i*

i
. ^m> &

p.

\ I

tm.

{
I
1
4

wwoFKwwsftwiwKw

"/ felt the tremors in

Saudia Arabia^ Now 1
wear dark glasses." I
:m
 Ray Flynt, former Mercyhust needed extra c r e d i t , " he frames from the film in a special
Criminal Justice professor, has explained. "French" issue of the magazine,
been named the " Brain Behind but*was convicted before he got
the Operation," j by recently- Ray, Larry said, was the first to the chance. "My brother Ray will
convicted Larry Flynt, u former come to him with the original probably use the idea," he said.
"Hustler" editor, * and f Ray's "Hustler" concept. "He's always stolen my ideas."
brother.!
'\"He came to me with the idea
"I know nothing about the of a perverted "Playboy" - one in Ray, without the influence of
charges," said the professor, really poor taste," Larry said, his brother Larry, has made the
shuffling papers around his desk "and I liked it." magazine into a campus
and throwing old magazines into bestseller. %
drawers. "I've never even (seen) a At first, Larry explainedjRay
Hustler magazine." wanted to collaborate with Barry "It's our (hottest) item" Ruth
Grossman in his "Obscenity and Truitt told "The Star." We put
However, Larry Flynt, in a Pornography" ;class.* However,
cellblock interview, was almost Grossman thought the live models the magazine in the new "Star"
praiseworthy of the former to be a little too (stimulating) for boxes on Tuesday, after the paper
teacher's part in the "Hustler" college students. is gone.\It's a convenient way of
\ attracting student to our publica-
empire.
tion," she said. "The box at St.
"I couldn't have done it One student, Laura Ruby, sub- Mark's is our fastest mover."£
without him," Larry revealed. mitted an original film for discus-
"He has been such a wonderful sion, (Laura Does Luxemburg) - "It's a &+!?- lie," Ray said.
influence in my life, sending me with French subtitles for the class. "My name doesn't even appear in
girls to use in the magazines. They Larry said he wanted to use the staff box on page four."
All Students
Majors

Now is the time to become

a voice in The Mercyhurst
Student Government Run
for the position of your
department's
I representative.

Letters ofjintent are due in the MSG

I office by
Monday, April 9 at 3 p.m. i 1

Happiness is
hearing a
Dick Garcia
joke. Het this
*

Happiness is
* * *

opportunity
V
Geology with you
Kent Taylor.
* • • •

TH E START
 The Federal Bureau of In-
vestigations is in the midst of a
massive crackdown on the
members of the so called "Maid
Gang." jj. i ! 1 f they have been linked to the HRM
This group has been connected
in the recent disappearance of the
antique chair that has been miss-
ing from the chapel foyer in Old
Main. j* J ' ' J "No Comment" and proceeded
Undercover investigator, John.
Nee, former captain of the Pitt-
sburgh police force, is currently
working on the investigation. Ac-
cording to Dr. William P. Garvey,
president of Mercyhurst, "John is
doing a very good job along with
Barb Hanley senior criminal
justice and corrections major."
One response for Hanley's ap-
pointment is because she keeps a
low profile hiding in the dishroom
under the famous "Bup baseball
cap."
One of the major suspects in the
case: and supposed leader of the
gang and eight year member of
Bertha'a broom and duster corps
is currently being sought out. §
A federal grand jury has in-
dicted two "maids" in the heist
already.?They were: Mary Collins,
admissions counselor and Rich
Lanzillo fellow counselor. When
Mary was asked why she replied
to slam the door in the. reporter's
face. "I really didn'twant the new
prospective freshmen to use the
furniture because it looks better in
my apartment," Lanzillo cried as
he was whisked away them by the
Erie PD. If f * l f |
As many as four more may be
subjects of indictments in the
months to come according, to
Special Agent George Garrelts
associate of theology. Garrelts has
been one of the conductors of the
investigation because of the
closeness of the situation of the
chapel. Garrelts was not willing to
reveal the name of the 6t hers even
though "The Star" seems to think
and Interior Design departments.
John (Joannie) Wolper,
Management'instructor, known
for his transexual "Tootsie" look
is one of the ^primary suspects.
Although nothing has been con-
firmed, other! people in the
department are being investigated
too. £; <j * J ^
|£ Attire for the "Maid Gang" in-
cludes a black smock and pants,
with a ton to mask. Most can be
found sneaking around old Main
with the usual maid attire, fin-
eluding rag in hand, and pulling a
AMAZING WEIGHTILOSS
bucket. Anyone ^seeing l a BEFORE AFTER
suspicious? maid I should contact
Marshall Lily, security officer. H

