Video Feedback Analysis

In order to improve effectively, it is vital that you overcome your KEY MISTAKES.
Listen to the feedback carefully, take notes and update your IELTS Advantage
Progress Record. If you haven’t already started a progress record, you can
download one by clicking here.

Make sure you take time and effort to avoid making the same key mistakes again
BEFORE you write your next essay.

In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing,
people feel less safe than ever before.
What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be
taken to solve it?
298 words
Although the grievous crimes are less fewer than previously in many some countries
of in the world, still many people still feel frightened. have a fear in their mind while
going out in public places. The major reasons of this problem are the technological
media and no proper regulation of criminal laws. The vital solutions to this is are
organizing awareness campaigns and also proper regulation of certain laws.
One cause of this problem is the news channels and rapidly growing social media.
News is so exaggerated, which in result effect affects human brains and the viewers
badly. Other Another cause is the that there is no proper follow up of the laws made
by the government. Even though the offense committed by the accused is y may be
major, either often the conviction takes many years or the punishment is very minor.
For example, a survey was conducted in India in 2019, and it was found that 76
people out of 100 still have the a fear of moving out of their houses going out after
7pm-8pm.
One way to overcome this problem is to educate the mob people about their rights by
organizing campaigns in which they would be educated about the rights they are
given. Other Another way is to make a collective appeal to the government so that
the existing laws are changed and also the new laws are implemented for the public.
As seen in New Zealand, where awareness campaigns started in 2018, and it is seen
that within three years, the rate of crimes have reduced and also the mental health of
the people has also improved to a large extent.
In conclusion, even though the major crimes are less fewer than before, but still there
is still a fear that exists in the society. Main reasons are the social news trends and
poor existing laws, and the most practical solution is to organize awareness camps
campaigns and also to change the existing acts laws.
Sample answer
Although cases of serious crimes are decreasing in many parts of the world, people
feel less safe today than previously. The main reasons for this are the increasingly
melodramatic style of crime reporting in the media and people’s memories of
previous crimes, and some ways of overcoming this are for news outlets to report
crime stories in a more neutral way and cover more positive news stories.

The sensational style of crime-reporting in the news nowadays leads to people

feeling less safe. Dramatic crime stories are attention-grabbing, so they dominate the
news, making people feel these crimes are commonplace. Such news coverage also
reminds people of previous crimes that may have been committed. These constant
reminders lead people to fear the possibility of future occurrences. For example, any
reports of violence on the news in Glasgow remind residents of its reputation as a
dangerous city even though the levels of violent crimes nowadays are no worse than
in other cities.

To overcome people’s fears, media outlets should cover crime stories in a more
matter-of-fact manner. Avoiding the use of sensational language would reduce the
fear-mongering that stirs people’s emotions. In addition, more reports on positive
events could help balance people’s views about safety in their area. This could
reduce people’s mistrust of each other and contribute to a greater sense of security.
For instance, a local news story about a lost item being returned to its owner may
help people to stop viewing everyone around them as a potential criminal.
In conclusion, people feel less safe today in spite of decreasing crime levels as a
result of the increase in overly-dramatic media coverage of crimes and people’s
memories of prior criminal activities. To allay the public’s fears, journalists should
stop sensationalising crime stories and share more positive news.

Suggested Resources
(If any of these resources aren’t included in your membership, please contact us.)

● Task Achievement Resources

○ Live Cambridge Practice - join live from Monday to Sunday for
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○ Critical Thinking Course - If you can’t generate or develop ideas, this

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 ○ Band 9 Essay Bank - Here you will find questions and sample
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○ Old Daily Live Lessons - These lessons will give you a deeper insight
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○ Planning Template – If you are struggling to plan essays effectively,

these Planning Templates will help you to do that.
https://share.getcloudapp.com/QwuE6p0x

● Coherence & Cohesion Resources

○ Live Cambridge Practice - These Daily Live Lessons will show you
how each sentence of an essay must logically flow from one to the next.
https://ielts-vip.tribe.so/feed/daily-live-lessons

○ Band 9 Essay Bank - If you are using cohesive devices inaccurately,

you can improve your range and accuracy by learning how they are
used in our band 9 sample answers. To use this resource, go to the VIP
Bonuses of the IELTS Writing Academy.
https://pellacademy.mykajabi.com/library

○ Old Daily Live Lessons - Here you will find additional Coherence and
Cohesions support for both Task 1, Task 2.
https://pellacademy.mykajabi.com/products/old-daily-live-lessons

○ Planning Template – If you are struggling to plan essays effectively,

these Planning Templates will help you to do that.
https://share.getcloudapp.com/QwuE6p0x

● Vocabulary Resources
○ Live Cambridge Practice - In each of these live lessons, our teachers
dedicate time to vocabulary improvement.
https://ielts-vip.tribe.so/feed/daily-live-lessons

○ IELTS Vocabulary Course - This course is a complete guide to

improving vocabulary effectively and efficiently.
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 ○ English Advantage Course - Here you’ll find a variety of vocabulary
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○ Old Daily Live Lessons - Learn more about how to get the most out of
the time you use to improve your vocabulary level.
https://pellacademy.mykajabi.com/products/old-daily-live-lessons

● Grammar Resources
○ Live Cambridge Practice - All grammar points are addressed in these
Daily Live Lessons but we give particular attention to articles and
prepositions as these are often the biggest hurdles for our students.
https://ielts-vip.tribe.so/feed/daily-live-lessons

○ IELTS Grammar Course - If your grammar band score is too low, this
course will explain all the key mistakes made by IELTS candidates and
includes personalised feedback on grammar.
https://pellacademy.mykajabi.com/library

○ English Advantage Course - Here you’ll find a wide variety of

grammar lessons with a particularly heavy focus on articles.
https://pellacademy.mykajabi.com/products/english-advantage-course

○ Old Daily Live Lessons - Here you will find over 40 lessons dedicated
to all aspects of grammar.
https://pellacademy.mykajabi.com/products/old-daily-live-lessons