INTRODUCTION

In this study there are two sections where the first sections are defining the meaning of
attachments, stages of attachments and signs of attachments. The second section is all about
my own experience that I went through during the pandemic about the communication ability
of a child.

Early childhood is the most critical time for positive intervention. Children’s development
during this stage is strongly affected by their environment, and that effect continues to exert a
strong influence on the rest of their lives. It is of the utmost importance that educational and
life skills programmes.

Question 1

Attachment is one specific and circumscribed aspect of the relationship between a child and
caregiver that is involved with making the child safe, secure and protected. The purpose of
attachment is not to play with or entertain the child (this would be the role of the parent as a
playmate), feed the child (this would be the role of the parent as a caregiver), set limits for the
child (this would be the role of the parent as a disciplinarian) or teach the child new skills
(this would be the role of the parent as a teacher). Attachment is where the child uses the
primary caregiver as a secure base from which to explore and, when necessary, as a haven of
safety and a source of comfort.

Attachment is not ‘bonding’. ‘Bonding’ was a concept developed by Klaus and Kennell who
implied that parent-child ‘bonding’ depended on skin-to-skin contact during an early critical
period. This concept of ‘bonding’ was proven to be erroneous and to have nothing to do with
attachment. Unfortunately, many professionals and nonprofessionals continue to use the
terms ‘attachment’ and ‘bonding’ interchangeably. When asked what ‘secure attachment’
looks like, many professionals and nonprofessionals describe a ‘picture’ of a contented six-
month-old infant being breastfed by their mother who is in a contented mood; they also often
erroneously imply that breastfeeding per se promotes secure attachment. Others picture
‘secure attachment’ between a nine-year-old boy and his father as the father and son throw a
ball in the backyard, go on a fishing trip or engage in some other activity. Unfortunately,
these ‘pictures’ have little, if anything, to do with attachment, they are involved with other
parental roles (eg, their role as a caregiver in the case of the breastfeeding mother and as a
playmate in the case of the father and son playing catch in the backyard). One might ask why
the distinction between attachment and ‘bonding’ matters. The answer may lie in the fact that
‘bonding’ has not been shown to predict any aspect of child outcome, whereas attachment is a
powerful predictor of a child’s later social and emotional outcome.

There are four types of infant-parent attachment: three ‘organized’ types (secure, avoidant
and resistant) and one ‘disorganized’ type. The quality of attachment that an infant develops
with a specific caregiver is largely determined by the caregiver’s response to the infant when
the infant’s attachment system is ‘activated’ (example, when the infant’s feelings of safety
and security are threatened, such as when he/she is ill, physically hurt or emotionally upset;
particularly, frightened). Beginning at approximately six months of age, infants come to
anticipate specific caregivers’ responses to their distress and shape their own behaviours
accordingly (example, developing strategies for dealing with distress when in the presence of
that caregiver) based on daily interactions with their specific caregivers (7–9). Three major
patterns of responses to distress have been identified in infants, which lead to three specific
‘organized’ attachment patterns.

When a mother gives birth to her child, it is an example of an attachment. Attachment is the
court document ordering something be taken by law, and the actual act of taking it. An
example of an attachment is a court document demanding a car be seized for non-payment,
and immediately returned to the dealership.

b.

Attachment is the deep emotional bond between a baby and the person who provides most of
their care. Just as most parents feel a strong connection with their newborn after birth, babies
also become attached to their parents. Attachment takes place throughout a child’s
development, but this document focuses on babies.

Attachment develops as you respond to your baby’s needs in warm, sensitive and consistent
ways. This is especially important when your baby is sick, upset or distressed. Attachment
also builds as you go about your daily routines with your baby, caring for them and
interacting with them.

A baby’s first attachment usually happens quite naturally. The baby cries, and we try to give
them what they need: a feeding, a cuddle, or a diaper change. When you respond, your baby
learns that they can trust you, and depend on you for comfort and to feel safe. As you get
better at knowing what your baby is telling you and meeting their needs, your baby feels less
stress.
Responding quickly to a baby’s cries is the best way to show them that they are safe and
loved. It should not be confused with “spoiling”. Babies cannot be spoiled. When they’re
sick, upset or distressed, they need to know that you are there for them.

Attachment involves two people interacting, sharing, and connecting. As you respond to your
baby’s needs, your baby will respond to you. You’ll notice that it becomes easier to soothe
them, that they want to be near you, and that they react to you even from a distance. Holding,
rocking or talking softly to your baby all promote attachment.

While a baby’s first attachment is usually with their mother, the bonds that babies form with
their fathers are just as important. Though babies form attachment relationships with other
adults who care for them, the bonds with their parents are the most important ones.

