Unit 4: Relationship with oneself and

with others: Emotional Regulation+ Self-

Management in Children

Self-Management
-The ability to sucessfully regulate one´s emotions, thoughts, and behaviours in
different situations- effectively managing stress, controlling impulses , and motivating
oneself.

 Impulse control
 Stress management
 Self-motivation
-The ability to set and work toward personal and academic goals.

 Self-discipline
 Goal-setting
 Organizational skills
CONTENTS
1 What is emotional regulation and its development
2 Modeling Appropriate, Genuine Emotional Responses
3 Supporting Children´s Regulation of Emotions

1. What is Emotional Regulation and its Development

Noah…
Usually, the 4 years-olds can go right outside to play but today they must wait for the
teachers. Becoming impatient, they break out of line and run around the room.

Noah wants to be the first to get a swing, so he throws on his jacket and hurries to the
head of the line at the door. Then, while waiting, he turns his back to the door so he canot
see the playground and sings a song to himself.

DEFINITION
The ability to succesfully regulate one´s emotions in different situations, effectively
managing stress, controlling impulses, and motivating oneself.
It comes

Through external
From within children influences

EMOTIONAL REGULATION INVOLVES

1) Stop showing innapropiate behaviour related to strong emotions (+ or -) (because we tell
him and he i sable to stop showing a strong emotions)

2) Distract/calm themselves down when they become highly emotionally aroused (useful for
adults)

3) Changing the intensity and duration of one´s emotional responses using coping strategies(
cooping skills-resillence)

4) Coordinate feelings, thoughts and actions to achive goals. Ex : best marks I am able to
coordinate my actions no matter what my feelings are

5) Using emotions to influence other´s emotions-actions (emotions are contagious)

6) Ability for auto-generating positive emotions consciously and voluntarily

7) Follow cultural standars for the display of emotions

YOUR SCORE
ABILITY 10-0
1. I can stop showing inappropiate 8
behaviour related to strong
emotions (+ or -)
2. I can distract/calm myself down if I 7
become highly emotionally aroused
3. I can change the intensity and 7
duration of my emotional
responses
4. I can use my emotions to influence 9
other´s emotions or actions
5. I can auto-generate positive 8
emotions consciously and
voluntarily
6. I can coordinate my feelings, 6
thoughts and actions to achieve my
goals

BENEFITS
1 Children reach the goals they desire

2 Children feel better

3 Children experience mastery

4 Children become more socially competent

5 Children became part of the culture

DEALING WITH EMOTIONS

EMOTIONAL REGULATION

COMES

THROUGH EXTERNAL
FROM WITHIN
ADULT INFLUENCES
CHILDREN

NATURAL STRATEGIES
LEARNING STRATEGIES
MATURATION OF THE BRAIN AND NERVOUS SYSTEM IS CRUCIAL FOR ER
 Pre-school years are critically important in developing emotional regulation

 Maturation of the brain and nervous system allows children to

Inhibit emotional Delay gratification or

expressions impulses

HOW EMOTIONAL REGULATION DEVELOPS IN TIME

1. Overcome for one´s 2. Learn FRUSTATION

emotions. They are TOLERANCE: learn to cope 3. Learn to cannel one´s
not able top ay when one is blocked from frustration in PROBLEM-
attentiom or achieving something. Our SOLVING BEHAVIOUR (NIÑA
interested in anyhing society lacks a lot, that is, EN LAS ESCALERAS)
else inmature society.

BABIES INFANCY

BABIES
-Have instinctual ways of dealing with their emotions
1) Protect themselves from execessive stimulation (disengagement clues)

-turning away

-sucking thums

-breaking eye contact

2) They often need caregivers help whe they have a need and cannot mee ton their own

CRY
 BUT before overly aroused : Soothe them til
they recover
Calm them down to avoid to avoid crying episodes
their equilibrium

Overly aroused babies cry themselves to exhaustion

As babies learn to trust caregivers, they calm down quicker and easier

TODDLERS
 Learn additional ways to regulate their emotions:

To face frustration (changing)

Some of them can find a new goal and subsititute it

TO CALM AND CONTROL THEMSELVES

-SELFTALK

PRE-SCHOOLERS
 They learn
COGNITIVE REFRAMING

Change the interpreatation of an event or situation to find something good in a bad

situation.

COGNITIVE REFRAMING (VIDEO)

IMPULSIVITY:

-STOP

-THINK

-ACT

Brain and Nervous System Maduration allows:

Inhibit emotional expressions

Delay gratification or
+ impulses
Impulse Control (learn to inhibit actions)
 a) Impulse Control
Means learn to inhibit actions

2 Abilities:

Control the speed at

Not to do something
which something is
done

 Certain Brain maduration NOW?

 Time and practice TODAY?

