MODEL ESSAY

In recent years, youth drug abuse has grown to become one of the gravest problems among
juveniles. It is my belief that the stem of this problem is parental influence and a need for
psychological relief. Ultimately, drug use among younger generations will lead to far-reaching
consequences, namely health deterioration and a surge in crime wave.
To begin with, it is incontrovertible that the behaviors of parents have a direct impact on those
of their children. For example, a 2014 survey published by Asian Times revealed that 70 percent of
children whose parents are chain smokers start using drugs at the age of nine. A child may not
entertain the predilection to addictive substances, yet being exposed to his or her parents consuming
them on a regular basis might prompt them to perceive drug use as a normal or acceptable habit.
When these young, impressionable minds get over this barrier of reservation, they are much more
likely to attempt to experiment with drugs, sometimes even out of curiosity. The addictive nature and
inviting psychological effects play a role in this situation, establishing a perilous appetite for drugs.
The rise in youth drug use can also be explained by the suffocating pressure life subjects adolescents
to. Compared to the past, the expectations of youngsters nowadays are much higher and multifaceted.
Not only are they compelled to demonstrate academic excellence and conform to stringent codes of
conduct, they also become objects of comparison for toxic and abusive parents who deem their efforts
unworthy. This repressive burden that younger generations are expected to shoulder might propel
them to substance use. In Korea where academic pressure is well-entrenched, for instance, teenagers
at the age of 12 or 13 smoking is even perceived as a normal occurrence. In search for a temporary
escape from life problems, youngsters uncover release at the availability of bottles or pills.
Youth drug use poses imminent danger for society in both short and long term. Repeated use,
or addiction to drugs, will debilitate the mental acuity of adolescents with a bright future. Stimulants
in the form of alcohol and drugs interfere with neural transmission and ultimately exhaust cerebral
functions. Accordingly, previous studies have shown that sustained engagement with drugs
predispose children to ADHD, a mental condition that translates to a short attention span. With a
decrease in brain activity, the younger generations will not be able to keep up their academic studies
and eventually, a large promising workforce goes into decline. In addition, youth drug use is also
associated with criminal tendencies. Consumption of and addiction to drugs demands a regular
supply, which poses a financial burden for youngsters. For a large proportion of drug users, this
means resorting to illegal activities to sate their craving. This will ultimately lead to a surge in
juvenile delinquency and civil unrest which compromise the safety and development of the society.
In conclusion, youth drug use is a serious issue that is caused by parental examples and undue
pressure put on the youth. With their health and the safety of society at stake, a concerted effort from
the government and citizens to decrease drug use is necessary.

Youth drug abuse is a serious problem nowadays in many cultures. The reasons for this
behaviorbehaviour are unclear, but certain sociologists blame the examples set by their elders. As
long as adult drug consumption remains stable and parents still display their drug abuse tendency for
the children to see, the impressionable minds will still be affected. Consequently, children may have a
similar view towards illegal drugs, even if their parents are against their use. The pressure on young
people to perform well at school in order to compete for jobs is a possible cause of the problem. Many
believe they cannot live up to their parents' expectations, and feel a sense of hopelessness. Also, the
widespread availability of drugs means teenagers are faced with the temptation to experiment. Drugs
are used as a means of expressing dissatisfaction with the pressures they face in society. The effects of
abnormalabmormal use of drugs are well known. Many young people's talents are wasted, and
addiction to hard drugs can cost a user his or her life. Furthermore, those who drink and drive may be
involved in fatal road accidents. The cost to society is great, and enormous amounts of money are
spent on convicting drug dealers and on education programmes. To conclude, I recommend that the
only sensible way to solve this problem is to educate young people about the dangers of drug use, and
to take steps to reduce the pressure of competition placed upon them.
7.5 A lot of good ideas that need further development.

