LABU2040

Business Case
Analysis
Wk. 8-9
Writing skills

Business Writing Skills I (p.31)

Learning Outcomes
By the end of this cycle, students will be able to:
 identify differences between spoken and written forms of
business communication.
 identify differences between academic and business
writing.
 analyze the audience in business writing and in the
recommendation report assessment
 identify + understand the structure and sections of a
recommendation report.
 identify the functions + language of the Introduction of a
report
Task 1.1: Spoken vs written forms (p.31)

 To communicate effectively you need to be aware of

differences and advantages/disadvantages
associated with spoken and written messages.
 Think of the differences and advantages +
disadvantages associated with the two

Spoken
 Usually no permanent record
 Possible time limit
 Speaker under time pressure
 Listener processing time limited

 Immediate feedback
 Promotes interaction
 Benefit of NVC*
 Examples: oral presentations, talks, meetings
Written
 Permanent written record
 Reader has more processing time
 Avoids need to deal with immediate questions
 No distortions associated with spoken messages
 More powerful NVC missing
 Can be costly + more time-consuming to
produce
 Elaborate documents may require special skills
to produce
 Examples: email, reports, minutes

Task 2: 2.1 (p.32) In groups, discuss and list key differences between
academic and business writing, and similarities if any. You may think
about the purpose, audience, genre, ownership, style, use of sources,
and format.

Purpose
AW: Expand knowledge, forward argument, assignments etc.
BW: Recommend action, give information, negotiate etc.
Audience
Narrow: academic community
Broad: multitude of possible stakeholders (employees, customers,
shareholders, regulatory bodies)
Genre types
Essays, journal papers, academic textbooks, monographs
Reports, letters, memos, proposals, business/marketing plans,
evaluations
Ownership
Mostly individual academic writers
Company, documents maybe public, internal, or confidential. Often
collaboration involved in writing.
Tone & Style
Formal
Semi formal - business formal
Use of sources:
Largely from within academia + sources always attributed in the
discipline preferred format
Highly varied
Format
Often in standard academic style: complete sentences in expository
paragraphs
Highly varied: bullet points to paragraphs, often with lots of graphics

Features of effective business writing:

1. achieves its purpose (in the shortest amount of

time/length).
2. provides precise and concise information.
3. persuades and convinces the reader(s).
4. might call the reader to action.
5. preserves and enhances the credibility of the writer.
6. establishes and enhances goodwill between the writer
and reader.
7. leaves a useful record for future reference
 Task 3: Evaluating Business Writing (p.33)
3.1 Review the text and evaluate its effectiveness
Achieves its purpose (in shortest length)?
 No. Can state purpose in the 1st para. Writer could give
reader some brief outline about the required information.
Provides precise + concise info?
 No. First 2 paragraphs can probably be combined
Persuades + convinces reader?
 Maybe. Some attempts to build rapport. Email has enough
information for action, but more context would help.
Calls the reader to action?
 Yes. Writer includes a 5-day deadline, but this may come
across as ‘pushy’ as it is quite short.

Language (p.34)
1. The information provided in the form will be treated as
strictly confidential and will not be disclosed to any other
person or organization.

What is redundant in this sentence?

-Strictly confidential = will not be disclosed to…

2. Please be advised that the applicant’s consent for us to
perform reference checks and for organizations to release
records and information about them for purposes relating to
recruitment by and employment with a school in Hong Kong
has been obtained.

How does the sentence structure affect clarity? Identify 2

ways that it could be improved.
1. Move main verb closer to the beginning so reader can
more easily identify main agent and action:
 “Please be advised that the applicant’s consent has been obtained
for us to perform reference checks and …”
2. Turn into passive into active:
 “We have obtained the applicant’s consent…”

Task 4: Analyzing the Audience in Business

Writing (p.35)

1. audience
2. purpose
3. Audience expectations
4. Audience knowledge
4.1 (p.36) Analyze the sample scenarios by determining the nature and
the direction of communication and answering the four questions about
your audience.
Scenario 1
Nature: Internal
Direction: Upward
Audience: Jenny Leong, Projects Director of MTR who is possibly your boss.
(Your report may form the basis on which Jenny prepares her report to other
bosses.)
Purpose: to inform (e.g. how serious the problem is) and then to persuade
Jenny Leong of the solutions
Audience expectations: Recommendations with justifications to solution the
problem reported. Quantitative evidence would be expected.
Audience knowledge: Jenny would know existence of problem, but may not
be fully aware of details or seriousness. She may have in mind some generic
solutions given her experience, so your solutions have to be contextualized
and specific.

