Vest 1

Trent Vest

Mrs. Scharf

ERWC Period 4

[Day you turn it in or due date] January 2022

Scholarship Essay

In the short story, Fate or Foolishness the author sets the tone of hostility from

the very start which lures the reader’s attention and keeps them wondering what future

events will take place.

The author sets an alarming tone in the writing very early into the story which

raises some confusion. He starts the story off by saying “every human unit was

warned”(1) which makes the reader wonder what they are being warned about and also

raises suspicion because people aren’t typically referred to as “human units”. This is

used as a foreshadowing tool because there isn’t any context explaining why this is

happening until later in the reading. He furthermore builds tension by saying, “A

massive singularity destroyed half the planet”(1). This is yet another example of how the

author accurately incorporates mystery into the story creating a thought of confusion

and curiosity. This leaves the reader perplexed about what exactly is happening in the

text due to the lack of information given. This is merely one example of how the author

accurately uses the tone of the story to create suspense.

The writer builds more tension through the use of imagery to give the readers a

better explanation of what is actually occurring. The author utilizes the climax to draw in

the reader by saying, “Suddenly flames exploded, feeding on the oxygen in the air”(5).

He shows what the ultimate goal, problem, and solution was to this whole excerpt
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through the use of imagery and the way he incorporates the climax of the story The

author exposes the sequence of events to give the audience further insight when talking

about what caused these events to take place. This leaves the author saying “The

singularity disappeared”(6). Showing the outcome or resolution of the climax. Which

ultimately settles all of the previous suspense and tension built up earlier throughout the

text.

In closing, this is how the author accurately demonstrates and depicts the

way he/she uses the climax and mystery throughout the text to give the reader an

understanding of language and imagery.

Rubric

After completing your Scholarship Essay Assignment, highlight in yellow what you believe

you earned on your Scholarship essay on the rubric below.

6 5 4 3 2 1
W 11-12.4 A little Reflection is thoughtful and The student reflects on The student Attempt No
Produce clear and more reveals the author has his/her essay and how reflect on the to reflect evidence
coherent writing successful reflected on specific aspects he/she revised. The changes he/she
in which the than a 5 of the essay and how to student shares some of the made but the
development, revise. The writer seems specific techniques and reflection might
organization, and genuinely engaged in the changes he/she made but be more surface-
style are process of reflecting and could go into more detail. level or to just
appropriate to revising by writing about “get it over with”
task, purpose, and the changes she/he has
audience. made.

W 11-12.5 A little Develop and strengthen Develop and strengthen Develop writing Attempt No
Develop and more writing multiple times as writing as needed by by revision or to revise evidence
strengthen writing successful needed by planning, planning, revising, planning.
as needed by than a 5 revising, editing, rewriting, editing, rewriting, or
planning, or trying a trying a new approach,
revising, editing, new approach, focusing on focusing on addressing
rewriting, or addressing what is most what is most significant
trying a new significant for a for a specific purpose and
approach, specific purpose and audience.
focusing on audience.
addressing what
is most significant
for a specific
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purpose and
audience.

Original Essay

Write the essay’s prompt (recreate to the best of your ability) here:

To the best of your knowledge, what scores did you earn on this essay? If you can’t

remember the scores, what were some of the things you struggled with in this essay? What

needs to be improved?

[Put your original, unrevised essay here. It can be typed or pictures of your handwritten

work] Trent Vest

Period 3

ELA 11

4 May 2021

Great Gatsby Final Essay

In The Great Gatsby, there is a constant misconception regarding the death of Jay Gatsby

when pertaining to who might be responsible for the murder. Many would argue that Daisy is the

sole corporate since she is the one that ran over George Wilson’s wife, while others would argue

that George lacked the emotional integrity to take his finger off the trigger. Well, in this case, it

could be perceived or argued that no one is responsible, except Gatsby himself when it comes to

the events that have led up to this whole situation.

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During this novel, there are many cases showing that Gatsby can be very greedy and

especially when it comes to wanting to be with Daisy. One powerful example of this is when

Gatsby first meets Daisy’s daughter. “Afterward, he kept looking at the child with surprise. I

don’t think he had ever really believed in its existence before” (Fitzgerald 7). This is one

instance of many where Gatsby had put the facts of Daisy having a child with Tom aside because

it was living proof of Daisy and Tom’s relationship. There are more examples of similar things

happening, such as when he says, “She never loved you, do you hear?” She only married you

because I was poor, and she was tired of waiting on me” (Fitzgerald 130). These are all things

that Gatsby wants Daisy to say to Tom, but she does not actually feel this way. This delusion is a

big flaw in Gatsby’s character because it is this behavior that will soon cost him his life.

Gatsby always feels this compulsion to fill all the needs of Daisy due to their past

relations, even though she now has a new family without him in the picture. One key example of

this is when Daisy hits Myrtle Wilson while driving Gatsby’s car, and he says, “But of course,

I’ll say I was driving” (Fitzgerald 143) even though he did not do this, and the only reason he is

taking the blame is because of his obsession with Daisy. This did not matter, because George

would have found out about his wife being killed, and Gatsby would have still taken the blame,

resulting in the same outcome. One other example of this is when Nick says, “Gatsby bought that

house so Daisy would be right across the bay” (Fitzgerald 78). This is just another instance

showing Gatsby’s obsession and delusional needs when it comes to Daisy as if she does not have

a whole different life now. Gatsby has a very hard time seeing that Daisy has made decisions for

herself that she feels were the best decisions at the time, and even if she does not like them now,

she has to deal with the repercussions.

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Gatsby’s actions when trying to recreate the past result in him creating unneeded

problems for himself that raise tensions later, resulting in the cause of his death. Gatsby goes as

far as creating a fake narrative for himself when asked by Tom when he asks him if he attended

Oxford, as Gatsby says, “I told you I went there” as he tries to divert attention from the subject

(Fitzgerald 130). This leads to further suspicion about Gatsby, making Tom question if he is

really telling the truth or not, which may not seem like a huge problem. Early on, Jay Gatsby

talks about recreating the past, and quite literally when asked about doing so, says, “Of course,

you can” regarding his beliefs in it being possible (Fitzgerald 118). This is a pure sign showing

that Gatsby quite literally believes that this is possible and will win over Daisy this way. This

delusion is the fault of Gatsby’s character and is the reason he gets himself into this whole mess

when he could have moved on years ago and been with another person. These problems could

have been easily avoided and would not have led to his death.

In conclusion, Gatsby did not have to go through all of these troubles and was responsible

for his own death when it comes to the decisions he has made. Gatsby’s judgment was twisted

from the start when seeking a woman who had left him earlier in life due to his lack of money

and resources when he should have found someone who wanted to be with him for his character.
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Revised Essay

Type your revised essay in this section. Make sure to highlight in yellow the changes you made

from the original. These should be significant, meaningful changes, not just changes to grammar,

punctuation, etc.

Reflection

1st Paragraph: Write a paragraph explaining specifically what you revised in your essay and

why. Go into thoughtful details! How did these choices improve your essay? What skills do you

now have that you were able to use to help enhance your essay?

2nd Paragraph: Write a paragraph explaining how you’ve improved as a writer since your

freshman year: What did you struggle with before? What are you proud that you can do now?