There are some questions I still haven’t found the answers yet.

1. I’ve read lots of motivating stories from books but there are also some people
told me that life is not like a miracle story as mentioned in the books. They
assume that I should not raise hope for a better life just by things written in
the book. Be realistic and look around, this is real-life not a fairy tale with a
happy ending. Check all around you, Are there any miracles happened yet?
 So, you think I should believe the former or latter idea?
2. In my country, there is a concept like this: if children disobey their parents,
they are considered uneducated and amoral. Then whenever I did contradict
what my parents said, they told me that I'm amoral, so do my neighbours and
relatives. At first, I was so scared about that name tag but I think carefully,
why I can do what I really want? They have never asked me what I want, we
don’t have any mutual understanding, any arguing all will end up with tears or
violence. I'm stifling by the old traditional concepts of this rotten society.
People around me blame me for being too cruel to my parents when they must
be full of love to care about me like that. My parents said that I was too
selfish and I only lived for myself, I didn't know what gratitude was.
Between conscience and reason, which would you choose?
3. I have never been able to calm myself whenever I talk with my parents.
I have a strong emotional illness (A psychological disorder characterized by
irrational and uncontrollable fears, persistent anxiety, or extreme hostility). It
means when someone shouts at me or when I am extremely angry or dropped
in intensely unjust situations, I am speechless; I am speechless; tears come
along with trembling and convulsive symptoms. I think maybe this symptom
is caused by the fact that I have endured the indignation in my mind for
many years. Even though I have already learned to be self-control to adapt
 with my background, but sometimes when things beyond my endurance, I
seem like losing my mind, I just want to shriek out and fling everything.
I think somehow I was hereditary a part of this trait from my parents. Since
my behaviours are more and more tend to the same as them in the past
 That’s why I couldn't have a direct conversation with my parents or
struggling to escape from my parents' control; since they are always easily
losing their tempers and yell at me.
Am I becoming deeply hysteria?
 Another point is my mind is too weak to break this shackle. I'm too feeble
and too important to save myself.
What should I do to train myself to be stronger?
4. I feel like I'm easily influenced by emotions. Whenever I try to focus on
learning (prepare for the IELTS exam as my boss requires) but my mom starts
cursing or my dad smash thing again, I would easily get negative mood right
then. I try to learn to meditate (take a deep breath and let the mind empty) in a
few minutes but the more I try to escape that emotion the more I get a
headache.
What do you think I should do to prevent this symptom?
5. Do you believe in the law of attraction?
The law revealed that: the more you desire something the more you are
supported by a superpower from universe.
In other words, if you really want something, you will naturally get
favourable help. But in reality, the more I try to manage my life, the more
difficulties slap my face.
Till the end of the road, would the light will flare up?

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