 The Association for Family Therapy 2000.

Published by Blackwell Publishers, 108 Cowley

Road, Oxford, OX4 1JF, UK and 350 Main Street, Malden, MA 02148, USA.
Journal of Family Therapy (2000) 22: 104–116
0163–4445

Premarital counselling: a focus for family therapy

Robert F. Stahmanna

Premarital counselling has not been identified as an area of practice in

recent surveys of family therapists. Yet this preventive approach is an area
that is receiving much attention worldwide as some governmental units are
requiring premarital counselling as a means to reduce divorce and
strengthen families. A descriptive overview of premarital counselling ratio-
nale, process, content and effectiveness is presented and the possible role
of family therapists offering this service is discussed.

Introduction
Today there is a growing movement for governmental units to seek
measures to strengthen families in society. In the UK in November
1998, The Home Secretary, Jack Straw, released the ‘Supporting
Families’ consultation paper aimed at shoring up families and to
provide resources to do so. It was proposed that churches, other
faiths and register offices would give a pre-marriage packet to a
couple before they married which would include a statement of
rights and responsibilities. Also under the proposal, couples would
be required to give notice (apply) of their intention to marry at
least fifteen days before the wedding, in contrast to the twenty-four-
hour notice now required (Ford, 1998).
In the UK and elsewhere (e.g. Australia, Austria, Canada, the
United States), these and similar preventive efforts are an attempt
to intervene with couples at the transition point of beginning
marriage in order to give them a better base for a stable and satis-
factory marriage. The stated aim is that by improving the prospec-
tive marital relationship divorce will be reduced as well as, and
hopefully related, problems such as domestic violence and child
abuse. Reductions in marital breakup would presumably enhance

a Professor, Marriage and Family Therapy, 240 TLRB, Brigham Young

University, Provo, UT 84602, USA.

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 Premarital counselling 105
the mental and physical health of those involved, and the political
hope is that this would lead to a decrease in the amount of govern-
ment funds currently used for treating individuals and families and
coping with the societal consequences of marital breakdown.
Currently, therefore, there is much political interest in marriage
preparation and premarital counselling as services provided in the
community.

Premarital counselling and marital preparation

Premarital counselling generally refers to a process designed to
enhance and enrich premarital relationships leading to more satis-
factory and stable marriages with the intended consequence being
to prevent divorce. In remarital counselling, where one or both
partners have been previously married, there is the added dimen-
sion of dealing with how that experience, and any children from the
previous marital relationship, affects the current premarital rela-
tionship – this may well be linked to stepfamily issues. Both of these
activities can be termed marital preparation, with the other princi-
pal method of marital preparation in secular settings being family
life education. Premarital counselling is typically undertaken with
relatively functional and psychologically healthy people, whereas
severe problems are dealt with in longer term counselling or ther-
apy (Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997a). Typical goals of the various
approaches to marital preparation include: (1) easing the transition
from single to married life, (2) increasing couple stability and satis-
faction for the short and long term, (3) enhancing the communi-
cations skills of the couple, (4) increasing friendship and
commitment to the relationship, (5) increasing couple intimacy,
(6) enhancing problem-solving and decision-making skills in such
areas as marital roles and finances (Stahmann and Salts, 1993).
There are three main groups of people who directly provide or
oversee most premarital counselling: clergy, mental health workers
and physicians. These providers may also involve lay persons in the
role of mentors in their efforts to maximize the participants’ goals
of strengthening their forthcoming marriage. The evidence is that
the majority of premarital counselling is undertaken in church
settings, with a significant amount in other contexts however, such
as college and university counselling centres and training clinics
(e.g. marriage and family counselling training programme clinics),
community mental health centres, governmental family service

