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Writing clear paragraphs

Introduction
The paragraph is one of the key structural elements in most forms of writing. Like a building block, it is
usually one of many which, put together, form the whole. Yet it is also an entity in itself, with its own internal
structure.

A well written paragraph will convey your ideas, the relationships between them, and your line of reasoning
clearly, while a poorly structured paragraph can obscure your meaning and confuse your reader.

This tutorial introduces the elements of a paragraph and shows how they contribute to the construction of a
coherent piece of writing.

The tutorial will cover:

Paragraph purpose
Paragraph structure
Topic sentences
Supporting sentences
Paragraph cohesion
Concluding sentences
Paragraph purpose
In any essay or assignment you are likely to have several points to make or ideas to discuss. You will both
present information and explain how your thinking developed to reach a particular conclusion. Paragraphs
are used to organise this information so that your reader can easily follow your thought processes and the
relationship of one topic to another.

Each paragraph therefore has a specific function within the overall aim of the piece of writing. It may serve to
describe a topic, explain a concept, analyse findings, support or refute a contention, qualify a claim, evaluate
a study, compare or contrast information.

When that purpose has been achieved and you move on to your next point, you generally begin a new
paragraph.

Activity

Read the following paragraphs and Identify the key purpose of each from the options given.
 Paragraph 1
Rococo was a style of art that followed on from the Baroque period in the early
eighteenth century. The artists of this style typically depicted themes of "love,
artfully and archly pursued through erotic frivolity and playful intrigue".1 Both the
art and interior design of the time displayed a sense of rhythm in which
"everything seemed organic, growing, and in motion, an ultimate refinement of
illusion".2

 Present an argument or viewpoint

 Support a claim

 Describe a topic

 Check 

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Paragraph structure
Play the video below to learn about paragraph structure.
Building a paragraph

Tip

Just as with a burger, you need the 'buns' (the topic and concluding sentences) of your paragraph
to hold it together. You also need 'fillings' (supporting sentences) to develop the theme. But be
careful; if you fill your paragraph with too many 'fillings' it may fall apart.
Most academic writing is structured in paragraphs. Paragraphs break up what could otherwise be very dense
text, which is tiring to read, but their main function is to help the reader follow the development of ideas.

You were probably taught that a paragraph should contain one main idea, and that you should begin each
new or contrasting idea in a new paragraph. This is a good rule of thumb, but it is not always straightforward
to apply.

The following paragraph is from a student teacher’s reflection on her observations during a teaching
placement.

I noticed that when poorer students worked in groups they seemed to be more
enthusiastic and willing to contribute to finding a solution to the maths questions. In
contrast, when they worked alone, they needed much encouragement. One student
frequently turned to me for help, and was reluctant for me to leave her. She would
ask me to give her the answers, rather than show her how to work through the
problem. The confidence a student feels can be understood in terms of 'locus of
control'. According to Rotter (1966) motivation is increased when a person has an
'internal locus of control', that is, when the person perceives outcomes to be a result
of their own abilities. However, he argues that when a person feels that outcomes
are a result of external forces, or experiences an 'external locus of control', they will
be less motivated. When working in groups, these students demonstrated an
'internal locus of control'. They were more willing to try and work through maths
concepts in order to contribute when working in groups. They developed an
understanding of maths concepts more easily and readily than when working alone.
Good teaching then involves creating conditions where students can develop this
'internal locus of control'.

In one way, this paragraph works because it is all about the writer’s reflection on her observation; the
students’ behaviour, the relevant theory, and the conclusion she drew. However, it could also have been
presented like this:

Sample paragraphs Comments

This paragraph describes

I noticed that when poorer students worked in the students’ behaviour
groups they seemed to be more enthusiastic and
willing to contribute to finding a solution to the
maths questions. In contrast, when they worked
alone, they needed much encouragement. One This paragraph explains
student frequently turned to me for help, and was the relevant theory
Sample paragraphs Comments

reluctant for me to leave her. She would ask me to

give her the answers, rather than show her how to This paragraph analyses
work through the problem. the students’ behaviour in
relation to the theory
The confidence a student feels can be understood in
terms of 'locus of control'. According to Rotter
(1966) motivation is increased when a person has
an 'internal locus of control', that is, when the
person perceives outcomes to be a result of their
own abilities. However, he argues that when a
person feels that outcomes are a result of external
forces, or experiences an 'external locus of control',
they will be less motivated.

When working in groups, these students

demonstrated an 'internal locus of control'. They
were more willing to try and work through maths
concepts in order to contribute when working in
groups. They developed an understanding of maths
concepts more easily and readily than when
working alone. Good teaching then involves
creating conditions where students can develop this
'internal locus of control'.
Tips

Paragraph length

Whenever you feel you have ‘completed’ a point, begin a new paragraph.
If a paragraph fills most of the length of an A4 page it is likely covering more than one key
point, and should be broken up. Look for a suitable place to create a break, such as a shift
to a another aspect of the topic. If you really can’t find one, leave it as it is.
In academic writing you may have the occasional very short paragraph, but if you have
several in a row, you probably need to restructure your assignment.
Activity

The following paragraph is from an essay comparing and contrasting two eighteenth century
artistic periods. Identify where a paragraph break is needed.
Click the number after the sentence where you think the paragraph break should
be.

The Rococo style of art typically depicted themes of " love , artfully and archly
pursued through erotic frivolity and playful intrigue ". [ 1 ] Both the art and interior
design of the time displayed a sense of rhythm in which "[ e]verything seemed
organic , growing , and in motion , an ultimate refinement of illusion ". [ 2 ] The artists
of this period were also starting to express their feelings about the themes of
their work , with some works edging toward the ideals of Romanticism , which
flourished at the other end of the century . [ 3 ] The Romantic style was a revolt
against the sober restraint of the Enlightenment period that had preceded it . [ 4 ] It
encompassed the " desire for freedom - not only political freedom but also
freedom of thought , of feeling , of action , of worship , of speech and of taste ”. [ 5 ]
Artists wanted only to produce pure , truthful art that was " based on the
predominance of feeling and imagination ."

 Check
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Topic sentences
The topic sentence is like a mini introduction: it tells the reader what the paragraph is about. In academic
writing it is usually, though not always, the first sentence.

A simple topic sentence performs two essential functions:

1 It establishes the topic of the paragraph.

2 It sets up the reader’s expectations regarding the aspect of the topic to be developed in the paragraph.

Compare these two topic sentences:

A. Gold has long been valued for its beauty.

B. While gold is well-known for its decorative functions, it also has a range of
industrial uses.

It is clear that ‘gold’ is the topic of both paragraphs. After reading sentence A we might expect the paragraph
to review the history of gold as a decorative metal. After reading sentence B, we would expect to learn about
its industrial uses.

In long pieces of writing topic sentences can be quite complex as they also play a role in marking the
transition from one aspect of a topic to another, or even to a completely new topic.

Look at the topic sentences below.

Topic sentences Purposes

introduces a
Jessop et al (2014), however, do not agree that such behaviour
contrasting
is related to trauma. view
 Topic sentences Purposes

introduces
Similarly, residents at a rural aged care facility also found that
supporting
their concerns were taken more seriously when meetings evidence
with management were conducted formally.

marks the
The 25 participants who had given negative feedback were
move to the
then asked to reflect on what they themselves would have next step in a
done differently given another opportunity. process

narrows the
Biofiltration is increasingly being used to reduce nutrients in
topic
urban stormwater discharge to receiving waters.

A quick reading of the topic sentence of each paragraph should reveal the gist of the whole assignment.
Activity

Below are the topic sentences from a first year Criminology essay. Read them in order then
answer the question below.

1 Police culture has often been described as the biggest impediment to

police accountability.  
2 Police culture is passed down from senior to junior officers, based not on
policing theory but first-hand experience.
3 Perhaps the most criticised aspect of police culture is the ‘Code of
Silence’.   
4 Further contributing to the hindrance of accountability is the culture of
cynicism and pessimism.  
5 Australia has several rigid and independent accountability and integrity
mechanisms in place that act to reduce the influence of police culture on
accountability (Hoque et al., 2004).  
6 These bodies are part of a ‘new accountability’ favouring ‘external
oversight’ over ‘centralised control’ (Chan, 1999, p. 251).  
7 Another accountability mechanism is seen in the form of inquests and
inquiries.
8 A major reform aimed at enhancing police accountability has been the
introduction of community-based policing.  
9 While some progress has been made, it can be concluded that police
culture remains a major impediment to police accountability.
 Which title best fits this essay?

 The use of mechanisms to control police culture

 The effect of police culture on accountability

 Accountability in modern policing

 Check 

English readers expect to discover the point of a piece of writing soon after they begin reading. This is true
also of paragraphs within a longer piece of writing. The topic sentence is therefore usually the first sentence
in a paragraph.

