FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript

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Balancing Family, Faith, and Work

Guest: Pat Gelsinger

From the series: Putting Family First

Air date: February 20, 2007
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Bob: Pat Gelsinger is the chief technology officer at Intel. One year he
had made plans for the family vacation when something came up.

Pat: There was an important project launch going to occur, it came out
of my group. I was supposed to be the executive announcing the
product, and I told Andy Grove that I was going to keep my
commitment to the family vacation, and I was going to have one of
my team members do the product announcement, and I did. And
he was upset.

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Tuesday, February 20th. Our host is
the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.
We will hear how things went in the showdown between the boss
and the vacation. Stay tuned.

And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us. You're a

type A, aren't you? I mean, I'm not exactly sure where they came
up with these types or …

Dennis: What are you?

Bob: I'm B positive. I had my blood tested last week, and that's what I
am, I'm B positive.

Dennis: I think Barbara would say I'm type A.

Bob: But we're not talking about your blood type?

Dennis: No, we're not, and, in fact, what we're going to talk about today are
chips and wafers.

Bob: All right.

Dennis: Chips and wafers.

Bob: I'm always up for a good food discussion.

Dennis: And I'm going to ask our guest on FamilyLife Today, Pat Gelsinger,
to explain what a chip is and what a wafer is.

Pat: Well, there are lots of kinds of chips, but the ones I work with are
called silicon chips. And what happens is you have a silicon ingot
sliced into wafers, horizontal little flat surfaces that individual chips
are patterned into that have been sliced up and then put into
computers, and that's what runs our computers, our networks, our
TV, all of those kinds of things.

Dennis: And so this chip that I'm holding that is approximately an inch and a
half square, exactly what does this chip contain that I'm holding
here in my hand? I understand it's worth about $2,500. What does
it do?

Pat: Well, it will do particular processing functions, so it could be at the

middle of a big computer, and it would operate, potentially, several
hundred million transistors as part of it. There are also hundreds of
millions of transistors, little gadgets inside of it …

Bob: In that one-inch square flat thing?

Pat: Yes, yes. We can build them that they have as many as a billion
transistors stored in one of those chips.

Dennis: And you explained this earlier before we came in the studio – those
transistors, how many of them can be laid end-to-end on the width
of a human hair?

Pat: Maybe 100.

Bob: Okay, this is kind of hurting my brain here. So we're talking

microscopic transistors …

Pat: Yes, yes …

Bob: That are built in your laboratories out in California?

Pat: Well, in our fabs around the world we have them, but most of the
research is done on the West Coast and our facilities in Oregon
and Santa Clara and so on.
Dennis: Well, if you're wondering who Pat works for, fortunately, it's not a
subversive organization, because anybody could build something
that that's small …

Bob: Here's who it is – it's [Intel theme]. How's that? That's close.

Dennis: It is close.

Pat: You did well.

Dennis: Pat is senior VP of business products for Intel, and has worked for
them now how many years?

Pat: Twenty-seven years. So I started when I was 12 years old.

Dennis: Well, already this week we found out that he actually went to work
not at 12 but at 18. He graduated from high school and the
equivalent of junior college at the age of 18, went to work for Intel,
married his wife Linda three years later, four children, and a self-
professed workaholic.

Now, as you write about designing one of these chips, okay, you
talk about a team of people that you described would work 26 hours
a day.

Pat: Well, as we'd conduct these projects, these projects are three, four
years in length, and as you come to the finish of it, they just get
more and more intense and, literally, you're working around the
clock to get the chip done. You're sort of racing to get it into
fabrication, and you work 20 hours maybe consecutively, go home,
rest, shower, come back, work the next 20 hours. You're just so
intense because you want to get this project done. That's been
your absolute passion and focus for the last four years.

Dennis: Does somebody who works that many hours hit a wall?

Pat: Some do, you know, where they just – I remember, one guy came
into my office, he couldn't form an intelligent sentence anymore. I
said, "Okay, it's time for you to go home. Don't come back for a few
days. We'll take care of it."

