Professional Documents
Culture Documents
com
The author would like to thank Dr. Carol Dweck for her body of
work on growth mindset theory.
Chapter 1
What Is a Growth Mindset and Why Does Your Child Need It?...................................5
Chapter 2
Seven Practices That Lead to a Growth Mindset.............................................................14
1. Be process-focused rather than outcome-focused.................................................14
2. Say yes to rejection ............................................................................................................21
3. Learn the art of receiving feedback.............................................................................24
4. Make a habit of learning new things ...........................................................................27
5. Embrace struggle and adversity....................................................................................33
6. Compare yourself to yourself only...............................................................................36
7. Engage in deliberate practice........................................................................................ 39
Chapter 3
Make Effort, the Growth Mindset Way.................................................................................44
Chapter 4
How to Help Your Child Build a Healthy Relationship
With Mistakes and Failures........................................................................................................51
Chapter 5
Main Obstacles in Teaching a Growth Mindset and Key Solutions...........................60
You want your children to know their worth and to be happy with the person they are.
You want them to feel free to choose their own path in life and withstand every obstacle
and challenge along the way.
But what does it take? Good grades? Sport achievements? Speaking five foreign
languages? A degree from a prestigious University?
You see, the current estimate is that 65% of the jobs our children will hold have not yet
been invented. We don’t yet know how life is going to look for them and what type of
society they will live in.
So, how can we be sure that what they are learning today is what’s necessary for them to
succeed and feel happy and fulfilled?
Instead, in order to set our children up for success, we need to make sure they have
something else besides a great academic foundation. Something which is arguably even
more important.
To succeed in the uncertain future, our children need the confidence that they can learn
anything, the resilience to keep going when it gets tough, and the knowing that they are
in charge of who they are, their abilities, and their future.
They need to have the right mindset necessary to adapt, innovate, and learn.
So, what is the “right” mindset?
What is Mindset?
Mindset is how we view the world and ourselves. It’s our belief system about
our abilities and potential which fuels our behavior and predicts our success.
There are many different types of mindset: gratitude mindset, abundance
mindset, scarcity mindset, life-learning mindset, etc.
5
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
For the purpose of this e-book, we will be discussing the two most commonly known
types, which can have the biggest impact on our lives:
But how do we know that a growth mindset is actually the right way of looking at
ourselves and the world? Are we really capable of changing and growing throughout
our entire lives?
6
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
Well, several decades of research show that people who have a growth mindset tend to
embrace lifelong learning and the joy of incremental personal growth, which results in
greater capacity for success and happiness in life. A growth mindset also helps people
bounce back from failures and setbacks and embrace life’s challenges as opportunities.
“
mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during
some of the most challenging times in their lives.
– Carol Dweck
7
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
“I welcome feedback from others because it “I want others to think I’m smart. I
helps me improve.” don’t like getting negative feedback.”
“I like trying new things and stretching “I like doing things I’ve already
my abilities.” done before.”
“When something feels hard, it means I am “When something feels hard it means I’m
growing and developing my potential.” not good at it or not smart enough.”
8
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
It’s important to understand that we absolutely can change our mindset to become
more growth rather than fixed. We can also help our children develop a growth
mindset from an early age so that they don’t have to spend years (or decades)
unlearning and reprogramming their brain (like some of us, perhaps). This e-book will
give you concrete steps on how to do it.
9
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
My child gets overly frustrated. Does it mean they have a fixed mindset?
Not necessarily. People who have a growth mindset get the same emotions as people
who do not. They get frustrated and angry when they can’t get something done, they
get disappointed when they fail at something, etc.
Growth mindset doesn’t take away the emotions part. Understanding and working
with your emotions is an important part of a growth mindset as it helps you go
through the emotional experience and come out of it the right way.
Your child is working on a puzzle and it’s not going well. Each piece they try doesn’t fit the
spot. You can see their face turning red with anger. You know it’s coming… they are about
to throw all the remaining pieces at the wall (or you) and yell “I can’t do it!!!”
Now, let’s look at what’s happening during this frustrating experience. As we all know,
it’s quite difficult to reason when our bodies are flooded with strong emotions. The
same goes for our children. That’s why it’s important to understand that when our
children are showing anger or frustration, it doesn’t actually mean they have a fixed
mindset. It simply means they are dysregulated and need our help to develop a higher
frustration tolerance.
In our example, if your child has a high frustration tolerance (given that they also
don’t have any other high stressors in life that use up their “reserves”), they will be
able to push through their immediate feelings by using various coping strategies and
continue with their task (not throw the puzzle pieces in anger but continue building
the puzzle).
It’s important to understand that when your child says, “I can’t do it!”, your job is
NOT to prevent the frustration from happening or pull them out of it. In other words,
you don’t need to run over to them and try to fix their puzzle before the meltdown
happens.
Your job is to teach your child how to keep going despite the frustration. You want
them to learn how to tolerate that uncomfortable feeling of not getting something
right away.
10
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
Here are some steps you can take during the frustrating moment:
“Sometimes when I
feel frustrated, it helps
me to take a break
and do something
else like take a sip of
water or lay on a floor
with my eyes closed.
Would you like to take
a break?”
Next time, you will see that your child might be able to push through their frustration
without your help. You can just be present but not necessarily DO anything. Your child
might be able to keep going on their own. You can say: “I see you’re working really
hard and I know you can do hard things. I’m here if you need me.”
Now, let’s look at what’s happening after this frustrating experience. Here’s when you
can help your child reflect on the experience and come out with a growth mindset
plan of action.
11
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
When your child is calm, you can sit together to discuss the frustration incident. Try
the following discussion questions to guide them through:
What happened:
“Sweetie, remember when you were working on a puzzle earlier today you got really
angry? You threw all your pieces at the wall and yelled, ‘I can’t do it!’ You must have
felt really frustrated.”
You can also create a “When...I can” plan of action together for your child:
Figure out together what works for your child and helps them get through the difficult
feelings in order to keep going and complete the task.
So, remember, even if your child yells “I can’t do it” and doesn’t complete the task, it
doesn’t mean they have a fixed mindset (a fixed mindset would actually sound like,
“I am just not good at puzzles!”) It just means that they need help developing their
frustration tolerance and they can do that by trying different things to find what
works for them.