While there can be exceptions, for example, when the first sentence has a linking function, the topic sentence
should always appear near the beginning, particularly in academic writing.

Now that you have seen what a topic sentence looks like, locate the topic sentences in the following
paragraphs.
 Activity

Click on the topic sentence in the following paragraphs.

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Supporting sentences
Supporting sentences develop or elaborate on the point introduced in the topic sentence. They can perform a
variety of different functions, depending on the purpose of the paragraph. Click on the headings below to
learn more.

Analyse

The paragraph provides evidence to show how you have arrived at the claim made in the topic sentence.

Concur

The paragraph explains why you agree with another scholar’s idea.

Define

The paragraph defines a key term or concept introduced in the topic sentence.

Describe
 The paragraph builds up a detailed picture of the topic (concept, object, process, phenomenon, location
etc).

Evaluate

The paragraph assesses the strengths and weaknesses of a claim, argument, hypothesis or method.

Explain

The paragraph may explain the topic in detail or provide the reasons for a claim.

Negate or refute

The paragraph argues that another scholar’s idea, or a previously held belief, is incorrect.

Qualify

The paragraph indicates the scope of a claim or limitations to the evidence for it.

Summarise

The paragraph draws together the key points previously discussed.

The paragraph below describes and explains a type of behaviour observed by an education student on a
teaching placement.

The writer:

1 describes the students’ behaviour

2 analyses the behaviour with reference to the relevant literature
3 draws a conclusion about the reason for the behaviour.

Click on each tab and follow the instruction.

Task 1

Activity

Read the paragraph. Click on the supporting sentences that describe the students’
behaviour.

I noticed that when poorer students worked in groups they seemed

to be more enthusiastic and willing to contribute to finding a solution
to the maths questions. In contrast, when they worked alone, they
needed much encouragement. One student frequently turned to me
for help, and was reluctant for me to leave her. She would ask me to
give her the answers, rather than show her how to work through the
problem. The confidence a student feels can be understood in terms
of 'locus of control'. According to Rotter (1966) motivation is
increased when a person has an 'internal locus of control', that is,
when the person perceives outcomes to be a result of their own
abilities. However, he argues that when a person feels that outcomes
are a result of external forces, or experiences an 'external locus of
control', they will be less motivated. When working in groups, these
students demonstrated an 'internal locus of control'. They were more
willing to try and work through maths concepts in order to
contribute when working in groups. They developed an
 understanding of maths concepts more easily and readily than when
working alone. Good teaching then involves creating conditions
where students can develop this 'internal locus of control'.

Sentences found: 0 of 4
Task 2

Activity

This time click on the supporting sentences that explain concepts from the literature.

I noticed that when poorer students worked in groups they seemed

to be more enthusiastic and willing to contribute to finding a solution
to the maths questions. In contrast, when they worked alone, they
needed much encouragement. One student frequently turned to me
for help, and was reluctant for me to leave her. She would ask me to
give her the answers, rather than show her how to work through the
problem. The confidence a student feels can be understood in terms
of 'locus of control'. According to Rotter (1966) motivation is
increased when a person has an 'internal locus of control', that is,
when the person perceives outcomes to be a result of their own
abilities. However, he argues that when a person feels that outcomes
are a result of external forces, or experiences an 'external locus of
control', they will be less motivated. When working in groups, these
students demonstrated an 'internal locus of control'. They were more
willing to try and work through maths concepts in order to
contribute when working in groups. They developed an
understanding of maths concepts more easily and readily than when
working alone. Good teaching then involves creating conditions
where students can develop this 'internal locus of control'.
Sentences found: 0 of 3
Task 3

Activity

This time, click on the supporting sentences that analyse the students’ behaviour with
reference to the literature.

I noticed that when poorer students worked in groups they seemed

to be more enthusiastic and willing to contribute to finding a solution
to the maths questions. In contrast, when they worked alone, they
needed much encouragement. One student frequently turned to me
for help, and was reluctant for me to leave her. She would ask me to
give her the answers, rather than show her how to work through the
problem. The confidence a student feels can be understood in terms
of 'locus of control'. According to Rotter (1966) motivation is
increased when a person has an 'internal locus of control', that is,
when the person perceives outcomes to be a result of their own
abilities. However, he argues that when a person feels that outcomes
are a result of external forces, or experiences an 'external locus of
control', they will be less motivated. When working in groups, these
students demonstrated an 'internal locus of control'. They were more
willing to try and work through maths concepts in order to
contribute when working in groups. They developed an
 understanding of maths concepts more easily and readily than when
working alone. Good teaching then involves creating conditions
where students can develop this 'internal locus of control'.

Sentences found: 0 of 3

Conclusion

The final sentence sums up the conclusion drawn by the writer.

I noticed that when poorer students worked in groups they seemed to be more
enthusiastic and willing to contribute to finding a solution to the maths
questions. In contrast, when they worked alone, they needed much
encouragement. One student frequently turned to me for help, and was
reluctant for me to leave her. She would ask me to give her the answers, rather
than show her how to work through the problem. The confidence a student
feels can be understood in terms of 'locus of control'. According to Rotter (1966)
motivation is increased when a person has an 'internal locus of control', that is,
when the person perceives outcomes to be a result of their own abilities.
However, he argues that when a person feels that outcomes are a result of
external forces, or experiences an 'external locus of control', they will be less
motivated. When working in groups, these students demonstrated an 'internal
locus of control'. They were more willing to try and work through maths
concepts in order to contribute when working in groups. They developed an
understanding of maths concepts more easily and readily than when working
alone. Good teaching then involves creating conditions where students can
develop this 'internal locus of control'.

No content

No content

If you are writing about observed experiment results, you might need to:

Explain the expected outcome

Compare the existing theory with your results
Explain the cause of the difference
Specify experiment conditions
Offer an alternative explanation
Activity

The following paragraph reports on the unexpected results of a biology experiment.

1 Read the paragraph and click on the supporting sentences that attempt to explain the
outcome of the experiment.
2 Read the paragraph again and click on the supporting sentences that qualify the claims
made.

It was expected that our study would show a far higher rate of
decomposition in the shore zone, where there are more chances for
sediments to rub against the leaves. However the two zones show no
significant difference in leaf breakdown, although these results are non-
conclusive due to the limitations of this experiment. The two zones of leaf
decomposition were physically too close and over the incubation period,
reeds were observed growing close to the limnetic zone. This may have
negatively affected the accuracy of the results by reducing the differences
in habitat at these sites as seen in other experiments (Jones et al. 1981).
Our results also had large standard deviations, possibly due to these
physical constraints or human error in weighing leaves. Further studies
 with more diverse zones and precise procedures should be undertaken in
order to explore leaf decomposition and rates of energy transfer more
effectively.

Tip

When revising your drafts, for each sentence ask yourself:

How does this sentence contribute to the purpose of the paragraph as stated in the topic sentence?

If you cannot answer this question, you may have digressed from the point of the paragraph.

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Paragraph cohesion
The cohesion of a paragraph depends largely on the order in which the ideas are presented. This is especially
true in introductory paragraphs, which should begin with the broadest statement about the topic and narrow
to the specific topic to be addressed. Look at this paragraph, which introduces an essay on the potential of
garlic to treat cancer. Can you identify the topic sentence?
Garlic has been shown to reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease (Aboul-Enein
and Aboul-Enein, 2005), and possess anti-microbial (Sivam, 2001) and antioxidant
properties (Imai et al., 1994). This essay will explore research into garlic's potential
roles in reducing cancer risk and in treating cancer. Garlic (Allium sativum L.) has
been used for centuries for medicinal purposes. Its use for healing purposes can be
traced back as far as 1550BC when documentations of its therapeutic use first
appear in Egypt (Hassan, 2003; Rivlin, 2001). In modern times belief in the beneficial
effects of garlic on health has led to it being used for a number of conditions.

Activity

The topic sentence has now been placed at the beginning of the paragraph (sentence 1).
Rearrange the order of the other sentences to improve the cohesion of the paragraph. Drag and
drop each sentence into position.

Hint: Make sure the paragraphs flow from general to specific, and distant to recent.
 Sentence 1
 
Garlic (Allium sativum L.) has been used for
centuries for medicinal purposes.

Sentence 2

Garlic has been shown to reduce the risk of

cardiovascular disease (Aboul-Enein and Aboul-Enein,
2005), and possess anti-microbial (Sivam, 2001) and
antioxidant properties (Imai et al., 1994).
Sentence 3

This essay will explore research into garlic's potential

roles in reducing cancer risk and in treating cancer.

