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 A cupof tea a da~
LONDON- Youcan cut the risk of a deadly heart at-
tack by an astonishing 44 percent by drinking at least one
cup of tea a day, say
cutstheriskof a
medical researchers. ByJACKALEXANDER
The beneficial results are
probably due to the powerful
m_eekl_y_m_or_ld_N_ew_s
________ _
Earlier studies have suggested that tea
deadlyheartaHat"
by 44percent!
amounts of natural sub- could be good for the heart, but the latest
stances in tea known as findings are the most dramatic and compre-
flavonoids-vitamin-like nu- hensive.
trients that make blood cells A study examined 340 men and women
less prone to clotting. who had suffered heart attacks .-----
Flavonoids are one of the and matched them by age., sex tea from black tea leaves as op- or cold, or with loose tea leaves, smoking, exercise, alcohol in•
most powerful antioxidents, and neighborhood with people posed to green or herbal teas. tea bags or granulated crystals. take and family history of heart
or substances that offset the who had never had heart at• Scientists say black tea contains Adding milk, sugar or lemon trouble in arriving at the results.
damaging effects of oxygen tacks. It then investigated their more powerful flavonoids than to the tea does not diminish the Conductingthe study was Dr.
in the body. Ftavonoids also coffee- and tea-drinking habits green tea, while herbal teas are effect of flavonoids. Michael Gaziano, a heart spe-
are found in fruits, vegeta- over the course of a year. not knownto contain flavonoids. Researchers also made ad- cialist at the Harvard Medical
bles and red wine. The study involved regular The tea can be prepared hot justments for such factors as School-affiliated Brigham and

THE
PLACEBO
EFFEa
Healing isallinyour
~~:,Ai!.head,
saydocs
In an el..iraordinary study that suggests healing
may really be all in your head, 10 arthritis patients
said they felt better six months after a pain•relieving
operation - even though only five of them actually
had the surgery. ence" to support it. yet they also got better.
People's expectations thatthey Dr. Moerman cites blushing Other examples of the placebo ef•
will improve, cultural beliefs and as a nonmedical event that trig• feet:
the enthusiasm of the treating gers a biological response. An • A saline injection was enough
doctor all may be at work in the embarrassing remark brings to kill the pain in 30 to 40 percent of
placebo effect, the amazing study blood to the cheeks. A red face is people who had their wisdom teeth
reveals. biological response to some- pulled.
The placebo effect is the non• thing - visual or verbal - out• • Patients who were taken off
specific reason people respond to side the body. blood-pressure medicine for three
treatments that are not medically The mechanism that sets off weeks so they could try a new drug
proven to work on their ailment- this response is what Dr. saw their blood pressure drop to
M treatments as simple as talking to Moerman and other researchers normal in the period they were ta.k·
a doctor or taking a sugar pill. are trying to discover. How can a ing no drug at all
In the placebo experiment at a placebo and morphine both trig• • Patients underwent make•be·
veterans hospital in Houston, four gerbrainreactions that ease pain? lieve su11.·geryfor angina. They were
of the five arthritis patients who Another recent study appears given a local anesthesia and cut
did not have surgery said they to show that the change in brain slightly. but they did bett.er than pa•
would recommend it to a friend. activity that accounted for im• tients who actually bad the surgery.
Even though the medjcal world provement in patients on Prozac Some e:>.."J)ertssay the placebo ef.
disagrees with the placebo effect, ispreciselyopposUetothechange feet explains a good outcome 30 per•
medical anthropologist Daniel in brain activity experienced by centoftlhe time. Dr. Moerman says it
Moerman says there is "good sci• patientsw-botookaplacebo-and could be as high as 50 percent.
 SMILE
FOR THE
CAMERA,
YOU
ASS!

Women'sHospitalin Bostonand was reported

at the Royal Societyor Medicine conference
in London.

WOMAN! Don't make asses of yourselves, boys! These

eager-to-please burros actually seem to be •~,;<-'""""'"'
smiling at customers during a donkey fair in
Indio, where more than 50,000 beasts of bur-
den ore bought and sold in a single weekend.
What the jackasses don't reoJizeis that no mat-
ter who buys them, they'll soon be toting some
overweight lndion and all his gear through the
Thar Desert or up and down some treacherous
Himalayan mountain trail. Good luck, fellows.

