Interpersonal

Communication
Listening

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 Fast Facts
About Listening

• We listen at 125-250 wpm, think at 1000-3000

wpm.
• 75% of the time we are distracted,
preoccupied or forgetful.
• 20% of the time, we remember what we hear.
• More than 35% of businesses think listening is
a top skill for success.
• Less than 2% of people have had formal
education with listening.
This might be why we are better at
“talking” than listening.

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 Listening:

“the process of receiving,

constructing meaning from, and
responding to spoken and/or
nonverbal messages.” p. 175
To listen means to…

• to understand
• to feel
• to perceive
• to sense

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 Listening is Fundamental in
Communication

• “Listening creates reality.”

• Enacts, develops, and maintains a

variety of social & personal relationships.

• Most of our time is spent “listening,” but

what are we hearing?.
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 Listening makes up 42-
60% of our
communication.
Speakin Writing Reading
g

Listening 7
Percentage of Communication Training
Mode of Formal Years Percentage of
Communication of Training Time Used

Writing 12 years 9%

Reading 6-8 years 16 %

Speaking 1-2 years 30%

Listening 0-few hours 45%

 Hearing

• A physiological activity that

occurs when sound waves
hit our eardrums.

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 Listening vs. Hearing

• Hearing- physical process; natural; passive

• Listening- physical & mental process; active;

learned process; a skill

• Listening is hard!
You must choose to participate
in the process of listening.
Listening involves:

• Attending
• Understanding
• Remembering
• Evaluating
• Responding
A–U–R–E–R
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 Define ---
Attending?
 Attending

•Get physically and mentally ready to listen.

•Make the shift from speaker to listener a complete one.
•Hear a person out before you react.
•Adjust to the listening goals of the situation.
• “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening
carefully. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway

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 Understanding – Accurately
decoding the message you share with
the speaker.

• Determine the organization

• Attend to nonverbal cues
• Ask questions
• Paraphrase (silently or back to the
person) 14
 Paraphrase the following statements to
reflect both the thoughts and feelings of the
person speaking.

1. “I really like communication, but what could I do

with a major in this field?”
2. “I don’t know if Pat and I are getting too serious
too fast.”
3. “I don’t go see my mother anymore.”
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 Remembering
• Repeat information
• Take notes (mental post-it notes)
• Therapists makes physical notes.

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 Responding - communicating attention
and interest

• Let others know you are interested.

• Give vocal responses (examples?)

• Show that you care about the other person and what he or she says
(how would you do this?)

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 Guidelines for Listening

• Be fully focused on what is happening.

• Adapt listening skills and style to accommodate
differences in listening purposes and individuals.

• Remember that listening is an active process and you

must invest energy and effort.

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 We can think much faster than
another person can talk. Instead
of always focusing on ‘replying’
focus on remembering so you can
paraphrase back to a person.

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