No inhibition means no choice and no planning

b) Delaying Gratification
Sense of Mastery
in children´s lives
• It is a kind of Cognitive Regulation

• This ability emerges around Age 3

Higher SelfEsteem

• It helps to develop

Marshmallow experiment. Mischel, Stanford University

Better Mental
Health

To Help Children Learn to Delay Gratification…

Predictable environment
Learning to put off an inmediate reward for a larger reward later… is only possibe when
children trust the promise of a greater reward

 Keep your promises: You will have 2 sweets if you wait for now
 Reinforce your rules constantly
 2. Modeling Genuine, Appropriate Emotional Responses
Emotional Regulation and Modeling
Emotional Regulation comes

From within children Through external adult

influences

Modeling Emotions

DEFINITION
Modeling is a general process in which persons serve as models for others, exhibiting the
behaviour to be imitated by the others

MODELING: When a particular behaviour is elicited by the observation of similar behaviour in

others

• Important strategy to help children regulate their emotions: to teach them show appropriate
emotional responses

Modeling Emotions
1. Adults as Emotion Models

• Social referencing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_UHkFUzHQA

2. Effects of Adults Emotion Modeling

 Parent´s emotions influence their babies
 Adult´s emotion expression sends children messages at risky situations

Characteristics of Effective Emotion Models

• Be Nurturing

• Use your power to influence children in positive ways

• Similarity: show your children how you are similar to them

Complexities and Difficulties in Emotion Modeling
1. Genuineness:

• Model honest, genuine expression of emotion. Sometimes, it is complex

2. Approppriateness:

• At times, being appropriate means hiding or disguising one’s true feelings

Genuineness vs.Approppriateness

3. Anger Modeling (to help them managing it constructively)

All adults become angry at times when they are with children

Prevent excessive or inappropriate outbursts of anger

1. Identify situations
2. Simplify the
that may trigger
classroom enviroment
excessive anger

Discuss you
If inappropriate anger behaviour with the
occurs anyway, children.

 It provides children a model of how to talk about anger

 Helps to distinguish appropriate // inappropriate expressions of anger

DISCUSSING: An example
 4. Supporting Children’s Regulation of Emotions

1. An Environment For Emotional Regulation

1. Establishing specific Interpersonal Climate:

• Promote good moods and feelings: be generous, help those who are in trouble, etc

• Focus children on other people

• Let them express their feelings and teach them appropriate patterns of expression

2.Promoting Peer Interactions

• Powerful influences on social competence

• Children often less tolerant than adults to unpleasant emotional displays: they refuse to
play with children who lack emotional control

powerful (and painful) incentive to regulate emotions

3.Providing Activities: pretend play, painting, music, etc

2. Self- Regulation Emotional Strategies
1. Suppressing the Expression of Certain emotions

2. Soothing one´s self

3. Seeking comfort

4. Avoiding or ignoring certain events that are emotionally arousing

5. Changing goals that have been frustrated

6. Cognitive Reframing

3. Helping ChidrenTo Cope With STRONG EMOTIONS

1. Acknowledge their strong emotions

2. Comfort children sad or afraid

3. Cognitive Reframing

4. Anticipate to new situations that may cause some children to feel insecure or that could
provoke intense reactions.

5. Give children many opportunities to experience joy, happiness and humor.

6) Restricing sensory inputs. Distractions

7) Watching the coping strategies other children use when they are experiencing strong
emotions ithemselves (anger, fear, anxiety…)

8) Self-talk: “I can do, this” ; “mum will be back soon”, etc

9) Changing their goals

10) Problem solving: “I will learn the way from the entrance to my classrooom”; “I will breathe
3 times before responding”, etc

Helping Children Cope

• Inside out. Riley argues w her parents
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4okAfKCwRk&list=PL2yRU
0zqN4egNbYiqXrl_m2i9uH554CuV

ANALIZE RILEY´S PARENTS ATTITUDE ACCORDING WITH THE PREVIOUS IDEAS. ARE THEY…

• Acknowledging her anger?

• Comforting her?

• Helping her to reframe the situation cognitively?

• Anticipating tomorrow´s day of school?

• ETC
Difficult Times (common situations)
1. When Children Face another Anger:

-Acknowledge the other feeling

- Work withAssertive responses: stand up for one´s rights without losing control

2. When Children Hurt Others’ Feelings

- Prohibiting emotional displays that can hurt others’ feelings help children to be more
sympathetic

3. When Children Are Anxious

- Coping with the fear

- Regulating it

4. When Children have to Wait

-Distraction: avoid thinking what they are waiting for

- Occupying time when they are waiting: games, songs, activities

• SELF TALK: is a strategy in which the person describes what he or she is doing. The adult
provides the words to describe her actions, without expecting the child to respond. Short
sentences

EG: “Now I am writing a ‘W.’ I start here and go down, up, down, and up again. There---a ‘W’.

• PARALLEL TALK: is a technique in which the adult describes what the child is doing or
seeing. Acting like a broadcaster. She watches the action and describes it to the child, without
expecting a response.

EG: “Oh, you put the yellow block on top. The tower is getting taller