WHO AM I?

By Joshua C. Lozada

Who am I? As for my name, I am Joshua Lozada. The name “Joshua” comes

from the Hebrew word “Yehoshua,” meaning “God is deliverance.” I am glad to know
the meaning of my name but as for the inspiration of my name, it just popped out of
my mother’s head and then, viola, I am now called Joshua.

Who am I? I am the second eldest son of the family. The responsibility of my

parents ever since they separated was passed down on me. I was mad at my parents
for leaving me and my siblings all on our own but I never thought of rebelling and
wasting my life. I am where I am now because of the help of my relatives. I am taking
up my college degree because of the help of other people, not because my parents
helped. I’ve worked myself up to where I am now because I believe that I can and that
I will. I want to finish my college degree because I want to thank all of the people that
helped me come this far and I will be forever grateful to all of them.

Who am I? I am a competitive student. I crave for attention, recognition, and

appreciation which I never got from my family. That’s why I am always joining
different kinds of contests and organizations, not for the reason of I am that good, but
because I want to be recognized. I am always active in some class recitations since I
know the lessons or I am familiar with it. Some people calls me “pabida” (a show-
off), which is hurtful and it also lowers my confidence.

Who am I? I am a dreamer. I want to become someone who is of some help to

everyone. I want to become a Nurse because I can help everyone. I also want to help
my family that’s why I want my dreams to be fulfilled.

Who am I? In reality, I don’t know. It’s really hard to know thy ownself. I am still
knowing myself. I am still learning the things that I like and do. I don’t even know my
purpose, all I know is that I am living and will make a living in order for me to save
my family especially my siblings from poverty. I don’t know myself. I am still a
missing ship travelling on a vast open sea, no captain, no shipwright, no navigator, but
is always wandering, not knowing the path that I am going.
I am not happy or sad about my life, neither I am contented. I believe that we
humans won’t feel contentment about all the things that we have in our lives, no one
is contented about their own lives. We seek for something that we don’t have and will
never have.
I am just happy to be alive and I am happy that I am living.
I know that I will still ask myself.
Who am I?