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone. missing, more than g$l,000iin with contrasting trim and argyle
1 just needed the money," a tear- unaccounted for SAC funds, f i socks!and five inch black patent
ful Laura Copney, former SAC "I can.account for every pen- leather shoes (borrowed from Jim
Chairperson told "The Star" in ny," said Christie Smith, SAC Infantino). "We borrowed it. We
an exclusive interview. W -: s treasurer and I creative book! had every intention of repaying it
*'I don't know what came over keeper. " I also bought a pair of by selling the new union furniture
me. It was like a compulsion. The platform shoes," she added. this summer. We already? have
money screamed, 'Take; me!' Spotted recently in the. Virgin bids from several buyers."
Besides, all I could think of was Islands with unidentified SAC of- "I realize we were wrong, said
the trip John, Christie and I were ficers, Smith said, "the three of us a penitent Laura Copney. "I plan
going to take to Grenada." raised this money through car to make up for every penny I have
£i The money was discovered washes and pencil and apple sales taken."? M 1
missing from the SAC budget dur- - it has nothing to do with SAC." | ' j Hang Laura!'' said , J u n i o r
ing a recent "audit by Sheila "Laura's right," admitted J. Scott* Mangold. "It's cases like I just don't feel good "I've been working out at
Delaney for her taskplforce. Russell Jones, sporting a new these that make the dealth penalty about myself. I can 7 even fit Nautilus for 6 months and lost
Delaney and her team discovered polyester* lime green pleasure suit a must." he added. in the radio station anymore," 12 ounces. See my cute pecs!"
Continued on pg. 6 said Steve Curcio. I W> *

This summer the Glenmary Home

Missioners, a society of Catholic
UPCOMING SAC EVENTS priests and Brothers, are offering
opportunities for Catholic men to
serve the poor of Appalachia.
Friday, March 30: These volunteer programs will
Back by popular demand, enhance your perception of those
in need. Come and learn with
Bob Bens from Mystic Glenmary. Your choice of week-
gNight, Aura -billet long sessions is available as
I readings, BPC, 50' follows: '1
J May 19-25,1984
Saturday, March 31 June 9-15,1984
July 21-27,1984
Cleveland Trip, Sign up at August 4-10,1984
Student Union Desk, $2.00
For more information, please complete the coupon
April 6: below and forward it to: Reverend Jerry Dorn, Glenmary
1 ToplHatClub, Home Missioners,
\z Box 46404, Cincinnati, Ohio 45246.
m 2 buses will be going. Name
Sign up details will be announced College Year of Study
at a later date. -•. ? Address
City_i_ State
Mr. Fingers is coming! Telephone (.

THE STAR
 As a project forsiDr. Michael won't have to tear up the Tennis day," said Gary Bukowski,
McQuilien's vNuclear Weapons Courts to build parking lots." Direcor* of Alumni Relations-
Seminar, an Atomic Bomb was 'Hurst senior Brentt Scarpo Annual Giving.! I
dropped on the west side of the said, "the nuclear blast didn't ef- Director of Student Services, E.
Mercy hurst Campus. fect|me, I lost all my^iriendsl a William Kennedy immediately
In a heroic effort, Sharon Sisco long time ago." ;& ** after the blast sent out but memos
snapped an exclusive front page On a more serious note, Sr. to all students saying that the en-
photo of "The Star" before being Eymard Poydock was devastated tire campus grounds are off limits
blown to pieces. by the blast. "Not only is all my to pick up football games because
Several Mercyhurst ad- Vitamin C gone, but my plants of the state of the lawns.
ministrators, faculty, and were killed too. What am I going
students have been directly ef- to sell now?" I J "Students are not permitted to
fected by Erie's first nuclear blast. walk on campus.lawns until fall
"Thank God the Dairy Queen jSAC Chairperson J.| Russell term," Kennedy added. "We
was just missed," said Director of Jones said, "it's not my job to have to re-seed the whole darn
Housing and Safety, Phyllis clean up after* this, that's area. Starting fall' term, to walk
Aiello. Cherico's job." p on the lawn, students will have to
Maintenance Director Bill Ducz I "With all the phone lines down, reserve a walking permit at the
was grateful saying, "at least I I was lost. Ifwent home for the Campus Center," he said.^
&af&&Ktt»ttfftAtttta<

