Q : When does a dad joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes Apparent!

I'm going to write a story that's about humans who lived in the time of dinosaurs, and who are trying to
get to heaven. It's titled “Velocirapture”.

The unicycle kept asking the bicycle to come out and play, but the bicycle was always two-tired

What did the evil chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.

Where do Kingfishers, cormorants and penguins hang out?

At a Dive Bar

How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

You will see one later and one in a while.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they’re so good at it.

What happens when it rains cats and dogs?

You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

Pouch potato.

Why did the old man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well

Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Can February March?

No, but April May.

I used to run a dating service for chickens. But I was struggling to make hens meet.

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know. :)

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb?

The answer will shock you!

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house…

but the kids still get in.

I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden but how am I supposed
to know when it is raining in Sweden?

I was addicted to hokey pokey...but I turned myself around.

Why do dogs float in water? Because they are good buoys.

Where do pirates get their hooks?

Second hand stores.

what did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna 1, anna 2

How do you move a canoe filled with puppies?

Bring out the doggy paddle

Did you hear the rumour about butter?

No? well i'm not gonna spread it!

Where does dad keep all his dad jokes?

In his dad-a-base!

It is inappropriate to tell dad jokes if you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa.

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it

There was a dance and the butterfly wasn't there. How come?
Because it was a Moth Ball.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

U nique up on it!

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Same way : U nique up on it!

Grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says “hey we have a drink named after you!”
“you have a drink called Bob?”

What are the benefits of dried grapes?

They're all about raisin awareness

I tried to tell the trojans a joke, but they kept horsing around.

I tried to tell an Icarus joke, but it didn't go the distance.

English: "Once upon a time..." Arabic: "There was, oh what there was (or there wasn't) in the oldest of
days and ages and times..." Armenian: "There was, there was not..." Czech: "Beyond seven mountain
ranges, beyond seven rivers..."