Bob: But you're a four-hours-sleep-per-night guy, is that right?

Pat: Four or five hours during the week, and I catch up a little bit on
weekends.
Bob: And you're not taking Red Bolt three times a day to keep going,
right?

Pat: I probably drink too much caffeine – coffee.

Bob: What is it inside you that drives you like that do you think?

Pat: Well, I think part of it's a godly passion; I think part of it is a focus on
wanting to accomplish certain things in technology and, certainly,
I'd say, at the ultimate and I think, for me, as an individual, as I
became a Christian, you know, realizing I was designed by God to
do certain things and do them to the absolute best and most
complete manner possible.

Dennis: Now, Pat, there would be those who just heard you make a
statement saying, "Now, wait a second. A godly passion? You're
going to pawn this off on God that you work 20 hours in a row on a
project?"

Pat: Well, I think God gives us certain giftedness and ultimately we're
fulfilling what He put into us as we go work, and when we're
passionate about things, whether it's passion about a project,
passionate about our spouse, passionate about a church activity,
we're supposed to do it all out to the greatest extent to the skills
that God has built into us from our very foundation.

Dennis: And how did you negotiate with your life, Linda, as you're working
20 hours a day? I mean, there had to be some give and take
because, like a farmer, there is a season where you have to go out
in the fields, and it's sunup to sundown or maybe even beyond.
And undoubtedly you had those conversations with Linda where
there was some agreement on how you're going to be spending
your time.

Pat: Yeah, and that's a great picture. You know, it is the seasons, and
just like a farmer, when the sun's out, time to make hay, go for it,
and do it as long as you can. And then there has to be those
seasons where you back off and say, "Okay, the chip's done now.
We have to take a break. We have to have time together. We
have to balance those periods of time."

Bob: So you really do work it out with an understanding that this isn't how
life is going to be, and I'm sure there are folks in your corporate
environment who, if you wanted it to be that way all the time, they'd
make that happen for you, wouldn't they?
Pat: Absolutely, absolutely, and they're just so intent on their career that
that becomes their singular driving passion. But, you know,
worklife effectiveness – it's all about keeping these things in
balance, because we do need those times to rest, to restore family,
to spend time on those other priorities of life.

Bob: Have you always had a perspective of work that these things
needed to be in balance, or did you come to a point where you
said, "If they're not in balance, I'm in trouble?"

Pat: No, they needed to be chiseled into me, over time, and I think a lot
of the values and lessons that you learn and, certainly, Linda has
been a huge piece of challenging me at different times – "No,
you're not coming home consistently, you're not in balance right
now. We do need vacations," and learning those different tools that
have become foundations for my life today.

Dennis: Okay, Pat, you had a promotion every year for 15 years, the first 15
years you worked at Intel. At 32 you were the youngest vice
president ever named in the history of the organization. What
advice would you have for a wife who is married to the man on the
fast track? He's a driven businessman, he likes what he does, he's
good at what he does. What would you say to her? In other words,
what has Linda done best in your life to get your attention over the
years?

Pat: One is obviously be a partner with them, don't just let it be their
career. Participate with them. Ask how is it going? What's going
well? And dig to that next level of feeling and motion as well. Make
it your career as well.

Also be there for the times where it doesn't go well, because even
in 15 years of straight promotions there were times when I hit
potholes along the way, and it's at those times where the greatest
learning and depth of relationship can occur.

And also be ready to challenge. You know, they will, I did,

everyone does – will fall out of balance. We lose priorities along
the way and be ready to say no. We need vacation. No. You've
done this constantly for the last year. It's time for us to take a break
together.

Dennis: So you're saying speak the truth in love, and you may have to
speak the truth with tears to get his attention.
Pat: And sometimes you may have to speak in a higher volume as well.
This isn't an easy – it's a very challenging period of life – kids, work,
school – all these things are just clamoring for his attention, and
you have to say "No, these are the priorities – God, family, work."
That is the godly structure.

