Opsommer 1

“But his whole life was dominated by fear, the fear of failure and of weakness”
Grace Opsommer

Mrs. Bradshaw

AP Literature and Composition

24 Oct. 2021

Life Outside of Fear

Fear can become a controlling thing only if you let it have that power. Fear can

completely change a person, their goals, and their actions.

When I was little, it was things like the doctor and needles that I feared. I recall in second

grade I had to get my blood drawn at my yearly check up. I was terrified, and so instead of

simply facing my fear I lied and told my mom I had to go to the bathroom. I had not just gone to

the bathroom, but instead, I locked myself inside so as to avoid my fear: needles. In this

situation, my fear completely took over to the point where I was not acting like myself. I became

protective of myself and my body, determined to not let what I was afraid of hurt me.

Flash forward and a fear of needles became a fear of failure. This fear of needles, though

still relevant in my life today, is less significant now compared to some more serious anxieties

that I deal with on a daily basis. “But his whole life was dominated by fear, the fear of failure

and of weakness”. When I acted then, now I might freeze. These paralyzing fears, however, stem

from the same intention as before: to not let what I am afraid of hurt me. The hope ultimately is,

if I can avoid it long enough, the threat and stress of it all will just go away; although, this never

seems to work. I fear that I will fail to live up to my potential, potential that I have been told I

have so much of. I am so consumed by this fear that I struggle to make any decisions to promote

action in my future life and goals. Senior year of high school is an important and exciting year

for so many reasons: the future, college, moving on, moving out. However, this excitement only
 Opsommer 2
“But his whole life was dominated by fear, the fear of failure and of weakness”
comes if you have a plan; my fear is holding me back from even this. Instead, I am watching

from the audience as everyone else crosses the stage into their futures.

Now it is not only the fear of not amounting to anything in my future, but a fear of what

people will think when I do. Ultimately, it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks; however, to

me, it does. It matters because I am afraid of it; afraid, specifically, of what my parents, friends,

and anyone else will think. This once again comes back to potential, they all see this potential

within me that I am simply blind to. Consequently, this only adds more pressure to my need for

success, making it harder to move forward with any type of decision making. How can I be

expected to run a race when it feels like the people cheering me on the most are unknowingly

throwing obstacles onto the course?

I have always been the type of person who needs to know the whole plan before starting;

I want to see every step planned out before I take even one. I think that all of my fears stem from

feeling out of control. I have no control over what people think of me, or even what will happen

in my life; this is ultimately what scares me the most. It feels like it is me against the world in

this twisted game where no buttons I click seem to do anything productive; I am only a computer

player. I am watching my future unfold before me from a third person perspective, from a third

person, and I have no say. This is what holds me back from just living my life. Because, in

reality, I have the only say in what my future holds. What anyone else does or thinks should not

rob me of the control I have over my own life.

In many instances, fear can be a good thing if you are willing to face it; it pushes one to

try new things and explore new outcomes. If one is to live their life hiding from anything that is

challenging out of fear, they will miss out on a multitude of potentially positive events. And if

said events do not end positively, they will have missed out on a lesson to be learned.
 Opsommer 3
“But his whole life was dominated by fear, the fear of failure and of weakness”
Rather than letting my own life be dominated by fear, I want to challenge myself to live

presently and take everything one step at a time. I will no longer let fear have so much power and

control over me for this is no way to live.