“Umbrella” by just_alex (PoE)

Why is it so hard to say goodbye to the ones we love? Is saying

“Goodbye” as hard as saying “I love you” ? Or is it harder?

Is it because we don’t want to hurt that person? Or we just don’t want to

hurt ourselves?

Or maybe we’re just afraid that we might not be able to stand for it.We’re afraid that after saying
goodbye,we’ll find
ourselves running back to that person.

But what if we can no longer go back even if we wanted to?

======================================================

In a private room of a Japanese restaurant,

“Why are you doing this to me? Anong kasalanan ko sayo para saktan mo ko ng ganito?” Tears roll down Karen’s
cheeks as she begs for an answer.

“I’m sorry,I’m really sorry.I can’t tell you now pero I’m doing this all for you.” Xander’s head was just bowed
down.Tears are also starting to fill
his eyes.

“All for me? Pinagpalit mo ko sa iba and it was for me?” Cries Karen as she wipes her tears.

“I’m sorry.Maiintindihan mo rin when the right time comes…” He closes his eyes to stop his tears from falling.

“I know na malaki yung atraso ko sayo. I have been very busy.I know masyadong kulang yung time na binibigay ko
sayo.Pero you know na I’m doing my best to make it up to you everytime
we meet.Bakit mo nagawa sakin to?”

“I’m really sorry Karen.I’m really sorry…We are in a long distance relationship,maraming bagay na nangyayari in
a week or two na hindi tayo
nagkakasama.I’m sorry…”

“I have been loyal to you.Pero ikaw? You always say you love me.”

“I really love you.I’m sorry…”

“Puro ka sorry,puro ka sorry.Wala ka na bang alam sabihin kundi sorry???”

“I’m sorry kung puro sorry lang yung nasasabi ko sayo sa ngayon.Maiintindihan mo rin ako one day…”

“Bakit hindi pa ngayon? I don’t know kung panong para sa kabutihan ko yung ginawa mo.Pinalitan mo ko habang
tayo pa.”

“I can’t tell you now…”

“I’m willing to listen.Bakit hindi mo pa sabihin ngayon para matapos na? You’re only hurting me more…”
“I’m sorry…”

“Sweetie is there something wrong? Parang matamlay ka?” Asks Karen.

“Wala Hon,I’m just tired.Sige,I’ll go my way na…” He kisses her on the cheeks and started to walk away.

She held him by the arm, “Sweetie I know there’s something wrong.Why don’t you
tell it to me? Maybe I can help…”

“Kaw talaga Hon. There’s nothing wrong.Pagod lang talaga ko.Don’t worry yourself.” He held her
hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Sure ka Sweetie?”

“Yes I’m sure.” He gave her another kiss,this time on her forehead.Then he
whispered “I love you so much.Always remember that…”

“I love you too Sweetie.”

And they parted ways…

====

A week after their last meeting,

They set to meet in a restaurant.Karen cancelled all her appoinments because she’s really
excited to see her love.She arrived earlier so she saw Xander as he
entered.And she was surprised…

“Hi.Kanina ka pa?” Asked Xander.

“Di naman.Who’s she?” She was staring at the lady beside Xander,whose hand
was holding Xander’s arm.

“Ahm Karen,si Sarah.Sarah si Karen.”

“Hi.” Greets Sarah.

Karen just nodded.She stared at the lady standing beside Xander.She’s pretty and it’s easy to tell that she has foreign
blood in her.
She looked back at Xander. “You never said that you’re going to take someone with you.” Her heart now starting to
beat fast.

Xander gave a seat to Sarah and he took another chair and sat beside her.This
made Karen’s heart beat even faster.She know something bad is going to
happen.Aleast to her.
She gathered all her strength to open her mouth and ask…

“What’s this?” She asked in the calmest voice she could pull out of her throat.

“Kumain ka na ba? Would you like to order something first?” Xander asked in return.
“I asked you,what’s the meaning of this? Bakit ka may kasamang babae sa date
natin at bakit ka sa kanya tumatabi?” She asked in a now louder voice.

Xander took a deep breath and released a sigh…

“Ok.I’ll go straight to the point…”

Karen held her breath.Trying to prepare herself for something she already have a hint what…

“Sarah is 9 weeks pregnant…” Xander started.

