CHAPTER III

MANAGING AND CARING FOR THE SELF

Lesson 1 : Learning To Be a Better Learner

INTRODUCTION

Knowing the self is not enough. Since, “who you are” is partly made up of your choices,
you must also have the ability to choose especially to be a better “you”. In the school setting,
your knowledge of yourself should at least enable you to become a better student.

The lesson will present several techniques that you can adapt depending on your
situation and preferences to make you a better learner. Learning should not just mean studying
for your quizzes and exams in school. Learning could also occur outside the confines of a book
or classroom, like when you want to acquire a new move in your favorite sport, or the skills for a
certain hobby. Furthermore, the techniques here are not the only techniques available and
months or years from now, new ways on how to study better will be discovered or rediscovered.
What is important at this moment is that you learn how to learn things.

ABSTRACTION

We are Homo sapiens or the “wise man”. We think on a more complex level than our
ancestors and most, if not all of the other beings. But being called wise, not only do we think,
but we are also capable to think about thinking, like how we think of things and why we think in
a certain way about things. It is like your brain thinks about itself, then thinks about how it thinks
about itself.
This idea falls under the concept of metacognition, which is commonly defined as
“thinking about thinking”. It is the awareness of the scope and limitations of your current
knowledge and skills. Due to this awareness, metacognition enables the person to adapt their
existing knowledge and skills to approach a learning task, seeking for the optimum result of the
learning experience.

Metacognition has two aspects:

1. Self-appraisal - is your personal reflection on your knowledge and capabilities.

2. Self-management - is the mental process you employ using what you have in
planning and adapting to successfully learn or accomplish a certain task.

Similar concepts, usually called elements of metacognition: 

 
1. Metacognitive knowledge - what you know about how you think.
2. Metacognition regulation - how you adjust your thinking processes to help you
          learn better.
Under metacognitive knowledge, there are several variables that affect how you
know or assess yourself as a thinker.
 1. Personal variable - your evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses in learning.
2. Task variable - what you know or what you think about the nature of the task, as well as
  what strategies the task requires.
3. Strategy variable - refers to what strategies or skills you already have in dealing with
 certain tasks.

Skills that can help you in exercising metacognition:

1. Knowing your limits - one cannot really make any significance advancement in using
metacognitive skills without having an honest and accurate evaluation of what you know
and what you do not know. Knowing also looks at the scopes and limitations of your
resources so that you can work with what you have at the moment and look for ways to
cope with other necessities.
2. Modifying your approach - it begins with the recognition that your strategy is not
appropriate with the task or that you do not comprehend the learning experience
successfully.
3. Skimming - this is basically browsing over a material and keeping an eye on keywords,
phrases or sentences. It is also about knowing where to search for such key terms.
4. Rehearsing - this is not just about repeatedly talking, writing or doing what you have
learned, but also trying to make a personal interpretation or summary of the learning
experience.
5. Self-test - as the name implies, this is trying to test your comprehension of your learning
experience or the skills you have acquired during learning.

Other strategies that you need to develop include asking questions about your methods,
self-reflection, finding a mentor or support group if necessary, thinking out loud and welcoming
errors as learning experiences.

Using these strategies, you can at least identify four types of metacognitive learners.

1. tacit - learners are unaware of their metacognitive processes although they know the
 extent of their knowledge.

2. aware - learners know some of their metacognitive strategies but they do not plan on
 how to use these techniques.

3. strategic- learners, as the name implies, strategize and plan their course of action
 toward a learning experience. 

4. reflective - learners reflect on their thinking while they are using the strategies and
 adapt metacognitive skills depending on their situation.
Lesson 2: Do not Just Dream, Make It Happen

ABSTRACTION
Albert E. Bandura’s Self-efficacy

Biography: 

The concept of self-efficacy was introduced by Albert Bandura in an article entitled

“Self-efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change” published in Psychological
Review. The article also became an instant classic in psychology.

Albert E. Bandura was born in Mundare, Alberta on December 4, 1925. He was the
youngest of six children. He grew up with parents who put great emphasis on the value of
family, life and education.

Bandura took a summer job in Alaska after high school graduation. He then took an
introductory psychology course at the University of British Columbia as a working student. In
three years time, he graduated with The Bolocan Award in Psychology in 1949.

He earned his master’s degree from the University of Lowa in 1951 and his PhD in
Clinical Psychology in 1952. He had a postdoctoral position at the Wichita Guidance Center
before accepting a position as a faculty member at Stanford University in 1953, where he still
works at present.

