Mariejade’s Diary

April 27, 2022

Last night until this dawn, I dreamed about the world or place where there were infected people. Those
infected people would turn into a green being with sharp and dark green claws, also they would look
thinner but their strength is relatively stronger than any normal person, that means, they would be able
to throw off someone with just their claws.

I’m also going to tell you something different but this is also a fragment from my dream, it’s about killing
couples who display their affection publicly, especially in a public bath. There’s one time when a couple
with a kid in the bath were flirting with each other, and then the people around them started to get into
position, step by step, until they completely got out of the bath, then the couple were shot with a gun,
turning the bath into bloody red. And this would explain why there were more children in their
community.

So, I’m going to continue discussing the dream from earlier, where there were green strong and ugly
beings which we often call monsters. Going out and in of their closed community ids so peculiar, we
have to enter a door which housed a few humans which facilitates the opening and closing of the doors.
Then, I saw two small doors that it almost looked like a small window on the floor. That is where we
have to pass through in order to return to the human world and if were tinge with a bit of alienity then
we would be stuck in that door. Then in that dream I somehow did get out to buy or find something?
Then I met group of girls dancing and singing, so I came along when they asked if I would. Then I danced
by imitating their moves, until I returned to the door to the human world then I think that I hallucinated
at that time, but I saw them change their appearance into something transparent white and a crazy
smiling eyes and lips, then it was gone in a blink of an eye. Then after I got to the door, I was stuck
because there seems to be something alien remained in my body, and that’s when I realized that those
people were not people at all.

Here I would like to tell you the story where I experienced the perspectives or view or the whole
persona including the feelings that was felt by those two people. However, I’m not too sure what really
happened though, it’s just that in the first perspective or person, I felt justified. This might not be a part
of my dream but only an imagination, but this is a plausible explanation why I seem to feel justified. So,
I’m going to tell it now. The first person was a hero? Or was he a normal person? Nevertheless, he was
infected with the green being because of the second person which is a scrawny man and a little too
weak. So, the first person slowly turned into a monstrous being and he wants to seek revenge to the
scrawny man, so I feel like it’s only right to take revenge because the second person brought it on his
self when he made the first person get affected. I saw the first person rip the other person with his own
hands, his hands, legs, until he can’t walk. I feel like I won’t be able to stand the sight of it, but I can’t get
away with it so I watched till the end. But the second part where I will tell you about, is a little bloodier
and gore, since I experience the perspective of the second person. It started when the scrawny man or
the second person were curled into a ball at a side, he looked so weak and at the verge of crying, but I
didn’t really feel anything of it because in my mind, he was the one who pushed another person causing
him to be infected. But I was bewildered when I saw the dark place where he was in, and that’s when I
realized that this place is where he will die at the hands of the first person. The first person was slowly
out of his mind at this time, but still, due to his will to get revenge and even if he doesn’t. He
approached the scrawny man, and halfway there, there’s no talking that can be heard, just a cry of a
man in pain. The first person scratched the hands of the scrawny man, while the latter ran for his life.
But as I stated, he was just scrawny thin and weak man, so he was not fast enough to escape the sharp
grasp of the fist person, he was again scratched in his legs. While I, who is currently in the second
person’s perspective, felt the fear and pain that is building high and is about to burst in the scrawny
man’s chest. Every scratch hurts so much that I was infused with helplessness while running together
with the scrawny man. And I felt even more helpless as I know what would happen next. The first person
would break my hands one by one, then my legs. And I definitely don’t want to experience that kind of
pain in my whole life! So, I ran and ran, even though I know that my efforts are futile. With only half a
step away, I saw someone behind the first person who completely turned into a green being, he waved
for me to run faster and that he would try to suppress the monster, so I forced myself to focus on
running forward, but still I was again scratched in my hands. And after I looked back again, I saw that the
other man was straining the monster.

Then, the dream was cut, though I could still feel the residual emotions I felt in that perspective. So,
that’s it. I just experienced the perspectives of two people at consecutive time, and this is something
that I realized. It’s all about perspective. If you’re looking using the eyes of the first person, you’ll feel
that somehow, killing the second person is an act of justification, and the at the scrawny man deserved
it. But once you start looking at the opposite perspective, you’ll feel that the act of killing is nowhere
near the word ‘justice’.