FACULTY OF APPLIED SOCIAL SCIENCES

SEPTEMBER 2016 SEMESTER

CBFC1103

INTRODUCTION TO COMMUNICATION

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LEARNING CENTRE : NEGERI SEMBILAN
TABLE OF CONTENTS

1.0 INTRODUCTION 3

2.0 THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATION IN A FAMILY 4

2.1 Building Strong Family Relationships 5
2.2 Cultivate Positive Family Culture 6
2.3 Reach Understandings and Solve a Problem 6
2.4 Encourage Support and Provide Insight on Situations 6

3.0 FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO THE OCCURENCE OF A

CONFLICT AMONG FAMILY SYSTEM 7
3.1 Finances and Jobs 8
3.2 Sibling Rivalry 8
3.3 Child Discipline, In Laws and Extended Family 8
3.4 Poor Communication Skills 9

4.0 EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES ON HOW TO AVOID CONFLICT

IN FAMILIES 10
4.1 Communicate Frequently, Clearly and Directly 10
4.2 Be An Active Listener 11
4.3 Pay Attention to Non – Verbal Messages 11
4.4 Be Positive with Good Values 11

5.0 CONCLUSION 12

REFERENCES

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1.0 INTRODUCTION

Figure 1.1: Example of Harmonious Relation Through Quality Family Communication

Source: (Notebook, 2013).

Communication is the key in a family system. Effective communication is very vital to

any strong and healthy family relationship. Communication is a process of sharing ideas,
information and feelings that involves speech, writing, behaviour and body language or in
short, any reaction that offers meaning to a message becomes communication (Hybels &
Weaver, 2001). Family is viewed as a group of people or individuals living under one roof
usually under one head, and they rely on each other. In any society, the family is an important
unit that plays a crucial role in instilling values and good responsibilities. To make these
happen and what ties these group of people as one solid unit or entity is family
communication. According to Epstein, Bishop, Ryan, Miller and Keitner (1993), family
communication refers to the way verbal and non-verbal information is exchanged between
family members.

Thus, the main purpose of this report is to highlight and discuss the issue on family
communication. The report is mainly focused on several important areas such as the
importance of communication in a family, the factors contributing to the occurence of a
conflict among family system and the effective strategies on how to avoid or reduce conflicts
among family members. The speech concludes with strong, supported opinions through owns
personal observation, experience and knowledge.

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2.0 THE IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATION IN A FAMILY
Family communication refers to the way verbal and non-verbal information is exchanged
between family members (Epstein et al., 1993). Nowadays, due to busy and dynamic
lifestyles, thus it is vital for any family to maintain healthy family communication.
Communication between them involves the ability to pay attention to what others are thinking
and feeling; in which an important part of communication is not just talking but rather listen
to what others have to say.

Figure 1.2: Example of Family Communication and Listening – How they Relate
Source: (CDC, 2014).

Communication in the family does not only involve talking or discuss issues, probems, crises
and conflicts when they occur, but listening to what others have to say also. In other words,
listening and becoming a better listener is important for any family members because families
need to understand each other and be compassionate with one another. In a family life,
communication is of great importance. Communication is important so that members in a
family pay attention to what others are thinking and feeling, respect each other’s needs and
wants in order to maintain strong and healthy family relationships as well as help to enhance
family trust and unity. A transparent and honest communication can create very harmonious
atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and
admiration for one another. It is undeniable that through effective communication, family
members are able to resolve any unavoidable problems that arise in all families.

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The following points are the importance of communication in a family, in which each
points will be explained thoroughly through supporting facts and relevant examples :

2.1 Building Strong Family Relationships

Positive and quality family communication lead to the building of strong families. In this
sense, strong families support one another and openly share their feelings of love, happiness,
success, togetherness, joys, fears and sorrows through good family communication. Effective
communication also enable each member to share their hopes and dreams with one another,
encourage supports, celebrate individual achievements and successes.

Figure 1.3: Example of How Family Communication Leads to Good Values in the Family
Source: (Positive Parenting Centre, 2011).