We can all agree that people in every advanced society use drugs, however, today's young generations
are increasingly getting into both legitimate and illicit drugs, especially at very early ages. This issue
is a result of various factors and can cause many unwanted effects on both the users and other people.
It is clear, as some sociologists assume, that being affected or tempted by parents or friends is the
number one cause. Children are desensitized by their parents who use drugs. They, they think that this
behavior is right because they see their mom and dad do it and eventually imitate them to try out the
harmful substances. Notwithstanding, friends and other members in the society seem to account for a
larger proportion of reasons why people taketaking drugs at young ages. Additionally, the
apprehension of being boycotted by their peers for not doing the same compels them to do so. For
instance, most teenagers view smoking as an act that decides whether a person is mature or not, they
hold the assumption that by smoking or even doing drugs, you can be more respected by others and
attract their romantic halfmore girls, leading to thousands of youngsters trying to involve themselves
in the detrimental activity. Another cause is people pushing the young to try, as they know that they
are still wet behind the ear and can easily be manipulated. A good example is the teens in poor
regions, they manage to earn money fast by selling the illegal substances and even result in addicting
to these.
The effects of drugs on people are traumatic. Addicted people are menaces to the innocentinnocennt,
they may not be able to control themselves and end up harming others. For example, vandalizing,
beating people, running in the streets or talking nonsense are much more common among some signs
of drug users. Additionally, Young people experimenting with those can destroy their mental capacity
and make themselves the burdens of the societies and even their families may face the fear of
prejudicesof the prejudices and criticisms throughout their lives. Societies whichwhere are rife with
addicted members can not be able to develop as there are fewer ones who can contribute and make
them grow.
Long story short, the reasons are clear and the effects it brings about are known by everybody. Each
of usWe, each person, should protect ourselves and help to repel the problem of drug abuse this as
well.
8.75 Very good paragraph with good development, reasoning, and example. You can improve by
outlining the arguments in the two body paragraph and the language.

Civilization brings many possibilities to human beings, those aren't additionally many alternatives
however additionally negativenegatively consequences. One of them is capsules, withinside the
beyond drug changed into invented to towards diseases, however in current society, specially young
adults and teenagers opt to use different ambitions with unlawful ways. Experts propose endorse dad
and mom parents and their environment inspire the usage of a drug to teenagers hazardously.
Nowadays, with globalizationwith the globalization and urbanization, human beings are forced with
the aid of irritatingof using irritating paintingpaintings hours, worrying lifestyles. Therefore, many
adults opt to use numerous drugs capsules to treattreatment their anxiety. However, it should be
takenit's miles taken into consideration that those sorts of drugs capsules result in
dependencydependancy if overusedoverusing. Hence, an addicted grownup negatively affectscan
horrific instance to their own circle of relatives members, specially young adults. For instance, if one
of the parentsdad and mom make overuse of capsules in day by day lifestyles, youngstersyoungster
who livelives with her/him might also additionally get used to this case and display adaptation.
Moreover, this age organization would really like to apply the sameidentical way. On the
otheropposite hand, the opposite purpose is acquiring an unlawfulacquiring unlawful drug issue. Most
of the nations can't be managed in this trouble properly, thus, youths benefit from unlawfulbenefit
unlawful capscapsules easily. Once young adults are addicted, theireach educational and social
lifestyles become adversely affectedcome to be trouble. In their grownup lifestyles, they'll now no
longer get a process and be homeless.
It is a plainan plain reality that felony and unlawful drug usagedrug the usage suggestsof suggests an
upward fashion in current society, and it ought to be moved to behave with the aid of using positive
authorities. First of all, in case you are dad and mom and need to use a prescription drug, you ought to
be privy to obligations to their children. Parents ought to take precautions to shield young adults, for
instance, they could cross psychiatry professionals to come to be wholesome as quickly as viable
withoutwith out the usage of capsules. The authorities ought to take immediateinstantly guidelines
aboutapproximately unlawful drug change secondly and young adults are unaware ofnotion to
negative outcomes with the aid of using the authorities' campaignauthorities's campaign.
In conclusion, the extra cognizance ofapproximately capsules is increasing, the higher shieldsshield
our destiny adults haveadults. We ought to understand the risks and play an lively role against drugs.
7.25 The language and organization could be improved. Bài này chỉ hỏi về nguyên nhân và hệ lụy của
việc lạm dụng thuốc trong giới trẻ vậy nên đoạn 2 về solutions là không cần thiết. Bài này có một số
phần thầy không hiểu ý em nên em có thể mail thầy bản bằng tiếng Việt để thầy có thể hiểu và chữa
lại phần language.

