Stavola 1

Emma Stavola

Mrs. Scharf

ERWC Period 6

25 January 2022

Scholarship Essay

Rubric

After completing your Scholarship Essay Assignment, highlight in yellow what you believe

you earned on your Scholarship essay on the rubric below.

6 5 4 3 2 1
W 11-12.4 A little Reflection is thoughtful and The student reflects on The student Attempt No
Produce clear and more reveals the author has his/her essay and how reflect on the to reflect evidence
coherent writing successful reflected on specific aspects he/she revised. The changes he/she
in which the than a 5 of the essay and how to student shares some of made but the
development, revise. The writer seems the specific techniques reflection might
organization, and genuinely engaged in the and changes he/she made be more
style are process of reflecting and but could go into more surface-level or
appropriate to revising by writing about detail. to just “get it
task, purpose, and the changes she/he has over with”
audience. made.

W 11-12.5 A little Develop and strengthen Develop and strengthen Develop writing Attempt No
Develop and more writing multiple times as writing as needed by by revision or to revise evidence
strengthen writing successful needed by planning, planning, revising, planning.
as needed by than a 5 revising, editing, rewriting, editing, rewriting, or
planning, or trying a trying a new approach,
revising, editing, new approach, focusing on focusing on addressing
rewriting, or addressing what is most what is most significant
trying a new significant for a for a specific purpose and
approach, specific purpose and audience.
focusing on audience.
addressing what
is most
significant for a
specific purpose
and audience.

Original Essay

Write the essay’s prompt (recreate to the best of your ability) here:

● Write a multiparagraph essay that explains how the change in Lizabeth’s character helps
develop the theme in the short story, “Marigolds.” You may wish to consider simile,
metaphor, symbolism. Be sure to support your assertions with specific examples from
the text. Be sure to explain HOW the devices reveal Lizabeth’s loss of innocence.
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To the best of your knowledge, what scores did you earn on this essay? If you can’t

remember the scores, what were some of the things you struggled with in this essay? What

needs to be improved?

I got a 75% on this essay during my Freshman year of high school. I needed to improve my

analysis and commentary throughout my writing. I also was encouraged to take out unnecessary

sentences and write specifically according to my topic and thesis statements.

Emma Stavola

Mrs. McKiddy

ELA 9

21 September 2018

Marigolds Site Formative Assessment

The short story “Marigolds” is about a fourteen year old girl named Lizabeth who is

learning more about the world around her and starting to think and act more like an adult.

Lizabeth has many troubling factors in her life including poverty, family problems, and

confusion about herself, and as the story progresses, she starts to realize and understand these

issues. The writer, Eugenia Collier, explores themes of losing innocence and learning to live with

poverty in the Great Depression era. Collier describes a challenging time in Lizabeth’s life and

how she got through it. To convey Lizabeth’s loss of innocence, the writer highlights how

marigolds symbolize innocence and how throughout the story, there is a loss of them both.

Eugenia Collier uses symbolism to describe how Lizabeth was unaware and innocent in

the beginning of the story, yet lost this part of her as the story goes on. In the beginning of the

short story Collier explains, “The idea caught on at once, for annoying Miss Lottie was always
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fun. I was still child enough to scamper along with the group over rickety fences and through

bushes that tore our already raggedy clothes, back to where Miss Lottie lived.” (Collier 16). This

quote proves Lizabeth is very innocent and immature in the beginning of this story. She enjoyed

being young and immature with her friends. As the story continues, the audience realizes

Lizabeth is transitioning into more of a mature adult. For example the author also states,

“Suddenly I was ashamed, and I did not like being ashamed. The child in me sulked and said it

was all in the fun, but the woman in me flinched at the thought of the malicious attack I had led.”

(Collier 35). By describing Lizabeths feelings, the author allows the readers to realize Lizabeth

is growing up and is not enjoying being childish. Collier is using the marigold flowers to

symbolize Lizabeths innocence because after an attack on the marigolds Lizabeth’s innocence

begins to shrink as well. Lizabeth is becoming less naive and pure and is becoming more aware

of her surroundings. After throwing rocks at the marigolds and chanting in a rebellious act,

Lizabeth doesn’t feel the same as the other children around her who enjoyed it. Lizabeth is

unaware and is lacking experience during the start of the short story but begins to grow out of

this stage while the marigolds die off.

The symbiotic relationship between Miss Lottie's marigolds and Lizabeths loss of

innocence continues to grow stronger throughout the story. Toward the end of the short story the

author explains, “For as I gazed at the immobile face with the sad, weary eyes, I gazed upon a

type of reality which is hidden to childhood.” (Collier 63). Collier includes this piece of

description to convey the point that after the marigolds were fully destroyed, so was Lizabeth’s

innocence. This symbolic relationship helps readers understand how Lizabeth matures

throughout the story. When Lizabeth states that a new type of reality is gazed upon it proves to

readers that by the end of the story she started becoming aware of others around her and more
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understanding of the world she lives in. She experiences more and begins growing mentally and

physically while dealing with poverty, family problems, and confusion about her own role in life.