According to Family Times (2013) – Ralph, proud father of an energetic 8-year-old daughter,
recently graduated from a parenting class offered by New Mexico State University’s
Strengthening Family Initiative. Through the parenting classes, Ralph learned some important
tips about communicating with his daughter. He commented that “The classes were fun, and I
had the chance to spend quality time with my daughter. Going to these classes has made my
little girl and me closer. I feel like we can open up to each other better. We talk so much
easier now, and we don’t hold anything back. We even cook and bake together.” (Family
Times, 2013). By communicating to his children, Ralph shows that he is interested in his
daughter’s lives and she is very important to him; in which this helps to build his strong
family relationship.

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2.2 Cultivate Positive Family Culture
Family communication is one of the key element in cultivating positive family culture. In
any society, the family is an important unit that plays a crucial role to cultivate positive family
cultures, instill good values and responsibilites. Positive family culture is to ensure each
member of the family regardless of age is heard, understood and most importantly given an
opportunity to express their inner thoughts, feelings and concerns without contempt or critism.
In this context, positive family communication helps to teach good values, explain clear roles
and responsibilites of each unit in the entity, pass on knowledge on cultural and religious
heritage in which all these lead to the strength of family bond, connect generations, create
lasting memories that add to the rythm and seasonality of life.

2.3 Reach Understandings and Solve a Problem

Family communication also helps to reach understandings and solve any problems. When an
individual is able to communicate with family members, he or she will be able to share what
they believe and learn what others feel is right. While he or she may not agree, he or she may
begin to understand more about the reasons why they do what they do or say what they say.
(Marcelina, 2015).

2.4 Encourage Support and Provide Insight on Situations

Family communication is meant to encourage support and provide insight on situations. A
family system helps every one of its members through the good and the bad times. When a
family communicates well, everyone understands what loved ones need, enable them to
provide support (Marcelina, 2015). According to this writer, even if nothing can be done
about the situation, just providing a listening ear can make all the difference. Family members
often disagree about how they should deal with their personal problems. While it may be
difficult to hear, sometimes it is good to have a family member who shares another
perspective of a situation. This enables the person dealing with the issue to make an informed
decision about what troubled him or her (Marcelina, 2015).

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3.0 THE FACTORS CONTRIBUTING TO THE OCCURRENCE OF
A CONFLICT AMONG FAMILY SYSTEM

Figure 1.4: Example of A Conflict in The Family System

Source: (Dreamstime, 2015).

Conflict and tension in a family may occur if there is lack of communication between family
members. Conflicts in the family also can happen when family members have different views
or beliefs that clash. According to the Better Health Channel, family conflict often occurs
when family members have varying beliefs and opinions that clash with one another. Issues of
conflict that are not resolved peacefully can lead to arguments and resentment. Some people
even find it difficult to manage their feelings and become intentionally hurtful, aggressive or
even violent. It is normal to disagree with each other from time to time. Occasional conflict is
part of family life. However, on-going conflict can be stressful and damaging to relationships
(Better Health, 2014).

Relatives may argue with one another to defend themselves or a point of view.
Misunderstandings also cause unnecessary arguments when family members do not
communicate well. Thus, effective communication is deemed to be an important
characteristic of strong, healthy families. Research identifies communication as an essential
building block of strong marital, parent-child, and sibling relationships (Virginia Cooperative
Extension, 2009). However, the factors contributing to the occurrence of a conflict among
family system is 1) finances and jobs, 2) sibling rivalry, 3) child discipline, in laws and
extended family and 4) poor communication skills (Lee, 2015; Gottman, 1994; Graham &
Crossan, 1996; Noller & Fitzpatrick, 1990).

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3.1 Finances and Jobs
One biggest factor of family conflict lies within the area of finances such as one’s ability to
pay bills, maintain the mortgage or rent, buy sufficient food and other necessities as well as
have any remaining money for recreation. Many people squabble about the financial
constraint or poor spending habits. On the other hand, job loss or loss of employment also
causes this financial constraint, which breeds family conflicts when all resources become
scarce (Gottman, 1994). If a parent’s jobs keep him away from home most of his time, the
spouse at home with the children often feels neglected or abandoned. Conversely, if the parent
becomes unemployed, this causes another form of stress and conflict, as finances dwindle and
uncertainty sets in about the future (Lee, 2015).