In this day and age, youth drug abuse has increased at an alarming rate, posting various undesirable
problems to societyto the society. Unaware of the full effects, adolescence might attempt
experimenting themselves with both legal and illegal drugs in their early age. The sociologists
believed that this concerning issue is through the fault of parents and adults. The following essay will
discuss the causes, effects and likely solutions to address the problem.
In the first place, it is true to say that drug usage is mainly due to the parents and the society. People
nowadays are living in the rat race, which leadslead to depressiondepressions and anxieties. Adults
consume drugs to remain active at work and to relieve mental health problems. For example,
celebrities who are always in the public eye, need drugs to comfort themselves and to distract their
attention from hate comments. This behavior will lead to an unhealthy lifestyle, and children will
follow suit.
Another reason is due to the fact that youths they are also facing too manyto many pressures
themselves. In particular, most youngsters are under high pressure to perform well at school. Youth
are pushed to do their best in academic performanceschooling, and this expectation drives them to use
both legal and prohibited drugs. Social media also contributes to this by overly promoting their
health-related products. Bodybuilding advertisements show how medicines may help them increase
their muscles in a short period. Though they appear flashy, continuing to use them without healthy
body- training methods will be harmful in the long run.
In conclusion, the onlyhe only approach to end this urgent problem is to organize drug awareness and
counseling programs. The citizens and the government should join hands to address this acute
problem, to educate teenagers about both sides of drug effects. These methods will ensure that our
society's teens enjoy a healthy life free of bad drugs.
7.5 Two paragraphs about the causes are straightforward and coherent. However, you have not talked
about the effects of drug abuse.

Stimulus usageStimulants usage is a burning issue in today's society. As more and more young people
take drugs in recent years, this situation has become more intricate and dangerous. According to some
sociologists, this is mostly due to the influence of those around them, and it is clear that this
phenomenon has a bad impact on society.
First and foremost, the family background makes a large impact on children. If the child is born in a
family with parents who use drugs or smoke, they tend to imitate their parents. It can be seen that
parents have made a bad example for their kids and quite naturally, children copy their parents.
Another reason is that teenagers are influenced by their peers. Many youngsters try to make an
impression that they are adults by using substances. As a consequenceconsequences teenagers in a
friend circle are prone to provoke affect each other and engage in criminal activities. To provide an
example, I've seen several of my innocent classmates eventually take drugs after getting with into bad
company at a very young age.
To put an end to drug abuse, society must band together to find a solution. The government should
limit drug usage by prohibiting the sale of narcotics and imposing severe punishments for those who
do. People should also propagate the negative effect and repercussions of drugs on the body and mind
through media or posters. Schools and families can take initiatives to educate children against
drugdrugs abuse. In that way, the young will be more conscious and avoid being addicted.
In conclusion, drug usage is a hazard to every individual as well as the entire nation. the
governmentgovernment and society should work together to take measures to protect the young
generation.
7.5 The paragraph about causes is simple and coherent. The score can’t be higher because you digress
in the second body paragraph.

Although there are a variety of factors causing illiteracythis problem, finance is probably the most
common reason which leads to illiteracy. Difficult living conditions together with high tuition feesfee
are putting pressurepressures on poor families, especially in developed countries like the USAlike
USA and Australia, where there is still a huge difference betweenamong the poor and the wealthy
people in the societies. As a result, children have to drop out of school to earn money to support their
families, despite the incompleteincompletion of educational levels. Another cause for this downward
trend of Illiteracy is the shortage of books in many families and stimulation as to the importance of
reading. Thanks to technology, these days, everyone cancould be accessible easily access anyto any
source of books. However, most people usually spend their time surfingtime on surfing the Internet or
playing games. According to the United Nations, one inone adult in three adults in thethree in the
world could not read, write or do a simple sum in writing, which is an alarming rate.
Illiteracy has a detrimentalan detrimental impact on the improvement of every society. The growth
rate is greatly slowed down as the number of adults with low literacy proficiency increases.
Furthermore, as uneducated individuals are incapable of developing themselves and struggling with
finding suitable jobs, illiteracy directly affects the economy by increasing the
unemploymentincreasing unemployment rate. This might result in a bigger problem: People start to
get involvedinvolve in doing illegal jobs, such as smugglers or drug dealers. Therefore, people really
need to take responsibility forresponsibilities of educating themselves and their children, for their
better lives, and for better nations, in the world.
The ability to read and write has long been the criteria to assess a person as well as a civilisation.
HoweverHowerver, the climbingclimbing illiteracy rate has been of significant concern to developed
countries in this modern world which affects many aspects of the society. Therefore, it is definitely
worthwhile identifying the causes and impacts of this trend.
8.5. There are progression in both the cause and and effect paragraph, which is good. In the second
body paragraph, however, you can elaborate more to show the serious consequences of drug use.
In my opinion, the decline of literacy is due to the advance of technology and the job demands in
those countries. Nowadays, people are doing an increasing amount of reading and writing on
electronic devices, which provide many assisting functionsfunction such as interpretationinterpretion
or auto-correction. As a result, many overrelies on these assistance to accomplish their task which
makes their literate capabilities rusty and even makes them reluctant to improve these fundamental
abilities. Besides, as the economy develops, jobs such as doctor, architecture or engineerengineeer are
becoming more desirable than ever. These jobs are inclined to require scientific knowledge rather than
evolving too much around literacy which lowerslower the status of literature in the student's
curriculum and eventually, makesmade a negative impact on the literacy rate.