NEW
Meetman's bestfriend!
Dogs may not be man's best friend any more, says
amazing new research. Lizards are ready to take that honor.
Tbe wily reptilescan recognize.-----------
people and fonn unique relation- who bad cared for him four years
shipswitb them,but it maynotnec- earlier.
essarilybe the kind of lovingrela- McRobert believeslizards pick
tionshipyou might havewith your out individualsby sightandlisten to
pet dog or cat, says researcher voicesto "fine-tune"theirresponse.
Scott McRobert. "This is the first time human
Scientists in Philadelphiadis- recognitionby a lizard has been 1.-~c-l
coverediguanas!mowtheir human demonstratedin a scientificway,"
handlers andgreet them differently he said.
than strangerswhen a laboratory Iguanas and other lizardsnor-
lizardnamedFidobobbedhis head mally see people as a threat, so
at McRobert, his handlei; but ig- This One
when Fido recognizedMcRobertit
noredeveryoneelsein theroom. meanthewasn'tafraidof him.
The researchteam also found "It's not that he loves me,"
that Fido remembereda student McRobertsaid.
IIIIIIIllIIIJI
IIIJIIII
IIllIIIIII
IlllJII1111111
~I
06FW-9CA-ONE2
 Sensational
findintheHollLand!
August 31, 1999
EDITOR
Eddie Clontz
MANAGING EDITOR
Vol. 20 No. 49

SCIENTISTS
DISCO
UFO
BURIED
INDESE
Susan Jimison
ARTDIRECTOR
Dick Kulpa
PHOTO EDITOR
Susan Chappell
SENIOREDITORS: Joe Berger, Donnie Brown, Fronk Di Pietro,
Israeli scientists using so-
Michael Forsyth, Fronk lo Senno, R. Neale Lind, Cindy O'Neil, phisticated sonar equipment
Leskie Pinson, nm Skelly have reportedly discovered DIAGRAM shows
OFFICIMANAGER/EXEC. SECRETARY: Marcello Rotenberger a giant disc-shaped object flyingsaucer
wreckage burled
EDITORIAL
INTERNS:Sarah Gist; Jussoro Silva
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR:Christie Carlson buried 600 feet beneath the in desert.
STAFFASTROLOGER & PSYCHIC: Sereno Sobok desert!
COLUMNISTS:Ed Anger, Dotti Primrose "Based on geological formations
FREElANCEPHOTOGRAPHERS: Ron Alexander, McKenzie located on the surface above the ob-
Betsch, Christine Phelan, Judy Sorensky, Edie Szymanski ject we have calculated that it dates
CEO & PUBLISHER: DAVID PECKER
CHAIRMAN, PR.ESIDEMT,
back at least 30,000 years," Dr.
Moshe Abramson, a scientist in-
U.S. BUREAUCHIEFS: volved in the project, said in an
WASHINGTON
BOSTON NEW
YOIIC AnANTA interview. "That means it has
been there since before the
~
NI CNick
Monn ~Creed
Kevin Q.Mike
• Fo!S)ih
dawn of human history."
Cautious about leaping t,o conclusions,
scientists have avoidedusing the term "flying
IOSWEU,N.M. saucer" to describe the object. But they have
LOSANGEW CHICAGO confirmedthat it is perfectlycircularin con-

laurel
Bowie 1~
FOREIGNBURIAU CHIIFS: l!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~
figuration- strongly suggesting that it is not
a natural formation and instead was made by
intelligent beings.
What's more, density readings indicate the
object - which is about 850 feet in diameter
-is metal.
LONDON PARIS NEWDElHI NAIROBI "Every indication is that it is a vehicle of
some type," Dr. Abramson confirmed. "We
Q theorize that it may have been ----
designed to dig down into the The religious implications of is fullyaware of the significance
YMOSCOW
R
Toddy ~LiO
Gerold
TOKYO
Schvandt
SYDNEY ROME
George
Sanford sand and bury
remain hidden."
itself as a way to the July 26 find- in the heart of of the discovery- as well as the
the Holy Land and near a city possible military importance of
University experts first be- considered sacred by Jews, an intact UFO being successful-
gan to suspect there might be Christians and Moslems alike ly recovered Last week officials