Sentence 4

Its use in healing can be traced back as far as 1550BC

when documentations of its therapeutic use first appear
in Egypt (Hassan, 2003; Rivlin, 2001).

Sentence 5

In modern times belief in the beneficial effects of garlic

on health has led to it being used for a number of
conditions.

 Check

Just as the connection between the topic sentence and the supporting sentences in a paragraph must be
clear, so must the connections between the sentences themselves be clear. Otherwise the paragraph can
appear disjointed or even incoherent.

This is achieved by use of the following:

Repetition

One way a writer can link sentences in a paragraph is by simply repeating a keyword, but it is important
not to use this device too often.

Pronouns and determiners

Writers often make links between sentences in a paragraph by replacing the repeated use of the main
noun with pronouns such as 'it'.

Synonyms

Another technique is to use words with similar meanings (synonyms) in the paragraph. This is a way of
making links between sentences without using too much repetition.

Connected words

To make connections between sentences words do not have to be exact synonyms. Sometimes a writer
will use words which belong together.
Signposting

Signposts such as 'for example', 'however' or 'alternatively' indicate the meaning relationship between (or
within) sentences. They tell the reader how to interpret the information presented.

Activity

Click on the linking methods listed to see examples of how they are used to maintain cohesion in
this paragraph.

Pronouns Repetition Synonym Connected words Signposts

The artworks discussed in this essay share obvious similarities. Both

works are full-length portraits of performers in their performing
environments. In Watteau's L'Indifferent, there is a sense of the dancer
posing for the portrait in the festive manner characteristic of the Rococo
period. In contrast, in Delacroix's Paganini the violinist seems to carry
himself with more intrinsic purpose, perhaps enacting a more truthful
value typical of the Romantic ideal. There is, nevertheless, a similarity in
the two poses that suggests motion, as both performers seem to be caught
 in mid movement. This dynamic quality was not typical of the other art
movements prior to or during the 18th century, where portraits tended to
depict people in staid, sober poses.

Check your own paragraphs. Does each sentence support the purpose of the paragraph as expressed in the
topic sentence? Does the paragraph flow logically and coherently?

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Concluding sentence
Not every paragraph needs a concluding sentence. When used, concluding sentences indicate that the topic -
or an aspect of the topic - is complete. They can do this by performing one of the following functions:

summing up the key point/s of a long paragraph

drawing a conclusion based on the information presented in the paragraph
reinforcing the relationship of the paragraph content to the overall aim of the piece of writing
transitioning to the next paragraph

There is usually a variety of ways to conclude a paragraph. Your choice will depend on what you want the
concluding sentence to do - its function.

Here is a paragraph with three possible concluding sentences, each of which performs a different function.

Despite the wide availability of information on the harmful effects of alcohol on the
developing foetus, many western women continue to drink even after learning that
they are pregnant. In the USA, approximately 7.6% of pregnant women admitted to
drinking during pregnancy [12], while in Canada, approximately 15% of pregnant
women consume alcohol [13]. French figures show that up to 47% of women drank
alcohol while pregnant [14], and similar results have been seen in Australia [15].

Possible concluding sentences include:

Purposes Concluding sentences

 Purposes Concluding sentences

Drawing a
These figures suggest that factors other than knowledge are at
conclusion
play.

Summing up
While the proportions of women drinking during pregnancy
vary widely from country to country, this is clearly not an
isolated phenomenon.

Transitioning
However, the situation is noticeably different in Asia.
to next topic

The relationship between the concluding sentence and the topic sentence should always be clear. If you
cannot trace the development of the theme between them, you may have digressed from the original purpose
of the paragraph.
 Activity

When a concluding sentence performs a linking function, it is important to ensure that it creates
a semantic link to each of the paragraphs it connects. Look at the paragraph below. Which of the
two concluding sentence options forms the better link to the next paragraph, which is about
media influence in remote areas?

It cannot be doubted that the media profoundly influence people's attitudes and
outlooks. They convey a wide variety of information which individuals would
likely not otherwise acquire. Newspapers, books, television, radio, films, recorded
music and magazines bring individuals into close contact with experiences of
which we 'would otherwise have little awareness' (Giddens, 1989, p. 79).  

 This is observable nowadays even in more isolated and traditional societies.

 There are very few societies nowadays, even among isolated or traditional cultures,
which remain untouched by the mass media.

 Check

Paragraph structure is important in ensuring that your meaning and thought processes are clear to the
reader. The topic sentence introduces your point, the supporting sentences develop the point by providing
evidence, explanation or examples, and the concluding sentence, where used, helps connect your point to
your overall argument. Every sentence should serve a clear purpose in relation to the topic sentence.

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Writing clearly, concisely and precisely

At university it is important to convey your meaning with absolute clarity, in a way that will be understood by
any reader, regardless of whether or not English is their first language. This tutorial will explore how to write
clearly, concisely and precisely. It will also look at how your choice of tense impacts on your meaning.

This tutorial will cover:

Writing clearly
Writing concisely
Writing precisely

As you go through, there will be places where you can click to reveal more information as well as undertake
activities to check your understanding.

How to write clearly

At university it is important that your readers - in particular your markers - can easily understand your
meaning and follow your line of reasoning. Click on the headings below for some helpful hints.

Explain terminology and jargon

Explain any concepts or terminology you think may not be familiar to the reader – or which they may not
necessarily know you know. This is particularly important when your understanding of an idea or word
might differ from your reader’s, such as when a common word has a specialised meaning in a particular
discipline, for example:

From a first-year architecture assignment discussing the design of a public building:

However, we need to look to the middle east to find the building’s precedents; i.e. the buildings that have
influenced its design.

From a management report:

The employees suffer from a lack of motivation. Motivation is the willingness to exert high levels of effort to
reach organisational goals, conditioned by the efforts to satisfy some individual need (Robbins, Bergman,
Stagg and Coulter, 2000, p.549).

Don’t leave your reader wondering what you are talking about.

Define abbreviations

Acronyms (the initial letters of a phrase or title and pronounced as a word (e.g. TAFE) and initialisms
(when the first letters of each word are spelled out (e.g. ECG) should always be defined at the first use.
When the term is first used write it in full followed by the abbreviation in round brackets. Thereafter, use
the abbreviation. For example:

The World Health Organisation (WHO) is affiliated with the United Nations (UN). The UN provides funds
which help the WHO perform its role effectively.

The following types of abbreviation do not need to be explained at first use:

Titles such as Dr. (doctor)

Address elements such as St. (Street) or TAS (Tasmania)
Latin abbreviations such as am and pm (morning and afternoon); BC or AD (before Christ or after
Christ); e.g (for example) and i.e (that is)
Length and weight terms such as km (kilometers),  or oz (ounces)
Scientific abbreviations such as CO2 (carbon dioxide), MHz (megahertz) or V (volts)

Never abbreviate individual words (e.g. write department, never dept.).

Use simple words where possible

It is important to use precise vocabulary and correct terminology, but there is no need to use ‘big words’
for their own sake. Text filled with long, obscure or overly formal words take longer for a reader to
decode and can sound pompous or stilted.

Example:

The manager is deficient in interpersonal skills and invests minimal time in assisting the clerks to develop
their expertise.

The manager lacks interpersonal skills and spends little time helping the clerks develop their skills.

Use active voice where possible

Generally, the active voice, in which the subject carries out the action, is ‘lighter’ than the passive voice, in
which the subject is affected by the action.

Compare the following examples:

Passive: Coral reefs can be damaged by rapid and substantial climatic changes.
Active: Rapid and substantial climatic changes can damage coral reefs.

Although the difference is small, the variation in emphasis changes the perspective of the sentence. In
the passive construction, the focus is on the reefs, while in the active version climatic changes are the
focus. You need to keep this in mind when choosing between active and passive voices.

Passive voice can be used:

When the actor is unknown or not important: For example: The proposal was approved; The novel
Jane Eyre has been taught in many classrooms.
To avoid naming the actor: Sometimes it is tactful to avoid naming the actor. For example: The
results of this study have been misinterpreted is less confronting than: The authors of this study
have misinterpreted their results.

Check for ambiguity

Sometimes we inadvertently write sentences that can be interpreted in more than one way. Look at this
excerpt from an essay on the Fourth Crusade:

The Crusaders planned to sail to Jerusalem via Egypt. However, during a sojourn in Venice, the Byzantine
Emperor persuaded them to turn their attention to Constantinople.

Was it the Crusaders sojourning in Venice, or the Byzantine Emperor?

Activity

Read the following pairs of text. Click on the clearer text of each pair.