Dennis: And I would add to that list you just gave, and appeal to wives not
to resent their husband's job. Just reflecting back on the job my
own wife has done in terms of loving me in the midst of a career,
certainly not like yours, Pat, but …

Pat: You've done okay for yourself.

Dennis: In building a ministry – well, I haven't built any chips, but hopefully
we have built some families here at FamilyLife, but the ministry
extracts a price, and people don't see it. They don't see it when
you go home, the phone calls need to be made, the people that
need to be visited, but a wife does. And the thing that I never, ever
felt was that Barbara every resented that work.

And a wife might say, "Well, how could she resent a ministry to
building marriages and family?" Well, I'm going to tell you
something – very easily. If it's having a negative impact from time
to time on your family, it's at those points where I go back to your –
one of your pieces of advice to women – be a partner with him.
Don't be a nagging wife who is angry and embittered about a job
that's extracting a price from your husband.

Pat: I always go back to the Genesis, "Leave, cleave, and weave your
lives together." It's not his career. It's your family's career and
sometimes when he's been knocked off the truck, comes home
bruised and battered, there's no time that he's more ready to hear,
be supported, and be partnered than at those very toughest
moments. And if you're bitter about it, you've lost every opportunity
to meet him at his greatest and deepest need.

Bob: So what should a wife do if the plan for the family vacation that's
been all settled and everybody's agreed to just happens to come at
the same time as the PC Expo in New York City with the new
rollout, huh?

Pat: Well, I talk about that story a little bit where I made a decision to
keep a family vacation commitment, and it was a tough decision.

Bob: Tell us the circumstances around which that happened.

Pat: There was an important project launch going to occur, it came out
of my group. I was supposed to be the executive announcing the
product. It ended up that the time that the product was ready, the
national announcement window occurred on top of a vacation plan,
and I told Andy Grove that I was going to keep my commitment to
the family vacation, and I was going to have one of my team
members do the product announcement, and he said "No, you will
do the product announcement." And I said, "No, I made a
commitment to my family, and I'm going to keep it."

Dennis: Now, you're really talking to the CEO here.

Pat: The president, the CEO, "Time" magazine "Man of the Year," yeah,
this is …

Dennis: You're standing toe-to-toe with him.

Pat: Yeah, and he said, "No, you're going to do this," and I said, "No, I'm
going to keep my family commitment." And I did, and he was
upset. The product launch didn't go particularly well, which added
fuel to the fire, and I was on the blackest of blacklists. But those
are the times where your real character is formed, tested, and really
demonstrated.

And ultimately I weathered that storm. It was not a fun storm, by

any means at all, but I kept my commitment, and that spoke
volumes to my family as well as to my co-workers.

Bob: I'm guessing you didn't have a real great vacation, though. You
had to stay halfway connected to find out what was going on, and
hearing it wasn't going well, and …

Pat: I was challenged to be disconnected in that particular vacation,

indeed.

Bob: It's not a big day at the water park if Dad's learning on his cell
phone that the …

Pat: I was almost afraid to connect and understand or read the papers.
I tried to stay a little bit away from it.

Dennis: I have one more question about that – what would you have done if
Andy would have said, "Either go or you're out of here."

Pat: I would have kept the same commitment. I mean, that decision
was made before I said the first no. That was the priority. And
 ultimately, I think, we, as employees, have to build this bank
account where our workplaces look at this huge valuable, they
understand our character, our ethics, we're absolutely the best in
everything that we do so that when we do make those tough calls,
and, you know, hey, if it wasn't a big vacation, I would have said,
"Oh, sure, change it." You know, if I could have flexibly done it. It's
not just a matter of, "Oh, I made this commitment, I've got to go do
it. I think we have to be willing in this whole view of balance to
make trade-offs like this, but this was an important one. It had a lot
plans, a lot of commitments around it, and I said, "No, that's the
priority of our family right now, and they take higher priority than
work."

