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Active Listening Response Paper

Tatiana Zarmati

Track D

P 515 Counseling Skills: Process of Psychotherapy I

Matt Fishler,

PhD Oct 31,

2021
 Active Listening Response Paper
The experience of the active listening dyads using the fall process skills was a terrific

learning opportunity for me. The four active listening sessions were completed with three

different acquaintances. Each session brought up unique strengths and weaknesses in myself as a

listener.

The first speaker was a fellow student from our Process of Psychotherapy I class. The

session began with reading a condensed yet comprehensive version of the opening statement

from the Process of Psychotherapy Workbook (Pacifica Graduate Institute, 2021). During

session one, discerning between when to listen and when to comment was a struggle for me.

When I did not comment immediately after the speaker said something, she seemed

uncomfortable with the silence. Allowing the silence and holding space for discomfort to arise

seemed natural to me, but it appeared to make the speaker too uncomfortable. Choosing to

comment on the content to make the speaker more comfortable during these moments is the

route I took.

Session two and four were with the same acquaintance. During these sessions, I noticed

my tendency to “advise and give solutions” (Pacifica Graduate Institute, 2021). The participant

mainly chose to speak about the pain in her body during our session, asking me what to do while

grappling for solutions (L. Orr, personal communication, October 13, 2021). I thought of a few

practical ideas that I thought might help her, for example, I asked if she had gone to see a

particular type of doctor for her issue. This question seemed to soothe her anxiety, although I

was unclear whether I crossed into the detours and tendencies list by giving advice, as subtle as it

was (Pacifica Graduate Institute, 2021).

 This active listening session reminded me of the article, Person Centered vs. Illness

Centered by Mark Ragins, because the influence that the Medical Model had upon this

participant was apparent (Ragins, 2006). Through her concerns, she spoke as if the answers lay

with the doctor or even me, as a therapist in training. The person centered approach teaches us to

empower the client and to regard them as having the answers to their own healing within them

(Ragins, 2006). I thought about the person centered approach as I noticed the participant was

acting as if I might know what was best for her. I attempted to empower her to find the answers

within herself by asking questions like, “do you think your body is trying to tell you something

with this pain?” While unsure whether this question crossed the line into advice giving, it felt

more like a prompt to get the speaker to tune back into their own intrinsic wisdom, rather than

desperately seeking answers outside of themselves. The participant appreciated this question and

seemed inspired to think about her pain as her body’s intelligence communicating with her,

while simultaneously seeking the advice of a doctor.

During my session with the third participant, offering reflective comments on content

came naturally to me, but when it came to commenting on process, finding the right words was

not as easy. The feedback from this participant was that while I offered helpful comments on

what he was saying, he did not feel like any one issue was expanded upon. This is something to

work on in the future. Hopefully with practice attuning to when the process needs to be focused

upon rather than the content will become more apparent.

An experience that occurred while listening to the third participant was remembering that

I am not just listening to the client I see on the surface—but that there is an unconscious mind

connected to the participant. Being attentive to the natural process of the session and hints from

the subconscious mind helped me tap into a deeper dimension of listening. This reminded me of
Treating The Self by Ernest S. Wolf, recalling that in developing psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud

analyzed not only symptoms, but also dreams amongst other unconscious behavior of the psyche

(Wolf, 2002, p. 5). Psychoanalysis was built upon studying the depths of the unconscious mind,

and that was interesting for me to consider during the listening sessions (Wolf, 2002, p. 3). I

found myself meditating upon the question: how can I learn to hear the unconscious mind speak

during the dyads?

When it came to wrapping up with my third participant, informing them when five

minutes were left helped the speaker ease out of the process. I ended by asking my partner if

they had a final thought to share before closing, and then gave them a brief summary of what

was talked about and what key aspects came up for the speaker. Ending the session by asking

what they would be taking away from the session helped to solidify any significant insights that

occurred. For a longer listening session jotting down notes for the summary seems helpful—

there can be a lot to remember when trying to stay present with the speaker.

Using the fall process skills to practice active listening gave me the chance to observe

my own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to holding space for another. By the end of my

four sessions, I felt much more comfortable participating as an active listener, and found myself

trusting the process that occurs when an individual is given the opportunity to share without

judgement. The dyads are an act of service in which listening to someone for thirty minutes is a

gift. The end of each session was met with gratitude, both from me for getting the chance to

witness someone in their authenticity, and from the speaker for getting the chance to feel heard

and seen. Conducting the active listening sessions showed me what a rarity it is to take thirty

minutes to really hear someone, and how healing this experience can be for both parties.
 References

Process of Psychotherapy I, II, & III: CP 515, 516, & 517, 2021-2022 Workbook.

(2021). M.A. Counseling Psychology Program. Pacifica Graduate

Institute. (Located online at

https://elearning.my.pacifica.edu/d2l/le/content

/66446/viewContent/964379/View)

Ragins, M. (2006). Person centered vs. illness centered. (p. 1-9)

http://mhavillage.squarespace.com/writings/

Wolf, E. (2002). Treating the self. (ch. 1-4). The Guilford Press.
 14

For use in Process of Psychotherapy I, II, and III

Student Feedback Worksheet

Name of the Active Listener: Tatiana Zarmati Track: D

The purpose of this form is to help the student gather feedback as to your experience of the 30-minute
session with the student listener. Please answer these questions honestly and mindfully. Please rate
your responses to the following ten questions by circling a number between five and zero, with a "5"
representing "very much" and "0" representing "not at all."

