The Connection Between Verbal Abuse and Anxiety Everyone Ignores

January 26, 2019

There is a strong link between anxiety and long-term mental abuse. Chronic stress and trauma lead to
various mental disorders, one of which is anxiety. However, many people overlook the serious
negative effects of mental abuse, but it is actually on the same level of harmfulness as physical abuse.

People can suffer a lot due to being yelled at, insulted, and disrespected. Scientists explain that
cyberbullying and real-life verbal abuse are seriously dangerous, as they affect both hemispheres of the
human brain, and lead to numerous health issues.

According to Sherri Gordon, a published author, and a bullying prevention expert:

“Because verbal abuse isn’t as clear-cut as other forms of abuse and bullying, like physical bullying
and sexual bullying, it can be hard to identify. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

Typically, verbal abuse involves some sort of verbal interaction that causes a person emotional harm.
For instance, when someone is being downright critical, acting out in anger, and using words to try to
control another person, this is verbal abuse.

This, in turn, leaves a victim questioning who they are. In fact, it is not uncommon for a victim of verbal
abuse to feel inadequate, stupid, and worthless. After all, they are being defined by a verbally abusive
person.

If verbal abuse occurs in a dating relationship, it can be particularly confusing because the partner is
likely not abusive all the time. As a result, when the abuser is loving and gentle the victim can forget all
the about the negative behavior.

Ultimately, the victim ends up ignoring the pattern of verbal abuse or makes excuses for the behavior
saying things like he is just stressed out or he is going through a tough time right now.”

Verbal abuse can lead to the following:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Suicidal thoughts
• PTSD
• Chronic pain
• Migraines
• Eating disorders
• Digestive issue

Short-Term Symptoms

• Overthinking
• Indecisiveness
• Lack of enthusiasm and low self-esteem

Verbal abuse can be manifested through various kinds of behaviors, and the following can be clear
signs of it:

1. Mood Killer
Abusers need to be in control of the situation, so they make you feel bad and spoil your good mood
whenever possible since they feed when you are sad.

2. Name-Calling

Name-calling is a way to manipulate others and harm the victim.

3. Abusers Are Always Right

Abusers never apologize or enter a discussion about their behavior, as they believe they are never
wrong.

4. Blame

Abusers blame other people for everything, in order to make them feel guilty and never good enough.

5. Jokes

If done without consent and permission of the other, joking can cause harm to the person affected.

6. Attack Interests

Abusers usually attack the hobbies, and interests of other people, making them feel worthless, and even
end up lying.

7. Disrespect

Abusers usually disrespect others and do not appreciate anything other people do, making them feel
useless and empty.

8. Behind Closed Doors

Abusers usually torment their victims behind closed doors, when no one can see them. Verbal abuse
can happen at school, work, and at home, leading to severe trauma.

9. Isolation

Abused people often live isolated and avoid socializing, in order to protect themselves. They feel
anxious when with other people since they lack self-confidence. In case you notice this, do your best to
help this person.

Anxiety can be the result of many abusive behaviors and traumatic

experiences. Verbal abuse can also play a huge role in this illness.
Sticks and stones may break your bones and words….they can hurt you too. Verbal abuse is
demeaning, disrespectful and just plain wrong. Have you ever had someone in your face yelling at
you because they’re upset, or have you been called names before? I have, and unfortunately, I have
called people names myself. We often look over this form of abuse and think it’s okay, but it’s not
okay at all.
Verbal abuse – the worst kind

Whether it’s bullying, cyber bullying or domestic abuse, verbal onslaughts can be worse than any other
form of abuse. The reason this is true is that it affects the connection between the right and left
hemisphere of the brain. Considering our brain develops over time, for many years, the developmental
process is affected by this violent verbiage.

Just as with sexual or physical abuse, we are changed dramatically as children, then as adults, we
look at the world in a completely different way than those who were not abused. Many of us suffer
from anxiety as a result of verbal abuse.