huhu effects em nộp sau được không thầy :')

In modern timesmodern, people are in the habitin habit of taking drugs but teenagers are consuming it
irrespectiveconsuming irrespective of whetherof thinking whether it is legal or illegal. Some people
say that it is due to wrong teaching giventeaching was given by guardians and other people inof
society. In this essaythis, essay I will discuss some causes as well as effects of consuming drugs.
Today's youth try to experiment with new things without thinking about the ramifications or
outcomes. To begin with, the biggest reason he takes drugs stems from the people he lives with. In
most households, both parents work, causing kids to join the wrong fellowship and get indulged in
risky behaviors. Furthermore, because individuals currently have a lot of money, children receive
funds as pocket money and utilize that money for undesirable acts such as drug addiction. As a result,
it has far too many consequences. Children at a young age become addicted to narcotics, destroying
their health. Furthermore, it undermines children's careers as well as parent respect that they have
earned through hard effort.
7. Clear ideas but inadequate development

Nowadays more and more young people are experiencing drugs than ever before. The main causes of
this are family dysfunction and peer pressure. Firstly, issues from family such as parents' divorce,
might lead to lack of parental caring, causing the child to feel lonely and resort to drugs. Secondly,
many youngstersof youngster get addicted to drugs as a result of their peer group. The majority of
them admit that they feel forced to use drugs simplysimly because their friends do, and that this
helpshelp them feel like a part of the group. The increasing number of people addicted to drugs will
reduce the quality of life of the whole society. Crime rate will increase when addicts are willing to
break the law to have money to buy drugs. In summary, we need to take strong measures to solve the
above problems before the consequences it causes cannot be taken back.
7.5 Clear ideas but might be expanded in terms of development. Check the comment of the paragraph
before yours.

Nowadays, drug addiction is an alarming threat to any society in the world. Unfortunately, the rate of
drug addiction among young people is increasing and tends to be younger. According to some social
scientists, drug abuse is increasing due to many causes from parents, friends, etc. First, one of the
main reasons for this is the lack of knowledge about drugs among young people. They do not have a
clear understanding of drugs and are easily seduced by unhealthy external factors that pull into the
path of drug addiction. Listening to celebrities’ description of drug use without knowing its
detrimental effect on physical and mental health, for instance, the young might mistake drug use as
something light and normalized. Moreover, humans by nature are influenced by the activities of their
friends. Children who are in badin the bad company will most probably develop the same bad habits.
Next, it is an undeniable fact that the behavior of parents has a direct impact on children. If parents are
addicted to drugs or do not care to educate their children about this problem, their children will be
easily tricked into this path. Drug addiction has many negative effects on young people. Not only
education and health decline, but it will also cause many negative consequences for society later. In
short, the government and society should take some measures to protect its people, especially the
young generation, from this menace.
7.75 The “cause” part is good; there are a lot of ideas there, but you should provide examples here and
there to develop it. The “effect” part is kinda rushed, you might elaborate it by talking about the short
term and long-term consequences, specifically how education is affected (perhaps their mental
capacity is reduced by drug use) or how society is affected (drug use → ? → crime wave?)

Despite the use of drugs in all modern societies, today's youth are being exposed to both legal and
illegal drugs at an earlyat early age. It ishas been believed that there are several reasons for this
phenomenonoccurrence, and one of them which is claimed by some sociologists is the bad example
that parents and other citizens in a society set for on youngsters. It is an undeniable fact that parents
have the largest impacts on children, they frequently have a tendency to behave the same as their
parents do. Therefore, If a parent uses drugsdrug in front of their kids, they might as well want to try.
Another cause which is blamed for this matter is depression. In today's world, life is so demanding for
young people now, they have to meet so many problems like finding a jobfinding job or starting a
family. When they are so fed up with their stressful work, they will find drugs to comfort themselves.
Exposure to drugs can lead to addiction and it may also be very harmful to health. Taking drugs will
decrease young people's mental health, they are prone to be infected with HIV because of sharing
illegal drug needles. Moreover, people who use drugsdrug are likely to lose relationships and
opportunities in their lives. To conclude, there are a number of reasons leading to the widespread drug
use by young people, and the effects it brings about is enormous.
7.75 The effect part is a little rushed; there is little development for the ideas in this part. Although the
effects are apparent to us, we should still develop them with reasoning and examples

Illiteracy is burgeoning to be a pervasive problem in affluent countries of which the government of

one country is one of the culprits. In the process of developing a country, the leaders of one nation are
inclined to exhaustively examine the domestic economy, diplomatic services or other financial fields
at the expense ofthat they tend to unexpectedly ignore education's investment. When it comes to the
meetings of diplomatic and consular representatives' exchange, this must be the shortest but radical
way in reforming every aspect of one country. On the other hand, it is the environment where people
in a developing country grow up that directly affects their awareness of education training. In fast-
growing countries, people tend to favor practice over theory, a perception which is basedbases on
living witnesses such as Bill Gates or Steve Jobs dropping out of schools to pursue their dreams,
triggering negativetriggering off a negative trends for easily-misled people to follow. This issue can
cause the youngsters to leave schools to go outside working without any academic
knowledgeknowledges, imposing curbs on exploiting young talents' potential in one country.
Conclusively, the authorities should adopt fresh policies in education that encourage people to both
study theory and practice in real life to enrich their knowledge, gradually tackling illiteracytackling
with illiteracy.
7.5 The second cause is really interesting and developed. You haven’t talked about the effect though

Nowadays, illiteracy rates are slowly climbing upbecoming higher and higher. We often think that
illiteracy is a problem with third world countries only. However, it is getting clear that the literacy
rates in other countries are alsocountries also startingstart to decrease. In my point of view, this
problem will cause negative effects. In a modern and advanced society, people start to use technology
devices more and more. However, this causes a bad effect on education. We can see that
communicating is much easier than before. Instead of writing lettersletter, people can just text
eachtext to each other using a mobile phone. This has resulted in laziness for many people. High
illiteracy rates will affect the country a lot affect a lot to the country. For instance, people who have
illiteracy are often those who drop out of school. Without a proper education, they can't have a good
job or work to do, which will cause a negative effect on the country's economy.

There is a conventional belief that illiteracy rates are high only among underdeveloped nations.
However, it now seems that, in several developed countries, literacy rates are falling off. From my
viewpoint, this issue has had an adverse effect on both the health and social aspects and will be
discussed now. Firstly, difficult living conditions are one of the prominent reasons that bring about
illiteracy. Nowadays, a view of many children in underdeveloped countries that try to get jobs and,
thus, skip the education to help their families is considered usual. In addition, a large number of
people are unable to pay their school fees or even purchase materials in the face of poverty.
Consequently, those who have low literacy levels are more likely to have severe health outcomes,
experience unhealthy lifestyles, and getget a poor understanding of medicine. Furthermore, the
recent COVID-19 pandemic has highlighted the global lack of health literacy: thousands of people
have died because they do not follow the doctors' and professionals' advice to prevent this. Another
cause of illiteracy is learning disabilities that occur in a child. Some diseases such as dyslexia,
dysgraphia, auditory processing disorder, and whatnot, make it very difficult for someone to read,
write, and understand. According to researchto a research, there are about 985,000 people in England
who have a learning disability (approximately 2% of the general population). Therefore, individuals
with poor educational standards are more likely to have poorer employment opportunities, as well
as lower income. Moreover, there is a high likelihood that they will be on welfare, have low self-
esteem, and commit more crimes. To sum up, there are several possible causes to this problem, and it
has negatively affectedaffected negatively society and health.
8.25 To be honest, the score would be much higher if it weren’t for the organization. Note that this is
a cause and effect prompt, which can be visualized like this [causes] → [phenomenon/problem] →
[effects]. There is no need for a parallel between the causes and the effects and therefore, you should
not organize your ideas point-by-point. Otherwise, the arguments are sufficiently developed. The
second part of the effects are a little rushed, some more reasoning and examples might be needed.

