BEING THE BEST

Learn How To Replace Self-Destructive, Popular

Myths with Life-Changing, Practical Truths
DENIS WAITLEY

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 Being The Best - Page 1

MAIN IDEA
Success in life is not measured by what a person gets, but by what they continue to do with what they have.
The concept of success is very personal -- it means completely different things to different people. Therefore, happiness and fulfillment
are actually generated through the richness of the experience on the journey to success and not in the fleeting moment when someone
feels they have arrived. In the final analysis, success is not a destination at all -- it’s a way to travel.
Success must be built from the inside out if it is to be sustained over an extended period. It has nothing to do with comparisons to
other people, and everything to do with the exhilaration that comes with doing something that is extraordinary, excellent and heart
warming.
Being the best means doing your best, giving your best and achieving your best in everything you do day by day.

1. EXPOSING THE SUCCESS MYTHS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 2

Success: Is not something to be possessed; Is unrelated to what you own, purchase or produce; Has
nothing to do with how you compare with anyone else; Is completely outside the currently accepted
success myths which center on self-gratification.
Instead, success has everything to do with the process of becoming all you can be and should be.
2. HOW TO LIVE FROM THE INSIDE OUT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 2
We must learn to appreciate and believe in every individual’s freedom and limitless inner human worth.
3. CHARACTER CAN’T BE COUNTERFEITED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3
Integrity doesn’t mean one thing in one situation and another thing in another -- it is not situational at all.
Integrity -- the foundation of developing character -- is an absolute standard for those who really
understand what being the best means.
4. LIVING WITHOUT LIMITATIONS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 3
One success myth states that only the talented or the lucky can ever succeed. Another states that you
have to work within your limitations. In reality, everyone on the planet has vast, untapped potential to
achieve anything they want. The real truth is success can be achieved by those who work smarter or
harder -- and usually both -- at whatever they really enjoy doing and are good at.
5. WILL THE REAL ‘‘YOU’’ PLEASE STAND UP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 4
To become the best that you can be, discover what your natural gifts are. (Everyone has them, but not
everyone takes the time and effort to find out what their natural gifts are). Then develop those natural
gifts. They’re your key to fulfilling your personal potential for success.
6. THE ROAD BEST TRAVELED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5
Most people spend their entire lives doing what they think others want them to do instead of following
their dreams. Yet the road to real success -- the road less traveled -- is to follow your natural gifts and
have the courage to let whatever you love take you where you’d really like to go.
7. THE RATCHET EFFECT: TWO CLICKS FORWARD, ONE BACK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 5
The secret to living a happy, rewarding and productive life is to have clearly defined goals. Write them
down and focus on them several times each day, using words, pictures and especially emotions. Think
about them vividly -- as if they’ve already been achieved.
8. IF IT’S TO BE, IT’S UP TO ME! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 6
A good personal motto is: ‘‘Stop stewing and start doing’’. It’s impossible to be depressed and active at
the same time. Therefore, change the concept of motivation into motive-action -- take charge of today
and make today the best you possibly can.
9. PASSION, PRACTICE AND PERSEVERANCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 6
Never leave your future to chance, peer pressure or media hype. Instead, take charge and direct your
future by choice. Develop the self-discipline required to become the very best you can be.
10. TURNING FAILURE INTO FERTILIZER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 7
Never look back at a mistake. Instead, focus on what that mistake teaches you, and move on. In this way,
even the failures are actually helping you -- as long as you learn from them, adapt as necessary and
continue to move forward.
11. A FIVE STAR RATING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 8
Graciousness is the secret of becoming a five star person.
12. HOW DO YOU MEASURE SUCCESS? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Page 8
It’s not what you get or what you own that makes you a success -- it’s what you’re continuing to do with
whatever you have. In other words, true happiness is generated by the richness of the journey, not by
the reaching of any specific destination.

1.
EXPOSING THE SUCCESS MYTHS
Main Idea
Success:
Is not something to be possessed.
Is unrelated to what you own, purchase or produce.
Has nothing to do with how you compare with anyone else.
Is completely outside the currently accepted success myths
which center on self-gratification.
Instead, success has everything to do with the process of
becoming all you can be and should be.