3.2 Sibling Rivalry

Another factor of conflict is sibling rivalry. It is escalated when siblings are close to the same
age or are the same gender. Children and teens who rebel against the will of their parents can
cause family discord. Some other sources of family conflict include a new addition to the
family, child discipline, household rules, chores and even extramarital affairs. Spouses who
are in the process of divorcing can upset the balance of the home and cause family conflict. A
death in the family may cause even the closest relatives to argue over a will, possessions and
funeral arrangements. In this context, a family can seek counselling to talk over a problem in a
neutral setting to resolve family conflicts and restore harmony (Lee, 2015).

3.3 Child Discipline, In Laws and Extended Family

According to Lee (2015), while mutual agreement on the subject of child discipline is crucial,
the lack of consensus opens up another potential area for family conflict. If one parent acts as
the “disciplinarian,” the other parent typically becomes the “consoler” to whom the children
turn – this often pits one parent against the other. Jokes and movies abound regarding conflict
with in-laws (especially mothers-in-law); however, when people actually become involved in
disagreements with their in-laws or extended family, it is no laughing matter. While it is
preferable to respect our elder’s parents and grandparents on both sides equally, this can prove
to be challenging. If relatives routinely interfere in your family’s decisions and lifestyle,
conflict frequently results.

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3.4 Poor communication skills
Just as effective communication is almost always found in strong, healthy families, poor
communication is usually found in unhealthy family relationships. Marriage and family
therapists often report that poor communication is a common complaint of families who are
having difficulties. Poor communication is unclear and indirect. It can lead to numerous
family problems, including excessive family conflict, ineffective problem solving, lack of
intimacy, and weak emotional bonding (Graham & Crossan, 1996). Researchers have
discovered a strong link between communication patterns and satisfaction with family
relationships (Noller & Fitzpatrick, 1990). In fact, one researcher discovered that the more
positively couples rated their communication, the more satisfied they were with their
relationship five and a half years later (Markman, 1981). Poor communication is also
associated with an increased risk of divorce and marital separation and more behavioural
problems in children.

Sometimes it may seem easier to look the other way instead of approaching a family member
with a problem, however, ignoring issues can cause more harm than good. Sidestepping issues
won't make the problems go away, but instead intensify the feelings the person will have
about future disagreements. Understanding the importance of family communication is vital to
help realize that while sweeping things under the rug may be easier, it's not the wisest thing to
do in the long run, and in this context, the solution is – to overcome a conflict among family
members through good and effective family communication.

Figure 1.5: Example of Quality Happy Families Communication

Source: (Emily, 2015).
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4.0 THE EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES ON HOW TO AVOID
CONFLICT IN FAMILIES

In our busy and dynamic lifestyles, it is deemed crucial to maintain strong and healthy family
communication. A lack of communication can weaken our overall relationship with fellow
family members, especially if we encounter any conflicts in families. Taking time to talk over
your current feelings with everyone is a big step toward forming a healthier family dynamic.

Thus there are few effective strategies that can be implemented to avoid conflict in families
toward forming a healthier and happier family dynamic. Family members can become more
effective communicators and in turn to improve the quality of their relationships. Therefore,
families can improve their communication by following the effective strategies for building
strong and healthy family communication.

4.1 Communicate Frequently, Clearly and Directly

One of the most difficult challenges facing families today is finding time to spend together.
According to a recent Wall Street Journal survey, 40% of the respondents stated that lack of
time was a greater problem for them than lack of money (Graham & Crossan, 1996). With our
busy schedules, it is difficult to find sufficient time to spend with one another in meaningful
conversation. It is extremely important for families to make time to communicate. Talk in the
car; turn the TV off and eat dinner together; schedule informal or formal family meetings to
talk about important issues that affect our family; and talk to our children at bedtime. There
are many creative ways to make time to communicate with other family members (Virginia
Cooperative Extension, 2009).

On the other hand, healthy families communicate their thoughts and feelings in a clear and
direct manner. This is especially important when attempting to resolve problems that arise
between family members (e.g., spouse, parent-child). Indirect and vague communication will
not only fail to resolve problems, but will also contribute to a lack of intimacy and emotional
bonding between family members (Virginia Cooperative Extension, 2009).

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4.2 Be An Active Listener
An essential aspect of effective communication is listening to what others are saying. Being
an active listener involves trying your best to understand the point of view of the other person.
Whether you are listening to a spouse or a child, it is important to pay close attention to their
verbal and non-verbal messages. As an active listener, you must acknowledge and respect the
other person's perspective (Lee, 2015).