it~.:•= something odd underground in - are not being overlooked. issued a total news blackout on
~Vi~ the area, about 30 miles outside Israeli newspapers have al- the matter and forbade scien-
~Saidi Jerusalem, back in January ready dubbed the mysterious tists from granting further in-
1996, when they picked up un- object "The Holy Land Saucer," terviews.
TEUPHOHE: (561) 540-1001, Ext. 2402 II FAX: (561) 540-1084 usual levels of elec- some suggesting it r;;:::::;::::;::::;::::;::::;::::;::::;::::;::::;;;
A.dffrtising Dept.: Ext. 2316
~II oddress:
l!.etters@weeldyworld,_.,,com
http:/,'www.weeklyworldnews.com tromagnetic energy
- and determined
may have been
used by angels in
PO, a, l'N'J IIIA
\ill I D 1111
the source was far the time of Adam
WeelclyWwld H_. is a journol of informotiott and opinion publisMd
eoch Tllfldoy by Weekly Worid M-.s, Inc., 600 East Coast Aft.,
Lontona, FL 33464-0002. Anides ant drownfrom dlff.rent sources, in-
below.
Last year, the
and Eve.
The Vaticanhas
DEADAFTER
ALL
cluding the -,td press and our forei9n conespondeftts. WeeklyWorld researchers deter- dis....,•,..,edits own a._, LLAHEW,
& Hews does not solic:itor oc:ceptNctder c:ontributiotts.Unsolicited ideos ~ Peter umo:,_'#ales -L • ...!-..1
Sc:hool-
his
~ Of' -.c:ripts become the propeny of WNldy World News and will
mined there was a investigative team .,.,., ...,_ --
not be returned nor c:ompensated. MAILSUBSCRJPTIONS to w..ldy dense, massive ob- iill.. to lookinto the case. deod cot In the badt)wd - but
M WoridHews, P.O.Box 37069, Boone, Iowa 50037-0069 ($34.94 a year ject buried deep in The Reverend the liittycame bodeto lifejust In
!
~
ln U.S., $54.94 a ,.ar outside the U.S.). Periadlcals postage paid ot
Loke Worth, Flo., and ot odditlonol moilint offic:.s in the USA.
the Earth.. • WHITEmoss ot lower Donald MacArthur, time for dhNr!
This summer, sci• right of sonar screen is a Scottish minister Peter, 14, thought he saw
CanadianGST RegistrationHo. 133912394 R.T.~. Audit Bu,-u entists began taking that of a UFO. who was visiting Amber killed by a car and
of Orculotlon. Copyright @ 1999 Weekly World N-s, Inc. readings of the object, trying to Jerusalem when the news buriedthe cot in the backyard

=
{
z determine its size and shape. broke, remarked, ''Who knows of his home. When the kitty
0...,
"When the sonar readings how much of what is in the Bible showed up for dinner two
"" World
WEEKLY WORLD NEWS (ISSN 0199·SH..\'.> Publish•d ,2 times a year by Weekly
showed what looked like a - the mysterious comings and hours later, the teen thought
i SUBSCRIPTIONS $34.94 a year in U.S .. S54.94 a yenr outside lh~ U.S. Per,odicals tremendous round platter, I al· goings
:,lews, Inc .. 600 East Coasl AHoue. L11otana, FL 3H6~·0-00Z. MAIL
:=..,
..
~ postage paid al Lake Worth, FL, and at additional maihnl( offices in the USA.
~

1M POSTI\IASTER: Send address change,; 10 WEEKLY WORLD NEWS. P.O. Box 37059,
w
most had a heart attack right strange
of powerfulsuper-beings, he
sightings and sounds -
se;::: he had

3 Boone, Iowa 50037-0069. For subscr,plioo address changes and 1oqume, write Weekly then and there," Di: Abramson is related to this craft?" buried the neighbor's look-
World News. P.O. Bo• 37069, Boone. Iowa 50037-0069. PRINTED IN U.S.A. told a reporter. The Israeli government, too, _ali_ic._cot_br __ mi_stoke
__ •___ ..
4
 Treasure getbizarre
hunters shock
intheNorth
Atlanti
liu sc