“By me…”

Silence…

It was almost a whisper but it came like thunder into Karen’s ears.Her
eyes started to moist.She bit her lower lip but a whimper still escaped
from her throat.She looked at him,he evaded her stare.Then at Sarah
whose head was bowed low.

“So that’s what’s wrong…” Was all she could say.

She picked up her bag and stood up.She walked for the door but he held her by the arm…

“Karen…”

“I’m ok.Please let me go…” She tried to release her arm from his grip but
Xander did not let it go.

“I said let me go!” And gave him a slap on the face.She stared at him but he couldn’t meet her stare.So he just
let go of her arm…

She ran towards the door and went out.Tears now flowing uncontrollably down her face.She was gasping for air…

==

Xander just stood there.His head bowed low.People in the restaurant are now
staring at him.He grabbed Sarah’s hand and led her out of that place
when someone called from behind…

“Sir yung inorder po nung sumampal sayo hindi pa bayad!” Yelled the waiter.

He took out his wallet and pulled out a 500 peso bill and placed it on the nearby
table.Then they headed for the door…

======

Karen was miserable for days after that incident.She can’t believe this had
happened to her.After everything they’ve been through.Just when she
thought that their relationship was strong.Just when she thought she had
loved the perfect man.Just when she thought that he loved her too.That
he was loyal to her.
She would find out that he has been cheating all along.That everything he had shown her were fake and everything
he had
told her were lies…

For more than a week she was like an empty shell.She goes to work,does her job,but talks to no one.Not even her
friends could comfort her.She eats while staring at nothingness.
After work she goes straight to her apartment.Where she would just lay down
on her bed and stare at the ceiling.Just stare at it thinking of
nothing.
Her mind is so tired of thinking about everything that has happened that whenever she tries to think of it again,her
mind would
just go blank.Until tears start to roll down her eyes and she starts
crying again until she falls asleep…

===

After days of crying and mourning for her broken heart,she just thought she needed to
talk to Xander about what happened.She needed an answer.She wanted to
know what made him do it.She knew she has imperfections but she knew it
wasn’t a problem.Not to Xander.
She can’t believe this has happened all of a sudden.Just weeks ago everything seems to be perfect for the
two of them…

She gave Xander a ring and they agreed to meet in a Japanese restaurant.

It was exactly 9pm.Xander was already there when she arrived.It was a small room with a low table in the middle.A
typical Japanese dining room.
When she saw him,she couldn’t believe how he has changed.He looked as if he hasn’t eaten for days.He also
looked pale.There are dark areas under his eyes.It seems he has been
awake since the last time they met.

There was a pinch in her heart upon seeing him.But she also felt that he deserves to be like that
after everything he had done to her.
But she missed him a lot.She wanted to wrap her arms around him and kiss him but she knew she
shouldn’t do it anymore…

There they talked.She asked for an answer.She begged for it.But all Xander could ever say was “sorry”…

She entered that place hoping for an answer and she left it still clueless
of what had really happened…

==

She is now outside on the streets,waiting for a cab.She left him in the restaurant when she
knew she wouldn’t get any answer from him.

She was still thinking about it when rain suddenly poured without notice.And it’s starting to
pour hard.
But she did nothing to cover herself.Nor did she run for a shelter.She just stood there,as if letting the rain drown all
the pain
in her heart and hide the tears in her eyes.

It’s good to feel the little droplets of water falling on her head,shoulders and face.Her
clothers are starting to get soaked.She’s starting to get cold but it
was nothing compared to the emptyness she’s been having in her heart for
days…
Then suddenly she felt the rain had stopped pouring on her.She looked left and right but saw that it’s still raining on
the
streets.Then she looked up and saw an open umbrella over her head.She
quickly turned around and…

“Xander…?”

How far can you go for the one you love?

Would you hurt her now to keep her away from an even greater pain to come?

Or would you stay by her side and share that pain together?

She looked behind her and she bumped on the chest of the man holding the umbrella.She lost her
balance.Instinctively,the left arm of the man quickly held her by the waist to catch her.She felt little bolts of
electricity as the palm of the man touched her back.Her blouse was a bit wet and cold so she could feel the warmth
of his palm...
She looked up to see his face...