4.3 Pay Attention to Non – Verbal Messages

In addition to carefully listening to what is being said, effective communicators also pay close
attention to the non-verbal behaviors of other family members. For example, a spouse or child
may say something verbally, but their facial expressions or body language may be telling us
something completely different. In cases such as these, it is important to find out how the
person is really feeling.

4.4 Be Positive with Good Values

While it is often necessary to address problems between family members, or to deal with
negative situations, effective communication is primarily positive. Marital and family
researchers have discovered that unhappy family relationships are often the result of negative
communication patterns (e.g., criticism, contempt, defensiveness). In fact, John Gottman and
his colleagues have found that satisfied married couples had five positive interactions to every
one negative interaction (Gottman, 1994). Couples who are very dissatisfied with their
relationships typically engage in more negative interactions than positive. It is very important
for family members to verbally compliment and encourage one another. Good values such as
be open and honest with one another also must take into place within families in order to
achieve effective communication. Without trust, families cannot build strong relationships.

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5.0 CONCLUSION

One of the greatest desires of every individual is to be happy and contented in this world. A
happy family is indeed a strong family. From the strength of the family, individual members
get the strength to face the world and the many problems that may confront them daily.
Belonging to a happy family plays a very significant part in helping someone to achieve that
goal of happiness and contentment. However, happiness at home cannot be attained without
quality family communication.

Communication is a key to successful family functioning. Researchers agree that clear, open,
and frequent communication is a basic characteristic of a strong, healthy family. Families that
communicate in healthy ways are more capable of problem-solving and tend to be more
satisfied with their relationships (Lee, 2015; Gottman, 1994; Graham et.al., 1996; Noller et
al., 1990).

When family members understand and perform their roles, a spirit of togetherness and respect
is encouraged and they feel more comfortable to talk about their problems whether or not they
stem from the home or the society. This further helps to decrease the power of negative
influences on members. The fact that they honour their roles, express themselves freely in the
home, and support each other, will encourage them to rely on each other in time of need. They
will then be able to trust each other for financial support, advice and love and support to cope
with the many and varied issues of life.

In conclusion, quality family communication is essential to establish a happy, harmonious

and fulfilling relation among family members in this world.

Total Word Counts: 3000 words

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REFERENCES

Better Health (2014). Family Conflict. Retrieved from

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/family-conflict

CDC. (2014). Communicating with Your Child. Retrieved from

http://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/communication

DreamsTime. (2015). A Sad Family. Retrieved from https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-

photo-sad-family-conflict-image16301010

Emily, M. (2015). Couples and Family Theraphy. Retrieved from

http://emilymoody.com/couples-family-therapy/

Epstein, N. B., Bishop, D., Ryan, C., Miller, & Keitner, G., (1993). The McMaster Model
View of Healthy Family Functioning. In Froma Walsh (Eds.), Normal Family Processes
(pp. 138 – 160). The Guilford Press: New York / London.

Family Times. (2013). Communication is the key to healthy family relationships. Retrieved
from http://aces.nmsu.edu/pubs/family_times/family_times_eng(sum04).pdf

Gottman, J.M. (1994). Why marriages succeed or fail. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Graham, E., & Crossan, C. (1996). Too much to do, too little time. Wall Street Journal, March
8, R1-R4.

Hybels, S., & Weaver, R.L. (2001). Communicating effectively. New York USA: McGraw-
Hill Companies Inc.

Lee, B.K. (2015). Causes of Family Conflict. Retrieved from

http://www.livestrong.com/article/91391-causes-family-conflict/

Marcelina, H. (2015). Importance of Family Communication. Retrieved from

http://family.lovetoknow.com/about-family-values/importance-family-communication

Noller, P., & Fitzpatrick, M. A. (1990). Marital communication in the eighties. Journal of
Marriage and the Family, 52, 832-843.

Notebook. (2013). The Importance of Communication in a Family Life. Retrieved from

http://www.happy-family-guide.com/the-importance-of-communication-in-a-family-life

Positive Parenting Centre. (2011). The Importance of Communication in Building A Positive

Family Culture. Retrieved from http://www.the-positive-parenting-
centre.com/importance_of_communication.html

Virginia Cooperative Extension. (2009). Families First-Keys to Successful Family

Functioning: Communication. Retrieved from https://pubs.ext.vt.edu/350/350-092/350-
092.html

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