From an essay on extra-solar planet systems:

 A. Extra-solar planet systems can be formed in two ways. In the first, a

terrestrial mass planet forms in the inner disk, while a gas giant forms beyond
the snow line. During the inward migration of the gas giant, the terrestrial
planet is captured in a mean motion resonance where it remains until migration
ceases. In the second, a gas giant can migrate through a disk of planetismals
(minute planets). This results in mean motion resonances with the gas giant
sweeping through the disk of planetismals, causing material to be either
scattered out of the system or captured into these resonances.

 B. Extra-solar planet systems can be formed in two ways; the first is when a
terrestrial mass planet forms in the inner disk, while a gas giant forms beyond
the snow line, causing the terrestrial planet to be captured in a mean motion
resonance during the inward migration of the gas giant where it remains until
migration ceases. Alternatively, a gas giant can migrate through a disk of
l ti l lti i ti ith th i t
 planetismals, resulting in mean motion resonances with the gas giant
sweeping through the disk of planetismals, causing material to be either
scattered out of the system or captured into these resonances.

 Check 


 Activity

Try applying the strategies presented in this module to your own writing. Re-read a current or
past assignment and highlight the parts that could be rewritten more clearly.

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How to write concisely

Academic writing should be concise; that is, you should use no more words than necessary to convey your
meaning clearly. In some cases, the more words you include, the harder it is for the reader to extract your
meaning. Most of us use far more words than necessary in a first draft; achieving concise writing usually
requires several revisions.

While this can take time, it will give your writing more impact - and also help you stay within the assignment
word limit. Click on the headings below to learn more.

Stay on topic

As you revise your work, check that the content of each sentence is both relevant and necessary. Ask
yourself, ‘How does this information contribute to the development of the paragraph as expressed in the
topic sentence?’ If it does not serve a useful purpose, or adds unnecessary detail, remove it.
Avoid wordy verbs

Be careful with verbs such as conduct, perform, carry out, undertake or complete followed by a noun. They
are often unnecessary. For example:

The next step will be to undertake a thorough analysis of the results.

This would be more concisely written as:

The next step will be to thoroughly analyse the results.

Avoid unnecessary nominalisation

Many verbs also have a noun form. A common mistake is to use the noun form too frequently. This can
make your writing sound heavy. For example: Regular reviews of online content should be scheduled. In
this case, the verb ‘review’ has been nominalised (made into a noun) so an extra verb ‘schedule’ is
needed.

Alternatives:

Online content should be reviewed regularly.

Companies should review online content regularly.

Avoid expletive constructions

Expletive constructions do not involve swearing (which you should not include in academic writing
either). In English grammar, they refer to sentences which begin with It is or There is. These
constructions are often used where they are not needed. For example:

There were two key tasks in the first part of the project. These were the design of the test rigs and selection
of the variables to be tested.

Removing the expletive constructions makes the writing more concise:

The first part of the project comprised two key tasks: the design of the test rigs and selection of the
variables to be tested.

Avoid low-value phrases

It can be tempting to use wordy phrases to make writing sound more formal. However, they add little of
value and can make your writing sound heavy. For example, instead of writing ‘in the area of customer
service,’ ‘in customer service’ is sufficient. Some other examples include:

'factor to consider':

A. One important factor to consider is the age at which language instruction begins.

B. One important consideration is the age at which language instruction begins.

'matters such as':

A. The novel is preoccupied with matters such as post-colonial society and its mores, race, madness,
and family relationships.

B. The novel is preoccupied with post-colonial society and its mores, race, madness, and family
relationships.

'in the event that':

A. In the event that dividends continue to fall, it will be necessary to reduce staff numbers.

B. If dividends continue to fall, it will be necessary to reduce staff numbers.

Remove unnecessary prepositional phrases

A prepositional phrase adds description to a noun through the use of a preposition, usually “of.” For
example:

The opinion of the working group was that the budget for the project had been set too low.

Such constructions add to wordiness and can be confusing if too many appear close together. They can
usually be simplified using possessives or adjectives.

Example:

The working group’s opinion was that the project budget had been set too low.

Check for redundant words and phrases

Sometimes we use two words or phrases that say the same thing, or repeat the same information
unnecessarily. Look at this paragraph from the introduction to an Engineering site visit report.
The Key River Water Treatment Plant (KRWTP) is a state of the art facility that recycles most of the
domestic waste water produced in the area and treats the remainder before it is pumped into the sea. There
are three steps in the plant’s treatment process. Firstly, the primary solids are removed using dissolved air
floatation, clarification and sedimentation. After these large solids are removed, the water undergoes
primary filtration before second filtration using a median filter, and last of all it is disinfected using chlorine.
The plant processes 20,000 tonnes of domestic wastewater per year. Based on an average daily usage of
155L per person by the local population of 25,000, this is more than more than 3.8 million L/day from
domestic sources. Of this, on average 78% is able to be recycled. The extracted waste is disposed of at the
local landfill.

The same text edited to remove repetition:

The Key River Water Treatment Plant (KRWTP) is a state of the art facility which processes 20,000 tonnes of
domestic wastewater per year. Based on an average daily usage of 155L per person by the local population
of 25,000, this is more than 3.8 million L/day. Of this,78% is recycled and the remainder is treated before
being pumped into the sea. The treatment process has three steps. First, primary solids are removed using
dissolved air floatation, clarification and sedimentation. The water then undergoes two filtration stages, and
finally chlorine disinfection. The extracted waste goes to the local landfill.

Activity

On each screen you will see two versions of the same text. For each pair, select the version that
is written more concisely.
From an Education student’s classroom placement reflection:

 A. I was concerned. I spoke with the classroom teacher, suggesting that perhaps
many of the children placed too great an importance on winning the game
rather than on answering the questions correctly. This concern stemmed from
my observation of the classroom where I noticed a number of students
jumping up, claiming that they knew the answer before the question was fully
stated, or before they had had sufficient time to think about the question and
work out the answer.

 B. I was concerned. I suggested to the classroom teacher that many of the children
placed too great an importance on winning the game rather than on answering
the questions correctly. This concern stemmed from my classroom
observation where I noticed students claiming to know the answer before the
question was fully stated, or before they had had time to think and work it out.

 Check 


 Activity

Try applying the techniques presented in this module to your own writing. Re-read a current or
past assignment and highlight the sentences, words or phrases that could be changed or
removed to make your writing more concise. Be careful though not to remove phrases that
contribute to meaning.

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How to write precisely

In academic writing it is essential that your readers - and markers - understand exactly what you mean, so
you need to make sure that what you write is accurate and unambiguous. This is not as simple as it sounds;
writing precisely requires considerable thought and careful editing.

Click on the headings below for more information.

Use qualifiers to ‘fine-tune’ your claims

When writing assignments it is important not to overgeneralise or overstate your claims.

Compare these two examples.

Example 1

Chinese are Buddhist. They go to the temple five times a year, live simple lives, and give money to charity.

Example 2

Many Chinese are Buddhists. Practising Buddhists go to the temple about five times a year, generally try to
live simple lives, and give money to charity when they can.

The second statement is carefully qualified and avoids over-generalisation.

You can avoid over-generalising by using qualifying words to indicate the strength of your claims. The
table below presents some of the most common qualifiers.

Quantity Frequency Probability

Most Always Certainly

Many Usually Definitely

Several Sometimes Clearly

Some Occasionally Likely

Few Rarely Perhaps

Not many Never Unlikely

Use accurate vocabulary

High level vocabulary can be problematic as it is easy to confuse words which sound similar but have
different meanings or spelling.

Check your spelling

Consider the following example from an engineering report:

The study found that an opposing rotation decreased vortex breakdown, while a complimentary rotation
enhanced it.

Complimentary is used instead of complementary, which has a different meaning. If this were a one-off
typing error, the marker would probably be lenient. However, if it occurred throughout the report, the
writer could lose not just marks, but credibility.

Sometimes a single letter can be the difference between a noun, verb, adjective or tense. Words which
often cause confusion include:

effect/affect; dependent/dependant; lead/led; advice/advise.

These types of error will not be picked up by spell checkers, so it’s up to you to check your work carefully.

Check your dictionary

Some words sound similar enough to be confused and thus used in the wrong context. For example, the
student who wrote:

While studies suggest this approach has merit, its impact has clearly been conflated,

really meant:

While studies suggest this approach has merit, its impact has clearly been inflated.

Take care when using a thesaurus

Students often use a thesaurus to avoid repetition. However, the words listed will not all be an exact
match for the word you look up. They may vary in intensity, formality, part of speech, or contextual
application. Take the case of the verb ‘to conduct’. Among many other words, the thesaurus offers:
direct, lead, manage, organise, operate, carry out, perform.

Use precise vocabulary

Quantities

When making a general claim, words such as few, some, or the majority, often suffice. However, in some
cases, such as describing experimental methods and results, or making an important point, it is better to
use a precise number, for example: six, 10mg, 73%.