"Xand..." She stopped.It wasn't Xander.It was a just stranger who probably saw her just standing under the rain.She
looked in his eyes and she saw something in it.She saw worry in his eyes.Worry and something else.She don't know
what it was but she knew there was something else...

"Are you ok miss?" Asked the stranger.

She regained balance and stood straight.But the man's hand was still on her back.She could still feel it's warmth and
it feels like burning.

"I'm fine.You can let go of me now."

"Oh I'm sorry." The man pulled his hand from her back. "I'm Jake by the way." And held out his hand to her.It was
the left hand.

"Oh..." And he transfered the umbrella he was holding to his left hand.Which got them both open for the puring rain.
"Oh..." As he quickly raised the umbrella again but it was too late coz they already got wet.
"I'm sorry." And he held out his hand again.This time it was the right hand. "I'm Jake." He smiled.

The man reacted funnily so a little smile broke out of Karen's face without her knowing.

"Maganda ka pala pag nakangiti."

That's when she noticed that she was smiling.She felt really good that second.It's been a while since she last
smiled.It's as if she was released of half the burden she had been carrying.
She looked at the man's hand.She hesitated for a while,but then she felt she owed this man something.He doesn't
seem to be an opportunist.She was sure that what she saw in his eyes was real.So she took his hand and...

"I'm Karen...Thanks sa payong ha.At sa pagsalo." And she smiled again.

And it was the start of their beautiful friendship.

====

Karen and Jake went out regularly.Whenever she was with him,she felt like no pain could ever hurt her.As if she
could stand strong on every storm.
But when she's back to being alone,everything would just come back.All the pain would start hurting her again.She
realized that she still love Xander.And it still hurts when the restaurant incident flashes back in her mind.

"Damn you Xander.How could you do this to me..." She said to herself one lonely afternoon.She can't help thinking
about it everytime she's on her bed and stares at the ceiling.
"I hate you for all the pain you have caused me.But I hate myself more for still loving you..." And tears started to fill
her eyes again...

Then her cellphone rang.She looked at the screen and saw it was Jake.

She sat on her bed,took a deep breath,and...

"Hello?" She answered.In the calmest voice she can.

"Hi there Miss..." Answered Jake.

"Bakit ka tumawag?" She asked.

"I just miss that beautiful voice."

"Haha.Wala kong piso." Her lips curved.

"And I miss the beautiful owner of that voice more."

"Dalawang piso na utang ko sayo." Now she's smiling.

"Kuripot mo naman.Dalawang piso lang?"

"Haha.Di nga,bakit ka tumawag?"

"Busy ka ba?"

"Hmmm...Teka check ko sched ko."

"Asus me ganun pa? Dinner tayo.Treat ko."

"Hmmm...Sige,I'll just cancel my meeting with Barrack Obama.Pati yung date ko with Robert Pattinson." Now she's
grinning.

"Wow tikas.Haha.Daanan kita jan ha.Mga seven."

"Ok po."

"Sige,see you later."

"Bye." And their short conversation ended.

She laid down on her bed again.She saw the ceiling once more.Then she tried to search her heart for the pain she
was feeling just seconds ago,but couldn't feel a pinch.
She couldn't believe that Jake was able to take away all those pain in just over a minute of telephone conversation.

"Pano mo ba nagagawa yun Jake?" She asked herself.

====

4 months quickly passed since they met,

They're having a candle light dinner in a fancy restaurant.Their first time since they met.
She knew something was coming.And she's ready for it.She already have an answer for it.But she still doesn't want
to expect.

"Hmm,why did you bring me here?" Asked Karen.

"For a change." Jake answered.

"Sus,nakakapanibago ka.Buti nalang nagskirt ako kung hindi baka di ako pinapasok." Then sipped champagne.

"Ahm Karen," Taking something out from the pocket of his pants.

"Yes?" She took another sip.Her heart now pounding.

"I have something to offer you." Then he brought out a brocure and handed it to Karen.

"Ano to?" She took the brochure and looked at it.

It's a brochure of a house and lot.