Supporting Ideas
Many people labor under the mistaken belief there are only two
levels in life:
1. The best.
2. Inferior.
In reality, however, all that belief leads to is constant frustration,
as people try to claw their way to the top only to find there’s
nothing magical up there. In fact, when integrity, sensitivity and
camaraderie are replaced by a ‘‘go for the jugular’’ or ‘‘win at all
costs’’ mindset,
The modern success myths have moved completely away from
stressing character traits such as truth, morality and integrity,
and instead focus on a value system anchored solely in
self-gratification. They need to be replaced with truths. Some
examples:
Myth: You aren’t worth much unless you earn your value.
Truth: You are born with infinite value.
Myth: Go for the jugular -- winning is what counts
Truth: If you go for the jugular, you cut your own throat.
Myth: You can’t fight city hall -- you’re a victim of the system.
Truth: You have almost limitless potential.
Myth: Thank Goodness it’s Friday.
Truth: Thank Goodness it’s today.
Myth: Do it to others before they do it to you
Truth: Do it for others and they will come through for you.
Myth: Nice guys always finish last.
Truth: Nice guys usually finish best
Myth: Change is for the young, you’re too old.
Truth: You can replace bad habits with good ones.
Myth: Don’t stick your neck out -- be careful out there.
Truth: Failure is the fertilizer of success.
Myth: You’re stuck right where you are.
Truth: What you see is who you’ll be.
There is a way to master the skills, the attitudes and the mental
disciplines required to be the best you can be.
Key Thoughts
‘‘Happiness is the journey, not the destination.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘You always project on the outside how you feel on the inside.’’
-- Denis Waitley
Being The Best - Page 2
2.
HOW TO LIVE FROM THE INSIDE OUT
Main Idea
We must learn to appreciate and believe in every individual’s
freedom and limitless inner human worth.
Supporting Ideas
As a general rule, people with low self-esteem are ego driven
and live in a universe with themselves at the center. By contrast,
people with high self esteem are modest, feel good about
themselves and spend most of their time listening to others
rather than talking.
Success is fleeting and fickle. The trick is avoid being lulled into
a sense of permanence -- to think that success today will
guarantee success tomorrow. To counter that, you need to view
success as something that should be sparred with rather than
embraced. You need to remind yourself that you don’t need
gimmicks, and that the central challenge is to live up to the added
value that is already present and built in at the beginning of life.
Self esteem can be represented on a spectrum:
Abuser Braggart Achiever
Bully Clown Altruist
Cheat Materialist Internalist
Low Marginal High
Some practical ways to build self-esteem:
Make enthusiasm a daily habit. You’ll soon find out it’s highly
contagious.
Never let anyone else determine your self-worth -- especially
someone who’s negative.
Develop the habit of talking to yourself affirmatively.
Use a positive, affirmative vocabulary.
Think positive, uplifting and noble thoughts.
Don’t brag about what you’ve done.
Derive genuine satisfaction from doing good and helping
other people.
Find a positive support group to meet and associate with.
Have the objective of making each day and evening the best
it possibly can be.
Key Thoughts
‘‘The trouble with reading your own press clippings is that you
start to believe them and think that people are hanging on your
every word. The truth is most people want you to hang on their
every word. And there is no better way to let them know that you
are sincerely interested in them and that you care about them.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘It’s hard to expect an empty bag to stand up straight.’’
-- Winston Churchill

3.
CHARACTER CAN’T BE COUNTERFEITED
Main Idea
Integrity doesn’t mean one thing in one situation and another
thing in another -- it is not situational at all. Integrity -- the
foundation of developing character -- is an absolute standard for
those who really understand what being the best means.
Supporting Ideas
Integrity can be defined as a standard of personal moral behavior
and ethics that is not based on the expediency of the moment
and which does not change from situation to situation. Integrity
is the foundation of an inner value system, and the bedrock upon
which character is developed.
People with integrity are unconcerned about fame, about
outward appearances or other society imposed standards. They
realize that pandering to the external guarantees only that a
person will live a shallow life, and has nothing to do with the idea
of being the best.
