endeavors. That does not mean that we are weak or unskilled. It
just means that we might need an extra pair of hands (or more) to help us with our project.

Denial also prevents us from acknowledging problems. If you feel that there are no problems,
even when there are, then you won’t learn to grow or deal with them. Eventually, those problems
worsen and affect your life immensely at a later time.

There are two things you can do with a problem.

You can choose to face it and learn to handle it. Or you can choose to ignore it, and watch it
dismantle things in your life.

Among the two options, the ideal choice is obvious.

Chapter 6: Gratitude

What is an attitude of gratitude and benefits of this to your life?

I have heard many people ask the following questions:

"What is an attitude of gratitude?"

"Can an attitude of gratitude change my life?"

"What are the benefits of having an attitude of gratitude?"

How often in life do you catch yourself complaining? Or how often do you find yourself seeing
the negative things in life more than the positive? Or, to put it plainly, do you have more bad hair
days than good ones?

Hmm. If you answered yes to that last question, it's okay, friend. But you know what? Maybe
you're missing out on something very essential in your life, something that when applied and
developed it can drastically change your life.

Yes, I assure you, it will change the way you think and your perspective on life; it will give you
more enthusiasm and happiness in life.

Here is the secret: An attitude of gratitude.

Yes, this simple thought adjustment can dramatically change your life.

Let's start by answering the question, "What is an attitude of gratitude?"

For me, it is simply seeing beauty and being thankful for everything in your life right now.

It's about being grateful for everything, even the little things, right now.

It may be for the food you have in your refrigerator, the computer you use to connect to the
Internet, or even the shampoo and soap you use in the shower.

An attitude of gratitude sees even the smallest thing, the smallest act, the smallest service, and is
always thankful for all of it.

"Thank you’d" can be used everywhere. A quick "thank you" to the person who serves you in a
restaurant, or saying "thank you" to the bus driver who drives you to work, can really make a big
impact not just on your day, but also on the day of those whom you have thanked so genuinely.

That's an attitude of gratitude.

Here are the 3 Benefits of Having an Attitude of Gratitude in Your Life:

1. Gratitude Can Make You Happy Instantly

Yes, "instantly." Do you want a proof?

Okay, let's do an experiment. Go get a pen and a piece of paper; list 10 things that you are
grateful for right now. You can write anything, and I do mean anything, which you can think
about.

Go, now! Stop reading! I'll wait.

Well, did you, do it? What did you feel? Or should I say, "How do you feel now?" Do you feel
happy now? See! I told you so!

Maybe you couldn't stop writing after the 10th thing. Maybe you surpassed that and wrote 12,
15, or more than 20 things on your gratitude list. That's okay; notice the wonderful effect of an
attitude of gratitude in your life.

Isn't that a great feeling? What if you did this every day? What if you did these 365 days of the
year? You can imagine the cumulative effect that this will have in your life. You'll be happier,
calmer, and feel a deeper sense of purpose. You will be more positive than ever before.

That's the power of gratitude.

As William Arthur Ward puts it, "Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn
routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings."

So, friend, always be grateful for everything you have. The more you say "thank you," the
happier you will be.

2. Gratitude Can Make You Healthier

It's true, an attitude of gratitude can make you healthier. Many studies have proven this to be a
fact.

Here's the proof: There was one study conducted by Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D. (University of
California), and Mike McCullough (University of Miami), wherein participants were divided
into three groups.

Each group was given a different task. The first group was assigned to keep a journal of those
things that they were grateful for in the past week.
The second group was assigned to keep the exact opposite type of journal from the first group. In
other words, they were to specifically note the hassles they had in the past week.

The third group was assigned to keep a journal on what affected them in the past week whether it
was positive or negative.

Care to guess what the results were?

After 10 weeks of journaling, members of the group that kept the gratitude journals were feeling
a lot better about their lives as a whole and were 25% happier than those who kept a journal
focusing on the hassles in their lives.

