Ms Moderator : And last panel 4, as a household counsellor, what do you think about

polygamy

Panel 4: Thank you Ms Moderator for the good question. Before that, Assalamualaikum and
good morning to all panel and lovely audience. Thank you for inviting me in this great forum.
Based on my experience, for being household counsellor for almost a decade, I have faced all
sorts pf household problems that mostly related to [olygamy. For me, polygamy have the bad
and the good things which is depends on how the people perform it. So, the problem that I
always have to faced is when they questioning me, should a wife sacrifice her feelings for a
polygamous husband? They especially the husband will always use sought after excuse is the
reward of the glorious golden umbrella that the senior wife will receive in heaven. Have you
ever hear about “golden umbrella” that will rewarded to wife who allows husband to marry
again? Yes of course, I heard it so. In my opinion, that’s only a trick for husband get some
permission to marry more than one wife because in the qur’an and also the hadith there is no
evidence that says that the wife is get some rewarded when she allows her husband to have
polygamy. In one hadith from Abu Hurairah, that the Prophet SAW said:

ِ
‫ت‬
ْ َ‫ َد َخ ل‬،‫ت َب ْع لَ َه ا‬
ْ ‫اع‬
َ َ‫ َو أَط‬،‫ت َف ْر َج َه ا‬
ْ َ‫ص ن‬
َّ ‫ َو َح‬،‫ت َش ْه َر َه ا‬
ْ ‫ام‬
َ ‫ص‬ َ ‫ص لَّ ت ال‬
َ ‫ َو‬،‫ْم ْر أَةُ ُخ ُم َس َه ا‬ َ ‫إِ َذ ا‬
ِ ‫اب الج نَّ ِة ِش ْئ‬
‫ت‬ ِّ ‫ِم ْن أ‬
َ ِ ‫َي أ َْب َو‬

Meaning : "if a woman prays 5 times, fasts in her month (Ramadan), controls her genitals
and obeys her husband, enter him into paradise from any door you want". [History Of Ibn
Hibban, 9/471]. So, in conclusion, there are many more verses of the Qur'an and Al-Hadith
that tell about the advantages of married life and also the relationship between husband and
wife but there is not a single verse of the Qur'an OR Al-Hadith that can confirm about the
golden umbrella as a reward. If a man still insist to polgygamy make sure to be well prepared
about the obligjsasusx to all my wife….

I think that’s all from me, and i will pass back to the Ms Moderator to continue for the next
session.
Ms Moderator: okey next is panel 4, at the first session you tell us about the golden
umbrella right? So, can you explain what are the conditions of polygamy?

Panel 4: Thankyou again Ms Moderator for that question. The question that I always ask my
client is “Are you ready to face a life of polygamy?” Before wanting a polygamy, there are
conditions for polygamy. I don’t judge on people who wanted to perform polygamy , but I
will consult them to make sure they are able to do it correctly. So, the first conditions is they
should limit the number of wives he will marry. Allah said in Surah An-Nisa verse 3 about
polygamy

َ ‫ِّساِۤء َم ْثنٰى َو ُث ٰل‬

‫ث َو ُربٰ َع‬ َ ‫اب لَ ُك ْم ِّم َن الن‬
ِ
َ َ‫فَانْك ُح ْوا َما ط‬
Meanings : "Then marry whomever you like of the (other) women: two, three or four."
(Qur'an, Surah an-Nisa verse 3). These restrictions are also intended to limit men who like so
much to women from doing as they please. Moreover, with the restriction of four wives, it is
hoped that no man does not get a wife or no woman does not get a husband. Maybe if Islam
only allowed two wives, then there would be many unmarried women. If allowed more than
four, perhaps many men do not get wives. The second condition, a husband must be fair to all
wives. Every wife has the right to get her rights from her husband, in the form of intimacy,
alimony in the form of food, clothing, shelter and others that God obligates to every husband.
Fair gives sustenance, in the matter of providing alimony alone, the husband cannot deduct
the alimony of one of his wives on the grounds that the wife is rich or has financial resources,
unless the wife is willing. Fair in providing accommodation, further the scholars have agreed
that the husband is responsible for providing a separate abode for each wife and her children
according to the husband’s ability. So if you can't afford it, marry only one wife. Lastly is fair
by turn, similarly, a wife is entitled to her husband’s turn to stay in her house for the same
period as the time spent in the house of another wife. At least the husband must stay at the
wife's house one night or less. The same goes for the other wives. Even if some of them are in
a state of menstruation, childbirth or illness, the husband should be fair in this matter.
Because, the purpose of marriage in Islam is not merely to ‘have sex’ with the wife on the
night of the turn, but means to perfect the intimacy, love and harmony between the husband
and wife themselves. The last condition is, Does not cause chaos among the wife or children.
So, the husband should be sure that his new marriage will not affect and ruin the lives of his
wife and children. Because, allowing polygamy in Islam is to safeguard the interests of all
parties. If this interest cannot be taken care of properly, then the person who was polygamous
at that time is guilty. I think that's all I can share on the forum for this time and I hope my
point answers the question posed. I will return it to the Ms Moderator to close the forum.
Thank you.