,
eBroy brothers' occou
hantom submariner Fr
ext to his sunken vess

ByJOE BERGER/ WeeklyWorldNews

men disappearedwhile on a rou-
LONDON - Unsuspecting treas- I
tine training missionwest of the damned ghost - our father's
ure hunt.ers Hal and Dennis DeBray Outer HebridesIslands. .--- --. ghost," said devastated
Three days later, Dennis.
got the shock of their lives when they when the Manem;er ''All six of us saw the
dived into the icy wate1-sof the North failed to show up for a same thing, and the
Atlantic and came face-to-face with scheduledsurface ren- poor guy was pleading
dezvous,a search was with us for somekind of
the morose ghost of their late father launchedand the strick- help.
Frank - who died in those seas as a en sub was located - "He needed us and
young sailor back in 1959! but all the men aboard we didn't know how to
The dumbfounded DeBray brothers spot- her were dead. give him what he need-
"Our father's body ed. We failed him, but
ted the sad-eyed apparition lurking near the DEBRAY BROTHERS hold images of was recovered and DEAD Dad we·re going back out
hulk of the sunken submarine HMS Maneuver 1 their father Frank DeBroy. Hol hos o buried - but obviously, Frank DeBray. there to try again, you
which carried their doomed dad and 75 other sketch of him os o ghost. Dennis holds a his spirit never left the spot can count on that. Youjust don't
luckless crewmen to a watery grave more than photo taken when he was alive. where he and his buddiesdied," turn your back on your dadin his
40years ago. said still-trembling Dennis,42. time of need- evenif he's been
8: "We werejust kids, barelyout accident.We thought we were a could do to help him, but when 'Tm sure our meeting him deadfor40years."
~- of diapers,when we lost our fa- good hundred nautical miles we got within a few feet of him, like that was for a reason- but r.===========:;
;:; ther, but we've seen hundreds from the spot where the he just disappearedinto thin air.
! and hundredsof pictures of him Maneuver went down, when "Denny and I both have damnedif I know."
doc
what that reason is, I'll be World'soldest was 1201
J. - and there's no doubt in our suddenlythere was the sub and thoughtaboutDad somuch over The DeBray brothers, their Doctors are notorious for
~ mind that that was our dad down there wasDad lookingso forlorn, the years and to see him like uncle and three other men were being bad patients, but Dr.
~ there," said flabbergasted Hal, with his hands outstretchedlike that, looking so miserable,really searching for the rotting, treas- James Muatt of Longholm,
0 43. "Our uncle, Dad's brother, he was pleadingwith us to help tore us up inside." ure-laden relic of a Russian Scotland, hod the best health
~ was diving with us, and he's as him somehow. The hair-raising tale of horror freighter that sank 63years ago ha:bits of ony physlda:n who
~ sure it wasour father as we are. "I don't know if he knew who and heartbreakon the high seas when the eerie apparition ap- ever lived - and it paid off big
?;; "Andthe amazingthing is, we we were or not. Really, we were began April 15, 1959, when the pearedfrom out of nowhere. time. Dr. Muatt worked os o
~ wererrt down there looking for so shockedwe didn't know what sleek A~lass submarine carry- ''This wasn'tsomekind of hal- surgeon until his death at oge
3: Dad or his submarine. The to think. Weswam toward him to ing ill-fated Frank DeBray and lucination or some figment of 120 in 1776 - after practicing
6 whole encounter was purely by see if there was anytrung we 75 other officers and enlisted our imagination, this was a for a:n astoni.shing 95 yeors!
r-------------------------------------------------------------,

e
~
1
TheFranklin Minl PleasemailbySeptember 30,1999.
FranklinCenter, PA19091-0001
Pleaseaccept myorderforTheAmencan BaldEaaie Pocket watch
I needSENDNOMONEY NOW.I will be billedin 2 equal
monthlyinstallmentsof S34.50-each,wrththefirst payment duewhenmy
watchis readyto besent
• Plvsmystatesalest.axandaone-rime
charg,of S395 for shitJplfl(J
Ind handling

SIGNATURE
_____ ..,,.._.,cc...,.,.,,==,.,.::,••::,..,::-:11et=To""'..:cr="=,-c,:------

MRIMRSIMl~------..,,,u,a=-=-=CUl"""""=·-------
AOORESS----------------~A?T #__
CITY
_____________________ _
STA.._________________ ZIP____ _

TELEPHONE#(
__ __, __________ -==~=
2217$-82-001

THE FRAl~I l\IlNT

 saystopexpert
BROOKLYN,N.Y.- If you're a hopeless
"shop-aholic" you may be getting more than ~
great bargains on those spending sprees -
~
you may be getting a more youthful appear- weekly
4
,r
....... "