'.*m

7 lost all I my
teeth in the blast.
i W r t W ^ . v ^ y W 9 > \»
Now I can't eat
The Rebuilding Phase Class leader prepares t o annihilate the west side of'the campus.. ^m

If you have at least two years of college left,

you can spend six weeks at our Army ROTC
Basic Camp this summer and earn approximately
$600, i Ig I
I And if you qualify, you can enter the ROTC
2-Year Program this fall and receive up to $1,000
a year. i
But the big payoff happens on graduation day.
That's when you receive an officer's commission.
So get your body in shapei(not to mention
your bank account).
Enroll in Army ROTC. For more information
contact your Professor of Military Science.
ARMY ROTC. f
BE ALLYOU CAN BE.
CONTACT: Carl Graves'orfLou Ovnic
J Zurn 338, Gannon University
871-7524 456-8376
TH6 STAR

Dear Matt,
iseemtohavethiscompulsion-
torunallmywordstogetherin-
tolineswithnospacesand nocapita-
1 1 e t t e r s o r p u n c t;u a -
tionscouldyouconsultyourexpert-
sandseewhatiswrongwithme ims-
quare. *• j.
Dear Mr. Square, I have spoken
with several experts on your pro-
blem and they have come up with
the conclusion that it is a result of
one of two things. Either your
an after dinner mint. This is no understand way. My wardrobe
problem either though J it does consists of fwide ties, platform
have its drawbacks. My problem shoes, and plaid jackets. I shop at
is that my husband has been sleep-the "Warren ^Process Clothing
ing with another woman. This on- Outlet, jPolyester Palace," the
ly happened since;, I have been anfashion, hot-spot of Erie so, I
after dinner mint. But since my know it's not that. My problem is
husband bought me I have to sit that* I like to wear women's
around the house and \ watch. underwear, especially in the
What should I do? After Eight in shower, but I know a lot of people
Dodge City. that do it. It's almost as big a fad
Dear After, as break dancing. Why doesn't
I suggest you climb out of youranybody love me? Why can't I
box and confront your husband find black lace underwear that fits
and tell him how you feel. i;He me right? Help!!!| Signed
might not talk you seriously, but Misunderstood at Mercyhurst.
then again who would.• He will Dear Misunderstood,
probably tear off your foil and eat Someone who !shops at the
you but you would have a tough Polyester Palace? What makes
time convincing a jury that it wasyou think I can help you?fGet
rape especially since you'd be with the times, K-Mart is the place
gone. My advice to you is to go to shop. I think you will find that
for it and hope that next time youwomen's underwear is cheaper
come back as a tape-worm, f there too. As for the wife, perhaps
"sharing" underwear would bring
Dear Matt, V | you closer-ask her for\ fashion
I don't wish my identity to be suggestions. \

brain is screwed up, or you are be-
ing brought up in and confined to
a cardboard box.
disclosed so I won' itell you my
name. I will say tht I'm a short
Italian administrator. Girls are
constantly coming in and out of &•
or *i

Dear Matt, * » my office for jobs - but none of

i l need your advice and trust me them like me. No woman likes me
I am not lying to you. This really including my wife. But I don't v

happened to me.Tl fell ofr a chair SfcWSS

in my kitchen, split my head open

and died. This, however, is not
my'problem. I was no sooner
buried than I was reincarnated as

Richy Garcia has chip-

munks, chickens, mice, a iilllR
few birds for friends -
and likes it that way!