And, at the end of it, we came through okay, but it was a pretty
difficult six months.

Bob: There are a lot of dads who talk about wanting to be there for their
kids games or for the school plays or for this or for that – your job
enables you to do that sometime but not all the time. That's just
part of what goes with the territory. Have you ever thought, "I need
a job that will let me be there for all the games, and if this isn't it, I
should get a different one."

Pat: Well, I've certainly gone through those periods of time of struggle,
make decisions with regard to independent assignments and so on
as I go and make those decisions. I certainly do everything
possible to be there for the games. Sometimes I'll fly home just to
attend a game and fly out that night yet just so I could be there. So
I got to great lengths to make it happen.

But, yeah, all of us go through those struggles, and that's part of the
challenge. You know, this isn't an end point, this is a journey, and
in the journey you make those decisions every day.

Dennis: You know, Pat, what I have appreciated about not only what you've
said here but what you wrote about in your book, "Balancing Your
Family Faith and Work," is all of these principles that you espouse
ultimately have become convictions.

And, you know, there are a lot of people who write mission
statements, who write plans, who write goals, but they don't live by
them. They don't make their choices and decisions by them.

But as you illustrated in going toe-to-toe with the CEO and

president of Intel around the family vacation, you know what your
convictions are, and you know where you're headed, and even
 though you occasionally, undoubtedly, make a mistake or two and
bend some of those perhaps too much, you continually make
decisions around your life, around these goals, these vision
statements, these plans and dreams of yours, and that's how you
ultimately build a successful life.

Pat: Yeah, I think it's, you know, as you see in Scripture, you see the
great men of Scripture, Daniel is one of my favorites. He was the
advisor. Think of him as the prime minister to three generations of
leadership and just, over his life, you see this conviction of his
personality, of his priorities, and what he did. I think all of us should
look at those as – those are the role models that, over each
generation in my life, I've gotten my giving under control, and now
that is just part of my life. I've gotten my time under control that's
part of my life. I know how I'm ministering through my workplace or
my family. And each one of those just building up this legacy of a
lifetime of commitment to living your goals, your priorities, and
becoming more and more like Christ would want you to be as you
approach the finish line.

Bob: Have you had situations where guys at Intel who know about your
faith have come and shut the door and say, "I need to talk about
something that's not work-related."

Pat: Oh, absolutely.

Bob: And are you comfortable in that environment with the door shut not
talking about Intel, sharing your faith and even praying with
somebody to come to faith?

Pat: My simple guideline I have for that is when somebody wants to be

at the personal level, I got to the personal level with them, whatever
they want to talk to – faith, or any other subject. If they choose to
stay at the professional level, I stay at the professional level and,
particularly, given the role I have in the workplace. I don't think it's
appropriate for me to be challenging them in that regard, but if they
ask about my faith, the door is wide open, go for it.

Dennis: In fact, you have, as one of your goals – and I like this – assist in
bringing to Christ or to a much greater degree of Christian maturity
over 100 people. And later on in the book, you actually amend that
statement, or you talk about how mentally you were thinking about
amending that statement not to make it 100 people but to make it
10. Now, why did you move from a broader number of wanting 100
to come to faith in Christ and growth to maturity to a smaller
number of just 10?
Pat: Well, I guess, just as I've been growing and maturing myself, you
touch a lot of people and how many people have you touched,
Dennis? Who knows how many millions have been touched in
some way, and you might have had some little seed that you've
touched in their life and along the journey as you go, many of those
occur. But how many have you really touched, like Christ could say
about His disciples – that you've invested in, you know deeply,
personally, that those are the people that you'd go to the cross for,
and they know you would do likewise, and that's much more the
thought of the 10. You know, those who I would have invested in
so heavily, so significantly, that you'd almost say they're disciples at
that level of intimacy and maturity.

Dennis: How many of those 10 are in place right now?

