Me Before You

(inspired poem)

Hi, I'm Lou, Louisa Clark

When I first met you, you just bark

Your infamous Christy Brown, just knock me up

It's your infamous defense to make someone back out

I tried to be cheerful like I used to, in the coffee shop

But you just assumed I'm like anybody else

Weeks past, I knew, that I grew hatred for you

You don't want to talk to me

So be it then

Till unexpected visitors came up

Your ex and your bestfriend wanted to wrap up

They said they wanted to move on, to let go

But you just said nothing, except , congratulations

Wishing them a happy life, that reminded you, you couldn't

When they left, you're enraged

Smashing the photograph that reminded you of the past

The past where you can still do what you wanted in life

Where your perfect definition of happiness lies

I tried to make you go outside

Which was the sole purpose why I was hired

Horse racing was the one I thought the perfect destination

But your wheelchair sunked in the muddy road

And when I wanted you to be comfortable in a restaurant

The bloody cashier won't let us in without the bloody badge

Time passed, I don't know when it started

Maybe when you noticed the bits of carrots in Mr. Fork when I fed you

Or when you forced me to watch a subtitled movie

Which I believe I don't want, but I just did

Maybe when you made me realize that I love classical music

Or when you brought the most unforgettable gift I have ever recieved

A Chinese silk and my bumble bee tights

You made me so happy, I forgot our time is limited

I heard your sister and mother talking

I've only got two months left now

So I tried everything to keep you alive

To keep you outdoors as many times as possible

I tried hard to heal you

Instead, you're the one who healed me

You told me a secret that no one knows

In return, I told mine too

Under the gloomy clouds facing the castle

I leaned my head in your shoulder

And held on tight, in your hands

You always told me to live my life, because I was still young

You wanted me to travel to my heart's desire

To fullfill my dreams and use my talent

To aim higher and don't just be contented and settle for life

You said we only live once and it's our responsibily to live the best out of it
My calendar is full of the things I want to do beside you

And the biggest plan is yet to come

I wanted you to try the things you always do when you still can

Bungee jumping, diving and falling from the sky

To feel free again

I believe this is the only thing that could change your mind

But unexpected thing happen

Pneumonia strikes you, an infection you cannot run away from

You looked deathly pale and... hopeless and weak

Very weak, that I can feel the pain like my own

Still, ten days later, we flew, wanted to enjoy

You're happy and I'm overjoyed

Thinking that you will choose to stay by my side

Longer , that we can live through life

Me...and you, together

But you refused, thinking , I could find someone better

But I only want you Will

You made me believe that you will

Then the six months ended

And you're still hard-headed

You said that you're thankful that you spent your remaining days with me

But I don't need to hear any more of that

And I don't want to witness how you ended you life in Dignitas

But I want to be beside you, maybe I could still change your mind

So I flew to Switzerland
But until your last moment you didn't budge

Even though I desperately wanted to get you out of that bed

Your face seems so contented

Then I knew, that all I can do is cry

And force myself to understand you

That you're tired of depending in your wheelchair

That you tried to end your life so many times

And that you saw this as an oppurtunity to a peaceful end

That you don't want me to suffer from seeing you in pain

But I hope you know that I don't care if you're quadriplegic

That I won't get tired of caring for you

At least I can be with you for a longer time

But I had to understand you

You changed my life Will

And I know I can't live my life like before

Still I need to learn how to breathe

After you