LEC 1 : WHO AM I?
No, I
- The course title, “Understanding the Self”: Is it
understanding myself, the other self / self of other
people or the self alone?
- Since we are not certain about this question as to
whether it actually directs to me, to the first, second or
third person, then let’s start it with our first person.
- Do I understand myself?
- If you don’t understand yourself, maybe the very first
step is for you to know yourself. Because you cannot
understand yourself if you don’t even know yourself.
- At our young age, maybe understanding ourself would
still not be too interesting for us. We are at the age
where we would like others to understand us more than
we understand ourself.
- When we are asked, “do you know that person?” Do
you feel obliged to know? No, we are not.
- We don’t care about knowing other people. Knowing
other people is actually not a priority for us, but about
knowing ourselves.
- Subconsciously, it may not be also a priority but you
would realize that in almost every minute in your life,
you want to know yourself. Even up to the point of
trying to understand yourself.
- We sometimes have identity-crisis because you don’t
understand why you are feeling that way and you won’t
like other people to know who you are.
- Or maybe you don’t like to admit your weaknesses or
limitations, which are always part of you. We would only
like to know ourself by our strengths. And we would
only like other people to know us by the good things
about us.
- And if you don’t want to open your consciousness to
your weaknesses and limitations, that is an indication
that you do not know yourself.
- If you don’t know yourself, you can never understand
yourself, and the consequence for this would-be
identity-crisis and subconsciously you can’t realize that
you are an annoyance to others and not easily
accepted by others.
 Whenever we want to know who we really are, the only
question that should be asked is, “Who Am I?”
- Grammatically it is correct. Who refers to a
person. Am refers to myself. I refers to me and
nobody else.
- But the problem with this question is that we are
diverted to other questions which we think would
answer this question.
WHAT AM I?
 Who vs. what: Who refers to a person. What refers to a
thing.
 “What Am I?” This means that I am referring to myself
not anymore as a person but a thing.
How do I qualify to be what am I? What are those things
that I would like other people to know about me?
1. Sex or Gender
- “I am a male / female / homosexual / lesbian”
- “I am a man” or “I am a woman”
- “I am a human being”
2. Title
 “I’m a doctor; an engineer; a lawyer; etc.”
- Is being a doctor / engineer / lawyer / man / woman
you?
- I am a man yes. But is my being a man me?
could’ve been a woman.
- If I were a woman, is my being a woman me? No,
because I could’ve been a man or I could still be a
what.
- Is my being human me? No, still because I could’ve
been an animal.
 Therefore, sex and gender does not actually make
me who I am.
- Charice Pempengco  Jake Cyrus
- Do you think she/he has actually made a person out
of herself/himself now? Do you think he is known
there for what he is now? No.
- How does her mother /friends know her? Still as
who she is.
- But how does she look at herself? By what she is.
She didn’t like to be a woman. She liked to be a
man.
 Being a man or woman is not actually who we are.
It’s not the gender of yourself. Yourself has no
gender.
 When you say who, it has no gender, it could be a
man / woman.
 Who has no title.
 Therefore, the question what am I is a wrong
redirection.
- Because I cannot be who I am by my sex or
gender.
- Because what if I am not a man / a woman / a
human being. If I were a God then you would have
expected a lot from me. What if I could not give
you what you want? Then you would say’ “Oh
you’re not a God.” What if I were not a doctor/
engineer/ lawyer?
WHAT IF YOU WERE NOT? AM I NOT ME? THEN WHO
AM I?
- What if I were not a man / woman / human being /
doctor / I don’t have any title? What if I was just a
pedicab driver / just a utility man in RTRMF, would you
look at me as who I am? No.
- Therefore, this is a wrong redirection.
WHAT HAVE I?
 Most of us would like to know who we are / would like
to be known by other people for what we have.
1. Possessions
- “I have a beautiful car, a beautiful house”
- “I have plenty of money”
2. Titles
- “I have a career”
- “I have high position in the government”
WHAT IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE? AM I NOT ME? THEN WHO
AM I?
- What if I don’t have what you have? How would I
look at myself?
- Therefore, this is a wrong redirection again.
WHO HAVE I?