The study also confirmed that those in the gratitude group reported fewer health complaints, and
exercised an average of 1.5 hours more.

That is amazing, isn't it? That's how powerful gratitude is – but it doesn't end there!

A later study by Emmons used those same participants, but this time, instead of completing their
gratitude journal every week, they were assigned to keep their gratitude journals daily.

What was the final outcome of this experiment?

Those participants in the gratitude group became more sympathetic toward others.

They are now kinder, offer others emotional support, and help others with personal problems.

Not only can we reap these benefits of gratitude in our lives, but many studies have also shown
that being grateful can improve our sleep habits by allowing us more rest each night, which
makes us feel more refreshed each morning.

Also, those who keep gratitude journals every day feel more satisfaction with life as a whole,
more positive and optimistic about the coming week, and more connected with others in a whole
new way.

So, keep a gratitude journal daily. The best time to do this is in the morning so that your thoughts
will be moving in the direction of positivity and gratefulness each day.

Always remember, friend, "When you start the day right, your whole day will be bright." Start
your day with gratitude, and you will see the positive effects for the rest of your day.

3. Gratitude Attracts the Things You Want and Desire

Yes, once again we see the law of attraction.

Have you ever noticed how the law of attraction manifests itself in your life? Have you ever used
this law before? Are you aware that you are already using it in your life?

Allow me to answer for you: Yes. The law of attraction manifests itself depending on the
thoughts you are sending into the universe, those vibrations which you send, either positive or
negative.

The result? It's also either positive or negative.

Did you know that when you're thankful and grateful for everything you have, you are sending
positive vibrations to the universe, and you are telling it that you are prepared to receive more
into your life?

The law of attraction manifests itself in me a lot of times. It is those times which I'm really
thankful for everything God has given me, even the smallest things. That's why God has blessed
me so much in my life.

Every morning, I spend time with God; I read my Bible, pray, and worship Him. It is during that
time I praise God and thank Him for all the things He has done for me, and I thank Him for all
the desires of my heart which I know He will give me.

And it seems like miracles continually come to me every single day. I am amazed by all the great
things God has done for me. I know it is because I've chosen to have an attitude of gratitude,
because I am thankful for everything I have – that is why God has blessed me so much.

Yet, I know, some of you are asking, "Andrian, what's the connection between the law of
attraction and being thankful and praising God?"

I will tell you: The law of attraction can be found in the Bible.

In Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV), it says, "As [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he."

Meaning, whatever you think about, you will attract, and you will become.

If you think about all the good things in your life, you will attract good things.

At the same time, if you think about all the blessings, you now have, and if you will be thankful
for them, you will attract more of them.

That's the law of attraction, and that's the law of God, as well, according to the Bible.

Allow me to share here the things which I personally do to attract blessings into my life:
Pray – Always pray for everything you want. If it's God's will, He will grant it. But you need to
be patient because God's timing is always perfect.

Praise – Praising God and thanking Him in advance for all the desires of your heart will attract
more of those positive blessings which you want in your life, just like a magnet. Always praise
and thank God in advance.

Positive Self-Talk – Wherever you are, you are always talking to yourself through your thoughts.
So, remember to always say things which boost your confidence, motivate you, and energize
you, like "You are beautiful/handsome." "You are awesome." "Great job, you’ve nailed it!"

Be with Positive People – I always encourage everyone to be around positive people; those who
help you, nurture you, guide you, and support you. Stay close to positive people. You can find
them in church, or in a club related to your hobbies or passion, or in an online community that is
designed to encourage and motivate you.

Always remember, friend, to be grateful for everything you have, and always be positive. You'll
notice that you attract more of what you want when you keep your mind focused on an attitude
of gratitude.

Those are the top three benefits of an attitude of gratitude. Here's a quick recap of those benefits:

1. Gratitude can make you happy instantly

2. Gratitude can make you healthier
3. Gratitude attracts the things which you want and desire

There you go, friend. We've just answered the questions, "What is an attitude of gratitude?" and
"What are the benefits of gratitude in our lives?"

