Hayden Bicknell

Aaaahhh! Monster!
If I were to ask you what a normal human looks like, what comes to mind? Do two eyes
and one nose pop into your mind? Or is it a more abstract concept of people acting as they have
for centuries, how they’re socialized to act? Merriam-Webster defines the process of
socialization as “a process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values,
habits, and attitudes of a society” — it is what makes you who you are today, your music taste,
political beliefs, fashion sense, and more. When we are young we’re taught what’s “right” and
what's “wrong”, “this is how a lady acts, boys don’t cry.” We were also taught the concept of
normal. It’s one of those lessons you learn through trial and error, doing something and being
pushed back because it wasn’t “normal”. I always hated the word normal, because it felt like an
unreachable goal to me, something that’s dangled in front of you as the people who claim to own
it laugh in your face. I have come to believe though, that everyone has their own concept of
normal and that’s definitely not easy. For example, I think it’s normal to acknowledge someone
on school grounds with a tight smile and a nod, but maybe they think I hate them. I go on social
media and see posts that talk about things and I think, “Wait, that's not normal?” Normal has
been molded into something we all hold dear — but the catch happens to be that we all have
different molds.
In the article “How, Exactly, Did We Come Up with What Counts As ‘Normal’?” The
author writes: “Look up normal in any English dictionary and the first definition is ‘usual,
regular, common, typical.’ How did this become something to aspire to?” (Mooney). The words,
normal, unorthodox, regular, and anything in between are used almost daily. Usually, they’re just
a way to separate people. One example is “neurotypical” and “neurodivergent” brains and I’m
not saying that they aren’t different but the fact that we have come up with this false dichotomy
between a "normal" and "non-normal" brain feels absurd. We all have different brains and
different ways they work. Some have smaller ways they differ and some have bigger ways.
Mainstream education teaches in what we consider a “neurotypical” way, but people need
different styles of learning because no two brains are exactly alike. When you only teach in one
style, then you’ll immediately notice the outliers, the “neurodivergent.” But are they really
divergent or just normal in their own way?
There have been times in my life that I’ve felt “normal” was equivalent to how
everybody needs to act and feel. Almost like roles we were all playing in a production. I was
taught mine and memorized others to keep the lines straight. One instance of this that I
remember is when I was really young -- I used to think that my dad acted how a mom should and
my mom acted how a dad should. Dad’s are the ones who are supposed to have less patience and
yell more and mothers are the patient, quite toned ones. I had seen these roles in different places
and thought that my mom and dad had switched personalities! How weird is that! (Of course, I
should have realized that my dad finished law school and lawyers have to have an angel's
patience but a devil's tongue.) The word normal in psychology and psychiatry really means
average or typical, but we too easily think of it as a synonym for how everyone is supposed to
think and feel” (Kozubek). We turned the word normal to be synonymous with the word
stereotype, and we already know stereotypes are harmful.
Stereotypes are harmful because they warp your judgment. You already have an opinion
of someone before you even meet them. You judge someone you’ll never know, and in doing so
disrespect them when they can’t defend themselves. For example, did you know that Cleopatra
may not have been that attractive? Crazy right? Because all we’re shown today is a seductive
young woman with her hair down and gowns that reveal just a tad bit much. Stereotypes about
Hayden Bicknell

females lead us to picture someone with good looks only and no mental capacity to rule. Then
you have the opposite of the spectrum, traditional witches with unimaginable power but they’re
‘ugly’ so no man would ever want them. A witch doesn’t have to play housewife and sit in a
corner and look nice, she is the reason you don’t go into the woods at night and she is proud.
‘But don't be like the witch! Be like the princess who has beauty and undying hospitality and
never cares about her safety, and she ALWAYS gets the happy ending’ because, according to
Chloe Carroll, a Ph.D. researcher at the University of Limerick “How can you get your ‘happily
ever after if you aspire to be like the witch, who tends to be a woman society rejects? In this
case, is the monstrous witch not the liberated one? Though she is persecuted and exiled for her
difference, she doesn’t have to ‘act’ as her gender. Being a witch means she can rage against the
world. We should all aspire to be more like the monstrous witch”(Carroll). Monsters are just
what doesn’t fit the norm in society, it’s never been about them being “bad” just different.
When we create monsters we create the concept of the “other.” We use other beings and
other people to define us. The monsters teach us things about fears that are spurred by
socialization and what is different because we fear what is different. As a child, I might have
been scared of the big bad Frankenstein's monster but I really should have been afraid of why
those big bads were created and who created them. It wasn’t Frankenstein's monster’s fault that
he wasn’t loved, it wasn’t Dracula's fault that he wanted to enjoy the world at night, and it wasn’t
the mummies’ fault that people broke into their tomb and raised them against their will. It’s
never their fault, it’s always ours. In the end, someone has to be taught fear and be socialized by
someone else.
Some would question why I’m writing this as it’s supposed to be about me and my social
identities and all I’ve written is weird, abstract concepts. You might think this doesn’t even relate
to what we’re learning about — but it does. I believe it relies heavily on the looking glass-self
and how we’re punished when we step out of the lines. Bobbie Harro writes about this in the
article entitled “The Cycle of Socialization” explaining that “People who try to contradict the
‘norm’ pay a price for their independent thinking, and people who conform (consciously or
unconsciously) minimally receive the benefit of being left alone for not making waves, such as
acceptance in their designated roles, being considered ‘normal’ or ‘a team player,’ or being
allowed to stay in their places.” (49) For example, if you are closeted and people around you are
all saying “being bisexual is just so unnatural, it’s just biological to only like the opposite
gender,” then society will have you thinking “this is how they will see me if I come out —
unnatural.” For when I step out of the lines by not shaving my legs I feel gross when I look at my
unshaven legs because media and socialization constantly tells me that this is not normal or
natural although it is, it is our human biology. I am always having internal struggles because my
internal thoughts and expressions don’t always follow societal norms.
The kicker to all of this is that no one close to me has ever said any of this to me. I’ve
learned it all through subtleties or random opinions from people around me and on the internet.
An example of this was this youtube video where three women went a month or so without
shaving and discussed it with two other women who normally didn’t shave. Although while
trying to promote positivity the video ultimately looked like the two typical non-shaving women
were weird and weren’t aware of norms. Ultimately the only opinions I should care about are the
people I hold close but unfortunately that’s not how my brain works. It takes in everyone's
opinion (whether they voice it or not), from my best friend of ten years to the person standing in
front of me at Target, and it influences how I feel about myself. I don’t know them, and they
don't know me, but we’ll judge each other nonetheless.
Hayden Bicknell

