Araceli Rodriguez

Professor Doutherd
English 5M
October 18, 2017
Revision Summary
Going based off on the peer review comments and revisions, there were a few
things that needed to be changed and added on the Rhetorical Analysis paper. To start off
in part 2 of the essay, the bullet point that consisted of stating how exigence, context, and
audience were perceived were missing. Therefore those details were added in with
explanation and detail. Also in part 2 there was a point where personal style was being
used and that had to be changed to detached impersonal style to make the essay sound
formal from that point and on. The requirements for this writing assignment were to
make sure to have 2 quotes and 2 paraphrases throughout parts 1 and 3. One paraphrase
was missing in draft one and now it is missing none. Last but not least the essay was
reread to make sure there were little to no grammatical errors that made the writing
difficult to understand. What was done was that a few sentence word choices were moved
around because they did not sound grammatically correct. There were a few that were
pointed out on the comments written on the draft 1 essay and were addressed. Not much
was changed in part 3 besides grammatical errors because no comments needed to be
addressed in that section. Overall with the few changes that were made the 2nd draft is
more understandable and now has all requirements included in it.

There is Always Room for Improvement

PART 1
 Do wealthy people with good morals exist? Junior year in high school I was assigned an
analytical essay based on the novel The Great Gatsby by F Scott Gerald. The process of this
writing assignment started off by students reading the book on our own with a time frame of a
couple weeks. The chapters would be analyzed and discussed in class to make sure that the text
was being well understood. The essay focuses on proving the authors claim about the main
characters to be true, and the claim is that wealthy people have low morals. Analyzing the
characters consisted of questioning and analyzing their thoughts and actions. The main
characters in which the assignment was focused on were Jay Gatsby, Daisy Buchanan, Tom
Buchanan, and Gatsby's best friend Nick. In order to get an even better understanding and visual
of the novel The Great Gatsby, both the old and new version of the movies were seen. Doing so
allowed for me to gather up all the information that was needed to complete the essay and focus
on using the correct writing format, style, and vocabulary.
Eventually behind any given assignment there is a purpose or lesson that has to be
understood. My english teachers purpose with this essay was to help students learn how to
analyze texts, analyze personal characteristics of the main characters in the reading, and back up
the claim with textual evidence. In the reading Rhetorical Situations and Their Constituents by
Keith Grant Davie, he sees exigence as asking what the discourse is about, why it is needed, and
what should its goal be (351). Learning the skills of analyzing a text is beneficial because the
students are able to fully understand the novel, ask questions, prove a point right or wrong, and
help out someone else in understanding the novel. For example, in my essay I pointed out the
authors claim that wealthy people have low morals and backed it up with a description of each of
the characters characteristics. The fact that I read, analyzed the novel, and watched the movie
made it easier for me to portray my thoughts into writing because I had knowledge on it.
When it comes to writing many people face different type of constraints which are
limitations.For instance, the major rule for this essay was that it had to be written in MLA format
with concrete detail and textual evidence. I was only allowed to discuss the social position and
level of morality for each of the characters from the novel. With that being said, the essay had to
be four pages long which made it difficult at the time to not go off topic. However, that did not
happen but the essay did turnout to sound repetitive. During the writing process of the essay I
tried keeping in mind that what if someone who has never read the Great Gatsby were to read my
essay? This is the process of the writer having their audience in mind when writing just as Keith
Grant Davie states in Rhetorical Situations and Their Constituents(355). This allowed me to
get straight to the point and try not to confuse any reader. Even though my english teacher was
my only audience , that thought helped me get through the writing.I wanted my english teacher
to see that I fully understood the authors claim in The Great Gatsby by properly analyzing each
of the characters and I accomplished just that.
What I learned by this assignment was how to construct an essay in MLA format by
analyzing a reading. Doing this writing also made me reflect on my own life and think about if I
knew anyone that proved F Scotts Gerald claim wrong and challenge it. I thought of influential
artist that exist in todays society and that proves that not all wealthy people have low morals. In
the reading, Gatsby did not necessarily have bad morals because all he cared about was his love
for Daisy which made him forget about everyone and everything else. For future writing
assignments I now know the process and what it takes to complete an analytical essay, which is
to read, ask questions, and do what is needed to make sure the readings are fully understood.
PART 2
 In Sacramento State University, the communications major falls under the Writing and
Researching in the Arts of Humanity Field. With the major chosen, there are various career paths
that one can take because at the end of the day any job requires good communication skills. In
the Arts and Humanity field the majority of the writing that one will come across is dealing with
analyzing readings, using personal experiences, theories, and readings to back up an argument.
The field wants their writers to get out of their comfort zones, explore different writing styles,
and explore thinking differently when it comes to writing. This leads to using your personal style
frequently and this is key for writers in the humanities field. Other fields require the use of
statistics, research, and data, however none of those are requirements for Arts and Humanities
scholars.Based on the reading the exigence for scholars in the humanities field is to question the
values of human experiences by using research, reading, and writing. All teachers have different
writing expectations but in the humanities field but what connects everyone is that they expect
students to use a personal style, challenge ideas, explore new ways of writing, and back up their
arguments with textual evidence. In the reading the context is perceived as the understanding of
reading that are assigned, research done, and observations. The audience for Writing and
Researching in the Arts of Humanity Field consist of scholars in majors such as English,
Communications Studies, Art, Design, Foreign Language, Theatre, Music, Religious Studies,
History, or Philosophy.

PART 3
In high school, when a writing assignment is turned in it tends to look perfect until it is
actually reread months or years later. Looking back at the essay that was chosen in part 1, it
would not be a good idea to turn it in to an instructor in the Arts and Humanity field. In the
article, Writing and Reading without Authority by Anna M Penrose and Cheryl Geisler, Janet
and Rogers style of analyzing claims are different. For him, reading was a process of
identifying, sorting, and evaluating the claims made by the authorsJanets goal, however, was
not to evaluate claims but to search for facts(509-510). Looking back at the essay from part 1,
the claim was not thoroughly evaluated. The essays requirement was to show textual evidence
based on the claim and that is all that was done, instead of further analyzing the claim. Another
reason why it would not be a great idea to turn in the essay is because its missing more of the
personal style and flow. Incorporating a personal experience in the paper which proved the
author wrong would have made the essay argumentative and more interesting. Last but not least
there are excessive grammatical errors that can be fixed.
Writing over the years makes you realize how much improvement you have made.
Principles that must be kept in mind for future writing assignments is to keep the intended
purpose and audience in mind. Doing so will allow for the reader to fully understand what is
trying to be said and understand the overall goal. In Rhetorical Situations and Their Constituents
by Keith Grant Davie, Davie states, I include objectives as part of the exigence for a discourse
because resolving the exigence provides powerful motivation for the rhetor(353). Keeping the
purpose and goal clear will be beneficial to others. Getting comfortable with asking questions
and challenging the claims of the authors is another principle that needs to be practiced. This
will lead to the learning on how to better analyze readings. Even though the chosen essay was
not good enough to turn in, at least the principles are in mind to better improve for future writing
assignments.