Essay

by Joshua Ikwuagwu

Submission date: 20-Sep-2021 08:14PM (UTC-0500)

Submission ID: 1653442454
File name: Peer_Review_Revised.docx (24.5K)
Word count: 1449
Character count: 7329
 Focus on task

Cap. Error

Provide context

Title Format

1 ~

Vague

Paragraph Structure

Title Format
Title Format
Irrelevant
 Missing ","

Move beyond a summary

Conclusion Needs Work

Essay
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

75
Instructor

/100
PAGE 1

QM Focus on task
This section of your essay does not appear to be strongly focused on the task. Reread the
assignment and then revise your writing so that each section of your essay works to
effectively respond to all parts of the task.
Additional Comment

The assignment:

identify a genre and analyze a particular example of that genre-

what are the characteristics of the genre?

what are its rules?

how are these used in the text?

by who?

in what community?

for what purpose?

why?

what patterns do you find

You are not answering any of these questions

QM Cap. Error
Capitalization
QM Provide context
Help familiarize your readers with this historical topic by offering a brief background of the
issue. Add this information to your introduction before the statement of your claim.

QM Title Format
Error in title format: larger works like book titles or magazine or journal or album titles are in
italics, smaller works like articles, short stories, poems are in quotation marks

Comment 1
assignment- analyze a particular post within the blog

not the whole blog itself

QM ~
Transpose

QM ~
Transpose

QM Vague
Unclear: When making a point in one of your body paragraphs, one of the most common
mistakes is to not offer enough details. A paragraph without much detail will seem vague
and sketchy. A paper is always strengthened when your claims are as specific as possible,
The more detailed evidence you offer, the more reference points your reader will have.
Remember that you are communicating your argument to a reader who has only your
description to go by. Someone who reads your essay will not automatically know what you
mean to express, so you have to supply details, to show the reader what you mean, not just
tell him or her.
Additional Comment

give us some details here- weight, appearance, numbers, statistics, etc.

QM Paragraph Structure
Paragraphs need better structure:
main idea, explanation, example, quote, 3 part breakdown/analysis of quote, transition
Additional Comment

these two paragraphs need restructuring- maybe fusing them into one since they seem
connected by providing background

but also need a topic sentence to unify these sentences into one cohesive point that you're
making

QM Title Format
 Error in title format: larger works like book titles or magazine or journal or album titles are in
italics, smaller works like articles, short stories, poems are in quotation marks

PAGE 2

QM Title Format
Error in title format: larger works like book titles or magazine or journal or album titles are in
italics, smaller works like articles, short stories, poems are in quotation marks

PAGE 3

QM Irrelevant
This section does not directly support, explain or illustrate any of the points you are trying to
make or the assignment's objective.
Additional Comment

getting caught up in the issue/debate (content)

ignoring the analysis of genre

PAGE 4

QM Missing ","
Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often
help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a
phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same
sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element.
Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the
following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see,
without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

QM Move beyond a summary

In argumentative essays, you must do more than summarize the source(s) or give an opinion.
Defend your position by explaining how the evidence you chose supports your claim.

QM Conclusion Needs Work

Weak conclusion: This conclusion needs a lot more effort- it seems rushed, like a couple
sentences slapped together to get it over with or a mere restatement of the essay without
anything new. The conclusion should tie together any loose ends and suggest the
implications of the line of thought explored thus far and possibly further avenues of future
research

PAGE 5
RUBRIC: GENRE ANALYSIS 75 / 100

CONTROL. IDEA 15 / 20

ABOVE AVERAGE Text presents a revelatory controlling idea that guides the text, supported with the
(20) use of relevant sub-claims that further the author’s purpose/ intended meaning of
the text.

AVERAGE Text presents a controlling idea, though it may not be revelatory or clear and is
(15) somewhat supported with sub-claims, though some may seem tangential. Text
presents ideas, but the ideas do not further the author’s purpose.

BELOW AVERAGE Text does not present a controlling idea, nor does the text present sub-claims that
(10) are connected to the claim. Author has simply reported information.

DESCRIPTION 15 / 20

ABOVE AVERAGE Text presents a clear understanding of the concept of description. Text also
(20) presents evidence that demonstrates this understanding.

AVERAGE Text presents an understanding of the concept of description, although it is clear

(15) that that the author stumbles to fully comprehend. Text presents some evidence
to demonstrate the understanding.

BELOW AVERAGE Text presents a clear lack of understanding the concept of description and
(10) presents evidence to demonstrate such.

EVIDENCE 15 / 20

ABOVE AVERAGE Text presents evidence in a logical manner and has been chosen based on
(20) relevance to the controlling idea and ability to further the controlling idea/author’s
purpose.

AVERAGE Text presents evidence for the controlling idea, though not all the selected
(15) evidence furthers the author’s purpose or it is unclear how the evidence works to
do so. Some tangents present.

BELOW AVERAGE Text either does not present any evidence for the controlling idea or the evidence
(10) does not further the author’s purpose and is tangential.

ANALYSIS 15 / 20

ABOVE AVERAGE Text presents a clear understanding of the genre used, how to analyze the text,
(20) and the intended audience. Text clearly understands his/her purpose and uses
the genre as such.

AVERAGE Text seems confused about the purpose of the analysis genre, though the purpose
(15) is accomplished. Evidence of a misunderstanding of audience and how the genre
works for the author’s purpose.
BELOW AVERAGE Text does not present a clear understanding of the intention of the analysis genre,
(10) including the conventions required of the audience and purpose of the genre.

GRAMMAR 15 / 20

ABOVE AVERAGE Style and grammar are mostly appropriate for the assigned genre and audience.
(20) Text appears to have benefited from proofreading and editing.

AVERAGE Style and grammar are somewhat appropriate for the assigned genre and
(15) audience. Text appears to have not benefited from proofreading and editing.

BELOW AVERAGE Style and grammar are mostly inappropriate for the assigned genre and audience.
(10) Text appears not to have been proofread or edited.