The documentary, “The Mask You Live In” (2015), directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom,

effectively highlights the unexamined implications of the language associated with maleness or
masculinity. The title takes its cue from a George Orwell quotation, “He wears a mask, and his
face grows to fit it.” It features discussions by social scientists, psychologists and educators
about how masculinity in American culture is defined by physical strength, sexual dominance,
and economic success. The film had its first screening in director Siebel Newsom’s hometown
San Francisco at Lucas film Theatre, home to “Star Wars” and “Indiana Jones,” arguably
examples of toxic masculinity.
The screen opens on an animated scene of a kid in a basement with his father looming
over him. A booming voice yells, “Be a man!” The animation then fades to real life and shows
NFL coach and former player, Joe Ehrmann, narrating the story of how his father taught him to
“be a man.” Like most boys who grew up in US in 1950’s, he was taught early no never to cry,
show emotion, or appear weak. This mentally unhealthy way of raising boys is the main topic of
The Mask You Live In.
Throughout the film, I have explored how our culture’s narrow definition of masculinity is
harming the mental health of our boys, from adult men to young boys, from parents to educators
at large by means of our society telling boys and men to behave in a toxic way. We see young
boys talk about having to hide their emotions, teenagers discussing pressure to appear
aggressive, and grown men recounting stories of constant bullying and suicidal thoughts.
The most powerful scene comes a little more than half way through the documentary,
when we see a teacher, Ashanti Branch, conduct an exercise with a few teenage boys in a
group. He gives each a paper mask and asked them to write on one side of the mask what
characteristics they show on the world and what they hide from the world on the other. Each
students exchanged masks with one another and revealed that almost all showed “outgoing”
“cool” and “funny” to the world while hiding “pain” and “anger”. As Ashanti discusses this, one
boy become distraught yet he was comforted by his friend. It is moving to see these boys be
open and move through some of their emotional issues as they realize they no longer have to
wear their masks in front of each other.
Being told “Be a man” is indeed one of the most destructive things that can be sad to a
young boy. There is this social construction of sexuality that tells boys that they must be tough
because “that’s just how men are.” It can be so detrimental to how a young boy views himself
and others, where they can’t even cry when they feel like crying, and always have to filter their
true feelings and emotions just so not to be continuously insulted as “gay”. Not only does this
destroy their confidence, but it skews the way they view women and homosexuals. The way
boys are brought up makes them hide all their natural, vulnerable, empathic feelings behind a
mask of masculinity. When they’re most in pain, they can’t reach out and ask for help because
they’re not allowed to. Masculinity is not organic but is a reactive. It’s not something that just
happens. It’s a rejection of everything that’s feminine.
Growing up is never easy. There are so many codes of cultural context to learn, societal
rulebooks to adhere to, and accepted norms to understand. Men go through a great deal of
mental strain. For them, being emotionless and expressionless equals masculinity and that can
be so detrimental to their mental health. And my stand to that is that men should be reminded
that there is nothing wrong with showing their true emotions and it is fine to be weak sometimes.
We all deserve the freedom to express our real feelings, emotions and expressions to the world.

“Behind every mask there is a face, and behind that a story.”