ance and a longer life! world

----"'r'
•;
That's right, experts say they now have con- '--N_ew_s
___ ---=~!!!=;a.....J
I
~ -:
crete proof that frequent shopping keeps you young. youthfulness than the women
In an independent research project by sociologist who limited their sprees and
Dr. Rex Metzler, 260 ,--------- ------ purchases," says Dr.
women were tested over a men who averaged 17 Metzler. ; \ :ct.,,.
two-year period hours of shopping or "For reasons we
He instructed them to more a weekand sp~nt don't completelyunder-
over $200 per shopping stand, the sheer pleas-
keep a careful record of trip were slimmel'. ure of making personal I--
how often ~ey shopped, stronger and more ro~ purchases does some- ~-::::----==-i::..:;H._:z
how long their sprees last- bust than the women thing very positivefot·a
ed, what they bought and who spent fewer hours woman's system.
how much money they shopping and bought "It gives women, at
spent. less merchandise. ..._ least temporarily, im·
The test subjectswere giv- "The frequent shop- • 1111111 munity from the effects
en a rigorous physical exami• pers showed fewer Dr. RexMetzler of aging,"
nation both before and after wrinkles, higher ener- A similar experi- _
keeping their charts. I
gy levels,brighter, more vibrant ment w-as done in Stockholm,
Tbe startling result: Wo- skin tones and better all-round Sweden, back in 1987by psy-
I.!:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ chologist
;:. Wilk who and author
obtained Dr. Sven
similar re-
sults.
JOURNALIST
mCUTEDFOR But Dr. Metzler's is the
first American study of the

KNOCKING
OUT youthful effects of shopping.
Other findings of both sur-
veys showed:
SADDAM
HUSSEIN • Womenwho purchased
clothing fared slightly better

INABOXING
MATCH!
BAGHDAD - When an Iraqi
than women who bought kit-
chen items and household
wares.
• You're better off taking
newspaper columnist hinted lots of short trips than you
that Iraqi strongman Saddam are taking two or three long
Hussein wasn't manly, the dicta- SaddamHussein ones.
tor challenged him to a boxing challenged a journalist For instance, if you spend
match - and the slightly built ofterthe newsman 21 hours a week shopping,it's
journalist knocked out beefy saidthat the dictator best to take seven three-hour
Saddam after just three.---- wos "unmonty." trips, not three seven-hour
rounds! ever - angry Saddamhad him trips.
Newspaperman Mustapha arrested and shot the next day. • The frequent shoppers their age, they also had more raising funds for a study of
El-Bakir didn't have much according to a report 011 Iran- - particularly in Dr. Wiik's self-esteem. men between the ages of 21
study - not only slayed Neither study involved men. and 50 lo see whal effects
time to savor his victory, how- ian radio.
younger than other women But Dr. Metzler is currently shoppinghas on them.

DAD
SAVES
BABY
FROM
(RADDLE-ROBBING
SNAKE! i
11
 world's most infamous creature - Bot Boy.

MACON,Ga. - Just one week

after Weekly WorldNews' dra-
matic update on the half-
bat, half-hwnan known as
Bat Boy, the controver-
sial creature has been
captured and is now ri
being held at a secret
government medical I
lab!
Acting on a tip, govern-
ment agents apprehended
Bat Boy just days ago in an
area west of here near Lake
Tobesotkee.
The word comes from an anony-
mous source in federal law enforce-
menl
Reactionsto the capture are widely di•
verse, ranging from elation and relief to r
:I
outrage and pity. While many feel the
strange child is aggressive and danger-
ous, others feel that it is the United
States Governmentwho has been the ag-
gressor and that Bat Boy should be given
his freedom.
Controversy bas sur- Since then, although there ent during the capture. "Several all this attention and he doesn't
rounded the tiny bat-like have been countless sightings agents were wounded. Finally deserve a life in which he'll be
creature since 1992 wben he and rumors, Bat Boy has re- he was subdued using tranquil- probed and examinedin bizarre
was discoveredin a caveand mained on the loose. izer darts.'' medical experiments!'
taken to a secret location Just last week,WeeklyWorld
where he was studied - and News ran a retrospective, re-
some say abused - by gov- minding readers that he is still
Although some are relieved,
not everyoneis pleasedthat the r----------------
Acting on Dr. Retlin's heart-
felt plea, Weekly WorldNews is
child is back in custody.
ernment researchers. on the loose. In that story, the "There's not one case on asking readers who want to see
Since then the big-eared NEWS recounted Bat Boy's his- record of Bat Boy attacking a Bat Boy go free to write in and I
creature, whose sense of tory. Experts described the human unprovoked," said biolo- tell us so.
hearing and strength are creature as "quick, powerful gist Dr. Andrew Retlin, a leading We will forward your letters to the federal au-
said to be superhuman, has and as vicious as a lion in the authority on the bat child. "And thorities.
escaped and been recap- wild." "I know it can make a differ- Address letters to:
scientists who have interacted FREEBAT BOY
tured several times. The last The story prompted calls to with him say he's intelligent, ence," said the source who c/o Weekly World News
time he made news was in the FBI, CIA and other federal sensitive and even gentle by na- brought us the capture story. 600 East Coast Ave.
1997 when the 2-foot-tall agencies - one tip resulted in ture. He jusl doesn't do well in "Believe me, t_hegovernment Lontono Fl. 33464-0002 (.,;

freak of nature escapedonce Bat Boy's capture. captivity. As long as he's free responds to the will of the people. ----' ----
more from a federal lab, this "He didn't surrender easily,'· and unmolested,he's no danger If enough of your readers write in, Bat .Boy will be re-
one in Wheeling,W.Va. said the source who was pres- to anyone. He never asked for leased.