12
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 1
“On the verge of tears right now... My daughter has been quick to anger and quick
to quit for this past year. Two weeks ago, we tried a renewed growth mindset
attitude towards life. Well tonight she had an explosion, with incredible frustration,
just a complete loss of control of her emotions. She may have lost control, but I
reacted differently. Instead of demanding better behavior, we calmly discussed
how everyone feels the same way and part of growing up is practicing how to react
appropriately and growing from our emotions. Needless to say, it was an exhausting
night. But I just went in her room and found a drawing she left on her bed for me -
this incredible “start and end” picture of her, of anger entering her brain, her brain
explosion and then the bottom...repeating that it will be ok.”
Laura K.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
13
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 2
Now that you understand different types of mindset, there are several things you can
do to help yourself (and your child) develop a growth mindset.
Why do you need to work on yourself? Isn’t this ebook about teaching your child to
have a growth mindset?
Yes. And the most effective way to teach your child anything is to model it. Our
children do what we do and repeat what we say. So, for your child to have a growth
mindset, you need to learn how to have one yourself.
In this chapter, I will walk you through seven growth mindset practices you can
incorporate into your daily life, and show you how to adapt them for your child.
We always have control over the amount of work we’re putting in. We don’t always
have control of the outcome. So, focusing on what we can control is what fuels us to
continue learning and getting better.
Think about baking a cake. With a growth mindset, you are not focused on just
getting the cake done so you can share a Pinterest-worthy image with your friends
and family. You are learning about the ingredients, how they interact, taking a trip to
a special store to buy a flavorful vanilla, and reading about dairy alternatives. You are
focusing on the learning part of it and becoming a better cake maker.
Well, if you look closely, this praise is outcome-oriented. We’re praising the end result
(the tower, the picture, the puzzle). The problem with this kind of praise is that the
message our child is getting is, “I am a great puzzle maker,” “I am a great picture
drawer,” “I am a great tower builder.”
In other words, the outcome-based praise creates an identity for your child.
The main problem is that the next time they are facing a challenge, they will be afraid
to lose this identity. What goes in their head is this: “My mom thinks I am a great
tower maker. I won’t try to build a taller tower because if it falls down, she won’t think
that any longer.” As a result, your child becomes very cautious with trying new, more
difficult things (and misses out on learning new skills).
So, what kind of praise would help your child take on new challenges, instead?
You need to praise your child’s process and HOW they created that big tower. Your
praise needs to be process-oriented rather than outcome-oriented.
For example, “I saw you worked so hard on that tower. You stayed focused and
stacked your blocks slowly so they didn’t fall down.”
This way, your child’s internal monologue will sound more like this, “Aha! I was able to
build my tower because I stayed focused and worked slowly. Let me see if I can build
an even taller tower next time!”
TIP
One easy way to make sure you’re praising the process is to simply
narrate (with enthusiasm) what you see your child doing.
You’re so great at doing this! It looks like your practice paid off!
One great thing about giving your child process-based praise is that it empowers them
to control their hard work, their effort, and their resourcefulness. When we praise their
process, we help them understand HOW they got to their final result so that they can
repeat it again and again (and make it better).
“We go through graded papers each night and pick one to display on the fridge.
Usually I pick the highest grade. Today I asked instead, ‘Which one did you work
the hardest on?’ The lowest grade in the folder made the fridge tonight. But man
did he work for it. And now we have motivation to keep growing.”
Jennifer L.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
Finally, if you want to take a step further, instead of giving them your praise (and
thus, evaluation), ask them questions to ignite self-reflection and intrinsic motivation:
“I noticed you worked really hard on this. Can you tell me more about it?” or even
simpler, “How did you think about that?”
First, explain to your child that grades are more for the teachers to determine if the
students are able to understand or break down information. Grades are required by
teachers and schools yet your child’s only requirement is their best effort (later, I will
cover that not all effort is created equal).
(If you do want to pay attention to grades, my main advice is to focus on growth
and improvements. Notice the changes. Has your child made an improvement? For
instance, if your child went from a C to a B in math, make sure to point this out. Ask
them what they did to get better.)
Second, notice if your child is doing their best. They might be getting good grades and
not actually trying very hard. And vice versa, they might be doing their best, but not
getting the result they want yet.
You can say, “I see you have been working really hard on this. I love that you’re doing
your best. Sometimes we need to give our brains time to learn or try different ways of
learning.”
Third, if possible, get qualitative feedback from the teacher. Has your child been
working more independently? Did they help someone in class? Are they asking lots of
questions to make sure they understand? These things might be more important than
grades.
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com 17
Finally, our goal is to help children develop intrinsic motivation and self-evaluation,
meaning not being dependent on praise and validation from someone else. So, the
best way is to ASK questions.
“How do you think you did?” “What’s your favorite way to learn?” “Which areas do you
feel you need to work on?” “What are you proud of?”
Dashaina,
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
2. Help your child set learning goals rather than performance goals
As you’re helping your child become more process-oriented, help them
set learning goals instead of performance goals.
A performance goal is one that focuses on getting a desired end result. For example,
“I want to win the race.”
A learning goal doesn’t focus on the end result but on discovering processes and
acquiring new skills that get you to the desired result. For example, “I will learn three
new exercises that will strengthen my legs.”
To help your child turn their performance goals into learning goals, ask them these
questions:
What do you need to learn more about to reach the goal?
What do you need to get better at to reach your goal?
When you help your child break down their performance goals into a bunch of
process goals, you help them focus on what they can control (their everyday attitude
and effort) rather than focusing on the end result.
One great benefit of focusing on the learning goals is that even if they don’t reach the
desired end result (they don’t win the race, for example), your child can feel pretty
satisfied if they reached their learning goals and gained new skills. After all, that’s all
that matters.
So, how do you encourage the love of learning in your children AND motivate
them to keep going?
FIRST, ask them back the same question. Often, when children say they don’t see
a point in something, they just want to express their frustration and they actually
know the answer. So, you can say, “That’s a great question. Can you think of any
ways you can use math in your life?”
SECOND, give them practical tasks that involve math. Ask them to help you with
online shopping and give them a certain amount to spend. They can help you
select the items according to the budget. Ask them to help you with fractions
when you’re baking together. If they have a birthday party, ask them to count
how many drinks, food, and supplies you need. In other words, make it practical
and relevant to their day to day life.