I know I've given you a lot to think over regarding these insights about the benefits of gratitude.

"What I see in the Bible, especially in the book of Psalms, which is a book of gratitude for the
created world, is a recognition that all good things on Earth are God's, every good gift is from
above. They are good if we recognize where they came from and if we treat them the way the
Designer intended them to be treated." (Philip Yancey)

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent

moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." (John Milton)

Friend, always have an attitude of gratitude and life will reveal new and amazing blessings for
you.
Conclusion

To wrap up, let’s go over the key messages that you can walk away with after putting
down this book. What can you take away from this journey? How can you implement through
the rest of your life, and become a little better at handling your thought patterns? How can you
implement the techniques and messages you’ve learned into your own day-to-day life?

What have we learned about overthinking and anxiety?

I encourage you to take away the following key points on overthinking, armored with the
knowledge you need to overcome this common habit, and become more present and fulfilled in
your life.

First of all, although it may seem like you are the only one facing that tall unsurmountable wall
of racing or intrusive thoughts when you start to spiral into an episode of rumination, rest assured
that you are not alone. Almost everyone has faced a very similar inner turmoil at some point -
many people go through it on the regular! But just as overthinking isn’t a disorder or cause for
major alarm, neither is it the best way for our minds to operate. However, in order to achieve
maximum productivity as well as maximum emotional wellbeing - we need a healthy, clear, and
balanced state of mind.

Furthermore, you must focus on your present by forgiving the past, learning from mistakes, and
practice self-forgiveness. Accept that you simply can’t predict the future - as much as you may
try! A better use of your time and mental energy would be to overcome your fear of failure and
manage the pressure you put on yourself, thanks to social expectations.

As you will recall, a key part of being at peace with yourself is trusting your instincts. Of course,
that doesn’t mean believing that you are invincible, or that you can do no wrong. A degree of
thinking and strategy is always required. But aim to let go of obsessive, niggling negativity that
threatens to hold you back or deter you from reaching your goals, whatever they are. Or an
irrational quest for perfection that means you will never feel ready or good enough - when you
often already are!

To help you achieve this, you can try tapping into your flow state - that perfect balance between
rest and stimulation in order to perform and feel your best whatever you do. Then, get rid of
mental junk by practicing mental minimalism and decluttering your mind. Organize your mind at
work by planning - but also including sufficient breaks within this plan. Recognize that taking
breaks - just like eating, drinking and sleeping - are all a part of your success and mental clarity.
Just as you shouldn’t overthink at work, don’t overthink your relationships - and don’t forget
those telling studies I shared with you! The more you analyze your relationship, the more
“problems” you will identify. We all have real problems, sure - but avoid thinking further
problems into existence - that’s the last thing any of us need!

Remember that you are not defined by your thoughts, but more so what you actually do. As such,
it’s key to change your habits. Incorporate an optimal daily routine for both your mental and
physical health.

Change your environment when necessary. This means giving your mind a break by changing
the scenery - whether that’s working on something new for a while, taking a walk, or taking a
shower! A quick and simple break from whatever it is that’s setting your mind in a spin can be a
humble yet transformative way to boost your brainpower while giving your mind a break from
frantic overthinking.

Don’t forget to strive for excellence instead of perfection. Try to be a “perfect imperfectionist”
instead– by being productive but in a more healthy and balanced way, and stop chasing the
unreachable and anxiety-fueling myth of perfection!

Fight chronic indecisiveness and decision fatigue by not sweating the small stuff and making
room for the bigger issues in your life. You will now be able to implement the 40/70 rule of
decision-making to avoid either diving in completely unprepared, or, on the opposite side of the
spectrum, being too afraid to take any action unless you know every single detail - often meaning
you either never take the action you need to, or only feel “prepared” when that ship has sailed....

