HE SAID, SHE

SAID…
CM310 Unit 5

Jacqueline HammondKaplan University

  Using the case study, “He Said, She Said,” discuss conflict styles. Specifically,

identify and describe the specific conflict styles and tactics each of the participants uses. In

addition, offer suggestions about how the participants could create a more constructive

conflict through flexibility.

In the Case “He Said, She Said…” I find myself very familiar with the dialogue. My

husband and I have a blended family and although our children are great kids, we find ourselves

struggling over how to discipline them. We each have our own disciplinary style and a lot of

conflicts have arisen due to our differences.

The case study is about Marie a divorced mother, her fifteen-year old son Lenny, and

her fiancé Mike who will be Lens’s stepfather after they get married. Mike has moved in with

Marie and has witnessed some behavioral issues with Lenny. He feels that Marie is too lenient

with Lenny and voices his disapproval with Marie on how she disciplines him, which creates a

conflict and power struggle between them. (Davis, n.d.)

The conflict starts when Lenny comes home past his curfew without letting his mother

know he is going to be late. As soon as he comes through the door Marie, his mother, begins to

scream at Lenny and ask him question after question. Mike hears the commotion and at first

tries to avoid the situation but eventually steps in to try and take control. He voices his concern

that Marie is letting Lenny get away without punishment, suggests that they all go to bed and
deal with it later. Marie argues with Mike and wants to deal with the issue at hand then and

there.

In the case study, it is evident that there is a power struggle between all three

individuals. Mike wants to be head of the house, and be able to make decisions regarding

Lens’s discipline. Marie, who has been in control because of having to be a single mother, wants

to keep control and protect her son. Lenny feels threatened by another man in the home,

(Mike) and wants to do whatever he wants.

Mike uses the avoidance style when he says, “let’s go to bed and deal with this in the

morning.” The avoidance style is where a party will use various methods to not address the

conflict. (Wilmot and Hocker, 2013). Marie on the other hand was using the dominant style in

conflict when she is overpowering Lenny by not letting him get a word in, yelling at him, and

she forcefully grabbed Mikes arm during the conflict. A dominating style will attempt to gain

power of the other party by direct confrontation. (Wilmot and Hocker, 2013). Lenny used the

compromise style by pleading with his mother that he would promise to call from now on and

do all of his chores if she would not punish him. The compromising style is one that will result in

a gain or loss for the parties involved. (Wilmot and Hocker, 2013).

After reading the case study I feel that Marie and Mike would be able to resolve their

issues if they would have used a collaborative or integrative style. By putting the relationship

ahead of their own agendas or goals they would be able to see the real issue. Lenny is
apparently acting out from the major power shift in the home due to Mike moving in. There is a

lack of respect from all parties involved and they would greatly benefit from a sit-down session

to take turns talking about their individual needs with in the family. They should all establish a

common goal, voice their concerns and needs, and try to come up with a solution that

transcends the conflict into a winning solution. Mike and Marie need to be able to respect one

another and communicate ideas on what is best for the family unit as a whole. Lenny needs to

understand, and cope with that fact that his mother has moved on and that Mike will be an

authorities figure in the home now. This family could really benefit from some counseling,

especially Lenny who is still just a teenager trying to deal with his parents’ divorce, and now

new family dynamic.

References

Wilmot W.W. and Hocker, J.L. (2013) Interpersonal Conflict, 8th Ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Davis, Deborah (n.d.). “He said, She Said…” Retrieved on 08/13/2017, from
http://kucourses.com