Attachment refers the particular way in which you relate to other people. Your style of
attachment was formed at the very beginning of your life, during your first two years.  Once
established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate
relationships and in how you parent your children. Understanding your style of attachment is
helpful because it offers you insight into how you felt and developed in your childhood. It
also clarifies ways that you are emotionally limited as an adult and what you need to change
to improve your close relationships and your relationship with your own children.

Early Attachment Patterns

Young children need to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver in order for
their social and emotional development to occur normally. Without this attachment, they will
suffer serious psychological and social impairment. During the first two years, how the
parents or caregivers respond to their infants, particularly during times of distress, establishes
the types of patterns of attachment their children form.  These patterns will go on to guide the
child’s feelings, thoughts and expectations as an adult in future relationships.

Secure Attachment:

Ideally, from the time infants are six months to two years of age, they form an emotional
attachment to an adult who is attuned to them, that is, who is sensitive and responsive in their
interactions with them. It is vital that this attachment figure remain a consistent caregiver
throughout this period in a child’s life. During the second year, children begin to use the adult
as a secure base from which to explore the world and become more independent. A child in
this type of relationship is securely attached. Dr. Dan Siegel emphasizes that in order for a
child to feel securely attached to their parents or care-givers, the child must feel safe, seen
and soothed.

Avoidant Attachment:

There are adults who are emotionally unavailable and, as a result, they are insensitive to and
unaware of the needs of their children. They have little or no response when a child is hurting
or distressed. These parents discourage crying and encourage independence. Often their
children quickly develop into “little adults” who take care of themselves. These children pull
away from needing anything from anyone else and are self-contained. They have formed
an avoidant attachment with a misattuned parent.

Ambivalent/Anxious Attachment:

Some adults are inconsistently attuned to their children. At times their responses are
appropriate and nurturing but at other times they are intrusive and insensitive. Children with
this kind of parenting are confused and insecure, not knowing what type of treatment to
expect. They often feel suspicious and distrustful of their parent but at the same time they act
clingy and desperate. These children have an ambivalent/anxious attachment with their
unpredictable parent.

Disorganized Attachment:

When a parent or caregiver is abusive to a child, the child experiences the physical and
emotional cruelty and frightening behavior as being life-threatening. This child is caught in a
terrible dilemma: her survival instincts are telling her to flee to safety but safety is the very
person who is terrifying her.  The attachment figure is the source of the child’s distress. In
these situations, children typically disassociate from their selves. They detach from what is
happening to them and what they are experiencing is blocked from their consciousness.
Children in this conflicted state have disorganized attachments with their fearsome parental
figures.

c.

Most infants develop secure emotional attachments to their caregivers at an early age. They
show healthy anxiety when their caregiver is absent, and they show relief when they’re
reunited.
Some infants, however, develop attachment disorders because their caregivers aren’t able to
meet their needs. These babies are unable to bond with their caregivers and they struggle to
develop any type of emotional attachment.

Attachment disorders are treatable, but early intervention is important. Without treatment,
children with attachment disorders may experience ongoing issues throughout the course of
their lives.

Infants who experience negative or unpredictable responses from a caregiver may develop an
insecure attachment style. They may see adults as unreliable and they may not trust them
easily. Children with insecure attachments may avoid people, exaggerate distress, and show
anger, fear, and anxiety. They may refuse to engage with others.

Children’s behaviour can be influenced by a wide range of circumstances and emotions. 

Indicators that a baby or toddler might not have a secure attachment with their caregiver will
emerge as a pattern of behaviour over time, particularly during moments of stress or
exploration. This pattern might include:

 being fearful or avoidant of a parent or carer

 becoming extremely distressed when their carer leaves them, even for a short amount
of time

 rejecting their caregiver’s efforts to calm, soothe, and connect with them

 not seeming to notice or care when their caregiver leaves the room or when they
return

 being passive or non-responsive to their carer

 seeming to be depressed or angry

 not being interested in playing with toys or exploring their environment

Children with attachment issues may have problems expressing or controlling their emotions
and forming positive relationships, which might affect their mental health. Hence, it’s
important to make sure children and young people have access to mental health support.
Question 2
Self-reflection.

Take a moment to reflect on your communication situation with your child or relative child
especially during the MCO period. Then, answer the following questions:

1. Describe your communication with the child or your’s relative child before and
during MCO
2. Do you think that your communication with them is at a very satisfactory level?
Justify.

1.

In my own experience, when Covid-19 virus been spreading furiously all over the world our
country Malaysia also had to go through the pandemic too. After the announcement of
Movement Control Order in March 2020 I had to stay back at my aunt’s house as I couldn’t
travel back home. My aunt has a 5 year old child where he hardly speaks to anyone at home
as he is too much into the mobile phone. He watches YouTube, cartoons and play games via
mobile. As a result, he was not able to utter even a word till the age of five. Everyone of us
was very worried as he went to many check-ups and therapists yet there is no any changes.