Another example explaining how Lizabeth matured is, “I had indeed lost my mind, for all the

smoldering emotions of that summer swelled in me and burst-the great need for my mother who

was never there, the hopelessness of our poverty and degradation, the bewilderment of being

neither child nor woman, and yet both at once, the fear unleashed by my father’s tears.” (Collier

58). Toward the end of the story Lizabeth goes through a change and not only begins to realize

the things going on around her but also begins losing the easiness of being young. As the

marigold flowers begin to become damaged with rocks thrown at them or being attacked,

Lizabeth starts having problems thrown in her life. As more troubles start flying into Lizabeth’s

life it destroys a part of her; her innocence. While transforming into adulthood things become

more clear and challenges get in the way of her childhood fun. By the end of the story the

marigolds and pureness of Lizabeth leave, and Lizabeths adulthood comes into view. To focus on

the fact that Lizabeth lives on experienced with maturity, the author includes the fact that the

marigolds also live on and are planted by Lizabeth later on in her life. In conclusion, Collier

wants readers to know how Lizabeth lost her innocence and by doing that, she uses symbolism.

Revised Essay

Type your revised essay in this section. Make sure to highlight in yellow the changes you made

from the original. These should be significant, meaningful changes, not just changes to grammar,

punctuation, etc.
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In the short story "Marigolds," Eugenia Collier introduces Lizabeth, a fourteen year old

girl, who is maturing and continuing to learn about the world around her as she faces living in

poverty during the Great Depression. Collier presents themes of coming of age and innocents'

relation to compassion. Literary devices such as foreshadowing and symbolism are utilized by

Collier to exemplify Lizabeth’s loss of innocence while she faces the troubles in her life.

Collier implements foreshadowing as she highlights the significance of Lizabeths

maturity throughout the story. In the beginning of her short story, Collier explains, “The idea

caught on at once, for annoying Miss Lottie was always fun. I was still child enough to scamper

along with the group over rickety fences and through bushes that tore our already raggedy

clothes, back to where Miss Lottie lived” (Collier 16). Within this, Collier suggests that soon she

will not be child enough, and foreshadows the change which Lizabeth will encounter later in the

story. Collier brings the audience's attention to the immaturity and youth of Lizabeth, as she did

not feel much remorse for the way she acted towards Miss Lottie, nor express compassion.

Additionally, Collier continues stating, “Perhaps we had some dim notion of what we were, and

how little chance we had of being anything else. Otherwise, why would we have been so

preoccupied with destruction?” (20). Highlighting the children's obsession with destruction and

disturbing Miss Lottie, Collier makes sure to use her words in the past tense. In doing this, Miss

Lottie continues to foreshadow the incident that will mark the climax of her short story. Before

Lizabeth’s loss of innocence and maturity throughout the story, Collier uses foreshadowing to her

advantage.

Collier presents symbolism through the relationship between Lizabeth and the marigolds,

as she matures with the story. Lizabeth becomes overwhelmed with the changes in her life as she

is maturing and realizing the harshness of reality and states “Suddenly I was ashamed, and I did
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not like being ashamed. The child in me sulked and said it was all in fun, but the woman in me

flinched at the thought of the malicious attack I had led” (Collier 35). In destroying the

marigolds of Miss Lottie’s garden, Lizabeths innocence and immaturity is also destroyed. Collier

purposely uses the structure of her writing for the audience to identify and better understand

Lizabeths coming of age. Collier continues, describing Lizabeth’s reaction to Miss Lottie’s

response to her attack on the marigolds and states, “For as I gazed at the immobile face with the

sad, weary eyes, I gazed upon a type of reality which is hidden to childhood” (Collier 63). It

becomes visible to Lizabeth that the marigolds were Miss Lotties source of hope, and that both

were encountering the same burdens. Learning compassion after feeling such remorse evokes a

direction change as Lizabeth transforms from child, to one who is capable of empathy. The

marigolds symbolize Lizabeth’s innocence, as Collier illustrates that the absence of the

marigolds creates an absence of Lizabeths childlike mindset.

As more awareness overcomes Lizabeth, the more change comes, leading to the lack of

marigolds, and a part of her; her innocence. While transforming into adulthood things become

more clear and challenges get in the way of her childhood fun. By the end of the story the

marigolds and innocence of Lizabeth leave, and Lizabeths open mind is welcomed. Collier

purposely writes to exemplify Lizabeths’ lost innocence and in doing that, she utilizes

symbolism and foreshadowing.

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Reflection

1st Paragraph: Write a paragraph explaining specifically what you revised in your essay and

why. Go into thoughtful details! How did these choices improve your essay? What skills do you

now have that you were able to use to help enhance your essay?

I noticed lots of repetition throughout my original essay, as well as a lack of real structure. There

was nothing to distinguish between the body paragraphs. Because of this, I changed the first

body paragraph to examine Collier's use of foreshadowing, and the second paragraph to examine

Collier's use of symbolism. Additionally, I took out and added some sentences because they did

not truly apply to the topic sentence, or the thesis statement. There were many grammatical

errors and those were revised as well. These choices improved my essay by making it easier to

understand, and created a better flow between each section of my essay. I am able to analyze

texts better now, and organize my writing better. At the time of writing my original essay, I had

lots of ideas that I did not know how to put together in an easily read and understood essay,

however, I have learned how to create more structure over the years, and how to express my

points in the most effective way.

2nd Paragraph: Write a paragraph explaining how you’ve improved as a writer since your

freshman year: What did you struggle with before? What are you proud that you can do now?

Since my freshman year, I have grown in my writing skills in various ways. I use a variety of

sentence structures, know how to keep my information relevant and organized, and am able to

withhold an easy flow for the audience's understanding. Before, my writing consisted of lots of
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repetition in all aspects. I struggled to put my ideas into a well put together essay, and tried to

make myself seem “smart” by using complex vocabulary, however, I did not use these words

correctly. I am proud of my ability to analyze rather than summarize, and provide variety in my

way of writing.