1. Did your partner describe the purpose and structure of this exercise so that it was evident to you?
5 4 3 2 1 0

2. Did you trust that the listener would keep all your information confidential?
5 4 3 2 1 0

3. Did you feel treated with genuineness, compassion, and respect?

5 4 3 2 1 0

4. Did the student provide a safe and contained atmosphere for this exercise?
5 4 3 2 1 0

5. Do you feel that the student listened to you?

5 4 3 2 1 0

6. Did the student seem to understand what you were talking about?
5 4 3 2 1 0

7. Did you experience the absence of judging, advice-giving, or directing?

5 4 3 2 1 0

8. Did the student help you focus on any themes in your life, either past or present?
5
4 3 2 1 0

9. Were your thoughts and feelings respectfully acknowledged?

5 4 3 2 1 0

10. Did the student refrain from interfering with your process of sharing?
5 4 3 2 1 0

Important: For a student to become a competent LMFT or LPCC, it is necessary to receive

meaningful feedback. Please take a moment to give comments about your experience in this
listening session. Please feel free to use the back of this worksheet:
 For use in Process of Psychotherapy I, II, and III
Student Feedback Worksheet

Name of the Active Listener: Tatiana Zarmati Track: D

The purpose of this form is to help the student gather feedback as to your experience of the 30-minute
session with the student listener. Please answer these questions honestly and mindfully. Please rate
your responses to the following ten questions by circling a number between five and zero, with a "5"
representing "very much" and "0" representing "not at all."

1. Did your partner describe the purpose and structure of this exercise so that it was evident to you?
4
5 3 2 1 0

2. Did you trust that the listener would keep all your information confidential?
5 4 3 2 1 0

3. Did you feel treated with genuineness, compassion, and respect?

5 4 3 2 1 0

4. Did the student provide a safe and contained atmosphere for this exercise?
5 4 3 2 1 0

5. Do you feel that the student listened to you?

5 4 3 2 1 0

6. Did the student seem to understand what you were talking about?
5 4 3 2 1 0

7. Did you experience the absence of judging, advice-giving, or directing?

5 4 3 2 1 0

8. Did the student help you focus on any themes in your life, either past or present?
5
4 3 2 1 0

9. Were your thoughts and feelings respectfully acknowledged?

5 4 3 2 1 0

10. Did the student refrain from interfering with your process of sharing?
5 4 3 2 1 0

Important: For a student to become a competent LMFT or LPCC, it is necessary to receive

meaningful feedback. Please take a moment to give comments about your experience in this
listening session. Please feel free to use the back of this worksheet:
 For use in Process of Psychotherapy I, II, and III
Student Feedback Worksheet

Name of the Active Listener: Tatiana Zarmati Track: D

The purpose of this form is to help the student gather feedback as to your experience of the 30-minute
session with the student listener. Please answer these questions honestly and mindfully. Please rate
your responses to the following ten questions by circling a number between five and zero, with a "5"
representing "very much" and "0" representing "not at all."

1. Did your partner describe the purpose and structure of this exercise so that it was evident to you?

5 4 3 2 1 0

2. Did you trust that the listener would keep all your information confidential?
5 4 3 2 1 0

3. Did you feel treated with genuineness, compassion, and respect?

5 4 3 2 1 0

4. Did the student provide a safe and contained atmosphere for this exercise?
5 4 3 2 1 0

5. Do you feel that the student listened to you?

5 4 3 2 1 0

6. Did the student seem to understand what you were talking about?
5 4 3 2 1 0

7. Did you experience the absence of judging, advice-giving, or directing?

5 4 3 2 1 0

8. Did the student help you focus on any themes in your life, either past or present?

5 4 3 2 1 0

9. Were your thoughts and feelings respectfully acknowledged?

5 4 3 2 1 0

10. Did the student refrain from interfering with your process of sharing?
5 4 3 2 1 0

Important: For a student to become a competent LMFT or LPCC, it is necessary to receive

meaningful feedback. Please take a moment to give comments about your experience in this
listening session. Please feel free to use the back of this worksheet:
 For use in Process of Psychotherapy I, II, and III
Student Feedback Worksheet

Name of the Active Listener: Track: D

The purpose of this form is to help the student gather feedback as to your experience of the 30-minute
session with the student listener. Please answer these questions honestly and mindfully. Please rate
your responses to the following ten questions by circling a number between five and zero, with a "5"
representing "very much" and "0" representing "not at all."

1. Did your partner describe the purpose and structure of this exercise so that it was evident to you?

5 4 3 2 1 0

2. Did you trust that the listener would keep all your information confidential?

5 4 3 2 1 0

3. Did you feel treated with genuineness, compassion, and respect?

5 4 3 2 1 0

4. Did the student provide a safe and contained atmosphere for this exercise?

5 4 3 2 1 0

5. Do you feel that the student listened to you?

5 4 3 2 1 0

6. Did the student seem to understand what you were talking about?

5 4 3 2 1 0

7. Did you experience the absence of judging, advice-giving, or directing?

5 4 3 2 1 0

8. Did the student help you focus on any themes in your life, either past or present?

5 4 3 2 1 0

9. Were your thoughts and feelings respectfully acknowledged?

5 4 3 2 1 0

10. Did the student refrain from interfering with your process of sharing?

5 4 3 2 1 0

Important: For a student to become a competent LMFT or LPCC, it is necessary to receive

meaningful feedback. Please take a moment to give comments about your experience in this
listening session. Please feel free to use the back of this worksheet: