8/21/2015

MARITAL  PERSONAL
0.5
Effect Size ( r )
0.4

THE ALL-OR-NOTHING 0.3

0.2

MARRIAGE 0.1

0.0

Eli J. Finkel -0.1

Northwestern University -0.2

1975 1980 1985 1990 1995 2000 2005
@Eli_Finkel
Christine Proulx et al., 2007, J Marriage and the Family

Ernest Burgess Stephanie Coontz Andrew Cherlin

In expressive individualism, “a relationship is
created by full sharing of authentic feelings,”
and love “becomes the mutual exploration of
infinitely rich, complex, and exciting selves.”

1. Institutional 3. Individualistic
2. Companionate Robert Bellah et al., 1985, Habits of the Heart

2. “Higher need gratificat-ions produce 3.

more Self-
Actu-alization
profound happiness, serenity, and richness
of the inner life.”

Esteem

Belonging
and love

Safety

Abraham Maslow
Physiological

1
 8/21/2015

SPOUSAL TIME MARITAL HAPPINESS

40 1975
35
Percent “Very Happy”
35 2003 70%

30
Hours / Week

26
25 65%
20

15 13 60%
10 9

5
55%

1972
1974
1976
1978
1980
1982
1984
1986
1988
1990
1992
1994
1996
1998
2000
2002
2004
2006
2008
2010
2012
2014
0
No Children at Home Children at Home
Jeffrey Dew, 2009, Social Forces General Social Survey

MARITAL BLISS @ 10+ YEARS IMPLICATIONS: 3 QUESTIONS

Percent Blissed Out
50%
1. What are you and your spouse asking of the marriage?
40%
40%

2. Are the two of you investing the resources required to meet those
30% expectations?
20% 3. If not, can you recalibrate?
20%
- Invest more
- Optimize resource use (the Marriage Hack)
10%
- Ask less

0%
1965 2012
Cuber & Harroff, 1965, book // O’Leary et al., 2012, SPPS

Fin.
THE ALL-OR-NOTHING
MARRIAGE
Eli J. Finkel
Northwestern University
@Eli_Finkel