Scenario 2

Nature: Internal
Direction: Upward/horizontal (other colleagues in senior managment)
Audience: VP of marketing
Purpose: to describe and justify a plan to improve the company’s public
reputation; to persuade the VP of the efficacy of any recommendations
Audience expectations: findings and analyses of the current efforts on
improving corporate reputation, and feasible/ workable recommendations
which would solve the problems.
Audience knowledge: Mr Hollis has knowledge of the company’s image
problem + proposal to donate land to win favor of local government. Hollis
knows writer well, so a certain familiarity might be exhibited in message
tone.
4.2 (p.36) Apply the analysis to the first assessed task (refer to
details in CANVAS)

Nature: External
Direction: Upward
1. Audience: Jim Johnson (client in a consulting project)
2. Purpose: To analyze the problems + offer solutions; to
persuade Jim Johnson of the feasibility of solutions
3. Audience expectations: Analysis of the problems (the root
cause) and recommended solutions with justifications.
4. Audience knowledge: Johnson aware of symptoms but not
root cause. He knows background information, operation of the
resort, + management structures

Task 5: Structure + sections of a recommendation

report (p.37)

Direct approach to business writing

Direct
Structure: main idea appears near the beginning of
document, followed by the evidence/analysis.
Context: when audience will be neutral or positive to your
message
Advantages: because main idea at beginning it is easier for
reader to follow + safes time
 5.1 (p.37) For the written assessment, you will
adopt the direct approach, which contains these
sections:
1. To/From/Date/Subject
2. Introduction
3. Conclusions
4. Recommendations
5. Findings & Analyses
6. References (optional)
 Scan through sample recommendation report
(pp.38-41). Note: it is not a model

5.1 (p. 41) Heading / Introduction / Conclusions /

Recommendations / Findings & Analysis / References

Recommend-
ation

Heading

Conclus-
ion

Findings +
Analysis

Intro

References
Task 6: Functions + Language of the Introduction
6.1 (p.42-43) Review the Introduction of a recommendation
report from John Davidson to George Hollis and identify the
primary functions of each section.
1. Establishes purpose of report
2. Highlights methods used
3. Limitations of study
4. Outlines sections after introduction

6.2 Identify 3 language features that make it direct

 Active voice
 Use of ‘I’
 Use of language that shows certainty, eg. “is necessary”

Business writing skills II

By the end of this lesson, students will be able to:
 identify the most appropriate, and effective tone and
style of a recommendation report.
 tone is formal and business like, personal and friendly, and
confident.
 style is direct (use of active style and the first person) and
concise.
 use tone and style effectively in a recommendation
report.
 identify less concise language which is inappropriate for
a recommendation report.
Tone & style- ‘register’

 What is ‘register’?
 ‘particular varieties or styles of speaking and
writing’ (Cambridge dictionaries online)
 Register vary because different styles of
language is required for different social contexts,
audiences, genres.
 Register on a cline informal - formal

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Informal Register- casual conversation/texting

-Think the characteristics of informal language

 Incomplete sentences  Idioms

 Abbreviations  ‘one bird in hand is worth
two in the bush’
 eg. / ie. / etc.
 Contractions  Colloquial language
 ‘I’m gonna’
 It’s / I’d
 ‘That’s a load of rubbish’
 Phrasal Verbs
 ‘The building blew up’
 Active Voice
 ‘my manager backed me  Frequent use of personal
up over my request for a pronouns
pay rise’  Emoticons ☺
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 Formal register- Academic

-Think of the characteristics of academic language

 Avoids:  Vocabulary more

 Abbreviations complex +
 Contractions
specialized
 Phrasal verbs
 Idioms  Nominalisation
 Colloquialisms  Lexical density
 Rhetorical questions
 Passive Voice
 Substantially reduced use
of personal pronouns

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The Register Cline

Business Business Legal

conversation Texts Texts

Informal Formal

Casual Business Academic

conversation Speeches Texts
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Characteristics of Business Communication

 Idioms- acceptable for audience from the same

cultural background, avoid for multi-cultural
audiences
 Avoid colloquial language or slang
 Phrasal verbs generally sound more informal;
avoid overuse
 Use personal pronouns (we, our, you, yours),
but refrain from excessive use of ‘I’ or ‘me’ or
‘mine’
 Avoid unnecessarily complex words + sentences

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 Avoid contractions + abbreviations

 Active voice more common
 Passive used less and best for specific
purposes- eg. when you want to hide the
subject:
 ‘You made a mistake’
 ‘A mistake was made’

 Use industry specific jargon only when

communicating with audiences from your own
field

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 Task 2: Identifying the most appropriate and
effective style and tone (p.44)

2.1 Contrast the three texts from John Davidson to George

Hollis of the California Wood Harvesting Co. Discuss which
text uses the more effective style and tone of writing for a
recommendation report. Support your reasons with
examples from the text.

 Remember the context here is internal communication to

someone more senior.