MCO and pandemic were both good things to all of us where both my aunt and uncle had to
work from home and even we eat at least 2 meals together everyday. Previously we all will
be out to work early in the morning and back home late in the evening where we all don’t get
to even greet each other but this pandemic has changed all our lifestyles.

We actually speaks to him more often and whenever I talk I will ask him to watch my lips
movement which might help him to speak out. It is just to boost his confident level as he is
very scared to say a word where he is afraid it might be wrong. I, my aunt and uncle spent a
long time with him where even at night I will read him stories and I asked his parents to take
away his gadgets. At first he was sad about it then I managed to convince him and made him
understand that there is a beautiful world and life beyond the gadgets. We played a lot of
games at the space outside of the house. He felt the different atmosphere where previously he
was with his caretaker whom don’t really pays attention on him just make sure he eats, sleep
and watches his cartoons.

He then saw the birds chirping, the sound of the rain and many more. He then one day made
the birds chirping sound, we were all shocked at the same time we were happy as he opens
his mouth and makes sound. We all praised him so that he would feel he had accomplished
something. We then rewarded him with a gift of his choice as a reward.

After some time he starts to say ‘Ma’ which is mother in Tamil. He slowly learned one by
one words each and everyday. Surprisingly, after 8 months on 27th November he was able to
speak a full sentence where he asked for food when he is hungry and so on. We were all was
in the flood of joy as after five years he could speak out and utter words.

2.

I personally think that my communication with my five-year old cousin brother is at very
satisfactory level as I will spend more time with him speaking words.

Most of us don't even wait for people to finish a sentence before we chime in with what we
have to say. A good rule of thumb is to wait 5-10 seconds for your child to answer. It gives
your child time to process what they want to say. This can also prevent or
diminish stuttering in some children. I waited patiently and I did not rushed him to speak out.

If you demand that your child say a sound correctly, especially if it is a sound that doesn't
develop until they are older......please stop!

Over correcting is the exact opposite way of how to improve communication skills.

The more you demand they say something right, the worse it may likely get. You don't
want to make talking and saying speech sounds a negative thing, because they just might stop
doing it altogether. Analogy time: Trying to "make" your child talk or say a sound "right" is
like trying to tell someone who can't cook, to cook better.

This can be tricky to balance. You need to talk to them as if they are adults but still
remember they are children.
Talking with them like an adult doesn't mean use adult vocabulary, jokes, or information they
won't understand. It means take turns, use eye contact, and value what they say. As for
younger children, there will many times they say something you don't understand (gibberish),
but again, take your turn, make your best guess about what they are talking about and reply to
them......even if you're not sure what they're talking about. Don't talk to them in baby talk all
the time. It's O.K. every now and again, but after they are about 9 months old, try to limit
how much you do it.

I'm not talking about being a good "role model", although you need to be that too, I mean a
good speaking model. If you want to build strong speech and language skills in your child,
you need to show that you have skills yourself. A good rule of thumb for how to improve
communication skills is to talk slightly above your child's level. That way they will be
stretched enough to keep building their skills.

I'm not just talking about books either, we'll discuss reading books to your children in a
second. Read the back of the cereal box, people's shirts, and signs on the street. The more
exposure your child has to speech sounds and language structure, the sooner they will begin
to understand it. When reading books, keep in mind you don't have to read them word for
word. Instead...simply look at the pictures and talk about what you see. For example...When
reading Cinderella, you might say "Oh no she lost her shoe" or "those mice turned into
horses", etc.

This accomplishes two things.

1. Your child learns to use their imagination.

2. Your child builds/strengthens their receptive and expressive language skills.

Especially when your children are young. They need to hear sounds and words at least 100
times before they will even start trying to say it. Don't limit how many times you say the
same word. I use an example of Dora the Explorer where one of the songs they sing is about
her Map. In one short song they say the word 12 times. Repetition is the key to
learning......and it is how to improve communication skills.

Hence, give child an abundance of time and never leave them alone with electronic gadgets
as they will never know how to limit it. So, as a good parent or parent-to be ensure that your
child is the identity of your upcoming generations.
Conclusion

Observing and monitoring child development is an important tool to ensure that children
meet their ‘developmental milestones’. Developmental milestones (a ‘loose’ list of
developmental skills that believed to be mastered at roughly the same time for all children but
that are far from exact) act as a useful guideline of ideal development.

By checking a child’s developmental progress at particular age markers against these

arbitrary time frames, it allows a ‘check in’ to ensure that the child is roughly ‘on track’ for
their age. If not, this checking of developmental milestones can be helpful in the early
detection of any hiccups in development. This ‘check’ is usually carried out through
child/mother services and Paediatricians as infants and toddlers, and later through preschool
and school term skills assessments.