Piper Sowald Listening Styles 10/28/2021

There are many listening styles that a person can use to listen to another person. Listening

to and hearing someone are two different things. According to Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld

listening means “the process of receiving and responding to other’s messages” (Adler et al.,

2021). While hearing according to Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld means “the process in which

sound waves strike the eardrum and cause vibrations that are transmitted to the brain” (Adler et

al., 2021). So just because someone can hear you does not mean they are mindfully listening to

you. When you listen, you are taking what you are hearing and giving it a meaning. This also

means that mindful listening actually requires brain power and mental effort to par-take in the

activity. Hearing is automatic, listening is not.

Task-oriented listening described by Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld “is most concerned

with efficiency and accomplishing the job at hand” (Adler et al., 2021). Task-oriented listening

would be most relevant for a position like a project manager. They are very good at making sure

their employees stay on task, get the job done properly, and in a timely manner. My score on the

task-oriented listening was an 11. Clearly, I am not very task-oriented most of the time. My

ADD surely does not help it. This style of listening was more prevalent when I was younger at

my first job and trying to juggle doing a million things at once. I felt I was decent at keeping the

customer service line movingly and did not chit chat very much because I was so focused on

getting the customers out the door and not upset at me for taking too long.

Relational listening described by Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld “is most concerned with

building emotional closeness with others” (Adler et al., 2021). This would be seen when trying to

keep or build a new relationship with someone. You are trying to get to know one another better

and connect with them on a more personal level. I scored highest in this category, 34. I am not

surprised at all by this, since I very much like to have more personal and deeper relationships
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with my friends. I do not like the superficial friendships that do not have much meaning. I use

this listening all the time when I hang out with my friends. I hardly ever hang out with more than

1 or 2 at a time, so I can connect with them better and know that I am included in the

conversations.

Analytical listening described by Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld “emphasizes attending to

the full message before coming to judgement” (Adler et al., 2021). This would be most relevant

for a psychologist. They want to help analyze someone’s thoughts and emotions to help them fix

a problem. This listening has come into play when I have a friend that is searching for advice of

how to fix one of their problems, although I do not feel I give great advice on the spot. My score

for this listening style was a 27. I believe this is because my mother is a psychologist and I have

grown up trying to analyze situations or figure out what my mom is thinking about a situation of

my own. I also do try to not make snap judgements about people I do not know.

Finally, critical listening is described by Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld to “have a strong

desire to evaluate messages” (Adler et al., 2021). I feel this would be most relevant for an

English teacher. This way they can correct people when they say something the wrong way or

spell something wrong. I have had a few people in my life that like to focus on how I say

something and if it is worded wrong. I have never been good at writing papers overall, so I

normally have someone proof-read my work and let me know what needs fixed or how I could

do better on the paper. My score in this category was a 23. I am very good at spelling compared

to many others, so I tend to notice on paper if someone is spelling something wrong. Sometimes,

I will also notice if someone contradicts themselves when they are speaking, then I just get

confused.
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The style that I scored lowest in was the task-oriented listening. I feel I used to be better

at this when I had my first job and with my current job that demands less stress and attention

overall, I have lost this kind of listening to become lazier. I would like to improve this by not

trying to catch up with my friends every time I go into work. I just need to concentrate on my

work and the day will go by faster if I just keep going. I feel that silent listening would help me

to accomplish this better by keeping my phone put away and if my friend talks to me, then I can

just listen and nod my head, but I need to not go into detail about how I have been. As told by

Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld silent listening, “allows you to stay attentive and nonverbally

responsive without offering any verbal feedback” (Adler et al., 2021). Another way I can do

better in task-oriented listening is to paraphrase what my friends tell me and move on with my

work. Paraphrasing as Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld said, “is feedback that restates, in your own

words, the message you thought the speaker sent” (Adler et al., 2021).

Some nonverbal skills I can use to improve my listening overall are using haptics to

convey sadness, love, or appreciation towards my loved ones or co-workers. Haptics according

to Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld “distinguish the study of touching” (Adler et al., 2021). I can

also do this more with my daughter to show I am listening to what she is saying or telling me.

Another way to improve my listening would be to use eye contact to show whoever I am talking

to that I am listening. I can also nod my head to show I understand what the person is telling me.

Per Adler, Proctor, and Rosenfeld “Oculesics is the study of how the eyes can communicate” and

“kinesics describes the study of how people communicate through bodily movements” (Adler et

al., 2021).

In conclusion, I learned that I listen best to someone that I want to get to know better or

in one-on-one conversations that are deeper and more personal. I have learned that I also need to
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work on my task-oriented listening by focusing more on my work and less on my social life at

work. I can always talk to my friends outside of work instead. This test did help me to realize

what listening skills I need to work on and how to better accomplish everything. I am still

lacking a bit of efficiency and will power to just tell my friends that I need to get my homework

done or my job done before I can talk to them. I get distracted so easily and it is quite hard for

me to stare at a computer and work continuously for 4-8 hours. I will work on my listening skills

in the end and do my best to stay more on task and talk less during work.

Reference APA

Adler, R., Proctor, R., & Rosenfeld, L. (2021). Interplay: The process of interpersonal

communication. New York: Oxford University Press.