1. Connections
- “I’m related to Pres. Duterte”
 - “Urupod ko ito hi governor”
- “Sangkay ko ito hi mayor”
 Sometimes, we are proud to be connected with
somebody with a name. And everybody looks up to you
when they know that you are connected with
somebody.
 But, are they who you are?
WHAT IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYONE? AM I NOT ME?
THEN WHO AM I?
- What if your father was not “Dr. Gualdrapa”?
- What if you are not friend of the mayor / governor?
- What if you didn’t know anyone to build up your
name? To build up who do you think you are?
That would be a big disgrace because you cannot be
who you are.
 Who you are does not matter for what you are, for
what you have, nor does it matter for who you have.
WHO AM I?
“I am an individual person, created by God for a purpose,
which cannot be achieved without others.”
I am an individual person. If I had a twin, I am not my twin.
Even if I were cloned, I am not my clone. Even if my son /
my grandson looks like me, I am not my son / my grandson. I
am me.
Even if there is another Thomas Lyndon Blanco on this Eart.
I am different from that person. I am an individual person. I
am unique. I can never be compared to anyone. Because I
have my own strengths and limitations.
And I believe that I was created by God for a purpose (be a
teacher and a father). And I believe that I cannot achieve
this purpose without others.
That is important to me. Because what about being me /
being Thomas Lyndon Blanco? My self is not about my
name. I could have been Mario / any other name. But the
most important is that I cannot achieve this purpose / I
cannot be who I am for a purpose without others. Therefore,
I should also be careful about knowing others.
How should I know others? I should know others in the
same way as I know myself. How do I know myself? I know
myself as who I am. If I know myself as who I am, I should
know others as who they are, not as what they are, not
as what they have, and not as who they have.
Because I know myself as who I am, not what I am, not what
I have and not who I have.
LEC 2
INTRODUCTION: MY EDUCATIONAL HOME
 Why do we need to discuss our school? Because our
school is our 2nd home.
 Being enrolled in RTR, it becomes a part of ourselves.
 Whenever somebody sees you wearing an RTR
uniform, they would say “Oh Taga RTR it hiya.” It
becomes part of our identity. Therefore, it would be
very significant for us to know our 2 nd home /
educational home.
Vision and Mission of My School
 The vision and mission of RTRMF is not just the vision
and mission of the administrators. It is also our mission
and vision.
 Every sector in our institution has its own role.
 Teachers have their own role. They have their
obligations, but at the same time, they are expected to
not just stick to their obligations.
 Students also have obligations, and the voluntary
things that you may want to contribute to the other
sectors of the institution for the achievement of its
vision and fulfillment of its mission.
LEC 1: RECAP
 In our effort to answer the question who am I, often
times we are redirected to three other questions like
what am I, what have I, who have I.
 There is something that we fail to mention. Usually,
when somebody asks us who we are, we give our
name. Why? Because our name is our identity, it’s our
brand. But is that who we are? No. That’s not actually
everything about who we are. You can just change your
name anytime.
 What is the self? It is our who? Our I? or Am? Is
understanding the self, knowing the self?
UNDERSTANDING THE SELF
INTRODUCTION TO THE SELF
 Imagine yourself being in the midst of a huge concert
where you could not hear anything but noise and loud
music then all of a sudden you hear someone calling
your name. What will do?
 “cocktail party effect”—the tendency of people to pick
a personally relevant stimulus, like a name, out of a
complex and noisy environment.
 To the cognitive psychologist, this phenomenon
shows that human beings are selective in their
attention.
And we put ourselves as priority in that selection. You
would always like to be mentioned. We would always
like to hear our names. For instances, those running for
politics, they tend to memorize names of the people in
a specific town. As a reaction, those people that were
recognized feel good about that candidate because
“maupay man ini na tawo kay nakilala ha akon”.
 To the social psychologist, it also shows that the self
is an important object of our own attention. 
That is why we are always self-defensive, we always
like to be praised, we would always like to get the
attention of other so that others will mention us. But not
everyone. If you are an introvert, you would rather
choose not to be known or mentioned because you feel
shy. But if you are an extrovert, it’s always important
that other people know you and that you are
recognized by everyone.
 The self is first and foremost the collection of beliefs
that we hold about ourselves.
 This is what I believe in me. What I believe I could do.
This is how I know myself. This is what I believe other
people know about me.