The Bobo Doll Experiment

In the 1950’s, Dr. Bandura had a study known as the Bobo Doll Experiment. In this
experiment, the sample children were presented with new social models of violent and
nonviolent behavior toward an inflatable redounding Bobo doll. The results were: the group of
children who saw the violent behavior model became violent to the doll, while the control group
who was presented with the nonviolent behavior model was rarely violent to the doll. This
experiment has proven right the hypothesis that social modeling is a very effective way of
learning. Dr. Bandura introduced the social learning theory that focuses on what people learn
from observing and interacting with other people. Bandura’s social cognitive theory states that
people are active participants in their environment and are not simply shaped by that
environment.

Summary of Self-efficacy Theory

Self-efficacy theory is based on the assumption that psychological procedures serve as

a means of creating and strengthening expectations of personal efficacy.

Self-efficacy theory distinguishes between expectations of efficacy and response-

outcome expectancies. According to Weibell (2011), outcome expectancy is “a person’s
estimate that a given behavior will lead to certain outcomes”. An efficacy expectation is
the conviction that one can successfully execute the behavior required to produce the
outcomes. Although a person may expect a certain activity to lead to a particular outcome, they
may lack the motivation to perform the action, doubting their ability to do so.
 Self-efficacy typically comes into play when there is an actual or perceived threat to
one’s personal safety, or one’s ability to deal with potentially aversive events. Increasing a
person’s self-efficacy increases their ability to deal with a potentially averse situation.
 

Weibell (2011) stated that Dr. Bandura defined self-efficacy as “people’s beliefs about
their capabilities to produce designated levels of performance that exercise influence
over events that affect their lives”. He identified acts of people with “high assurance in their
capabilities”, such as:

1. Approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered

2. Set challenging goals and maintain strong commitment to them
3. Heighten or sustain efforts in the face of failures or setbacks
4. Attribute failure to insufficient effort or deficient knowledge and skills which are
acquirable
5. Approach threatening situations with assurance that they can exercise control over
them.

In contrast, people “who doubt their capabilities”:

1. Shy away from the tasks they view as personal threats

2. Have low aspirations and weak commitment to goals they choose to pursue
3. Dwell on personal deficiencies, obstacles they will encounter, and all kinds of adverse
outcomes rather than concentrating on how to perform successfully
4. Slacken their efforts and give up quickly in the face of difficulty
5. Slow to recover their sense of efficacy following failure
6. Fall easy victim to stress and depression.

Dr. Bandura identified that “mastery experiences” or “personal performance accomplishments”

are the most effective ways to create a strong sense of efficacy. Successes build a robust belief
in one’s personal efficacy. Failures undermine it, especially if failures occur before a sense of
efficacy is firmly established.Vicarious experiences through observance of social models also
influence one’s perception of self-efficacy. The most important factor that determines the
strength of influence of an observed success or failure on one’s own self-efficacy is the degree
of similarity between the observer and the model.

Carol S. Dweck’s Fixed and Growth Mindset Theory

Carol S. Dweck is the author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. She was
born on October 17, 1946. She graduated from Bernard College in 1967 and earned her PhD
from Yale University in 1972. She taught at Columbia University, Harvard University and
University of Illinois before joining Stanford University in 2004. 

Fixed and Growth Mindset

 Dr. Dweck’s contribution to social psychology relates to implicit theories of intelligence
with her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success published in 2006. Dr. Dweck
described people with two types of mindset. 
People who believe that success is based on their innate abilities have a “fixed” theory of
intelligence, and goes under fixed mindset. 
In a fixed mindset, students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents
are just fixed traits.They have a certain amount and their goal becomes to look smart all the
time and never look dumb.

On the other hand, people who believe that success is based on hardwork, learning,
training and perseverance have growth mindset.
In the growth mindset, students understand that their talents and abilities can be
developed through effort, good teaching and persistence. They don’t necessarily
 According to Dr. Dweck, individuals may not necessarily be aware of their own mindset,
but their mindset can still be discerned based on their behavior.
Individuals with a growth mindset are more likely to continue working hard despite
setbacks while individuals with a fixed mindset can be affected by subtle environmental cues.

Edwin A. Locke’s Goal Setting Theory

Edwin A Locke is internationally known for his research on goal setting. He was born on
January 5,1938. He is Dean’s Professor of Leadership and motivation at the Robert H.Smith
School of Business at the University of Maryland, College Park. He received his BA from
Harvard in 1960 and his PhD in Industrial Psychology from Cornell University in 1964.

He has published more than 300 chapters, notes and articles in professional journals on
such subjects as work motivation, job satisfaction, incentives and the philosophy of science.

