Okay so it all started back then on 03 rd September 2019 on my 16th, I got a text from my sister’s

boyfriend saying they broke up and he really wants to share something with me and he even said
that he can’t really share it with anyone. He told me that my sister and him were in a live-in
relationship in Bangalore where my sister stayed for almost a year and worked there. He told me
that they had sex very often and she used to persuade him to do that. It was all a shock for me and
the worst I could expect on my 16th. After knowing this I didn’t share it with my mom because I
couldn’t believe a stranger who randomly blabbers shit to me so I waited until I got proves. In the
next 2 weeks I got to know a lot more things. I finally believed when I got several screen shots of
chats between my sister and him and I surely knew that was my sister’s number and snapchat
account. Yet I couldn’t gather the confidence to tell my mom. Not that I couldn’t but her knowing it
would have a great impact on her and she would spend sleepless nights overthinking and worrying.
It dragged until October when I really wanted to tell my mom but I couldn’t because we had
scheduled a trip with family friends and I didn’t want to ruin it so I let go of it. We returned back
home and settled down and again I got ready to tell my mom but again this time I couldn’t tell. This
time it was my mom’s birthday which I didn’t want to ruin. Throughout this time, I got to know new
points. She wasn’t just with 1 guy she was with 3 at the same time. She kept lying to the others. She
was dating a guy who lived in Australia and there’s no chance he’ll know what on earth she is doing
in India. The other one was her office mate who she asked out herself but told everyone else that he
black mailed her to date him and if she doesn’t then he’ll suicide which is 100% a made up story. The
last one is the Bangalore guy. It was all a mess for me. She lied to every single one of them about
something or the other. She told the Bangalore guy that she has throat cancer and every time she
coughs blood comes out. I mean it all feels so dramatic but it happened. Days passed by I got to
know more information and one day I just couldn’t keep it with myself. It was time for me to spill it
out. And in the last week of October, I told my mom about the whole incident and the discussions
went on for 3-4 days. My sister weaved stories and my mom fell for them. At the end of all this there
is one thing that hurt me the most, my mom said “I feel you’re the one who did all this and you’re
blaming it on your sister”. This statement broke me. It created a drift between me and my parents

When all this happened, I had to share it with someone and I did. I shared it with my best friend and
one day when I went to school my mom stalked my phone. She read all the chats and get gave me 2
slaps on my face. She said how can you trust a stranger and tell everything etc etc and she said she
lost trust in me. It broke me even more. That day I was on my knees pleading my parents to trust me
for once and that’s the incident that killed me.

Around this time, I got a ligament tear near my right thumb while playing hand ball and I couldn’t
really write. My notebooks were ofc incomplete and too much work was incomplete. Peak
December means projects and practical’s and what not. But I wasn’t fine. After all the above
incidents I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I stopped talking to most of my friends in school, I used to
be lost in class, I didn’t reply to my friend’s texts… everything was a mess. My fashion teacher was
the first one to realise that there’s something wrong… cause my whole portfolio was incomplete. I
couldn’t do it cause my parents didn’t let me spend time alone in my room for more than 30mins
and for something related to arts you need a peaceful mind which I didn’t have. Thoughts kept
dragging me into the things that hurt me and I kept feeling sad. My teacher tried talking to me but I
didn’t tell her anything. Soon she sent me to the counsellor in school... at first, I didn’t open up but
later I told her what happened…. And ofc she couldn’t say anything to me because it was my
parent’s fault. This soon went to my vice principal and one day when I wanted early permission and
my parents were coming to pick me up, she caught hold of me and told me that she’s not letting me
go unless she speaks to my parents… I didn’t want that to happen because the last time I shared it
my bestf my mom made a big scene and I didn’t want that. I convinced my vice principal and told her
to give me a month’s time and she would see a change. If she doesn’t then she can call my parents
and talk. I had only 1 month and no friends and bt at home. If not, my life would end. Then come
exams. Everything was a mess. One side I was scared that ma’am will end up calling my parents,
other side exam stress and the dark thoughts. I didn’t give up I fought them. I fought everything and
proved myself. Did well in exams, finist my incomplete notes, and showed ma’am that I’m not the
same.

But it doesn’t end here. There’s more. My parents are contrasting and I have to handle all the
controversy. One says yes the other says no, I do it or not I used to get scolded by one or the other.
It still is the same. I’m controlled a lot. Everywhere from what clothes I should wear to what shoes I
should wear to how much I should eat. Even the smallest of things. I feel chocked, suffocated and
what not yet, I don’t open my mouth and tell my parents that they hurt me and control me too
much. Its not that they don’t care, they do but somethings are just hurting me too much. Because I
never want to hurt them at any cost.

For the smallest example, when I got into flame, I was in TMD so I called my parents to tell them that
I got my admission and when I called my dad and told him, the first thing is he said was “What will
you go there” and I couldn’t be happy for 5 mins also. I cried for an hour and till now I’m not to be
happy about it.

Things like these keep happening every day and I keep getting hurt. Its my routine. I habituated
myself to it but after all I’m a human and I get hurt beyond a limit sometimes and feel sad about it.