Text 1
Possibly not the most appropriate. Reasons:
 highly formal/ impersonal and not a personal style in the first
person (e.g. repetitive third-person references to “the
company” and “its”)
 very little attention is paid to the relationship with the reader.
 sentences are quite long + complex with lengthy lead-ins
(e.g. “After thorough investigation and conducting extensive
research…”)
 overuse of passive forms and the impersonal ‘it’ (e.g. “It is
preferable…”)
 Parallel structure “obtain” is repetitive
Text 2
Not the most appropriate and effective style and tone.
Reasons:
 more suited to speaking than writing (e.g. “need to,”
“get”)
 informal, very casual, too personal, and arrogant (e.g.
“perfect way,” “great way”)
 use of contractions (e.g. “we’ve”)
 use of exclamation marks (e.g. “CSR!”)
 overuse of idioms or phrasal verbs (e.g. “looking into,”
“boost up,” “showcase,” “stepping up”)
 parallel structure “get” is repetitive

Text 3

The most appropriate and effective style and tone of the

three. Reasons:
 more personal (e.g. first-person references “my,” “I,”
“we”) and suited to the context of this report (i.e. within
the same organization)
 direct and active (e.g. “I have identified…,” “We
should…”
 concise and precise language choices (i.e. no use of
idioms or jargon)
Tone & Style: Letter from Trump
Read the following letter from Trump to Erdogan
(President of Turkey)
Context of letter: Turkey attacks Syria after the
withdrawal of U.S. troops in Oct 2019

 What do you think of the tone & style?

 What does it say about the attitude of Trump?
 How would you react if you were the recipient?

Task 3: Conciseness, Ex. 3.1 (p. 46)

1. Being in the hospitality industry that caters to
customers’ needs
 Redundant expression– “Being in the hospitality
industry”
2. Especially important
 Important?
3. Day-to-day operations
 Too vague– state specific type of operation?
4. Sufficient enough
 Both words mean the same thing (enough or sufficient)
5. Not unexpected
 Avoid double negative (expected)
3.2 (p.47)
1.
This report provides recommendations for developing the
donated land and using it to improve our corporate image.
2.
The company’s corporate image depicts the company as
environmentally unfriendly.
3.
We should approach the local government for help to fund
the project.
4.
The local government frequently responds to public
interests and concerns by devoting significant resources to
clean-energy projects

Task 1: Functions + Language of the

Recommendations (p.48)

Read the sample recommendation on p.48

a. What is the function of the first sentence in this section?

b. What needs improving in the Recommendations?
c. What language features are used in the
Recommendations?
a. What is the function of the first sentence in this
section?
 Lead in sentence
b. What needs improving in the recommendations?
 Vague + not enough support/details are given,
eg.
 How would the recommendations appeal to
government?
 How would the company approach private companies
for sponsorship?
 Timeframe?
 What are the “necessary details”?
 What support + justification would make ideas more
convincing

 Inconsistent use of bullet point + numbers

c. What language features are used in the

recommendations?
 Tense: present
 Modal verbs (should, can)
 Active voice (‘we should establish’ etc.)
Business writing IV

Task 1: Features of a good paragraph (p.50)

1.1 Based on what you have learnt in other language
course, discuss and list features of a good paragraph.
 A good paragraph is unified + discusses only one idea or
one topic.
 topic sentence with key idea at the beginning (in
business this often takes the form of a heading or sub-
heading)
 explanation sentence (optional sentence which explains
or expands on the topic sentence).
 supporting sentences with examples + qualitative or
quantitative evidence
 concluding sentence (optional sentence which reiterates
the main idea).
 Task 2: Functions and language of “Findings
and Analyses”
2.2 (p.51) Read the Findings and Analyses of the
sample recommendation report below and answer
these questions:

a. Are the paragraphs ‘good’ based on your definition

in #1.1?
b. What type of information is included in this section?
c. How are the analyses related to the
recommendations?
d. Are the paragraphs equally developed?

a. Are the paragraphs ‘good’ based on your definition in

#1.1?
 Yes, paragraphs are unified. Each focus on one issue,
is elaborated upon before transitioning to how writer’s
recommendation addresses issue.
b. What type of information is included in this section?
 Should include main issues, causes + discussion of
events (if any) observed in the case
c. How are the analyses related to the recommendations?
 Analyses should justify + be related directly to
recommendations
d. Are the paragraphs equally developed?
 Yes
Conclusions (p. 55)
Remember that Conclusions should:

 summarize + synthesize key findings based on facts and

insights which are discussed in other sections of the
report.
 include the problems and underlying causes, or the
identification of what is currently lacking.

Tasks remaining for WIYCR case

Recommendation report
 Will be treated as a separate assessment to
presentation- recommendations can be changed
 Deadline: 0900 Fri 13/Nov

Learning portfolio
1. Self-reflection of presentation
2. Peer review of one teammate
3. Other learning evidence
 No more than 3 pages, to be submitted through Google
docs/sites or Microsoft online word/Sway
 Deadline 0900 Tues 8/Dec- submit link to CANVAS