II
~----------------
 DOGFIGHT between the
Red Boron ond O flying
saucer occurred in 1917.
The UFO crashed in 0
boll of flame.

BONN, Germany - The flamboy-

ant fighter pilot known as the Red
Baron not only shot down 80 enemy
planes for the Germans during
World War 1 - be also was the first
human in history to gun down an
alien spaceship!
That's the fascinating claim of for-
mer German Air Force ace Peter
Waitzrik. who says he watched in
astonishment as the deadeye fighter
pilot shot a UFO with undulating
orange lights out of the sky over Bel-
gium in 1917. .
Then, Waitzrik says, be stared m
disbelief as two bruised and battered
occupanls of the downed craft
climbed from their spaceship and
scampered off into the woods - ap-
parently never to be seen again.
'"The Baron and I gave a full report on the inci-
dent back at headquarters and they told us not to
ever mention it again," the feisty, 105-year-oldre-
tired airline pilot recently told a reporter.
"And except for my wife and grandkids, I never
told a soul. Bul it's been over 80 years, so what
difference could it possibly make now?"
The aging Waitzrik said he and Baron Manfred
von Richtofen - the renowned Red Baron -
were flying an early morning mission over west-
ern Belgium in the spring of 1917 when the UFO
suddenly appeared in a clear, blue sky directly
ahead of their Fokker triplanes.
·'We were terrified because we'd never seen
anything like it before," recalled the easygoing =--1.., ..... -
great-great-greatfather of five. "The U.~. had FAMED RED BARON Manfred
just entered lhe war, so we assumed 1t was von Richtofen is circled in the
something they'd senl up. cockpit of his plane in this WWI
"The Baron immediately opened £ire and
rhoto. Fellow ace Peter Woitxrik
the thing went down like a rock, shearing off rs shown in circle, right.
tree limbs as it crashed in the woods. Then
the two little baldheaded guys climbed out
and ran away.''
Waitzrik said he assumed the glittering sil-
ver spaceship was some sort of enemy inven- Manshoots
Siamese
tion until the flying saucer scare that began
in the late 1940s convinced him that his bud- twinbrother inhead
SAO PAULO, Brazil _
dy had shot down a UFO.
"The thing was maybe 40 meters (136 feet) Hotheaded Marco de Solisa,
in diameter and looked just like those sau• 24, got so mad at his Sia-
cer-shaped spaceships that everybody's been mese twin brother Roberto
seeing for the last 50 years," the awed old- ·that he shot him in the head
ster said. - killing them both!
"So there's no doubt in my mind now that A medical examiner said
that was no U.S. reconnaissance plane the t~e twins were joined at the
Baron shot down, that was some kind of side and shared portions of
spacecraft from another planet - and ~ose littl~
guys who ran off into the woods weren t Ameri- SQUEEZING
rno
TOOTHPASTE TURIN, ltoly - Hotheaded the same circulatory system
hubby Franco Malgieri 42 WO$ - so when Roberto died
cans, they were space aliens of some kind.
"You know, sometimes I wonder what ever be- rn frtTHE
TOP
COSTS chorge_d wi_thmu~der ofte,' he ;tran• :\1arco died, too. "Marco wa~
HIJ . . gled hrs wrfe An,to - becouse she al~vays a little impulsive,"
came of those guys, anyway:' ffjFEHER
11rr1 rns,sted on squeezing the toothposte from said the twin's distraught
rs, the top of the tube. mother Marta.
 '
•'
~

't
~

''
''
;'
I
I

''I
f
''
'
I

ED SAYS planes
used to be a high-
class way to travel
- but now the
stewardesses ore
ugly and the pas-
sengers stink!

