Two sides of the same conflict

The purpose of this essay is to briefly review and reflect on a two part conflict that occurs between
the mother and her daughter Lucy, in the book My Name Is Lucy Barton by Elisabeth Strout. The
altercation takes place at the room in which Lucy Barton, the main character, is hospitalised and has
her somewhat estranged mother visiting for her stay there.

In this particular disagreement Lucy’s mother mentions the name Elvis out of the blue. After they
briefly talked about his fame and late career a rather abrupt altercation takes place between them. It
begins when the mother says that only poor people, “cheapies” as she characterized them, listen to
him. “Eh he was just a Tupelo boy. A poor…”cheapies” (Strout, 2016, p.122). After a brief moment
of recollection, the mother goes on to say that “your father was right. He’s just a big old piece of
trash” (Strout, 2016, p.122) using what is described by Lucy as her “voice of her childhood”
(Strout, 2016, p.122) . Keeping in mind that this voice was something Lucy was afraid of and “it
used to grate her nerves” (Strout, 2016, p.89) , it triggers in my opinion her PTSD and so she tries
to mimic her mother just to not make her angry and uses the same word, “trash”. It is at this
moment that the first part, the internal one, of the conflict starts when Lucy says “we were trash.
That’s exactly what we where” (Strout, 2016, p.122), showing her deep resentment towards her
family.

This sparks the other side of the conflict, the external one. Her mother reacts strongly to what Lucy
said by throwing a tantrum. “Lucy Damn-dog Barton. I didn’t fly across the country to have you tell
me that we are trash.”, “My ancestors. ..And don’t you ever forget it.” (Strout, 2016, pp. 122-123).
Lucy quickly retracts her words that she clearly meant before by apologizing to her, ending the
external conflict without resolve. In the next lines we see both mother and daughter clearly holding
back, as Lucy states that she could “feel her fury” (Strout, 2016, p.123) all the while she silently
wishes for her mother to leave her and go home. In this part, we can see the internal turmoil Lucy
goes through, having to suppress her hate at how ignorant her mother is about their upbringing,
while also showing understanding to her mother because she doesn’t want her to leave. Strout
finishes the page with a strong message Lucy gives to her mother by drawing comparison to Elvis
who was “a poor boy from Tupelo, who loved his mother”, and herself “A poor girl from Amgash
who loved her mother too” (Strout, 2016, p,123). In the following morning the mother seems to
have already moved on, trying to continue a story that they didn’t finish earlier in the reading. And
although Lucy wakes up clearly angry, she seems to forget everything and goes along with her
mother forgetting everything. And so, no part of the conflict was ever truly resolved.

In my view, this scene in the book brilliantly summarizes the intricacies of their relationship with
this two part conflict. She really tries to bridge the gap between them by showing affection. She
also hates her because of the pain her mother and her father caused her. When she was young she
experienced really traumatic events that led her to leave the family in search of a better future, a
thing for which her parents never really forgave her. And after many years of growth without them,
Lucy still can’t fully shake of the bad feelings she has for her mother. But in the end, she is just a
girl from Amgash, Illinois who loves her momma.