11 Convenient Locations
4319 Peach Street k 1311 Broad Street *
McVoHatd's 2170 East Lake Road 1115 Sassafras Street
909 Peninsula Drive 4316 Buffalo Road
2650 West 26th Street Imperial Point Plaza, Girard
Millcreek Mall *£*! *3 Interstate 90 and 97, I i
430 State Street State St Exit f a
Mr. Sam Covelli
Owner-Operator

r ENTRY FORM G

McDonatd's STAR DARYL DOLL|

P.O. Box 222 Daryl Point, New York 12979 %
»TH
| Please put my entry in the STAR Daryl Doll Contest
on the following basis: (check one) \
D I would like to become a subscriber. I've enclosed $4.99
for a 16 week trial subscription. Also please enter my
name in the STAR Doll Contest. '•¥'
Buy Any Large Sandwich, D I would like to become a subscriber. I've enclosed $14.99
for 52 Issues of STAR. Also please enter my name in the
Get A Second One FREE STAR Daryl Doll Contest. | | "k-V
D I do not wish to become a subscriber. Please enter my
Good at any Erie and Girard, PA McDonald's name in the STAR Daryl Doll Contest.*
Operator for reimbursement NAME )

McDonald's, P.O. Box 4048

Erie. Pa. 16512 One coupon per customer per visit. ADDRESS
Cash value 1/20 of a cent
( CITY STATE ZIP
L
THE STAR
 X

In a bizzare revelation that has shared a KC Foods lunch and had

rocked the Mercyhurst communi- a father-son type talk in the Grot- -'THE 1983 YEARBOOK will
ty, Admissions Director Andrew to." Dunn continues, "I decided be distributed in 1985.
Roth has admitted that Freshman I'd come tofrhe 'Hurst to get to
know him better. I envied his per- - DAVE ROBINSON will be
sonalty, his lifestyle, his bow, tie, hired by a national firm to sell
everything about him.",For pro- VCR units.
fessional reasons iDunn will .not
-?THE LADY LAKERS team
* 'I knew will turn around their 1-20 record
to become Division II Champions
in the 1984-85 season.
this place felt ft
- DEAN PALMER'S hair will
like home.' 1 SfS*—
J&^3§%
* «
grow back.
- STEVE CURCIO will leave
adopt Roth's surname, v ¥ Mercyhurst 'to pursue a fashion
modeling job in New York City.
Since his full-time arrival at
Mercyhurst, Dunn and Roth have
grown closer. Fishing trips to the - IF YOUR BILL is not paid a
Docks, "bachelor" shopping ex- week into new classes, not only
peditions to Golden Dawn, and will you be taken off the roster,
"He ain't heavy, he's my and kicked out of your dorm or
late night father-son chats in the son," says Roth about the re-
dorm room, have seemingly eras- apartment, John Maus will send a
cent "baby" announcement. certified letter to your parents ex- $
"It's so nice to have a guy ed the years of separation. (This cozy family photo is an
For Denis Dunn, this Father's plaining they will be sentenced to j !
like Roth for my father," says exclusive STAR file photo. the*electric chair if the balance
Dunn. Day will have new meaning. isn't paid.
MSG representative*Denis Dunn
is his cloned son. - GARY KEENAN will be
I seems that while Roth attend- named man of the year at
ed John Carroll University in nor- Mercyhurst.
•

thern Ohio, he volunteered for

various genetic experiments per-
formed by the Science Depart-
ment and the end result is the pre-
sent Denis Dunn. 4 j ^ MtBI
^^Mt took the Genetic Engineer-
ing Research Team a few years to
track me down,".admits Roth in
an exclusive^interview. "I was
shocked to know I am responsible
for Dunn's biological being. But I
am also pleased because Denis is a
fine boy." Off the record Roth is
adament that he will not pay child
support. I
- STEPHANIE WEIDMAN
starts her own female punk band,
"Wolper's^Wild Women^ a n d ^
departs for a 57 city tour. 1
ETDMAN:
- - MARIA SANTANGELLO - A ^RUNAWAY CREW
will be available for comment. SHELL carrying eight crew
members! of awesome strength
"But they're cousins! It isVno mere coincidence that 39
- ON APRIL 15ithe Mer- row out from the waters of Pres-
Dance Instructor Lawrence Jones (L.) and Philosophy Pro- cyhurst football team will get all que Isle onto land in search of a
fessor Joseph Filonowicz resemble each other. The only dif- new uniforms and on April 16 Dr. "Row Thru'* to harass fast-food
ference is that Joe is too tall to dance and Lar is too short to Garvey will announce that tuition chair? workers with the eternal
study philosophy. will be increased. question, "Where's The Beef?"
i V A V i V i ' d W \UW ww£&3S&tefl