My old beer drinking buddy Dudley Van

--..-. Housen and I are madder than the Wright
.... Rtl brothers with a busted propeller at how dir-
~PII ty and low-class flying on a commercial air-
.... plane has become in the last few years.
We just flew from Florida to New York and we
..... had to use every barf bag in sight - and it wasn't the
air turbulence that made us throw up, either.
It was the fat, filthy old bag lady wedged into the seat
next to us that made us sicker~---------
... ~• than a dog. to travel with. cock1>it- even if they could wad- dog-faced stewardess for two
The woman smelled like the But those days are gone forev- die through the door. hours when I have my plug-ugly
inside of a dumpster in the alley er. my friend. A financial report Sure, you don't have to pay daughter-in-law Candy to look at 1111111111
behind a cheap seafood restau- just released by one major air chubby stews as much, but give every day of the week?
rant, for crying out loud. carrier notes that the airline us a break. But the last straw came when
She couldn't afford to buy a spent more money on upholstery When they're so broad across a long-haired hippie sitting one
bar of soap, but she sure as hell cleaner than it did on jet fuel, for the beam tbey have to squeeze row up from us paid for a cocktail
could buy a di11-cheapticket on a Pete's sake. do,vn the aisle sideways, service with food stamps. .. ....
........
.,.~,.
jet and sit down beside yours tru- That ought to give you a pretty suffers.
ly for the longest two hours and good clue to what kind of filthy, Hell, me and Dudley waited 35
I say let's up the price of air- •••••■
line tickets to where they used to
!~
20 minutes of our lives. low-class folks they're packing minutes for a beer while our be - high enough that the riffraff !;:
Whatever happened to the those jetliners with these days. stewardess stood wedged be- can't afford them. ~
good old days when flying coach And another thing. Those pret- tween two seats in the back of That way we'll put the trash 6
.. _,. was like flying first-class is to- ty stewardesses who used to wait the plane, squirming to get out. It
day? on airline passengers hand and took two of those sissy male at-
Back then, passengers on jet- foot have been replaced by gals tendants to finally pull her free.
bus!
L J ,4n'?'-
back where they belong - on the
:z
~
liners were high-class, well- so ugly even the most nearsight- Why in the world do 1 want to ~ !
dressed folks you felt privileged ed pilot won't invite them into the get on a plane and look at some w

~
17
 !GUARANTEE
YOUR
CHILD'S
SUCCESSI
TEACHHIMATHOME
I
Children taught at homeby parentsor tutorsdo just
were tested, they were above scored higher than those in pressed concern that children
as well - if not better - ~---------- average compared to school- public schools. educated at home will fail aca-
thankids educated in public these amazing facts about children given the same tests • A Californian schooled en- demically and socially," a
schools! teaching kids: across the country. tirely at home wasadmitted to spokesman said "But the evi-
A surprising new govern- When children educated at In Los Angeles, kids taught Harvard University~ dence does not support this."
ment-funded report reveals home in Alaska and Arizona in at-home groups by a tut.or "Children taught at home do Shirley Gardener of Mesa,
---,..-o,-,r.-.ir-1s-~:M-, E--l-1-TS
_____________________________ ----. as well or better than the kids Ariz., teaches two of her chi!·
who go to schoo~" said attorney dren, ages 5 and 14, at home,
LIVE Patricia Lines.
At least 50,000 children of
but her six older children went
through public school.
PERSONAL school age are now being taught "They had a lot of problems,"
at home. Most are in elemen- said Mrs.Gardener.
PSYCHIC tary grades, she said. "They were unhappy during
NUMEROLOGY• TAROT When they get to high school their school years. My other two
ASTROLOGY
• CLAIRVOYANT levei parents usually send them are much more self-confident.
to public school "They do better in relating to
Love
• Success•""Moneys ought after
"Many educators have ex- children their age."
Difficult
Decisions modern
~ LOOKINTO Id famous
britiesand
AMAZING
PROPHECIES
NEW
Hey,gals••• areyour
guys bad
~YOUR FUTURE seek
Sensational
Resultswith ABOUT: UFOs, AN~l!L_ WARS,
RareGiftedPsychics MARS DEMON$ COMn11tKSIlle By JOE KAME ,
MCMSA,tHECKS,'CUSTOMER
SERVICE ECONOMJ,.ASTEROIDS,
the WEATHER,WeeklyWorldNews
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 Doitors sayuseolpigorgans
WeeklyWorldNews
MedicalAlert
inhumans
iould
turn
By ANNIE LUCAS/WeeklyWorld News
MILWAUKEE,
Wis. - The new

intonightmare!
medical practice of
transplanting
organs into human
pig
beings could have startling
RESEARCHER
side effects - and some ex-
perts say people who receive
~ tissuescarry
Dr. Albert Yardley. the organs could actually start
turning into pigs!
nsk, butno viruses
Visiting
"Going ahead with
thedoctorhuman
these experimental pig-
yet,to humans
procedures with-
•
canraiseY.!Y!' have extremely
out further research could
By SteveSttmberi
USATODAY