In every arena of any consequence, the real bottom line isn’t
money -- it’s integrity. Expediency can only lead to fleeting
stardom but long-term defeat. Only integrity can deliver
long-term, sustained success.
Key Thoughts
‘‘in the end, we are all the sum total of our actions. Character
can’t be counterfeited, nor can it be put on and cast off as if it
were a garment to meet the whim of the moment. Like the
markings on wood which are ingrained in the very heart of the
tree, character requires time and nurturing for growth and
development. Thus also, day by day, we write our own destiny;
for inexorably, we become what we do.’’
-- Madame Chiang Kai-Shek
‘‘If success at any price is your goal, being the best is but a hollow
fantasy.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘ My Personal Code of Self-Respect
I am valuable because God created me with an inner value and
worth. I do not have to earn it.
I nurture self-respect as I understand and internalize my basic
inner value. The value is there. I don’t have to achieve it. I already
have it. My challenge is to nurture and protect it from getting
jaded or twisted by the values of a success-at-any-cost oriented
society.
If I can avoid the trap of trying to possess success or adorn
myself with success at the expense of others, I can easily live
with self-respect. It will be more important to me to do things to
protect my value -- the marvelous gift I’ve been given -- to other
people. That is the primary motivation for being the best I can
be.
My worth is my word. I make commitments, and I do what I say
I will do. This is more than just important to me -- it is crucial.
I say to others: "I am valuable, as you are valuable. We will make
a value exchange. I will offer you the best I have, and I will
assume you will give me your best in return."’’
-- Denis Waitley
Being The Best - Page 3
4.
LIVING WITHOUT LIMITATIONS
Main Idea
One success myth states that only the talented or the lucky can
ever succeed. Another states that you have to work within your
limitations. In reality, everyone on the planet has vast, untapped
potential to achieve anything they want. The real truth is success
can be achieved by those who work smarter or harder -- and
usually both -- at whatever they really enjoy doing and are good
at.
Supporting Ideas
The world is full of so-called common people who are very
uncommon in their pursuit of being the best in whatever field they
have chosen. That’s not really newsworthy though, so they don’t
receive much in the way of media attention. Instead, the media
tries to present stereotypes --buy this product or that if you want
to succeed.
Many people throughout history have graphically demonstrated
it’s possible to rise above what other people call limitations. The
trick lies in differentiating between limits and limitations. A limit
is something you are not physically or mentally equipped to do
-- a physical boundary. A limitation, on the other hand is a mental
or emotional boundary -- a pschycological boundary that is either
self-imposed or imposed by other people and accepted by you.
The greatest achievers in history beat the odds by overcoming
their limitations. Everyone has the potential to become much
more than they are at present. They just have to be prepared to
work at it, to persevere when they don’t get instant success and
to pay the price of greatness in whatever field takes their fancy.
Unfortunately, some people feel like they’re the victims of
circumstances beyond their own control -- that they’re unable to
achieve greatness because they weren’t born with the right stuff.
The good news is nobody can be forced to accept that. Every
person has the opportunity to be their own scriptwriter in their
own real-life drama.
Living life to the fullest means living life without limitations --
especially those imposed by other people. Countless people
have found they really can achieve anything they set their minds
and souls onto achieving. A human being can literally achieve
whatever he or she can visualize themselves achieving.
Key Thoughts
‘‘You are your own scriptwriter, and the play is never finished, no
matter what your age, position or place in life.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘You should let yourself arrive fully into life instead of just
hanging around the edges thinking you aren’t good enough to
compete in the big leagues. You should give yourself permission
to reach the highest levels you can conceive and attain.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘TV commercials are carefully designed and expensively
produced to help us "realize" we are far less than we should be.
It is high time to challenge the assumptions, precepts and value
systems of those who produce TV programming and other
media. Don’t just automatically swallow what they give you.’’
-- Denis Waitley

5.
WILL THE REAL ‘‘YOU’’ PLEASE STAND UP
Main Idea
To become the best that you can be, discover what your natural
gifts are. (Everyone has them, but not everyone takes the time
and effort to find out what their natural gifts are). Then develop
those natural gifts. They’re your key to fulfilling your personal
potential for success.