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106 Robert F. Stahmann
agencies, and by mental health professionals in private practice.
Clergy, in performing the greatest amount of formal premarital
counselling, do so as part of an optional or mandatory marriage
preparation programme before a religious wedding ceremony or
service. Premarital preparation has been described from a Catholic
perspective (Markey, 1998), a Jewish perspective (Dalin, 1998), and
a Protestant perspective (Anderson, 1998). Physicians also under-
take some form of premarital counselling but this is usually limited
to one meeting where they give contraceptive and sexual informa-
tion. Professionals with a mental health background typically offer
premarital counselling most often to those who have been divorced,
are preparing to marry again, and who want to avoid another
divorce. Relate, the largest provider of couples counselling in the
UK, has a long history of providing marriage preparation. The prin-
cipal way it delivers this service is via educationally orientated
courses undertaken in co-operation with local churches. These
courses focus on communication, dealing with conflict and creating
an understanding of the life stages within marriage/relationships.
As would be expected, premarital counselling occurs when a couple
is in a relationship and is seeking to strengthen that relationship or
seeking information about (evaluating) it. Thus premarital coun-
selling is educational, remedial and preventive (Stahmann and
Hiebert, 1997a).

Family life education

In the United States, family life education programmes are found
in high schools and colleges, and more recently through commu-
nity adult education. Such courses and programmes are usually
structured so that participants gain knowledge about marriage
and relationships and learn to apply that knowledge in practical
ways. Therefore, goals may include information about marriage
(e.g. marriage statistics, marital satisfaction and stability factors),
skill development (e.g. communication, problem-solving, deci-
sion-making), exploring values and attitudes (e.g. marital expec-
tations, roles, beliefs), and family background (e.g. homogamy,
parenting). Specific goals in family life education classes differ
due to the varying ages and developmental levels of the partici-
pants.
The British educational system does not deal specifically with
family/marital education. It is expected that through a programme

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 Premarital counselling 107
of personal, social and health education (PHSE) these issues will be
addressed. However, PHSE provision is varied from being almost
non-existent to professionally delivered. Under the current review
of the National Curriculum it is hoped that a new structured PHSE
programme will be established for all schools which will include
relationship education and sex education.

Effectiveness of marriage preparation

The effectiveness of marriage preparation, whether counselling or
educational, has not been clearly established. Much of the literature
is clinical observation or participant self-report regarding the
premarital counselling or educational experience (Giblin et al.,
1985; Stanley et al., 1995). A review of the literature related to
premarital counselling (Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997a) found that
most studies reported positive effects, while some showed minimal
or no effect of marriage preparation efforts. No studies have
demonstrated negative effects for couples or individuals who parti-
cipated in various marriage preparation programmes. The results
were often mixed, showing some areas of positive impact or change
and some showing no impact. It should be noted that in compari-
son to other areas of marital counselling and therapy, there are very
few outcome studies dealing with premarital counselling in the liter-
ature, with these studies varying greatly in treatment design, format
and scientific rigour. Yet there are some notable examples. In a
four-year follow-up of married couples who had participated in
PREP (prevention and relationship enhancement programme)
training, these couples demonstrated more positive and less nega-
tive communication than control couples, but the two groups did
not differ on marital adjustment (Markman et al., 1993). The latter
finding has not been fully explored however. Another study
(Hahlweg et al., 1998) reported a three-year follow-up of German
couples who participated in a premarital couple communications
and problem-solving skill programme similar to PREP. After three
years, participant couples, who were then married, showed signifi-
cant positive differences in regard to dissolution rates, relationship
satisfaction and positive communication behaviours in comparison
to a control group.
Parish (1992) studied the premarital assessment programme
(PAP) compared to a combined couples communication
programme and premarital assessment programme (CCPAP), but

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108 Robert F. Stahmann
unfortunately there was no treatment control group. It was found
that the CCPAP, which combined communications training with the
premarital exercises of the PAP ( (1) dating history and wedding
plans; (2) expectations, roles, needs, goals; (3) family, finances,
friends, fun; (4) parents meeting; (5) communication and conflict;
(6) values and sexuality) yielded significant improvement on post-
test measures of dyadic adjustment and commitment to continu-
ance of the relationship. The provision of information about
content areas, such as those in the PAP in combination with
communications skill-building, appear to have some effectiveness in
achieving the short-term goals of marital preparation, but as yet the
achievement of long-term goals has not been demonstrated. Clearly
the beginnings of an empirical base for family therapists to design
and provide premarital counselling exists; however, they should
continue to study and refine the process in order to ensure the most
effective and appropriate outcomes. At a recent conference
discussing the potential of prevention as a means to deal with mari-
tal distress and divorce, University of Denver researchers Scott
Stanley and Howard Markman stated that ‘We should conduct more
research and we should act on the knowledge that currently exists’
(Stanley and Markman, 1997: 2).