THIRD, explain what learning is about. When we learn math, we also learn how to
think, process information, apply information, and use our critical thinking skills.
These skills can be applied in all areas of life. Learning is also about taking on and
tackling new challenges.
You can say, “Learning difficult things helps you exercise your perseverance
muscle so that you can tackle any challenge that comes your way!”
You can say, “There are so many times in life we may have to learn to do
something we dislike. We need to practice finding value in these things. For
instance, learning how to do chores is often not fun. But when you can find the
positives, peace, or contentment in doing these tasks, it will help you throughout
your life. So when we learn to embrace math we develop the skill of embracing
many things to come.”
Any time you create something, or show your true self, you risk rejection and
losing approval. You can almost guarantee if you do something significant, expose
your ideas, show your contribution to the world, there will be someone, or some
group who will reject you. When you’re afraid of being rejected, you do not feel
confident enough to act according to your own intrinsic desires and values.
Fear of rejection prevents us from putting our best work into the world because
we censor ourselves to produce what we think is acceptable and desired by others.
So, we are confronted with a choice, put ourselves out there or protect ourselves.
But by protecting ourselves and doing nothing essentially means we’re rejecting
ourselves. Your willingness to feel rejection from others is key. “I am willing to be
rejected.” Expect it. Welcome it. Imagine what you would be doing now in your life
if you were not afraid of being rejected.
It’s also important that our children learn to respect the boundaries of people who are
not interested in what they have to offer.
The most important step here is to help them prioritize internal validation.
Our human’s primitive brain is wired to seek validation from others. We want to be
accepted by the “tribe” so that we’re safe and protected from external threats.
We will never stop seeking social feedback and external validation because it is
important to our self concept and development. However, we need to learn how to
place less importance on opinions of others and more on our own self-evaluation.
You can have a big impact on how much your child values their own opinion
of themselves and their work. Begin by paying attention to how you give them
feedback.
Instead of immediately jumping to praise or criticism about something your child has
done, ASK them questions like this:
And if your child answers with “I don’t know,” that’s a great reason to continue to
encourage them to self-reflect.
When we ask our children for their own assessment instead of immediately jumping
in with our opinion, we’re giving them a chance to self-reflect and self-evaluate.
This helps them develop internal validation, which is the most important voice to be
listening to and nourishing.
You can tell them that every time they are putting their work out in the world or
asking someone for something, they’re building their “courage muscle.” Reinforce this
by noticing their action and ignoring the outcome:
One simple way to do this is to play board games or chess and not let your child
win on purpose. If your child has a very hard time losing (which is a similar feeling
to being rejected), help them find coping strategies. For some children, taking deep
breaths or running in place works best, others find calm in holding ice cubes in their
hands. Find what works for your child.
It’s important to let your child feel sad or angry in these situations. We’re just
teaching them how to deal with these emotions when they arise so they can calm
down and try again.
“I get my kids to examine their emotions as physical sensations and notice how,
for example, anxiety and excitement feel very similar. When we notice feelings
as sensations we are more centered in the present which makes coping easier. It
becomes easier to relate and reflect rather than feeling lost in feelings we don’t
know what to do with.”
Kate M.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
But certain feedback can be valuable and can help us grow. It can give us helpful
information on where we need to improve.
Growth mindset is about having the ability (and courage) to sit back and reflect on
the feedback—to see if there is any truth to it, understand what you are meant to be
learning from it and move forward stronger and more resiliently.
In fact, people with a growth mindset may proactively seek feedback from others by
asking, “If you were me, what would you do differently?”
Before you speak, take a deep breath and ask yourself some questions:
Let’s look at Anabel. She is eleven years old and has been playing the violin since
she was four. She practices two hours a day. She’s very good and has won many
competitions, but she doesn’t respond well to feedback and seems to have reached a
point where she isn’t developing new skills.
Anabel’s mother might reflect and think, “It’s not a complaint, I have genuinely noticed
that her effort has waned. The reason I want to give her feedback is so she has the
opportunity to keep growing as a musician but also to see if she wants to re-define her
goals. If I don’t give her feedback she might think that doing the same thing she always
does is productive effort.”
If you go through the questions above and still want to give feedback to your child,
consider one more thing: children often understand and feel where they are lacking in
skills and we don’t always need to point it out for them.
A big part of teaching our children a growth mindset is realizing that they don’t need
to excel at everything. It’s about progress and learning. This is not to suggest that
you should discourage them from exceling, not at all. But you can teach them that
excellence is the path, not the point.
Ok, if after this last argument you still want to share your opinion with your child, here
are some valuable tips:
“I have some information that might be helpful. How open are you to hearing it?”
“I’m going to give you some advice. It is just helpful information and it’s up to you
what you want to do with it.”
For example, if your child doesn’t do homework until the last minute and is stressed,
ask them later how they felt about it and, if they acknowledge it was difficult,
encourage them to find strategies for doing it differently.
4. Phrase your feedback so it’s never tied to the child but to the action.
When giving your feedback to a child:
For example:
This morning when we were talking about our vacation, you interrupted Jessica while
she was talking and said, “that’s stupid,” before she had a chance to finish. I didn’t get
to hear more from her. Next time, I would like to hear ideas from everyone.
The first statement is giving feedback on a specific situation and is commenting on the
behavior. The second statement is a generalization and implies that she is a bad person
for always interrupting.
Think of a plant. It can stay the same and not thrive or it can grow new shoots and
leaves and lean in towards the sunlight. A growth mindset can lead to an infinite
number of new branches.
So how do you encourage your kids to try new things and motivate them to learn?
You can say, “Why not just go in there and see if it really is for you.” Ask the instructor
if trying it out is a possibility before you commit.
In Austria, they offer something called, ‘sniffer days’ where kids can literally go to an
activity and sniff around. Okay, maybe not literally sniff around but you get what I’m
saying.
If they are still anxious, help them understand what the worrying part of their brain is
saying compared to the reality of the situation.
This is a bit how it could feel for your child, going into a room full of strangers, not
having any skills in this new activity, and thinking that even though they are a bit
curious about learning to play hockey, the risk is too much.
Next time they are dragging their feet say to them, “No one expects you to be an
expert. You’ve never done it before. Remember, making mistakes is a natural part of
getting good at something.”
It’s important for your child to understand that their feelings are okay. There’s nothing
wrong with being very nervous about learning something new.