Goal Setting Theory

The goal setting theory was first studied by Dr. Locke in the middle of 1960s. He
continued to do more studies in relation to his theory. In 1996, he published another article
entitled “Motivation Through Conscious Goal Setting”. The article is about his 30 years of
research findings on the relationship between conscious performance goals and performance
on work tasks.

Locke first described that the approach of goal setting theory is based on what Aristotle
called final causality, that is, action caused by a purpose. It accepts the axiomatic status of
consciousness and volition. It also assumes that introspective reports provide useful and valid
data for formulating psychological concepts and measuring psychological phenomena.

Lesson 3:   Less to, More Care

Introduction

The American Psychological Association (2017) has these statements about stress:
“Stress is often described as a feeling of being overwhelmed, worried or run-down. Stress can
affect people of all ages, genders and circumstances that can lead to both physical and
psychological health issues. By definition, stress is any uncomfortable emotional experience
accompanied by predictable biochemical, physiological and behavioral changes. Some stress
can be beneficial at times, producing a boost that provides the drive and energy to help people
get through situations like exams or work deadlines. However, an extreme amount of stress can
have health consequences and adversely affect the immune, cardiovascular, neuroendocrine
and central nervous system.

Stress and Human Response

The American Institute of Stress (AIS) has distinguished different types of stress and
the human response to it.

Hans Selye defined stress as the body’s nonspecific response to any demand,
whether it is caused by or results in pleasant or unpleasant stimuli. It is essential to
differentiate between the unpleasant or harmful variety of stress termed distress, which often
connotes disease and eustress, which often connotes euphoria.

Eustress is stress in daily life that has positive connotations such as marriage,
promotion, baby, winning money, new friends and graduation. 

Distress is stress in daily life that has negative connotations such as divorce,
punishment, injury, negative feelings, financial problems and work difficulties.

During both eustress and distress, the body undergoes virtually the same nonspecific
responses to the various positive or negative stimuli acting upon it. However, eustress causes
much less damage than distress. This demonstrates conclusively that is how an individual
accepts stress that determines ultimately whether the person can adapt successfully to change.

Hans Selye hypothesized a general adaptation or stress syndrome. This stress

syndrome affects the whole body. Stress always manifests itself by a syndrome, a sum of
changes, and not simply one change.

The general stress syndrome has three components:

1. The alarm stage - represents a mobilization of the body’s defensive forces. The body is
 preparing for the “fight or flight” syndrome. This involves a number hormones
 and chemicals excreted at high levels as well as an increase in heart rate.
Blood 
 pressure, perspiration and respiration rate. 

2. The stage of resistance - the body becomes adaptive to the challenge and even begins
 to resist it. The length of this stage of resistance is dependent upon the body’s
 innate and stored adaptation energy reserves and upon the intensity of the
 stressor. The acquired adaptation is lost if the individual is subject to still greater
 exposure to the stressor. The organism then enters into the third and final stage.
3. The exhaustion stage - the body dies because it has used up its resources of
 adaptation energy. Thankfully, few people ever experience this last stage.
 Stress diseases are maladies caused principally by errors in the body’s general
adaptation process. They will not occur when all the body’s regulatory processes are properly
checked and balanced. They will not develop when adaptation is facilitated by improved
perception and interpretation. The biggest problems with derailing the general stress syndrome
and causing disease is an absolute excess, deficiency or disequilibrium  in the amount of
adaptive hormones. For example, corticoids, Adrenocorticotropic Hormone (ACTH), and growth
hormones are produced during stress.Unfortunately, if stress is induced chronically, our defense
response lowers its resistance since fewer antibodies are produced and an inflammatory
response dwindles.

Chronic stress is unpleasant, even when it is transient. A stressful situation whether

something environmental, such as looming work deadline or psychological, such as persistent
worry about losing a job, can trigger a cascade of stress hormones that produce well-
orchestrated physiological changes. A stressful incident can make the heart pound and
breathing quicken. Muscles tense and beads of sweat appear.

This combination of reaction is also known as the “fight or flight” response because it
evolved as a survival mechanism, enabling people and other mammals to react quickly to life-
threatening situations. The carefully orchestrated yet near- instantaneous sequence of hormonal
changes and physiological responses help someone to fight the threat off or flee to safety. The
body can also overreact to stressors that are not life-threatening such as traffic jams, work
pressure and family difficulties. Overtime repeated activation of the stress response takes a toll
on the body. Research suggests that chronic stress contributes to high blood pressure,
promotes the formation of artery-clogging deposits and causes brain changes that may
contribute to anxiety, depression and addiction. More preliminary research suggests that chronic
stress may also contribute to obesity, both through direct mechanisms or indirectly.

The stress response begins in the brain. When someone confronts an oncoming car
or other danger, the eyes or ears or both, send the information to the amygdala, an area of the
brain that contributes to emotional processing. The amygdala interprets the images and
sounds. When it Self-kindnessSelf-kindness danger, it instantly sends a distress signal to the
hypothalamus.

Hypothalamus - is involved in different daily activities like eating or drinking, in the control of
 the body’s temperature and energy maintenance and in the of memorizing and in stress
 control. This area of the brain functions like a command center, communicating with the
rest of the body through the nervous system so that the person has the energy to fight or flee.

Amygdala - ability to feel certain emotions and to perceive them in other people. This includes
 fear and the many changes that it causes in the body. When someone experiences a
 stressful event, the amygdala, an area of the brain that contributes to emotional
 processing, sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus.

Techniques to Counter Chronic Stress

 1. Relaxation response - Dr. Herbert Benson, director emeritus of the Benson-Henry
Institute for Mind body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital, has devoted much
of his career to learning how people can counter the stress response by using a
combination of approaches that elicit the relaxation response. These include deep
abdominal breathing, focus on a soothing word (such as peace or calm), visualization of
tranquil scenes, repetitive prayer, yoga and tai chi.

2. Physical activity - people can use exercise to stifle the buildup of stress in several
ways. Exercise, such as taking a brisk walk shortly after feeling stressed, not only
deepens breathing but also helps relieve muscle tension. 

3. Social support - confidants, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, relatives, spouses and

companions all provide a life-enhancing social net and may increase longevity. It is not
clear why, but the buffering theory holds that people who enjoy close relationships with
family and friends receive emotional support that indirectly helps to sustain them at times
of chronic stress and crisis.

Self-care Therapy

A positive way to counter stress is self-care therapy. Nancy Apperson of Northern Illinois
University has provided steps for self-care:

1. Stop, breathe, and tell yourself: during an unexpected event or crises, we are faced
with dealing with a new reality and it takes time to incorporate what happened into our
everyday lives. Identify the steps you need to take first, write them down and focus on
each step one at a time. If you look at everything you have to do. You will become
overwhelmed. Remember you can only do one thing at a time and focus exclusively on
that one thing.

2. Acknowledge to yourself what you are feeling: all feelings are normal so accept
whatever you are feeling. Once you recognize, name, and accept your feelings, you feel
less out of control. You can then find a comfortable place to express your feelings.
During periods of extreme  stress and grief, it is very hard to hold back your feelings,
particularly your tears and anger. This is normal so describe this as grieving or sadness
or anger. 

3. Find  someone who listens and is accepting: you do not need advice, you need to be
heard. Sharing your story is how you begin to accept whatever happened and integrate it
into your new reality. It may be that you just need to let go of your expectations of how
things should be and talking about your feelings and beliefs is the beginning of that
process.
 4. Maintain your normal routine as much as possible: making everyday decisions,  
deciding to get dressed, doing the dishes or going to work, gives you a sense of control
and feels comforting as it is a familiar activity. Be realistic with what you can do and
remember everything right now will take you longer to do. Avoid making major decisions
based on the stress you feel right now.

5. Allow plenty of time for a task: you will not be as productive as you normally are.
Accept how much you are able to do right now and recognize it will not be this way
forever. During periods of extreme stress, prolonged stress, or after a crisis, your ability
to concentrate and focus on tasks is diminished and it will take time for your
concentration to return so give extra time and be gentle and accepting of yourself and
what you can do.

6. Take good care of yourself. Remember to:

a. Get enough rest and sleep.Sleep at least six hours and not more than nine hours.
b. Eat regularly and make healthy choices. Skipping meals, particularly breakfast,
contributes to fatigue, mood swing,and poor concentration.
c. Know your limits and when you need to let go. Some problems are beyond our control. If
something cannot be changed, work at accepting it for what it is. Resist the urge to fix
the unfixable or try to control the uncontrollable.

d. Identify or create a nurturing place in your home. A rocking chair, a nice view and
soothing music are important components to a nurturing place. Twenty minutes
of spending in a rocking chair reduces both your physical pain and anxiety.

e. Practice relaxation or meditation. Go to your nurturing place and listen to guided

relaxation tapes. Time spent in meditation or prayer allows your mind and body
to slow down and let go of the stress.

f. Escape for a while through meditation, reading a book watching a movie or

taking a short trip.

Self-compassion Therapy
 Self-compassion is another way to counter stress. It entails being warm and
understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail or feel inadequate, rather than flagellating
ourselves with self-criticism. It recognizes that being imperfect and experiencing life difficulties is
inevitable, so we soothe and nurture ourselves when confronting our pain rather than getting
angry when life falls short of our ideals. We clearly acknowledge our problems and
shortcomings without judgment. So we can do what is necessary to help ourselves. We cannot
always be who we want to be. When this reality is denied or resisted. Suffering arises in the
form  of stress, frustration and self-criticism. When this reality is accepted with benevolence,
however, we generate positive emotions of kindness and care that help us cope. Self-
compassion recognizes that life challenges and personal failures are part of being human, an
experience we all share. In this way, it helps us to feel less desolate and isolated when we are
in pain. 

Self- compassion Phrases

Neff provided self-compassion phrases when feeling stress or emotional pain, perhaps
when you are caught in a traffic jam, arguing with a loved one or feeling inadequate in some
way. It is helpful to have a set of phrases memorized to help you remember to be more
compassionate to yourself in the moment. You can take a breath, put your hand over your heart,
or gently hug yourself and repeat the following phrases:

* this is the moment of suffering

* suffering is part of my life
* may I be kind to myself
* may I give myself the compassion I need

These phrases capture the essence of the three components of self-compassion.The

first phrase helps to mindfully open to the sting of emotional pain. The second phrase reminds
us that suffering unites all living beings and reduces the tendency to feel ashamed and isolated
when things go wrong in our lives. The third phrase begins the process of responding with self-
kindness rather than self-criticism. The final phrase reinforces the idea that you both need and
deserve compassion in difficult moments.

Self-compassion and Emotional Well-being

One of the most consistent findings in the research literature is that greater self-
compassion is linked to less anxiety and depression. A key feature of self-compassion is the
lack of self-criticism, and self-criticism is known to be an important predictor of anxiety and
depression.However, self-compassion still offers protection against anxiety and depression
when controlling for self-criticism and negative effects. Thus, self-compassion is not merely a
matter of looking on the bright side of things or avoiding negative feelings. Self-compassionate
people recognize when they are suffering, but are kind toward themselves in these moments,
acknowledging their connectedness with the rest of humanity.

Self-compassion, Motivation and Health

Research supports the idea that self-compassion enhances motivation rather than self-
indulgence. For instance,while self-compassion is negatively related to perfectionism, it has no
association with the level of performance standards adapted to the self. Self-compassionate
people aim just as high, but also recognize and accept that they cannot always reach their
goals. Self-compassion is also linked to greater personal initiative-the desire to reach one’s full
potential. Self-compassionate people have been found to have less motivational anxiety and
engage in fewer self-handicapping behaviors such as procrastination than those who lack self-
compassion.

Self-compassion versus Self-esteem

Research indicates that self-compassion is moderately associated with trait levels of

self-esteem as one would expect, given that both represent positive attitudes toward the self.
However, self-compassion still predicts greater happiness and optimism as well as less
depression and anxiety when controlling for self-esteem. Moreover, the two constructs differ in
terms of their impact on well being. Also, self-esteem had a robust association with narcissism
while self-compassion had no association with narcissism. In contrast to those with high self-
esteem, self-compassionate people are less focused on evaluating themselves, feeling superior
to others, worrying about whether or not others are evaluating them, defending their viewpoints,
or angrily reacting against those who disagree with them. Self-esteem is thought to be an
evaluation of superiority/inferiority that helps to establish social rank stability and is related to
alerting, energizing impulses and dopamine activation. While self-esteem positions the self in
competition with others and amplifies feelings of distinctiveness and separation, self-
compassion enhances feelings of safety and interconnectedness.

Self-compassionate Letter

An example of a self-compassion exercise is the self-compassionate letter. This exercise

has been used in therapeutic programs.

Steps in doing the self-compassionate letter exercise:

1. Candidly describe a problem that tends to make you feel bad about yourself, such as
physical flaw, a relationship problem, or failure at work or school. Note what emotions
come-up ----shame, anger, sadness, fear ---as you write.
2. Next, think of an imaginary friend who is unconditionally accepting and compassionate,
someone who knows all your strengths and weaknesses, understands your life history,
your current circumstances and understands the limit of human nature.
3. Finally, write a letter to yourself from that perspective. What would your friend say about
your perceived problem? What words would he or she use to convey deep compassion?
How would your friend remind you that you are only human? If your friend were to make
any suggestions, how would they reflect unconditional understanding?
4. When you are done writing, put the letter down for a while and come back to it later.
Then read the letter again, letting the words sink in, allowing yourself to be soothed and
comforted.