Some 18 years after the genetic ' 3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIMIIIIIIIIIIL

W 1 W
~*-"3C«fMn

m
ajvpiiT
• m_+ • * W* •_-

experiment, Dunn stumbled vv sw

across Mercyhurst while reading :•:•*

"Boy's, Life."£"The ad said, -• >-1> • *** I

V-X-V
\

'Mercyhurst- College will make MS& fcKffi

you feel like one of the family.' A

"Little did I realize the truth of ^ • ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ f c ^ ^ ^ ^ m I H H H I ;
W a r n
U- mmm® A •

that ad" chuckles Dunn. "The 8888*

^^jBw^day th«j|rrwrs<teyp 0%fl||§|o $0 Pmm mm™
/

SS&JQ

p
first time I walked through the 3£@KRft!
m vS%S#
A
iron gates, I knew this place felt m
like home. j *
Denis talks about the first
meeting with f his biological
creator. "Pop (Roth) was giving *r„- *<
me the campus tour. I felt like I
H&had known him all my life.

SENIORS
Besides, we dressed alike. We

SAC continued from pg. 3 38th and Pine Ave.

I " I agree," said Natalie
Mangini, who was relatively Presents
unavailable for comment.
"It was a real fantasytrelease
for me to discover that Laura did
this dastardly deed," said Darlene
Lef s Go Out With A Bang! Friday, March 30 and
Saturday, March 31
"Dingy" Nolan. "I'm? sure
nothing like that could ever hap-
[Planning for Senior Week "Headline" 10-2
pen at "The Star" while I'm in Begins April 3 at 8 p.m. Monday: Wing Night f
charge of the money matters." Tuesday: Pony Night 3 for 1
"The Star's" feature editor,
Fran Moavero, could not be ALL ARE WELCOME Wednesday: Ladies Night & Draft Night
reached for comment as she was
off on a sudden, unexpected and Happy Hour • Monday thru Saturday 4 to 7
all-expense paid trip? to I Zim-
bawbe, Africa (off supposedly do
an interview with Bantu Chief
Rising Sun. THE STAR
xi'\ m i

