7/30/2021 SIY: Session 8-Self-Forgiveness

It’s a Joy to Get to Know You

~ Shaina Noll

SELF-FORGIVENESS
DSWD / Training of Service Providers of CSRPDV
July 30, 2021
Resource Person: Antonia C. Siy, PhD, RPsy

Counseling Plan for the PDV Client Forgiveness is not …

6. Stand as his witness for self-forgiveness. ■ Pardoning

– Recover his connection to his strengths. ■ Condoning
– Facilitate his ability to forgive himself. ■ Excusing
– Plan and rehearse renewing his family relationships. ■ Forgetting
– Plan and rehearse making amends.
■ Reconciling

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Forgiveness is a process … Forgiveness is a process …

■ Cognitive aspect – for the Reasoning Mind
– Taking the context into consideration
– Understanding reasons and factors, but not using them
as an excuse
– Gaining a new perspective, reframing, reappraisal
■ Affective aspect – for the Emotional Mind
– Letting go of negative emotions of unforgiveness –
anger, resentment, bitterness, vengefulness
– Replacing these with empathy, compassion, mercy,
altruistic love

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DSWD / CSRPDV
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 7/30/2021 SIY: Session 8-Self-Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a process … Values in Action

■ Behavioral aspect – for the Wise Mind Core values –

– Seeking a balance between rational (what one should ■ What is most important in one’s life which give a person
do) and the emotional (what one’s feelings are urging
one to do) direction, meaning, vitality, inspiration, motivation

– Making new meaning to create new options and guide [See Session 8-Siy 2-Values Clarification Worksheet]
new behaviors
– Recovering a sense of purpose aligned with one’s core
values
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https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-forgive-yourself-4583819
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I Am a Good Person Lifeline Technique

[See Session 8-Siy 3] [See Session 8-Siy 4-The Lifeline]

■ An activity to help the client identify and affirm his best
qualities.
■ Counseling can help him think of situations in which he can
use his positive traits, abilities, and strengths to make
better choices – e.g., emotion regulation, delay of action
urges, problem solving.
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■ A storytelling tool using art to depict the positive and
negative events in the client’s life.
■ Counseling can help him reflect on significant past events
and process unresolved emotions and conflicts. As a kind
of “exposure intervention,” the lifeline can also helps the
client identify his maladaptive experiential avoidance
strategies and be a catalyst for learning more effective
emotion regulation skills.
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DSWD / CSRPDV
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 7/30/2021 SIY: Session 8-Self-Forgiveness

Attend to Relationships and GIVE Expressive Arts Techniques

[See Session 8-Siy 5]

■ Helping the client identify concrete behaviors to pay attention

to and care for his intimate relationships (with spouse and
children).
■ GIVE – a skill set for building and maintaining healthy
relationships
– G – be Gentle
– I – act Interested
– V – Validate
– E – Easy manner
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Questions for Reflection

Knowing what I know about the PDV Client and knowing

myself,

THE COUNSELOR ■ What aspects of working with this client do I or will I find
most challenging?

■ What aspects of working with this client do I or will I feel

most capable of handling?

■ What is my plan for applying my capabilities to handling the

challenges I foresee?
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DSWD / CSRPDV
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