Supporting Ideas
Studies have shown that most people have between three and
five natural aptitudes, and that the combination of those
aptitudes identifies specific career areas they will be naturally
strong in. Very often, it’s somewhere within one of those areas
that natural gifts will come to the fore.
Those same studies have also shown there is a direct correlation
between vocabulary and career success. People need the ability
to communicate well, using an extensive vocabulary of words
suited to their profession, if they are to excel. Most highly
successful people have excellent vocabularies. Therefore, part
of being the best and exploiting your own natural abilities to the
fullest will be to develop your vocabulary and communication
skills.
To identify your natural aptitudes, work your way through this list:
1. Personality type
Do you prefer working alone (subjective) or in a group
(objective)?
2. Graphoria
Are you good at working with paperwork, and dealing with
figures and symbols?
3. Ideaphoria
Are you good at creative imagination and the expression of
ideas creatively?
(Sales, advertising, teaching, public relations, journalism)
4. Structural visualization
Can you visualize solids and think in three dimensions?
(Engineers, mechanics, architects)
5. Inductive reasoning
Can you readily form logical conclusions from an array of
disjointed facts and clues?
(Lawyers, researchers, diagnostic physicians, writers)
6. Analytical reasoning
Can you organize concepts and ideas into sequences and
classifications?
(Writers, editors, computer programmers)
7. Finger dexterity
Are you good at manual manipulation and eye-hand
coordination?
(Secretaries, manual work, mechanical work)
8. Tweezers dexterity
How well can you handle small tools with precision?
(Surgeons, watch makers)
9. Observation
Do you have the ability to take careful notice of things going
on around you?
(Research, artists, painters)
10. Design memory
How accurately can you recall a complex design?
(Architects, designers)
Being The Best - Page 4
11. Tonal memory
Can you remember sounds very accurately and do you have
an ear for music?
12. Pitch discrimination
Can you tell the difference between musical tones?
13. Rhythm memory
Can you maintain good rhythmic timing?
14. Timbre discrimination
Do you have the ability to differentiate between sounds of the
same pitch and volume?
15. Number memory
Can you store a number of things in your mind
simultaneously?
Attorneys, physicians, researchers)
16. Numerical reasoning
Are you able to pick out patterns or relationships between
sets of numbers?
(Bookkeeping, computer programming, actuarial work)
17. Silograms
Are you good at learning unfamiliar sounds and languages?
(Translators)
18. Foresight
Can you keep your mind on a distant goal?
(Analyst, sales forecasters, diplomats, politicians)
19. Color perception
Can you distinguish colors?
(Graphic artists, fashion design, painting, interior decorator,
advertising, etc.)
The greatest chance of success and excellence comes when a
person finds a career in an area in which they have the suitable
natural gifts and talents. However, these natural aptitudes just
suggest the place to start from, or the road to take. It’s still up to
each person to make the most of those skills and talents they
naturally possess.
Key Thoughts
‘‘It’s not what you are that holds you back. It’s what you think
you’re not.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘The aptitudes point which direction a person should go; the
vocabulary level predicts how far a person will go in his chosen
career.’’
-- Johnson O’Connor Research Foundation
‘‘Parents and significant others, such as coaches and teachers,
can encourage or squelch a child’s unique potential. Check what
you say and never say anything unless it can have a note of
encouragement and support. Introduce them to many
experiences that give them opportunities to develop their natural
gifts and abilities. Parents should try to give children broader
experiences that just might strike a deeper chord within. Spend
more money on experience and less on toys and other material
possessions that are supposed to enhance life or somehow
vicariously substitute for it.’’
-- Denis Waitley

6.
THE ROAD BEST TRAVELED
Main Idea
Most people spend their entire lives doing what they think others
want them to do instead of following their dreams. Yet the road
to real success -- the road less traveled -- is to follow your natural
gifts and have the courage to let whatever you love take you
where you’d really like to go.
Supporting Ideas
Are you the type of person who spends more time planning an
upcoming vacation than you ever do planning your career or your
life? Or are you the type of person who feels somewhere there’s
an undiscovered treasure, and that ‘‘Someday you’ll.....’’.Do you
look forward to the weekends so you can forget about doing
whatever to earn a living and instead spend some time doing
what you really enjoy?