Two "students" were caught
stealing a computer and programs
last week. Pierre Donyegro and
his assistant known only as
"Cooley" were arraigned Mon-
day on charges of breaking and
entering an unlawful "borrow-
ing" of computer equipment.
Pete Benekos, Criminal Justice
instructor, jrevealed that
Donyegro and! Cooley were ac-
tually spies from the Ivory Coast
posing as Mercy hurst students.
"My kuntree told me mitmg."
Donyegro said.| "Thank-dyu,
thank-dyu." & Foods freezer. "The smell in the schedules, were returned to Drg
Cooley seems to have the
"Coffee picks me up and "By and large, I'm a teal
calms me do wn.' * • beast without my coffee. 3 2 aroma. 99
mastermind behindI the ;heist. Foodservice director John
"Nuu comment,'buddie," states Washington said.
computer sheister. . "I Sr. Elisabeth Linsten,*director
The two were caught late Friday of foreign students, is working on
hiding beneath a ping-pong table. getting the two out. "Eedwass a
"It was Pierre's idea y'khow?" harrable sham. Dey were such
Also found on the thieves were nize boyce. Eet is now an eenter-
walkie-talkie "snicker's bars." It nyzel Kryses. De Eoonited Nazuns
seems? the two were com- weal be eenvolved."
municating with Kwang Chang
who was warming up the Isuzu get I The United Nations plans on in-
away car. vestigating the entire matter.
It* has been2 reported that the
Donyegro and Cooley are now computer and programs,i which
being held without bail in a KC consisted on spring- term
freezer is getting really bad," Platte in the computer center. I
"It's actually very -comfor-
table," Head Football Coach
Tony DeMeo says of the Mer-
cyhurst Cube,! which he has
revealed has been his home for the
past two years, f | 8|
"My wife has really done a lot
with the interior," he added. "I'd
invite you in, but there really isn't
any room to spare when the kids
are home." | in the corner. " |
The cube, DeMeo says, was
always his dream house. He and
his family moved there after get-
ting permission from Dr. William
^
P. Garvey. The DeMeo family
sold their four bedroom ranch
style home because DeMeo felt
that it was just' 'too imposing and
grandiose for a regular guy like
E&S
me. »»
"It's so much easier to keep
*m neat?... and having it lit'up like
mi lilllib - - • - <* - A * 'VJ
that at night has really done a lot
for my sense of security not to
mention' my plants," Mrs. DeMeo
commented.
CLIP AND S A V E ' — - — — - — —
AVENUE
IU brazier.
8 -IB
%!off all
o Queen and Brazier
Products I i
1 Coupon Per Visit
Excluding Sales Items
Spring Hours:
Sunday*th rough i i
"I like the mountain grown
Saturday: 11 a.m. -11 p.m.
-CLIP AND SAVE'
THE STAR
^*^w?
i&*
$m%&
•< •
•**
w
• >»:
vsk*.
fc
The recent fire in the cube was
caused, it was revealed, by a cigar
lire set by Coach, who fell asleep
while smoking in bed.
"It was quite a trauma for the
kids," Mrs. DeMeo said. "They
had to go to a friend's and sleep in
a real house for two nights. They
were uncomfortable sleeping in
beds instead of rolled up in a ball
The football head explained
that the location of his new home
is ideal for keeping an eye on how
many of his players actually do
Jisitjthe library. "You'd be ^sur-
prised at what really goes on in
those study carols," he said.
"I think everyone should try
this alternate form of living ar-
rangement," DeMeo concluded.
Perhaps instead of building a new
dorm to house the overflow of
students, the college could build a
number of these cubes. It's a great
way to get to know your room-
mate well right away, ft*'
1
O
1
•
>
m
I
I
•