dire con- ~trans-

bloodP.ressure!sequences," said Dr. Al-
bert Yardley. "At the very
For millions of people
worldwide, doctors may
never get a true blood pres-
sure reading - because
these patients' blood pres-
sure shoots sky-high the
minute the doctor walks in-
to the room!
Doctors call this "the white-
coat effect" - but they say it's
difficult to determine whether
a patient's blood pressure is
normally higb or whether the
appearance of the doctor has
caused the hypertension.
·'Thus, many people thought
to be sufferingfrom hypertension
may not bave high blood pres-
sure at all," one researcher said.
nu-
least is the danger of
transmitting pig viruses
to humans.
"And the worst-case sce-
nario is the frightening -
but very real - possibility of
humans taking on the physi-
cal characteristics of pigs."
Dr. Yardley's warning
comes on the heels of a Brit-
ish study that examined the
possibility of pig viruses be-
ing transmitted to humans.
"Currently, we don't have
any concrete evidence of a
virus being transmitted by a
pig-organ transplant but eve-
ryone involved agrees that
risl('ot
Into
aew
iD•
ore reporting their
concerns about
this medical
practice.
there certainly is a risk," Yar-
dley said. "And once a pig virus
establishes itself in a human,
then it likely can be transmit-
ted to other humans."
Yardley said his research
showsa "distinct possibility"that
putting livepig tissue in a human
could prompt that person to de-
veloppig characteristics.
"f think it's fair to say this is
something that eventually will
happen - maybe not in the
first or second generation of
transplant patients, but some-
day it will," he said.
Yardley said he is not op-
posed to pig-human trans-
plants, but fears a backlash
against the well-meaning medi-
cal establishment when first
signs of transformation show
HALF-PIG,HALF-HUMAN
freak is what medical world
fears most from new viruses.
up. "When the public sees
normal human beings devel-
oping snouts like pigs, it will
not be well received," he
said.
"And that could very well
set medical transplant ad-
van cements back several
years."
 WASHINGTON- Furious First Lady Hil-
lary Clinton has canceled White House sub-
scripti?ns to five girlie B TEDDY GERALD
magazines - after Y
Iearnm• g th at her lus ty Weekly WorldNews
hubby Bill was secret-
ly having the nasty
. .
mags delivered to his
private office!
Administration insiders
say hopping-mad Hillary per-
sonally phoned the offices of
Pl b p tho H tl
ay oy, en use,_ us er,
qallery and Chen maga-
zmes and. ordere~ them to
stop sendmg their raunchy
rags to her girl-crazy mate.
"Poor Hillary was simply
beside herself - and I think if
Bill had been there when she
found out, she'd have bopped
him with something, I really
do,'" a friend of the First Lady
told Weekly W~rld News.
"She's put up with his af-
fairs and his little Monica
J Lewinsky flings for all these
years and she's stuck up for
him by telling his accusers to
go to hell. But the thought of
him locking himself in_his of-
fice all alon~ an~ droolmg over
the naked girls m those maga-
zines struck her as just a little front but Joe wasn't there,
bit sick - even for Bill." so she started prowling around
Sources say Clinton's miffed and found a whole cache of old
miss.us discovered the Presi- girlie magazines dating back to
dents penchant for porno mag- 1993.
azines when a bumbling White "It turns out he'd been getting
House staffer inadvertantly de• the stuff delivered to the
livered a copy of Hustler to her White House since they'd
office by mistake, handing it to moved in six years ago
Hillary along with the rest of and she never knew it.
her mail. "Maybe that's what
"She opened the Hustler and made the poor woman
started screaming, 11,Vhatthe the maddest of all -
hell is this? What in the holy hell that the President had
is this?'" one insider recalled. been reading these things
''The poor guy who'd delivered right under her nose ail these
the magazine got so Ousteredhe years and she'd never even publishers personally and
made matters worse by inform- suspected it." told them if they ever sent g
ing the First Lady that it was aJJ So Hillary h-0pped on the another of their filthy maga- E
a mistake, that he was supposed phone and told five skin-mag zines to the White House, •.IJ.1. w
to have routed that to Mr. Clin- bigwigs what t..bey could do she'd come down, take their
ton's office. with their bare-bottomed big. fat cigar out of their••••• •••••
_
~
"Hillary went storming belles.
down to Bill's office to con•
I
mouth and put it where the source said. "And trust me, she
"She talked to each of the sun don't shine," one meant every word of it, too." 35
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