A ‘‘Yes’’ answer to any of these questions is a warning signal that
you haven’t found a career that takes advantage of your natural
gifts and talents.
If that is the case, just getting through the work day will be the
goal, instead of trying to achieve as much as possible. That’s an
excellent way to become unhappy and unsuccessful, because
being the best will be an undiscovered treasure lying somewhere
or other.
If you spend more time thinking about what you’re going to do at
your lunch break than on your career and your life, take action
immediately. Find something you can be passionate about that
you can do to earn your living.
Key Thoughts
‘‘Ideas came to me as they do to all of us. The difference is I took
them seriously. I didn’t get discouraged that others didn’t see
what I saw. I had trust and confidence in my perceptions, rather
than listening to dogma and what other people thought. I didn’t
allow anyone to discourage me -- and everyone did. But life is
not a popularity contest.’’
-- Jonas Salk
‘‘If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘Most people spend their entire lives on a fantasy island called
"Someday I’ll".’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘I speak to thousands of people each year who are somewhere
on the corporate ladder, and I am constantly amazed at their lack
of specific goals. Managing by objectives has been around for
years. Numerous books, audio cassettes, videos and seminars
emphasize goal setting. But even with all this input, many people
still lack the specificity necessary to set suitable goals for
themselves and reach them. For countless unhappy,
unsuccessful people out there, getting through the day is a
primary ambition. they set no other daily goals. They float along
like driftwood in a slow-moving river. They take whatever job they
can find and exert the least amount of effort possible. They focus
on lunch breaks, coffee breaks, quitting time and pay day.’’
-- Denis Waitley
Being The Best - Page 5
7.
THE RATCHET EFFECT:
TWO CLICKS FORWARD, ONE BACK
Main Idea
The secret to living a happy, rewarding and productive life is to
have clearly defined goals. Write them down and focus on them
several times each day, using words, pictures and especially
emotions. Think about them vividly -- as if they’ve already been
achieved.
Supporting Ideas
Most people think of health, wealth and success as being goals.
In reality, however, they’re not goals -- they’re the by-products
of having a specific purpose in life and achieving that purpose.
Without a specific goal, all a person is engaging in is wishful
thinking. Specific goals should be personalized -- they should
reflect precisely what you want and not what others expect of
you. Follow this process to set your goals:
1. First, write down on a blank piece of paper every goal you’d
like to set.
2. Take another piece of paper. Think about the consequences
of each of your potential goals, and how much each of them
mean to you. Decide which goals are the most important, and
write down ten goals in priority order -- starting with the most
important and ending with the 10th most important goal.
3. Now, underline the top three prioritized goals on your list.
Rewrite those goals on a three-by-five card, or write them
into your planner (in pencil though, so you can change them
as required).
4. Carry those three primary goals with you wherever you go.
Whenever you have a few spare moments, review them and
visualize them being achieved. Whenever you’re faced with
a decision about how to spend your time, consider whether
your choice will move you towards or away from those goals.
Let them flavor everything you do.
Key Thoughts
‘‘Setting a goal starts with a dream, a desire for something you
really want. Planning is the road map that leads you to your
destination. Motivation is the fuel that takes you there. But first
you have to have a goal. If you don’t know where you’re going,
any road will take you there.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘If you don’t know where you’re going, it doesn’t matter if your
alarm doesn’t go off.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘The happiest people in the world are those who are doing
something they feel is worth their effort and who are working up
to their potential. Perhaps the most splendid achievement of all
is the continuing quest to surpass ourselves. Setting goals is only
part of that quest.’’
-- Denis Waitley

8.
IF IT’S TO BE, IT’S UP TO ME!
Main Idea
A good personal motto is: ‘‘Stop stewing and start doing’’. It’s
impossible to be depressed and active at the same time.
Therefore, change the concept of motivation into motive-action
-- take charge of today and make today the best you possibly
can.
Supporting Ideas
There are three personality types amongst non-achievers:
1. Victims - who are preoccupied with the past as well as with
things that cannot be controlled. They don’t act because
‘‘events beyond their control’’ make it impossible to achieve
their goals.
2. Sustainers -- who are too worried about the present to even
think about the future. They’re afraid to take new risks
because they don’t want to upset the status quo.