Pat: I could point to three today.

Dennis: And you're how old?

Pat: Forty-five.

Dennis: There's time. I really applaud the objective, though, seriously,

because as I read that goal, and I thought about it, I thought what if
every Christian, every follower of Christ, had that as a goal? It is
the heart of the Great Commission.

Jesus said to go and to teach, and the command of that passage in

Matthew 28:19-20, is that we make disciples. We're teaching the
things that Christ taught in making disciples. The command to go
was actually a statement "As you are going, teach those," and it's
as a way of life we should be making disciples along the way, and I
think you model that in a great way.

Pat: Okay, what's God doing here? How can I join Him in that?
Where's the opportunity that He's given me in this circumstance
and this day?

Dennis: Well, in case our listeners ever wonder if there's a business man or
woman in a high place in corporate America [Intel theme] here's a
good illustration right here, and you need to know that in his list of
goals, is president of Intel.

Bob: Well, his boss knows that, right?

Dennis: Well, I tell you what, if you become president, will you come back
on FamilyLife Today and let us talk about that?

Pat: Well, I'll see if I can fit it into my priorities.

[laughter]

Dennis: Well said.

Bob: We've got copies of the book that Pat has written in our FamilyLife
Resource Center. The book is called "Balancing Your Family,
Faith, and Work," and that's a tricky balance, as you've heard us
say today, but it can be done, and it helps to have a little counsel
from somebody who has been doing it for years.

Go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and if you'd like more

information on this book, you'll see a red button in the middle of the
page that says "Go" on it, and if you click that button, it will take you
to the area of the site where you can find out more about Pat's
book. You could also order it online, if you'd like, and you'll find out
about other resources that are available from us here at FamilyLife.

In fact, you and your wife, Barbara, wrote a book a few years ago
called "Pressure Proof Your Marriage," that helps folks deal with
the pace of life and with establishing priorities and making marriage
the priority that it ought to be and keeping the work assignment in
the proper perspective with all of that.

Some of our listeners may want to get a copy of your book as well.
In fact, any of our listeners who would like both books, we'll send
along at no additional cost the CD that features our interaction this
week with Pat Gelsinger. You can listen to that again or you can
pass it along to someone who would benefit from listening to that
CD.

Get all the details on our website at FamilyLife.com. Again, click

the red button in the middle of the screen that says "Go," and that
will get you the information you need on how you can request these
resources. Or call us at 1-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-F-as-in-
family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and someone on our
team will let you know how you can get these resources sent to
you.

You know, you think of February as the month of romance, and yet
once Valentine's Day is gone, we kind of forget romance. We let it
slip and slide again. During the month of February, we're making
 available a thank you gift to any of our listeners who are able to
help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today with a donation of any
amount.

Our ministry is listener-supported, which means that folks like you

make donations so that we can be on the air in this city and in other
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More than 60 percent of the revenue we need to continue this

ministry comes from folks like you making donations to our ministry.
And this month when you make a donation of any amount, we'd
love to send you a special thank you gift. It's a CD that has two
messages on it. One from C.J. Mahaney and the other from his
wife, Carolyn. Together, they've written a book called "Sex,
Romance, and the Glory of God," and these two messages provide
romance basics for husbands and for wives. And the CD is our
thank you gift to you this month when you make a donation of any
amount to FamilyLife Today, and you request a copy of the CD.

You can go to our website, FamilyLife.com, and there's a form on

the website you can fill out to make a donation. There's a keycode
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word TODAY, make a donation over the phone, and be sure to
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we'll be happy to send it out to you.

Again, it's our way of saying thanks for your partnership with us and
your financial support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.

Well, tomorrow Pat Gelsinger is going to be back with us, and we're
going to hear a little bit about his personal mission statement and
about some of his life goals. I hope you can be with us for that.

I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire
broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey,
I'm Bob Lepine. We'll see you next time for another edition of
FamilyLife Today.

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