All purpose verbs

Verbs such as can, have, get, or go can have more than one meaning or application. For example, get can
mean achieve, obtain, receive, buy, become or understand. Using the most precise word is important in
academic writing to avoid ambiguity or misunderstanding.
Check for illogical constructions

In first drafts we often write statements that are not quite logical. Consider the second sentence in this
paragraph, from an essay on Jane Eyre:

As we see the novel through Jane's eyes, we only hear the story of Mr. Rochester and Bertha through
what Mr. Rochester tells Jane, which Jane then narrates to the reader. If we were to learn Bertha's
version of the story instead of Mr. Rochester's it would probably be very different.

Whether we learn Bertha’s version of the story or not has no effect on if or how it differs from
Rochester’s. In this case the illogical construction is due to mixed referents: we (the readers) and it
(Bertha’s story). Is the sentence about our reactions or about Bertha’s story? There are two ways it could
be written, each of which conveys a slightly different meaning:

If we were to hear Bertha’s version of the story, we might see Rochester differently.

Bertha’s version of the story would probably be very different to Rochester’s.

Consider two options to edit your writing for sound logic: put it aside for a few days before revising or
ask someone else to read it.

Check for dangling modifiers

Modifiers add detail about another unit of meaning within a sentence. For example, in the sentence:
Having missed the bus, Joe set out to walk to town, the phrase Having missed the bus explains why Joe
set out to walk to town.

Note that the subject of the body of the sentence, Joe, also performs the action in the modifying phrase.
Joe missed the bus and Joe set out to walk to town.

A dangling modifier occurs when the subject of the modifying phrase is not the subject of the sentence.
For example: Having set the heater to its highest setting, the room soon became stuffy.

This does not make sense. Who set the heater to its highest setting? Consider these two more precisely
written examples:

The room became stuffy after the heater had been set to its highest setting.

Having set the heater to its highest setting, Jane soon noticed the room becoming stuffy.
Activity

Read the following sentences. How would you write each one to be more precise? Think about it
before you click 'Turn' for the solution.

Bicycle holding rails have been inducted at many intersections

to allow riders to maintain stability while stationery. This report
investigates the effectiveness of this initiative as an accident
inhibition strategy.

 Turn

Card 1 of 3 


Activity

Try applying the techniques presented in this module to your own writing. Re-read a current or
past assignment and highlight the sentences, words or phrases that could be rewritten more
precisely. Be careful though not to change the meaning.
 Tip

It is difficult to be sure your writing is clear, concise and precise. This is because your mind
remembers and understands what you meant to say, so it will fill in any gaps or correct mistakes
as you read. There are two ways to get around this.

1 Wait a few days before re-reading your work. This will give your mind time to forget what
you meant. It can also be useful to change the way the writing looks. For example, change
the font style, size or colour before reading.
2 Share your work with your family or friends. If they understand what you mean without
having to ask you to explain anything, especially if they are not familiar with the topic, then
your writing is probably clear.

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 RESEARCH AND LEARNING ONLINE (HTTPS://WWW.MONASH.EDU/RLO)

Signposting

Much as road signs show you where you are going on a street or highway, you can use certain words or
phrases to create 'signposts' to guide your reader through your writing. Signposts show your reader the route
your writing will take, remind them of key points along the way, and point out changes in direction.

Signposts also help the reader understand the connections between the points you make, and how they
contribute to the overarching aim of the assignment.
Activity

Read these paragraphs from an essay on urban renewal and gentrification

The current urban development paradigm, in which low-income

populations are continually displaced, is both unsustainable and
unethical. I aim to investigate more effective ways of approaching urban
renewal to create sustainable and socially equitable communities. I will
explore the character and progression of gentrification through a case
study of the south London suburb of Brixton, one of the most
demographically diverse areas of London, with a long history of
gentrification and resistance (Mavrommatis, 2013). Using Brixton as a
focal point, I will propose a greater consideration of integrated
sustainable urban development principles is needed to mitigate the
negative impacts of gentrification in the area.

A significant proportion of the literature examines gentrification

almost exclusively in terms of class (Butler & Robson, 2001; Butler &
Robson, 2003; Glass, 1964). Much of the work of Tim Butler concerns the
interactions of middle-class, gentrifying populations, and the building of
what sociologist Pierre Bourdieu (1986) terms economic, social, and
cultural capital into physical urban environments (Butler, 2002; Butler &
 Robson, 2003; Jackson & Butler, 2015). Scholars have attempted an
intersectional perspective, combining an analysis of class with one of
gender, race, or ethnicity (Lees, 2000). Such analyses remain too static to
encompass the complexity of gentrification issues, particularly in a
diverse contemporary setting such as London, or the highly multicultural
district of Brixton (Mavrommatis, 2013).

Now read the version below. Which is easier to read?

The current urban development paradigm, in which low-income

populations are continually displaced, is both unsustainable and
unethical. Therefore, I aim to investigate more effective ways of
approaching urban renewal to create sustainable and socially equitable
communities. I will first explore the character and progression of
gentrification through a case study of the south London suburb of
Brixton, one of the most demographically diverse areas of London, with a
long history of gentrification and resistance (Mavrommatis, 2013).
Subsequently, using Brixton as a focal point, I propose a greater
consideration of integrated sustainable urban development principles is
needed to mitigate the negative impacts of gentrification in the area.

Notably, a significant proportion of the literature examines

gentrification almost exclusively in terms of class ((Butler & Robson, 2001;
Butler & Robson, 2003; Glass, 1964). For example, much of the work of
Tim Butler concerns the interactions of middle-class, gentrifying
populations, and the building of what sociologist Pierre Bourdieu (1986)
terms economic, social, and cultural capital into physical urban
environments (Butler, 2002; Butler & Robson, 2003; Jackson & Butler,
2015). More recently, scholars have attempted an intersectional
perspective, combining an analysis of class with one of gender, race, or
ethnicity (Lees, 2000). However, such analyses remain too static to
encompass the complexity of gentrification issues, particularly in a
diverse contemporary setting such as London, or the highly multicultural
district of Brixton (Marommatis, 2013).

References
 Bourdieu, P. (1986). The forms of capital. In J. G, Richardon (Ed.), Handbook of theory & research
for the sociology of education (pp. 241-258). Greenwood.

Butler, T. (2002). Thinking global but acting local: The middle classes in the city. Sociological
Research Online 7(3), 1-19.

Butler, T. and Robson, G. (2001). Social capital, gentrification and neighbourhood change in
London: A comparison of three South London neighbourhoods. Urban Studies 38(12),
2145-2162.

Butler, T. and Robson, G. (2003). Negotiating their way in: The middle-classes, gentrification and
the deployment of capital in a globalising metropolis”, Urban Studies 40(9), 1791-1809.

Glass, R. L. (1964). Introduction: Aspects of change. In Centre for Urban Studies (Ed.), London:
Aspects of change. (pp. xiii-xlii). Macgibbon and Kee.

Jackson, E. and Butler, T. (2015). Revisiting ‘social tectonics’: The middle classes and social mix
in gentrifying neighbourhoods. Urban Studies 52(13), 2349-2365.

Lees, L. (2000). A reappraisal of gentrification: Towards a ‘Geography of Gentrification’. Progress

in Human Geography 24(3), 389-408.

Mavrommatis, G. (2011). Stories from Brixton: Gentrification and different differences.

Sociological Research Online 16(2), 3-9.

Most readers find the second text easier to read because signposts make the connections between the ideas
presented. For example,‘Therefore’ shows the relationship between the points made in the first and second
sentences, and ‘first’ and ‘subsequently’ tell us that the following sentences explain how the essay will
develop. However, it is not enough to simply outline the intended structure in the introduction – you need
signposts throughout to remind the reader where they have come from and tell them where you plan to take
them next.

Signposts can also tell us how to interpret information presented in the assignment. For example, ‘Notably’ at
the beginning of the second paragraph above tells us that the writer considers the content of the sentence to
be significant.

Signposts can be simple words or phrases (e.g. however, in summary), or complete sentences (e.g. to explain
the transition from one section of your writing to another).
 Tip

Overusing signposts can affect your writing negatively. You are not expected to start each and
every sentence in a paragraph with a signpost. Rather, you should use them only when you think
they add value to your text and make it easy to follow for the reader.

Major signposts
Major signposts are used to indicate important elements of your writing,
such as your purpose, your position, your main points, and your
conclusions.

Examples:

This paper argues that…

This essay critically examines…
I will focus on...
This thesis begins by… It goes on to… Finally...
In conclusion,…

Transition sentences
Transition sentences are used to explain how and why you are moving from
one idea to another.