3. Dreamers -- who talk well but just somehow never seem to
really get into action. They have permanent potential but
never seem to get it all together.
Achievers, by contrast, live by the creed:
If it is to be, it’s up to me.
They write their own scripts, and act proactively with passion and
enthusiasm. They want to take risks, because they realize the
path to achievement runs right through that door, and that the
real risk in life lies in doing nothing and not in attempting
something that fails temporarily.
Sometimes, people procrastinate because they’re afraid of:
1. The unknown.
2. Seeming inferior to other people, and looking foolish.
3. The consequences of succeeding.
To overcome procrastination:
1. Set your alarm clock for half-an-hour earlier each day. Use
the extra time to think about the best way to act that day.
2. Memorize: Action TNT -- Action today, Not Tomorrow.
3. When talking with others, focus on solutions -- the next step
or what you’d like to see happen.
4. Finish your current most important project, no matter what it
takes. Start building a track record of success.
5. Never criticize. Find things to praise. Be constructive when
talking to other people.
6. Limit your television viewing to programs that will help you.
That will cut out the majority of TV shows.
7. Make a list of five jobs you’ve been putting off. Write a
completion date after each item. That will get you into action.
8. Seek out and talk to people that can act as successful role
models and mentors. learn from the success of others.
9. Get more information about whatever you want to achieve.
10. View problems that crop up as necessary and expected signs
of progress. Stay focused, stay positive.
Key Thought
‘‘The real risk in life is doing nothing.’’
-- Denis Waitley
Being The Best - Page 6
9.
PASSION, PRACTICE AND PERSEVERANCE
Main Idea
Never leave your future to chance, peer pressure or media hype.
Instead, take charge and direct your future by choice. Develop
the self-discipline required to become the very best you can be.
Supporting Ideas
The human brain has an in-built filtering mechanism called the
reticular activating system or RAS for short. It determines what
information is important, and what information can safely be
ignored. It can either be programmed to absorb positive
information or it will dwell on negative information predominantly.
Because the RAS is always active, always on the job, it enables
a person to break their old habits -- and the only way that can be
done in reality is by programming the RAS to replace the
information it previously admitted which reinforced the old habit
with a different set of information that will reinforce the new habit.
Forming a new habit takes two other essential elements:
1. Practice, more practice and still more practice, until the new
habit has been relentlessly but surely ingrained on the
sub-conscious.
2. Self-discipline. The desire to achieve something so strongly
that you’re willing to sacrifice other things that could just as
easily have taken your time and resources. This is the
foundation of superb levels of performance.
There are an awful lot of people who are talented but who never
manage to translate their raw talent into a performance that is
high quality and disciplined. Often, these people are under the
illusion they can deliver quality without paying the price of
disciplined practice.
Most high achievers exemplify their own personal enjoyment of
their work and a keen appreciation for excellence. Lying at the
heart of effective self-discipline is using time effectively. Some
ideas in this area:
1. Make use of a written self-development plan. Write down
which behavior patterns you want to change, update your
plan as frequently as needed and refer to your list often.
2. Begin each day with the attitude, ‘‘What can I accomplish
today that will be the best use of my time as I work towards
my goals?’’ Whenever you have a decision, use that question
as the criteria for deciding.
3. Learn from good role models. Seek out people who’ve gone
where you want to go, and find out how they did it. Take a
positive, proactive approach rather than a reactive approach.
4. Use the necessary but unpleasant tasks you have to do to
develop self-discipline. You may dislike doing them, but at
least they have some positive aspects.
Key Thoughts
‘‘The truth is, you don’t break a bad habit; you replace it with a
good one.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘It would take one hundred lifetimes to accomplish all you are
capable of achieving. If you had forever, you would not need to
set goals, plan carefully and chose directions.’’
-- Denis Waitley

10.
TURNING FAILURE INTO FERTILIZER
Main Idea
Never look back at a mistake. Instead, focus on what that
mistake teaches you, and move on. In this way, even the failures
are actually helping you -- as long as you learn from them, adapt
as necessary and continue to move forward.