Nowadays, the number of youths experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs at an early age is on
the increase. In my opinion, the foremost causes of widespreadwide spread drug use by young people
in modern societies are inadequate education and negative influence of those around themaround.
Today, standards of living have increased significantly and quality of education has considerably
improved; however, a lot of teenagers do not study properly and they disobey their teachers or
parents. As a result, they do not have knowledge of society's vices and tend to fall into social evils
including using illegal drugs. In addition, the widespread drug use is due to people around youth,
especially their parents or the ones who have a significant impact on them. Children are very
impressionableinnocent, and specifically, they cannot discernmake difference between right and
wrong., Therefore, so they would imitate the behaviorsbehaviours of people around them without
knowing whether those ones are right or wrong. Children in good families also imitate the kind
behaviorsbehaviours of their parents or those around, probably on account of the different
environment surrounding children. The possible effects of this problem consist of criminal tendency
and physical health problems. In the first instance, using drugs with no knowledge could lead to
addiction to drugs and teenagers would commit a crime. For example, as young people getgot
addicted to drugs, they do not have much money, they would become thieves to take the money with a
view to buying more drugs. Secondly, experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs too much could
contribute to the risk of developing some illnesses. For instance, using too manymuch
antibioticsantiobitics could turn beneficial bacteria into harmful bacteria. In summary, parents should
provide children with good education and set good examples for them to follow.
8.25 Although some parts are not absolutely logical, the paragraph is sufficiently developed. Your
example about antibiotic, though, might not be effective because hardly do people get high or
addicted to antibiotics so much so that they have such a negative effect.

Recent years have witnessed the domination of illiteracy in industrialized nations. This may stem
from the lack of attention from parents as well as the cultural aspect and it leads to a number of
alarming matters as outlinedas hence outlined in the following essay.
To commence with, the primary factor to take into account is the lack of vision and guidance to
children. Parents tend to work days and nights in order to bear their family expenses and the majority
of students after arriving from school are left unsupervised. Thus, it not only gives rise to a
sedentaryto sedentary lifestyle but also does notalso not give their whole mind to their study, which
leadslead to the fact that children fall into the category of illiterate persons.
A second point to consider is thatthat, it is true that, in the Western societies, adolescents observe their
parents struggling for a decent livelihood, which provokes them to find any sort of work and
eventually such kindskind of steps drag them away from their ultimate goal, that is education.
This inclination may potentially result in detrimental effects on society. One prominent issue may be
that not enough qualified students come through the educational system to supply the trained
workforce that certain branches of industry require for their research and development purposes. This
will, in turn, negatively affect national economic expansion, essential for raising living standards.
Another adverse impact concern is the proportion of imprisonment will increase gradually. Unlike
jobs that ask highlyask for highly educated employees to payemployees pay quite well, tasks that do
not involve readinginvolve in reading give out lower salaries. This could in turn lead to the possibility
of criminal acts such as stealing, robbing, and fraud, etc.
In conclusion, illiteracy is becoming a major problem in many developed countries annually. This has
led to largely negative influences on the development of a nation.
8.5 Good paragraph development. A point of improvement is that you can merge the causes together
to make one body paragraph and do the same thing for the effects.