"Sa Alabang yan.Two storey house with four bedrooms and 3 toilet and bath.Yung master's bedroom may walk-in
closet and bath tub.450 sqm ung lot area.Fully landscaped din at..."

"Wait..." She intercepts. "Dinala mo ko dito just to sell properties?" She's really disappointed.

"Ahm,tingnan mo muna baka magustuhan mo..."

"Jake, its beautiful.Pero I don't need a house like this.Masyado syang malaki."

"Wait listen to me first."

"Jake let's just finish our meal tapos umuwi na tayo.Sorry,wala akong pambili nyang binibenta mo sakin."

"Who said na kailangan mo tong bilhin?" Then he reached for his pocket again.

She's puzzled.
"I love you Karen.Accept my love and we will live in that house for the rest of our lives together with our future
children." Then he held out a small black box and opened it in front of her.It was a golden ring with a small
diamond.

Karen was speechless.She was surprised.

A minute ago she was all prepared for this,but now she doesn't know what to do nor say.

She looked at the ring,then at Jake.There was so much emotion in her heart that her eyes were starting to flood with
tears.

"I want to marry you Karen.Please say yes.Sorry kung masyado akong mabilis.Hindi ako marunong manligaw kaya
direcho nalang tayo sa kasal." His voice filled with emotions too.

"Oh Jake..." Finally,words came out of her mouth.

"I wanna hear you say Yes." Jake pleads.

"Y-Yes..." She whispered.Tears now rolling down her cheeks.

Jake smiled,reached across the table and wiped the tears off her face with his thumb.

"Thank you so much Karen." His eyes starting to cloud as well.

"No...Thank you Jake." Holding his hand that was on her face. "Thank you for saving me."

"I love you Karen..."

"I love you too Jake..."

====

Their relationship went well.Jake made Karen forget all the painful memories that Xander had caused her.Now
there's only love and happiness in her heart.Love for Jake,and happiness that comes from her new relationship.

She is so happy now with her new relationship.Perhaps even happier than the previous one.Maybe because they're
just near one another.They could see each other anytime they want.

She's so thankful for having Jake.She considers him as heaven sent.Being there when she needed the most.

She realized that the night Jake covered her with his umbrella,it wasn't just against the rain but also against all the
pain that was showering her.That when he caught her body from falling to the ground,he also caught her heart and
soul from falling into the deep pit of sorrow...

=====

More than 2months after the proposal,

It was past 10 P.M. when Karen received a call from Jake.

"Yes Babes?" She answers.

"Babes I'm on my way to pick you up.I'll be there in about 15 minutes." Says Jake.

"Bakit Babes? San lakad natin?" She asks.

"Basta Babes.Maya ko nalang sabihin."

"Ok.I'll take a quick shower na."

"And Babes..,"

"Yes?"

"Wear white.Kahit yung top lang." And he cuts the line.

Karen was puzzled.It was the first time Jake asked her to wear a certain color...

==

Jake arrived and they left immediately.

Inside the car,

"San ba tayo Babes?" Karen asks.

"You'll know when we get there." Answers Jake.

"Sus surprise pa."

"Mejo malayo yun Babes kaya matulog ka nalang muna."

"Ganun? Ok po."

She's really sleepy so it did not take long before she fell asleep.

==

After almost two hours,Karen woke up.She looks at her watch and then at Jake.

"Babes malayo pa ba?" She asks.

"Malapit na Babes."

"Babes why do you look so serious?" She notices.

"Basta Babes." And he takes her left hand with his right and gently squeezed it.

The moment she felt that squeeze,something flashed in her mind.Fear started to crawl throughout her body.She felt
cold.
This has happened before.That gentle squeeze on her hand.

"Babes is there wrong?" She asks worriedly.

"Babes wait until we get there.Ok?" Jake calmly answered.

She's really worried now.She looks outside.Then she noticed a familiar sight.She's familiar with the direction they're
heading.With the road,the trees,the houses and establishments.She knows it too well.
She had traveled it several times before.And she wasn't alone in those travels.She was with someone.Someone who
had once been very special to her.
She traveled with Xander on that same route she is now taking with Jake.

"Babes I know this place." She says to Jake.

"Yes Babes.Kina Xander tayo pupunta."