“It can be scary to go into a situation where you don’t know anyone. It’s okay to feel
scared and it’s okay to keep going even with that uncomfortable feeling. Some things
are scary at first and then so much fun! What if there is someone there who is feeling
just like you, you could support each other?”
“Okay we are going to give this a try for 30 minutes. Sometimes our bodies get nervous
with new things. Let’s try it to get your body used to it then we can discuss it again.”
There is good evidence that when children learn at a slower pace and without pressure,
they are more likely to learn something well. Learning for the long haul and reaching
mastery, takes time and practice.
How you encourage your child to stick with their learning can make a BIG impact on
how they’ll deal with any challenge in the future.
You can actively coach your child through learning challenges, and model how to talk
to themselves:
That slower pace is very likely to pick up speed the more your child believes in their
own abilities to learn and get through challenges.
“Hey, remember when you couldn’t quite figure out how to (button your shirt, finish
that giant puzzle, the answer on the math homework…) and then you figured it out?”
And finally, resist the urge to jump in and show your child the right way or the results.
Your patience and modeling endurance for the learning process will wire your child’s
brain for sustained learning.
Yelena K.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
If your child is nervous about learning how to ice skate, you can begin as a family until
your child is comfortable on their own.
Ask them:
Our children are constantly doing something and for them to develop the skill of
focusing and paying attention to one thing, they need to practice just being and
observing.
So how do we help our children develop the ability to just be, listen to the silence,
and relax?
Create a “sit spot” for your child. A “sit spot” is a spot outside where they can sit
and observe. Give them a journal and pencils. Their task would be to sit and look
around and draw pictures of what they see or think about. Older kids can also
write about things they see, hear, or think about.
Initially, you can do it together with your child. Sit with them and say “Let’s be
quiet for a bit. What can you hear? What can you see?....” and go through all the
senses. Then explain that when we’re always so busy doing something or talking,
we miss those things they’ve just noticed.
Another thing you can try is to sit together facing away from each other. When
time is up you can turn and face each other to share your drawings or writings.
As your child practices sitting on their sit spot, they will get better at paying
attention and focusing.
To truly live a successful life filled with action, purpose, and growth, we need to push
ourselves beyond what we can currently accomplish, so we can accomplish greater
things tomorrow.
“ The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive,
relaxing times... The best moments usually occur if a person’s
body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to
accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. ”
- Mihaly Csikszentmihaly
If we always solve problems for our children, they will never learn to solve problems
themselves. We imply that they are not capable of overcoming obstacles or succeeding
on their own, which conditions them to give up at the first sign of difficulty.
When we let our children struggle, we help them build what they need to overcome
challenges in the future.
So, how can you support your child when they are struggling or overcoming a
challenge?
3. Provide choices.
This works well during the frustrating moments. Sometimes our children feel
overwhelmed with emotions and do not know how to proceed. You can give them
options:
“Would you like to keep trying, take a break, or ask for help?”
If you have younger children just offer one or two options at a time.
Remind your child that when you have a growth mindset, you know that you can learn
and master anything with practice. Therefore, something being “hard” is a temporary
condition.
“Sometimes I sit down with my daughters and watch videos from when they
were babies, learning to walk, feeding themselves, dressing up, etc. and we laugh
a lot and I bring up how amazing and persistent they are because now at 10 and
8 they have mastered those things and moved on to new levels. I have found it’s
easier for them to relate and remind themselves they have the ability to keep on
going until something is achieved.”
Susana G.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
You’re essentially talking about what you’re feeling (frustration, sadness, anger) and
how you’re dealing with those feelings or what you’re going to do next.
When we’re saying these things out loud, children are learning how they can talk to
themselves when they’re facing a challenge.
Children need to see us struggle and make mistakes. They need to understand that this
is all part of being human. Challenges and mistakes help us learn, evolve, and grow.
When we grow, we increase our ability to reach our goals and contribute to the world.
You can discuss what these 3 strategies are. It could be looking it up in a book or
online, taking a break, and trying again using a different strategy or approach, etc.
We never want to prevent our children from asking for help. At the same time, we
want them to learn other ways to get through challenges and rely more on their
own abilities and creativity.
Sound familiar?
At its root, the impulse is connected to the instant judgments we make of other
people—a key element of the brain’s social-cognition network that can be traced to the
evolutionary need to protect oneself and assess threats.
Even though comparisons can be helpful in learning a new skill (we observe others and
learn by imitating), making judgements about your worth based on comparisons with
others is rarely helpful.
Growth mindset implies you focus not on competing with others, but rather on building
the skill and getting better than you were last time. Your personal growth and learning
are always about you and no one else. You might not be the best and that’s okay. The
important thing is that you are improving.
This means that social comparison is generally most potent for the young. Therefore,
we need to put extra effort into helping our children get out of the comparison game
and focus on themselves, instead.
“Look, Daniel has already put his shoes on,” only sends a message that Daniel is more
capable.
Avoid comparing even when your child is doing something better than others.
“You did such a great job sharing today even though some of your friends had a very
hard time sharing.”
If you want to acknowledge your child, instead encourage the introspection, “I saw you
sharing today with others. How did it feel?”
To help you break the habit of comparing, ask your child to remind you every time you
compare them to someone else. You’ll be surprised how quickly this habit stops!
“
or dean’s lists, or Phi Beta Kappa keys, in short, for the ignoble
satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else.
-John Holt
“Our accomplishments and results do not make us more or less valuable or important.
There’s always someone worse or better than you at something in any given moment.”
“There will always be people who can outperform you, and that doesn’t matter one bit.”
3. Teach them to set personal goals and track performance over time.
When we teach our kids to set personal goals and track their progress, we shift their
focus from others to themselves. This step can be easily modeled. Choose a new hobby
or a skill you want to learn and model how you track your progress for your child.
“I always wanted to learn French. I set a goal to learn 100 words this month. I am going
to track my progress using this simple chart. This will help focus on how I improve
over time.”
Imagine your child says, “Kara is a better runner than me. I’ll never be like her.”
You can reply:
For example, if your child is playing competitive sports, teach them to pay attention to
their skills developing over time. No matter if the game is won or lost, ask your child, “How
do you feel you did compared to last time? Did you make progress?”