 What are our important characteristics? What are we
good at? What do we do poorly? What kind of
situations do we prefer or avoid?
These are the most common questions we ask
ourselves. Because we always desire for recognition,
or at least we make sure that we are able to survive.
We make sure that we are able to get along with others
in a certain group/society. Or at least we are able to run
away from threats or unnecessary things in life.
UNDERSTANDING THE SELF
 Self-Understanding is the awareness of and ability to
understand one’s own thoughts and actions.
It starts there. If you are able to understand your own
thoughts and own actions, why you think or act such
way, then that is already a ladder towards self-
understanding, because that will be what you call self-
awareness.
 To attain the insight into your attitudes, motives,
defenses, reactions, weaknesses and strengths.
If you are able to observe your own attitude, your own
intentions, why you want this thing, you are able to
rationalize your motives, you are able to explain why
you want to vote for BBM or Leni, etc.
 It is a subjective sense of the self & a complex mixture
of unconscious & conscious thoughts, attitudes &
perceptions.
DEFINITION OF UNDERSTANDING THE SELF
 Understanding self represents the sum total of people’s
conscious perception of their identity as distinct from
others.
Do you know yourself being different from others? Or
do you always see others in yourself? If you always see
others in yourself, that is an indication that you don’t
have an understanding of yourself yet.
 It is not a static phenomenon but continues to develop
& change throughout our lives. (George Herbert Head)
We develop by age. We might think that we are still the
same from the first time that we were able to
understand things (7 yrs old) but our understanding of
ourself continues to develop and continues to change
throughout our lives, with so many things that come in
and come out of you. Especially those things that you
gain- knowledge, experiences, skills that are being
developed.
 The understanding self is thinking about what is
involved in being. It is also thinking about what
distinguishes you from being an object, an animal or
different person. (Richard Stevens)
If you understand yourself, then you are aware of all
the things that are involved in your own existence. You
are aware of everything that is connected with you /
involved in your life / existence / being.
If you don’t know the distinction between you as a
person and as an object, between animal vs human
being, human being vs human being, then it means that
you don’t understand yourself yet.
IMPORTANCE OF UNDERSTANDING THE SELF
 Self-understanding has been seen as a factor in the
development of an individual’s competence to function
more efficiently in the organizations where he belongs.
 It stabilizes an individual’s ability to make key decisions
for himself and others.
Why are campaigns important during elections?
Because we want to know if the people that we are
going to choose understand themselves. That is why
we look at the backgrounds, personalities, track record.
Do they understand themselves? Do they know what
they are going to be doing? Imagine they are going to
make important decisions for the country.
If a person does not understand himself, he won’t be a
good leader. If he doesn’t understand why he have
tantrums and if he enjoys his tantrums and he laughs at
his tantrums, then he still doesn’t understand himself.
 Self-understanding equips an individual with the ability
to make more effective career & life choice; and the
ability to lead, guide & inspire others authentically.
SELF-CONCEPT
The most important thing is how we see ourself.
 Self-concept is the set of beliefs that we hold about
who we are.
I am wonder woman, I can do whatever I want. Makarit
ako. Amo ini it akon forte, the best things that I can do.
 It can also be defined as the sum total of an individual’s
beliefs about his or her own personal attributes.
 It is basically the individual’s image of the kind of
person he or she is. Especially included in this are the
awareness of being (What I am) and awareness of
function (What I can do).
I am a student. I have a flexible body so what I can do
is I can dance well.
 Self-concept includes not only our perceptions of what
we are but also what we think, we ought to be and
would like to be. This latter component of the self is
called the ideal self. The ideal self represents the self-
concept that an individual would ideally want to
possess.
Ideal self is what we would like to be. Example, you
want to become a doctor. Seeing yourself not just like
one but being one, treating people, having a
professional life is an ideal self.
TWO KINDS OF SELF-PERCEPTION
 POSITIVE SELF CONCEPT: People with positive self-
concept believe in themselves, are confident about their
ability to deal with problems, make decisions, feel equal
to others, have respect for themselves and expect it
from others. These are people who are realistic in their
assessment of themselves and can admit to a wide
range of feelings, behaviors and needs.
Optimistic self-perception. You always look at yourself
in the positive way.