Examples:

Having examined… it is now necessary to…

It is clear that... I will therefore now consider…
In the above discussion… It is also important, however, to examine…
One of the most significant factors in… is...
Another key implication of… is...

Linking words
Linking words are used to identify the connections between ideas. They tell
the reader what to expect next, or how to interpret what they read. You can
use them to connect ideas within sentences, between sentences or
between paragraphs.

Examples:

Types of linking
Examples
words

Addition Also,... In addition,... Furthermore,…

Moreover,... 

Cause and effect As a result,… Consequently,… Due to,...

Because of this,...
The effect of this is…

Comparison and Similarly,… Likewise,... In the same way,...

contrast Correspondingly,...
On one hand,...; on the other hand,…
However,... In contrast,...
Alternatively,...

Examples For instance,... To illustrate this,... As a case

in point,...
We can see this in the case of...
 Types of linking
Examples
words

Exception and However,... Nevertheless,... Although...

qualification Despite this,...
While,... Whereas….

Time and First,… Initially,... To begin,... After that,...

sequence Subsequently,...
Meanwhile,... At the same time,...
Previously,... Before…
After… Finally,...

Reminders
Reminders help the reader remember the content that you have already
covered. This is particularly useful in longer essays.

Examples:

In summary…
So far…
As we have seen above…
We saw in Section 2 that…

Summing up is another kind of reminder. This is useful to help the reader consolidate the content of one
section or chapter before moving on to the next.

Examples:

In conclusion,... In other words,... In brief,... Thus,...

Activity
 Click on the signposts in the following paragraph.

Although Mintzberg's study focused on top-level managers , his findings apply

to all levels ( Kurke & Aldrich , 1983 ; Gibbs , 1994 ). For example , a study of
factory supervisors found they undertook between 237 and 173 activities
within a workday - more than one activity every two minutes ( Guest , 1956 ).
Such research supports the need for managers to develop a major network
of contacts if they are to have influence and operate effectively ( Luthans ,
1988 ). Therefore , Mintzberg's work continues to have relevance now and into
the future .

 Check 

Reuse Embed 

Summary
We have seen that signposts help the reader make sense of a piece of writing in a variety of ways. Use:
major signposts to indicate important elements such as your purpose, position, main points, and
conclusions
transition sentences to explain how and why you are moving between ideas
linking words to identify the connections between ideas
reminders to remind the reader of content already covered.

Tip

When writing, it is easy to assume the connections between points are clear when in fact they
may not be. It can be useful to have someone else read your work. If they can follow your
argument or reasoning without help, you have signposted clearly.
 RESEARCH AND LEARNING ONLINE (HTTPS://WWW.MONASH.EDU/RLO)

Paraphrasing, summarising and quoting

Introduction
In your assignments you will be expected to draw on the writing of experts in your field of study to
demonstrate your understanding of key concepts, ideas and debates. You will also use this material as
evidence to support your arguments and justify your claims.

Care is needed when incorporating the work of others into your assignments to avoid plagiarism. The
techniques that will assist you to achieve this are: paraphrasing, summarising and quoting combined with
correct referencing.

The tutorial will cover:

Making notes for assignments

Paraphrasing
Summarising
Quoting
Information-prominent or Author-prominent citation
Putting it all together
Making notes for assignments
Although it can be tempting to copy chunks word-for-word from a text when making notes for an assignment,
you should avoid this for three reasons:

it can increase the risk of accidental plagiarism

it can mask the fact that you do not fully understand what you have read
it is a passive technique and does not help you to learn.

Tip

Rewording some technical terms or specialised vocabulary (e.g. direct instruction and liquid
chromatography in the following examples) might not be easily possible because replacing them
with similar words can alter the original meaning or not communicate the same meaning.

EXAMPLE:

a. The teaching method known as direct instruction was developed in

North America in the 1960s.
b. Liquid chromatography will be used to separate the components of
the mixture.
 Therefore, you might need to copy the keywords or discipline-specific words that are essential to
retain the original meaning in your notes and use them in your assignments.

The following tips will help you write effective notes and avoid plagiarism. Click on the headings below for
more details.

Record bibliographic details of the source

Record the bibliographic details of the source (e.g. author name, year of publication, title, page number)
that you need for your reference list or bibliography on the same page or app that you are using to record
your notes. This saves you having to search for the details later and makes it clear where the content
originally came from.

Identify the key points

As you read, ask yourself: What is the key message of each paragraph or section? Record the main
points without the detailed explanations that accompany them.

Hint
 When you can express the key information presented in the original text in your own words
briefly, you are ready to make paraphrased notes. If you can’t do this, you probably haven’t
understood the text and need to re-read it.
`

Consider the assignment

Consider: Is this information relevant? Remember that you are making notes for a specific assignment. It
is unlikely that everything you read will be useful, so be selective. As you make notes, include brief
comments on their relevance to the assignment.

Avoid full sentences

Remember that these are notes - they do not have to be complete sentences. Use dot points, symbols,
diagrams, and other graphic representations. This way you will naturally use your own words when
writing the assignment.

If you do write in full sentences, be sure to use your own words, not those in the original text. Of course,
this doesn’t apply to discipline specific or technical terms which must be used as they appear in the
original source. Always check spelling, dates, numerical values, etc.
 Hint

Not looking at the original text while making notes will assist you to take notes in your own
words and avoid plagiarism. However, after taking notes, compare your notes to the original
text to make sure you have retained the original meaning.
`

Include page numbers

Include page numbers beside your notes. This will save you time later if you need to double-check
information or need a quote. Some referencing styles require page numbers for paraphrasing as well, so
it is important to have them available.

Record your questions

As you gather information for your assignment, you may have questions related to the concepts,
arguments or study that you are reading about. Include these in your notes so you do not forget them.

Note connections

It is important to connect the ideas presented in different sources to each other and to your unit and
assignment. Record your own comments about how each author's research supports or contradicts the
work of other researchers you have read, or what you have learned in lectures. Be careful to clearly
distinguish your ideas from those of the author.
 Hint

Put your own thoughts, ideas and questions in a different colour or font so they are easily
distinguishable from the ideas of the researcher that you have recorded.
`

Organise your notes

After you have taken notes from your different sources, organise them into groups to match your
research questions.
`

Essay Question

It is generally agreed that homelessness is increasing in Australia, but there is

yet no commonly accepted definition. What does it mean to be 'homeless', and
why is it hard for governments, charities and social commentators to agree on a
definition?

Definitions of 'homeless'
* Definition of home - "where one lives permanently" - permanent residence
(OUP, 2017)

* ABS definition - widely accepted - three levels:

primary - w/out conventional accom.

secondary - frequent moves btwn temporary accom.
tertiary - medium - long term stays in boarding houses (NYC, 2008, p.38)

Government views of 'homeless'

* The NYC recommends - expand and increase funding supported accom. (NYC,
2008, p.20)

* 2000-2012 - Reconnect assist. 66,000 aged 12-18 (5,670 2011-12) - counselling

and practical support (DFHCSIA, 2012, p.13)

References

Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs.

(2012). Commonwealth government homelessness programs in Western
Australia. Parity, 25(9): 13-14

National Youth Commission. (2008). Australia's Homeless Youth: A Report of

National Youth Commission Inquiry into Youth Homelessness.
http://www.theoasismovie.com.au/pdfs/Homeless_report.pdf

Oxford Living Dictionary. (2017). Home.

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/home
Hint

When planning and writing your assignment, use only your own notes which are written in your
own words. This will help you avoid plagiarism.
 Activity

Are the following statements about note making true or false?

The most useful notes include a lot of direct copying.

 True  False

 Check 

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Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing means expressing information or ideas from other sources in your own words in a similar
number of words as the source text. Paraphrasing is NOT simply replacing words with synonyms or
rearranging the structure of sentences. It involves rephrasing a text substantially while retaining the original
meaning. Paraphrasing involves acknowledging the original source with proper referencing.
 Tip

A paraphrase is particularly useful:

when you are dealing with facts and definitions

when you need to refer to a chunk of information from one particular part of a source (e.g.
a paragraph in the introduction of a journal article).

Here is how to paraphrase:

1 The first step in paraphrasing is to read the original text and get a full grasp of it. You may need to read
the original text a few times and check the meaning of key words to fully understand it.
2 While you are reading, think about the overall meaning of each paragraph or section - don’t just focus
on the individual words and sentences.
3 After each paragraph or section, put the reading aside and state it in your own words.
4 When you can do this, you are ready to write your paraphrase.
5 Finally, proofread, revise and edit your paraphrase as necessary.

Hint
Don't forget to include a proper citation when paraphrasing and be careful not to change the
author’s meaning.

