Anna McManus 2022

MATCH.COM LITE

(OPEN ON: WOMAN SCROLLING THROUGH DATING

APP, PICTURES OF MEN WITH NICE CLOTHES

AND FANCY CARS, FRUSTRATED)

NARRATOR:

Are you struggling to find someone

your speed?

WOMAN:

Yeah…

(MAN SCROLLING THROUGH DATING APP,

PICTURES OF WOMEN FLEXING MONEY, SHOES,

PURSES)

NARRATOR:

Can’t afford to buy her another

nice dinner?

MAN:

Yeah…

NARRATOR:

Now introducing Match.com Lite, a

new version of your favorite dating

website, where you can be paired

with other people that didn’t want

to pay.
Anna McManus 2022

(CLIPS OF MEN AND WOMEN SCROLLING

THROUGH WEBSITE, PICTURES OF PEOPLE AT

RED ROBIN, JANKY CARS)

(CLIP OF COUPLE HOLDING HANDS, CHECKING

IN TO A MOTEL, BELLHOP GESTURES FOR A

TIP, MAN GIVES HIM A QUARTER)

NARRATOR:

Finally, no more expectations, no

more talk about picking up the

bill, because where you’re going,

there isn’t one.

(COUPLE DIGGING THROUGH DUMPSTERS,

SMILING)

WOMAN:

(WALKING UP TO A HOMELESS MAN ON THE

STREET)

Excuse me! Um, excuse me (POKING

HIM)

(MAN WAKES UP, SURPRISED)

WOMAN:

Are you Robby?

HOMELESS MAN:

Why yes I am…

(WOMAN AND MAN HEADING INTO A BEDROOM)

Anna McManus 2022

WOMAN:

I had a lot of fun tonight.

MAN:

Yeah, me too.

(KISS)

WOMAN:

Do you have protection?

MAN:

(HOLDS UP A PLASTIC GROCERY BAG)

(BOTH SMILE)

(WOMAN IN THE MORNING SEARCHING THROUGH

DRAWERS)

NARRATOR:

And wake up with one less watch.

NARRATOR:

Match.com Lite, where criminal

records don’t matter.

(COUPLE WALKING DOWN STREET, POLICE

LIGHTS FLASHING)

POLICE:

Hey! Hey! Get back here!

(MAN STARTS RUNNING)

(WOMAN APPALLED)
Anna McManus 2022

(WOMAN SITTING IN A COMEDY CLUB AUDIENCE

WITH THREE DRINKS)

NARRATOR:

Go to his comedy show where he

makes you buy three drinks to

support the venue, and listen to

him make racist jokes while making

intense eye contact with you.

(WOMEN STANDING IN THE WOODS NEXT TO TWO

BIG PILES OF DIRT)

NARRATOR:

Meet her parents.

WOMAN:

Oh God!

(A WOMAN SITTING ON THE STREET, WATCHING

A GROUP OF MEN DANCE AROUND)

NARRATOR:

He’ll take you to a musical…that he

wrote with his friends.

(CLIPS OF COUPLES AT EACH SITUATION

DESCRIBED ABOVE)

NARRATOR:
Anna McManus 2022

Match.com Lite. If you carry a

switchblade, you might just find

your forever.

(CLIPS OF COUPLES SMILING)

(TALKING QUICKLY, FINE PRINT)

Match.com Lite is not responsible

for any and all crimes associated

with the website. This includes

theft, assault, drugging, extreme

foot fetishes, lethal attempts at

getting frisky, and mattress money

laundering.