 NEGATIVE SELF CONCEPT: If people see
themselves as failures and have a negative, pessimistic
image of themselves, they will begin to act the part.
Negative feelings feed on themselves and become a
downward spiral, gradually encompassing all of the
people’s thoughts, actions and relationships. People
with negative self-concepts tend to complain constantly
and find it difficult to accept criticism (ex. PRRD).
They would always think that they cannot do it, are
inferior than others. They always have that self-
reservation just in case some problems pop up and
decide to not continue because he knows that he
cannot do it.
THREE ASPECTS OF THE SELF
 Like other belief system, the self-concept includes
1. cognitive aspect
2. affective aspect
3. behavioral aspect
COGNITIVE ASPECT: SELF SCHEMA
Self-schemas are “cognitive generalizations about the self,
derived from past experience, that organize and guide the
processing of self-related information”
What I know about myself in a general sense.
Past experience is very important in this aspect because we
learn from past experiences. By our past experiences, we
know what we can and cannot do. From past experiences, if
we know that if we failed it’s probably only because we
lacked some effort and we know that we can still do it.
AFFECTIVE/EVALUATIVE ASPECT: SELF ESTEEM
 “self-esteem reflects the perceived difference between
an individual’s actual self-concept (who I think I really
am) and some ideal self-image (who I would really like
to be).”
You are an introvert but you have ambitions. You would
like to be a lawyer. “How can I be a lawyer if I can’t
even speak in public?” That conflict reflects your self-
esteem, and it must be developed.
If you are an introvert and you want to become a
lawyer, your ideal self-image should boost and
probably change your attitude. This is developing your
self-esteem by using your ideal self-image.
 William James (1890) expressed the relationship this
way.
 Self-esteem= success/pretension.
With your present attitude of being shy, how would you
boost your self-esteem? By pretending that if you
become a lawyer you’ll become a very good debater
and by doing a lot to succeed.
 Pretension (ideals against which individuals assess
their actual self-image)
BEHAVIORAL ASPECT: SELF PERCEPTION
 Darl Bem’s (1972) “influential self-perception theory”
reflects how we observe our behavior and the situation
in which it took place, make attributions about why the
behavior occurred, and draw conclusions about our
own characteristic and disposition.
 In other words, we come to understand ourselves the
same way we perceive and understand others.
COMPONENTS OF THE SELF
1. Self-Identity
 A sense of personal identity is what sets one person
apart as a unique individual.
 Identity includes a person’s name, gender, ethnic
identity, family status, occupation, and roles.
 One’s personal identity begins to develop during
childhood and is constantly reinforced and modified
throughout life.
2. Body Image
 Body image is an attitude about one’s physical
attributes and characteristics, appearance and
performance.
 Body Image is dynamic because any change in body
structure or function, including the normal changes of
growth and development can affect it.
When you are thin and then you get fat, things would
change.
3. Self-esteem
 Is the judgment of personal performance compared
with self-ideal.
 Self-esteem is derived from a sense of giving and
receiving love and being respected by others.
We have our own weaknesses and the problem with
people who are introvert or shy are those who are not
able to help themselves to be accepted by others.
Unlike extroverts who can command respect and so
they could hide their weaknesses. If you are an
introvert, you easily expose your weaknesses. That is
where good parents and friends come in. Without
them, you will be bullied.
4. Role Performance
 “Role” refers to a set of expected behaviors
determined by familial, cultural, and social norms.
Stereotypes.
 The level of self-esteem is dependent upon the self-
perception of adequate role performance in these
various roles.
 But sometimes we are not allowed to perform
especially by those who may not understand
themselves either so they try to shun us, prevent us
from coming up with an adequate role performance
on our various roles in life.
FACTORS AFFECTING SELF CONCEPT
1. Factors affecting the life span (disease, lifestyle)
2. Psychological factors
3. Physiological factors
4. Cultural factors
BUILDING UP SELF CONCEPT
 Building up self-concept is primary factor of effective
personality and behavior.  
 The four steps to build-up self-concept are:
1. Self awareness
2. Self acceptance (accept esp. our weaknesses)
3. Self realization (realization that this is our
weakness, strengths)
4. Self disclosure (not keeping yourself only to
yourself)
SELF AWARENESS
 Our attention is sometimes directed outward towards
the environment and sometimes it is focused inward on
ourselves.