Activity

The paragraph below is a paraphrase written by a student. Its aim is to support one of the key
contentions in their essay on learning motivation among older students studying off campus.
Compare the student’s paraphrase to the original text and answer the following question.

The student’s paraphrase:

In the research study undertaken by Kahu (2014), students struggled to

learn material that did not interest them. However, they were highly
motivated to learn, and more successful, when studying topics they chose
themselves. Kahu concludes that student interest in learning is greatly
influenced by the design and content of the curriculum.

Original source:

Course design and content were critical influences on interest. For

instance, courses that students chose to do, or that offered opportunities
for choice of sub‐topics or assessments, enabled them to follow their
interests and therefore experience that positive spiral. On the other hand,
 compulsory courses and topics that did not interest the students often led
to boredom and frustration. Boredom was consistently linked with lower
behavioural and cognitive engagement. Bored students procrastinated
more, studied less, and, importantly, found the learning more difficult.

The student’s paraphrase is a bad paraphrasing example.

 True  False

 Check

Activity

Below is an extract from a text which a student intends to use in an assignment, followed by two
attempts at paraphrasing it. Read through these, then indicate which you think does a better job
of paraphrasing.
Assignment topic

It is generally agreed that homelessness is increasing in Australia, yet there is no commonly

accepted definition. What does it mean to be ‘homeless’, and why is it so hard for governments,
charities and social commentators to agree on a definition?

Original text:

Because of the complexity of homelessness from a social policy and

service delivery perspective, there are a wide range of views on what
constitutes homelessness. Definitions of homelessness are culturally and
historically contingent. They range from limited objective measures
which conflate homelessness with rooflessness to more subjective
definitions founded on culturally and historically determined ideas of
‘home’.

Paraphrasing - Example A

Homelessness is complicated from both policy-making and service

delivery points of view. For this reason, there are many different opinions
on what homelessness means. Characterisations of homelessness are
linked to culture and history. They encompass both narrow objective
views which define being homeless as being roofless, and more personal
definitions based on cultural and historical understandings of 'home'
(ABS, 2012).

Paraphrasing - Example B

A multi-faceted concept, homelessness can be defined in a variety of

ways, most simply as the basic lack of shelter. However, our
understanding of what constitutes a ‘home’ is also informed by our
culture and history. This complexity impacts the development of effective
policy and services to address homelessness (ABS, 2012).
 Which example paraphrases the information better?

 Example A

 Example B

 Check

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Summarising
Summarising means briefly outlining the main points of a reading in your own words without adding your own
ideas or changing the author’s meaning. Summarised information must be accompanied by a citation.

Tip

A summary is particularly useful if you need to refer to the main idea/argument presented in a
source (e.g. a book/chapter/article, etc.).
Here is how to summarise:

1 Similar to paraphrasing, the first step in summarising is to read the original text and get a full grasp of
it. You may need to re-read the original source a few times and look up the meaning of key words to
fully understand it.
2 When reading, ask yourself: What is the overall message? What are the key points?
3 Concentrate on the essentials and leave out details and examples.
4 Put the source aside and state its key points in your own words.
5 When you can do this, you are ready to write your summary.
6 Finally, proofread, revise and edit your summary as necessary.

Hint

Don't forget to include a proper citation when summarising and be careful not to add new points
or change the original meaning.
Activity

The following paragraph is a summary of the original source below written by a student as part
of a report on the dietary habits of Australian adolescents. Compare the student's summary to
the original text and answer the question.

Original source:

With respect to daily intakes of specific micronutrients, 40% of adolescent

girls and 8% of adolescent boys were at risk for inadequate intakes of
iron. While protein intakes were adequate in these subpopulations, the
top two sources of iron were from plant-based, iron fortified sources
(breakfast cereals and breads and bread rolls). With regard to higher iron
bioavailability and density, animal-based protein sources may be another
strategy to address iron intake, particularly among females, as it has been
previously shown to be a less popular food choice among Australian
children and adolescents and avoided by young female adults (Fayet-
Moore et al., 2017).

The student’s summary:

Fayet-Moore et al. (2017) found that 40% of adolescent girls, compared to

8% of boys, are likely to have an inadequate amount of iron in their diets,
 in spite of a sufficient protein intake. They attribute this to a tendency to
avoid foods derived from animals.

The student’s summary is a good summarising example.

 True  False

 Check

Activity

Read this section of an article and choose which option from the answers below best
summarises it.

Original source:
 Longitudinal studies have also confirmed the role of beliefs in teacher
practice. The impact of previously held beliefs was found to be enduring
when four school teachers were observed over a two-year period
implementing a new and specific method of teaching reading (Stephens et
al., 2000). Despite the teachers receiving special training, new practice
was not comprehensively sustained, with one teacher reverting to
practice based on prior-held beliefs at the end of the training period.
Similar reliance on earlier beliefs has been observed in studies of
preservice teachers. In a two year study on development of professional
belief systems about reading instruction the teachers appeared to create
fictive images of themselves as teachers consistent with their prior
knowledge of teachers and reading, and the experiences they had on
teaching practicum (Stoube, 2009). These factors seemed more important
in forming these teachers’ notions about teaching reading, than formal
reading courses undertaken as part of teacher training. In a similar
fashion, research with preservice teachers at two American universities
found that previous, personal experience and beliefs continued to
influence content and instructional choices of these participants (Barnyak
& Paquette, 2010).

Which of the following best summarises the original paragraph?    

 McHardy and Chapman (2016) prove that teachers find it impossible to change
their approach to teaching reading to adults despite being trained in alternative
methods. They always return to the practices they believe are best. Their views
are supported by at least three other studies.

 McHardy and Chapman (2016) discuss previous research into preservice

teachers (Stoube, 2009; Barnyak & Paquette, 2010) and experienced teachers
(Stephens et al., 2000) and conclude that even when they have received
training in methods of teaching reading that differ from their existing practices
and beliefs, they often revert to the old ways after the training is completed.

 Teachers’ reluctance to implement new methods of teaching reading to adults

is regrettable (McHardy & Chapman, 2016). By holding onto their old belief
systems, they are not making the most of their training and thereby
disadvantaging their students. Studies by Stephens et al. (2000), Stoube (2009)
dB k dP tt (2010) ll t thi ti
 and Barnyak and Paquette (2010) all support this assertion.

 Check

Reuse 
 Tip

Remember: Read the text carefully and check anything you do not understand. Your summary
will not be accurate if you have misunderstood the work. Also, be careful not to let your own
ideas get mixed up with those of the author’s.

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Quoting
Quoting means repeating the author’s exact words. In some disciplines, such as literary studies and history,
quoting is used frequently to support an argument. In most others, especially science and technology, it is
used sparingly, if at all. Make sure you understand how quoting is used in your discipline. If unsure, ask a
lecturer or tutor.

Some situations which might justify direct quoting could be:

the author has devised and named a new theory, model, concept, technique or scale
the author has provided a definition of a concept
the author’s words have unusual impact and would be difficult to express in any other way
the author is a notable authority on the subject and their words will lend weight to your argument
you are expected to use examples to justify your interpretation or analysis of a literary work.
Keep the quote as brief as possible, and integrate it into the development of your argument or discussion.
This means commenting on the quote to show how it connects to your point. All quotes require page
numbers in the citation.

Hint

Different citation styles have different definitions of short and long quotes. Check your citation
style or ask your tutor or lecturer if you are unsure.

Short quotes

For a short quote (up to two or three lines), place the relevant words in quotation marks and incorporate them
into your sentence.

According to Scholte (2008, p. 1473) “when globalisation is interpreted as

internationalisation, the term refers to a growth of transactions and
interdependence between countries”.

It is not a failing of the author when one of the characters acts in an unusually
audacious way. As Jane Austen’s character, Mrs Croft, says, “We none of us expect to
 be in smooth water all our days” (1992, p. 71). There are many examples in real life
as well as fiction of a normally cautious person finding themselves enjoying an
adventure.

Tip

You do not need to place technical terms or specialised vocabulary in quotation marks if you use
them as a part of a paraphrase or summary in your assignment.

Long (Block) quotes

Quotes of more than 30 or 40 words (depending on the citation style you are using) should be:

set apart from the rest of your text, usually by leaving one blank line before and after
indented, usually by five spaces
possibly typed in a smaller font.

Generally, the quote should be preceded by a colon. Check the referencing style guide for your unit.
Kotler comments on the tendency of many Americans to assume that everything in
the United States is better than elsewhere:

A nation that is great does not need to boast about it! It will be known without
promotion. Other nations don’t appreciate hearing, by implication, that their
country offers much less than the U.S. does. The citizens of many countries
actually prefer their country’s ways and culture to U.S. culture. Many
Europeans, especially the French, feel their lives are more satisfying (Kotler,
2016, p. 168).