Emphasize that the only thing that matters is whether or not they improved upon their skill.
In fact, our potential is not fixed, as we are able to increase it throughout our lives.
How do we do that? How do we develop and improve our skills and abilities? Research
shows that we need to be engaging in the right sort of practice.
Naïve practice
is doing the same thing repeatedly and just expecting that repetition will
bring improvement. It includes playing games like tennis, golf, and soccer with friends,
or a doctor who uses the same practices every time for years.
Purposeful practice
are individualized practice activities the trainee engages in to
improve their performance, but without the benefit of a teacher who has extensive
knowledge of effective methods.
It’s quite common for children to lose interest in activities, especially if they require
hard work (like learning a new instrument or practicing a sport). Luckily, there are
several things you can do to help your child master the right type of practice and set
them up for a lifelong success.
“Did you know that when you’re learning new things your brain is creating new cells?
It literally grows! And when you practice something, the connections between the new
cells get stronger so that it becomes easier and easier for you to do the new thing
you’re learning. The more you practice, the easier it becomes.”
Make sure they have a concrete goal (for example, learn how to draw a robot in 3D).
Help them FOCUS during practice. Taking breaks is important. Training for a shorter
time with 100% focus is more beneficial than a longer time with 50% focus. Even
experienced musicians need to take breaks during practice.
Find a skillful teacher to provide feedback. If no teacher is available, help them
evaluate their own performance.
TIP
Encourage your child to practice before bed. Make it part of their
bedtime routine. Most kids want to delay their bedtime so practicing
wouldn’t require a lot of convincing.
“I realized my boys thought the rest of us were not doing anything in their
perspective. So I finally said, “I will run for 15 minutes while you practice music,
it can be our routine.” It took a week or so for them to buy in but they did.”
Pamela S.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
So, to motivate your child, you can either strengthen the reasons to keep going or
weaken the reasons to quit (or do both.)
In the previous chapter, we covered 7 practices that will help you and your child develop
a growth mindset.
We also learned, in chapter 1, about the big myth that a growth mindset equals hard work
(“If I just put forth effort, I will be successful.”).
In this chapter, I will dive deeper into dismantling this myth and showing you how this
applies to your child’s growth and potential.
“I got such a rush from creating still life compositions because I was good at it, balancing
the colors and shapes, that I’d spend hours perfecting setups and then just use the
easiest lighting.”
But let’s think about it…even though she might have enjoyed spending hours doing the
things she already knew how to do, was she really growing as a photographer? Was she
building new skills and expanding her abilities?
Imagine that effort takes on different personas. There is the ‘old friend’ style of effort,
putting in the hours doing something you are familiar with while staying in your comfort
zone.
And then there is the ‘hello stranger’ style where you put the hours in doing something
you can’t already do. According to Karl Rohnke (the founder of adventure education),
this is where you get into the Stretch Zone (SZ) or Zone of Growth (ZoG). You are
stretching the boundaries of your comfort zone.
This is where the magic (and the hard work) happens. You are focused, buzzing with
energy, and neurons are zapping. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bliss – this is where you
make your best mistakes because you are taking the most risks!
stretch zone
GROWTH EFFORT
comfort zone
NO-GROWTH EFFORT
PRACTICING WHAT YOU
ALREADY KNOW, JUST
PUTTING IN TIME
DELIBERATE, PURPOSEFUL
PRACTICE, MAKING YOUR
BRAIN GROW
Children often hang about in the comfort zone, where they put in the time, perhaps being
taken from one activity to the next, passively participating and not really gaining new
skills or challenging themselves.
Maybe they are active in the sense that they really wanted to take guitar lessons, but
after a few weeks seem to only practice when you remind them how much money you
spent. They put in time but they are NOT in their Stretch Zone.
From my experience “being lazy” is an umbrella term that does more damage than good.
If we say someone is lazy, we are creating an excuse. We are saying, they don’t have
what it takes, so there’s no point in trying to help them.
So, instead of labeling your child lazy, explore effective motivators instead.
Caitlin diligently showed up at practice but never really put extra effort in. She seemed
to like the social aspect and was comfortable doing the weekly drills, and passing and
receiving the ball. But her mother said she sometimes felt like shaking her and yelling,
“Shoot! What are you waiting for!”
This is a tough one, because it is important to remember that it’s a game and a child
should be having fun. It’s a good thing that she goes along willingly, gets exercise, and
feels part of the team. This enjoyment creates intrinsic motivation.
However, if she’s just showing up and not ever really challenging herself, then she is not
developing her potential.
So, how do you motivate your child to put forth the right effort that will help them
develop skills and grow?
1. Understand why.
There’s always a reason for a lack of effort. Ask yourself these questions:
Is the task interesting to my child?
The truth is, if your child finds the task boring they will naturally tune out or rush
through it.
Is this activity relatable for them, or is there some way to make it more enjoyable?
For example, if they are studying for a history test and the information is unrelatable,
consider using drawings, or acting out scenes to bring it to life.
Is there another underlying reason that prevents them from stretching themselves?
In the case of Caitlin, when her mother asked WHY she wasn’t stretching herself, it
turned out that Caitlin was worried about letting her team down if she tried to score
and failed. So she didn’t even try. She felt comfortable and appreciated in her role
and had convinced herself that she was better at offering support and letting other
girls shine.
You can encourage your child to display what they have accomplished. If they say they
don’t want to display it (perhaps, because they know it’s not their best effort), you can
say to them, “Maybe today wasn’t a great day but feel free to replace it tomorrow.”
There is a lovely children’s book called The Dot, by Peter Reynolds about a six-year
old girl who thinks she can’t draw. Instead of criticizing, a teacher proudly displays this
girl’s work. By the end of the book (spoiler alert), the girl has her own art exhibit.
Listen to a reading of the book here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clpw7PG7m1Q
Always bring your child back to the process and the progress. Help them focus on how
they got there, both by keeping track of their progress and retracing their steps. “Why
do you think you got a C on your test? What have you done differently this time?”
“Today my daughter was having a hard time focusing on her homework and
really didn’t want to do it. We used humor and physical actions to break it up.
She had to make a complex sentence with the word hopping. So we had a
hopping contest. We talked about what kind of animals hop. We talked about
how funny our cats would look if they were hopping around on one foot. Not
only was she able to complete the sentence but she did the next eight very
quickly as well.”
