School of Languages & English

Advanced: Reading & Writing

Writing Feedback Cover Sheet 2: FINAL DRAFT

Student
Name: Nguyen Pham Thien An S3818385
number:

Advance Kim Pilger 6/10/2021

Class: Teachers: Date:
Word
501
Count:

Click on the box to ☒ Changes I made after feedback:

cross it
I have used Arial. ☒ Response - ideas ☒
I have used font size 12 ☒ Organisation ☒
I have double spaced ☒ Grammar ☒
Vocabulary ☒

Student self – assessment: Select Good OK or need to improve for each area

Response & Revision Grammar

A full description Click here to select Range of structures Click here to select

Correct sentence
Used teacher Click here to select
structure, subject Click here to select
feedback to improve verb agreement
and punctuation
Structure & Planning Vocabulary
Logically ordered,
cohesive (linking Click here to select New vocabulary Click here to select
words, pronouns)
Made and followed a Click here to select
Spelling & Word Click here to select
plan. Forms

I confirm this is my own work……and I tried my best to fix my own problems to make
me writing skills can be better ………………………………………………
 School of Languages & English
Advanced: Reading & Writing

Name: Nguyen Pham

Thien An
Student Number :
s3818385

Nguyen Hue walking street

Nguyen Hue walking street is the most famous public place in Ho Chi Minh city

where many people come to enjoy the beautiful sight of the city in the main center.

The tallest skyscrapers and huge buildings are remembered by international

tourists when they visit Ho Chi Minh city for the first time. However, many

problems cause controversies, such as traffic jams, air, and noise pollution. This

essay will outline Nguyen Hue walking street and recommend the solutions to

tackle the issues.

Nguyen Hue walking street is located in the heart of Sai Gon is surrounded by

modern shopping malls with stylish designs of well-known brands, fancy bars,

luxurious restaurants, magnificent hotels along the road. Furthermore, The Rex

Hotel brings historic architectural locations to life. Families can learn about the

history of the French colony. The creative performances to serve the visitors, such

as traditional dances, artistic fountains, colorful bright fireworks at night in the

special events in the square.

The walking street has problems with traffic jams, air pollution, and noise

pollution. Solve issues are needed to preserve the environment, quality, and noise
 School of Languages & English
Advanced: Reading & Writing

pollution. Because of lack of parking space, weekday traffic is still happening on

daily days for people are working in the near buildings or the visitors come to play

in the main square that leads to traffic congestion. The amount of waste is

increasing due to street vendors and other people don't have good responsibility to

put the trash into the green recycle bin. Furthermore, there are a few recycle bins

and laborers to clean the street. Many different third places, such as bars,

restaurants open loud music speakers have the attention of travelers that leads to

noise pollution.

The first solution to deal with traffic congestion is to open the parking stations and

more parking spaces in the buildings next to the main square in the walking street.

It will reduce the number of vehicle transportations in the daily days. The second

solution provides cleaning services so there will be more laborers to clean the

street. Watering and planting trees are needed to care by the cleaning service in

the middle square. In addition, the local police at district one will patrol every

afternoon and night. The street vendors and visitors have to be ensured that they

don't put trash underground anymore. The third solution for noise pollution is to

make rules, and monetary fines are needed to stop noise pollution in the third

place when the rules are violated in the third place.

In conclusion, Nguyen Hue walking street is the destination for Vietnamese people

and tourists to visit the attractions view the sight of Ho Chi Minh city with complex

modern and historic architecture buildings. Three solutions are building parking

spaces to prevent traffic jams, provides cleaning services to clean the street and

the policeman patrol at night to protect the environment and monetary fine for third
 School of Languages & English
Advanced: Reading & Writing

places make noise pollution. These recommendations are vital factors to solve the

problems.
Word
s:
501