Specific premarital programmes

The following is a brief overview of four approaches to premarital
counselling and education that have been widely used. These
programmes have stimulated research as to their effectiveness.
The relationship enhancement programme (RE) developed by
Bernard Guerney and colleagues at Pennsylvania State University is
among the earliest programmes developed, and one that continues
to be widely used and to stimulate research (Guerney, 1977;
Guerney et al., 1986). RE is a group programme focused on
strengthening and enhancing nine positive relationship factors by
increasing caring, giving, understanding, honesty, openness, trust,
sharing, compassion and harmony. Participants learn a set of nine
skills associated with these relationship factors. The idea is that as
couples achieve or enhance these nine skill areas, they will elimi-
nate and/or be better able to deal with pain and distress in their
relationship. Several studies have demonstrated that participants in
RE have shown significantly greater gains in relationship quality
and communication in comparison to wait list control groups

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 Premarital counselling 109
(Guerney, 1988). The RE programme has been termed a health
promotion programme (Van Widenfeldt et al., 1997).
The prevention and relationship enhancement programme (PREP)
developed by Howard Markman and colleagues at the University of
Denver is also a group programme (Markman et al., 1994). In the
PREP approach, couples are taught skills in handling conflict (male
and female differences in handling conflict, the speaker-listener
technique, problem-solving), dealing with core issues (expecta-
tions, commitment, forgiveness and the restoration of intimacy),
and enhancement (friendship, fun, sex life, core belief systems).
PREP interventions are based on the idea that it is the negative
aspects of a couple’s relationship, not the positive aspects, that are
the important focus. In other words, it is the number of negatives,
not the number of positives, that break couples up. Therefore,
couples are taught what ineffective communication is, and are also
taught skills in effective communication. As cited above, PREP has
been shown to be effective in three- and five-year follow-up studies
with such variables as positive communication, relationship satisfac-
tion and marital stability. PREP has been termed a prevention
programme (Van Wedenfelt et al., 1997).
The prepare/enrich programme was developed by David Olson and
colleagues at the University of Minnesota as a means to provide
feedback to couples who had taken a premarital inventory,
PREPARE (Olson, 1996). PREPARE (PREmarital Personal And
Relationship Evaluation) assesses the eleven relationship areas of
marriage expectations, personality issues, communication,
conflict resolution, financial management, leisure activities,
sexual relationship, children and parenting, family and friends,
role relationship, and spiritual beliefs. A separate idealistic distor-
tion scale serves as a correction score for idealism. Four additional
scales assess cohesion and adaptability in the current couple rela-
tionship and each individual’s family of origin. The four person-
ality traits of assertiveness, self-confidence, avoidance of problems
and partner dominance are assessed. Once PREPARE is taken by
the couple, the results are sent for computer scoring. The coun-
sellor receives a computer report of the inventory results which
then become the basis for a three-session (or more) process of
counselling, outlined in a work book and guide furnished for the
counsellor and clients. The exercises and information focus on
identifying and sharing strength and growth areas, assertiveness
and active listening skills, resolving couple conflict, couple and

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110 Robert F. Stahmann
family-of-origin types, financial management, and making goals a
reality. The PREPARE programme could be termed an inventory-
based programme.
The integrative premarital counselling programme (Stahmann and
Hiebert, 1997a) was developed by myself at Brigham Young
University and William Hiebert at the Marriage and Family
Counselling Service. This programme can be used with individual
couples or in groups. It assumes that couples can enhance their
relationship and thereby increase their likelihood of marital success
and satisfaction. It is termed integrative because it utilizes concepts,
skills and information from many aspects of family systems, marital
interaction and skill-building. Components of the integrative
approach include goal-setting and expectations of the counselling,
doing a ‘dynamic relationship history’ with the couple, exploring
each partner’s family of origin, the use of a premarital assessment
inventory such as PREPARE, FOCUS or RELATE, the inclusion of
relationship skill-building exercises from programmes such as RE
and PREP, information and discussion on topics and issues such as
commitment, marital and individual roles, finances, intimacy, sexu-
ality, careers, leisure activities, wedding preparation, etc. It is
suggested that, where possible, the couple’s parent(s) be invited to
a counselling session for the recognition of the ‘new’ married
couple and to pass on wisdom from one generation to the other. It
is also recommended that a post-wedding follow-up session be
scheduled for about six months after the wedding.

