YOUTH AFLAME

TEMPLE OF GLORY ABUJA

SCHOOL OF WISDOM OUTLINE
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 5, 2021
TOPIC: WHAT ABOUT DATING?
“FIRST THINGS FIRST”

Bible Text: 1Corithians 14:20 RSV

Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; be babes in evil, but in thinking be mature.

INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the much anticipated month of September! We have looked forward to this Month
in which we promised to talk about the very important topic of dating, commonly known as
boy/girl relationship or having a boy/girl friend.

To properly discuss youths dating,we need to clarify the term dating or having a
boyfriend/girlfriend. These words have become synonymous with people sleeping together. If
this be the case, then no Christian youth or anyone else should have anything to do with it,
since under no condition is it right for unmarried persons to have sex with each other.

This week we will look at what is true dating? What is the purpose of dating? Must everyone
date? Who should date? What does moral and emotional maturity have to do with it?

What is dating?
Dating is meeting socially with someone of the opposite sex to spend time together and get to
know him or her. Dating can be casual or serious, it may lead to romance or result in people
going their separate ways. But the emotional fallout depends on the purity and sincerity of the
relationship.

What is the Purpose of dating?

The purpose of courtship was to determine whether a boy and a girl liked each other enough to
consider marriage. Courtship involved the whole family and always involved a chaperone. In a
day when marriage occurred earlier, often in the late teen years, courtship worked well as a
means of selecting a life partner.

In today’s culture, most teenagers are not mature enough to consider marriage. Secondary
education opportunities, financial limitations, and extended adolescence actually work against
the idea of early marriage; therefore, dating sets teenagers up for a tremendous amount of
emotional, physical, and psychological stress before they are old enough to handle it.

Should everyone date? (Romans 12:2 NLT, Matthew 6:33 NKJV)

Dating, especially during the teenage years, is thought to be an important way for young people
to build self-identity, develop social skills, learn about other people, and grow emotionally. If
marriage is not an option for many years, then why date? There is little possibility of a good
outcome. If the relationship goes south, teenagers must deal with broken hearts, rejection
issues, and distractions at a time when they need to be focused on their education and growing
up. If the romance is mutual, what are two teenagers to do? Two sixteen-year-olds “in love,” but
who can’t marry for several more years, are in danger of crossing sexual boundaries and
creating more heartaches and deeper problems.

Yet new research from the University of Georgia has found that not dating can be an equally
beneficial choice for teens. And in some ways, these teens fared even better.

The study, published online in The Journal of School Health, found that adolescents who were
not in romantic relationships during middle and high school had good social skills and low
depression, and fared better or equal to peers who dated.

When evaluating the wisdom of teenage dating, we should consider how many of society’s ills
have links to teen dating and sexual experimentation: abortion, single parenthood, STD’s,
suicide, AIDS, rape, and school drop-out rates. How many of those problems might be greatly
reduced if teenagers delayed romantic involvement until the right time?

Who should date? (Hebrew 5:14)

Only Christian youths who are grounded in moral values and see dating as a way to learn about
the opposite sex, should consider dating. When this is the case, the danger diminishes.
Through dating, you can discover characteristics in others that you like and dislike, gathering
information for the time when you will select a spouse.
This type of dating relationship is kept casual and involves friends and family in your times
together. You limit physical displays of affection and have clear boundaries on such activity. You
have an open, honest relationship with their parents, and your parents and your parents know
that you can be trusted. When all those factors are in place, Christian teens may be able to
navigate the dating years without collateral damage to their bodies and souls.

What does moral and emotional maturity have to do with it? (1 Cor. 9:27)
We live in a world in which what should be the private parts of people being in open and public
display in handheld devices. The culture in which we live has corrupted purity and every sense
of decency. Pornography exposure is at epidemic proportions, cultural boundaries are nearly
obsolete, and peer pressure and expectations pull teenagers away from biblical values.
Emotional matured people, grounded in sound, Biblical moral values can date. Anyone exposed
to pornography and peer pressure is emotionally immature and is a danger to anyone they may
try to date. These are the rapists etc, their minds are corrupt, they are not trying to socially
understand the opposite sex, but to prey on them. Some of them move around with condoms in
their wallet. And the ladies move around with the intention of seduction.

Until youths have internalized the lessons taught them both in Church and at home and are
making sound decisions on their own, they should be careful about dating.
Questions for Panelist to Consider
a) What is dating
b) What is the purpose of dating?
c) Should everyone date?
d) Who should date?
e) What does moral and emotional maturity have to do with it?

WORD WORX

1. Jesus is Lord of my life

2. My thoughts are anointed and pure
3. I let no one despise my youth
4. For I am the righteousness of God in Christ
5. The love of God is shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit, therefore, I love in truth
and purity.
6. The power of sin has been destroyed in my life, therefore it has no dominion over me.
7. I have power over crisis and dominion over circumstances.
8. I walk in the light of God’s word, and my path shines brighter and brighter. Amen.

NB: Panelists should do a good deal of research to give their points depth of wisdom.