The development of information and the internet causes the early approach in children and teenagers.
Without the ability to select information, they can see the scene of using drugs. On the other hand,
some sociologists believe that the younger generation follows the bad exampleinstance set by their
parents or other parts of society. This can be true since some teenagers have parents addicted to some
drugs, for example, nicotine (coming from cigarettes), alcohol (beers and wines), etc. Seeing people
smoking and doing drugs at an early age, children may assume that it is a cool act and want to imitate
it. Many researchers have pointed out the disadvantages of cigarettes and how it affects people's
health, especially the lungs. Nevertheless, it might be too late for young people to realize and stop .
Another cause is peer pressure. In the academic environment, it is popular that students compete in
grades, ranks,... every day. Suffering stress for a long time, they may get tempted towards drugs, from
legal to illegal to do what?. The consequence, however, causes a bad and long effect: they will be
weaker in both physical and mental health. In conclusion, the possible explanation for these youths
hooking on drugs is the affection of the surroundingsurrounded environment.
7.25
Ever since the start of the reformation of education systems in the 18th century, the rate of illiteracy in
most parts of the world has been experiencing a heavy downward trend, particularly in areas where
education used to be considered a rarity for the elites and nobles. With the rise in literacy among the
population, there have been many beneficial changes to the world as the economies of many nations
and the quality of life for many people have had immense improvements. However, in the modern
day, illiteracy has been seeing steady rises in most first-world countries; in particular, the USA and
Australia havehas been on the short end of the stick on this matter. This trend would certainly bring
about economical as well as educational setbacks. For instance, with reduced literacy rates, the
average person wouldn't be able to apply for a job since their illiterateness would prevent them from
making it through the assessment process. Even if they do luck it out, this issue would only be
amplified after they have been appointed as their illiterateness would ensure that they would have a
hard time doing their job. Consequently, this would result in a higher number of unemployed people.
Because of that, the world would miss out on a huge labor force contributing to the global economy,
possibly resulting in downfallsresulting downfalls in the value of the currencies exchanged throughout
the globe. With the consequences of this gradual increase in illiteracy rates, experts are rushing to
investigate why this phenomenon has become so prevalent. Most theories and suggestions for this
matter point to the availability of technology to the younger folks as the root cause. With such easy
access to mobile phones and the like, students in schools have been diverting their attention away
from their pages filled with knowledge accumulated throughout humanity's existence and onto the
bright, flashy, and colorful plexiglass screens of their smartphones and computers. As a result, the
younger generation are missing out on what little yet crucial knowledge they would need for a good
life later on. Another cause that is often pointed to is the simplification of many aspects of life. With
almost everything becoming simplified and easy-to-digest nowadays, the current and future
generations would miss out on what made the past generations exist long enough to conceive the
current ones. With the advent of the news on televisions and the like, less people see the need to read
newspapers, reducing their ability to read from a long paragraph full of information down to mere
lines of text that are more or less recaps of what is being presented. In short, the phenomenon of
increased illiteracy can be traced back to the simplification and condensation of most areas of life, as
well as rising access to modern technology for children. This would cause setbacks within not only
the economical fields of the world but also the education aspects of it.
9.25 I do feel like you are getting your message across but sometimes your language feels a little “văn
hoa”. This might be a difference of opinion on style though. I do recommend that instead of using
phrasal verbs, which you use a lot, you can integrate succinct, one-word vocabularies.