Family therapists and premarital counselling

Premarital counselling as defined above has not been identified as
a regular part of clinical practice of today’s family therapists. In two
recent surveys, one of UK family therapists who were members of
the Association of Family Therapy (AFT) (Bor et al., 1998) and
another of US family therapists who were members of the
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
(Doherty and Simmons, 1996), premarital counselling was not
listed as a category of practice. In these surveys, the direct question
as to whether the therapists were involved in premarital coun-
selling was apparently not asked. Further, in both studies, the
results did show that none of the ‘client problems’ or ‘presenting
problems’ identified by therapists included the terms premarital or
remarital. While the surveys did indicate that the therapists

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 Premarital counselling 111
reported working with stepfamily problems, post-divorce problems,
post-divorce conflict, adjustment disorders and other dyadic prob-
lems, it was not clear whether these client problems were related to
the therapeutic context of preparation for marriage by the clients.
Yet, in the early literature, directives are found for counsellors and
therapists to be involved in premarital counselling. Aaron Rutledge
argued that if all clinicians devoted a quarter of their time to
premarital counselling, they could make a greater impact on the
health of the country than through all their remaining therapeutic
activities (Rutledge, 1966). David Mace challenged marriage coun-
sellors to move out of the remedial routine and focus their ener-
gies on marriage preparation and marriage enrichment (Mace,
1972). More recently, premarital counselling by family therapists
was advocated at an international family therapy conference held
in Prague (Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997b).

Guidelines for premarital counselling

The following are research and clinically based guidelines and
points to consider for those who are designing premarital interven-
tions (Center for Marriage and Family, 1995; Jones and Stahmann,
1994; Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997a; Stanley et al., 1995). Those
seeking counselling or education prior to marriage are not all
unmarried, since counsellors report that 30% to 40% of their
premarital counselling clients were previously married (Stahmann
and Hiebert, 1997a). Those who benefit most from premarital
counselling must voluntarily seek it rather than be forced into it
(Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997a; Stanley et al., 1995). In the United
States, most married couples say that they would have participated
in such counselling if it had been offered (Center for Marriage and
Family, 1995; Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997a). Premarital coun-
selling needs to be seen as a developmental process designed to
assist the couple in enhancing their relationship – it is not a screen-
ing process (Jones and Stahmann, 1994; Stahmann and Hiebert,
1997a). The participants use the insights and information gained to
make decisions about their relationship (Center for Marriage and
Family, 1995). Persons requesting premarital counselling expect to
learn about themselves to some extent, but primarily to learn about
their relationship and each other (Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997a).
Much premarital counselling is done in groups with the advan-
tage that the group format is economical in that more couples can

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112 Robert F. Stahmann
be served by fewer counsellors or leaders. A group experience also
provides a couple with the opportunity to compare and contrast
their relationship with others’. This can ‘normalize’ premarital and
marital adjustment in healthy ways. Groups also provide feedback
from others, and partners can observe how their future spouse
interacts with others in that setting. The limitations of group
format however include the specific need of some couples not be
addressed because of time constraints or programme design and
the domination of the group by one couple or theme. It may be
that some individuals or couples do not disclose or interact as
freely in a group setting, either because they are afraid of a group
situation or because they are not able to comfortably talk in a
group setting. Couples and counsellors favour conjoint sessions
rather than individual sessions. Clearly the advantages of meeting
with an individual couple alone are that the counsellor can focus
attention and energy on them instead of dealing with group
processes and issues. Topics can be personalized to meet the
couple’s specific needs and situation. Further, in conjoint work the
couple must focus on their own issues and skills, and cannot be
side-tracked by issues of others.
In settings where a team offers premarital counselling, such as
is often true in the Catholic Church, a team of clergy, lay couples
and parish staff has been rated as most helpful (Center for
Marriage and Family, 1995). The use of a comprehensive premar-
ital assessment instrument is a valuable component of the
premarital counselling process and contributes to it. It is impor-
tant that counsellors are aware of a range of topics such as
marriage quality and stability, family-of-origin influences,
finance/budgeting, communication, decision-making, intimacy,
parenting, sexuality, and use that information in the design and
delivery of the counselling and education. It is most beneficial if
obtained early on in the relationship and several months before
the wedding. While the number of sessions or meetings depends
upon many factors, there must be sufficient time spent in the
process, and it must be spread across an adequate time span so
that the partners can integrate the information and experience
into their lives. The offering of post-wedding follow-up session(s)
is an important part of premarital counselling. This session is
typically scheduled at the time of the last premarital session, for
a date some four to six months after the wedding (Stahmann and
Hiebert, 1997a).