Robyn K.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
If your child IS in a dysregulated state, refer to Chapter 1 “My child gets overly
frustrated. Does it mean they have a fixed mindset?” for guidance.
performance
BEST DAY
YOUR MIGHT EACH
LOOK
doing DIFFERENT
time
Not ALL things our children do require their highest effort.
Sometimes we just need to let our kids be kids. We can let them have fun and
forget about the effort part. Sometimes, we can just ask, “Did you have fun
today?” and it’s all that matters.
“Today being a good parent meant not pushing a very tired and emotionally
fragile 7-year-old to do any work and instead, snuggling on a sofa, making cake
and riding her bike, only to discover that while I was putting her baby sister
to bed, she’d decided to do a load of her math homework, with no help or
persuasion.”
Laura L.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
Have you ever heard your child say, “I’m so stupid, I got this wrong,” or “That was
such a stupid mistake.” When these words spill out of our child’s mouth, as a self-
shaming or belittling act, as if to claim the judgment before others have a chance, it’s
heartbreaking.
Let’s take a step back and consider the factors that teach us how to think this way.
The good news is we can do a lot to repair our child’s relationship with their mistakes
and help their brain perceive them as opportunities.
Stretch mistakes happen when we’re working to expand our current abilities. We want
to make stretch mistakes! If we never made stretch mistakes, it would mean that we
never truly challenged ourselves to learn new knowledge or skills. When we make
stretch mistakes we want to analyze, identify what we can learn, and then adjust our
approach next time.
51
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
Aha-moment mistakeshappen when we achieve what we intend to do, but realize that it
was a mistake because of some knowledge we lacked from the outset.
For example, we call a friend for their birthday on the right date, but the wrong
month. We can learn from these mistakes by reflecting on why they occured.
Sloppy mistakes happen when we’re doing something we already know how to do, but
we do it incorrectly because we lose focus or are just, well, sloppy. These mistakes
should be avoided if possible. It’s important to understand, however, that for some
children these mistakes are acceptable, especially, if they’re tired or there’s high
stress in their lives.
“As someone with ADHD, I frequently make the same stupid mistakes over and
over again, thinking that *this time!* I have it figured out and it’ll be fine, only to
mess it up again. It’s not being purposefully careless, it’s my brain not functioning
well in that manner.”
A Parent,
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
What are fixed and growth mindset views on mistakes and failures?
Fixed mindset and growth mindset have very different views on mistakes and failures.
It is possible to change the way we experience mistakes simply by shifting from
a perspective of shame and frustration (fixed mindset) to one of acceptance and
openness (growth mindset).
“
Students with a fixed mindset tend not to handle setbacks well.
Because they believe that setbacks call their intelligence into
question, they become discouraged or defensive when they
“
don’t succeed right away. They may quickly withdraw their
effort, blame others, lie about their scores, or consider cheating.
- Dr. Carol Dweck
Professor of Psychology at Stanford University
52
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
Mistakes may result in us quitting the Mistakes are inevitable when we learn new
activity altogether. things and stretch ourselves.
A fixed mindset may cause us to cover Mistakes encourage us to try again. Instead
of shame, we feel grateful to know where we
up the mistake. need improvement.
Learning to be kind to ourselves and accepting that mistakes are a normal and
necessary part of progress is exactly what growth mindset is about.
53
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
Mistakes themselves are not the growth; they are the opportunity.
Let’s say your child makes a mistake while learning tennis. They continuously straighten
their arm when they should be bending it. It is affecting the direction of the ball.
Once your child corrects the mistake, notice the correction and the process of
correction. “Great, your arm was bent that time.” “See how the ball went over the net
when you bent your arm.”
Remind your child that it isn’t the mistake itself which brings them closer to their goal
(of getting the ball over the net), but the actions taken to correct the mistake.
“
“That’s an interesting strategy. Let’s think about why it didn’t
work and whether it gives us some clues for a new path. What
should we try next?
- Carol Dweck
What if I am a perfectionist?
If you had to answer the question, is perfectionism about running towards, or away
from something, what would you say? Your instinct might say it’s about running
towards a goal. However, if we reflect a bit deeper, it’s actually about running away
from a fear.
Often perfectionism is just the fear of failure or making a mistake. When you overcome
this fear, you will overcome your perfectionist tendencies.
Think about it. Why would you want your child’s birthday party to be perfect? It’s okay
if you want to hold yourself to your best ability. But most often it is about fearing what
others might think.
Perfectionism is a fear of showing up as you really are, so instead of taking the risk of
someone seeing the real you, you just don’t show up. Instead you create this façade
that protects you.
54
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
“
opportunity to figure out what went wrong. Instead they could say:
‘Mistakes happen, so let’s try to pay attention to what went wrong
and figure it out.’
- Hans Schroder,
Department of Psychology, Michigan State University
Say, “I know you feel frustrated,” or “It looks like you’re feeling angry.”
If you see your child got an incorrect answer, ask them: “Can you tell me how you got
to this answer? Can you show me what you did?”
And if you see that they’re struggling to find the error, that’s when you can say, “Ok,
you’ve got this part correct. See if you can figure out which part needs to be adjusted.”
“The best thing about incorrect answers is that they provide a great chance to
understand what we need to do differently and where we need to learn more! Incorrect
answers give us so much useful information. Let’s see what we can learn here.”
55
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
When you or your child make a mistake, take the opportunity to celebrate. Give a high
five and say, “High five! You’re learning!” or, “Woohoo! Your brain is growing!”
“I heard of a parent’s practice I wish I knew about 25 years ago when our son was
young. Every week dad asked the kids at the dinner table, “So, what did you fail
at this week?” He shared things he tried and was unsuccessful. Everyone shared.
It framed for everyone that failing to get something right is not something to be
ashamed of, but simply a part of living and growing.”
Lisa R.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
56
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
When you make mistakes talk to your child about what you’ve learned from the
experience or what you will do differently next time. Ask what they would have done
and emphasize stretch mistakes.
“
sorry.’ This is so powerful because it also gives the child permission
to make a mistake. To admit having messed up and still be okay.
- Dr. John Gottman
57
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
Let’s say your child is working on a math problem. They ask you to check their answer
and when you check you see the answer is incorrect. You say, “Sweetie, this is not
correct.” And your child’s brain immediately thinks, “I am not good at math.” They
get frustrated, they want to give up, they might even get angry—all because of the
automatic thought “I am not good at math!”