As you're reading this you may think I want to abolish socialization. I don’t, my point is
that socialization isn’t all bad. Humans are social creatures by nature, we crave to be around
others. So unless we never interact with our children and our children don’t interact with each
other socialization will happen. What we need to do to stop its negative effects is to unlearn them
ourselves, before we pass them on. That’s the key to breaking the harmfulness of socialization.
Because it’s not in our nature to hate someone with a difference they can’t change.
Before I leave you, I’d like to tell you a tiny story about a very famous “monster”:
Medusa. Most tales tell that her beautiful hair was turned into disgusting snakes and that her
once warm eyes were now icy and not any “normal” color an eye should be. But I’ve heard much
more compelling tales, ones where the snake's shedding represents what was torn, her skin now
stone is untouchable and unfeelable, and most importantly her beautiful eyes were now deadly
weapons that could be used against anybody who wasn’t kind. These are called curses and
whenever we cry for her we're told that she knew her oath. But she did follow the oath because
she did not love that god and he did not love her, because if there had been a shred of love that
night we wouldn’t be presented with a “monster” she’d still be “normal”. Because that’s all it
takes, a bit of love and kindness. It’s not some philosophical-open ended-no answer question. It’s
an easy concept, and with this concept in mind, all I ask is that you look at your “monster
qualities” or your “unnatural behaviors” and show a little love to them. You’ll find that they
weren't that scary after all.

Mask Symbolism Explanation:

My Mask is what I’m told to feel about myself, and what others might feel about me. It
shows that inside each of us a monster lives, and that monster represents our deepest flaws.
Every part of my mask is inspired by a classic monster (although one of them isn’t actually one,
it’s just what people call them). The hair on the bottom part of my mask is inspired by monsters
covered in hair. They’re rarely the main characters and are shown as unhygienic. Hair is
completely natural, yet we think of it as something to hide. As a woman, I am told that I need to
shave my legs and armpits because the hair is ‘gross’. The bi flag on my mask represents how
the lgbtqia+ are considered monsters by a multitude of people. They call us ‘sexually devious’
and unnatural. If I hadn’t grown up with such an accepting family, I might have ignored my true
identity. The bandaged part of my mask is inspired by mummies. For the mummy, I did take
some interpretation liberties. In the media, they represent souls coming back and the concept of
death. However, I like to look at it as though the mummy is hiding something. By that definition,
the mummy is a liar, and behind those bandages is something rotten. It shows The green part of
my mask is inspired by Frankenstein’s creation (people say monster, but they don't deserve that).
The creation is described as ghastly. Wherever they went people ran in fear because they were
‘ugly’. The creation was not comfortable in their own body, and most of the time I’m not either.
Because people have shown us that we shouldn’t be. The golden and silver eyes are meant to
represent something powerful. In many tales, character eyes glow colors when they’re using their
power. That’s what I wanted it to look like, the one good thing. The devil horns at the top are
inspired by typical devils. They are cruel but very just. I might not look like it (or maybe I do)
but I’m not a super nice person. I tend to judge people fast and am very snappish. Although I do
have a very large moral compass. The last and final part of my mask is what makes it all tie
together. It is a dowel with the word normal dangling from it. The inspiration for it was
essentially the phrase ‘always five feet in front of me’. I always wanted to make it like dangling
Hayden Bicknell

a carrot in front of a donkey to make it move. The donkey is never gonna get that carrot, but it
won’t stop trying.
Hayden Bicknell

Works Cited

16, Jonathan Mooney

August. “How, Exactly, Did We Come up with What Counts as 'Normal'?” Literary Hub,
12 Aug. 2019, lithub.com/how-exactly-did-we-come-up-with-what-counts-as-normal/.

Carroll, Chloe. “What Monsters Tell Us about the Modern World.” RTE.ie, RTÉ, 25 May
2021,
www.rte.ie/brainstorm/2021/0525/1223784-monster-theory-monsters-society-culture-otheri
ng/.

Harro, Bobbie. “University of Washington.” Cycle of Socialization, 1997,

depts.washington.edu/geograph/diversity/HarroCofS.pdf.

Kozubek, Jim. “What Is ‘Normal," Anyway?” Scientific American Blog Network, Scientific
American, 22 Feb. 2018,
blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/what-is-normal-anyway/.

Michelle, Ronnie. “Monsters among Us.” Medium, Medium, 15 Oct. 2019,

medium.com/@ronniemsm626/monsters-among-us-3872f6e70061.