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 Premarital counselling 113

Moving forward
Throughout the world there is emerging an emphasis on both
remedial and preventive mental health services. Family therapists,
or psychotherapists with a family systems perspective and training,
are recognized as being among the most effective in treating a wide
variety of mental health and relationship problems. Today we are
seeing a tremendous expansion in preventive services, particularly
premarital counselling. ‘The existing body of research provides
substantial guidance regarding the key risk factors associated with
marital failure and the probable best strategies to attempt to modify
those risks’ (Stanley and Markman, 1997: 14). Fowers et al. (1996:
103) have argued that ‘marriage and family therapists are uniquely
positioned to offer their expertise in this area’.
Family therapists are in a natural position to take leadership in
premarital counselling. It has been argued that for a person to
adequately provide premarital counselling, graduate study at
Master’s level is necessary (Stahmann and Hiebert, 1997a). This
graduate study should include at least some training in relationship
counselling, marital interaction, family dynamics and assessment.
Family therapists typically have such training as well as a family
systems perspective. Thus family therapists may be excellent
providers of premarital counselling as they are in touch with every-
day marital stresses and problems, they are comfortable in talking
about ‘sensitive’ topics such as sex and emotions, and indeed they
are expected to be knowledgeable about long-term relationships
and the commitment and preparation necessary for them. On the
other hand, family therapists must approach this work with some
caution as they, in preferring the role of therapist rather than that
of psycho-educator, may focus too much on dysfunction and
pathology and be too ‘clinical’ in their work with premarital
couples. Family therapists would also need to address their lack of
awareness of the research and theories regarding marital satisfac-
tion, success, quality and stability.

Conclusion
It is certainly a tradition among various schools of psychotherapy
to advise on the nature of ‘health’ and suggest ways in which the
human condition can be approached so that satisfaction with life
is attained. Within this educational aspect of psychotherapeutic

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114 Robert F. Stahmann
practice a preventive oriented activity is therefore something that
is worthwhile. As family therapy came into existence to help
ameliorate the problems and distress that are present in relation-
ships and families, premarital counselling is undoubtedly a prac-
tice activity that family and marital therapists should consider as
an area of service to offer.

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Internet premarital counselling resources

A site providing information on ‘a review of research on marital
breakdown and reasons and remedies’ in the UK and other coun-
tries is found at {www.marriageresource.org.uk}
The site for One Plus One, ‘pioneers in marriage and relation-
ship support’ {http://www.oneplusone.org.uk} provides numerous
links to sites dealing with programmes, research, counselling,
education, funding, family health, and related topics.
The site for the Prepare/Enrich Network UK and UK
Community Marriage Policies {http://www.cmp.mcmail.com} provides

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116 Robert F. Stahmann
information on assessment instruments and programmes to
strengthen marriages, as well as links to various related sites.
The site for the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples
Education (CMFCE) {http://smartmarriages.com} provides informa-
tion and articles from professional and popular press sources,
varied training opportunities and conferences, including the
annual Smart Marriages/Happy Families conference, and related
topics.
Sites for assessment instruments are: the FOCUS site for
Facilitating Open Communication, Understanding, & Study web site
is found at {http://www.foccusinc.com}; the PREPARE for PREmarital
Personal And Relationship Evaluation is found at web site
{http://www.lifeinnovation.com}; the RELATE for RELATionship
Evaluation web site is http://fhss.byu.edu/famsci/msc/relate.html}

 2000 The Association for Family Therapy and Systemic Practice