You now also know the main causes of procrastination and why do you really put off the work
you know you need to do - whether it’s from a place of fear of failing, simply not giving yourself
the mental energy required, or overthinking every detail to the point that you are too
overwhelmed to begin... I hope you have now identified your own main obstacles, and how to
get around these to stop procrastination from holding you back. Overall, you will recognize any
self-sabotaging behaviors from now on: where they come from, and how to stop them in their
tracks.

Finally, I am happy to have equipped you with the basic theories behind mindfulness and
meditation, and how these ideologies can enable you to live more in the present, and feel both
more self-motivated and calmer. You will now be pretty darn knowledgeable when it comes to
how fixing your body is key to fixing your mind - as you cannot have one flourish without the
other, as well as how to utilize the power of breathing and rest for mental clarity. Not to forget
your now-thorough knowledge of the basics of pranayama breathing exercises - from your Nadi
Shodhana to your Brahmari...

Okay, it may take some re-reading of that part for it all to sink in! But just think how cultured
you will seem to bring up these terms at your next party… (You’re very welcome!)

Stop Overthinking! Some Final Thoughts

It’s true that we all naturally feel good when we have success, or feel validated by others. This
drive to succeed, just as our tendency to think deeply, are not inherently unhealthy habits to
keep. However, if you place too much of your worth or even identity down to this constantly
just-out-of-reach idea of perfection, and dream of success that is always one more achievement
away, we will never truly have inner-peace or calm the storm in your mind.

You must learn to feel fulfilled and worthy no matter what comes your way, and regardless of
what you achieve. This is truly the most powerful way to lay your overthinking habit to rest - to
simply be - and be content in doing so! To understand that you are not perfect - because you are
human. And to realize that making mistakes should not sentence you to a lifetime of ruminating
over what went wrong, or berating yourself constantly in your mind, needlessly re-living any
negative emotions you experienced...

Okay, I admit, it’s easier said than done to break these habits of a lifetime that take root way
back into childhood. That being said, you must start giving our own opinions the respect and
consideration that they deserve, and learning to make peace both with your past and all the
possible scenarios of the future, in order to focus on the present to live a fulfilled and mindful
life.

So, take a moment to reflect on what you truly want each day. No, not tomorrow - but right now.
What do you need? The chances are, what you really need is a lot less than you think once you
take away the worries of tomorrow. Imagine living most of your days in such a carefree manner,
far away from any intrusive worries about what tomorrow may bring?

So next time your thoughts start to race, and you start to obsess about something irrationally,
convincing yourself that the worst-case-scenario will happen, just remember where you’re at
right now: The oxygen entering your body; the absence of an immediate threat to your life. You
are okay. And whatever is threatening your peace - most likely - can wait. Your own emotional
wellbeing should not only take priority, but it is the key to your mental capacity anyway. Only
when you are mentally sound can you have any hope of solving your problems anyway! So,
remember that next time your anxiety levels rise, and you lose all hope.
Your negative thoughts only matter as much as you let them. And although it sometimes doesn’t
feel like it, you have some level of control over your own peace of thoughts and the emotions
that they inspire - and this control can be worked on with patience and practice. And once you
open your eyes to your potential to manipulate what you let affect you mentally, you will
experience true emotional resilience.

The Bottom Line

I initially promised you that if you manage to let go of damaging thoughts and mental habits, that
your mind would feel lighter, clearer, and more resilient to tackle any real problems you have -
with all the unnecessary worries no longer cluttering your precious mental space and draining
your precious mental energy.

By now, I trust you have a deep understanding of what overthinking truly is - how it can be
harmful and counterproductive - and perhaps most importantly, how you can overcome it and
keep your mind a much clearer and healthier place to be. I trust you will now feel more driven,
with a clearer direction in mind - both in terms of your success in life, but also in terms of how to
improve your relationship with your own mind, and how to reconnect with yourself to stop being
a slave to your anxiety, unconscious worries and intrusive thoughts.

To finish with a quote by the 14th century Persian Poet, Hafez, that I hope will allow you to walk
away today with the right mindset:

“Now that your worry has proved such an unlucrative business, why not find a better job?”