A similar attitude prevails in Australia and can be discerned in discussions about

immigration. Many commentators take it for granted that everyone would prefer to
live here.

Hint

Never end a paragraph with a block quote. You should always explain how the quote fits into your
argument.
Activity

Each of these four attempts at quoting has an error. Drag the error the writer has made (on the
right hand side) and match it to the quote on the left.


Activity

Look at the following examples of long quotes. Indicate whether the quote has been used
appropriately. Hint: This activity requires you to consider more than just the formatting of the
quote.
 The nineteenth century witnessed the rise of rationalism. This led to a new
approach to scientific research. Darwin describes his research process as
follows:
These facts seemed to me to throw some light on the origin of species - that
mystery of mysteries, as it has been called by one of our great philosophers …
something might perhaps be made out of this question by patiently
accumulating and reflecting on all sorts of facts which could possibly have any
bearing on it (Darwin, 1860, p.11).
This process is familiar to modern scientists, who examine and analyse data in
order to draw conclusions.

 No.

 Yes.

 Check 

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Information-prominent or Author-prominent citation

There are two broad types of citation; information-prominent and author-prominent.

Information-prominent citation is used when what (i.e. the information) you want to convey is more
important to your purpose than telling the reader who (i.e. the author) wrote that information. In this case the
citation follows the content. For example:

By focusing on the observable manifestations of mental processes, natural science is

at risk of being defined too narrowly as the “science of meter reading”, thereby
diminishing the importance of the underlying cognitive processes that behaviour is
based on (Chomsky, 2006, p. 57).
Author-prominent citation is used when the primary importance is given to who (i.e. the author) has written
the information, findings or opinion you are presenting in your writing rather than what is presented. In this
case the author is usually mentioned in the subject of the sentence. Instances when author-prominent
citation are useful include:

when the author is a noted authority on the topic

when tracing the historical or chronological development of new thinking or discoveries
when comparing differing expert opinions.

For example:

The eminent linguist, Noam Chomsky has warned that a narrow definition of the
natural sciences as the ‘science of meter reading’, fails to acknowledge the complex
cognitive processes that observable behaviour is based on (2006, p. 57).

Activity

Look at the following citations. Are they information-prominent or author-prominent?

 Research by Chesters and Watson (2016) indicates that students who do
enabling courses before a university course will get higher grades than those
who do not.

 Author-prominent.

 Information-prominent.

 Check 

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Putting it all together

So far we have discussed three methods of presenting or referring to the work of others in your assignments:
paraphrasing, summarising and quoting.

In any assignment you will most likely use a mix of these techniques to convey what you have read. However,
there are other considerations which will affect the way you present this information:

Naturally you will select the information which best supports your purpose in relation to the
assignment. You might use only part of the information provided in a given source and you will often
need to incorporate information from several sources to fulfil your purpose, whether it is to support
your argument, to explain a concept, or to refute another writer’s ideas.
The words you choose to introduce and comment on the information you present, as well as the way
you synthesise information from various sources, will show your attitude to the content. This is often
referred to as your 'voice' which provides clues to the readers about how they should interpret what
they read.

Look at the example below. The purpose of the paragraph is to introduce the concept of homelessness and
lead into a discussion of policy development and service provision. Note how the writer has incorporated
materials from several sources.

Homelessness can be defined in a number of ways. These extend from the want of
shelter (ABS, 2012), which may or may not include temporary shelter such as
couchsurfing and crisis accommodation (Mission Australia, 2017), to a lack of
permanency, membership of a family or social unit, or sense of historical belonging
(OUP, 2017). The difficulty of agreeing on a definition is reflected in the complexity
involved in developing effective policies and services for those deemed to be
homeless (ABS, 2012).

Activity

Respond True/ False or Agree/Disagree to the following statements with reference to the
paragraph above.

The inclusion of information from several sources helps the writer paint a well-
rounded picture of the situation described.

 True  False

 Check 
Activity

Now read the version below. This time we can hear the essay writer’s voice in the way the
information is conveyed.

Click on the words, phrases or sentences that indicate the writer’s attitude.

Homelessness is more than the want of a roof over one’s head. A multi-
faceted concept, it can be defined in a variety of ways, most simply as
merely the want of shelter (ABS, 2012), including or not including those
who are couch surfing or in crisis accommodation (Mission Australia
2017). However, four of the six entries under ‘home’ in the Oxford Living
Dictionary (OUP, 2017), emphasise permanency, membership of a family
or social unit, or historical association. These additional elements reflect
the influence of cultural and historical factors on our understanding of
what constitutes a home (ABS, 2012) and, by extension, what is lost when
one becomes homeless.

Phrases Found: 0 of 5

Answer true or false to the following statement about the paragraph above.
 The sole purpose of this paragraph is to indicate the writer’s stance on what
constitutes homelessness.

 True  False

 Check

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References
Austen, J. (1992). Persuasion. Promotional Reprint Company.

Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2012). A Statistical Definition of Homelessness (No. 4922.0).

http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4922.0main+features32012 (http://www.abs.gov.
au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/4922.0main+features32012)

Chomsky, N. (2006). Language and mind. Cambridge University Press.

Fayet-Moore, F., McConnell, A., Kim, J. & Mathias, KC. (2017). Identifying eating occasion based opportunities
to improve the overall diets of Australian adolescents, Nutrients, 9(6), 608. doi:10.3390/nu9060608 (ht
tp://dx.doi.org/10.3390/nu9060608)

Kahu, E. (2014). Increasing the emotional engagement of first year mature-aged distance students: Interest
and belonging. The International Journal of The First Year In Higher Education, 5(2), 5-55.
doi:10.5204/intjfyhe.v5i2.231 (http://dx.doi.org/10.5204/intjfyhe.v5i2.231)

Kotler, P. (2016). Democracy in decline: rebuilding its future. Sage Publications.

McHardy, J. & Chapman, E. (2016). Adult reading teachers’ beliefs about how less-skilled adult readers can
be taught to read, Literacy and Numeracy Studies, 24(2), 24-42. doi:10.5130/lns.v24i2.4809 (http://dx.d
oi.org/10.5130/lns.v24i2.4809)

Mission Australia. (2017). What is homelessness? https://www.missionaustralia.com.au/what-we-

do/homelessness-social-housing/what-is-homelessness? (https://www.missionaustralia.com.au/wha
t-we-do/homelessness-social-housing/what-is-homelessness?)

Oxford Living Dictionary. (2017). Home. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/home (https://en.oxford

dictionaries.com/definition/home)

Scholte, J. A. (2008). Defining Globalisation. World Economy, 31(11), 1471–1502. doi:10.1111/j.1467-

9701.2007.01019.x (http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9701.2007.01019.x)
Editing and
proofreading
Refining your own work is an essential skill, and an
excellent way to continually improve your writing.
This guide covers the difference between editing and
proofreading, and provides checklists you can use to
review your work before submission.

What is the Step 1

difference? Reread your
instructions, question,
 Editing focuses on and rubric, so you can
improving the 'big approach the task with
picture' of your clarity about your aims
assignment. It is how and purpose.
you ensure you have
fully addressed the
task requirements, Step 2
and involves making Use the checklists on
structural changes to the next page as a
your writing and stating point to refine
checking the logic your work.
and flow.
 Proofreading Tip: To spot errors more
focuses on specific easily, read your text
details like spelling, aloud, and take breaks
sentence structure, between writing, editing,
and referencing. and proofreading.
 Editing Proofreading
Structural aspects Formatting
 Introduction clearly Check for consistency of:
states the topic and how  Heading levels
it will be covered.  Diagrams and tables
 Paragraphs have clear  Margins and indentation
topic sentences and  Footnotes and block
present information in a quotes (if used)
logical order. Referencing, citations
 Conclusion sums up the
 All quotes and
main points and has a
paraphrases are cited.
takeaway message.
 All sources are in the
Topic coverage reference list.
 All aspects of the  All reference details are
question are answered. complete.
 All key terms and  All in-text citations and
concepts are defined. reference list entries are
 Every point on the rubric in the required style.
is fully addressed. Language use
Analysis & argument  Sentences are complete
 Analysis presents an and separated by
evaluation (not just appropriate punctuation.
description).  Spelling is accurate and
 Argument is supported consistent, in Australian
by sufficient evidence, English.
and a range of sources.  Academic tone used
Quoting, paraphrasing throughout (formal,
objective, impersonal,
 Quotations are applied
concise and precise).
to your specific context,
and their significance is Personal checklist
clearly discussed. Add your own items to
 Paraphrased content each of these checklists
retains the same based on feedback you
meaning as the original. have received in the past.

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