Supporting Ideas
As mentioned previously, every person’s definition of success
differs from that of everyone else. We all, however, share a
common definition of failure and disappointment.
Failure and disappointment are as much a part of life as are
success and achievement. Yet most people never take the time
to analyze their failures, and therefore miss all the lessons they
could be gathering from those experiences.
The common myth is to avoid failure at all costs. The only
problem with that concept, however, is that everyone fails at
almost everything while they are learning how to do it properly.
Therefore, if avoiding failure was our main priority, we’d never
attempt anything new.
A smarter approach lies in approaching any new task with a
tolerance for failure if it occurs, along with a willingness to use
errors and mistakes as a learning process along the way to
ultimate success. Under this approach, whenever you fail, you
analyze the lessons and then move forward again. Failures thus
become valuable feedback that can fuel your ongoing forward
momentum.
The only potential danger that can arise from adversity comes
from the danger that you may ultimately end up identifying
yourself as a chronic habitual failure. Avoid that by keeping a
close watch on your attitude -- when things haven’t quite gone
as planned, tell yourself: ‘‘That’s not like me at all. Next time, I’ll
get it right, because I’m now better prepared and better
informed’’.
So what’s the smart approach to handling failure?
1. Whenever you have to handle the consequences of a
mistake, persevere. Use the Thomas Edison approach -- you
haven’t failed permanently, you’ve simply found one more
way that doesn’t work.
2. Realize the distinction between a lack of success and failure.
One is temporary, the other permanent.
3. Overcome failure by learning more and by getting back into
action. Stop mulling over the past and start doing something
positive in the present.
4. Put aside one day every couple of months to follow-through
on whatever you anticipate might go wrong. Work through all
the things that concern you, get into action on whatever you
can and then commit not to worry until your next designated
worry day in two months time.
5. Develop some adaptability. Count on change occurring in
every aspect of your personal and professional life. If you
have confidence in your own ability to roll with the figurative
punches, change won’t seem intimidating at all. In fact, it can
be quite invigorating, since it will give you the opportunity to
learn new skills and gain new experiences.
6. Seek every opportunity to get back into action as soon as
possible after any failure. This, more than any other single
factor, will help you put a temporary failure into proper
Being The Best - Page 7
perspective. When something has not gone as planned,
don’t just sit there mesmerized. Roar into action. Plan what
you should be doing next, and start executing your plans.
learn what you can, and then make a step forward, even if
it’s only a minute step nobody else will notice. At least you’re
starting to get some positive momentum going again.
7. Introduce some innovation. Try and find a new and improved
way -- perhaps combining something familiar with something
entirely new. Look for some new and improved ways to
achieve whatever it was you were attempting to achieve in
the first place.
8. Understand and accept the distinction between what can be
changed and what can’t.
Never let a temporary setback undermine your push for
excellence. Live with the failures, learn from them and then keep
on moving onwards and upwards.
Key Thoughts
‘‘To resolve disappointment:
1. Talk about the disappointment with someone intelligent and
caring: Someone you trust.
2. Write down your feelings. If you’re angry, let it spill out on
paper. Deal with how you really feel; don’t avoid it.
3. Talk with people who have also known disappointment. Find
out how they dealt with it, what they learned.
4. Read about the experiences of gifted leaders who have
suffered setbacks. How did they handle them? What universal
principles can you find to apply to your own situations?’’
-- Dr. Abraham Zaleznik
‘‘To build the habit of success, we better know how to handle
failure.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘I like the advice given by James Calano and Jeff Salzman. They
observe that people can take one of two approaches to trying to
be excellent professionals: practical perfectionism or neurotic
perfectionism. Neurotic perfectionists are never finished, their
work is never quite right, and they live with high anxiety and low
productivity. When they make a mistake, they are devastated.
Practical perfectionists are committed to excellence, giving
attention to details, and have systematic and disciplined work
habits. They recognize when their projects are finished. Perhaps
they could spend a little more time on something and make it a
bit better, but they realize that it’s good enough to achieve its
purpose. If they make a mistake, they handle it rather than let it
handle them. If you must be a perfectionist, be practical.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘To be the best you can be, never label lack of success as
failure.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘To handle failure, you need to know how to handle fear.’’
-- Denis Waitley

11.
A FIVE STAR RATING
Main Idea
Graciousness is the secret of becoming a five star person.
Supporting Ideas
Graciousness can be thought of as the personal attitudes and
convictions that always remind a person where they come from
and on whose shoulders they are standing to be where they are
at present.
It’s the good sense to acknowledge life is always a team effort,
and that we all ultimately owe whatever we achieve to the help
other people provide us with. In daily terms, being gracious
means being willing to help others achieve their goals, and
become their best.
Key Thoughts
‘‘The very best people in the world will never be known by very
many. They do not seek publicity nor waste their time with vanity.
Since they lead exemplary, healthy lives, they are rarely covered
by the media, who tend to focus mostly on the sensational, the
controversial and the bizarre. Once in a while they make history,
usually if they are in world leadership positions.’’
-- Lloyd Conant
‘‘I’ve often heard the two great tragedies of life are (1) never
having a great dream to strive for, and (2) never fully reaching
it. The greatest tragedy, however, is reaching what you think
you’ve been striving for only to find that doesn’t satisfy. Life isn’t
a race to finish first. The truth is life is a process to make last.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘If you don’t think it’s a good day, try missing one.’’
-- Zig Ziglar
‘‘The greatest risk in life is doing nothing.
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘It’s not all that difficult to become a five star person. Start with
your God-given inner value, that’s first. Add self-respect that
comes from absolute and uncompromising integrity. Add
purpose beyond yourself, next use discipline and complete with
the fifth star of graciousness, and you’ve got all five. Being the
best is no more, and no less, than doing the best, giving the best
and being your best in everything you do.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘With goals, knowledge, hard work, persistence and adaptability,
it’s possible to get what you want in life. The challenging part is
enjoying yourself once you have it. Executives with corner offices
overlooking a magnificent skyline may never take the time to look
out the window. They are caught up in real-life "Monopoly", trying
to figure out how much is enough. Successful business
executives own fabulous homes in the country or by the ocean,
but they only go to those homes to eat and sleep. The secret of
reaping the greatest benefits from hard work and purposeful
living is smelling the roses while you’re on the journey; don’t wait
until you reach the destination.’’
-- Denis Waitley
Being The Best - Page 8
12.
HOW DO YOU MEASURE SUCCESS?
Main Idea
It’s not what you get or what you own that makes you a success
-- it’s what you’re continuing to do with whatever you have. In
other words, true happiness is generated by the richness of the
journey, not by the reaching of any specific destination.
Supporting Ideas
Success can never be measured by comparing yourself to other
people. Instead of comparing, try to do something worthwhile,
because that’s where true success lies.
Anyone who does their best -- day in and day out -- is a success.
Key Thoughts
‘‘Success is not a destination: it’s a way to travel.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘Real success comes in small portions day by day. That’s why
it’s so futile to seek success in one magnificent package perched
"at the top". If there’s one thing I want my children to learn from
me, it is to take pleasure in life’s daily little treasures. It is the
most important thing I have discovered about measuring
success.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘All of my life, I have been fascinated by the mysterious
relationship between myth and truth. As children, we regularly
mix myths and truths. This is of no real concern unless we carry
forward and cling to the myths in the arena of real living. For
many of us, the myths slip in as facts, and before we know it, we
have been sold a bill of goods that leads us down a worthless,
frustrating, dead-end road.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘Success is the process of learning, sharing, growing.’’
-- Denis Waitley
‘‘Success is a very personal thing. It means something different
to each of us. To 95 percent of the families on the earth, success
is having some land to till, any job that pays and a way to earn
enough to provide nourishment for the children to grow in decent
health into adulthood. Success is America is usually associated
with material wealth, fame and social status. But I have been
trying to illustrate that it is not what you get that makes you
successful; it is what you are continuing to do with what you’ve
got. Happiness and fulfillment seem to be associated with the
richness of the experience in the journey, not in the fleeting
moment of recognition of having arrived. You can’t gain success
and then sit back and enjoy it like a giant lollipop that never melts
away. This is why the self-help myths leave us empty and hungry
for the truth. As one of my seminar graduates put it, "The road
to success is always under construction".’’
-- Denis Waitley
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