"Bakit Babes? How did you know his place? And what are we gonna do there?" She is now puzzled and nervous at
the same time.

She always mention Xander to him and she has told him everything about her and Xander.But she never remember
telling him where Xander lives.

"I told you Babes,you'll know when we get there.Trust me.Ok?"

She just nodded her head.And she looked outside.Reminiscing all the memories of everything that hasn't changed
since her last visit to that place.

==

A few more minutes of driving and they arrived at Xander's place.They parked about two houses away.

Once again,memories flooded her mind and heart as she stepped out of the car.She noticed that there were cars
parked in that street.And all the lights of Xander's house were on.They walked towards the house and the gate that
was supposed to be for vehicles was opened wide.
And there were chairs and people.All in white.And there were flowers.Arranged on a tripod made of bamboo.They
were funeral flowers.

Chills crawled all over her body.She clung onto Jake's arm as they walked to enter.

And she almost fainted when she was greeted by a black cloth hanging on one wall of Xander's house.
Written in it,in huge,bold letters was Xanders full name...

Her knees trembled and she held on tight onto Jake''s arm for support.Jake also held her by the waist.

"Be strong Babes." He whispered to her.

As they walk inside,they were greeted by a woman whom Karen knows too well.It was Xander's mom.

"Tita..." Karen called in a voice as soft as a whisper.

Immediately the woman walked to her and gave her a really tight hug.

"Xander's gone..." She said in a sobbing voice. "My son has left us..." Her body now shaking...

Karen hugged her in return.As tight and as warm as the embrace of Xander's mom.
"W-what happened Tita? How?" She asks...

Then their hug loosened and Xander's mom moved a step back.She wiped her tears and started to speak.

"He was diagnosed with Leukemia about 8 months ago.It was in late stage so there's nothing we could do." Her
voice still trembling.

"Oh God!" Karen was shocked.

"I'm sorry Tita.I never knew." Tears started to well in her eyes.

"No Karen.Xander asked me to ask forgiveness from you.For not telling you."

"Oh Tita..."

"He kept it even from us for 2 months but we eventually found it out." Then she sobbed.Karen walked to her and
hugged her again.
"We found out from his doctor that he only has 3 to 4 months to live." She's shaking again.

8 months ago.Karen thought.Has it been 7 months since the restaurant incident? No.It has just been about over 6
months.So he already knew he's sick that time.And that's the reason why he looked so thin more than a week after
that in the Japanese restaurant...
"Oh God!" She said to herself. "He's already suffering then..."

"He lived longer than what the doctor predicted." The woman spoke again.This broke Karen's thoughts.
"And he always says it's because of you Karen.You were keeping him alive." She looked at Karen who's also crying
now.

"Why me Tita? How?" Karen asked.

"I don't know Karen,but that's what he always tells us..."

Now she got puzzled again.Xander already has a new girl who is pregnant with his child but he still keeps thinking
of her?

"You wanna see him? Pasok kayo." And she walked to lead them where Xander's casket lays.

Jake held her hand again.And they walked inside.

She can't believe her eyes.Xander has changed a lot.He has grown thinner than the last time she saw him.And his
head is now shaved.
Tears fall endlessly from her eyes down to her cheeks.

"Xands..." Was all she could ever utter.And she kept on sobbing.

Jake hugged her tight.Wishing he could absorb all her pain and sorrow.But ths time he is powerless.He can't take
away Karen's grief.

Then someone approached them.Karen knows who she is.It's Sarah.The one that was with Xander in the restaurant.

"Hi." Greeted Sarah.Who's also in white maternity dress.She counted in her head and predicted that she's already in
her 8th month of pregnancy.
"Hi." She greeted as she broke away from Jake's embrace.Then she wiped her tears.

"Remember me?" She asks.

"Yah,you're Sarah right? Xander's fiancee." She said in a calm tone.

Then a man whose about 2 or 3 years older than Sarah approached and handed Sarah a pink envelope.He looks
American.
"Here it is Honey." Then the man stood beside Sarah.

Karen got confused again.The man called Sarah "Honey".

"Ahm,I'm not Xander's fiancee." She started.

"We're cousins.This one right here is my real fiance." And she held onto the man's arm.