Causes: The first cause for drug adoption in youth is due to the influence of their parents, guardians,
and social groups. Some parents take drugs because they are under pressure at work and life while
others make it a routine and express interests in front of their children. These lead to young people's
psychological desire to consume the drugs in some countries all over the world, namely, the rate of
drug usage, particularly e-cigarettes, climbed by 2.6 percent in 2020 in Vietnam. Curiosity and a lack
of competent guidance seem to be reasons why many young people are leaning towards drug use.
Effects: The usage of the drugs at a young age has major repercussions. One of the effects is that these
drugs are affecting their physical and mental healthmental. Besides having some organs overactive
and absorbing numerous dangerous chemicals into the brain and lungs, they are likely to lose attention
in the absence of drugs. Another serious effect is that some of these young individuals might not
afford the drugs. In other circumstances, criminal behaviors such as money theft and looting are
provoked. This not only degrades the personality of each individual, but also poses a danger to
society.
7.75 Clear ideas but more development in reasoning and example is needed.
In my opinion, the furthermost causes lead to an increasingly early age of children experimenting with
illegal as well as legal drugs are the heavy huge life pressure and bad examples from their parents or
friends. Nowadays, from being born, children have been set such high expectations that they always
have to go any lengths to do everythingeverthing perfectly- the only way to please parents, teachers ,
…Studying well, doing sports, playing musical instrumentsintruments, positively taking part in social
activities,or even having good-look appearance are few of the examples. ,…How are children able to
cope with these when being very young and lackinglack of experience? They are usually compared
with other children being better than them. They will be exhausted from thatof that. As a result,
instead of pleasing everyone, they will disappoint them, trying substances. Not only that, another of
the main causes also attributed to this situation is bad effectseffect from the environmentfrom
environmenteviroment around. Also due to life pressure, their parents useusing drugs, which setsset a
frequent seeing for them to follow. From the world outside, friends pressuredpressed them to try new
substances, therefore, to fulfillfulfil their lack of sense ofsense of sense of belonging ness to a group,
children do. Providing such an advantageoussuch advantageous environment like that, it is
understandable that children’s drug addiction cases increase rapidly. Consequently, life quality falls
off dramatically and crimes in society go up out of control. Using drugs results in a lot of health
problems on bothin both the physical and mental side.They will become weaker and gradually depend
too much on drugs, which is drugdrugs abuse. They will be unablewill unable to think or do anything,
the production will decrease and life quality therefore go down. Besides that, criminal cases will
increase as the addicted will do everything when they loselost control because of hallucinationbecause
of hallucination stemmings from the drug'sfrom drug’s effect. As we can see there are more and more
massacres happen due to overdosed drugs. From this big problem, more facilities,hospitals are built to
treat these illnesses, which costs a lot of money of societies,government.
8.5 Despite a lot of grammatical mistakes, this is actually a well-developed paragraph with reasons
and examples. Keep up the work!
The problem of illiteracy has been considered more common in poor countries. However, nowadays
an increase in the number of illiterates in developed nations is becoming more obvious. The reasons
behind this inclination are the advancement of technology and decrease in studying interest. Firstly,
the progressive science background of some countries has made people lazier. The information is
always on hand and easily accessed. People no longer have to research on data or even study the basic
understanding since artificial intelligenceintelligent will tackle most problems for them. Secondly,
many children prefer playing games to learning schoolwork. So while pupils are learning, they could
actually take in little knowledge. Moreover, universities are not the best option for students in recent
days. Hence, some people would prefer to join the workforce and make money rather than continue
higher education. This has shown that youngsters in many countries have lost interest in studying in
early days. In terms of the consequences, proneness to inability to read and write in developed
countries has caused detrimental effects on social life. People who lackPeople lack educationof
education usually end up in poverty. This is because Unqualified people are often not accepted in
most enormous companiescompany so they work as blue-collar workers. These occupations are
mostly underpaid and entail heavy workload. There are also uneducated people who fallpeople fall in
dire straits and choosestraits choose to commit crime to earn money. They can do anything from a
small robbery to a murder. According to some researchresearches, some serious criminal acts are
triggered by the ignorant class. Lastly, a nation cannot improve if there are no intellectuals. A rise in
illiteracy rate will slacken the development of the economy and the whole country. In summary,
innovation in machinery and lack of curiosity in education has caused illiteracy’s rate to rise in
advanced countries and this has damaging impacts on the socialon social life of the citizens.
8.5 Good paragraph with development through reasons and examples. You might consider using more
connective devices between sentences though.

Many parents who do not spend time with their children will cause their children to simply do what
they want,want like such as playing all day, dropping out of school, or even being addicted. This is
one of the biggest causes of illiteracy. Moreover, technology is also a cause of illiteracy. Technology
brings a lot of benefits to humans but also makes them depend on it. For example, websites that
automatically write articles, they can self-select information and create a completely new article in a
short time just by filling in the topic. This results in laziness among people and makes their writing
ability is impaired. In addition, there are still lots of children who do not have access to education.
The reason is mostly because of their family's inability to pay tuition fees. Fortunately, this issue is
receiving great attention from the government and benefactors, creating a lot of opportunities for
many children to go to school.
In order to completely solve the problem of illiteracy, it is necessary to take specific measures for
each cause of this problem. As mentioned above, children who are not educated will not be qualified
to have a job with a stable salary. Instead, they may be manipulated to commit violationscommit have
violations of the law. To prevent that from happening, parents should be aware of this and take care of
their children more. Furthermore, people should have self-consciousnesshave the self-consciousness
about the harms of technology and limit the use of technology.
7 An introduction is missing. The parts about the causes are clear and mostly sufficiently developed.
However, you lạc đề because it asks for “causes and effects”, not “causes and solutions”.