Focused inward: difficult to develop self-awareness
 Certain experiences in the world automatically focus
attention inwards, such as catching sight of ourselves in
the mirror, having our picture taken, or, more subtly,
being evaluated by others.
 We begin to think of ourselves not as moving actors in
the environment but as objects of our own and others’
attention. Experiencing oneself as an object of our own
and others’ attention is called self-awareness.
 It leads people to evaluate their behavior against a
standard (standards for physical appearance,
intellectual performance, athletic prowess, or moral
integrity) and to set an adjustment process in motion for
meeting the standard.
SELF ACCEPTANCE
 Having being aware of who we really are, rather than
the person we would wish to be, the next step on our
journey to self-concept is to accept ourselves.
Before we get to our ideal self, we should have self-
acceptance especially who you are.
 According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance is an
individual's satisfaction or happiness with oneself, and
is thought to be necessary for good mental health.
People who don’t get to accept themselves usually
commit suicide, become a bully, have different
personality.
 Self-acceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic,
though subjective, awareness of one's strengths and
weaknesses. It results in an individual's feeling about
oneself, that they are of "unique worth".
If you are not able accept especially your faults, it is
very difficult for you to develop because that is an
indication that you can’t understand yourself.
SELF REALIZATION
 The term self-realization means the fulfilment of one's
own potential.
 It is realizing our inner potentialities.
 This step on self-concept route involves growth and
development motivated from within.
You don’t need to wait for the observations or
comments of other people especially your family and
friends for you to realize. Self-realization is your own
discovery and acceptance of your own potentials.
 It is a willingness to pursue our ideal-self on our own, to
grow and to change because we think it is important.
In your self-realization, you are now being motivated to
pursue your ideal self in your own way.
SELF DISCLOSURE
Self-disclosure is the process of letting another person
know what we think, feel and want, that is telling others
about ourselves.
Telling others about ourselves.
It is important to disclose yourself.
 It includes all kinds of information: life experiences,
personal circumstances, feelings, dreams, opinions and
so on.
 It involves disclosing our innermost thoughts and
feelings.
 The final stage towards a mature self-concept is how
we are going to reveal our ‘self’, and this is where self-
awareness plays an important role. We need to know
ourselves well before we can disclose or reveal
anything to others about our ‘real self’.
Because you’ll be telling obvious lies.
 Research indicates that self-disclosure leads to self-
contentment, helps a person to be more perceptive,
adaptive, competent, trusting and positive towards
others.
OTHER CONCEPTS
SELF CONFIDENCE
 A feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and
judgement is self-confidence.
Feeling of being able to do.
 The belief that you can achieve success and
competence. In other words – believing yourself to be
capable.
Can you do it? I can do it. You should have a positive
self-concept. Pessimistic people don’t have self-
confidence. They always think that they can’t never
make it.
 Self-confidence might be in reference to specific tasks
or a more wide-ranging attitude you hold about your
abilities in life.
 Both self-confidence and self-esteem relate to your
perception of yourself, the former relates to your
perception of your abilities and the latter relates to your
perception of your worth or value.
 Both concepts are closely related and those with low
self-confidence will often have low self-esteem and
vice versa
If I don’t have self-confidence then I can’t boost my
self-esteem. I should think positively, therefore. I should
 think that I can do it. But first, do I realize myself? Do I
have self-acceptance? Do I have self-realization?

SELF IMAGE

 Self-image is how you perceive yourself.

 It is a number of self-impressions that have built up
over time: What are your hopes and dreams? What do
you think and feel? What have you done throughout
your life and what did you want to do?
 These self-images can be very positive, giving a person
self confidence in their thoughts and actions, or
negative, making a person doubtful of their capabilities
and ideas.
 Surprisingly, your self-image can be very different from
how the world sees you. Some people who outwardly
seem to have it all (intelligence, looks, personal and
financial success) may have a bad self-image.
Conversely, others who have had a very difficult life
and multiple hardships may also have a very positive
self- image.
“They say that I am boastful, but I am not boastful.”
That is why we also need peer evaluation to be certain
whether our self-image is conclusive. We need
confirmations.