Sarah explained everything to Karen.How Xander asked her to pretend as his fiancee.She hesitated at first,but
Xander pleaded so she gave in.Without knowing the reason why he wants to do it to someone he said he loves so
much.
She tried to ask why but Xander never answered.

She said sorry to Karen and then handed her the pink envelope.

"Xander asked me to give it to you when you come here.He wrote it 4 days ago." And then she walked away with
her fiance.

She immediately opened the envelope and in it she found a letter.She started readng it...

==

Hi Hon,I would assume that you already know the truth as you read this letter.Alam ko na galit ka sakin for hiding
this from you.So I would like to ask for your forgiveness first.I'm really sorry Honey.Lam ko naman na
mapapatawad mo ko kasi pusong mamon ka.Hehe
Sana mapatawad mo rin si Sarah for her participation.Pinilit ko lang sya.She's such a nice girl.I'm sure
magkakasundo kayo.

I know na nagtatanong ka ngayon kung bakit ko kailangang gawin to.I'm really sorry Honey.I just don't want you to
see me at my weakest.I don't want you to witness my sufferings.And I'd hate it the most if I see you suffering with
me.
I want you to live your normal life.I know you're strong pero I don't want to leave this world with you still in
grief.Gusto ko pag-alis ko,naka move-on ka na.Gusto ko pag wala na ko,you already have your own life without
me.And you already have a new love.

I love you so much Honey that there was not a single minute of my concious mind na hindi kita inisip.I was always
worried for you.On how you have taken our break-up.I have been watching on you all those times.For countless
times I was tempted to come to you and hug you.Until one day you called and said you wanted to meet.

I'm sorry if you got no answer from me that night.I have thought of it a hundred times and have decided to not let
you know.I'm really sorry.

I'm so happy for you now and your new relationship.Jake is a really good man.I'm sure that he can take good care of
you.
You may be wondering why or how I knew Jake...
I'll tell you a little secret.I have met Jake even before you met him.About a minute earlier than you.You can ask him
the details.

I believe it was God who sent him to the right place at the right time.I have been praying for it since the day I found
out about my disease.

I'm thankful to God na pinagbigyan nya ko sa hiling kong yon.Kasi I told Him na I'll never leave unless I'm sure na
you're in good hands.

Thanks to my love and care for you that I broke my doctor's word.I lived longer than what everyone has expected.

As I write this letter,I know na It's about time for me to go.I can feel it.He's calling for me na.I'm still happy that I
would be leaving this world with a smile on my face.Knowing that God gave me my final wish.I'm lucky for being
here to watch it fulfill.

I love you so much Karen.I have never ceased loving you.And I'll always be watching you from where I would go...

-Xander

==

Karen is sobbing as she reads the letter.And she's crying unstoppably as she finished reading it.She was calling for
Xander's name.

Jake just hugged her.

And she fainted in his ams...

=====

On the day of the burial,everyone was still wearing white.

Xander has just been burried when rain suddenly fell.So the people immediately left for cover.

Jake immediately opened the umbrella he has taken with him.It was the same umbrella he used to cover her that
night.

"Lam mo ba kung kaninong payong to?" He asks Karen.

She just looked at him.

"Kay Xander to." He said.

"Ha?" She asked

"That night na umuulan,he approached me and asked me to hand this to you.Sabi nya hindi mo raw to tatanggapin
pag sya yung nagbigay."

"Oh..." Karen was shocked.She now understood what Xander was saying in his letter.
"About a month after that,he came to me and told me everything.And we became good friends.He entrusted you to
me and I thank him for his trust."

The rain turned to drizzles.And Jake handed her the umbrella.

"Park ko lang yung car sa malapit dito." And he left.

She looked at Xander's tombstone.Tears started to fill her eyes once more.

"My God Xander..."

"Thank you so much for everything." She sobs.
"Thank yo so much...For your sacrifices and for giving me Jake." Tears fell from her eyes once more.But not
because of grief.It's because of gratitude.

Then she closed the umbrella and placed it beside Xander's tombstone.

"Im giving it back to you now.Thank you so much for the umbrella.Not just that one but also Jake.He has been my
umbrella.And you gave him to me..."

End.