There is a special door in the
Mercyhurst Center which few
people know about. As a matter
of fact, the only persons who
know of the door, are members of
the athletic department.
It seems, that despite its
physical i appearance, an office
situated in the primary depart-
ment area is fitted with a revolv-
ing door. f The unfortunate person J even
In less than two and?one-half
years, no less than six members of
the sports department staff have
entered the office only to lose
their job shortly thereafter.
This phenomenon started in the
fall of 1981* with the release of
seven year 'Hurst Physical Educa-
tion Coordinator and Soccer
Coach, Dave Shimpeno.
Dave Shimpeno - His demise
in Fall * of 1981 began the
whole sequence.
Upon Shimpeno's exit, then
Assistant Athletic Director
Howard^Twiggs moved intq-the
infamou*5 space andlbok over the
duties ' of ^ Sports Information
Director. ;^> | •
As SID, Twiggs lasted over a
year, one of the longer stays in the
cubicle. He didn't; depart the
scene until the Winter of 1982.
The office didn't remain vacant
for long. The Assistant Men's
Basketball Coach at the time,
Nick Urzetta quickly moved in
and than made his tracks out just
Howard Twiggs -14 months
as speedily in the spring of '82.
Interim SID Bob Shreve proved
to be just that ... interim. He
made his way to the famed door
and revolved right out before he
even got settled. He entered and
left in a span of six months, leav-
ing at the end of July, 1982. *
Next to take the spot in front of
the desk was multi-purpose coach,
Shelly Monas. While serving as
Head J Coach for the jj Women's
Tennis, Basketball, and Softball
teams. Monas kept requesting an
office so that she could straighten
things out.
Well, the department obliged
by giving her THE office. Monas
completed her fifth year as the
Laker's softball mentor before
getting the boot in the spring of
1983. i $
Finally last, but least, Sports
Information Director Jim LeCor-
chick (remember, the guy who
Nick Urzetta - 4 months
slammed the famous revolving
door into a staff member of "The
Star's" face) took over the room
after Monas' stay. LeCorchick
gave it a valiant effort, but he
couldn't hold the office for a year
either. His abrupt departure came
just six weeks ago. < I
So, as anyone can see, a stay in
Shelly Monas - 9 months S§Pf
M u
* • N O W O
Primary Supplier For| |
Mercyhurst College Athletic
Teams, IntramurataAnd
Individual Needs.
OWNER: Mac McShane
2220 W. 8th. Street
454-7767
this small, cozy office can be a
challenge. The longest stay in the
last 30 months was by Twiggs and
that was back in '81 and '82 when
he held the post secure for 14
months.
Of course, now everyone wants
to know who has the distinction
of working in the jinxed office at
the present time.
has an unfortunate title. The oc-
cupant is INTERIM Sports Infor-
mation Director Greg Yoko.
AAAW-' . V-V-V V A V ' ? W - 4 : i !
Jim LeCorchick - 7 months
Yoko, still ai student at the
'Hurst, is very cautious of his
position. Despite the fact that
almost every other office in the
Campus Center received- a new
name plate to go on the door,
Yoko's|SID office simply reads
"Sports Information."
Although he has organized the
room slightly, he refuses to get
comfortable. He claims that he
hears an echoing voice that is con-
tinously whispering "next, next,
NEXT! H jj
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Where Beer Will
Never Be
W I S H I N G DOLL
Ancient turquoise adorned replica grants one wish. Please use
wisely — doll works. $6.00. History, instructions free.
SOC. Box 800, Dept. 10. Albuquerque. New Mexico 87196
Mercyhurst's Student Govern- Robinson's plans of conspiracy by
ment President |Dave Robinson, ordering him to be "escorted
better known to his peers as the from school property by Mer-
"Barney s Rubble look-a-like," cyhurst' Sjjg^largest' security
was impeached by a majority vote guards."
of the MSG and Senators last Fri- In an interview with both
day. Robinson was charged for Garvey an ex-president Robinson,
dealings with the Democratic Par- Assistant Editor Martha Camp,
ty as a secret presidential nominee with tape recorder in hand, expos-
and moonlighting as a Jungle Ex- ed the fact that "we (Garvey and
press gorilla. i MSG) needed a woman in there
Bryan Dougherty t headed the anyway... who better to take over
committee to impeach Robinson. than Kathy O'Conner ... we had
The i first. Senator Jto sign to get rid of Robinson somehow."
Dougherty's petition was Maris Robinson merely sat there staring
Santangelo,* but was reported as at the recording device with no
"illegible and unacceptable" comment to add. *
because of townhouse walkway
mud smeared throughout* her Following the interview, securi-
ty guard I Chuck jj Cook hand-
signature. "I feel Dave didn't
know enough about Geology-and cuffed and stripped Robinson of
his gorilla suit in full view of the
that's what townhouse living is all
about!" claimed the rather squat- women's tennis team, " u even
ty Senator in her reasons for im- took off from practice early just
to see the event," said Amy
peachment proceedings. |
President Garvey requested that Arrowsmith
Robinson be removed from on- Sources have revealed to "The
campus housing. When this re- 1
Star" -that Robinson has left the
quest was received by Robinson, college for other "personal
he rebelled by planning wild and reasons." He is currently on a
crowded 12-keg parties at his rendezvous with Margorie
place of residence - townhouse 4. McDermott in Canada. Wedding
Garvey immediately rebutted bells are in the air.
i ;\ MJJ6L
m i i B i r a n i H i i i R H i H i i r a m i i H
N • T V
Syfes-x .-•.••.•' ^s«
TONY SABELLA'S
Genuine Pizza and
Delicatessen;
3018 State Street
455-6119
• •f
ONE
LARGE CHEESE
PIZZA WITH 2 ADDITIC.,„fc
ITEMS DELIVERED FREE TO.
YOUR DORM OR APARTMENT
* * * $ • *
COUPON EXPIRES d/ft/m
THE STAR