Here’s what’s happening. The triggering situation is your child hearing their answer is
incorrect. It triggers their automatic thought, “I am not good at math.” This thought
triggers a feeling of misery, anxiety, disappointment, and a desire to quit. That feeling
triggers an action like throwing a pen or storming away.
How do you help your child get rid of this automatic negative thought?
We need to help rewire their brain to break that strong connection between the
situation and the negative thought and create a new connection between the situation
and a different thought.
It might be difficult for your child to immediately jump from a negative to the opposite
positive thought; from “I am not good at math” to “I am good at math.” They do not
believe they are good at math and it will be difficult for their brain to start thinking that.
I suggest starting with a neutral thought first. What you can say is: “Sweetie, I’ve been
thinking that every time you get a wrong answer in math, we can say an affirmation
together. We’ll say, ‘I am learning math.’ This will help you carry on.”
So, instead of “I am not good at math,” they will start repeating “I am learning math.” It
is a neutral statement that is not going to be flagged by their brain as not true. They are
learning math, it’s easy for their brain to accept this thought. The more they practice
thinking this new thought, the stronger the connection between the situation, and this
new thought will become, which will eventually replace the existing connection.
Eventually, you can encourage them to move from a neutral to a positive statement
like, “I am good at math.” This will become their new affirmation and eventually a new
automatic thought every time they make a mistake.
58
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 4
Then once they do that, ask them to close their eyes (you can close yours too) and
wait together for something to happen.
Wait for a minute and two, and then ask them to open their eyes to see if anything
bad happened. Then you can say:
“It looks like nothing bad happened after we spilled this water...what do you think?
Let’s clean up together!”
You want to make sure your child understands that making simple mistakes doesn’t
actually cause anything bad to happen. Their world doesn’t crash, they are still
okay, they are still LOVED.
I also suggest throwing a MISTAKE PARTY for your child. You can agree that you
will celebrate together once they make 10 or 20 mistakes. Before the mistake party
you can make a sign together with a spelling error, you can all wear your shirts
backward, eat your dessert first before the dinner, etc. In other words, you can
make mistakes fun.
59
Big Life Journal — biglifejournal.com
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Chapter 5
Now that you’ve read this book, you’re likely feeling well informed and ready to
make some positive changes towards developing a growth mindset and teaching
your children what you’ve learned.
But what should you do if you are met with resistance? One of the biggest
challenges we see parents facing is getting kids to buy in. When our children see us
trying to teach them something, often they get annoyed and resistant.
That’s usually because they feel you want to change them, as if there’s something
wrong with them. What goes through their head is, “I am not good enough for my
mom (dad). They want me to be different.”
That’s why I highly advise you to reinforce the message of your unconditional love
to them and do it often. You can say:
“You are enough and complete just as you are. My job is to guide and empower you
so that you are able to do whatever you wish to do in life. I want to help you find
and develop your superpowers! Remember, there’s nothing you can do or not do to
change my love for you.”
“I’ve come to the conclusion that while growth mindset can be taught to some
level, everyone has their basic temperament. As a parent, I can’t – and should not
– try to change that. I am kind of jolly myself but my kiddo just isn’t, but she is
valuable as she is. I must be very sensitive when trying to teach a growth mindset
to her so she doesn’t feel I don’t accept her as she is.”
Kati A.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
In addition, there are some ways you can make teaching a growth mindset not such
an obvious lesson. You can even make it fun.
You can also subscribe HERE to receive free printable growth mindset activities and
crafts every Friday.
In each episode, two best friends Zara and Leo travel the world to discover and tell
the stories of the living heroes that believe in themselves, have resilience, and make a
difference in the world.
I also write a new affirmation on a sticky note and tape it to his bathroom mirror every
morning (okay, not every morning, but often).
For more creative ideas on how you can boost your child’s confidence and growth
mindset, check out these nine creative ways.
1. I’ve been using growth mindset practices for some weeks now and my
child still tries to quit everything he tries.
Remember, your child’s brain needs time to re-learn and re-wire itself. Be patient and
stick to the practices. It’s important to be consistent with your language and attitude.
“Today, my 10 yr old daughter finished her math and said, “Mom, I want to tell
you what I’ve learned. I’ve realized that if I just stay focused and keep working, I
find that I really can do the math. It feels good. I think I’m getting more resilient.
Is that a growth mindset?”
Rachel T.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
“So far all of my attempts at growth mindset activities and conversations with my
2 boys have been met with jokes and brush offs. I have kept it light hearted for
the most part because I refuse to give up. Yesterday my son was talking about
an activity he was doing with some buddies at indoor recess (making medieval
weapons out of plasticine lol) and how they failed the first time but succeeded
the second time. Then he said to me, “It really was a First Attempt In Learning” I
about fell over!!! They are listening....they are hearing!!!!”
Carol K.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
The most important thing to remember is there’s only ONE person you can change.
And it is YOURSELF. So, the most effective thing to do is to learn to let go and focus on
yourself. You will also be leading by example. As they see you benefiting from a growth
mindset, their presumptions may change.
You can model a growth mindset. You can also be your child’s role model, their pillar
of strength, their guiding light. You can be their safe person, someone they know
they can trust, someone who brings them certainty. You can be the most loving, kind,
and compassionate person in their life so when someone treats them differently, they
will know it’s not the right way.
Remember, it’s all about perspective. Focus on your partner’s strengths and
acknowledge what’s going well. Trust that your partner is doing their best with what
they know, and YOU’re doing your best with what YOU know.
When we accept each other, we are more open to communicating, learning from each
other, and finding the common ground.
Our children are always learning from us so let’s show them an example of respect,
acceptance, and unconditional love.
By simply sharing your everyday experiences and narrating what you’re feeling and
thinking, you will be able to teach your child a great deal of important life lessons.
Don’t worry if you don’t yet have a growth mindset. By sharing your own mindset
transformation journey you will serve as a great example for your child. And they will
learn along with you.
We don’t use the word ‘yet’ in relation to ‘can’t’ in our house. If someone says
they can’t, I say ‘just because you can’t do it *easily*, doesn’t mean you can’t do
it’. Then yesterday I was trying to move some furniture around and got the bed
frame stuck in the doorway, then couldn’t get the bolts loosened to take it apart.