Observations show the truth

While observing, through a brain scan, young adults between 18-25, scientists were able to tell the
difference between those who suffered from anxiety and depression as opposed to those who did not.
Those who did suffer from anxiety and depression were also former victims of verbal abuse.

It turns out that these same individuals which experienced verbal abuse, went through this trauma
during middle school years, a time when the brain is developing at its highest rate.

Verbal abuse/emotional abuse

Both verbal and emotional abuse are similar. In fact, when someone is verbally abused, it affects them
emotionally. Particular words even used passively, can cause severe damage to the self-esteem and
emotions. This can act as a domino effect, causing disruptions in the victims work, relationships and
home life, even years later.

At some point, anxiety will kick in, which will then become a rather uncontrollable response to
otherwise normal changes in life. You can see the connection between these things and even imagine
the permanent and detrimental damage that can and will be done to the brain and its structures.

Now, let me be frank with you

There are many symptoms associated with verbal abuse. There are immediate consequences as well as
long-term effects. Here are a few examples of the damage that can be done just by speaking harshly.
All these things can be directed linked to anxiety disorders, by the way. This is going to make you think
about what you say beforehand, trust me.

Short-term effects:

• Trouble communicating
• Overanalyzing situations
• Low self-esteem and no enthusiasm for life
• Impaired decision making

Long-term effects:

• Migraines
• Chronic pain
• Digestive disorders
• Anxiety (there it is, folks)
• Depression
• PTSD
 • Eating disorders
• Suicide

Now you can see what your harsh words and name calling can do to someone you love. Maybe it
doesn’t cause this much damage in the first, second or third incidence, but over time, great harm can
be done. Basically, people learn to frame their life around what others think and say about them, if they
have yet to discover their own healthy self-esteem.

Anxiety surely can come from verbal abuse, and if you are enduring such abuse, you need to put a stop
to it. Want to know how to recognize verbal abuse? Let me help you change your life, check out the
list of indicators below.

Name calling

Verbal abusers use name calling as a way to shock you into doing what they think is right. It’s
basically about instilling fear. Calling you names is normal to them, and damaging to you.

Behind closed doors

Most often, the verbal abuse will happen behind closed doors. This is because the abuser knows that
others will recognize the abuse, while the victim, alone, will be easier to manipulate.

Surprise abuse

Many times the verbal abuse will occur when you are starting to gain a little enthusiasm. If you seem
happy, notice how the abuser will swoop in and start criticizing you. I believe, personally, that the
abuser is afraid of losing control when you’re happy. I will even surmise to say that if they aren’t the
source of your happiness, they become petrified and use abuse to gain control again.

Attacks the victim’s interests

The abuser will attack the things that the victim loves to do. If you are able to function enough to enjoy
something on your own, the abuser will degrade what you do. Notice how your abuser never likes the
things that you are interested in. It’s a clue.

No apologies

Unlike most other disagreements or fights where both parties apologize, the abuser will never admit to
any wrongs. When he is proved wrong and there’s really no way for him to deny that fact, he will
respond with, “Just drop it” “Just forget about it” and “It’s over”. This shows that he cannot win but he
will not lose control.

Isolation

The victim of a verbal abuser will always feel isolated from other people, namely family, and friends.
The abuser feels that once you’re isolated, they have full control to make you into whatever they want.

Of course, a little personal input

Since I started blog work for this page, I have over turned many rocks which covered the damage done
to me in the past. I have discovered so many things which have played a role in my life and that
molded who I am today. Unfortunately, many of the things that I overlooked were actually abusive and
destructive. These were both things that I had done and things that were imposed upon me as well.
Verbal abuse was one of those things, and I believe whole heartedly that a good portion of my anxious
behaviors derived from the hateful words and manipulative actions of my abusers. I know now that it
wasn’t normal to be called names, degraded and humiliated in front of other people.

I no longer have the victim mentality that I once buried myself in, and I hope my work can help you
too.