And out of exasperation and a little panic, I said, halfway to myself, ‘I can’t do
this!’. And I heard my little 5 year old from across the room say, ‘what do we say
about can’t, Mom?’ It was a great affirmation that they are listening.
- Joanna P.
“Raising Kids with A Growth Mindset” Facebook Group Member
That’s the whole point. There is no end. When you open to a growth way of thinking,
and focus on the progress, you will achieve a much deeper level of success because
you will have built the foundation.
When you adopt a growth mindset and teach your children the same, you are arming
them with a lifetime of curiosity and learning, about the world and about themselves.
Brault Foisy, Lorie-Marlène, et al. “Blocking Our Brain: How We Can Avoid Repetitive
Mistakes! · Frontiers for Young Minds.” Frontiers for Young Minds, 14 Dec. 2015, https://kids.
frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/frym.2015.00017.
Briceño, Eduardo. “Mistakes Are Not All Created Equal.” Mindset Works, Mindset Works, 16
Jan. 2015, https://blog.mindsetworks.com/entry/mistakes-are-not-all-created-equal.
Dweck, Carol S. “Even Geniuses Work Hard.” Educational Leadership, no. 68.1, ASCD, Sept.
2010, pp. 16–20, https://blogs.waukeeschools.org/maplegrovepdpost/files/2013/03/Even-
Geniuses-Work-Hard.pdf.
Ericsson, Anders, and Robert Pool. Peak. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016.
Ericsson, K. Anders, et al. “The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert
Performance.” Psychological Review, no. 3, American Psychological Association (APA),
1993, pp. 363–406. Crossref, doi:10.1037/0033-295x.100.3.363.
Ericsson, K. Anders, and Kyle W. Harwell. “Deliberate Practice and Proposed Limits on the
Effects of Practice on the Acquisition of Expert Performance: Why the Original Definition
Matters and Recommendations for Future Research.” Frontiers in Psychology, Frontiers
Media SA, Oct. 2019. Crossref, doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02396.
Macnamara, Brooke N., et al. “The Relationship Between Deliberate Practice and
Performance in Sports.” Perspectives on Psychological Science, no. 3, SAGE Publications,
May 2016, pp. 333–50. Crossref, doi:10.1177/1745691616635591.
Michigan State University. “Kids Should Pay More Attention to Mistakes, Study
Suggests.” ScienceDaily, ScienceDaily, 30 Jan. 2017, https://www.sciencedaily.com/
releases/2017/01/170130100240.htm.
Rissanen, Inkeri, et al. “In Search of a Growth Mindset Pedagogy: A Case Study of One
Teacher’s Classroom Practices in a Finnish Elementary School.” Teaching and Teacher
Education, no. Volume 77, Elsevier BV, Jan. 2019, pp. 204–13. Crossref, doi:10.1016/j.
tate.2018.10.002.
Trunk, Penelope. “My 11-Year-Old Son Auditioned at Juilliard, and We Both Learned a Lot
about How Top Performers Practice.” Business Insider, Business Insider, 30 May 2017,
https://www.businessinsider.com/my-11-year-old-son-auditioned-at-juilliard-2017-5?fbclid=I
wAR2WA256K4sZHJC9TWg8iqDrzwgvppmOKQkTs0yt9ow7cqaY6q1_XNn2NJc.
University of Southern California. “Making a Mistake Can Be Rewarding, Study Finds: MRI
Study Shows Failure Is a Rewarding Experience When the Brain Has a Chance to Learn
from Its Mistakes.” ScienceDaily, ScienceDaily, 25 Aug. 2015, https://www.sciencedaily.
com/releases/2015/08/150825103111.htm.
Webber, Rebecca. “The Comparison Trap.” Psychology Today, Psychology Today, 7 Nov.
2017, https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/articles/201711/the-comparison-trap.
Big Life Journal for Kids: a beautifully illustrated workbook that's great for
introducing your child to a growth mindset and the power of their brain. It's done
together with a journal buddy (usually, a parent) and has accompanying lesson
plans.
Big Life Journal Buddies Video Series: provide your child with a Growth Mindset
Mentor and designated journal buddy. This engaging Web-TV series enhances
your child's Big Life Journal for Kids experience and can be streamed on any
device.
Big Life Kids Podcast: a free podcast that teaches children growth mindset
lessons in a fun and engaging way. The first and second seasons go together
with Big Life Journal for Kids. The Podcast Activity Kits are also available for
download.
Big Life Journal - Daily Edition: a science-based daily journal that helps
children practice growth mindset thinking, learn about their emotions, and focus
on encouraging, loving thoughts. It's a great sequel to the Big Life Journal for
Kids(original).
Growth Mindset Kit for Kids: a collection of printable worksheets, posters, activities,
and coloring pages designed to help children practice applying a growth mindset in
their day-to-day lives.
Resilience Kit for Kids: a collection of printable worksheets and activities that help
children develop high frustration tolerance and learn how to keep going when it's
difficult.
Big Life Journal for Teens: a guided workbook to teach tweens and teens
about the power of the mindset and positive self-talk. A great introduction to
goal-setting and the concept of designing your life.
PARENTS
Free Friday Printables: the easiest way to get access to the best growth mindset
activities for FREE. Each Friday you will download a new resource and each Monday
you will get a new growth mindset parenting tip in your inbox.
Parenting Masterclasses: our exclusive growth mindset courses designed for busy
parents. Learn how to deal with challenges such as your child's negative self-talk, low
frustration tolerance, fear of failure, and more.
Raising Kids with a Growth Mindset Facebook Group: the place where you can ask your
specific question on parenting and get a ton of helpful advice. The group is moderated and
highly engaged .
BIGLIFEJOURNAL.COM
Prepared exclusively for Maria Lorena Siqueiros Fernandez/lore.siqueiros@gmail.com - Order: 765592.
Helpful Resources to Help You Put
This All Into Practice
IMPORTANT ARTICLES
7 Ways To Address Your Child's Negative Self-Talk
How to Explain Growth Mindset to Kids: Neuroplasticity Activities
5 Powerful Ways to Help Kids Develop a Growth Mindset in Mathematics
How To Raise Resilient Kids Who Never Give Up
HELPFUL LISTS
45 Growth Mindset Mantras